Distant Memories
by Sellea
Summary: Before Harry was born, four Marauders shared a special bond of friendship. Now, one is a traitor, one hero died for his family, one misunderstood man died protecting all he had, and one still lives, a monster reborn every full moon. This is their story.
1. Prologue

Prologue

Fanfiction is something I'll never take for granted. It allows up to snap out of the reality and dive into a ready-made world that was created for readers. In this case, the world is of J.K. Rowling. Creating out own memories in this world allows our imaginations to run free. Through the Harry Potter books, I've laughed, cried and really set my brain to work on all the mysteries involved.

One story always intrigued me, the story that was mentioned every so often, but never fully told. The story of the Marauders is perhaps more mysterious to me in some ways. James, Sirius, Lily, Remus and Peter shaped Harry and all that he has become. When J.K. Rowling said that she wasn't going to do a prequel, my heart dropped. I was really hoping she would. But then, I thought of all the plans I could have for the Marauders. And so, I wanted to write about it for a long time, but never really found an excuse. Plus, I'm a fourteen year old in high school, so of course writing with my workload seemed … impossible.

I finally started this project as a birthday present for one of my good friends. I was so glad to be given an excuse to write that I just dove into the story, all thoughts forgotten. Within the first day, I had already written out ten chapters and planned the next couple of chapters. I have to admit; I'm obsessed. I was, and I still am. I wanted to write about Remus and his transformations, his fear of the moon, his rise from frightened, lonely boy to a strong man with friends. I wanted to write about James and Lily, their love, their defiances against the Dark Lord. I wanted to write about Sirius and his hidden golden heart, the one that people often miss because they concentrate on his last name . I wanted to write about Peter, once a friend but now a traitor, causing the death of his friends. But I didn't want to simply just write. I wanted to feel. I wanted to feel every word. I wanted to look around and see myself in the midst of Hogwarts at the time where the Marauders ruled the school. Because that's what writing is supposed to do. It's supposed to transport you into the story, make you laugh, cry and feel. And that's exactly what I found myself doing.

Harry, Ron and Hermione will always be in our hearts, even when J.K. Rowling finishes the Harry Potter books with their seventh and last year of school adventures. Their lives will be explained and all mysteries solved with the final touch of her pen. But then, four important lives remain a mystery. The lives of James, Peter, Remus, Sirius in addition to Lily may go on forever in his memory. What they truly were, how J.K. Rowling planned their lives out to be, we can only speculate.

Join me on a magical journey spanning the years of the famous Marauders, from when Lily Evans first gets her letter to when Sirius is wrongly accused to the death of the Potters. This story will stay forever true to what Ms. Rowling already has in the books. All the information is pretty much canon. If I make mistakes, feel free to point them out to me. Constructive criticism is highly welcomed and loved. While the adventures of Harry Potter end, a new but older adventure begins with four friends.

Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the characters except the couple of OCs, they belong to the great J.K. Rowling. The following passage also belong to J.K. Rowling. This disclaimer goes for the entire story, not just this chapter.

* * *

_July, 1971_

* * *

HOGWARTS SCHOOL

_of_ WITCHCRAFT _and_ WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

(_Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, _

_Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards_)

Dear Ms. Evans,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on September 1. We await you owl by no later than July 31.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

_Deputy Headmistress_

* * *

It was an unbelievable day, a different kind of day. It was the day that everything changed. For better or for worse, only time could tell; but it was one of those days that changed lives forever. It was the day that magic entered into the common Muggle world.

And so, as Lily Evans stared at the letter, her wide green eyes filled with joy. The force of the grip she was exerting on the piece of parchment should have made it crumple, but it didn't. It remained firmly clasped in her hand, blaring out those words. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

It had been breakfast time at the Evans' house. Lily had finished her breakfast early and offered to get the morning post. Everything was going normally, just as normal as any other day. So it was indeed a shock when Lily found that a surprise was waiting for her in the hallway when she arrived at the front door, a handsome brown own with a letter attached to its leg perched unblinkingly on her window.

At the time, Lily didn't know it, but this was the letter that would change her life and the life of others for years and years to come. This was the letter that unknowingly changed fates and destinies for generations. It was the letter that made her. It was the letter that broke her. Her destiny was sitting right in front of her.

"This is it!" she squealed out loud, heart beginning to pound mercilessly. She ripped opened the letter eagerly, and gingerly removed the pieces of parchment. Gasping in delight, she flipped to the second page, and saw all her school materials lined out for her. "It's finally happening!"

"What is it, Lily dear?" Mrs. Evan asked, coming up to her daughter. Her red hair, so similar to that of Lily's, dropped lazily over her face. "What's that?" She pointed to the letter.

Lily handed her mother the letter. Mrs. Evans read the letter, her eyes widening slowly in shock.

There was an awkward silence as Lily stared at her mother and her mother stared at the letter. Lily had just realized that she had never told her mother what Severus had told her.

"Unbelievable," Mrs. Evans muttered, breathing heavily.

Lily didn't know why her mother was acting this strange, when she wasn't supposed to know anything about Hogwarts. "Mum?" Lily asked meekly, ignoring the mutters.

Mrs. Evans seemed to snap out of a daydream. She turned to look at her daughter. "Yes, dear?"

Before Lily could ask if her mother was alright, there was a sharp knock on the door. Mrs. Evans frowned, approached the front door, and opened it. On the porch was a stately-looking witch dressed in clean, emerald robes, a piece of paper held loftily in her hands. Her spectacles were placed neatly on the bridge of her nose. "Good morning," she said. "I come from the Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I am Minerva McGonagall, Hogwarts' transfiguration teacher. Is this - " she paused to check her paper. "Lily Evans' residence?"

"Yes," Lily said breathlessly, peering out from behind her mother. This must be the staff member sent to inform her parents because she was muggle-born.

"Will you come in?" Mrs. Evans asked, staring.

"Thank you," McGonagall said, stepping into the house and closing the door behind her.

"Um...would you like to sit down?" Mrs. Evans asked, gesturing toward the living room.

"This will only take a minute," McGonagall said. "I take it you received the letter?"

Mrs. Evans looked down at her hand. "I - oh yes," she said.

Just then, two figures appeared in the entrance hall. "What's going on?" Mr. Evans asked. Petunia was trotting behind him, eyes bulging. Lily turned quickly away from her sister.

"As I was informing Mrs. Evans and Lily here, Lily is a certified witch. She has magical blood in her," McGonagall said without smiling. "I am here to assure you that the letter is not a hoax. Hogwarts is the best magical school in Britain, if I do say so myself, and your daughter has a place there."

She paused for a moment. Petunia turned paler, and her eyebrows ascended further and further to her hairline.

"Of course, Ms. Evans is not obligated to attend. It is up to you -" she gestured to Mr. Evans and Mrs. Evans, who were both staring, " - as guardians to decide. We expect to hear a reply by owl as soon as possible. Use the one that was used to deliver your letter; it will know where to go."

The silence was deafening.

Professor McGonagall seemed unperturbed. "Any questions?" she asked briskly.

"So this _is_ real," Lily said in an awed whisper. Severus was right, and she had believed him, but now that everything was right in front of her..

"Yes, it is," McGonagall said, lips becoming less thin. "Now, if there is no further questions, I must leave. I have a couple more households to visit." She looked at them all for another moment. "Nothing?"

"W-Will she be safe there?" Mr. Evans spoke up anxiously.

For the first time, Professor McGonagall almost smiled. "I believe she will be, yes," she said. "Good day to you all." With a swish of her cloak, she opened the door, stepped outside, and vanished from sight.

Lily closed the door, deep in thought, as many feelings shot through her. Part of her was immediately extremely worried. If she went to this Hogwarts, she would be leaving her own world and entering the world of magic, a world her family didn't know about. Lily didn't show it, but she had insecurities. Would she make new friends, would she like this Hogwarts? She had Severus, but she couldn't always depend on one person. And was she willing to give up everything that she had known these past eleven years of her life for something so...foreign?

Yet another part of her was incredibly excited, pushing out all the nervous feelings. She would be learning magic! She could already envision herself with her wand in hand, performing a myriad of spells to help everyone. She wanted to go...she wanted to go so badly. She needed something new. She needed time away from her predictable life. She couldn't go around school anymore, facing the same math challenges and the same bleak future. She needed hope that she would _become_ something. And maybe...just maybe...Hogwarts could give her that.

"So," Mrs. Evans asked carefully. "It's up to you."

"What is?" Lily asked, still in awe.

"It's your decision on whether you want to go or not. Your father and I will support your decision, no matter what you do. We'll always behind you, a hundred percent."

Lily paused for a moment. She looked back at her letter, then at her mother. A slow grin made its way across her face, and she nodded at her mother. "Yes, I do want to go."

Her mother smiled at her. "Your choice."

"You're just going to let her go?" Petunia spoke up for the first time, voice quivering. "You're just going to...let her leave, with these weird people?" She raised her head and looked Lily in the eyes. There was no joy in them, no happiness, no nothing. They showed no emotion. They were blank.

"Honey, it's Lily's choice," Mr. Evans said, almost placatingly.

"Petunia?" Lily said meekly. She was confused. "I want to go. You already know, Severus -"

"Severus!" she shrieked, making everyone jump. "You want to be what he is? Dressing in smocks, grease in his hair..." She drew herself up to her full height. "I am_ glad_ that I'm not what you two are."

There was a deadly silence.

"No, Tuney," Lily said hollowly, clearly hurt. She tried to defend Snape, but nothing came out.

"DON'T COME NEAR ME!" Petunia shrieked, pointing at Lily. "DON'T YOU DARE COME NEAR ME!"

"That's enough," Mrs. Evans said, voice raised.

"NO!" Petunia screamed. "GO TO YOUR...SCHOOL! GO! AND I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"

Lily bit her lip. Trembling, she opened her mouth again, but before she could say anything, Petunia spun around. With one last vindictive look at Lily, she stomped up the stairs loudly. Every step that she took seemed to stab Lily once in the heart. Lily heard a door slam loudly on the second floor, shaking the entire house.

The echoing silence grew louder.

"Lily," Mrs. Evans started, watching Lily with concerned eyes. "Are you alright?"

Lily looked around to her mother, her green eyed shining with tears. "No," she whispered. Blinking back the urge to cry with all the self-restraint she had left, she too ran up the stairs, her red hair billowing behind her. Mrs. Evans heard a second door slam.

Mrs. Evans gazed at her husband helplessly.

"They'll be okay," he whispered, trying to assure as much her as himself.

Lily staggered to her bed, unable to see straight. She had wanted her sister to be happy for her, and Petunia wasn't. Deep down in her heart Lily knew that she wouldn't have been. Slumping down on her bed, she finally let out the flowing tears. The hot liquid ran down her face, blurring her vision, but she didn't need to see. She was miserable. Lily cried and cried for what seemed like forever. Her blurry eyes traveled to the open window. The sunlight was streaming in, bright and warm. She had opened the door in the morning, gotten the mail and had seen the beaming sun. She had thought that this was to be a good day, a different day, and she was horribly wrong. Even though it was still bright outside, her world was now marred by a thick cloud of complete darkness.

What she envisioned wasn't this...Severus had painted a grandiose image in her head, where everyone was happy and excited. She didn't think she would be losing her sister.

She finally stood up, still sobbing. Her legs wobbled unsteadily. If her own sister wouldn't accept her in her own home, there was nothing to lose by going to Hogwarts. She had nothing to lose, not anymore.

She would make new friends. She would do well in her classes. She would make her parents proud of her, proud of her for making something of her life. As for Petunia, she would come around. Lily knew she would. And if she didn't, Lily thought, I could always magic some sense into her, once I learned enough.

Her emerald eyes gazed at the fireplace, lost. She didn't want to go, or did she? Lily shook her head impatiently, mad at herself. Of course she was going. This was real. This was real life. This gave her a chance to do things she would have never imagined possible. She didn't want to be an accountant or a housewife like her parents were. She wanted something better, much more ambitious.

Grabbing a piece of paper shakily from her desk, Lily wrote a letter asking questions and asking for instructions on how to get the school materials. She breathed heavily, willing herself not to start crying again. Her pen shook in her hands, making her usually neat writing a bit wobbly. But still, she was determined. No regrets. Finally satisfied, she folded the piece of paper up and stuck it in an envelope.

The owl from downstairs had flown up and out. It was now perched on her windowsill. Tying the letter to the owl to the best of her ability, Lily watched as the owl took of and soared out the window, wings spread wide open into the beaming afternoon sun.


	2. It Begins

_September, 1971_

* * *

It Begins

James Potter smiled, pushed up his glasses, and stepped closer to his parents to give them a farewell hug. Sitting right behind him with steam blowing was the Hogwarts Express. James had never been this excited. He was finally going to Hogwarts! After all, it was all his parents talked about for the past few months of his life, ever since he got his letter.

His world felt surreal. His parents had been watching him for signs of magical power ever since he was born, and James demonstrated it not only once, but many times. His parents had been awed; they didn't know at the time how his fate determined the lives of so many others.

But on that day, the first day he stepped onto that platform, all James wanted was to make new friends and live at the castle. He wanted to be in the vicinity of one of the greatest wizards of all time, Albus Dumbledore. He wanted to embark on a new adventure. Yes, an adventure was just what James Potter needed. Maybe a bit of mischief mixed in wouldn't hurt either. He was going to enjoy Hogwarts. How could he not? Granted, he would miss his family, but he knew they would always be there for him.

"Now, send us an owl if you forgot anything," Mrs. Potter said, teary-eyed, as she released him. "Oh, and don't forget to change your underwear every night."

"Mum!" James groaned. "I know, I know. I'll be fine."

"Do well in your classes!"

"I know."

"Be a good student and don't get into trouble!"

"Mum! I know!"

"Oh goodness, your hair never does lie flat, does it?"

"No, mum, and you should know that having spent eleven years with me."

"Remember what Mr. Ollivander said, you wand is great for Transfiguration!"

"Yes, mum."

"I packed some extra galleons in your suitcase in case you need it!"

"Really? Thanks mum!"

"Heda will make you any food you like, don't forget!"

"I'm sure they have good food at Hogwarts, nice and nutritional, mum."

"_Always_ change your underwear! I mean it!"

"Aw, geez, mum!"

"Send us frequent owls!"

"Mum, if you don't stop talking, I may never even _get_ to Hogwarts!"

"Come on, honey. Let him go. Take care, James," Mr. Potter said, smiling encouragingly at his son. He clapped James on his back and James, smiling broadly, took his luggage and boarded the Hogwarts Express. His new robes swished behind him, and his new wand almost glistened. His trunk had his name engraved into it.

Before turning into the corridor to find a compartment, he looked out the open door once more to his parents. They waved at him, tears welling in their eyes, and he waved back, matching their tears.

* * *

"Remember, boy, You're a Black. First and foremost."

Sirius looked at his mother darkly, trying not to kick her. He hated them. He knew he hated them. They knew he hated them. And yet they were still on the Platform to say goodbye. Sirius knew why. It wasn't because they loved him. It was because they wanted to uphold the family name. Black. Sirius liked his last name less and less every day. Soon he would despise it more than Kreacher, their strange and insane house-elf.

"Yes mother," he said grudgingly.

His brother sneered at him.

Sirius would learn some good hexes to use on his family. He would make sure of that.

He was very excited at the prospect of going to Hogwarts. He actually jumped up and cheered when he heard of his letter, something he would never do under normal circumstances. It would mean time away from home, time away from his Dark-Arts infested parents and time away from everything that he hated so dearly. It would mean freedom. It would mean freedom make his own choices.

Ever since he walked through the solid wall to get on to the platform, all he wanted to to was get away from them. But no, they wouldn't let him go without having a little...talk, first.

Of course, there were some downsides to Hogwarts. His relatives, with the exception of Uncle Alphard and Andromeda, his favorite cousin, were constantly sneering "Slytherin, or else" in his ear. That was what his parents wanted, but he didn't care what they wanted. He wanted to give them nothing.

"Don't you dare go making friends with the filthy half-blood and mudbloods," his father hissed in his ear.

Sirius tried to look defiant.

"I have made arrangements," Mrs. Black sneered. "Dear Narcissa and Bellatrix shall be looking out for you this year. If there is any trouble, know that it shall be directly reported to us."

_Great,_ Sirius thought. _In addition to the stupid sorting I'm going to have two stupid girls to 'look out' for me._

"You are a Black. Blood traitors and anyone not of wizard lineage is not worthy. We are pure. They are dirt and scum. Go."

Sirius refrained from rolling his yes with difficulty. Honestly, being a Black did not make him royal, and if this life was a life of being royal, he'd rather have a life on the streets.

"Slytherin," his mother sneered at him as he turned for one last look, "or else."

No hugs. No good words. All he got was a threat. Empty as it was, as he looked around the platform with all the families, the loving families who cared, he couldn't help wanting to take the threat. He didn't care. He didn't care about pleasing them, only himself. He didn't give a damn about his so-called family, and he was sure that they didn't give a damn about him either.

Sirius would have loved to say, "or else what?" But refrained from doing so. His mind was too frazzled with their dark looks. He stared them straight in the eyes. With one last disgusted look at his mother, father, and stupid kid brother Regulus, he turned on his heels and stalked straight onto the Hogwarts Express.

He could not wait to get to the castle.

* * *

"Baby, you're going to have a great time at Hogwarts."

Remus Lupin looked up into the encouraging face of his mother. He smiled at her. Mrs. Lupin looked worried. Remus was so fragile looking compared to the rest. There was a big gash in his arm. Of course, him being a werewolf might have had something to do with it.

He remembered it like it was yesterday, the night that changed his life. He had been playing out in the woods. He had loved the woods, as it was a part of his home, and often went exploring. On that particular night, the moon was round and bright, glowing like a firefly in the dark. His mother and father had called for him to come in, but he was stubborn he wanted a couple more minutes. Just a couple more minutes. As he finally went toward the house, he had heard a menacing growl behind him. He had turned and looked into the sneering, blood-thirsty face of a fully grown werewolf, and had felt an extremely painful sensation on his arm as he tried to run far away.

He had heard himself scream, then all went dark.

The next morning he had woken up to find himself in St. Mungo's with a white cast. When he learned what had happened, he blamed himself. If only he had come in when his parents told him to...

Remus himself was worried now, standing on the platform a quarter to eleven. He was told in his letter to find Professor McGonagall in Dumbledore's office right after the sorting and the feast to discuss his… conditions. He felt grateful for them. He knew that his parents were so worried he wasn't going to get into Hogwarts. But he was going. He was going.

"I sure hope so."

Remus turned his head and looked at his father. He, too, smiled at Remus. "You're going to be great. Remember, make sure nobody except the teachers know about your condition. We really want you to go to school and take your education seriously."

Remus smiled back. He was extremely excited, but he was a nervous wreck. Of course he wasn't planning on telling anyone his condition. He had never gotten close enough to anyone. He was scared. He was scared that once they knew, they would abandon him. He could never live with himself if that happened.

"Don't worry about me," he said to his parents. "I'll take care of myself."

His mum looked close to tears. Remus smiled at her. He knew she was worried about him not being able to take care of himself. Usually, Remus had a family member talk to him outside the barred doors while he transformed. No one would do that for him at Hogwarts. He was alone.

And yet he wasn't scared. He had been learning to take care of himself for years.

Remus stepped onto the train, nervous. he knew he was one of the last on the train, and knew he would have some difficulty finding a compartment. As he walked down the corridors, he realized that almost all of them were full with people. Near the very back, he managed to find a compartment that was empty. He set his luggage down, and looked out the window, to where his parents were still standing, waving at him. Remus gave them one last look. Just one look, just that one look, was all he needed. It was all he needed to wash his doubts away. His parents standing there, giving him all their love and support, was all the reason he wanted to live, to make them proud of their son.

* * *

Peter Pettigrew turned and looked at his mom. Mrs. Pettigrew smiled back. They were silent, but silent without being awkward. They knew what each was thinking. Peter knew that his mom was very proud of him, proud that her son had gotten into Hogwarts, after showing nearly no signs of magic for years and years.

He knew that his father was less than impressed. Mr. Pettigrew always thought Durmstrang had the right idea. Peter's father was into the Dark Arts, though not as much since he married Peter's mother. He loved her. It was odd and he never dared to show it, but he did.

Mrs. Pettigrew looked intently at her son. She knew he was scared. Peter was not one to run in the limelight. He was always one to follow the crowd. She knew he was loyal. But he wasn't strong. She was worried about his classes, and him making new friends. She was worried about him in general.

"Bye, mum," Peter said softly, drifting away from her. She was all he had. His father didn't like him. He knew he would have to try and make her proud. He had to. There was nothing for it.

"Bye, Peter," Mrs. Pettigrew said, just as softly.

Peter dragged his luggage up the train stairs. He knew his mother would be waiting for him to return at Christmas. The sooner he got on the train, the sooner he would be able to see her again. He waved one last time, then continued down the halls to find a compartment.

* * *

"Are you sure this is the place, mum?" Lily asked nervously.

"Positive, dear," Mrs. Evans said, smiling at her daughter. "We've checked the map eleven times already."

"I know," Lily said sheepishly. "I just wanted to be sure."

Mr. Evans parked the car, and helped Lily drag her suitcase onto the train station. Petunia was sitting in the back seat of their car, looking extremely sulky. She didn't want to come see Lily off, but Mr. Evans had made her come. Lily determinedly looked away from her sister.

"Got your ticket?" Mrs. Evans asked.

Lily nodded. It was clutched tightly in her hand. She didn't want to look at it right now.

"Alright then," Mrs. Evans said cheerfully. "Come on Petunia, out of the car. It's time to go!"

Petunia shot her an angry look but grudgingly got out of the car, slamming the door shut once she was out.

"Alright, follow me," Lily breathed as she walked into the station. As she arrived at platform one, Lily looked at her ticket for the first time. Her brows furrowed. "What?" she said aloud. "Nine and Three-Quarters? Does that even exist?"

Trying to shake off a terrible feeling of disappointment that this might just be a hoax, Lily dragged her luggage down the platforms of the station... platform Seven...platform Eight...platform Nine...platform Ten. Lily looked to the stations, surprised. Where on earth was platform Nine and Three-Quarters? "You all wait here," she instructed her parents, who were still trying to pry Petunia out of the car.

She looked at her ticket again to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. "Aw geez," she said angrily, stamping her foot. "Great, this stupid platform doesn't even exist!" Her hair whipped behind her as she looked around for Severus...he would know how to get on...but she couldn't find him anywhere.

Still with a glimmer of hope left, Lily went to the nearest worker there. "Excuse me, sir," she said.

"Oh, hello," the worker said, smiling at her. "Do you need something?"

"I was just wondering if you could tell me where Platform Nine and Three-Quarters was," Lily breathed.

He stared at her. "Nine and Three-Quarters," he repeated.

"Yes."

He began to laugh heartily, and Lily furiously glared at him. "This is not a joke, sir! I am completely serious!"

The worker just kept on laughing, and laughed so hard that he clutched his stomach and had to lean against the wall for support. "Nine and Three-Quarters," he gasped in laughter. "Hilarious!"

Fed up, Lily stormed away, her trunk rattling after her. "Jerk," she muttered under her breath.

Though only eleven, people had always told Lily that she was temperamental, stubborn, but strong-willed. Now, she felt that break down. She didn't have any muggle money left with her, there was no one she knew around to help her, her sister hated her, and she was going to miss her train. Lily didn't feel like trying anymore. She sat down and leaned against her suitcase, trying not to cry. She couldn't face her parents...all this had seemed so real! And where was Severus? He promised he would show her around!

Suddenly, she felt a tap on her shoulder. Lily turned around and saw a dark-haired, brown-eyed girl smiling down at her. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Not really," Lily said, trying not to sound too grumpy. "I can't find the platform I'm supposed to be on."

"Is _that_ it?" the girl said. "Maybe I can help."

"I don't think you can," Lily said apologetically.

"Come on, let's see," the girl said, smiling. "What have you got to lose?"

Lily paused, then handed the girl her ticket. The girl surveyed it, and her eyes widened in surprise. "You're a witch too!" she whispered excitedly.

At those words, Lily jumped up, all sadness forgotten. "Are you serious? You're a witch?"

"Yep," the girl nodded proudly. "And by the ticket, you are too!"

"So this Hogwarts...we're really going?"

"Heavens yes!" the girl laughed. "It's the most famous wizarding school...ever! My dad went there! Come on, I'll show you where the platform is."

"Okay, hold on a minute," Lily said. "Mum! Dad! Tuney! Over here!" She beckoned to her family and didn't look at Petunia. They came over, looking at the dark-haired girl apprehensively.

"Right," the girl said, unperturbed, as the group arrived at the wall between platforms Nine and Ten. "All you have to do is head straight for that wall. Don't stop, and don't be nervous. You'll pass straight through. My father did this many, many times as a kid. Don't you dare worry."

"Are you sure about this?" Mr. Evans cut in.

Instead of looking offended, like Lily expected, the girl laughed. "I take it you're muggle-born?" she asked Lily.

"Yes," Lily said tentatively.

"Trust me, sir," the girl smiled. "I'm dead sure. She's not going to crash."

"Okay," Lily said nervously, looking back at her parents. "Here goes nothing." She closed her eyes, positioned her trunk, and ran straight toward the wall. She hoped with every fiber of her body that she wouldn't break a bone from doing this, if it was all a dream...but she never felt anything. She opened her eyes... and there it was. The Hogwarts Express, in all its gleaming glory. Her jaw dropped to the floor.

"Amazing, isn't it?" the girl beamed from behind her.

"Very," Lily said, still in awe.

"If your parents trust me, they'll be through in a minute," the girl laughed.

"Yes, thank you so much!" Lily said earnestly.

"Glad to be of help," the girl responded, doing a little mock bow. "I suppose I'll see you at Hogwarts, then?"

"Of course," Lily smiled. "Oh, wait, I didn't catch your name...?"

"I'm Marcella Greenwald," the girl said, smiling. "You are?"

"Lily Evans."

"It was very nice to meet you, Lily Evans," Marcella said, eyes sparkling. Lily watched as she walked away down the platform.

Excited again, Lily turned around to face the wall again and saw Petunia come through, eyes narrowed, and her parents trotting along, awed. Behind them, she saw Snape, along with a woman she immediately assumed to be his mother. "Sev!" Lily said, laughing, and ran up to hug him. "Oh, I can't believe it, we're finally here!"

"Yeah," Snape said, looking a bit dazed as she let go of him. "So you found the platform okay?"

"A girl named Marcella helped," Lily grinned. "I'm so excited, Sev!"

"Me too," Snape said as he teetered on his feet a bit. "So...d'you want to get on the train?"

"Hold on a minute, I'll go say goodbye to my parents," Lily said. She walked toward her family. Her mother and father were apparently entranced by the platform, but Petunia stood there, looking sulky. She glared at Lily as Lily pushed her trunk toward them.

Snape watched at a distance, tuning out everything his mother was saying to him, staring at Lily conversing with Petunia. Something seemed to be wrong with them; Lily was looking defensive, then she half-glanced at him. Petunia was looking thunderstruck, and finally screamed something at Lily, and walked away, her parents following her, half-waving goodbye to Lily and trying to calm Petunia down.

Lily was so angry distracted that she forgot to go back for Snape. With one hand on her trunk, she angrily flung it up onto the nearest open train door, shoved it inside, and proceeded to climb onto the train, her body shaking slightly. Within a moment, Snape watched her disappear.

"Bye," he muttered to his mother, and watched her disappear through the brick. Then, with one hand on his dirty, small black trunk, he ran to the door Lily had gone through, pushed his trunk up, and proceeded onto the train.


	3. Potter and Black

_September, 1971_

* * *

Potter and Black

Sirius was one of the first people on the train, with good reason. He wanted to get as far away as possible from his overbearing, nauseating parents as possible. He found a compartment near the back. It wasn't that hard. There weren't even ten people on the train yet, and he was thankful. He didn't want to have to share a compartment with some strangers.

Sirius stowed his luggage in the rack and sat down, taking out his wand and a wizard chessboard. The wand was there in case Bellatrix and Narcissa tried to stop by. Those stupid cousins of his... He was having a fun time playing with himself when he heard a knock at his compartment door. Sirius opened it reluctantly, and found himself face-to-face with a scrawny black-haired boy wearing thick glasses. This boy was smiling widely at him, twiddling his wand in between his fingers. Sirius tried hard not to snicker. What a weirdo.

"Can I sit here?" the boy asked. "Everywhere else is full."

_I__ highly doubt that_, Sirius thought to himself. He grunted. The boy took that as a yes. He stowed his luggage also, and sat down next to Sirius.

"My name's James Potter," the boy introduced.

Sirius grunted again, this time in amazement. This Potter boy was actually hoping to talk to him? Ha, what a laugh. Sirius ignored him and went back to playing wizard's chess by himself.

James stuck out his hand. Sirius glanced at it, but didn't take it. James shrugged and lowered it.

"I'm a first year, going into Hogwarts." James was hoping for a conversation. This character playing chess looked like a very interesting person. James saw many people on the train already, with that bloodthirsty look on their faces. A lot of first years needed friends badly. They were willing to take anyone who will have them. James got invited into many different compartments, but he didn't want any of them. He wanted a challenge. He wanted this guy, who didn't need any friends.

Sirius grunted again, trying to ignore the Potter boy. He was seriously beginning to think he would turn into a pig by the end of the train ride.

"What's your name?"

Sirius clenched his teeth. Couldn't he just shut up? "Sirius Black."

"Hello, Sirius."

Sirius grunted again.

"You know, I'm getting the impression that you don't really want to talk to me," James said jokingly.

_Damn right I don't want to talk to you_, thought Sirius darkly. He went on to destroy his other self's knight, seemingly absorbed in the game.

He didn't look up.

James was looking surprised. He had never met anyone this closed. He decided to try a new tactic. "I love wizard's chess. Can I play? You're playing by yourself."

"No," Sirius snapped bluntly.

"Are you sure? I'm really not that bad."

_Give it up!_ Sirius wanted to shout. _I don't need any bloody friends. _He didn't. He remained silent.

"One game," James persisted.

"Buzz off," Sirius said, not even looking at James. His curtain of dark hair fell around his face as he pretended to concentrate on his invisible opponent.

James looked a little taken aback. "Fine," he replied. He settled for leaning back on the compartment seat, twiddling his wand in between his various fingers.

Just then, a little boy who looked about seven passed their compartment. Of course he was much older than seven, but he was small. Petite, even, if you could use that description on boys. James smiled devilishly and brandished his new, shiny wand. He opened the compartment door to reveal a sizeable crack. Then, he stuck his wand through the crack.

Sirius was trying hard not to notice the sudden movements, but curiosity got the better of him. He turned towards James, temporarily abondoning his chess game.

James muttered a jinx as the little boy as he walked by. The boy wasn't paying attention. All of a sudden, he started dancing ballet uncontrollably, and was yelling for help. Many heads peered out the compartment windows, and in seeing the little boy dance, laughed at him. James and Sirius were also laughing uncontrollably, hands on stomachs and rolling around. Finally, a seventh year prefect put on the counterjinx. The boy, now beet red from the exercise and the embarrassment combined, ran down the train to the bathrooms. Sirius and James were still in the compartment, having the time of their lives.

"Where did you learn that?" asked Sirius, forgetting to be sulky and moody. "That was bloody brilliant!" He found himself grinning widely. Maybe he had just met someone he could have fun with. Prank with.

"I got it from this book of jinxes my dad gave me. Best present ever!" James replied, enthusiastic that Sirius was finally talking to him without snapping.

"No kidding," Sirius said, and they both laughed heartily. For the first time, he really looked at the boy sitting beside him. James was skinny, very skinny, with jet-black hair that stuck up in odd angles. His thick glasses did not manage to obscure his shining hazel eyes that were filled with a look of both pure excitement and mischief.

"That was the first time I tried out a hex. I can't believe it worked!" James again brandished his wand. Sirius was awed by how shiny it was, and thought guiltily of his own wand, which was smudged with fingerprints.

"You'll have to teach me that," Sirius said between gasps of laughter. He smiled at James. Maybe this Potter boy wasn't so bad after all.

"No problem," said James. "Can we start over? Hi. My name is James Potter."

He stuck out his hand again. This time, Sirius took it.

"Hi, James Potter. Nice to meet you. Fancy a game of Wizard's Chess?"

James laughed. At that moment, the compartment door burst open, and all James saw was a red-headed blur streak past Sirius and himself. She didn't say a word, but stared out of the window after slamming her trunk down beside her. James could hear her crying softly.

"Blimey, what's wrong with her?" James whispered, frowning.

Sirius shrugged.

A second person then burst into the compartment, a slight, greasy-haired boy. The red-headed girl finally looked up, then faced the window again. Snape pushed his way past Sirius and James, and sat down opposite Lily.

"You know, I really wasn't expecting a party in here," James muttered quietly to Sirius.

Sirius snorted. "Whatever," he said. "That git over there looks like he hasn't washed his hair in a year, and it's not worth kicking someone out that attracts flies."

James sniggered.

The two boys played a heated game of chess until the greasy-haired boy said "Slytherin", which made James look up, and Sirius lounge back in his seat.

"Who wants to be in Slytherin?" James scoffed to Sirius. "I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?"

Sirius was reminded of his mother on the platform, and twitched a bit. "My whole family have been in Slytherin."

James looked surprised. "Blimey, and I thought you seemed alright!"

Sirius grinned to himself. If he could piss off his family, all the better. "Maybe I'll break the tradition," he said nonchalantly. "Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?"

Without hesitation, James lifted an invisible sword and almost knocked the chess pieces over. "Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart! Like my dad."

Snape glanced at Lily, and rolled his eyes, making a noise of disbelief. Lily let out a small smile.

"Got a problem with that?" James said, making Snape jerk his attention back to him.

"No," sneered Snape. "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy -"

Sirius' eyes narrowed; he was liking the greasy-haired boy less and less. "Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?" he cut in.

James laughed as Lily got up, cheeks flushed. "Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment," she said, glaring at James and Sirius, who watched as she grabbed her trunk and stormed out of the compartment. Sirius snorted in laughter at the sight of her red hair flying behind her. Snape flapped after her, and as he passed, James tried to trip him. "Lily, wait up!" he called, catching himself.

Sirius gave Snape an unfriendly push out of the compartment. "See ya, Snivellus!" he called gleefully, and slammed the door.

James roared with laughter. "That was brilliant," he told Sirius, almost in tears. "Snivellus..."

"The look on his face," Sirius guffawed.

The two boys looked at each other with newfound respect. "Another round of chess," James said. "I'll let you redeem yourself, I won that last one."

"Sure," snorted Sirius.

* * *

Through the train ride, James and Sirius talked and talked while playing chess. It was very apparent that the two boys were both competitive. If James won, Sirius asked for a rematch. James would willingly oblige. Competitiveness, as they found out, only made they better. They were friendly competitors, never bitter. They were almost friends.

"Do you like Quidditch?" asked James conversationally.

"Love it. But I can't play to save my life. I love to watch, though," Sirius added.

"Really? I really love Quidditch. I want to play for my house team. I have the newest model out, the new Cleansweep. It flies great! I'm mad that they won't let us try out until second year, though. I really want to play."

Sirius laughed appreciatively at this. James went on a rant about how stupid they were not to let first years play. Sirius laughed some more. James ended with, "who do they think they are?"

"Well, I'll be cheering you on, Potter."

They watched as Sirius's pawn destroyed James's knight.

"I'm a first year," James offered randomly.

Sirius let out a laugh, a bark-like laugh that surprised James in someway. "Well I kinda could have guessed that for myself. Why else would you choose to sit with me?

"Point taken," James said, smiling.

"Hey," Sirius laughed, trying to look offended. He failed miserably. "Besides, you already told me that you were a first year," he added. "About the first couple of minutes that you chose to barge in on my compartment."

"I was under the impression that you were trying to ignore me," James grinned.

"I was, but I still listen, oddly enough."

James laughed. "That is rather odd."

"Well, I was trying to ignore you, but you wouldn't shut up."

James grinned. "Too bad, eh?"

They both laughed.

There was a sharp knock at the compartment door. James threw ithe door open to reveal a plump, middle-aged witch pushing a cart filled with scrumptious-looking food. Piles of chocolate frogs, cauldron cakes and licorice wands were heaped onto the cart. Boxes of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans were loaded onto the cart as well. Sirius started to drool at the sight of it, jaw dropping.

"Anything off the cart, dears?" the witch asked cheerfully.

James looked at Sirius. "Hungry?"

Sirius shrugged. "Kind of, but I didn't bring any money." Like he would ask his parents for food money. They'd love to see him starve. He looked longingly at the cart of food.

As if on cue, Sirius's stomach grumbled.

James stood up. "Well I'm starving."

He walked over to the luggage rack and opened his suitcase. He stuck his hand in it and took out a handful of glittering Galleons. He set them on the seats, then reached in and took out even more Galleons. Sirius felt his jaw drop even further. Did this Potter boy gave an endless pit of money or something?

"We'll take everything," James said to the lady, still pulling Galleons out of his trunk.

She looked surprised, but obliged. The heaps of food somehow found their way onto the seats of the compartment, almost drowning Sirius where he sat. James shoved the coins into the lady's hands, shut the compartment door carefully and sat down in what little empty space there was left, grinning. Sirius could see the cart lady make her way back up to the front of the train, apparently for a refill, since her cart was now mournfully empty.

Sirius stared at the food, then stared at James.

"Well?" James said, smiling. "Go on, eat! They cost me a fortune. Literally."

Sirius smiled back, elated. James was willing to share, with him? A Black?

"Eat," James said. "Or I swear I'll make you."

Sirius laughed. "Empty threat, Potter. But all the same, thanks." With that, he dug in to the nearest Chocolate Frog.

They had plenty of fun digging through all the food. James confessed that he had probably the biggest collection of chocolate frog cards ever.

"I'm missing one, just one. It's a new one that just came out. Andros the Invincible. It's supposed to be really rare, and I hope that in this stash somewhere there is one," James said enthusiatically.

Sirius laughed. "Well, lucky you. I've never collected these cards."

James looked shocked. "What? Well then, you're starting today."

"Why?"

James shrugged. "You need a hobby. Something to collect. I'll help you eat the chocolate."

"Okay," Sirius agreed. "And I'll help you look for Andros."

"Thanks," James grinned.

They broke their way through all the cards, which took a long time as they were piled nearly to the ceiling. Box after box was broken open. The chocolate melted in Sirius's mouth, and he marveled at how good it tasted. Heck, his family hadn't given him chocolate in what must have been ten years. James was disappointed when they couldn't find Andros after searching through all the cards, but was smiling all the same. Sirius soon had accumulated a collection that took others years to collect.

"These are really cool!" Sirius said, fascinated.

James grinned. "I knew you'd get hooked."

Sirius stared at a picture of Albus Dumbledore on a card. Albus Dumbledore, sworn enemy to the pure-blood manics that lived in his home. But even though Sirius didn't know Dumbledore yet, he was already beginning to like the wise old wizard much better than his family. Dumbledore looked...cheerful. His family looked like idiots.

James and Sirius ate and ate until they both felt bloated. They then crammed the rest of the food into James's suitcase. It barely fit. Sirius then challenged James to a game of chess, still bitter about James's last victory in which James tricked Sirius into making the wrong move.

"What classes are you looking forward to the most?" James asked, making the first move with his knight.

Sirius thought for a moment. "I'd say Defense Against the Dark Arts. It sounds mortally interesting. I hear from my cousins that they've never had a teacher last for more than three terms. It's almost ominous, in a weird sort of way." He smashed James's knight with a strategically placed move.

"So then the job is jinxed?"

Sirius shrugged. "Seems like it. It's kind of cool, though."

James moved his remaining knight who promptly shattered Sirius's bishop. "That's exactly what makes life a hell of a lot of fun."

Sirius grinned in appreciation. "Exactly."

They played on silently for a while longer, with occasional cheers from either one of them.

"So what are your parent like?" James asked conversationally.

"Evil," replied Sirius promptly.

"Why?"

Sirius sighed. "I don't know. Well, I mean, I do. They're so into the dark arts is scary. They want me to become one of their clones." Sirius gave out a harsh laugh. "No chance. I would never live with myself if I turned out like them.

"Wow," James said, eyes wide open.

"That's why I want to learn Defense Against the Darks Arts, and not the dark arts," Sirius continued. "They want purity of blood, which means mudbloods and half-magic people dead."

James looked surprised. Sirius caught his look. "What?" He asked.

"You said mudbloods," James replied.

"So? Everyone uses it," Sirius said indifferently.

"Not really. It's a really foul word, Sirius, you shouldn't use it."

Sirius took this information in. No wonder everyone in his family said it. They were foul people themselves. "Alright, I promise I'll never say it again. You've turned me into a saint."

James laughed. He moved his pawn.

"So what house do you want to be in? I want Gryffindor myself, as I've already said… my dad was in that house. I mean, even Dumbledore was in that house."

"Gryffindor sounds pretty inviting," Sirius said thoughtfully. "But for me? Anything but Slytherin," Sirius said darkly. He had a fleeting memory of his mother hissing in his ear. "Even Hufflepuff would be better. Anything but Slytherin."

"Really? Do you hate Slytherin that much?"

"As I've said, all my family has been in it. I'm not like my family. I wish I could disown my last name."

James shrugged. "It's not really your last name that defines you, you know."

"To some people, it is," Sirius said quietly. He knew it was true. Whenever people heard the last name Black, they always categorize him with the likes of his mother and father.

"I can tell that you're different," James said, grinning. "You actually seem okay."

Sirius looked at him, surprised but pleased. "Thanks." At the moment, it was the best compliment he had ever recieved.

"So maybe you belong in Gryffindor then," James said, going back to the subject of the Sorting. "Your choice shows courage, and standing up to your family seems like courage to me."

Sirius smiled. "Maybe Gryffindor. We'll see." Secretly, he knew that his parents would kill him if he got sorted into anything but Slytherin, but he didn't care. He grinned to himself, imagining their faces if he indeed got sorted into Gryffindor.

James moved his queen, taking Sirius's pawn.

"Maybe we'll get into the same house," said James hopefully. "It would be great to have a friend in the same house."

Sirius frowned slightly. Potter threw around the word friend way too easily. It would be a long while before he himself would start to trust those around him. After all, he still had a little Black left in him, no matter how much he resented it. He looked at the chessboard carefully. "Checkmate," he said, surprised to find himself grinning.


	4. The Sorting

_September, 1970_

* * *

The Sorting

A fifth year prefect stopped by James and Sirius' compartment to tell them that they would soon be arriving at Hogwarts. It was announced soon after on the PA as well by an incredibly wheezy conductor.

"That was pointless," James said after the voice over the speakers stopped speaking.

Sirius sniggered.

They changed into their robes while finishing their last game of Wizard's Chess.

On the train ride, Sirius and James got to know each other pretty well. They laughed about random things and stupid things. Mostly stupid things. They talked about classes, Quidditch, and everything. Both were grinning as they changed into their robes. _Maybe, _ thought Sirius, _I could have an actual friend. One who's not into the Dark Arts._

The train slowed and slowed. James triumphantly put a checkmate on Sirius's king, causing Sirius to groan. "You owe me, Sirius," he said gleefully.

Sirius scowled good-naturedly. "Rematch, Potter." Then, Sirius packed the set up and stuffed it into his trunk.

The train rolled to a stop. James packed everything in his suitcase and walked toward the door of the train, leaving his stuff to the tender mercies of magic. He had heard from his parents that the luggage was taken separately to the castle. Stepping onto the Hogsmeade platform was heaven for James. At first sight, he knew that this is where he belonged. He breathed deeply, letting the magical air fill his lungs.

Sirius was beside him, laughing. "What's the matter, Potter, did the train suffocate you?"

James grinned back. "No, you do."

The darkening sky could not damper Sirius's mood. Finally, he was free. Now all he had left was the Sorting...and this was the part that he looked forward to the least.

"Firs' years, firs' years over here!" They heard a voice boom. James looked up to see the biggest man he had ever seen. Sirius had the same awed expression. A couple of first years went to hide behind a friend or sibling. James, however, smiled at the large man. He smiled back.

"My name's Hagrid. Rubeus Hagrid. C'mon, follow me to the boats." Sirius and James followed obligingly with the rest of their year. James thought he had lost Sirius among the crowd at one point. As he looked around, he saw red. Red hair. Red hair belonging to the prettiest girl he ever laid eyes on. She was walking along, laughing with a boy that James recognized as the one he had made fun of on the train, and with a jolt James realized that she was the one who had been crying. She turned around for one second and their eyes met breifly. Her beautiful green eyes amazed James. How did he not see her entire face in that compartment? James stood for a while, drool almost coming out of his mouth until Sirius tapped him on the shoulder and he returned to earth.

"What are you looking at?" he asked.

"Nothing," said James, avoiding Sirius's glance. Sirius raised an eyebrow, but refrained from saying anything else. By now, they had reach the shore. On the shore was a fleet of boats, arranged neatly in a line.

"No more'n four to a boat!" Hagrid yelled above the noise. "C'mon now!"

Sirius and James instantly grabbed an empty boat. Soon, they saw the same boy that they had jinxed on the train. He was looking nervous and couldn't find a boat. He walked over to Sirius and James. "Mind if I sit here?"

Sirius cast James an amused look. "Sure."

"Thanks," the boy breathed. He looked small. Wringing his hands, he climbed into the boat. "I'm Peter Pettigrew."

"Hey, Peter," nodded James. Sirius didn't even answer.

"No messin' aroun' now!" Hagrid yelled. "Come on! Four to a boat!"

A girl by the name of Lora Plemm soon joined Peter, James and Sirius. She was the last one off the train and had nowhere else to go. They boats started towards Hogwarts. The boat started moving slowly across the lake. All around, James could hear the other students chattering away. He himself turned to Sirius and talked excitedly about the arrival. The castle came clearly into view, so that gasps and shrieks of amazement were heard all over the lake as the beauty of the castle overtook them.

In a nearby boat, Lily was gazing at the castle, her green eyes shining. "Wow, this is incredible," Lily whispered to Snape, who gave her a small smile.

The first years arrived at the castle, dry but very cold. A stern looking woman wearing green robes met them at the doors to the castle.

"That's Professor McGonagall!" Lily whispered excitedly to Snape as they ascended the stairs. "She was the one that came to our house!"

"Thank you, Hagrid," McGonagall said. Hagrid nodded and left. "My name is Professor McGonagall. Now, when you pass through these doors you will be sorted into your houses. Do not be nervous. The hat knows best. Now each house is like your family. They are with you in lessons and in your dormitory. You will also be competing for the house cup. Your triumphs will earn you points. Any disregard for the rules will lose you points."

James and Sirius smiled at each other. Rules were made to be broken.

"That's about it. Please follow me," she said, and swung open the doors to the castle.

They walked through the doors to the great hall. All James could think of was WOW. He had never seen the night sky, or what looked like the night sky, from this close up. As he dragged his feet slowly along, he let the magic soak in. Sirius was looking at him with an amused expression on his face.

The group of first years arrived at the front of the great hall. All eyes were upon them, especially those at the high table. A small boy with sandy-colored hair was holding his arm to ease the pain of his gash as he walked with the rest of the first years. He gulped nervously, thinking of his condition and the meeting with Dumbledore after the sorting.

"So what do you reckon we have to do?" Sirius asked James from the corner of his mouth once the group had stopped.

James shrugged.

"What did you hear about it from your parents?"

James shrugged again. "My parents said to relax because the hat is never wrong, and it'll make the right choices."

Sirius raised an eyebrow skeptically. "We're going to be sorted by a hat?"

They looked at each other, realizing how odd it sounded, and cracked up.

"Let the Sorting begin!" McGonagall said, holding up a long list of names. Everyone in the Great Hall fell silent at once. Beside her was a stool, and on the stool sat a very worn-looking, grayish hat.

Sirius looked at the hat with a skeptical look on his face. Half the first years did the same.

The group waited. And waited. Suddenly, the Sorting Hat opened its mouth near the brim and began to sing.

I may not be the newest hat

For I was sewn long ago

I'm smarter than you think I am,

Though I'm really old

In a flash I can tell

What is right from wrong

So place me gently on your head

And I'll tell where you belong

You may belong in Ravenclaw

The witty and the wise

You may belong in Hufflepuff

Where loyalty and truth shines

Then, you may be in Slytherin,

Full of power and cunning

Or may you belong in Gryffindor

Ready to prove and do the daring

Put me on, don't be scared

Let your mind go to rest

For I'm forever the Sorting hat

And I always know what's best!

The halls burst into applause at the end of the song. The first years joined them in clapping, though most were talking excitedly about which house they would like to be in. All of them were staring at the hat, completely mesmerized. Then, the Sorting began.

The first years watched as a girl named Nora Angy got sorted into Hufflepuff. Sirius knew he would be up soon. Oh, he hated his name right now. Why couldn't it be Zymmer or something? They watched as a boy named David Allor got sorted into Ravenclaw. Sirius knew it would be soon, and clenched his jaw nervously. James shot him a sympathetic look. Peter mimicked the look on James's face.

_My God, not Slytherin_, Sirius thought repeatedly to himself. _Please, no._

"Black, Sirius." Sirius clenched his fist and walked determinedly up to the stool. The last thing he saw before the hat was placed over his head was his cousin Bellatrix shooting daggers at him from her eyes.

A small voice started to whisper in his head. "Ah, another Black. I know where your family all went."

Sirius gripped the stool tightly. He wouldn't do it. He couldn't be in Slytherin. He can't. "And yet," the hat whispered, "I see a courage, undoubtedly a courage to look past your last name and become what you really are." The hat paused. Sirius closed his eyes, praying with ever fiber of his body... "There's absolutely no doubt. GRYFFINDOR!"

Sirius looked elated as he flew down the steps to join his new house. He caught glimpse of Bellatrix. She was scowling, eyes narrowed. That made him even happier. He turned around to watch the rest of the sorting; he had missed a lot of people in his jubilation. The next was an obvious redhead that looked nervous but determined, and Sirius recognized her from the train. As Evans, Lily, put the sorting hat on her head, it shouted "GRYFFINDOR!" for everyone to hear. Sirius clapped along. When he turned to look at James, who was still waiting in line, he noticed that he was staring at Lily Evans. Sirius had to fight the impulse not to laugh as a little bit of drool came out of his buddy's mouth.

"Congrats," Sirius said as she sat down beside him.

Lily turned, surprised, to thank him, but then stopped short as she realized who he was. Then, her eyes narrowed and she turned haughtily away from him. She caught Snape's eye and smiled apologetically. Snape looked crushed as he half-waved at her.

At the Gryffindor bench , Lily waited anxiously as Greenwald, Marcella, was sorted. After a moment on the stool, she was sorted into Gryffindor as well. Lily heaved a sigh of relief, and cheered for her friend, who had helped her find the platform.

"Lily!" Marcella squealed as she sat down beside her. "Wow, we're in the same house, how cool is that?"

"I'm so glad to have a friend in my house," Lily beamed. "Oh, I do hope Severus gets in this house, but he said he was going to be in Slytherin..."

Sirius watched with one eyebrow raised as Lily pointed Snape out to Marcella.

"Lupin, Remus."

The teachers all turned and looked at this small, nervous-looking boy intently. The hat was placed on his head. Remus shook in his seat. He was so scared...maybe the hat wouldn't sort him because the hat knew the dangers he possessed...maybe he would get sent back home...

Then, a small voice started whispering inside his head. "Ah, you have it all. Courage. The will to fight on. Even after all you've been through, you've stayed strong." He hat paused. Remus sat nervously, eyes shut, fingers white. "Must be in GRYFFINDOR!"

Remus smiled broadly, whole body filled with relief, and went to join the rest of his house. He looked up at the high table and saw Dumbledore smiling at him. Instantly, he felt better. He sat down next to Lily Evans and introduced himself. "Hello, my name's Remus."

Lily smiled back, emerald eyes shining. "I'm Lily." They talked for a while, instantly becoming friends. He introduced himself to Marcella, and found her a nice girl. Then, Remus went to go introduce himself to some other people.

He sat down next to Sirius. "Hello, my name's Remus," he introduced. Unfortunately, Sirius was most definitely not Lily. He ignored Remus, and kept on watching the crowd of thinning first years. Remus turned to the line of first years also.

"Pettigrew, Peter," Professor McGonagall called.

Peter trudged nervously up to the stool and jumped as the hat was place on his head. "Ah. Loyalty," the hat whispered. "Lots of it. However, loyalty does not belong to one house…where should I put you?" The hat debated for what seemed like forever. Sirius was just about jump up from his seat and rip the hat off Peter's head when it yelled "GRYFFINDOR!"

Sirius sank back down in his seat, smiling slightly as Peter made his way towards him, beaming. Lora Plemm was soon sorted into Ravenclaw. He then perked up again when McGonagall said, "Potter, James."

As James walked up to the stool, he saw Sirius grinning at him, Peter waving at him, and then he saw Lily Evans. Lily Evans. So that was her name. His heart melted as he got a clear look at her face. _Oh please let me be in the same house as her_, he silently begged over and over again. The Hat was placed over his head. "Another Potter," the hat whispered in his ear. James was still silently pleading. "Loyalty, courage and a determination nothing can curb. No doubt where you belong, even without the prayers. GRYFFINDOR!"

Sirius clapped and cheered as he watched his buddy join him at the table. He watched as James shook hands with Remus, who smiled back, albeit a bit nervously.

"Snape, Severus."

James poked Sirius, sitting down beside him. "Look at that slimeball," he said, struggling against laughter. Sirius started silently laughing too. "We should have jinxed him on the train when we had the chance!"

"All I can say is, the next person who sits on the stool will slip right off it." They silently doubled over in laughter. No one seemed to notice, except Peter, who joined them, even though he had no idea what they were talking about.

"Shut it, you two!" Lily hissed anxiously. James obeyed at once.

Greasy Snape sat on the stool and the hat shouted, "SLYTHERIN!"

James and Sirius looked at each other with equal, malevolent grins. They knew that they had to torture Snivellus. As Snape passed by the Gryffindor table, he looked at Lily, and saw her sad green eyes smiling back at him. The Sorting finally ended with Wyatt, Daniel.

"I have some start-of-term announcements," Dumbledore said from the high table after the cheers for Daniel had died down. "First, you may have noticed that a new tree has been planted. It may be just a tree, but it is dangerous, so I advise you not to go near it, if you value your limbs."

Some of the students snickered. After all, when had they heard of a dangerous tree?

"Second," Dumbledore continued after the snickers and mutters died down. "We have a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher this year. Welcome Professor Michael Dent."

Scattered applause broke out. Professor Dent, a wiry-looking man with sunken eyes and wrinkly, old looking skin stood up slowly, then sat back down again.

James raised an eyebrow. "Wow. Can you say scrawny?"

Sirius laughed. "Presuming you're describing yourself, yes."

James scowled while Sirius laughed some more.

Sirius looked up again at the high table. Dumbledore's twinkling eyes was scanning over the new students and the old. Sirius's eyes caught Dumbledore's for a moment, and Dumbledore smiled at him. Sirius smiled reluctantly back.

Take that, the most Ancient and Noble House of Black.

The feast began. James and Sirius both gasped and grinned at the sight of the magnificent food. They dug in at once and began talking with Peter and Remus. Peter seemed incredibly nervous at everything they asked him; James found it quite hard to keep from sniggering, while Sirius couldn't put up with it.

"Honestly, Peter, are you that nervous to say your mum's name?" he said loudly in exasperation. A couple of people turned in their direction.

"It's nothing," Remus said. Everyone turned back to their food. Peter now looked scared and sorry.

Sirius sighed. "Sorry, Peter. I lose control of my temper a lot."

"It's okay," squeaked Peter.

James grinned at Sirius. "This is going to be a fun year."


	5. Wolf

_September, 1970_

* * *

Wolf

After the feast, they all stood up. Two prefects greeted the first years. "I'm Emmeline Vance," a blue-eyed girl said, smiling at the nervous first-years. "That's Benjy Fenwick. Welcome to Gryffindor!"

The group cheered.

"Alright," she laughed appreciatively. "You guys are a loud bunch. Benjy and I are going to show you the ropes. First, let's get to the common room."

Sirius, James and Peter made it out of the Great Hall as one, following Emmeline and Benjy.

"This is a rather confusing path," Benjy said, leading the group. "However, it is the most direct way to the common room. If you happen to get lost, feel free to ask Nearly Headless Nick. I believe most of you met him at the feast. Prefects are always happy to help as well, so ask us any questions you would like."

The first years nodded obediently as the group made their way through a portrait hall.

"Hello, and welcome to Hogwarts!" the vaious portraits on the wall greeted.

Lily gasped in astonishment as one of the portraits waved at her. James, who was walking behind her with Sirius, noticed this. He grinned to himself. She must be a muggle-born.

"Marci, I've never seen anything like this!" Lily whispered.

"It must be a bit shocking for you," Marcella said, smiling. "You'll get used to it, don't worry."

"But what if I'm not...you know, good at magic?" Lily said fearfully.

"You'll be great," Marcella said reassuringly. "Your blood status doesn't matter."

Lily smiled at her thankfully. She thought back to Snape - he had reassured her the same thing, told her that she had tons of magic in her. She felt more relieved.

Up the winding staircase, into this corridor.

The suits of armor bowed as they passed, making clanky and squeaking noises.

Jump a trick stair, wait for the staircase to change direction.

James and Sirius eventually lingered behind the entire group, observing the castle at great lengths. Remus was talking to Peter in the front of the group. They lagged further and further behind, wanting to explore every nook and cranny of the castle.

"Oh great, we're going to get lost!" James said loudly. The group of first years were barely visible ahead of James and Sirius. They had lagged too far behind. James saw to his relief that the group had slowed down at a particular portrait. "Let's go, Sirius!" James said and sprinted up to the rest of the Gryffindors.

Sirius started to follow, but suddenly, a hand clasped around his mouth and dragged him into a deserted corridor. Once the person let go of his face, he wheeled around to look at his kidnapper.

Oh, crap.

It was Bellatrix and Narcissa. Narcissa, who was a seventh year, was smiling coldly at him. Bellatrix, a fourth year, was glaring darkly at him.

Sirius wished he knew a good curse. Or even a good punch.

"Hello, dear cousin," Bellatrix sneered.

Sirius glared at them both, eyes stormy. "What do you want?"

"Manners, cousin," Narcissa said coldly, whipping her long blonde hair behind her. "We would just like to talk to you."

"Well I don't want to talk to you," Sirius snapped.

"Too bad," Bellatrix said, glaring at him. "You can imagine what this does for our family, you being sorted into Gryffindor..."

SIrius tensed. This was the one subject he didn't want to touch upon right at the moment.

"Your father will be so displeased..." Bellatrix continued.

"I don't care," Sirius said truthfully.

"What?" Bellatrix snarled.

"I don't care. If he hates me for this, my life will be that much better."

Bellatrix and Narcissa both stared at him. Sirius felt a certain vindictive pride swell up inside him.

"I'd watch my back, if I were you," Bellatrix finally spat. "Our family's definitely not going to be pleased with you once they find out...I'd be surprised if they don't chuck you out of the house."

"If they did," Sirius said darkly, "I would thank them. I wouldn't have to hang around with people like you anymore."

"What?" Bellatrix shrieked. "You shut up, you little ingrate! After all our family has done for you..."

"They've done nothing except try to convert me into a Dark Arts freak," Sirius snapped.

Bellatrix bared her teeth. She opened her mouth to speak, but Sirius couldn't take it anymore.

"Go to hell," he snarled.

Without another word, he stormed quickly out of the corridor before Bellatrix or Narcissa could reply.

"You come back here right now, filthy blood traitor!" Bellatrix shrieked. Breaking into a run, Sirius managed to find the portrait hole that the Gryffindors had clambered through, and dived into the portrait hole just as it swung shut.

"Where were you?" James hissed as Sirius ran up to him, panting.

"Later," Sirius said, scowling.

The first years had arrived at a cozy room with a fireplace and comfortable-looking couches.

"This is your common room," Benjy introduced. Apparently they were touring the room. "Here you can do your homework. I would go to the library, but Madame Pince is in a rather tetchy mood and will throw you out for dropping a pencil."

Emmeline laughed at this. "He's actually right, you know. I wouldn't risk it."

They then split up into two groups. They boys went with Benjy to check out their dorms. Sirius and James immediately grabbed a dorm. Peter tagged along. James and Sirius looked at each other, resigning to the obvious fact that Peter was going to be with them. James, who had rather taken a liking to Remus, summoned him to the room as well. They had four people. One more was supposed to come, but none ever did. However, the boys weren't complaining. They were elated at having an extra bed to crash in.

"Is this awesome or what?" Sirius sighed, flopping down on a random bed. The converstation with Bellatrix and Narcissa was being squeezed out of his mind by feelings of pure joy.

Peter grinned delightedly. "Awesome."

"Wicked," James grinned. "I feel at home already."

Sirius claimed the bunk closest to the door. James took the bunk next to him. Remus took a bunk next to James and Peter took the bunk next to Remus.

Remus glanced at his watch, then panicked. He had to talk to Dumbledore in five minutes! No time to unpack.

Sirius, James and Peter were still chatting. "Guys, I have to go somewhere. Be back soon," he said, running out of the door.

"Okay," said Sirius lazily.

* * *

Remus raced down the stairs to Dumbledore's office. McGonagall had told him to be there at nine. It was already 9:02. Oh god. This was definitely not good. Twice he had to stop for instructions, and he also met Peeves on the way, who delighted himself in dropping sticky blue stuff on his head.

Remus finally raced to the gargoyle statues, then stopped. He didn't know the password! How was he going to get in?

As if to answer his question, the gargoyles sprung to life and a path was cleared. Remus looked around in amazement. Clutching a stitch in his side, he walked up the winding stairs.

He arrived in Dumbledore's circular office and saw McGonagall, Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey sitting together around a desk. "Sorry I'm late," he stuttered, still clutching his side. "Lost track of time."

Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling. "No matter, Mr. Lupin, I am sure the castle can be a very confusing place. Please have a seat."

Remus took the chair closest to him. He was sweating all over. He didn't know what they would ask of him. Dumbledore smiled at him. He relaxed a little.

"Trying a new hair product?" Dumbledore asked, smiling.

Remus gingerly reached to up touch his hair, then laughed nervously. "Yeah...it was Peeves..."

"I shall be having a word with him," Dumbledore said lightly. "Now, down to business." He clapped his hands together.

"Remus, you know as well as I do that it is not safe to have you in the school on the nights of the full moon," Dumbledore began.

Remus nodded apprehensively.

"But that isn't to say we have to transport you out completely to a new place. You will transform on the grounds," Dumbledore continued.

Remus felt fear shoot through him. On the grounds? Was Dumbledore mental? He could seriously hurt someone! "But Professor –"

"We have taken many precautions to make sure nobody is hurt during your transformations," Dumbledore continued, as if knowing what Remus was thinking. "Look outside the window."

Remus went to the window. He saw a tree, the same tree that Dumbledore must have been talking about at the feat. He was just about to say why he was looking at this tree when a squirrel came running up to it. Clearly not wanting to be disturbed, the tree thrashed violently about, trying to hit the squirrel. Remus gasped.

Then he understood. The tree had been planted this year for protection. Not for his protection, but for the protection of others. Dumbledore would rather have them exposed to this thrashing tree than a werewolf. Remus gulped.

"Take a seat again," Professor McGonagall said.

Remus walked dizzily back to his seat.

"We have planted the Whomping Willow there for our students' protection and yours," Dumbledore said as Remus rsat down. "We ensure the students' safety by making sure they can never go near the tree. Now every month when you transform, Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall will lead you to the willow. They will prod a knot on the tree and the tree will freeze. You will follow them into a tunnel that leads to a safehouse. In there you can transform. The doors and windows will be barred so you won't be able to get out. In the morning, they will come and get you. You will be excused from classes the following two days. You may rest in the hospital."

Remus nodded his head in agreement. Good. It was all for the best. Nobody will get hurt, and he won't hurt anybody. Just the way it should be.

Another part of him saddened. It was because of all this that he had to be secluded and different. It was always this way, ever since he'd been bitten. No one ever accepted him once they found out his condition.

"Make sure you keep your condition a secret, Mr. Lupin," Professor McGonagall said sternly, jerking Remus back to reality.

Remus nodded again. Of course he would keep his condition a secret. Who would want to be friends with a werewolf? They would abandon them as soon as they knew. He had to keep it to himself.

"Any questions?"

Remus shook his head.

"If all is understood, Mr. Lupin, you can leave now."

Remus stood up. Professor McGonagall offered to escort him back to his common room, but he said no. He needed to contemplate what Dumbledore had said.

As he left the office, he looked back at the teachers one last time. Dumbledore was smiling comfortingly at him, and Professor McGonagall had an odd look in her eyes. Was it pity? Remus sighed. He really didn't need pity right now. It wouldn't help, and it just worsened his views on everything he represented.

Remus knew it was for the best, the Willow, the house, everything. Yet deep inside his heart he knew that he would never have a normal life, at least not as normal as the others. He was a werewolf. Nothing could cure that. He was just going to have to be locked out of harm's way his whole life, with nothing to battle but himself.

* * *

"REMUS!" James yelled as Remus walked through the doorway. Remus smiled. At least he had the beginnings of a friendship, any sort of friendship, even if they were mandatory roomates. He couldn't ever let them know, James, Sirius and Peter. They were normal. And he was a dangerous wolf. He couldn't let them know.

The four boys talked through the night, chattering excitedly, clearly elated with their House and the castle.

"I'm a pureblood," James stated. He didn't say it proudly, but just as a fact. "My family doesn't care about purity of blood. They think that everyone with magic in them should be given a change at magical education.

"Wish I could say the same for me," Sirius muttered darkly. James noticed a dangerous look in his eye.

"I'm pureblood," piped up Peter. "My parents don't care either."

"Me too," Remus said. "I mean, my parents don't care, but it's because I'm a half-blood. Then again, it doesn't put them in a position to care, does it?"

Sirius's eyes turned darker. "My parents are going to absolutely hate me for being in Gryffindor."

"Why?" Peter asked.

"Because the whole Black generation has been in Slytherin." Sirius laughed darkly. "In fact, my dear cousins ambushed me in the hallway while I was trying to make my way up to the common room." He turned to look at James. "And they definitely weren't pleased." Sirius laughed again. "Not that I care what those bloody idiots think..."

James felt like it was a good time to change the subject. It was getting too heavy. "So, Remus, what did Dumbledore want to talk to you about?"

Remus paled but then regained his composure.

"Oh. That. My mum's sick."

James and Peter turned quiet. "I'm sorry," said Peter quietly.

James nodded. "That's too bad. I hope she gets better soon."

Sirius, however, was less than sympathetic. "So?" he shrugged.

James and Peter turned to look at him in shock, but James thought he understood. Sirius had never felt loved by a parent. He had never loved them back. He didn't know what it felt like to be loved. James could tell that much just by talking to Sirius, just by touching upon the subject of his family.

Sirius understood too, and he suddenly found himself regretting what he said.

"Sorry, mate," he said quietly. "I come from a different family type than you, I guess."

"It's okay," Remus said softly.

"I mean, my parents don't care about me. But I think it's great that you have parents that you can care about." Sirius forced a grin. "I really hope she gets better."

Remus offered a weak smile.

That night, when the four boys climbed into their beds, Remus was the happiest he had ever been in a long time, because he knew these boys would become his friends.


	6. Settling In

_September, 1970_

* * *

Settling In

When the four boys woke up, they headed straight to the Great Hall for breakfast. Or at least they tried to.

"It's this way!" James said, dragging Remus and Peter down the right corridor.

"No, it's this way!" Sirius snapped back.

"Guys, no! It's straight down. I'm pretty sure," Remus said, pointing down a different corridor.

Sirius and James gave up on trying to argue and turned in the direction Remus said. The castle was one big maze. Just finding everything was tough enough, as they found out the hard way. They walked down a deserted corridor they've never seen before. Reaching a dead end, they saw absolutely no way out. They were lost enough as it is.

"Great, Lupin," Sirius said sarcastically. "You've gotten us lost."

"Right, like you wouldn't have gotten us lost," Remus said peevishly.

"Well, are we lost?" Peter asked.

"No, Peter, I know exactly where we are," Sirius said, voice once again dripping with sarcasm.

"Where?" Peter asked.

"Lost!" Sirius said loudly, throwing up his hands in exasperation.

James leaned against a painting, wondering how on earth they were going to find their way to the Great Hall. He was hungry, and felt his stomach grumbling.

"So what do we do now?" Remus asked.

"We have two options. We either stay here and starve, or walk around, get lost some more and starve."

"Any option that doesn't include starving?" James asked, suppressing a smile. He put his hand on his head and ran his fingers through his hair, touching the painting behind him by accident.

Suddenly, they heard giggling from very close to where they were. The four boys looked around in bewilderment, but saw no one. Peter looked a bit scared. Sirius shrugged.

"Maybe it was a ghost. Peeves would love to play this sort of joke."

"Who's Peeves?" Remus asked interestedly.

"Poltergeist," James answered. "He's mad. No one can get him out. And if you don't watch out, your hair will be blue for about three weeks. That's what happened to my dad."

They all cracked up. James leaned on the painting, laughing. Suddenly the giggling sounded again, but this time, it seemed to be from behind James. James sprang away from the painting in alarm, thinking there was a ghost there that he had offended or something.

"Hey!" Remus said. "It's the painting!" He walked up to it and brushed his fingers over the painting. As soon as his fingers touched the pear, the four boys watched in amazement as the giggling pear turned into a shiny doorknob.

Sirius grinned. "Unbelievable! Our first day here and we've already discovered a secret place! Let's go in."

"I love this place," James said, still laughing.

The four boys turned the knob and climbed past the portrait door. Suddenly a bunch of house-elves were bowing low. Peter looked around in amazement. Remus smiled. Sirius looked incredibly pleased.

"What is this place?"

"Welcome to the kitchens, sirs!" one elf squeaked.

"Kitchens?" James asked. "Wow! I didn't know this school had a kitchens!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Without a kitchen, where would our food be prepared?"

Suddenly, James's stomach grumbled loudly. The house elves grinned even wider, surrounding the four friends. "Can we get you anything, sirs? Masters seem hungry."

James thought for a moment. "Okay, then some chocolate eclairs. They were delicious."

The house elves beamed widely. Soon, a group of house elves came running with a whole platter full of scrumptious-looking eclairs.

"Anything else sirs?"

Sirius grinned. "Well now that you mentioned it..."

Peter looked around in surprise. He knew there was a reason he wanted to be like James and Sirius. They were brave. He would give anything for courage. And they were his friends. He was well off.

James grinned happily at Sirius, Remus and Peter while the elves were off bringing a whole new batch of food. "I don't know about you guys," he said, mouth full of food, "but this is much better than the Great Hall."

* * *

Snape came over to talk to Lily at breakfasttime. "Hi," he said, sliding onto the bench beside her.

"Oh, hi!" Lily said, smiling at him, and took a sip of orange juice. "Marcella, this is Severus."

Marcella took one look at Snape and frowned a bit, though forced a smile. "It's nice to meet you," she said. "Lily has told me a lot about you."

Snape didn't seem to hear her. "Lily, want to go back to the Slytherin table and eat there?" he asked bluntly, casting an oddly jealous look at Marcella.

Lily raised an eyebrow as Marcella's frown deepened. "No, it's okay, Sev," she said. "I'm fine here."

"Are you sure?" Snape asked.

"Yes," Lily said firmly.

Snape couldn't think of anything else to say. He slid off the bench gingerly and looked at it as it was its fault that Lily wasn't coming with him.

"Sev, listen," Lily said as Snape stood up. "I know we're in different Houses, and I'm really sad about that. But it's okay, alright? We'll find time to see each other. We're still best friends, aren't we?"

"Of course," Snape said, forcing a smile. "We'll have classes together."

"Exactly," Lily beamed. "I'll see you later."

Snape waved halfheartedly and headed back toward the Slytherin table.

* * *

The four boys did manage to find the Great Hall after stuffing their faces with cake and asking the house-elves for direction. They made it just as breakfast was ending. McGonagall gave them a look that plainly said _I don't want to know where you four were. _They got their schedules from her, and headed up to their dormitory to get their books for Defense Against the Dark Arts, their first ever Hogwarts class.

Professor Michael Dent looked in his late thirties. He had wisps of gray hair in tune with his black hairs. On the first day of class, he told them that this would be a very serious and vigorously paced course, and that they would be dealing with creatures like hinkypunks, grindylows, boggarts, werewolves and more. Remus shifted uncomfortably as he heard the last one.

Their first lesson was to just apparently recognize the creatures and learn to tell them apart by pictures. Dent also demonstrated some elementary defense spells and basic curses. By the end of the class, it was clear that Remus, Sirius and James loved the class and could not wait to try some curses themselves. Peter, however, hysterically claimed that he understood none of it.

In Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall gave them a lecture right as class started. James felt a little intimidated by her immediately, and silently made a mental note to not do anything stupid in her class.

"In this class you will be expected to do the best you can," she said sternly, peering at them. "I expect every single one of you to pass this class. Foolish behavior will not be tolerated. Misbehavior will be punished most severely. Take this seriously. "

She then gave them complicated notes and asked them to turn a match into a needle.

"Start. Give it your best shot."

The whole class was in a state of confusion. "What?" muttered a fellow Gryffindor, completely not getting the subject.

James, however, was certain of his skill. He remembered Mr. Ollivander. He remembered the old man saying that his wand would be great for Transfiguration. It was time to put that information to the test.

James tried hard and focused, not a fiber of doubt entering his body. Some called him cocky; some called him confident. He managed it on his fourth attempt.

"Professor, I did it!" he said excitedly, waving her over. She gave him a rare smile.

"Ten points to Gryffindor! Excellent, Mr. Potter."

Peter and Remus were smiling at them. Peter was also clapping. James felt great. When he looked at Lily, however, she wasn't looking at him, but at her match, with a deadly glare. He felt a bit disappointed; he wanted her to witness what he just did so she would be impressed.

Sirius looked over at James. He was determined to prove that anything James could do, he could do also. He closed his eyes and concentrated. After a couple of tries, his red match had turned into a shining, silver needle.

Professor McGonagall looked at him in surprise. A Black actually attempting to doing well in her class. That was a first. But the Sorting Hat was right once again. Turning around, she realized that Remus and Lily had both done it as well. James and Sirius were smiling at them, and James was smiling mostly at Lily, who completely ignored him. Peter caught James's expression and laughed.

* * *

James and Sirius were seemingly good at every subject. They passed everything with flying colors, mostly due to their competitive natures - when one accomplished something, the other was not far behind. Sirius was very talented in Defense Against the Dark Arts along with Remus. James loved Transfiguration. He noticed, though, that in Charms and Potions, the Lily girl was very adept. By the fourth lesson it was clear that Professor Slughorn simply loved her.

Peter, however, was miserably failing. They boys each took turns trying to explain the subjects to him. Sirius lost patience in the first hour or so, and then James and Remus would take over. Sirius and James were both surprised at Remus's patience. It was never-ending.

"How do you do it?" Sirius moaned, exploding at Peter for the fifth time before retiring.

Remus just shrugged. Deep inside his heart, he knew that he needed to be patient, and that he was this way because his condition showed him that he should try to help others as much as possible.

Though James and Sirius were both incredibly talented, each had their downfall. James was always trying to impress Lily with all the magic he could do, and his ego inflated with alarming speed. Each time, Lily would either look away, disgusted, or call him a show-off. James, however, wasn't too bothered.

"She loves me," he said to Sirius. Sirius let out a laugh. It was painfully obvious James had a crush on Lily, and it was even more painfully obvious Lily wanted nothing to do with him.

"Yeah, she just has a memory charm put on her so she forgets every time she sees you."

"She loves me. She will."

Sirius shook his head. There was no reasoning with James.

Sirius, however talented he was on every other subject, was definitely no Quidditch player. On the first day of the lesson, James showed everyone what he could do. The Quidditch instructor, an old witch with short hair named Madam Frish, was very impressed. She told James that he could definitely be a player on his team next year. James beamed with pride at these words, and his ego seemed to swell.

Sirius didn't mind. Quidditch was the one thing he knew he could never beat James at. So during the lessons he goofed around with Peter and Remus, both of whom couldn't fly very well, and cheered James on as he sped around the pitch. A certain red-haired Gryffindor girl trying to fly muttered and complained about James Potter being a stupid showoff on a broomstick.

It never ceased to amaze the teachers how Sirius and James pulled it off. They were never seen studying, except for helping Peter, yet they managed to do their work and do everything required in class. This surprised everyone, including McGonagall. When they were supposed to be studying for an upcoming test in class, James and Sirius goofed off in class. And yet when she asked them to perform a complicated spell as punishment, they were able to accomplish it better than anyone else in the class could.

"It's a natural talent," Sirius laughed as Peter whined and wanted in on the secret of his success.

"Definitely," agreed James.

"How can you guys pass everything so easily?" Peter moaned. "You, Sirius and Remus are so smart, while I can hardly even get what the teachers are saying!"

"It's okay, Peter," Remus said quietly. "We'll help you. We'd never abandon our friends."

James nodded. Sirius, however suddenly got a gleam in his eye.

James knew the telltale gesture. "Sirius, what are you planning this time?"

Sirius grinned mischeivously. "Let's go exploring a little bit."

"How and when?" Remus asked. His first full moon was coming up.

"Tonight."

Peter looked doubtful. "Won't we be caught?"

"We'll be careful."

"So we'll be caught."

"We'll be really careful, how's that?"

"So...we'll probably be caught?"

"Probably."

Peter gave out a small whimper. "Definitely tonight?"

Sirius nodded, grinning like mad.

Remus relaxed. His full moon wasn't until tomorrow. "Okay, let's go," he said, grinning.

James looked at him in surprise, as did Sirius and Peter. "Are you actually agreeing to rule-breaking?"

Remus shrugged. "Live like you were dying." He knew he was. Remus would die tomorrow night, as the moon rises. The monster within will be born once more.

* * *

The boys were ready for their first adventure, or at least James and Sirius were. They all stayed up until nine. Then they silently sneaked out of their dormitory and into the common room. No one was there.

"Perfect," whispered Sirius.

They trodded to the portrait hole.

"If you don't mind me asking, Sirius, where are we going?" Peter asked as they crept along.

"Exploring."

"Where?"

"Anywhere. For shortcuts and secret passageways. They can help later on."

"So we're risking detention for nothing?"

"I wouldn't call it nothing, I'd call it exploring, Peter."

"So we don't really have destination?"

"Precisely," Sirius said, grinning widely.

"Wonderful," Peter said, groaning.

The boys followed Sirius out the portrait of the Fat Lady. She gave them a maddening look, but they trudged on anyway.

They explored everywhere. They went silently through every corridor possible. They tapped every brick. They found their way into the kitchens again for a midnight snack. A couple of times Filch came about, but as he was mainly babying his new cat, he didn't pay too much attention. The four were actually able to hide from him using some of the shortcuts they had found.

"This is so wicked!" James whispered.

Twice they ended up in secret passageways that actually led out of Hogwarts. They all grinned at each other. Oh, these would definitely come in handy. Remus gulped. He knew of another passageway out of the Hogwarts grounds. All he hoped was that none of his friends ever found out about it.

"Wow!" Sirius whispered, finding the fourth secret passageway of the night. He knew this one would help. It was a straight line between Charms and Transfiguration classrooms.

Peter was looking elated to be included. He whispered his amazement with Sirius. Sirius turned to James and rolled his eyes. Remus laughed quietly.

Suddenly they saw a shadow loom ahead of them. They ducked back into a lonely corridor. It was Filch again, and this time he looked murderous.

"I heard someone talking! Who's out there? I will find you…"

"This is not good," Peter whimpered.

"Sh!" James whispered urgently.

Filch lurked closer and closer. The right hallway would lead them straight to Filch, and the left hallway was filled with armor and bits of scattered junk that they might step in and make a noise with. As Filch came closer and closer, however, the boys knew that they had no choice.

"Quick, this way," Remus whispered, leading them down a left hallway. They scampered down it, careful not to trip on anything. Peter accidentally slammed against an armor, and the clashing noise was too loud for words.

"Peter!" Sirius whispered, annoyed.

"Sorry!" Peter moaned.

Filch let out a triumphant wheeze, and started walking faster in their direction.

"What do we do," Peter moaned.

James faced the wall, unsure. Then he remembered that they had discovered a secret passage to the kitchen hallways behind a certain portrait on this wall... he ran around frantically, trying to find the right portrait, and finally lifted up the right one. "This way!"

They four boys dove into the portrait hole and not a moment to soon. They heard Filch's wheezes from behind the portrait, and ran as fast as they could down the tunnel. After what seemed like forever, they climbed out of another portrait hole and found themselves in the same corridor the kitchens were located in.

"That was close," James breathed.

"Yeah, thanks to you, James," Remus said gratefully.

"I knew there was one there," James grinned. "We discovered it about an hour ago, remember?"

"Yeah," Peter smiled.

"That was way too close for comfort," Remus said, leaning against a wall.

Sirius, however, just laughed. They looked at him in amazement. Yes, Sirius was definitely insane.

Walking a bit more, they felt on top of the world. Nothing could stop them now. Remus was opposed to any rule breaking, but he told himself he should try and have some fun anyway.

"We should turn back," Peter said nervously. He kept looking around for any strangers or teachers.

James groaned. "Come on, Peter."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Honestly, tell me how you got into Gryffindor? We're supposed to be brave."

Peter turned bright red. Remus spoke up.

"He's right, though. It is getting rather late. We should turn back."

James and Sirius reluctantly nodded.

At around two in the morning they arrived back at the portrait. The Fat Lady gave them one last stern look before letting them in with the password. They just smiled at her. Sirius was elated they had found so many passageways. James was still marveling at the fact that they didn't get caught. Peter was happy to be included. And Remus… Remus thought about the night's adventures, hoping that he could forget about what lay ahead tomorrow.

* * *

"You're going to visit you mum? Now?" Sirius asked incredulously.

Remus nodded.

"Why?"

"I told you, she's sick."

"Why?"

"A disease."

"Are you taking anything with you?"

Remus shook his head.

"Why?"

"Oh shut up, Sirius," James interrupted.

"His mum is sick," Peter whispered in Sirius's ear.

Sirius relented. "All right, mate, I guess we'll see you tomorrow."

"Not tomorrow," Remus said nervously. "I'll be gone for a couple of days. Depending on how sick she is."

The other three boys nodded, looking a bit let down. Who was going to make them do their homework and stay out of trouble? Just then, Professor McGonagall climbed through the portrait hole.

"Are you ready, Mr. Lupin?" she asked, striding up to him.

"Is she taking you to visit your mum?" Sirius asked with a surprised look.

"Yes," Remus said without hesitation.

McGonagall caught on. "She's waiting for you, Remus. She can't wait to see you."

Heading back to the portrait hole with McGonagall, he felt himself turn around and give his friends a wave. They all waved back. Remus had friends, real friends. He would never let them know.

"You mum is sick? That's a good excuse, Remus," McGonagall said as she strode down the halls, Remus at her side.

"Thank you, Professor," Remus replied quietly. The fact was, he hated this. He really did not like lying to his friends. But what could he do? They couldn't know. They would never know. They wouldn't accept him. He was sure of it. He had seen it happen too many times. He wasn't going to risk the only part of his life that made him as happy as they did.

They met Madam Pomfrey at the edge of the tree. She had a long stick in her hands. Upon seeing them, she wove the stick between the branches and prodded a knot. The tree instantly became still. Remus gasped in surprise. McGonagall shot him a small smile.

Remus followed McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey down the tunnel. In and in they went, until a house with ragged pieces of furniture came into view. Remus gulped. This is where he would be going, once a month, every month while he was at Hogwarts.

Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall were both looking at Remus with a bit of pity. Remus sighed and sat down on one of the cracked wooden chairs. He looked around. The house was not a very cozy place. It was pretty much wooden all around, with cracks in much of the furniture. He guessed that since the furniture was already horrible, they brought him here so he could destroy it without feeling bad.

He noticed a slight glow on all the windows and doors. He knew that's where the teachers and Dumbledore had cast their spells, making sure no one could get in and he couldn't get out. He was safe from the outside once more, but in danger of the inside.

It's all for the best, he told himself. Nobody gets hurt.

Except you, whispered a voice in the back of his head.

Remus shook his head, clearing it. He looked back up at Professor McGonagall, who was smiling at him weakly.

"Make yourself comfortable," McGonagall said kindly.

Remus nodded. He would never be comfortable. Never.

"We'll come and get you in the morning," Madam Pomfrey said quietly.

Remus hated people looking at him like that. He didn't need their pity. He just needed to deal with it own his own. The last thing he needed was pity.

The two women left quietly. Night was beginning to fall.

Remus sighed resignedly. He knew it was coming. He knew he was already dying. The wolf within was dying to get out. He sat alone, brooding for what seemed like the tensest hours of his life. During that time he felt extremely grateful for James, Sirius and Peter. They cared. They actually cared.

As he sat there, he felt his heart beat faster. What was it going to be like? At home, he had his family...even after his aunt died a couple years back, the rest of his family had stayed by him through his transformations. They talked to him, and it comforted him.

And yet here he had no one.

"I'll be fine," he said firmly to himself. Yet in a deep corner of his heart, he knew he didn't believe it.

As the moon rose, he had a fleeting glimpse of James's laughing face in their last Quidditch lesson before through the windows, moonbeams fell on his skin. His body went rigid. His face contorted in pain, and he let out a howl. The pain tripled. Remus felt his mind slip into unconsciousness as the wolf took over. He was a werewolf once more. He let out another howl, this time louder, and began to rip the place apart. He bit himself various times, having nothing else to do. All the wolf could do was wait until the morning, where once more he could be Remus.

Remus Lupin had friends. The werewolf was all alone.


	7. Halloween

_October, 1970_

* * *

Halloween

Remus found his mind slipping back into consciousness at the sun rose. He was too tired and too worn out to get up. He found huge bite marks and gashed all over his body when he sat up. Wincing with pain, he forced himself not to cry. He had to be strong. He wouldn't feel sorry for himself. There was no use. It would be twenty-nine days until the beast arose again, and until then, he just had to bear the scars of a broken day. Too tired to speak, he finally fell back to sleep on the wooden floor.

A figure arrived at the tunnel as Remus slept, walking silently. Madam Pomfrey caught her breath at the sight of the limp, small boy on the wooden floor. Sorrow filled in her heart. Remus had been through so much.

"_Mobilicorpus_," she muttered, pointing her wand at Remus, taking him with her back to the hospital wing.

* * *

James, Sirius and Peter were in a rut. They never realized how much they needed Remus until Remus was gone. Remus was the good boy. He always made them do their homework and study. James and Sirius complained, but deep in their hearts they knew that he cared and didn't want them to flunk out of Hogwarts.

Peter, of course, was in a bigger rut. Without Remus to be patient with him, he was way too nervous for tutoring with James and Sirius. It just made matters worse. A lot worse. When Remus wasn;t around, much of their study time was dedicated to frustration, anger, apologies, and a whole lot of yelling.

"Merlin's pants, Peter!" Sirius yelled in their dormitory. "This is the fifth time! Swish and flick! Is it that hard?"

"I'm sorry," Peter moaned.

"And it's Wingardium Leviosa, not Wingding Leverosa," James said, trying to be as calm as possible. However, he was clearly frustrated. He was furiously gripping his hair, making it stick up even more oddly than before.

"I'm sorry," Peter moaned again.

"Here, I'll demonstrate." Sirius brandished his wand, then swished and flicked. "_Wingardium Leviosa_!" The book that he had been pointing at levitated a few inches off the desk.

"Now you try," James said to Peter. Peter nervously gripped his wand with his sweaty palm.

"_W-Wingardium Leviosa_!" Then, Peter swished. But he didn't flick. He jabbed the book so hard that it set on fire.

"ARGH!" Sirius groaned loudly, putting out the fire with a cup of water sitting nearby. "Peter! IT'S NOT THAT HARD!"

"Sorry!" Peter moaned again.

After a while, after everyone had calmed down, James and Sirius apologized to Peter. Peter apologized too. The three boys went to bed, each moody and wholeheartedly wishing Remus was back.

Remus did return, in due time. Two days after they saw him left he returned, looking incredibly tired but grinning.

"Remus!" Peter squealed, running over to him and holding a Transfiguration book. Remus laughed. It felt good to be needed, even if it was for homework purposes.

"How's your mum?" James asked, coming over.

Instantly, Remus's face blanched. James looked at his shoes, feeling guilty. "Sorry, mate, didn't mean to bring that up."

"It's okay," Remus mumbled.

Sirius came over as well. "It's just a little party here, isn't it? Remus, why did you leave? It's been no fun without you." He cast Peter a look. Peter flushed and headed back to the table. Sirius followed. It was his turn to tutor.

"Peter will never pass the first year if you don't tutor him," James whispered to Remus, casting a sidelong glance at Peter. Remus laughed. Sirius was throwing down his book in frustration. Sirius had given up on trying to tutor Peter. James walked over to take a turn.

Sirius walked over to Remus, a determined look on his face. "I can't tutor Peter anymore. It's killing me."

"Come on, Sirius, you're great at Defense Against the Dark Arts. You're not too shabby in the other subjects either. Come on. Peter really needs your help," Remus pleaded.

Sirius looked at Remus. "You're smart. And you're patient. I don't have the patience to explain everything to him."

Remus looked right back at Sirius. "He's our friend. Friends help each other. He would do the same for you."

Sirius let out a laugh. "Peter, tutor me?" It was lucky Peter was too absorbed in trying not to make James mad to hear. Sirius saw a look on Remus's face.

"I would never abandon my friends," Remus said quietly.

Sirius, seeing Remus was dead serious, said "okay, I'll tutor him. Just because I'm so good at everything, I'll be nice. And I would never abandon my friends either."

Remus smiled. In his heart, he felt a weight. He somehow knew Sirius would abandon him if he knew what he really was.

* * *

Halloween was coming up. All the first years were incredibly excited about the feast. They had heard magnificent things about what the food would be like. There were to be pumpkins levitating on the ceiling, and many great decorations. The first years were most excited. After all, it was the first holiday they would be spending in the castle.

James wasn't exactly a Potions geek. Professor Slughorn had his hand-picked favorites in class, and James wasn't one of them. Lily was, however, and Snape as well. It didnt' bother James too much that he wasn't great at the subject, but it helped toward his animosity for the Slytherins.

Lily and Snape were always partnered at the same table. Usually she was chatting animatedly with him while he gazed at her, a small smile on the corner of his lips. James shook his head every time he saw them together - how anyone could be friends with Snape, especially Lily Evans, was beyond his apprehension.

After a particularly nasty double potions class, in which the Gryffindors received many whispered insults from the Slytherins behind Slughorn's back, James rounded up his friends. He had a plan.

"James, are you sure you want to do this?" Remus asked nervously after James had sounded out the prank. "We could get into so much trouble for this if the teachers find out."

Sirius grinned. "Hey, Potter has a good idea. Where's all the fun without the risk? Besides, the teachers are never going to know who did it."

"Well..." Remus said hesitantly.

"Come on, Remus, lighten up," James grinned.

"Yeah," Peter echoed.

"Please?" Sirius said, trying his best to make a sad face.

Remus stopped trying to argue with them. It was pointless. "Alright, who are we pranking this time?" he said defeatedly.

"And he gives in!" Sirius cheered.

Remus rolled his eyes.

James grinned. "Anyway, we're pranking that greasy-haired Slytherin kid by the same of Severus."

Sirius frowned. "I thought it was Snivellus."

James laughed. "Maybe you're right. Snivellus, then."

"Isn't that Lily's friend?" Remus spoke up.

James scowled.

"Why don't we do the whole of Slytherin?" Sirius said, face lighting up. Slughorn liked him, but he had his personal animosity toward they Slytherin house.

"Yeah," James said enthusiastically.

"Hold on," Remus said slowly. "I'm okay with Snivellus, but the whole Slytherin house? Don't you think that's going to be a bit too harsh?"

"No," Sirius scoffed. "They deserve it."

"I don't know..." Remus said, shaking his head.

"Remus, please? Pleaaaase?" James said, pleading.

"You agreed to it already," Sirius said, grinning. "Don't back down."

"Well..." he took a look at Sirius and James's eager faces. "Fine," he sighed. "If we get into trouble, I'm blaming it on you two, right Peter?"

Peter laughed.

"Deal," Sirius grinned.

"Anyway, we can play a prank on him, and the whole of Slytherin. It will be so funny! Maybe they will all take a shower after this." James grinned malevolently. "Especially Snivelly."

Remus rolled his eyes. "One question."

"Yes?"

"Why?"

James shot Sirius an exasperated look, then turned to look at Remus. "He's a slimy, greasy Slytherin git. Need I say more?"

Peter laughed. Remus smiled in exasperation. James and Sirius were never going to change.

* * *

Halloween indeed came in due time. The Gryffindor first years had a free period right before the feast. James, Sirius, Peter and Remus took this as a god-given blessing. After all, if they were going to prank Snivellus, they'd better set up early. And quick.

James sneaked into the Great Hall half an hour before the feast. He made his way to the Slytherin table. Large pumpkins were levitated near the ceiling as a celebration to Halloween. Candles floated everywhere, and orange and black decorations hung all throughout the Great Hall. James beckoned to his friends, who were peeking at the door to come inside.

"Shhh!" whispered James as Peter accidentally ran into a bench.

"Sorry!" Peter moaned.

James shot Sirius a look. They both shook their head

They all made it to the Slytherin table. They clambered up upon the tables and looked for good pumpkins. There were quite a couple hanging straight over the Slytherin table.

"Perfect," Sirius said, grinning. He took out a huge bottle of shrinking potion they had been making in Potions class. He dumped just enough of its contents to each pumpkin so that the liquid didn't spill out of the hollow, knife-carved mouth of the pumpkins. Peter, Remus and James watched him, suppressing laughter. Tonight, old Snivelly would get it.

"It's time to go," Remus whispered nervously.

"Are you scared," Sirius said in a baby voice.

"No," Remus laughed. "But if we get caught I don't want to be expelled."

"Point taken," Sirius grinned. "Our job is done anyway. Let's go."

They slipped back out the Great Hall quietly. "Do you think anyone saw us?" Peter asked anxiously.

James shook his head. "I don't think so. Who would waste their time spying on us?"

The four boys went back up to the common room to try to get some work done. No such luck. James and Sirius, who were already allergic to work, was concentrating even less than usual. Soon Peter forgot all about the levitating spell.

"Hey, why don't we skive off homework for one night?" Remus suggested, grinning.

The other three looked at him in surprise. This was definitely a first. Remus saying they should put off homework?

"Well, I mean really, I can't concentrate with the excitement of Halloween." Remus smiled and winked.

The other boys agreed heartily. No one was in the mood for any work.

They went down to the Great Hall as soon as it was open for dinner. They saw they were definitely not the first. It seems so many students had gathered it was scary. They all filed in to the Great Hall, chattering excitedly. James and Sirius had identical evil grins on their faces. Remus and Peter had identical worried looks on their faces.

James and Sirius sat down at their usual spot. As a group, they decided Remus and James would do the aiming. Peter and Sirius would be the lookouts.

The Great Hall was soon filled full. Everyone was eating their hearts out, delighted at the pies and pastries that appeared before them. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter ate as well, stuffing their face. At one point Lily, who was eating neatly with a fork, looked over to see James and Sirius cramming food with their hand into their mouths.

"They're disgusting," she whispered to her friend, Marcella. "You would think that people so smart would know not to eat with their hands."

Marcella just laughed. "Lily, I think James has a little crush on you."

This was the last thing she expected. "What?"

"He's always looking at you, Lily. He stares at you. I swear he has drool coming out of his mouth at some points."

Lily looked disgusted. "Ew," was all she said.

Sirius looked at the other side of the table. She saw Lily looking a James for a brief point. "Hey, Potter, Evans is looking at you!"

James turned to her, frantically. "Where? When?"

Sirius laughed. "Just now. Mind you, she was looking disgusted."

James sighed. "She loves me."

Sirius shook his head. Unbelievable.

Peter tapped James in the back of the head. "Hey, James, is the prank still on?

"Right you are, Peter," James said, snapping out of whatever he was thinking. "Okay, here's the plan. Remus and I aim. Sirius, you and Peter can tell us when none of the professors are looking." He looked around at the Slytherin table. "Looks like there's two pumpkins close to Snivellus's head. Remus, you aim for that one." James pointed.

Remus nodded. "Ready?"

Sirius and Peter looked at the teachers. "Now!" they whispered.

"Reducto!" muttered both James and Remus. Their aim was true. However, James aimed for the right one and Remus, misunderstanding James's point, also aimed for the right one. The boys watched in horror as the two jets of light bounced off each other in midair, creating a firework of jets of light flying everywhere. Almost all the pumpkins at the Slytherin end exploded.

"AAAAA!" Bellatrix Black shrieked as a pumpkin above her head smashed into pieces, and sprayed the contents of the shrinking potion everywhere. All the heads in the Great Hall turned to the Slytherin table. Sirius watched in pure satisfaction as her head shrunk to the size of a mouse.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" All the other Slytherin girls were shrieking. The boys were also yelling non-stop. Almost every Slytherin's head had turned to the size of a gumball.

"This is so much better than the food," James grinned.

The whole room exploded into laughter. People everywhere were pointing and guffawing.

"Oh, that was great," Sirius shouted above all the noise. He was clutching his stomach and laughing so hard he thought his lungs would burst. To some degree of pure enlightenment, he saw that Snape's head had also shrunk. He now looked like a greasy baby.

James was laughing too hard to even make a sound. Peter was deliriously happy. Remus just smiled and chuckled to himself.

Dumbledore managed to calm everyone down and restore heads to their normal sizes. He looked not very angry, but still not happy. Everyone knew by now James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were troublemakers, but as they never had real proof, the blame couldn't fall upon them. Dumbledore had always said innocent until proven guilty.

"That was great," James grinned.

"I think now we can truly call ourselves masters of pranks," Sirius laughed.

Even Remus smiled. "Can't argue with you there."

Sirius, James, Peter and Remus returned to their dormitory that night, feeling a little more than on top of the world. They felt invincible. Their first Halloween could not have been better.


	8. Fallen

_November, 1970_

* * *

Fallen

"Another adventure?" Remus asked Sirius incredulously. Sirius nodded happily.

"But that would – I mean – do you really – oh fine." Remus fell into a moody silence, knowing that nothing he said would change their minds.

James beamed at Remus. Peter beamed with him. Sirius was very amused by Peter. Peter was impressed by everything that he and James did. Peter thought Sirius and James were so cool. Then again, they thought that of themselves, being on the egoistical side of things. They liked being looked up to.

Remus shook his head. They always managed to pick their adventures near his transformation dates. Oh. That's right. He still had to tell them about going away to see his "mum".

"Uh guys? I have something to tell you," Remus said.

"What is it?" James said, running his hand through his hair as Lily walked by. Sirius, again, fought the impulse not to laugh. James was obviously distracted. Lily pretended not to notice James, but her friend Marcella waved at James and Lily turned a beet red, determined to not look at James.

"I have to go visit my mum again," Remus said, snapping James back into reality. Remus had a hollow, haunted look in his eye. He wouldn't look at his friends.

"What?" Sirius asked. "Why?"

"Because she's sick, you prat," James said.

"When?" asked Peter.

"Tomorrow," Remus replied.

Sirius nodded. "Fine. But then we have to go adventuring tonight."

Remus groaned, knowing something would go wrong. "Fine."

Not that he could have said anything else anyway.

* * *

Sirius waited until Remus had left for the library to talk to James and Peter. There was something bothering him about Remus, but he wasn't quite sure what it was. It was a nagging feeling...

"So what do you want to talk about?" James asked, leaning against a chair.

"Is something wrong?" Peter asked.

"Guys," Sirius started.

"Can we get out of the library?" James interrupted. "It's quite stuffy in here."

"Fine," Sirius snapped.

The three friends headed out of the library back in the direction of the common room. "So, what is it?" James asked as they ascended the stairs.

"Guys, I don't believe Remus," Sirius said, his face set.

"What?" Peter said. James and Peter came to a dead halt on the stairs.

Sirius stopped walking as well. "You heard me. I don't believe he's going to visit his mother every month. I don't. I think he mentioned his dad being a healer or someone in his family."

"That doesn't mean he's lying to us," James argued.

"Did you see that hollow, haunted look that came into his eyes when he talked about visiting his mother?"

"His mother is deathly sick, Sirius," James said quietly. "If that were me, I wouldn't want to talk about it either.

"Maybe," Sirius said uncertainly. "But don't forget, a relative of his is a healer."

"Well, maybe they aren't very good," James said practically.

Sirius shook his head. "They would put more energy into a family member."

"Or maybe the disease is not curable."

Sirius glared at James. "Must you always argue with me? I'm just telling you my opinions, okay? Something about Remus's story seems really fishy to me."

James sighed. "Look, Sirius, I'm not particularly sure either. But all we have is Remus's word. For now, let's believe him."

Peter nodded.

Reluctantly, Sirius agreed. But as they headed further up the stairs, he couldn't forget the hollow, haunted look that had come into Remus's eyes.

* * *

That night, they once again waited until nine. Then, one by one, they tiptoed out through the portrait hole. The Fat Lady glared at them once again. They just smiled back.

"I should report you for this," she scolded them.

"But you're not going to," Sirius said, smiling charmingly.

The Fat Lady glared at them, but didn't say another word.

"So what are we doing today?" Peter asked excitedly as they walked down thte corridor.

"More exploring," Sirius replied. "This time, we are going to expand our grounds. Literally. Gentlemen, let's trek out."

Sirius ran silently along the corridor leading out of the castle. The other three followed him. Soon they were outside, outside in the fresh and cool evening air.

"Let's go this way," James said, dragging them near Hagrid's hut. They agreed. They saw a light on inside the cabin, but dressed in black robes in the dark of night, they doubted Hagrid could see them. They sneaked around his garden for a while, then decided it was rather boring. The retraced their steps.

"I like the pumpkins," Sirius said, grinning.

"Hungry, are you?" Remus laughed.

"Starving."

"Dinner wasn't too long ago. Wanna go back in and steal food from the kitchens?" James asked.

"Nah, I feel like being outside today."

"This way then," James said. They rounded the school to the edge of the lake. Remus saw the reflection of the moon on the surface of the calm water. It was almost a full circle. He gulped. Tomorrow, at this time, he would be in the shack, dealing with the dead Remus and the newly born monster.

They suddenly thought they saw something moving in the depths of the lake.

"Is it the giant squid?" Sirius asked. "It's cool."

James and Remus came in for a closer look.

"I wouldn't want to go in the laske in this weather," Remus said, shivering.

"I think it would be rather fascinating," James commented.

"Rather facinating?" Sirius said disbelievingly. "What are you, fifty?"

"Shut it," James scowled.

Suddenly, there was a huge splash in the water, causing all four boys to jump.

"Let's go this way," Peter said nervously, dragging them away from the lake. They ran the opposite direction. Panting, they stopped for a rest.

"Well. This has been fun. Nothing we couldn't do in the daytime, though," Sirius commented.

"Oh shut up. This was your idea," James replied peevishly. He perched on a rock and rested. Suddenly, James heard a swishing noise behind him. He stood up to see a branch whizzing through the air at Peter.

"Peter, look out!" James yelled. Too late. A particularly large branch of the Whomping Willow had smacked against Peter's stomach. He doubled over onto the branch.

"HELP!" Peter yelled as he tried to hang on. The branch was swerving like mad, trying to shake Peter off. Peter looked scared to death.

"Peter! Hang on!" James shouted.

"What are we going to do?" Sirius asked. "We can't get any closer to the tree, it could kill us!"

"It's gonna kill Peter if we don't do something!" James yelled frantically.

"HELP!" Peter's screams came from the tree.

Remus's eyes grew wide with terror. He should have known better, he should have known better. He should have sent them in the opposite direction. Why was he so stupid? Peter could get killed! This was his fault. He knew the tree and what it was capable of. Why didn't he pay attention?

Determinedly, Remus tried searching for a stick nearby. No such luck. There was not even a short stick in sight. He wondered how McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey even found one. Heart set, he ran towards the Willow, towards Peter.

"Remus, what are you doing?" yelled James. "Stop!"

"You're going to hurt yourself!" Sirius bellowed. "Come back!"

Remus kept on running. He dodged past a couple of swinging branches. He jumped over one. A particularly nasty branch whacked him in the face. He could feel blood, but he kept going. The only thought in his mind was to reach that knot at the center of the tree, to free the branches and get Peter down before he got seriously hurt. He could hear James screaming for him to stop. He could hear Sirius yelling like a madman. He could hear Peter's screams for help. That was the last thing he heard before a huge branch knocked him in the legs and he fell, unconscious, onto the cool dirt of the night.

* * *

"Do you think he's okay?"

"He has to be. He has to."

Remus slowly opened his eyes. He saw a mass of white. He was in the hospital.

"Remus!"

Remus looked to his left and saw the smiling faces of Peter, James and Sirius. He smiled feebly back. "What happened? Peter, are you okay? I…"

He fell back onto his pillow. Sirius, James and Peter instantaneously looked worried. "So, tell me," Remus demanded. "What happened?"

"Well, James and I thought you were mental," spoke up Sirius. "Running to the center of the tree like that. We thought you were stupid, but the best person we've ever met." James nodded.

"Just as you were hit by that last branch, Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall, who must have heard Peter's screams, came running out of the castle. They both looked livid. Dumbledore with one wave of his wand stunned the tree, helped Peter down, and took you up to the hospital. That's it."

Remus smiled sheepishly. Peter looked at Remus, awed. Peter knew that in some abstract way, Remus had risked his life to save Peter. Peter only got off the tree with a couple of scratches. Remus had a sprained ankle and a huge gash across the side of his face.

Just then, the hospital door banged open. In came Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall. Dumbledore looked very serious - the twinkle in his eye was gone. McGonagall's lips were as thin as paper. Dumbledore conjured up a couple of chairs and sat down beside Remus on the bed.

"First matters first. Mr. Lupin, how are you?" Dumbledore asked Remus.

Remus didn't look at Dumbledore. "Fine, I guess."

"Good," Dumbledore replied. He looked at James, Sirius and Peter, who were all looking guilty and not very pleased. They could tell that Dumbledore wasn't mad. He was disappointed.

"I expected better of you," Dumbledore said seriously. "Three of the brightest students in the year are standing in front of me." He looked at Remus, James and Sirius. "I expected you not to put the life of your fellow student in danger. You did. I'm disappointed. Especially in you, Sirius."

Sirius looked up at the old man.

"I thought you had escaped your family's legacy, which you so despised. I was wrong."

Sirius looked away. This comment stung perhaps more than anything else he had heard in his life.

Dumbledore stood up. "I will leave Professor McGonagall to deal with your punishment." With a glide of his robes, he swept out of the hospital room.

Professor McGonagall looked at them. James could tell she was disappointed as well. "Thirty points from Gryffindor. I expected more of my students."

James, Remus, Sirius and Peter gasped.

"Thirty each," she clarified. There was another chorus of horrified gasps. "And a week's worth of detention for each of you." They opened their mouth to protest.

"But however, Mr. Lupin was brave and attempted to save Mr. Pettigrew here. In case the rest of you don't know, a certain knot at the center of the tree freezes it. Mr. Lupin figured it out. That shows true courage I award him fifty points."

Remus grinned weakly. Professor McGonagall stood up and gave them all one last, searching look. "Potter, Black, Pettigrew, out. I need to speak with Remus about his mother."

James, Peter and Sirius left the room, giving sympathetic looks to Remus. He suspected McGonagall wasn't going to talk about his mom, however. He was right.

Professor McGonagall turned to him after his friends had left. "Was it your idea to go to the Willow?" Remus shook his head.

"We just ended up there. We were running from the lake. We just… ended up there."

Professor McGonagall looked at him one last time before turning away. "Mr. Lupin, make sure your friends don't find out anything from this little escapade. I will be at your common room at four o'clock this afternoon to collect you. Be ready."

Remus nodded and got up from his bed. He got permission from Madam Pomfrey to go back to his common room. On the way up there, he had some thoughts. He was mad at himself. He always looked at himself as the caretaker, if you will, of the group. "I should have paid attention," he said to himself.

"You're mad! Talking to yourself!" a witch in a portrait screeched at him.

"Oh, be quiet," Remus snapped, and ran the rest of the way up to the common room.

* * *

Snape caught up with Lily as she walked across the grounds to her Herbology class. "Hey," he said breathlessly in greeting.

"Oh, hi," Lily said, smiling at him. "How are you, Sev?"

"I'm okay," Snape said. He eyed her carefully.

"What's going on?" Lily asked, concern apparent in her green eyes.

Snape struggled on the verge of speech. He almost looked embarassed. "I really wish you were in Slytherin," he burst out.

Lily smiled sadly and slowed her pace. "Sev, we've been over this," she said quietly.

"I know," Snape mumbled. "But-"

"We're best friends," Lily said, hoisting her books up on her arm. "But I'm not going to go to Dumbledore and ask him if I can change Houses. You should be happy for me, I really like being in Gryffindor."

Snape wrinkled his nose in a look of masked disgust. "But why?" he said roughly. "Wouldn't you rather have classes with me than... than the likes of James Potter and his friends?"

"They're okay," Lily shrugged. "They can sometimes get annoying and egotistical, but they're not...bad people."

"What about that Halloween prank?" Snape demanded. "I'm sure it was them! Who else would do something like that?"

"You're just jumping to conclusions," Lily said lightly. "Madam Pomfrey fixed you guys up in no time, it was a simple potion. Aww, come on, you didn't think that was funny?"

Snape forced a grimace.

Lily sighed. "I have to go to Herbology, I'll be late," she said. "But I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay," Snape mumbled.

"Snape! Over here!" a distant voice called. He turned around; it was Mulciber, grinning crookedly at him.

"Yeah!" Avery called. "We're going to be late for Slughorn's potions class! Stop talking to the Mudblood, let's go!"

Snape mumbled something incoherent. Lily, looking slightly offended, turned her nose up into the air and marched off toward the greenhouses. Snape watched her go, and ran off to join Avery and Mulciber as they all headed down to the dungeons.

* * *

"Remus, it's not your fault, for the last time. We think you're very brave. Gryffindor for life."

Remus smiled at James. "But I feel like it is. I know what that tree is capable of doing. I should have warned you guys."

"It's okay," Peter said softly. He still looked amazed at Remus for risking his life.

"It's not your fault. It wasn't your idea to go out on this little escapade."

"I still feel horrible."

"Don't," James said firmly.

"Yeah," Peter piped up.

"If you're going to blame anyone, blame Sirius," James said, grinning.

"How did you know to prod the knot at the center of the tree?" asked Sirius, ignoring James.

Remus looked uncomfortable. "I heard some people say that they learned how to freeze it last year."

"Oh," replied Sirius, still looking slightly suspicious.

Just then, the common room hole opened, and McGonagall was beckoning Remus to come with her.

"Good luck with your mum," James said.

"Yeah, say hello for us," Peter added.

Remus, too guilty to answer, followed the professor out the door. He reached the Whomping Willow for the second time in two days. After the nurse and professor left him, he sat and waited tensely for the moon to break free and give birth to his monster, leaving his soul to die.


	9. Christmas

A/N: First of all, thank you so much to those who have written reviews for this fanfiction. You guys keep me alive. I love you all.

In answer to Alexa's question: Yes, by now I have absolutely read Half-Blood Prince, because I'm obsessed like that. I may still be fuzzy around some details, so please feel free to point out my mistakes. Now, onto the story.

* * *

_December, 1970_

* * *

Christmas

Remus told his friends that he had to leave for two or so days once again right as the Christmas holidays were coming. Sirius became more shrewd and suspicious of Remus's disappearances. Ignoring James and Peter's comments and protests, he started to record the dates Remus was gone. So far though, he had only one date.

"It'll add up, though, by the end of the year," Sirius said, shrugging.

"You can't just believe him?" asked Peter.

"No," Sirius snapped bluntly. "If his mother really is that ill, she would either have died or gotten better by now. Plus a family member is a healer. She would have someone there day and night. Won't that mean Remus doesn't need to visit him? At least not every month. How about one time in 3 months for a whole week? And why would he be leaving now? Christmas is in three days. Why doesn't he just stay there for the whole vacation instead of coming back? No. He's gone for another reason. I'm going to figure it out."

"Are you sure?" James asked uncertainly.

"He's lying to us," Sirius said. "He just lied to us the other day. When we asked him how he knew to prod the knot, he said that he heard it from someone last year or someone who had learned it last year. That's not possible. The tree wasn't planted until this year. My older cousin Andromeda told me." Sirius slammed down the journal he had been writing the date in. "No. He's gone for something else."

"Alright, we get the point," James said quietly.

"Do you?" Sirius snapped. "You guys think I'm insane."

"No we don't," James sighed. "There's just not enough evidence."

"There will be," Sirius growled.

James and Peter looked at each other, uncertain of what to say. Sirius was always dangerous when he got in a mood like this. All they could do was wait slowly but surely for the storm to pass.

* * *

The day before they were to leave for Christmas vacation, Remus returned. Sirius made a mental note to put the return date in his journal. Remus looked cheerful but tired, as always. There was a gash on his chin. He shot his friends the "don't ask" look.

"How's your mum?" Sirius asked the instant Remus sat down beside them for breakfast.

"Oh, not so good," Remus replied softly.

"Really," Sirius said. Remus was looking uncomfortable.

"Yes," Remus said firmly, avoiding the eyes of his friends.

"Huh," Sirius said, eyebrow raised.

James decided to change the subject. As much as he wanted to help Sirius, making Remus feel bad was definitely not one of their options. "So, Peter, going home for Christmas?"

Peter nodded. "Yeah, I get to see my parents again. Mostly my mum. I miss her."

Sirius shot a quick glance at Remus. He didn't flinch at all at the word mum.

"How about you, Remus?"

"Yeah, I'm going back to my parents too. They offer me a lot of support in my schoolwork and I really want to see them again. Especially me mum," he added slowly. Sirius's eyes narrowed.

Just then, flaps of wings were heard from above. The mail was here. An especially big-looking owl dropped off a letter in front of Sirius. It was a big red envelope with steam coming out the edges.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Finally, a letter from home."

"Uh oh," James muttered. "Howler."

"Open it quickly, it'll explode anyway," Peter offered. Remus stuck his fingers in his ears.

"Just do it," James said. "It'll be over soon."

Sirius gingerly tore the envelope. It exploded in a mass of screaming.

"SIRIUS BLACK! HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU DISGRACE THE NAME AND BE IN GRYFFINDOR? BLOOD TRAITOR! TRAITOR TO YOUR PARENTS AND WHOLE FAMILY! DON'T YOU DARE COME BACK TO THE NOBLE HOUSE OF BLACK THIS CHRISTMAS! STAY AT YOUR CASTLE WITH THE MUDBLOODS AND TRAITORS, SEE IF WE CARE!"

The howler turned into ash before their eyes. Everyone in the Great Hall was staring at Sirius. Sirius didn't seem to care. He started laughing. Soon, everyone went back to eating. He caught Bellatrix and Narcissa's eyes. They were glaring. He, however, gave them a look of pure glee.

"Just heard my dear, dear, loving, calm mother," he laughed. "Guess I won't be going home this Christmas. Good riddance. I'm done with that place. I'd rather be at the castle, alone or not." He didn't look the least bit perturbed. Peter looked at him in awe.

James looked thoughtful for a moment. "You know, Sirius," he said slowly, "if you ever needed a place to stay for the holidays, I'm sure my parents would love to have you. Any of you," he added, glancing at Peter and Remus.

Sirius looked at James and grinned to himself. "Thanks, Potter. Actually, that sounds pretty nice. Show me how a real family functions, right?"

James laughed. "Right. Now go get packed properly while I send an owl to my parents to inform them. Oh, won't they be surprised."

* * *

They were indeed very surprised. Surprised but pleased. They had heard much about Sirius from all the letters James sent. And in the return letters Mrs. Potter never forgot to tell James to change his underwear.

They pulled up to a large house in a Ministry car. Sirius was pleased. He would be spending weeks with his newly found best friend. All through the car ride, Mr. and Mrs. Potter asked him questions about school, friends and life in general. Sirius loved their warm tone, their openness.

Sirius noticed that the house wasn't enormous, but it was pretty big. It was the size of his own home. But walking inside gave it a new light. The inside was warm and cozy. His house had been black and damp. His house had his cold relatives. Here, he had James and his family. He grinned. It was going to be a great vacation.

"Master Potter is home! And Mistress Potter! Please, let Heda take your coats!" A house elf ran up to the family, bowing low.

Mr. Potter smiled at the elf. "Thank you, Heda." He handed his coat to the elf. His wife did the same. Heda caught sight of James.

"Master James is home!" Heda gave James a big hug. James returned it.

"Good to see you again, Heda," James grinned. "Hogwarts cooking can't possibly compare with yours."

"Heda is honored!" the elf squeaked, dabbing at her eyes with a hankerchief. "Heda will make all of Master James's favorites!"

"Yummy," James laughed. "Heda, have you met Sirius?"

Heda turned to Sirius with a huge grin on her face. "Heda had heard great things about Master Sirius! Heda is happy to have him stay." Heda reached out to give Sirius a hug. Sirius looked surprised, but somewhat pleased.

"Come on, Sirius," James laughed, seeing his look. "Let's get you settled."

They trudged up the stairs. "James, didn't your family just free that elf by giving it clothing?" asked Sirius, puzzled.

James laughed. "We don't think of Heda as a servant or elf. She's part of the family. It took her a while to get used to it but now she doesn't even flinch anymore."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Wow."

James laughed. "Something new?"

"You wouldn't believe it if I told you."

James first deposited his trunk in his room, which was full of Quidditch posters. Then, James showed Sirius a guestroom next to his own room. It was rather plain, but it was cozy. It had a single Queen sized bed. The window gave view to a beautiful garden. The cabinets and drawers were shiny and polished. They also weren't black. Sirius looked around and smiled. He turned back to James.

"This feels like home more than Grimmauld Place ever was."

* * *

Life at the Potters showed Sirius what a real family could be like. Mr. and Mrs. Potter loved James and were actually interested in what he was doing. They loved Sirius too, and treated him with the same love and respect as a second son. Sirius was always in a good mood. He felt like he had entered heaven.

"Pinch me," Sirius said to James after a warm welcoming dinner for Sirius.

James laughed. "Yes, this is real. And I don't think you should have mentioned that you love fudge brownies, I swear Heda will make so much of it you will choke."

Sirius grinned. He truly loved his new band of brothers and their family. He was finally entering into a life he always wanted but never had.

Sirius and James spent a lot of time together those two weeks. They played out in the snow. They talked about school and a lot of stupid stuff. James obsessed over Quidditch and how he would be able to try out next year. Sirius laughed at him, but was supportive in saying that there was no doubt he was going to make it. Sirius also had to endure long obsessions over Lily Evans. But all the same, he grinned.

"Won't my family love you? A pureblood with a muggle-born?" They both laughed.

Christmas morning came quickly.

"Wake up, Sirius! It's Christmas! Presents!" James practically pulled Sirius out of bed. Sirius moaned and groaned.

"Okay, I'll watch as you open your presents. Can we do it up here?" he asked, groaning some more. God. He wanted to sleep in.

James laughed. "No! You've got presents too!"

Sirius sprang up. "You're kidding right?"

James shook his head. Sirius smiled.

"Somebody pinch me."

They trudged downstairs in their pajamas. A huge stack of presents was waiting for each of them. Sirius took out the first one. It was a little stuffed, black dog. He smiled at it, them smiled at James's parents, who were standing in the doorway watching the two boys.

"Thank you," he said softly. He would always treasure it. Sirius ripped open other boxes, finding candy, random tidbits, books, and finally a huge box of fudge brownies. He smiled. He had learned to love Heda. He also got a brand new set of Gobstones and Wizard's Chess set.

James was almost done unwrapping his presents. His parents had given him a toy snitch, a book on curses and a new broomstick. He looked at the broomstick in awe. It was the newest Cleansweep 3. James was incapable of speech.

Mr. Potter looked at him and smiled. "For when you get on the Quidditch team next year." James walked over and hugged both his mom and dad, grinning from ear to ear. Sirius could feel himself smiling also.

"There's one more present for you, James," Mr. Potter said, smiling mischievously. Mrs. Potter hit him lightly in the arm.

"Oh Harold, you gave it to him now? Who knows what trouble they'll get into next."

James took the last box in his hands and opened it. It was a cloak.

"Well, try it on," Sirius urged, unwrapping his box of brownies and shoving one into his mouth.

James wrapped the oversized cloak around him. Sirius almost choked on a fudge brownie. James looked around for his own body, then finding it gone, turned to his father. Mr. Potter chuckled.

"It's an invisibility cloak," he said, looking at their faces. "My father had given it to me. I knew I should pass it on to you."

"Thank you!" James went over to hug his dad. Sirius also hugged James's parents. He felt a little guilty about them buying all of this for him. He was about to suggest paying them back.

As if Mrs. Potter could read his mind, she said "Sirius, don't you dare worry about the gifts. You gave James your friendship. These are small trinkets compared to that."

He felt himself break into a huge smile. He looked at James. He had on an identical grin.

An invisibility cloak! Excellent. Hogwarts would have no rules now.

* * *

**Dear Remus,**

**Guess what! James got an invisibility cloak for Christmas!**

**Shut up, Sirius, I was supposed to tell him that. Anyway, isn't that excellent? We can be invisible.**

**Hello, Captain obvious, that's why they're called invisibility cloaks.**

**Anyway, how's your Christmas going? How's your mum? All right, write back!**

**James and Sirius**

**Or**

**Sirius and James**

* * *

Remus smiled as he put their letter in his drawer. He felt good. That means even he didn't have to worry too bad about getting caught every time.

"Remus! Are you okay?" Mrs. Lupin called from downstairs.

"Yes, mum, just reading a letter from my friends!" He momentarily felt guilty about lying to his friends about his sick mum again, but shook it out of his head, confident it was best they didn't find out.

He smiled again, and picked up a new piece of parchment.

* * *

**Hey, Peter!**

**How's your break been going? Good? Alright then.**

**James and Sirius owled me. They said they got an invisibility cloak for Christmas. Isn't that great? Now we can go sneaking and not be caught. Yes, Remus Lupin is agreeing to breaking the rules, but just because it's safer now.**

**Owl me back with any new news, alright?**

**See you in January!**

**Remus**

* * *

Peter read Remus's letter over and over again. At first, he was incredibly excited about the invisibility cloak. His grin then faded. Sirius and James hadn't written him a letter. He put his letter down in disappointment. Why was he always treated like an outsider?

Peter's Christmas hadn't been easy. His father expressed concerns that Peter wasn't in Slytherin. His father loved power. His mother just stayed quiet, unable to argue with her husband.

He had shut himself up in his room for most of the break. He as waiting for an owl, any owl. One finally came. But now he felt his excitement melt.

He was an outsider.

* * *

**Remus,**

**I've been fine, thank you. Christmas hasn't been the happiest affair, and so I can't wait until January!**

**How's your mum?**

**See you**

**Peter**

* * *

"Mum!" Lily Evans yelled as she ran across the platform to meet her mother. Mrs. Evans smiled. She had missed her daughter.

Lily went to give her dad a hug, then realized something.

"Where's Petunia?"

Her mother looked uncomfortable. "She had stuff to do, dear. Don't worry."

Lily looked at the ground. Things with her and her sister had been rather shaky since she started at Hogwarts. She would write Petunia a letter and all she got back was Petunia saying she was a freak. Pretty soon, Petunia had stopped replying and Lily had given up in trying to be friends with her sister.

"Hold on, let me just say goodbye to some people," Lily said. She strode across the platform and gave Marcella one last hug. She then found Snape standing with his trunk beside his mother; they looked like they were ready to leave.

"Sev," she said, and smiled.

Snape turned to look at her, and smiled back.

"I'll miss you," Lily said, giving him a quick hug.

"Yeah, me too," Snape said.

"We can still see each other though, right?" Lily asked earnestly. "We'll just meet at the playground as we usually do."

"Sure," Snape nodded. "And don't bring Petunia."

"I won't," Lily said, smiling sadly.

The car ride back home was quite enjoyable. Lily's parents loved hearing about school and her friends. They were proud of their little witch. Lily was smart and dedicated. Her parents knew that. She sent them frequent owls.

"How's your friend, Marcella?" Mr. Evans had asked Lily.

She had smiled. "Wonderful. Marci is great. Maybe she could come over during the summer."

Lily's mother smiled wanly. Lily caught her look. "What?"

"Lily dear, I'm not sure Petunia would be quite pleased with that."

Lily crossed her arms and sighed. Petunia would never change.

They arrived at the house in due time. Lily half hoped that Petunia would be waiting for her return. No such luck. She went inside and breathed in the smell of her old house. It was just as warm and cozy as before.

Lily spotted Petunia in her room. She opened the door to say hi.

"Hello, Petunia," Lily said nervously.

Petunia didn't look at her.

"How's your year been?"

Petunia still kept her eyes focused on her window, looking out into the open morning air as if it were the most fascinating thing on earth. Lily sighed.

It was going to be a long Christmas.

She could not wait to get back to Hogwarts.


	10. Cloaked

_January-May, 1971_

* * *

Cloaked

Lily, of course, survived the horrible winter. She was back on the train as soon as possible. Petunia hadn't come to see her off. Lily really hadn't expected her sister to, but still, it stung her heart. Grabbing an empty compartment near the front of the train, she took out her Transfiguration book and started to read.

It had only been half a year, but already, the castle felt like home. It was the place she felt like she belonged. She loved the magical atmosphere, and she loved her friends. It was like something out of a fairy tale; she was comfortable.

Things with her sister had gotten a lot worse at home. Lily felt like the vacation was not a vacation at all, but rather a stuggle for her sanity. It felt great knowing that she had Hogwarts to depend on, and that after so much suffering, she would finally be back where she belonged, back home. With all those troubles, Lily was thankful she accepted the letter to Hogwarts. She couldn't imagine life without it.

She and Snape had made bi-weekly trips to the playground to talk to each other. Lily ranted about Petunia, her frustrations, and he listened back sympathetically, though sometimes with a contemptuous look on his face.

"Lily, you really should switch into Slytherin," he had said for the hundredth time.

She had laughed, and had smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry Sev. Really. But I mean, I've made friends, and you've made friends. Not that anyone could ever replace you, you're my best friend," she added quickly. "I think things are better off as they are."

Snape looked at her, then looked down at the grass. "I suppose," he said resentfully. "Avery always tells me that Gryffindors don't ever use their brain, I don't want to see you like that."

Lily had glared at him. "Oh come on, it's Avery," she said, folding her arms. "And don't you think you're being too general? When have you ever seen me be stupid?"

"Oh, I didn't mean that," Snape said quickly. "But, I mean, Potter and Black - "

"I'm nothing like them," Lily interrupted. "You should trust me, Sev, after all we've been through."

"I do," Snape had said.

"Good," she had responded, smiling.

She wondered now if she and Severus would remain as close. She never liked Avery, ever since she caught him trying to cheat in Slughorn's class. She never talked to Snape as often as she liked, but there seemed to be less and less to say. Still, she sought him out. In the moments that they talked she was reminded of their conversations before Hogwarts. She told him everything, confided in him her greatest dreams and biggest fears. Lily sighed. She hoped their friendship would last.

"Lily!" came a squeal from the door of her compartment. She looked up to see the beaming face of Marcella. Lily beamed back. Marcella stowed her luggage in the overhead bin and sat down next to Lily.

"Oh, it's great to see you, Marci! I missed you!" Lily said, smiling widely.

"I missed you too, Lils," Marcella grinned. "Vacation was lonely without you.

"I feel so loved. How's your Christmas been?" Lily asked.

Marcella laughed. "It would be great if it wasn't for Slughorn's essay on bezoars. It took me forever!"

"Oh, come on, Slughorn's not that bad," Lily defended.

Marcella laughed again. "You're only saying that because you're his favorite student."

Lily blushed. "So, how is your family?"

"Spiffy, my sister and brother enjoyed me being back." Marcella was the oldest of three siblings, all of whom were very little, too little to go to Hogwarts for years and years.

Lily sighed. "Wish I could say the same for my sister. She ignored me the whole winter and called me a freak whenever she had the chance."

Marcella's brown eyes were filled with compassion for her friend. She tossed her long, dark hair back. "Well, she doesn't understand you, then. You're great. You belong at Hogwarts."

"But she's my sister," Lily said weakly. "She's been horrible, but... she's still family. I mean, I talked to Severus about it, but he's not surprised - really, that's the way Petunia's always been."

Marcella wrinkled her nose. Snape wasn't exactly her favorite person. He was more often than not rude to her, but he was always more civil around Lily. She could bear him solely for Lily's sake. "Lily," Marcella said gently. "Don't worry about her."

"I know," Lily sighed. "But sometimes... I wish..."

"That you weren't magical, just for her?" Marcella asked sympathetically.

Lily started to nod, but then shook her head. "No," she said resolutely. "I love this place." She smiled at Marcella. "I wouldn't give it up for anything."

Marcella cheered. "That's the spirit!"

Lily shot her a sad smile. "The problem is, we used to be great friends before I got my letter. We used to do everything together. Now, she can't accept me."

"Dear, she's probably jealous," Marcella commented.

"Why would she be," Lily laughed humorlessly. "She spent every single day while I was at home trying to tell me what a freak I was."

"Oh Lily," Marcella sighed. "It's going to be okay."

There was a sudden knock on the compartment door. Snape was peering in at them. "Hi Sev!" Lily said enthusiastically, throwing the door open. "Want to come sit with us?"

Snape looked as if he was considering it. He looked around. Marcella attempted to smile at him, but he didn't smile back. "No, it's okay," he said after a while. "I promised some others I would sit with them...maybe later I'll stop by and visit."

"Oh, okay," Lily said, trying to smile. "Bye."

"Bye," he said, and left. He left the compartment door open.

"He's been acting strange," Lily sighed when he left. "He keeps telling me to switch to Slytherin."

"You can't do that!" Marcella said. "You love Gryffindor!"

"I know!" Lily said earnestly. "It's just...he and I..."

Seeing a saddened look on Lily's face, Marcella decided to change the topic. "You know, Sirius Black is cute."

That definitely got Lily's attention. "What?"

Marcella grinned. "You heard me."

"Marcella Greenwald! You did not just tell me that Sirius Black is cute!"

"I'm cute?" came a new voice from the doorway. Sirius Black and James Potter stood there, looking in on the two girls. The compartment door was wide open. They were wearing identical grins. James was staring at Lily. Sirius was looking straight at Marcella. Marcella turned a deep shade of red.

Lily, however, looked at them with eyes narrowed. "I don't think we gave you permission to come rampaging into our compartment."

James shot Lily a beaming smile. She ignored him.

"You know I'm irresistible," Sirius said, grinning cockily. "Right, Marcella?"

Marcella blushed even deeper.

"Would you lovely ladies mind if we sat down?" James asked charmingly.

"Yes, actually, we would," Lily said coldly.

"Aw, Evans, lighten up," James said, grinning.

"Lighten up?" Lily asked incredulously.

"Yeah," Sirius chimed in.

Lily's green eyes seemed to glitter menacingly. "Black, shut it."

"Is that a yes?" James asked hopefully.

"Potter, you shut up too, you arrogant prat!" Lily said loudly. "Now out! Get out of our comparment!"

"Alright, if you want us to leave, we will leave. We know when we're not wanted. Come on, James," Sirius said, closing the compartment door. James shot Lily one last smile as he headed off. Lily didn't return the smile. Marcella turned into a deeper shade of red as they walked off.

"See what jerks they are?" Lily said to Marcella, who was recovering.

"Actually, no," Marcella replied, smiling. "They're nice to us. They've always been nice to us. I don't see why you're so against the two of them. And James is cute too."

Lily opened her mouth as if to protest, but then stopped, contemplating what Marcella had said. She settled for sulking quietly while Marcella smiled knowingly at her.

* * *

James and Sirius walked to the back of the train, where they met Remus. He was sitting there, smiling at them. James and Sirius sat down beside him after stowing their luggage on the rack.

"Remus! How was Christmas?" James asked.

Remus took it. "Pretty good, actually. We had a nice family dinner. My mum made the best feast ever."

Sirius's eyes narrowed. Since when did a dying mother cook? James seemed a little surprised as well, but overlooked the comment.

"So where were you two?" Remus asked. "I was beginning to think you'd miss the train."

"Did you miss us that much?" James grinned.

"Hardly," Remus said rolling his eyes. "Of course I did! Now, what happened?"

"Well, we were in the front of the train entertaining two lovely ladies," Sirius grinned.

"By lovely, we mean Lily Evans and Marcella Greenwald," James said.

"Wow," Remus grinned.

"I know, amazing, isn't it?" James grinned.

Remus laughed. "I was actually reffering to the fact that Lily actually talked to you."

"Yep, she did," James said proudly.

Sirius choked on a laugh. "If by talking he means Lily snapping at him and telling him to shut up, then yeah, he talked to her."

Remus let out a laugh.

James scowled. "Hey, at least she talked to me, Sirius. I didn't see her talking to you."

"Ah," Sirius laughed. "I believe she told me to shut up. Besides, why should I care? I'm not the one who has a crush on her."

James rolled his eyes. "Prat."

"You know it," Sirius grinned.

"What I really don't understand," James said, frowning, "is why she is friends with Snivellus."

"Snape?" Remus asked.

"Yeah," James said. "I see them around school from time to time, talking. I don't really get it. What does she see in him?"

Remus's mouth twitched.

"Does this give us added reason to curse Snivelly?" Sirius asked, eyes gleaming.

"Apparently," Remus laughed.

"Excellent," Sirius said, with a laugh.

"So James," Remus said, smiling. "I believe you got an invisibility cloak for Christmas."

"Yep," James said proudly. "It was my dad's, but he passed it on to me."

"Wow," Remus said. "That's one heck of a present."

"I know," James grinned.

"Hey, James, speaking of presents..." Sirius shot James a look.

James smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Oh yeah!" He pulled his luggage down from the rack, opened the case, and took out a square-shaped lump wrapped in paper. He handed it to Remus.

"What's this?" Remus asked, surprised.

"Open it," James told Remus. "It's from Sirius and me."

"Happy Christmas," Sirius said, grinning."

Remus tore open the purple wrapping and found a leather-bound book. On it was a title in gold lettering: Werewolves and Other Creatures – A Handbook.

Remus gulped. He looked at his friends' expectant faces, smiling at him. Did they know?

James spoke first, seeing Remus's face. "Well, we thought it was a good present. It seemed that you really loved Defense Against the Dark Arts, and I thought it would help you in class, and we thought you found the subject interesting…" he trailed off.

Remus relaxed. So they didn't know. They just got him something because they knew he was interested in his class. He smiled. "Thank you guys. This is great."

Sirius and James smiled back. The compartment door opened one last time. Peter had arrived, and was smiling at them.

"Peter!" James exclaimed. "We thought you were going to miss the train."

"Nope, I'm still here," he said.

"Good," James beamed. "Well, sit down before the train starts."

Peter sat down, looking distracted.

Remus noticed this. "Peter, what's wrong?"

Peter fidgeted with his hands a bit. "Uh..."

"Out with it," Sirius said.

"I mean," Peter said, sweating a bit. "I don't mean to sound mean or anything, but I – well – feel a little – well…"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "If you don't tell us right now, we are going to hex it out of you."

"You guys didn't write to me," Peter said quietly.

James looked at him in surprise. "We were busy. We knew Remus would write to you. We're sorry. Right, Sirius?" Sirius nodded obediently.

"We were all busy," Remus said quietly.

"I know," Peter gave a smile. "Let's enjoy the view. I can't wait to get back to Hogwarts."

* * *

"Wow!" Remus and Peter stared as James put on the cloak in the deserted common room. James really was invisible!

James took off the cloak. "We own the place now, we're so good. Nobody can catch us if we're invisible."

"We haven't been on an adventure in such a long time," Sirius complained. "For months. Remus said that we had too much schoolwork when we got back to go on adventures again."

"It's the truth," Remus retorted. "But since we're nearing the end of the year, I guess it's okay for us to try our hands at another adventure."

"I can't wait!" Sirius said excitedly. "This time, we'll have the cloak."

"My cloak," James clarified.

"Right," Sirius said impatiently. "Your cloak, our cloak. What's the difference?"

James laughed, amused. "You obviously don't know English very well."

"Hey," Sirius scowled.

Remus was thoughtful. "Well, breaking up that argument, we should do one thing."

"What's that?" James asked.

"Let's see if we can all squeeze under this together, first of all."

"Oh, good idea," James said, laughing. He took the cloak and unfolded it,then slipped under the silvery fabric. Sirius made sure that he was fully cloaked.

"Okay, now, come in, Sirius," James's muffled voice came from underneath the silvery cloak.

Sirius ducked under the cloak. Remus made sure not even a single toe was seen. He ducked under too, grinning widely, after feeling around for the cloth.

Lastly, Peter was left. He too made sure that nothing was seen. He outstretched his hands, closed his eyes and began feeling for the cloak. He had only gone two steps when he tripped over a couch.

Sirius emerged from under the cloak. "Honestly, Peter! Why did you shut your eyes? You can't see us anyway, it doesn't help!"

"Sorry," mumbled Peter.

"It doesn't hurt to close his eyes either," Remus said, emerging from the cloak as well. He patted Peter on the back.

Once they were all in the cloak, they had to try to get to a mirror to test out the real effects. Then, Marcella and Lily came in, laughing brightly about a joke. James sighed. Sirius stifled a laugh.

Hit with a sudden idea, Sirius moved closer to Marcella. The other three followed, thinking he was leading them back up to the dormitory. Sirius got just close enough to Marcella to nudge her lightly.

Marcella gasped. "Lily, did you do that?"

Lily's face was puzzled. "Do what, Marci?"

Marcella shook her head. They headed back up to their dormitory. James, Remus and Peter laughed quietly. There was obviously no need to check themselves in front of a mirror now. The cloak definitely worked.

James sighed, gazing with glossy eyes at Lily's retreating figure.

Remus shook his head, bemused. Peter laughed quietly.

Sirius rolled his eyes, then grinned widely. "Let's go exploring. Tonight."

Peter rolled his eyes. It was always "tonight".

* * *

"Watch it!"

"Ow, someone jabbed my eye!"

"Sorry, mate."

"Ow, Peter, you stepped on my foot!"

"Sorry!"

James sighed, rubbing his eye tenderly from where Sirius had accidentally jabbed it. The cloak was definitely more confined than he thought it would be. One problem that they had was that even though they could kind of see they were going, it was hard to synchronize the movement of four people.

Suddenly, they heard footsteps. The boys stood stock-still. A shadow came out from behind the bend. A shadow belonging to Severus Snape.

James raised his eyebrow, surprised. Peter gave out a shudder of nervousness.

Snape groped around in the air. Sirius stifled a laugh. He was definitely nowhere close to the cloak. After a few minutes of looking incredibly blind and stupid, Snape gave up. It was then that he spoke to the silence.

"Potter, Black, I know you're out here with your little friends Lupin and Pettigrew!" Snape snarled into the seemingly empty air. Sirius stifled another laugh. James's shoulders were bobbing up and down.

Snape didn't hear. "I know it was you who pulled the Halloween prank on the Slytherin table. Malcolm Beddington saw you four sneaking into the Great Hall before the feast. Luckily for you, none of the teachers will believe me unless I give solid proof. But just know this: I'm onto you."

Sirius tried even harder to stifle his laughter. This time, it wasn't enough. Snape heard a tiny snippet of Sirius' laugh and began, once again, to reach out his bony white fingers and try to catch them in the act.

The boys stood silent. They knew that if they all started panicking and moving, there was no doubt that they would fall over and be seen anyway. They waited with bated breaths until Snape gave up a second time.

Snape straightened up. "You think you're so smart, Potter, showing off at Quidditch and god knows what else. I will catch you and your friends, make sure of that."

With that, he turned straight around and stalked off. By this point, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter could barely hold in their laughter. They let out hearty but silent lapse of laughter.

"Who does Snivelly think he is?" Sirius asked incredulously as they moved around. They arrived in a deserted corridor that they've never seen. Throwing caution to the wind, they took off the cloak and started examining the corridor closely for any secret passages.

James laughed. "He has nothing better to do. It's either get us into trouble or slip on his own grease."

"He's pathetic," Sirius spat.

"I think we've landed ourselves with a stalker," James laughed.

"I don't even want to think about Snivellus stalking us," Sirius groaned, disgusted.

"He seems to really hate me," James said thoughtfully. He shrugged. "Oh well. I hate him too."

"He's probably jealous," Remus said quietly.

Sirius let out a roar of laughter. "It's possible, I mean, it's James."

"I know, I'm great," James said, strutting down the hallway and almost bumping into a suit of armor.

"Smooth," Remus said, mouth twitching.

Sirius started spouting off very rude words to Snape. James was listening, agreeing, and adding more insults. Peter was laughing. Distracted, Remus paced around and wished for the warmth and comfort of the common room. Suddenly, a new door appeared on the wall, one that Remus was sure was not there before.

"Guys," he said slowly. "There's a door that's just appeared on that wall." He pointed.

Sirius looked. To his surprise, there was indeed a door there. He looked around. Both James and Peter seemed baffled as well. They were all pretty sure that there had been no door there when they ran into the corridor.

"Strange," James commented.

"Well?" Sirius asked expectantly.

"What?" Remus asked.

"Open it up!" Sirius said impatiently.

Remus shrugged. He went up to the door and flung it open. James, Sirius, Peter and Remus gasped as the contents of the room was revealed. Inside was a complete replica of the Gryffindor common room.


	11. Exams

A/N: Once again, I thank all the readers and reviewers for your support!

* * *

_June, 1971 _

* * *

Exams

"What do you reckon that room was? Some sort of copy room or something?" Peter asked.

Sirius looked up at Peter. "It's possible," he replied.

After seeing what was inside the room, the four boys had been awestruck. They decided to go back to the real common room to discuss the night's adventures.

Remus looked thoughtful for a minute. "You know, I was pacing back and forth in from of that wall for a while. After a while the door appeared. Maybe someone needs to pace back and forth."

James looked doubtful. "Well, that still doesn't explain the theory of the common room. It was an exact replica! Quite scary, if you ask me."

"Why the common room, though? I mean, if there was a replica of the Gryffindor common room in the castle, there must be a replica of every common room in the castle… unless it turns into the common room of the house of the person who enters it…" Sirius stopped talking and sat down quietly.

"The problem is, I could swear that door wasn't there when we arrived in the corridor," Peter piped up.

"It definitely wasn't," James agreed. "We would have checked it out first thing if it was there."

"Yup. Anything to get away from Snivelly," Sirius scowled.

"Amen to that," Remus and James laughed.

The four boys were equally puzzled.

Remus sighed. "Well, we can't just sit here and wonder the mystery of the room, then. We'd better get to sleep. We do have classes tomorrow."

"Always the good boy, Remus," James yawned.

Remus laughed. "You know you're tired."

"Let's turn in for today," Peter said, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"I'm ready to hit the sack," Sirius agreed.

They climbed back up the stairs to their dormitory. As each boy went to bed they pondered the mystery of that room.

* * *

They got up the next morning groggily. They had had very little sleep, needless to say, and could barely walk in a straight line. Sirius, James, Remus and Peter made it to Transfiguration class just on time. Professor McGonagall gave them a stern look.

"As many of you might have known, the final exams are coming up," she greeted them at the beginning of class.

"What? When did this happen?" Sirius said loudly.

The class burst into laughter. McGonagall had a hint of a grin on her face. "Obviously, Mr. Black is oblivious to the currents events in this school. However, if the rest of you aren't that feather brained, you should be studying." She gave James and Sirius a pointed look. They grinned back.

She then gave them each a small cushion and asked them to turn it into a solid box. By now, everyone had figured that James would be the first to accomplish the task. James did not disappoint them. On his fifth attempt, the soft, billowy cushion changed into a hard-edged square box.

As usual, Sirius soon changed his cushion along with Remus and Lily. Peter was looking awed, as usual. McGonagall shook her head. Perhaps they didn't need to study after all.

"Honestly, me, study?" Sirius asked incredulously as they stepped out of the classroom. "I will never see the day."

"Me neither," James grinned. "Studying is for bookworms. No offense, Remus," he added.

Remus grinned. "None taken. I need to study to pass."

"I'm really scared," Peter squeaked.

Sirius shrugged. "I'm not nervous about any of this."

"Confidence is the key," James grinned. "Plus, studying is so boring."

"I wish I could get by like you guys," Peter sighed.

"Aw, don't worry about it," James said. "You'll pass."

Remus laughed. He himself spent hours in the library studying. Peter, who was barely passing every class, usually joined him.

The exams were indeed drawing nearer. All the teachers gave long lectures on the importance of final exams in the beginning of the classes. Remus listened intently, and Peter did too. James and Sirius, however, laughed silently and played games on the corner of their parchment. Lily, catching this, would give them the evil eye. Whenever James caught her doing this, he would smile charmingly at her, receiving a look of pure disgust in return.

"Honestly, Marci, those two are so immature," Lily complained as she walked out of Flitwick's charms class.

"Lily," Marcella said, a bit exasperated.

"I mean, really!" Lily exclaimed. "That James Potter can't go a day without showing off."

"That's because he's good at this stuff," Marcella commented.

"But they're so...frustrating! They completely disregard anything the teacher has to say."

Marcella rolled her eyes. "Well, not all of their friends are like that. Remus is nice."

Lily thought for a moment, then smiled. "Remus is nice, but I don't know how on earth he became friends with those juvenile boys."

Marcella shrugged. "Maybe he sees something we don't."

"They act so… young!" Lily said loudly, throwing up her hands.

Marcella laughed. "Lily, we are eleven. We _are_ young. They're content acting their age. You're content acting as if you're twenty. Let it go."

Lily gave Marcella a look of disbelief, then stormed on ahead to Slughorn's Potions class.

Marcella rolled her eyes again and followed Lily. What a temper those redheads can have.

* * *

Remus had a couple more disappearances in the months before the exams. Sirius made notes in his journal every time this happened. By now, James and Peter had given up on trying to persuade him to just believe Remus. When Sirius set his mind to something, there was absolutely no way to divert him from it.

No matter what Remus said, James and Sirius would not study. While Remus, Lily, Marcella and Peter were constantly seen flipping through various books at night, James and Sirius preferred to sneak around school in James's invisibility cloak or go out on the grounds for a nighttime look inside Hagrid's cabin. More often than not Remus worried heavily about them and what would happen if they got too close to the Whomping Willow, but they had always returned unscathed.

In the final weeks before the exams, the common room was very tense. Emmeline and Benjy, who were studying for their O.W.L.'s, gave severe punishments to anyone who either spoke too loud or made a distraction of any kind. Seeing this, most students either went up to their dormitories to study or down to the library. The dormitory was a better choice. The library was always packed with silent people. Make one noise, just one little sound, and the whole library would gang up on the unsuspecting victim.

It was not a pleasant week.

James and Sirius, when they were not attempting to help Peter understand some of the Transfiguration and Charms notes, sneaked out of the common room to explore more and more. One day, they came back with exciting news.

"What is it?" Remus asked crossly. He had been in the middle of studying Potions when James and Sirius interrupted him. He and Peter were now lying on their beds in the dorm, impatiently waiting for Sirius and James to explain why they had dragged them from their studying.

James gave an excited look. "Remus, you know that room with the exact replica of the common room? Well we found it again."

Remus raised an eyebrow. This was of utmost priority, he thought sarcastically.

Sirius looked impatient. "Well we didn't really recognize it at first. We thought we were lost again. Then we heard somebody coming, so we ran back and forth trying to find somewhere to hide. The door appeared, and seeing as it was probably our only chance of hiding, we ducked inside the door. In it was a storage room with plenty of big boxes. James and I each ducked behind a huge box when we saw the door open, revealing the ugly, greasy face of Snivellus. He was with that seventh year, Lucius Malfoy, to whom I swear Narcissa is madly in love with."

Peter laughed. This time, it was Remus's turn to be impatient. "You dragged us up here to tell us that Snape's been following you? We already know that."

"Once Snivelly and that dirt-faced Malfoy left," Sirius continued, ignoring Remus, "we stepped back outside the door. We recognized the corridor at once. It was the wall opposite that one tapestry showing Barnabas the Balmy trying to teach trolls to dance the ballet."

"So then we realized that it might be a room that gives you what you want, in a sense," James concluded excitedly.

Remus looked thoughtful. Something clicked. "Guys, when that common room appeared, I was thinking how nice it would be to be back in the common room, sitting on a squishy couch by the fire. I suppose that's how the replica of the common room came up."

James beamed. "Excellent! Now we know for sure!"

"Nice," Sirius commented.

"What is the name of the room?" Peter asked.

"Well we went to the kitchens for a midnight snack. On a hunch, James decided to ask the elves if they knew anything about a room that could turn into what you need. They squeaked excitedly and told us that the room was called the Room of Requirement and that all you had to do was pace in front of it three times back and forth, concentrating hard on what you need," Sirius finished triumphantly.

"Wow," Peter said in awe.

"I know, brilliant, isn't it?" James beamed.

"Great. Now that we've got that cleared up, let's get back to studying for the final exams."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Hey, Remus, you should pace in front of that wall and wish for a book on how to lighten up."

Remus laughed. "And you should wish for a book on how to not fail out of Hogwarts. Or rather, how to study without grimacing."

Sirius and James stood up. "We don't want to study and we don't need to," James said confidently. "Stop fretting, Remus."

"Come on, mate, let's go back to the kitchens, I'm hungry," Sirius said before walking out of the room.

Remus shook his head but let them go. He resigned to the fact that they actually probably didn't need to study.

* * *

Snape was standing outside the Gryffindor common room, his arms crossed. _I hope I don't see Potter and his friends_, he thought scathingly._ I would curse the hell out of them this time, they should be scared..._

Before he could finish his thought, he saw Lily heading toward him. All thoughts other than her were instantly erased from his mind.

"Hi!" she said, beaming. She gave him a hug.

Snape looked slightly mollified. "Hi," he said, clearing his throat. "Are you ready to go?"

"Of course," she responded. "Where are you taking me?"

Snape gazed at her. "Somewhere special," he said. "Come on."

He grabbed her hand, and she followed him through the castle.

"Sev, where are we going?" she laughed. They cut through corridors, zigzagging their way up stairs, sprinting through open doors.

"Almost there," Snape said breathlessly. They clambered up another set of stairs. Lily had the feeling that by this point, they were already very high up.

"The Astronomy Tower?" Lily asked, clutching a stitch at her side at they halted. Through the double-doors she could see a familiar balcony, one she had been to many times for classes.

"I don't think you've been here, though," Snape said.

He led her around the side of the tower, past the telescopes that were stationed for students to use during class. There was a hidden crevice there that dipped slightly below the floor, just enough for someone to sit down comfortably, lean their body back, and have a perfect view of the vast expanse of sky above.

Snape lowered himself in first, and then beckoned to her. They were so small that they could both fit with no problems into the crevice.

Lily and Snape sat side by side, leaning back, staring at the stars. Once in a while, Snape would look over and steal a glance at her. Each time he did, his heart skipped a beat. He could see her green eyes glittering as she took the sights in, could see a little smile playing at the corners of her lips.

He loved the harmonious silence - nobody else got to share this moment with her but him.

"This is incredible," Lily said softly, after a while. She turned to look at him. "Thanks for bringing me here, Sev. I really needed this."

They sat, staring up at the twinkling blanket of stars. In that moment, Snape felt as high as anything else in the night sky.

* * *

The exams finally approached them. Everybody except James and Sirius seemed to be overwhelmed with stress, though they learned much of the material they needed to know by explaining it to Peter. In Transfiguration, they were asked to turn a mouse into a snuffbox. James, Sirius, Remus and Lily did it with ease; they passed the practical test and earned smiles from Professor McGonagall.

In Charms, Flitwick watched as they attempted to make a pineapple tap-dance across a table. James came out of the Charms room smiling. Remus came out grinning. Sirius came out beaming. Lily came out giddy and full of chatter. Peter came out looking white and pasty.

The written Charms exam was no problem for Lily. She was up and out the quickest. James and Sirius were confident after the exam. Remus kept diving into his book bag to check an answer when the exam was over while Peter was a ghostly green.

In Defense Against the Dark Arts, they went up to the front of the room one by one as Professor Dent made them deflect some minor jinxes he threw at them. James dodged all of them with ease, as he had been training for Quidditch the whole year. Sirius started jinxing the professor right back, deflecting the professor's jinxes and managing to jinx the professor himself a couple of times. Remus placed plenty of well-cast shield charms to deflect the jinxes, as did Lily. Peter, however, got hit multiple times, and when they were out of the classroom his legs were wobbling like jelly.

The written could not have gone better for Remus. He was dead sure he got all the questions about werewolves right, and knew exactly what a boggart would do, even if they wouldn't be facing them until the third year.

Making a Forgetfulness potion was no problem for Lily. Her potion was a misty white by the end of it, and Slughorn gave her a beaming smile as she left the room. James, Sirius and Remus were done soon after. Peter came out of the room last, in hysterics. His own potion had been a murky green.

History of Magic was the longest and dullest exam. They sat for long hours answering questions about bloody goblin wars. James thought that he forgot some of the chief goblin's names, but other than that they did okay.

"Finally!" James exclaimed after History of Magic. "Man that was dull. How about all the questions on Urt the Unfine? That was boring."

Sirius laughed. "I think it rather went well for me. Let's relax and not think about the exams."

"Easy for you to say," Peter groaned. "I know I messed all of them up! I'm not going to get past first year!"

"Patience," Remus said. "Peter, don't worry. I'm sure you did fine."

"We tutored you day and night," Sirius said. "You can't have _not_ passed."

"You'll be fine," James said reassuringly.

"I sure hope so," Peter sighed.

The Gryffindor first years were in a wreck of nerves for the next week. On the day the exam results were to be posted, Peter was so pale he looked incredibly sick. However, the results were not nearly as bad as he thought they would be.

James, Sirius, Remus and Lily were at the very top of the list. James scored over two hundred percent on his Transfiguration exam. Remus scored over a hundred percent in Defense Against the Dark Arts. All the Gryffindor first years passed every subject. Peter was so elated he didn't get held back that he whooped and celebrated, though he just barely passed every subject. James, Sirius and Remus were happy for him, although James and Sirius often credited themselves for making sure Peter passed school at all.

Sirius was still talking to James and Peter about Remus's disappearances. By now, Peter just tuned him out and James pretended to listen while secretly thinking about Lily.

The last day of school was both a sad and happy event. Due to James, Sirius, Lily and Remus's excellent performances in classes, the end of year feast was celebrated amidst red and gold banners. Snivellus and Lucius were looking particularly glum about this, no doubt they thought that Slytherin would once again win the House Cup.

Surprisingly, Sirius got a letter from his parents an hour before the train as to arrive.

"What does it say?" asked James, stuffing a pair of socks into his luggage bag.

Sirius looked stunned. "They want me back at the house for summer."

"What?" James asked loudly. He already told Sirius he was welcome to spend the summer at the Potter house if necessary.

Sirius shrugged. "I guess I've got to go, don't I? I can't think of a reason they want me back, though."

James looked let down for a little bit, then grinned at Sirius. "Well, my house is always available if you need it."

Sirius grinned back. "Thanks."

* * *

Remus, Sirius, James and Peter found a compartment near the back of the train. They claimed it "their" compartment. They sat down together. James looked out the window.

"I'm going to miss this place," he sighed.

Remus laughed. "James, you're going to be gone for what, two months? Cheer up!"

"Plus, you're going home to parents who love you and actually care, which is more than I can say for where I'm going," Sirius added with a scowl.

"Exactly," added Peter. "We'll see each other soon. We can floo, right?"

James smiled a little. "Right."

They spent the remainder of the train ride pigging out on chocolate frogs and playing Wizard's Chess. While Remus challenged James to a rematch, Sirius flipped open the book of curses the Potters had given James for Christmas.

"This has some excellent stuff," Sirius exclaimed, looking at one jinx to make your enemy trip every time they took a step.

Peter laughed. "Maybe the Potters should watch what they give their son the next time."

"Never," Sirius said, clutching the book tightly. "James, we can use this to hex Snivelly out of London. You know that, right?"

James grinned and smashed Remus's bishop. "I don't think that's what my parents had in mind when they gave me that book, but I have to say, that is one promising use of the book."

Remus rolled his eyes. "I guess Snivellus should watch his back."

"You said it," James grinned.

They all laughed, and tried to enjoy the rest of the ride home. After what seemed like another ten minutes, the train rolled to a stop.

"Already?" Peter moaned.

"I feel the same way," Sirius said.

The four friends exchanged brief embraces and went to their families. Remus walked over to a kind-looking woman and man. James was busy greeting Peter's family, but Sirius noticed Remus's family. His eyes narrowed. Wasn't Remus's mum supposed to be deathly ill? Yet here she was, standing on the platform, not looking the slightest bit sick.

Mr. Potter was there with Mrs. Potter and Heda. They waved to Sirius. Sirius waved back before turning to his own scowling family. In light of his misery, he forgot completely about Remus and his mum. He trudged out of the train station, following his parents with a depressed look on his face. James looked at him one last time, and was surprised to see the loathing and hate lodged on his best mate's face.

"Get into the car," Mr. Black growled, shoving his son into the back seat.

"I can help myself, thanks," Sirius snapped.

"You shut up and do what you're told," Mr. Black hissed back.

Sirius felt like cursing something, and hoped that his anger wouldn't make him do illegal magic. In his eyes, this summer did not look promising at all.


	12. Back to the Castle

A/N: I've been reading through my chapter again, and I've noticed the chapters tend to get longer as the story goes on. I'm not quite sure if this is a good thing or not, but I'll stick with it. A special thanks to KailyKiss for your reviews and encouragement. Thanks again to all who are reviewing, you guys rock!

* * *

_July - September, 1971 _

* * *

Back to the Castle

Sirius was in a state of misery the whole summer. It turns out the only reason his parents wanted him back was to put some "Slytherin influence" on him. He ignored his family and shut himself in his room, waiting for owls from Remus, James or Peter. They did not disappoint him. Sensing Sirius's utmost misery, they took the liberty to write out every detail of their summer lives.

**Sirius:**

**Wow, summer is quite dull without you! Wish you could be here. I know your parents forbid you to leave the house, but I wish you could floo here anyway. My mum and dad keep asking how you are doing, and I keep telling them that you are dying slowly.**

**Remus and Peter came to visit a couple of days ago. We ran around the house for a while, yelling random things. Remus said Heda makes the best cake ever. My mom also made us some weird root plants that was supposed to make us grow or something. We threw it away as soon as she turned around.**

**So how's your summer been? Now, don't hex me! I know, rhetorical question. Hey, don't let the family get you down. You'll always have Remus Peter and me as family. We would never abandon our friend.**

**See you in September! Can't wait!**

**James**

Sirius folded the letter up and stuck it back in the envelope in which it had came. He felt himself smile a bit. It felt good knowing he had friends to count on. He pulled out a new piece of parchment.

**James,**

**Yes, summer's been horrible. My parents are being stupid, stupider than they usually are. Actually, the whole Black family's been horrible. This summer reeks. I can't wait to get back to Hogwarts.**

**How are Remus and his mum? Now don't give me that look, I was just wondering if he said anything. By the way, thanks for sending over the emergency food and the book of curses. I'm thinking I should try and practice it on my parents, but I don't feel like getting expelled. Heda makes the best chocolate fudge, tell her that for me.**

**I'll see you out of the rat hole.**

**Sirius**

"Sirius?" someone said, knocking on the door. Sirius walked to the door and pulled it open. In his face was the smiling face of his favorite cousin Andromeda, who was already out of Hogwarts.

Sirius smiled back. "Want to play some Gobstones?" He held out the handsome gold set he had gotten from the Potters at Christmas.

As they played, Sirius felt that maybe there was some hope for the Black family after all, starting with Andromeda.

* * *

September came. Sirius and his brother, Regulus, were sent to the train station together. Sirius's parents gave a farewell hug and some presents to Regulus. Sirius didn't even bother sticking around. Like his parents would give him something.

He clambered onto the Hogwarts Express, which was pretty much just as empty as it had been last year. As usual, the train to Hogwarts meant escape. This time, though the Hogwarts express was empty, his heart wasn't. He knew he would be seeing his old friends again.

Regulus passed his compartment near the back of the train after a while. Sirius shot him a dark look while Regulus ignored him. Sirius narrowed his eyes. Stupid kid. There are better things to do than become dark arts infested.

Peter arrived next. "Sirius!" he squeaked upon entrance. Sirius's face broke into the first true smile all summer long. He helped Peter put up his luggage.

"How's your summer been?" Sirius asked Peter.

"Pretty good, pretty good," Peter said. "We went on a little vacation to France. It was a really nice place." His face darkened a bit.

"My dad didn't talk to me much. My mum was my comfort through the trip."

Sirius looked sympathetic. "Well at least you have one parent out of two. Everyone I looked at in my house gave me horrible looks every time I came into the room, except my uncle Alphard and my cousin Andromeda. I keep telling the rest of them that if they keep doing that, their face might get stuck that way forever."

Peter laughed. The compartment door suddenly opened. In the doorway stood James, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"James!" squeaked Peter.

James stowed his trunk in the luggage rack. "Hey, Peter." He sat down. No sooner had he sat down than Remus walked in the door, looking tired but happy to see them again.

"Remus!" squeaked Peter, sounding more and more like a mouse. Remus also stored his luggage in the rack, the turned and sat down next to James.

"How was summer?" he asked Sirius.

Sirius rolled his eyes and went on a rampage about just how horrible his family was. James, Remus and Peter listened patiently.

"Well, very interesting," Remus commented when Sirius had finally shut up. "How about yours, Peter?"

Peter told them all about the romantic little France with the cute cafes and the nice bright lights. "It was nice," he breathed when he finished.

"Right," Remus said, smiling. No sooner had he opened his mouth than James went into a long, winding story about flying through the air on his broomstick and feeling the wind in his face.

"Honestly we wanted to come and save you, but my mum and dad thought it would be rather inappropriate," James explained to Sirius.

"Right," Sirius said, imitating Remus. "So tell me, Remus, how was your vacation?"

Remus laughed. "Same old, same old. My mother is getting better, I think. She doesn't look that pale anymore."

"That's great news, mate," James said, patting him on the back.

Just then, the food trolley stopped by. The boys pooled their money and got a humongous stack of licorice wands, Bertie Bott's every flavor beans and chocolate frogs. As Remus reached out to give his coins to the cart lady, his robes pulled out over his arms and revealed a large, deep gash.

"Ouch! What happened to you arm?" Peter asked, trying to take a closer look.

Remus withdrew his arm and hid it back under his robes. "Uh, I tripped over the stairs."

Once more Sirius's eyes narrowed. All this time he'd known Remus, he had never known him to trip over anything whatsoever. He opened his mouth to require Remus more, but just then the compartment doors were thrown wide open. In the doorway stood Severus Snape, Bellatrix Black and Regulus.

Sirius stood up hastily and drew out his wand. Snape, Bellatrix and Regulus laughed.

"You, my dear cousin, dare challenge us? Oh look, it is indeed your traitorous brother, Regulus. You were right about him and his weak little friends. My, looks like your time in Gryffindor has severely addled your brains," Bellatrix sneered.

Sirius launched at her, but Remus held him back. "Let me go," he said in a dangerously low voice to Remus. Remus stared him straight in the eye but did not let go.

James stood up angrily, pulling out his wand.

"I don't remember inviting huge amounts of grease into our compartment," he sneered at Snape.

Snape's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You watch what you say, Potter."

"Are you giving me commands, Snivellus?" James asked in a mocking voice.

"You're not worthy to give the lint on your shoes command, you slimeball," Sirius snarled at Snape.

Peter whimpered near the back. No one noticed.

"Let's go, Bellatrix, Severus. These blood traitors and muggle lovers aren't worth our time," Regulus spat.

Remus had to use all his strength to keep Sirius from strangling Regulus. With one last vindinctive look, Bellatrix, Snape and Regulus walked out of the compartment. Once they had left, Sirius rounded on Remus.

"WHY DID YOU HOLD ME BACK?" Sirius exploded. "I COULD HAVE KILLED THOSE DAMN LITTLE…" A string of very unpleasant words came out of Sirius's mouth.

"Sirius, stop," Remus said calmly.

"DON'T TELL ME TO STOP," Sirius yelled.

"Calm down. We need to talk about this is a rational manner," Remus said quietly.

Peter let out a whimper.

"Sirius, calm down, mate. They're not worth it," James said quietly, jumping to Remus's defense.

"YOU DON'T TELL ME WHEN MY OWN COUSIN AND BROTHER ARE WORTH IT OR NOT!" Sirius roared.

"Sirius," Remus began, realization sinking in.

Sirius glared one last time a the three of them, then loudly stormed angrily out of the room.

Peter sat, stunned. Remus was looking at his feet, obviously feeling a bit guilty.

James sighed, and ran his hand through his hair. "Remus, it's not your fault. When Sirius gets like this, there's no controlling his emotions."

"I feel like it's my fault," Remus whispered.

"It's partly my fault too, then," James said decidedly.

Remus looked up at James. "Have you ever seen him in a temper like this?"

James thought for a moment. "Not really," he admitted. "But I've seen him get in a bad mood. All you have to do is wait for the storm to pass."

Remus looked back down at his hands. "I didn't know that was his brother and cousin."

"You wouldn't since Sirius never talks about his family. He's only mentioned having a brother once to me." James sighed again.

"I guess we just wait," Peter said quietly, sinking back into his seat.

* * *

Sirius did not turn up again the rest of the train ride there. Remus suspected he was sulking in the bathroom. He showed up when the train stopped to collect his book that he had been reading, then stormed away before Remus could say a word. Peter, James and Remus glanced warily at each other. This year was not turning out well.

They found Sirius sitting alone in a horseless carriage, and clambered up to join him. Sirius didn't look happy, but he didn't insist on kicking then out either. The ride to the castle was quiet and tense. Nobody talked at all, but Remus and James kept exchanging glances at each other.

During the Sorting Sirius sat moodily beside James. During the feast, he stabbed at his food with his spoon and refused to eat more than a couple of bites. James took this situation as serious. Sirius was usually craving food. Sirius asked Emmeline for the password, and headed up to the common room as soon as the feast ended.

Remus and James stayed behind as Peter went to the library to check out books before term starts.

"You should go talk to him," James said to Remus. "You're better at calming people down and talking."

Remus sighed. "James, you're his best friend. He won't listen to me."

"Yes he will!" James argued.

"James, I pretty much made him mad in the first place. You can take his mood. I'm more easily offended and hurt. Please?"

James sighed this time, giving in. He nodded. He and Remus headed back up to the common room.

"Sirius?" James knocked on the dormitory door. He heard a grunt behind it. James sighed, remembering the first day on the Hogwarts train.

"Sirius, open up, or I'll be forced to open it for you." There was no answer behind the doors.

James raised his wand resignedly. "Alohomora!" The lock sprang open. He couldn't push the door open, no matter how hard he tried. He had a shrewd suspicion that either Sirius himself was blocking the door or he had moved some furniture to form a blockade.

James raised his wand again. He had to get inside. "Reducto!" The door was blasted inward and dust rose up everywhere. When the dust cleared, Sirius was sitting on his bed, eyes wide in shock. A part of their dresser drawer was blasted back.

"Reparo," James muttered, pointing his wand at the dresser. He then raised the door back up and put it on its hinges. He turned to look at Sirius, who was now facing him with a dangerous look in his eye.

"I don't remember asking you to blow the door off my dorm, Potter."

James looked at him squarely in the eye. "It's my dormitory as much as yours."

"Don't be stupid. I can hex you right now and here if you don't get out."

"Shut up," said James bluntly.

Sirius's eyes widened in surprise. James had never told him to shut up before.

James decided to go on, now that Sirius wasn't speaking. "Sirius, you're being rather stupid about this whole thing. Look, Remus is sorry he interfered, but we were just trying to keep you out of trouble. Now you're biting everyone's heads off. You're losing the people who care about you, people who are on your side."

Sirius stood up. This time, there was no anger in his eyes. They were full of sorrow.

"My younger brother!" he yelled. "All set to follow in the footsteps of Snivellus and Bellatrix!"

He picked up his journal and threw it across the room. "DOESN'T HE SEE THAT HE'S GOING TO BECOME SO DEEPLY INFESTED IN THE DARK ARTS IT WILL MUTILATE HIS BRAIN? I'M TRYING TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT, JAMES, NOT WHAT'S EASY! It's not easy," he said weakly, slumping back on his bed, defeated.

James sat beside him. "You care, don't you."

Sirius looked saddened. "I do care. And yet I don't know why. I hoped, always hoped he would be smart enough to be different from the rest of them, like me..." his voice trailed off.

"He's your brother."

"No, he's not." Sirius straightened up and gave James a weak smile. "You, Remus and Peter are."

James smiled back.

"James?" said Sirius, calming down.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry. And thank you."

James walked across the room and gave Sirius back his journal.

"Always."


	13. Go Lions

_October, 1971 _

* * *

Go Lions

James, Sirius, Peter and Remus slipped back into life at Hogwarts easily. As usual, James and Sirius slacked off, only doing their homework when Remus tells them to. The workload was getting harder, but to Sirius and James, it was just a series of new challenges.

"How do you do it?" Peter moaned for the fifth time in a row. He himself got almost none of the spells and charms they were required learn in class.

"I already told you," James laughed. "Natural talent."

"How about you?" Peter asked Sirius.

"Same," Sirius grinned.

"Jealous?" James laughed.

"Very," Peter said, grinning.

They walked towards Potions class with Professor Slughorn. Having come out of an especially vigorous Transfiguration class, Peter was fraught with worry about not being able to pass second year. Sirius spotted Snivellus with Regulus along the way. Lily was talking to the both of them, though she was glancing at Regulus with eyes slightly narrowed.

"Honestly, what is she doing talking to him?" James said, bewildered, glaring at Snape. "What does she see in him? He's a greasy git."

Remus's lip twitched.

"I don't know," Sirius said, grinning. "But that gives us one more reason to curse him."

"Amen to that," James smiled devilishly. He saw Lily walk away from the two and into the potions classroom.

"Hey Snivelly, get out of our way," said Sirius scathingly as they approached Snape and the dungeons.

Snape whipped around, face full of fury. "Shut up."

"Move it, will you?" Sirius scowled. He pushed Snape out of the way.

"Don't push me, Black," Snape snapped.

"Ooh, I'm scared now," James said mockingly. "Is Snivelly going to curse us? I'd be more scared of slipping in the grease from your hair."

Some fellow classmates around James laughed heartily.

"Shut it, Potter. Stop calling me that," Snape hissed.

Sirius merely smiled. "What's wrong, Snivellus, scared?"

Snape's face contorted into a twisted smile. "You, Black, and your little friends? Never."

Regulus smiled sinisterly as well. "Give us a reason, any reason, and I swear we will."

James and Sirius and Remus faced Snape and Regulus. Their face showed no fear, only hate.

By now a rather large crowd had gathered around to watch the fight. Snape raised his wand, eyes glittering maliciously.

"Tarantallegra!" he yelled, aiming his wand at James.

James dodged the spell. Snape yelled something else, slashed his wand in the air, and James felt something sharp graze his arm. He looked down at it. It was bleeding freely.

Thankfully, it was not his wand arm that had been injured. "Locomotor Mortis!" he yelled, pointing his wand at Regulus. Regulus's legs sprang together, and he fell over. Snape looked angrier than ever.

"Petrificus Totalus!" he cried. James's arms and legs sprang together and he fell on the ground with a resounding thud. He couldn't move at all. Peter squeaked, ran up, and dragged James away from the line of fire.

Remus aimed a spell at Regulus, who was now regaining the use of his legs. "Rictusempra!" Remus yelled. Regulus started laughing uncontrollably, collapsing against the wall.

Then, Remus felt something hard hit him on the face. He fell on the floor, dazed. Snape was glowering triumphantly, wand pointed still at Remus.

"Oh, you'll pay for that one," Sirius growled menacingly. "Incendio!"

The flame charm managed to graze the side of Snape's robes, setting it on fire. Snape, looking livid, flapped his arm and put out the flame. Regulus stopped laughing long enough to shoot a curse straight at Sirius, knocking him straight on his back. Sirius fell against the wall with a little groan. Remus jumped in front of him while Peter whimpered quietly, scared.

"Ha," Snape said, face full of loathing. Regulus just kept on laughing.

Sirius sat up groggily, snarling, and aimed his wand at Snape. Before he could say a spell, however, Snape had parried the curse, sending Sirius sprawling back on the floor.

Suddenly, a booming sound interrupted the fight. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Professor McGonagall strode up to the five boys, angrier than they had ever seen her. She looked at the panting Snape, the laughing Regulus to the defiant Remus, to the groggy Sirius on the floor.

Professor McGonagall strode up to Remus and Sirius, livid. "Mr. Lupin and Mr. Black. I'm very disappointed in you two. Fifty points from Gryffindor." Remus gasped, looking slightly horrified. Sirius, however, looked at Snape as if hexing him was worth losing all the points in Gryffindor.

"And you, Mr. Snape, and you, Mr. Black. I expected better from you two, too. Fifty points from Slytherin, and a week's worth of detention." Snape sneered at Sirius one last time before turning on his heels, leaving McGonagall and the circle of onlookers, that by now had disappeared.

"That sonofa -" Sirius snarled.

"Enough," Professor McGonagall said coldly. "What happened here?"

"We cursed Sniv - Snape," Sirius said resentfully.

"Why?"

"Well, he cursed us, so we fought back," Remus said, sounding close to tears.

"Git," Sirius spat.

Professor McGonagall looked at the four boys. "Enough, Mr. Black. Mr. Lupin and Mr. Black, a week's worth of detention for both of you."

"Wait, Professor," James said quietly, holding his injured arm. Remus had revived him of the full body bind.

James looked down at the floor. "I was involved. I tried to hurt Sniv – Severus. The others had nothing to do with it."

Professor McGonagall looked surprised for a minute, then recovered herself. "I'm refusing to believe the others had nothing to do with it. Good try, Mr. Potter. But for your honesty, no points will be taken from Gryffindor." James's heart lifted. "But you will join your classmates in detention."

She walked away, shaking her head. James could have sworn he saw the faintest trace of a smile on her lips.

The other three boys stared at James. "Are you mental?" Sirius asked loudly. "You could have stayed out of trouble!"

"I know that," James snapped. "But it's only fair, isn't it? Oh wow, now we're late. I missed my chance to say hi to Lily." With that, he ran off in the direction of Slughorn's class.

Remus shook his head. "Yep, James is definitely mental.

* * *

News of the duel traveled fast. All the Gryffindors were praising James, Sirius and Remus for standing up to the Slytherins. The Slytherins, in return, got more and more nasty towards James, Sirius, Remus and even Peter, who really didn't have too much to do with the fight.

"Where did Snivellus learn all those hexes and jinxes?" James asked, rubbing his arm. Though Madam Pomfrey had mended it, it was still a bit sore.

"He's an expert at curses," Remus said grimly. "It seems that he knows even more curses than most of the seventh years."

"I always knew there was something sinister about old Snivelly," Sirius said. Peter nodded in agreement.

Their week in detention went slowly. Peter often complained that he didn't have anyone to help him with his homework. Sirius always told him to go blame Snivelly. McGonagall put all of them in separate detentions. James and Sirius were shocked and angry to hear this. It was the first time they had to face detentions alone.

"Thank goodness that's over," Remus sighed on Friday night. He had just come back from his detention with Slughorn, who made him clean out all the nasty cauldrons stacked up in his storage room. Now he was sitting in the common room with James, Sirius and Peter.

Sirius laughed. "You had it easy, Lupin. I had detention with McGonagall herself. All the live animals in her storage room smelled horrible. They kept doing their business on my robes. She made me clean and bathe each and every one of them, including the rats and snakes. It was utterly horrible."

"Come to think of it, you do smell," James commented, laughing. Sirius socked him lightly on the arm. "Well not that detentions were completely enjoyable, but mine weren't bad. I had to follow Hagrid around while he tended to the plants. I sprayed various creatures. He even took me into the forest once where he seemed to be conversing with a giant spider of some sort. It was freaky, but so cool."

Remus shook his head. Only James could have thought a dangerous giant spider was cool.

"Hey, did you look at the notice board?" Peter piped up. "The Quidditch tryouts are in two days!"

James immediately sprang up from the couch and ran to the notice board. He came back, grinning widely. "Excellent! There's two new positions open, Keeper and Chaser!"

Peter grinned. "That's great! You've always wanted to be Chaser!"

"I know!" James said giddily. "I'm so excited. That would be so great if I made it!" He bounced his feet, looking like a six-year-old begging for candy.

"It would be," Remus smiled.

"I don't know about Keeper, though," James said thoughtfully. "I think the only position open to me is Chaser."

"What if you don't make it?" Peter asked.

Sirius smacked him lightly on the back of the head. "Of course James will make it."

James grinned. "Thanks."

"Can we go see the tryouts?" Remus asked.

"Yeah," James said. "You guys should go."

"Your personal cheering squad," Remus laughed.

Sirius laughed as well. "We'll be there for you, mate. Right now I have to go talk to Sturgis Podmore. He owes me a sickle for smuggling him snake venom from McGonagall's animal room." Sirius stood up and ran after Sturgis, who just walked out of the common room.

James shook his head, and looked at Lily. She was conversing with Marcella, face animated and bright. He sighed yet again. It was Remus and Peter's turn to shake their heads.

* * *

Two days later on a Saturday came the day of the Quidditch tryouts. James awoke nice and early. He snatched up his Cleansweep and ran out onto the Quidditch pitch for a warm-up run before the tryouts. He was too excited to eat, though Remus had tried to drag him down to breakfast.

"You need to eat!" he had said firmly.

"Ah, let him be," Sirius had said easily. "If he was any more excited he would drool all over himself.

The Gryffindor Quidditch team showed up after about half an hour, along with certain spectators. James saw Sirius, Remus and Peter beaming at him from the stands and waved back. About four other people clutching broomsticks showed up, all looking nervous. James was nervous too, but he tried his best to hide it. After all, this was his only chance this year to make the team.

"Hello and welcome to Quidditch tryouts," a sandy-haired boy greeted. "My name is Connor Eitan. I'm a Seeker and I'm the Quidditch captain for the Gryffindor team this year." He smiled at the nervous faces. "I'm a seventh year myself. We lost a great Keeper and a great Chaser, and I hope one of you will be able to fill in their shoes. Now, we will introduce ourselves. Trey, you can start."

"Hello, I'm Trey Rider," a blonde-haired boy next to Connor said, smiling mischievously. "I'm a sixth year Beater. You'll love the team. Connor's pep talks are so long and boring they jolt you to action right away."

"Hey," Connor said defensively. Everyone laughed.

A girl next to Trey laughed lightly. "Oh shut up, Trey." She turned to the five hopefuls. "Hello, I'm Lea Kaori. I'm a sixth year and I play a beater also." She received shocked looks from some of the hopefuls, and laughed again. "Amazing isn't it? A girl playing Beater? Well I've gotten quite used to the weird looks people give me."

Connor smiled at her. "Lea has amazing accuracy and she's one of the bravest people I've ever met." Lea blushed to the roots of her brown hair.

"Stop flirting, you two," a new voice said. The team laughed. "I'm Erimentha Tiernan, Eri for short," a girl with dark eyes and short dark hair said. "I play Chaser. I'm a fifth year also."

"Eri rocks," Trey grinned. "She is completely focused ninety-nine percent of the time."

"Interesting," Eri said sarcastically. "Tell me, what happens the other one percent of the time?"

"You're looking at me, the unbeatable beater."

"Oh, shut up, Trey," Eri said, rolling her eyes. "If this is a ploy to get me to go out with you, it's not working."

Everyone laughed.

Finally, they revolved to that last person on the team. He was tall, thin and a bit awkward looking, but James could tell right away that he was brilliant on a broomstick. He reminded James of himself, in a way. "Hello, I'm Liam Harrelson, and I play Chaser also." Liam's brown eyed sparkled. "I'm a fourth year, the youngest on the team. Hopefully that won't be true anymore."

The team laughed. "Okay," Connor said, clapping his hands. "We have the position of Keeper and Chaser open, but we would like to see you play some other positions as well. Let's see. There are five of you. Good. Okay. Potter, Fleta and Tyson, take the position of Chasers," Connor read from the list. "Kramer, take the position of Beater. Lach, take the position of Keeper."

They five hopefuls dispersed into their positions. During the practice stint, they let out a Bludger and the Quaffle. James never dropped the Quaffle, and scored numerous times, earning himself smiles from the team and cheers from the stands.

"Rotate!" yelled Connor, observing the game on his broomstick.

James took the position of Keeper. He only let the Quaffle in once. More cheers from the stands.

"Rotate!" yelled Connor again. James played Chaser two more times before finally becoming a Beater. The Bludger sped towards him and he smacked it with the bat, sending it in the direction of Trey.

"Sorry," he yelled as Trey barely dodged it.

Trey laughed. "No Beater for you, Potter!"

After everyone got a chance to play the positions, the team joined the scrimmage. James looked around at the competition. A girl by the name of Flora Fleta was horrible at flying; she kept colliding into her teammates. A boy named Michael Lach couldn't aim to save his life. However, James thought the other two people were pretty good. He scored and scored, while never forgetting to pass. By the end of the tryouts, the team was beaming at him.

"Thank you, everyone, you did great. The results will be posted in the common room next week," Connor announced.

James breathed and picked up his broomstick from the ground. Sirius, Remus and Peter ran down the stands to join James.

"You were great!" squeaked Peter excitedly as the three halted to a stop in front of him.

"I'm just glad that's over," James laughed. "I was nervous and excited."

"You didn't look it," Peter said.

"I do hope I make the team," James said. "I have nothing to do most of the day."

"Speak for yourself," Remus laughed. "You and Sirius here don't need to study."

"True," James shrugged. "But I hope I'm on the team."

"You were great!" Peter squeaked again.

"Peter's right," Remus agreed, smiling. "You're definitely a shoo-in."

James smiled. "I am pretty good, aren't I?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Your head's big enough, Potter."

* * *

Snape slid next to Lily at breakfast the next day, rudely shoving Marcella out of the way as he sat. Marcella frowned, but didn't say anything.

"Severus," Lily said in surprise. "Hi!"

"Hi," he said shortly. "I want to talk to you, we haven't talked in a while."

"Me too," Lily said, putting down her fork. "Are you okay? I mean, I heard what happened between you and Regulus and the idiots sitting over there..." she jerked her head in the direction of James and Sirius, who were having a contest to see who could fit the most sausages in their mouth at one time.

"Oh that," Snape said, waving his hand away impatiently. "That was nothing."

"It's not good, fighting in the hallways like that," Lily said, voice low. "It's four of them against you, you could really have gotten yourself hurt."

Snape looked slightly angry. "I can take care of myself," he snapped.

"Of course you can," Lily said quickly. "I know you can. I just don't want to see you get into trouble, that's all."

Snape surveyed her carefully. She blushed slightly under his gaze.

"Hey, why don't we take a walk after breakfast?" Snape said. "I know a couple of good places within the castle that are worth exploring."

"Oh, I'm not sure," Lily said apologetically. "I promised Marcella I would go over some notes with her. We were going to work on our homework together."

"Can't you do that another time?" Snape said impatiently.

"Hello, I'm sitting right here," Marcella cut in, her eyebrow raised. Lily shot her an apologetic look.

"Sev, I'm sorry -"

"Lily, it's okay," Marcella interrupted. "Go ahead, okay? We'll go over our homework some other time."

"Are you sure?"

Marcella nodded.

"Great," Snape said, looking pleased. "I'll see you soon then." He stood up, swung his legs over the bench and headed back to the Slytherin table.

"I'm really sorry about that," Lily said pleadingly to Marcella. "I know he can be a bit rude at times, but we are - well, we go way back."

"Lily," Marcella said gently. "I've held my tongue about him. I know that you guys are childhood friends, and I know what he means to you. But to be perfectly honest, he's kind of a jerk."

"No, he's alright most of the time," Lily said in Snape's defense.

Marcella shrugged, and let the subject drop. "If he makes you happy, then I can't object."

Lily smiled. "Thank you."

* * *

James couldn't sleep for a week. He was entwined in a mood of both nervousness and excitement. Finally, the fateful day came. He waited on the sofa beside the notice boar until he saw Connor walking up. He ran over to him excitedly. It was around six in the morning and pretty much no one was up.

Connor saw James's face and laughed. He put up the piece of parchment slowly and agonizingly, as if to torture James.

"Hurry up," James said impatiently.

"Nah," Connor laughed. "This is too much fun." When Connor finally stepped back, James bounded forward. The piece of parchment read:

_Keeper: Perry Tyson_

_Chaser: James Potter_

"Yeah!" James yelled loudly. He put his hands over his mouth, aware that he might have just woken up half of Gryffindor.

Connor laughed again. James turned to look at him. "You know, James, you fly very well. You were our first choice for a position. Mind you, we had to debate on whether to put you in Keeper or Chaser. We decided Chaser because Perry Tyson was pretty good as Keeper." Connor smiled. "I think you'd be great."

"Thanks," James said, happy he had gotten a compliment from the captain himself.

"We have practice next Monday night. Be there," Connor said before walking off.

"I will," James called after him.

The excitement of making the team finally hit James like exploding fireworks in July. He leaped up into the air and danced before the fireplace, fully aware that if someone came down the stairs right that second, he would look very stupid indeed. But he didn't care. He bounded up the stairs to the dormitory and threw the door open.

"Guess what?" he cried into the room, where his three dorm mates were sleeping.

"What?" asked Remus groggily.

"I've made Chaser!"

"Good job," Peter said tiredly.

"I'm excited. Aren't you excited?"

"We're super excited," Remus groaned. "Super... excited..."

"Now you guys can watch me play at all the games," James said happily.

"That's great, Potter," said Sirius grumpily. "Now let us go back to sleep."

James laughed. Suddenly, he realized just how tired he himself was. After all, he had been deprived of food and sleep for the whole week. Realizing that his friends were fast asleep again, he himself dove into his bunk bed and slept soundly.


	14. Realization

A/N: Yay, I get to answer some questions. This author's note is kind of long, so skip it if you wish. It does have important stuff, though.

Wind: I think James was a chaser, at least that's what J.K. Rowling said in a scholastic interview. I know it was seeker in the movie, but I'm pretty sure she said chaser for James... I'll go check that...

Nietta: I have read the sixth book, but for the whole R.A.B. thing... it's really difficult to pinpoint exactly what that whole thing was about. Regulus does seem like a candidate, but we can't be sure yet... I might just leave it out, just because I'll probably mess up really bad. Maybe I'll put it in. I'm still far from that, so you can comment on that if you'd like.

I constantly read the interviews that people give J. as I intend to follow the books as much as possible. I learned a lot from a specific mugglenet/leaky cauldron interview. Apparently Snape has been loved. Apparently Sirius never had a true girlfriend; he was too busy. J.K. also said that Harry's grandparents (both Lily's parents and James's parents) died of old age. Lily was supposedly a very popular girl, and quite a catch. I plan to try and incorporate this in the story, but as of right now I have no clue as to who Snape was loved by... If anyone has ideas, feel free to post.

Anyways, enough of my blabbering, on with the story!

* * *

_November, 1971_

* * *

Realization

"I have to go visit my mum again," Remus announced Monday at breakfast.

"I thought she was getting better," stated Peter.

Remus looked down at his food. "No, she's not… the disease came back again and now she's really in a bad condition."

James patted Remus on the back. "Don't worry about it, Remus. She'll be fine."

Breakfast ended, and the day went by without any out-of-the-ordinary events. James had his first Quidditch practice at three in the afternoon.

"You'll be fine," assured Remus. "Remember, they chose you out of the other four people to play Chaser, so there's no need to worry."

James laughed. "Wow, I was picked out of five people. Really makes me feel great."

Peter patted him on the back. James grinned at him, then set off for the Quidditch pitch with his Cleansweep in hand.

James arrived at the pitch just on time.

"About time, Potter," said Trey, grinning at him.

"Connor was about to throw a hissy fit," Lea said, laughing.

"I am not a hissy!" a new voice interjected. James looked to his left to see the face of Connor smiling back at him.

Connor brought out the trunk with the balls. "Okay, initiation ceremony. Perry Tyson has been accepted onto the Gryffindor Quidditch team as Keeper in his third year at Hogwarts." Connor beckoned Perry forward and promptly made him hold two Bludgers, one in each arm. James tried hard not to laugh, knowing it would be him next.

"Perry, put these Bludgers back in the box," commanded Connor.

Perry's face showed a struggle, but James couldn't tell whether it was against tears or laughter. He fell over soon, and Connor dove on top of the Bludgers, pinning them down.

"You have to be able to do this so that when you become Captain, you can wrestle these nasty little blighters," Connor said, panting. He forced them into James's arms.

"James Potter has been accepted onto the Quidditch team as Chaser in his second year at Hogwarts."

James almost lost balance twice. He had a skinny frame and the Bludgers were just really heavy. He managed to pin one back in its place in the box before the other one flew off.

"Excellent show, Potter," Connor said, smiling at him. "You're the first in many years that's even been able to do one. Right." Connor clapped his hands. "Now let's get down to business. Mount your brooms."

James kicked off from the ground, feeling the fresh afternoon air in his hair. He went higher and then dove down rapidly to meet his teammates.

They started with the basic team drills without the Bludgers. Lea and Trey batted around some balls on the grass with their wooden bats.

James and the rest of the team flew above them, playing as they normally would.

"Over here, James," yelled Eri as she streaked past him toward the goal. James threw the Quaffle toward her and she caught it without even looking at it. James was stunned. Would he ever be this good?

Eri passed the ball to Liam, who promptly passed it back to James, who sent it soaring straight into the center goal.

"Perry, keep your head up!" Conner yelled.

"Sorry!" Perry moaned. James smiled. Perry reminded him of Peter right then in the nicest way.

* * *

"How was Quidditch?" Remus asked distractedly as James returned to the common room, hair flying in all directions.

"Pretty good, actually," James said, grinning widely. He then launched into an extremely long tale about how he had managed to score these fantabulous goals with only one leg on his broom.

"It was great," he sighed happily, finally collapsing on a couch near the fireplace.

Peter and Remus laughed. Remus was still looking distracted.

"Worried about your mum?" James asked sympathetically.

Remus nodded.

Sirius by now had deducted by his amazing detective skills that Professor McGonagall came to get him at around four in the afternoon in the winter and around five in the other seasons. It was almost wintertime, so Sirius guessed the professor would come at five.

At promptly five o'clock, Professor McGonagall climbed through the portrait hole. James, Sirius and Peter, who were waiting with Remus, all waved goodbye as Remus followed McGonagall out through the portrait hole.

Sirius eagerly took out his journal and recorded the date.

Peter sighed. "Sirius, give it a rest, will you? Maybe Remus's mum _is_ sick."

"No!" Sirius argued stubbornly.

James shot Peter a look that plainly said, "drop it."

Sirius moodily went back to examine the journal, hoping for some clue. So far, every time he's analyzed the dates, they've had nothing in common, no particular rule whatsoever. The days of the week kept changing, the dates kept changing, and nothing seemed to stay put.

James took up his duty and started tutoring Peter. They were learning some various charms in class and Peter had mastered none. James was helping Peter with simple growth charms. He had nicked some various plants from the greenhouse, ones that were plain and couldn't bite the owner, and had given them to Peter.

"Come on, Peter, you can do it," sighed James for the tenth time. "Just concentrate and say the incantation. It's honestly not that hard."

"I'm trying," Peter said, face screwed in concentration. "I just…can't…do it!"

"Yes you can," James said, now thoroughly exasperated. "The first step is believing, as corny as it seems. Honestly, if you don't even _think _you can do it there's no way –"

"I'VE GOT IT!" yelled Sirius. A couple of first year girls walking by sped up and huddled closer together in fear.

"What have you got?" James asked, half annoyed, half rabidly curious.

"Remus disappears every twenty-nine days," Sirius said triumphantly.

"Right. That would mean…" Peter raised an eyebrow.

Sirius thought, then slumped back in his chair. "I don't know."

James looked at him. "Honestly, I'm happy you're so brilliant with numbers, Sirius, but I don't see a connection. Maybe he really does go to see his mum and on a regular interval also, something like twenty-nine days.

Sirius sighed. "It's not that easy, James. I can't just believe it. There's too much evidence leading to the fact that it's not true."

"Maybe –"

"There's no maybe, James!" Sirius said, clearly sounding frustrated. "I'm not like you! I can't believe everything everyone says, you know, I can't just simply believe the best in everyone. I know Remus is not visiting his sick mum, that's what I know!"

He stood up angrily. "Maybe being a Black means I have to believe something that doesn't shine, believe that one of my best friends is telling us a lie. Any day I would disown that. But I'm still a Black, whether I like it or not. That means I have my suspicions."

With that comment, he stormed up to the dormitory and out of sight.

Peter and James exchanged a look. They knew what they had to do, wait for the storm to pass.

* * *

By the next day Sirius was back to his easy-going self. He apologized numerous times to Peter and James. They forgave him with ease.

"It's not that we don't believe you, Sirius," James said, on his way to Defense Against the Dark Arts with Sirius and Peter. "In fact, what you said is really reasonable. We just hate to believe that Remus could be lying to us." Peter nodded.

Sirius looked at them warily. "Me too. But that's why I have to know. I have to know what's so important that he would hide it from us. We're his best friends!"

James shrugged. They walked into the classroom, which had had redecoration issues ever since school started.

Professor Dent had retired, saying the job completely wore him out. In his place was a witch named Professor Hopkirk. She was actually a decent teacher and started out the first day of class very much like Professor McGonagall with a blunt speech and a behavior code. They Gryffindors had walked out of her classroom muttering that they didn't need another McGonagall.

Today, as they sat down, she told them to take out their books. "Today, we will finish our unit on kappas and continue with our unit on recognizing various dark creatures. To recap, we learned that kappas are water dwellers with webbed hands that resemble monkeys. Can anyone tell me why they are dangerous if you choose to go into water areas? Yes, Mr. Potter."

"Kappas will attempt to strangle wanderers in its pond," James replied, looking more at Lily than he looked at Professor Hopkirk. Lily didn't see him.

"Very good, Mr. Potter. Five points to Gryffindor."

She flipped through her own book.

"I think that's all we need to cover about Kappas for now. Next year you will have to learn how to actually tackle them. Moving on."

She flipped through her book again.

"Can anyone tell me the special body feature of a grindylow? Yes, Ms. Evans."

"A grindylow has long brittle fingers," Lily said, putting down her hand.

"Good girl, take five points for Gryffindor."

Lily smiled and turned around, to where James was staring at her. She turned back in disgust. Marcella, sitting next to her, laughed silently.

While Professor Hopkirk went on about grindylows, the green sea creatures with brittle fingers, Sirius flipped nonchalantly through his copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. He stopped at a particularly nasty picture of a werewolf transformation. They hadn't gotten far on werewolves, so far Professor Dent had only taught them the obvious; they transform on full moons. They weren't going to fully study it until the end of their third year.

Sirius was naturally curious. He looked at the transformation diagram and felt his body lurch a bit.

"You okay?" Peter asked, noticing this.

Sirius nodded and his eyes scanned the page.

_A werewolf when transformed is one of the most feared beasts in the world. All trace of human awareness is gone and the werewolf will attack any witch or wizard, including the werewolf's best friends. However, the werewolf only exists about once a month, when the moon is full in the approximately twenty-nine days of the lunar cycle._

Sirius read the passage again, eyes narrowed. Twenty-nine days. Why did that sound so familiar?

He drummed his fingers on the desk quietly.

Then it hit him, and his heart felt like it stopped beating. Everything made sense.

Remus.

Remus was a werewolf.

* * *

Sirius walked out of the classroom in a daze. It seemed like the world was twirling. His vision was blurred, and he couldn't make anything of anything. Everything was confusing, except for one thing clear on his mind.

Remus was a werewolf.

James and Peter noticed Sirius dozing off more than usual in class and at first ignored it. But when James looked at his friend again, he noticed that Sirius eyes were troubled, clouded by a mist of what seemed like hurt, confusion and anger rolled into one. Something was wrong.

"Sirius, are you okay?" James asked as they stepped out of the classroom.

"Not really," Sirius replied. He beckoned to James and Peter. "Come with me, I need to tell you something."

James and Peter exchanged a nervous glance together before following Sirius up to their dormitory. Lucky for them, it was lunchtime, so they wouldn't be missing any classes.

"What is it, Sirius? We're hungry," Peter said jokingly, waiting for a hint of a smile from Sirius's face. It didn't come.

Sirius's face was stony. "I've found a reason for Remus's disappearances."

James closed his eyes. "Please don't tell me it's something bad."

Sirius took a deep breath, and found to his surprise that his voice shook violently. "Sorry, too late for that. You need to know this. He's a werewolf."

James and Peter sat in complete silence, staring at Sirius. Finally James broke the silence.

"Are you sure?" he asked weakly.

Sirius nodded, face still stony. He pulled out from his bag his copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, opened it up to the passage he had book-marked, and thrust it at James and Peter. They read the passage as he took out his trusty journal.

"Every twenty-nine days the full moon comes," whispered James, eyes wide open. He looked up and Sirius, who was flipping through his journal. "Oh God."

"That doesn't prove anything, right?" Peter said hysterically, sounding more scared and nervous than stubborn.

"Yes it does, Peter!" Sirius said angrily. "It all makes sense! Those random gashes on his body! Remus doesn't trip often, and I have a hard time believing a ground could make a mark like that. Those haunted look that comes into his eyes when Professor Dent or Hopkirk talked about werewolves! Have you not noticed, not even for the tiniest second, that he always looks scared of the moon and always becomes withdrawn, pale and moody when the full moon approaches?"

"Hang on, I remember that look in his eye when we gave him that book on werewolves for Christmas. It was scary," James said, realization dawning on him.

"Are you sure?" whimpered Peter meekly.

Sirius handed Peter the journal. "I recorded every date since right before Christmas last year. Take a look for yourself. Every twenty-nine days." Sirius took the journal back from a wide-eyed Peter, who was gaping in disbelief.

Peter whimpered. The three boys sat in silence for a while.

"WHY REMUS?" Sirius suddenly exploded. "WHY HIM? WHY IS HE A WEREWOLF? WHY?" Sirius threw the battered journal across the room where it hit the wall with a loud smack. The binding broke, sending hundreds of pieces of parchment floating everywhere.

Sirius picked up his quill and threw that, too.

"Sirius," Peter started, but stopped speaking at a look from James.

Sirius angrily grabbed a chair and chucked that, too. It hit the wall with a loud bang. He could hear commotion coming from next door; no doubt they were wondering why there were thumps against the wall.

"WHY REMUS?" Sirius screamed. "HE'S A WEREWOLF! He's a werewolf," Sirius said again weakly, slumping onto his bed. "It's not fair." He punched his pillow, defeated.

"Life's not fair," James said softly.

Sirius laughed harshly. "How many times have I heard that?"

James walked over and sat down next to him. Peter stayed standing, perhaps out of shock.

"Remus is still our friend," James said firmly. After all he'd been through with Remus, after all Remus had done for him, James was not about to turn his back on a friend. He sent a silent message to Sirius. He hoped Sirius would get it too.

"But he's a werewolf," Sirius said as if though arguing.

"Yeah, but he's our friend." James's feeling of sickness grew. Was Sirius this way? Was Sirius really going to abandon Remus?

"He's – I – wolf."

James stood up abruptly and looked at the top of Sirius's head. "Does it matter?" James felt disappointed. He felt like Dumbledore must have felt when he caught them sneaking out onto the grounds at night.

Sirius looked up. "James –"

"I don't want to hear it Black," James interrupted. James felt a sudden surge of anger. He wanted to smack some sense into Sirius. Why couldn't he see that Remus hadn't changed at all? Why couldn't he understand that this piece of information did nothing to change Remus since the first day they met him?

Sirius winced. James almost never called him by his last name. Hearing it now made the pain in his heart ten times stronger.

"Remus is Remus," James continued. "He's been a werewolf all this time but to us, he's never truly been a werewolf. He's been our friend. I'm assuming your reaction is the exact thing he hoped to avoid while at Hogwarts." Sirius winced again. "I would never abandon him, as he would never abandon us."

"Me neither," Peter piped up.

"Look, we're not stupid people. We would know if someone were truly horribly evil and whatnot. Remus is not. He's one of the best people I know, and just because of some wolf's mistake we're going to abandon him? I stay by him."

Sirius concentrated on his shoes. James shook his head in disappointment and disbelief. He wanted to grab Sirius around the shoulders and shake sense into him. He didn't do it. He turned to leave.

Thoughts swirled around Sirius. He saw in his mind Remus helping Peter, Remus helping him fight Snivellus, Remus cheering on James at the Quidditch tryouts. Sirius realized that through this entire time, he never thought of Remus as anything other than Remus. Would that change now? Remus had stayed the same. Sirius couldn't abandon him just because he knew something new about him.

"Me neither," Sirius spoke up as James's hand reached for the door handle.

James slowly turned and smiled at Sirius. Sirius smiled back, and he knew they were thinking the same thing. To them, Remus was in no way, shape or form a monster; he was their friend.

* * *

"So now we face the prospect of telling Remus," James said, munching on a piece of toast. It was breakfast the next morning and they had roughly half a day before Remus returned.

"This is the part I'm dreading," Sirius sighed.

James nodded in agreement. "It must be important to keep it a secret if he didn't even tell this to us. We're his best friends! I wonder how many people know about it."

"Dumbledore knows, that's for sure," Peter said between bites of pancakes."

"No kidding," James said, rolling his eyes. "Okay. When does Remus come back?"

"Remus returns at around three in the afternoon," Sirius said without the faintest trace of doubt. He picked up a sausage and bit a large portion off. James fought the urge to laugh. Sirius was back to his old self.

Peter laughed. "Wow Sirius, you really were obsessed with Remus," he said jokingly.

Sirius laughed also. "Just think of it as friend-obsessed."

"Which is why Sirius should tell him," James said.

"What? No, Sirius will not tell Remus," Sirius argued back. "Sirius is not exactly a speech-delivery person like James Potter, you know."

"Point taken," Peter said. "James should do it then."

"Hey Peter, why don't _you _do it?" Sirius said sarcastically.

Peter reddened and muttered something about "not his idea".

"I think Sirius should do it," James said, looking at Sirius.

Peter and Sirius both stared back at James.

"Fine! I'll do it!" James said crossly. "If I screw up, I'm blaming you two."

* * *

Remus returned to the common room at promptly three in the afternoon. He just had a long rest, but he was still tired. He looked at his left arm. It was still bleeding a little. Madam Pomfrey hadn't been able to heal it completely.

He found the common room empty of his friends. Usually they were there waiting for him when they didn't have class, and Remus was pretty darn sure they didn't have class at this particular time of day. He frowned.

Shaking his head slightly, he went up to the dormitory to get some books so he could catch up on all the work he missed. As he opened the door, he saw James, Sirius and Peter sitting there.

"Hey guys," Remus said, smiling. He bent down to search for his wand. He couldn't find it anywhere. "Have you seen my wand?" Remus asked, straightening up. He looked at his friends. Suddenly he noticed that their smiles were rather forced.

"What's wrong?" he asked nervously. James, Sirius and Peter were still smiling forcedly.

"Remus, please have a seat," Peter said nervously. He beckoned Remus to sit on his bunk bed. James silently closed the door and stood against it.

Remus sat down obediently, now thoroughly worried. "Okay, who died?" he said jokingly. He hoped that at least they could smile at him for real. The forced smiles were completely freaky. No such luck.

James took a deep breath from where he had been standing. "Okay. Remus, now, don't get offended or anything, but I think, well we think, well we've been doing – no, wait, no I haven't, no, Sirius has been doing, no actually we were all curious, uh no."

Sirius looked at James in exasperation. He heard James rattle on and on with fragments and sentences that made absolutely no sense. Remus was looking beyond confused, sitting there listening to James blabber on about what seemed like nothing at all. Sirius couldn't take it anymore.

"Remus," he interrupted. "We think we know your secret. Are you a werewolf?"

Remus turned to face Sirius, a look of complete horror on his face. Terror shot through him. They knew. How could they know? He felt his legs go weak. His palms turned sweaty and his face paled. They knew. He was trembling and he knew it. He just hoped they couldn't see it.

_Please say you're not,_ Sirius begged silently. _Say that we're all insane idiotic morons and that you've been visiting you mum every month, because she's so near death and you're so scared for her. Please._

The words didn't come. Sirius hadn't expected it to. One look at Remus's face told him everything he needed to know.

Finally Remus opened his mouth to speak. "Yes," he whispered.

Sirius was jolted yet again. He knew it was true, yet it was something completely different when it came out of Remus's own mouth. It was true. Remus was a werewolf.

James stood in shock. He couldn't feel his body. "How?" he finally managed to squeak out, sounding hilariously like Peter. He felt sick. All this time he had been complaining to Remus about Quidditch and Lily. How could he worry about such trivial things when Remus was going through all this?

Remus felt tears stabbing at his eyelids, waiting to pour out. He held them back. Trembling, he started to speak.

"Well now that you know, might as well know the whole story," Remus said monotonously. He sighed and again felt the tears stabbing at him. He wished the tears would go away. It was making his nose itch.

"I was around six years old when I received the bite. I live near the woods, as you know, with lots of trees and a lot of room to play around in. A savage wolf bit me. Apparently my dad had angered him in some way, so he chose to target me instead. On a full moon night, he came out of the trees." He shuddered, then continued. "My parents took me to St. Mungos and tried everything possible to either make me completely human again or make my transformations less horrible. My aunt is a healer. She also tried everything for me until she passed away a couple of years ago."

Remus took a deep breath and wiped the oncoming sweat off his face. "I was so excited when I got my letter to Hogwarts. My parents wrote to the old headmaster, Armando Dippet, to see if I would be allowed in because of my condition. Dippet rejected my parents' plea. I think it truly broke my mother's heart; she had always wanted me to go to Hogwarts. Dumbledore, however, was sympathetic. He told me to meet with him after the sorting feast to discuss what I would do every month.

"Every month I would be smuggled into a safehouse to transform. The transformations hurt terribly. I had only myself to bite and scratch, as there were no humans available. I was miserable. My aunt and family used to talk to me outside the doors during my transformations at home. They brought out me inside the wolf, and at times I almost knew what was happening. My mind was less wolfish, and I was sometimes even able to gain control. Here I black out and when I wake up I'm covered in scars, bruises and blood."

Remus stopped. He could feel the eyes of his friends upon him. If they were still his friends, that is. There was complete silence in the dormitory. Remus could hear trees rustling outside.

Remus realized they weren't going to speak. He had lost his only friends. He dreaded the coming of this day, but he had to deal with it. Right now, he had to get out.

He walked towards the door, where James was standing, still looking at Remus.

"Move," commanded Remus.

James stood his ground.

"Move!" said Remus, this time near hysterical.

Still, James stood still.

"Damn it, James! Move it! You got what you wanted, the truth!" Remus laughed darkly. "Everyone knows now, Remus Lupin is a werewolf! I expected you guys to abandon me, so this is no big surprise. I don't want people looking at me the way you're looking at me now, as if I'm some kind of monster! This is why I didn't tell you! Now MOVE!"

Remus tried to shove James aside, but James stood firmly against the door.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" yelled Remus, shaking uncontrollably. "You've gotten the truth and probably some good laughs by now! Move it, James! LET ME OUT!"

The tears that jabbed against his eyelids finally spilled out. Remus felt hot liquid sliding down his face, blurring his vision. He stepped back from James and collapsed onto his bed, still feeling tears slide down his face.

"Remus," he heard James's voice. He looked up. James's expression was not one of hate, anger or fear. It was of disbelief and disappointment.

"Remus, did you really think after all of this we would just leave you?" James's voice said again. Remus thought he was hallucinating.

"W-what?" Remus said, looking back down.

"Yeah, honestly Remus. You being a werewolf changes nothing. You were a werewolf from the first day we met you, and you've never been anything but a great friend to us. Do you honestly think we are shallow enough to abandon you in your time of need?" This time it was Sirius's voice Remus heard.

He forced himself to look up. "You guys mean it?" he whispered, hardly daring to believe it. They didn't abandon him. He felt another surge of tears spring up into his eyes. This time, they were tears of happiness.

Peter smiled back at him.

"Thank you," Remus whispered weakly, smiling through a fog of blurry tears.

He could just make out the outline of Sirius smiling back at him.

"You're our friend, Remus. No matter what."

For the first time, Remus truly believed him.


	15. Holiday Festivities

A/N: Wow, I was a complete wreck after that last chapter. I wasn't sure many would like it... anyways, I'm still a wreck, but I'm better now.

Wind: I checked again and I know J.K. said Chaser for James. Yet it makes no sense if he was playing with the snitch... hmm. Maybe I can incorporate both.

Nietta: Haha, I can't see Sirius as someone with a real relationship. He was popular and handsome, according to J.K., and I might make him have some minor dates, but no real romances for Sirius because I want to follow J.K.'s guideline for the whole story. As for Snape... the only person I can think of is his mom. :)

Thanks to all the reviewers and readers, again.

* * *

_December, 1971_

* * *

Holiday Festivities

"James, you idiot," Sirius said the next morning on the way to class. They climbed up the stairs and walked in the direction of History of Magic. Peter and Remus were already there; they had had a head start.

James laughed. "Remind me again why I'm an idiot?"

"I thought you had a heart attack when you were trying to tell Remus what I found out about him! You kept stuttering and making nonsense… I felt bad for Remus so I had to step in."

Sirius expected James to look angry upon being called an idiot. James, however, smiled knowingly and walked faster to History of Magic. Sirius trotted behind him, thinking.

During History of Magic, Peter stared off into space. Remus was the only one that took notes, and he, being the good-natured person he is, let James, Sirius and Peter copy his notes. James, Sirius and Peter barely passed the class thanks to his note taking. Professor Binns was beyond boring.

James fell asleep within the first hour or so. He had another Quidditch practice in the afternoon; he figured he needed his sleep as much as possible. Sirius stared off into space like Peter, thinking of the events of last night.

He thought he had gotten over the fact that Remus was a werewolf. He thought he had, but apparently he hadn't. This time, however, it was different. He was filled with a new drive, a new determination. He was going to help Remus with his transformations.

He thought about his conversation with James before they had gotten into the classroom and something seemed to hit him. Something always seemed to hit him these days. Sirius was getting too good at figuring stuff out.

"James, you prat," Sirius said once out of the classroom.

"This hurts, Sirius," James said, laughing. "Being called an idiot and a prat in one day? I don't think my pride can handle that."

Sirius ignored him. "You did it on purpose," he said accusingly. "You knew I would start speaking to Remus if you stuttered and made no sense. You knew I would step in and tell him instead."

James just smiled.

"Why?" asked Sirius.

"Sirius, I think you were the one Remus was worried about," James replied.

Now Sirius was completely confused. "What?"

"You're the temperamental one. You're the moody one that flies off the handle when even the littlest thing happens. In a way, I wanted you to be the one to tell Remus. I wanted to make sure that you were actually going to be okay with it. If you're okay with it, Remus can deal with anyone."

James walked faster, leaving Sirius behind to his confused thoughts.

* * *

"How did you guys do it?" Remus asked suddenly while the four boys were studying that night in the common room. Actually, James and Sirius were more on the side of trying to help Peter.

"Do what?" asked James distractedly, flipping through the Charms book with Peter.

"Figure out my, uh, condition," Remus dropped his voice to a whisper, looking around to make sure no one else was listening.

James laughed. "Your furry little problem."

Peter laughed as well, abandoning his Charms essay. "Me and James did nothing. It was all the work of Sirius."

Remus looked surprised. "Were you that suspicious?"

Sirius smiled darkly. "Being a Black does have certain advantages."

"So how did you manage it?" Remus asked, shutting his book. He wanted answers. It had been bothering him for the whole day how his friends did it. No one else had ever figured it out. Then again, Remus had never let anyone get too close. At least not this close.

Sirius frowned, pondering his answer.

"Well," he said, "promise me you won't get offended by anything I say."

Remus nodded. "I promise."

Sirius sat back and put his hands on his head. "Well, first of all I don't think I every believed you were going to visit your mum, Remus."

Remus looked at him intently. "Why?"

"Your aunt's a healer," Sirius said simply. "Or someone was a healer in your family. You told us that yourself. So I couldn't quite believe your mother could stay sick for so long and not die, or at least get better."

Remus nodded, and marveled a little at this observation.

"So from about middle of our first year I started to record the days you were gone. I had so many dates lined up, but nothing really made sense to me."

Remus nodded again. The full moon was pretty unpredictable date-wise.

"One day, while James was tutoring Peter, I was reading the journal and hoping for clues. I did some slight math, yes, amazing, and I figured that you were gone every twenty-nine days or so. I didn't see what the number had to do with anything, so I just let it go. While at Defense Against the Dark Arts class the next day I stumbled across a passage on werewolves in our books. I saw that the lunar cycle had approximately twenty-nine days, so I just knew from there on out you were a werewolf."

Sirius stopped and looked at Remus. Remus's face had a mixture of admiration and disbelief on it.

Sirius laughed. Remus looked at him in surprise. "Why are you laughing?"

"I don't know," Sirius replied, still laughing. "Are you that surprised I figured it out?"

Remus frowned lightly. Sirius's gasps of laughter eventually ceased. Remus waited for them to stop completely. "I'm a bit surprised. I don't think anyone has been able to figure it out."

James looked Remus in the eye. "We care."

Remus's face lit up into a smile. "Thanks."

* * *

Christmas was coming. Due to the events that took place, the boys were not able to play a prank on Halloween, which seemed to hurt Sirius deeply.

"I'm mad," he said to James for what seemed like the millionth time. "No pranks this year? How could we?"

James laughed. "Blame yourself and not me, mate. You were the one obsessed with Remus's disappearances."

James's first Quidditch match was supposed to be the week before Christmas break, but due to sleet and hail coming down fast and sharp, the teachers decided to cancel the match.

Madam Frish managed to announce this at breakfast amid many boo's and many faces of disappointment.

"Honestly, I'm pretty disappointed myself," James said to Remus after breakfast. "I was highly looking forward to playing in a real match. Madam Frish said it's going to be rescheduled for right after Christmas break.

Remus laughed and turned to Sirius. "Where are you spending your Christmas?"

"Home," Sirius said darkly. "They want me home again. I would say no but it's really not that smart to test my parents' limits at the jolliest time of the year."

Peter laughed. "I think it'll be a good Christmas, but the professors have really given us too much homework this time."

It was true. The professors had piled on the homework on them high. Professor Slughorn had given them all a nasty Potions essay on moonstones. Professor McGonagall wanted them to know the theory of some spells forward and backward. Professor Hopkirk set them on an essay about both Kappas and Grindylows, and told them to start researching on Hinkypunks. She also set them an essay on the theory of defense. James, Remus, Sirius and Peter were starting to think that she was a slave driver and not a teacher. Even Professor Flitwick had given them homework on the theory of some helpful charms.

"I agree, Peter," James said glumly. "Well, I'll just procrastinate and do my homework on the last day of vacation, then."

Remus looked stern. "James, you can't do that, there's no possible way you'll have time to finish. It's not good to procrastinate, you know. You can't keep doing it."

James rolled his eyes. "Yes mum, I promise I'll be a good boy and do my homework without procrastinating." Remus, Sirius and Peter cracked up.

Remus looked at his watch. "The train is coming in a couple of hours. What do you say we go pack?"

* * *

The four boys were sitting proudly on top of their trunks when the train arrived. The prefects came and warned everyone the Hogwarts Express was here. Soon James, Remus, Sirius and Peter were aboard the train, happy but sad. Well, in Sirius's case it was mostly sad.

Arriving at the station, James immediately saw his parents beaming at his as he stepped off the train. He saw a big blur of red streak past him into the arms of two muggles. James could tell they were muggles; they were some of the only people dressed without a shower cap.

James sighed. Sirius caught this and laughed.

"Still on about Lily Evans, then?"

James sighed again. "I love her," he said simply.

Sirius rolled his eyes. Some things never change.

"Mum! Dad!" he heard the voice of Regulus shout. James saw Sirius's parents beaming as Regulus stepped toward them. He cast a glance at Sirius, who also noticed his family. Sirius's eyes were as stormy as ever as he looked upon the faces of his own family with loathing.

Sirius watched as Regulus jumped off the train to give his parents a big hug. They smiled at him, and gave him all their attention. Sirius lugged his bags off the train and stepped towards his parents. He gave James one last look.

James looked at Sirius, noticing his dark mood. "You know, offer's still good if you want to spend Christmas with us," James said, beckoning to his smiling parents. Sirius offered a weak smile.

"No thanks, James." With that, he walked off to where his parents were standing, pretending to not recognize their own son.

Remus walked up next to James. "Sirius has such a beautifully sweet family, don't you think?"

James laughed. Remus took James to his parents and introduced them. James liked Remus's mother and father right away, and could tell that his father was a muggle by the way he kept looking awed every time an adult disapparated.

"Hey Remus, floo over, if you'd like," James said.

Remus smiled. "I think it's you who should floo over. After all, me and Peter took horrible advantage of your hospitality last year."

"I'll see you after break," James laughingly called over his shoulder to Remus, who was leaving with his parents. James also waved to Peter, who waved back in the company of a bright-looking witch and sullen-looking wizard.

James walked over to his parents, who were beaming at him with a big smile. "Ready to go, James?" asked Mr. Potter.

James returned the smile. He picked up his luggage bag and walked with his parents toward the ministry-provided car. He sat in it, happily anticipation going home. As happy as he was, he couldn't help thinking of Sirius, locked up in his miserable home where no one loved him.

* * *

Lily strode quickly along a hidden path. Her breath frosted in the winter air - all around her, soft snowflakes were falling, nipping at her face, which had become numb.

She reached the familiar playground, and her face broke into a small smile when she saw Snape approaching her.

"Hi Sev!" she said happily, giving him a big hug.

His face, which had been grumpy seconds before, softened at her touch.

"Hi Lily," he said.

Every break, without fail, they would meet up in the playground. Sunshine, rain or snow, Lily could always count on him to show up. She felt happy whenever she saw him. They talked for hours about nothing in particular, so that when she returned home and tried to recall how she spent those hours, she could never remember their conversation - only how easily they got along, and how nice it was to talk to him.

It was only their second year at school, but Lily could already feel them drifting apart. They didn't see each other at school as often as in their first year, and when they did, there was hardly opportunity to talk. Snape was always surrounded by a group of boys that Lily, for the most part, detested. Snape, on the other hand, hated approaching her when she was with other people, and would much rather get her alone. Circumstances made it so that those occasions were uncommon.

They burrowed themselves under the children's slide, enclosed in a spot where the snow wouldn't fall on them. The patch of dirt beneath where they sat was hard and frosty.

"I haven't seen you in so long," Lily said, smiling at him. "It really feels like ages, Sev. I miss talking to you."

"I do too," Snape said earnestly.

"How're your parents?" Lily asked.

"Oh, you know, same," Snape said. An unhappy look passed over his face.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Lily said quietly.

"I just can't wait to leave home, that's all," he said. "How's Petunia?" He said her name with a pointed tone of disgust.

"Same," Lily sighed.

They sat in silence for a while. They heard nothing except the sounds of the winter winds, slashing their way through the air.

"Severus?" she said after a while.

Something in his heart jolted a bit. He never got tired of hearing her say his name. "Yeah?"

"Do you really think it's true? All the rumors about this new dark lord that's starting an underground regime to get rid of all muggle-borns?"

Snape turned to look at her. "I don't know," he said. His voice was toneless. "I guess so. Mostly from people at school."

"You mean Avery and Mulciber," Lily said. This time, she was the one who said those names with a pointed tone of disgust.

"What do you have against them?" Snape said defensively, catching her tone.

"You know exactly what," Lily said evenly.

"They're not nearly as bad as Potter and his friends!" Snape yelped.

"Oh, enough of that," Lily snapped. "I know you don't like them and I don't either, but it's not the same."

Snape was about to protest, but he stopped when he saw her hand tremble.

"I'm scared, Sev," Lily said breathlessly. "If all these rumors are true, that means they'll be after people like me. I'm muggle-born."

"I know that," Snape said. "But they won't be after you."

"Why?"

He paused. He looked at her scared face. "Because you're not like the others. You've got loads of magic, if anything he'll try to recruit you, not kill you."

Lily stared and relapsed into silence. After a while, she opened her mouth.

"I can't decide which is worse."

Snape gazed at her. Her eyes were glistening with tears.

"Maybe it won't be so bad, you know," Snape said. "Maybe all these rumors are just that - rumors." In his heart, he knew that what he was saying wasn't true, but watching her get so upset made him feel very uneasy.

She gave him a little smile, and wiped the tears from her eyes. And then, she reached out and held his hand in hers. Together they sat underneath the playground slide, and though it was winter, neither of them felt cold.

* * *

Sirius was in one of those moods. He couldn't understand why his parents had even brought him back to the "noble house of Black." As far as he was concerned, he was no noble Black. Heck, he didn't want to be.

Christmas dinner was a horrible affair. Narcissa had brought Lucius Malfoy to dinner. They had hated each other from the first time they looked at each other, and Sirius was in no mood to look Malfoy in the eyes.

"Narcissa, how are things going these days?" Mrs. Black asked Sirius's cousin sweetly.

"Wonderful," Narcissa replied, smiling. Sirius scowled.

Lucius wrapped his arm around Narcissa's waist.

"Lucius is so great," Narcissa giggled. "I hope you approve."

"Of course we do!" Aunt Elladora barked. "He's such a great person."

Sirius snorted into his drink. What Aunt Elladora meant was "he's pureblood, so you're allowed to like him". No one else noticed Sirius's snort.

"Oh yes, thank you," Lucius smiled in what he probably thought a sweet way. "Cissy is a wonderful girl too, just right for me." They smiled at each other. Narcissa flipped back her blonde hair and put her arm around Lucius. Sirius wanted to gag.

"When are you two lovebirds getting married?" Bellatrix giggled.

"I don't know, Bella," Narcissa smiled. "Hopefully soon." She looked at Lucius and stroked his arm with a long, pale finger.

"We're all very happy for you," Aunt Elladora said, smirking.

"Agreed," Andromeda smiled. Sirius couldn't help noticing how there was a mask of unrest in her eyes.

At this point, Narcissa and Lucius started smiling fakely again. Bellatrix was giggling.

Sirius had had enough. He excused himself from the table and went upstairs to his room. He started a letter to James, but then stopped, thinking it was completely useless to bother James with stuff like this. He sat on his bed and sulked for a little until he heard a knock at his door.

"Come in," he said loudly. Andromeda walked into Sirius's room, smiling.

"How are you holding up?" she asked gently.

"Fine," Sirius mumbled.

"Really?"

Sirius sighed. "It's always the same. I come home and they tell me to get resorted. I tell them that there's no way I can do that after being two years in Gryffindor. They just look angry and tell me I should be more like Regulus. Stupid kid," he spat.

"Go on."

Sirius took a deep breath. "They never miss a chance to flaunt new presents for him in my face. They never miss a chance to tell me what a good boy he is, how he knows what's good and upholds the family name. They never miss the opportunity to sneer to me that he's the better son."

Andromeda hummed sympathetically. He looked up at her and noticed that her features were troubled.

"Are you okay?"

Andromeda sighed. "Actually, Sirius, I'm not. I need to tell you something. Promise you won't tell the family?"

"How can I?" Sirius laughed grimly. "Except for lecturing me on how I need to be more like Regulus they won't talk to me."

Andromeda laughed.

"Go on," Sirius said.

Andromeda took a deep breath. "I'm in love."

"That's great!" Sirius exclaimed. "Why don't you tell the fam–"

"He's a muggle-born," Andromeda interrupted, "by the name of Ted Tonks.

"Oh," Sirius said, understanding dawning on him. He smiled a true smile at Andromeda. "That's great!"

Andromeda's face lit up. "You really think so?"

Sirius laughed. "Of course. Hang on to him. Gosh, it feels good knowing I'm not the only rebel in the family."

Andromeda laughed. "Thanks, Sirius. I don't know how I'll tell the family, though." Her smiling expression changed into a worried one.

Sirius shrugged. "From my point of view, you have two options. Either you elope or you tell them then run away before they hurt him."

Andromeda smiled weakly. "Either way, it involves running, doesn't it."

Sirius looked at her sadly. "I suppose it does."

Andromeda stood up and walked toward the door. "I guess I'll go tell them now." She turned around to look at Sirius.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Sirius sat alone in his room once more, this time bracing himself for the screams and yells downstairs. His family did not disappoint him. He heard various voices screeching and booming out. He felt the house literally shake under his body as a final slam of the door closed the noise out.

Sirius heard his parents and various other family members trudge up the stairs. He sneaked closer to the door to hear what they were saying.

"…little blood traitor, we'll have her blasted right off the tapestry, we will…"

"…a muggle-born! This is how she repays her family…"

Sirius felt himself smile in admiration for his cousin. He heard a slight blasting noise from a room close to his.

Andromeda was gone, blasted off the tapestry for going after her true love.


	16. Animagi

A/N: I'll be in China on vacation for the next three weeks, so I probably won't be able to update unless the hotels have laptops... unlikely. I've been writing really hard for the past couple of days, and as I leave you (temporarily), I leave you with three chapters. Thanks to all the readers and reviewers yet again, and I hope you enjoy! I'll be back :)

* * *

_January, 1972_

* * *

Animagi

"Well that was one of the worst Christmases I've ever had," Sirius complained loudly, walking into the compartment near the back of the train.

Peter laughed. "You've had worse? From what you tell me, it can't possibly get any worse."

Sirius looked at Peter darkly. "Believe me, it can." Sighing, he stowed his trunk, then reached down and helped Peter stow his trunk as well.

"Please don't start this term like you started last term," a new voice said from the doorway.

Sirius laughed. "I don't aim to, Lupin. Just don't provoke me." The three boys plopped down on the seats. "Have you seen James?"

Remus shook his head. "Nope. He'd better hurry."

"He doesn't want to miss the train does he? Oh by the way, Remus, how's your mum?" Sirius asked, smiling cheekily.

"Fine, Sirius," Remus replied, mouth twitching. "She's been asking about her sickness."

They laughed, and the compartment door burst open one more time. In the doorway was James, grinning widely, glasses slipping off his face. Sirius was strongly reminded of the first time they met. He let out a bark-like laugh.

James stowed his trunk and sat down next to Remus. He ran his hands through his hair.

Peter laughed. "Hey James, nice look for you. You look like you've just gotten off a broomstick."

James's face lit up. "Really?" He smiled and reached up to ruffle his hair again.

Remus rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Be warned of your ego, James, it'll swallow you whole someday."

"It'll swallow all of us," Sirius said in mock fear. "You don't want us to die, do you?"

They all laughed. "Sirius, mate, how was your summer? I didn't get any letters from you," James asked.

Sirius's expression changed. His face turned itself into a loathing position and his eyes were stormy. "Really stupid," he said shortly.

Peter looked at him. "Tell us about it."

"You don't want to know," Sirius snapped.

_Here we go again,_ thought Remus.

"Don't be stupid, Sirius," James retorted. "We wouldn't have asked you if we didn't want to know. Swallow whatever delusional pride problems you have and tell us."

Sirius looked around the room and realized that they wanted to know, not because they were curious, but because they cared.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's okay," Remus said quietly.

"Well my Christmas was horrible, as I was telling Peter," Sirius said dejectedly. "It was terrible except for the fact that both Andromeda and Uncle Alphard was there. Oh I have to tell you something," Sirius said, changing from a gloomy look to a grin. "Andromeda's getting married."

"That's great!" exclaimed Remus.

"Not exactly," Sirius laughed ruefully. "She's getting married to a muggle-born. You can see how my family took that one."

"Well, good for Andromeda," James said. "It's too bad the family's not happy for her."

"Not happy?" Sirius laughed humorlessly. "They pretty much disowned her! They threw her out of the house and blasted her name from the tapestry of ancestors."

"Wow," Peter whispered.

"As you can see, without Andromeda there, my Christmas was horrible. Narcissa, or Cissy, brought that idiot Lucius Malfoy to dinner. After the Andromeda thing my parents kept saying to Cissy dear what a great pureblood she was, and how much they simply _adored_ Malfoy, and his blood status. And they also never miss a chance to tell me that I should be more like Regulus, and that Regulus is their favorite son." Sirius smiled grimly. "But enough about my troubles. How was your Christmas, James?"

James laughed. "Quite boring. It turns out neither Remus or Peter could visit due to some planning problems, so I was stuck all alone. Plus, all the homework killed me. Remus sent me frequent letters telling me not to procrastinate."

The food cart arrived, and as usual, the boys pooled their money together and got a huge stack of candy.

"Cool, I've got Dumbledore," Sirius laughed, looking at a Chocolate Frogs card. "He actually looks exactly the same as in person. Creepy." The picture of Dumbledore winked at him.

Soon, the train arrived at the Hogsmeade station. Remus, James, Sirius and Peter went back to the castle with a sigh of longing. God, how they had missed home.

* * *

Over the next couple of days, things progressed as usual. Sirius and James slacked off and managed to get top grades. Remus and Peter spent hours in the library, studying to maintain their grades, or in Peter's case, keep from failing. James's first Quidditch match would be on Saturday, and James was really pumped up.

"I can't wait!" he said excitedly. "I've been dying to participate in a Quidditch game fore the longest time."

All Sirius, Remus or Peter heard about for the next couple of days was the Quidditch match. Peter tuned James out like he tuned Sirius out when Sirius was rambling about Remus's disappearances. Remus just pretended to be interested but was really sneaking at pages of a book from the corner of his eye. Sirius stayed entertained for a minute or so, but then changed the topic. However, Sirius, Remus and Peter were secretly excited as well.

The day of the match came. James rose nice and early, and was surprised to feel incredibly nervous. _What is happening to me?_ James though as he pulled on his robes. _I'm never nervous._

"Eat, James," Remus said, pushing some bacon in front of James at breakfast.

"It's okay," James mumbled. He seemed to have lost his appetite.

Remus sighed. "James, do not worry. You will be fine, okay?"

"How do you know?" James said.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Look, they wouldn't have picked you if you weren't good, and you've been practicing a lot. You love flying, don't you?"

"Yeah," said James, smiling a little. "Thanks guys." He stuffed some toast down his throat and walked in the direction of the changing rooms. Peter looked at the other two and shrugged.

On the way there, james tried to shake off the nerves, but they jsut kept coming back. What was wrong with him? He was never nervous. Ever. He took in a deep breath and breathed out slowly, trying to calm himself. What if he messed up?

James shook his head. He wouldn't think like that. He wouldn't mess up. His house was counting on him. He breathed in again and breathed out.

As he arrived in the changing rooms and after he had changed, the whole team except for Liam was there. James felt a surge of excitement. He knew he was wearing Quidditch robes. It was all he thought about ever since his dad let him try out a broomstick.

Connor looked a little miffed at Liam not being here; apparently he was expecting everyone to show up early. Finally Liam ran through the doors, red-faced and panting. He shot the team a smile. "Sorry, slept in…"

Everyone laughed, including Connor.

"Okay, ladies and gentlemen, this is our first match of the year. Now Ravenclaw's put together quite an impressive team, but our team is even more impressive," Connor said, smiling excitedly.

Everyone cheered.

"The cup has our name on it this year, I tell you! Let's go out there and play some Quidditch!"

The team cheered again. "Go Gryffindor!" everyone yelled, pumped up.

James mounted his broom and followed the rest of his team around the pitch. He noticed that Benjy Fenwick was commentating. He smiled to himself. Bit by bit, edges of nervousness began to erode away.

"For Gryffindor! Captain Eitan, followed by Chasers Tiernan, Harrelson and newcomer Potter." James heard someone yell "GO POTTER" and knew it was Sirius. He glanced at the Gryffindor stands and saw Remus, Peter and Sirius standing there holding a large banner. It seemed to be changing colors. James smiled. That was Remus's work all right.

He glanced around. He had missed the names of all the rest of the players. He looked one last time at the banner and felt the rest of his nervousness slide away. He knew this was where he belonged.

James recognized the Seeker and Keeper for Ravenclaw; two fifth year prefects called Laura Derwick and Mason Bigs. He saw Madam Frish walk right under the players. He heard her blow the whistle and throw the Quaffle into the air. James smiled and set to work.

Eri caught the Quaffle in her hands and flew toward the Ravenclaw Keeper. A beater sent a Bludger her way, and Lea took her bat and swung it right back. A chaser was shooting straight at Eri.

"James," she yelled and threw the Quaffle toward him. He was so surprised he almost dropped it, but recovered and sped toward Mason Bigs. James launched back his arm and threw the Quaffle right into the left hoop. Mason looked extremely put out.

"And it's Potter with ten points for Gryffindor!" Benjy shouted. James heard cheers from the Gryffindor team but didn't stop to look. He stole the Quaffle from an opposing chaser and threw it to Liam. Liam passed it to Eri, who aimed the Quaffle straight at the center goal. Mason missed it, and James heard groans from the Ravenclaw team.

"Twenty-zero to Gryffindor!" James heard Benjy shout. He smiled and recovered the Quaffle. He threw it to Eri. Eri caught it, and threw it at Liam. Before Liam could catch it, however, a Ravenclaw Chaser had intercepted the Quaffle and was speeding toward the Gryffindor goal.

"Fenton intercepts the Quaffle!"

_Come on, Perry,_ thought James as Fenton flew toward the goal. Trey aimed a Bludger at Fenton, but the Quaffle was already thrown by the time the Bludger got there. The Quaffle flew toward the center hoop. Perry looked panic-stricken and missed the Quaffle completely. James heard groans from the Gryffindor team.

Determined not to let Ravenclaw score again, James scored twice. Eri and Liam also scored, bringing the lead up to sixty-ten.

"Eitan sees the snitch! Derwick is on his tail!" Benjy shouted.

Everyone turned to the Gryffindor Seeker. Laura Derwick, the Ravenclaw Seeker, was on his tail. The teams forgot what they were supposed to be doing and watched their progress. Connor and Laura each grabbed for the Snitch and each missed. Finally, James saw Connor's fingers close around the tiny ball.

Cheers erupted from the Gryffindor stands. James wiped some sweat off his brow and beamed at the Gryffindor stands. He saw Sirius, Remus and Peter cheering at the top of his lungs. As he turned away, James thought he saw Lily smiling at him as well. Upon looking back at her, she was turned away from the match, talking to Marcella.

"Two hundred and ten to ten!" Peter exclaimed excitedly. "That was great!"

It was after the match and the four boys were making their way up to the common room. Peter was talking about the highlights of the game excitedly while James was pretending to be modest. Sirius laughed. It could not have been plainer that James was really pleased with himself.

They were sitting in their dormitories an hour later, Peter still babbling about the game. There had been a party downstairs, but James was tired. Sirius, Remus and Peter retired with him.

"Remus," Sirius said suddenly. "Where do you go to transform every month?"

"That was really random," Remus said, laughing nervously. Sirius noticed this.

"Come on, answer us, Remus, we're not going to abandon you even if we found out that you transformed in a sewer."

Remus laughed. "No, not a sewer." His face turned serious. "I'm sorry, I can't tell you guys."

"What?" Sirius exploded.

Remus looked alarmed but stood his ground. "I can't tell you."

"Come on," Sirius laughed, thinking Remus was joking.

"I can't tell you," Remus repeated firmly.

"Fine," Sirius said sulkily. He disappeared under the covers and wouldn't reappear.

Remus rolled his eyes and went to sleep as well.

Peter and James looked at each other. Sometimes there was just no reasoning with Sirius.

* * *

Remus had another full moon in two days. The boys now truly know why he's going, but don't know where. Sirius wanted to solve the mystery, but James refused.

"Look, Sirius, it's his business. We shouldn't interfere."

That left Sirius sulky for the rest of the day, but his sulkiness disappeared when he thought of poor Remus and his transformations.

The two days passed without any great incident. People were still coming up to James in the hallways to tell him what a great job he did in the Quidditch match. James usually smiled and ruffled his hair. He usually got angry looks from two people: Snape and Lily.

"I don't care what Snape thinks, that little greaseball," James said, laughing when Peter brought the subject up.

"What about Lily?" Sirius asked.

"She loves me," James replied dreamily.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "James, give it up already."

"Never," James retorted stubbornly.

Sirius sighed. James would never change.

That afternoon, James, Sirius and Peter waited with Remus until McGonagall came and took him away. "Come, Mr. Lupin, it's time to see your mother," McGonagall said.

James, Sirius and Peter would just smile knowingly at the retreating figure of Remus.

Up in the dormitory, the three boys shuddered when they looked at the moon. They knew Remus was out there somewhere, howling and biting himself in pain.

"I want to help him," Sirius moaned, "but I can't. None of us can. We can't keep him company because he'll most likely kill us."

Peter sighed. "I feel like we're failing our duties as his friends, you know?"

James and Sirius nodded. James walked over to Remus's bed to sit down. He saw a book on the top of Remus's trunk. Smiling, he flipped open the copy of the book that he and Sirius had given to Remus for Christmas.

"Do you need help with homework, Peter?" Sirius asked.

Peter smiled gratefully. "Yeah, thanks. I really don't get this Charms thing."

Sirius yanked out his Charms book and began helping Peter understand Flitwick's assignment. James paused from his reading of the textbook to look at James and Peter. He was amazed at the change in his best friend. Sirius was still short tempered, but at least he could be patient with Peter for more than a minute now.

James flipped through the book once more, occasionally stopping at a particular gruesome diagram or an interesting fact. He read through the book more thoroughly, now hoping that there was something in the text that would tell them how to help a werewolf. He turned abstractedly to a random page.

_Werewolves, though they are dangerous, are human everyday except once a month. They kill easily as the owner's mind gets taken over by the mind of the wolf. The wolf will murder anyone, just for blood. Usually the wolf won't murder, just bite the unsuspecting victim. The victim then also becomes a werewolf. However, a wolf is not a danger to animals or Animagus, a witch or wizard that can transform into an animal at will._

James stared at the passage. The answer was smacking him in the face. He briefly remembered McGonagall showing the first years her ability to turn into a cat on the first day of Transfiguration class. He vaguely remembered her saying that to become an Animagus was very difficult.

He also remembered Remus saying that when he heard his family outside his room or even knew of their presence, his mind was less wolfish, he had some control.

James wrenched out his Transfiguration book for lessons on how to become Animagi. Nothing. But he knew what they had to do.

"Guys," he said. Sirius and Peter were now arguing about something.

"GUYS!" he yelled. Sirius and Peter turned to look at him.

"What?"

"I've found a way we can help Remus."

Sirius and Peter looked at James intently. "How?"

James looked at them grimly. "We're going to become Animagi."


	17. Mirrors and Magic

A/N: Forgive the title. I know it's appropriately lame, but the creative part of my brain has gone to sleep.

* * *

_January, 1972_

* * *

Mirrors and Magic

"What? Animagi?" Peter paled slightly. "But I heard that's very difficult."

"How would becoming Animagi help Remus?" Sirius interrupted.

James looked impatient. "Haven't you been listening in class?"

"No," Sirius scoffed. "Neither have you."

James smiled. "Point taken. I just read the book we gave Remus for Christmas." James picked up the book from where it lay on Remus's bed and handed it to Sirius and Peter.

"So a werewolf is not a danger to animals or Animagi, who are technically animals when transformed, right?" Peter asked, looking up from the book.

James beamed. "Right."

"So we're really going to do it, then?" Sirius asked.

"You want to help Remus, right?"

Sirius smiled. "Okay. Let's do it. For Remus."

* * *

Now the three boys faced the prospect of telling Remus what they were going to become. This time, however, they weren't scared. They were heading towards Charms class when Sirius brought up the subject.

"James, you do it."

"I did it last time, there's no way I'm doing it again," James said crossly.

Sirius snorted. "You didn't really do it last time, did you. I ended up telling Remus."

James and Sirius turned to look at Peter.

"What?" he squeaked.

"You're telling Remus we're becoming Animagi," Sirius delegated.

"Why? Why me?" Peter squeaked again.

"Because me and James have both done it, in a sense. You haven't. Why are you so nervous anyway?"

Peter remained silent, looking scared.

"Peter?" James asked.

Peter shook his head slightly. "I can't."

Sirius sighed, exasperated. "Fine, I'll do it. Pettigrew, you're worthless." With that, he stalked off, slamming Flitwick's door with a huge amount of force. James could hear Professor Flitwick's voice inside telling Sirius to open the door back up.

"Peter, you're not worthless," James said encouragingly.

"To Sirius I am," said Peter sadly.

"Sirius is just very temperamental. Don't mind him. He gets like this with everybody. Let's go to class." James smiled one last time at Peter before entering the classroom. Sirius had apparently thrown the door wide open again.

Peter sighed and followed James into the classroom. He wished he had the guts to do so many things that James and Sirius does, but he couldn't. He couldn't face Remus and tell him that they were going to do something illegal.

* * *

A day later, Remus returned at his usual time. Once again he looked for his friends in the common room and once again he couldn't find them. _What's going on this time,_he thought to himself as he walked up to his dormitory.

They were indeed all assembled there, just like last time. This time, however, there were no forced smiles on their faces. Their grins were genuine.

"What other long-lost secret have you discovered about me this time?" Remus asked jokingly.

"None, unless you have one," Sirius retorted.

Remus laughed. "I don't think I have another one. Or if I do, I've been seriously misinformed."

They all laughed.

Sirius spoke up. "Remus, I think we've found a way to help you during your transformations."

Remus's smile faded. He panicked inside. There was no way they could help without getting hurt. He couldn't do that to his friends.

"No."

"What do you mean, no?" Sirius said incredulously. "We haven't told you how yet. Besides, this is a really good idea."

Remus paled. "No, you guys, don't. If it involves anything with the invisibility cloak… wolves have a good sense of smell, you know."

"We know," Sirius said impatiently.

"Are you going to try and accompany me in some way?" Remus asked, turning paler.

"Well yes, but –"

"You mustn't do that!" Remus said frantically. "I could bite you, I could kill you, I could seriously hurt you!"

"Remus!" Sirius said in exasperation. "Okay, hear us out. Werewolves can't hurt animals with their bites, right?"

"Right," said Remus uneasily. He had no idea where this was going.

"We're going to become Animagi for you."

Sirius expected Remus to be happy at this news. He expected Remus to be ecstatic that he wasn't going to have to face transformations alone anymore.

Remus turned paler. All the color had left his face. "No. You can't do that!"

"Why?" James argued, looking crestfallen.

"Yeah, why?" Sirius asked, completely confused at Remus's reaction.

"That's completely dangerous!"

Sirius waved Remus's comment aside with his hand. "So? We've done dangerous stuff before."

"Not like this you haven't!"

"We can try."

"You could get seriously deformed or something!"

"Oh come on, Remus," wheedled Sirius. "You can't tell me that you want to keep going through transformations alone."

"I don't, but I can't let you guys do this all because of me! It's _illegal_!" he said it as if that settled the matter.

"I don't care," Sirius said. "I'm not letting you go through this alone."

"I have to go through this alone, Sirius, I've always done it alone," Remus said quietly. "I'm not about to get you guys in a lot of trouble for breaking the law."

"Remus," Peter sighed. "We always break the school rules."

"This isn't a school rule, this is a law! You guys could get chucked into Azkaban for it!"

"I don't care," Sirius said again. "You're worth it."

"James," Remus said desperately, turning to him. "What would Lily think of you if you were half-slug or something forever?"

James laughed. "Good try, Remus. Not even that can persuade me to change my mind. I highly doubt I'll become a slug, though. But even if I do, it'll just make me more macho."

Remus closed his eyes. "I'm not going to be selfish. I don't want something bad happening to you guys. The Animagi transformations are really, really difficult. Things can go horribly wrong! I don't want you guys taking that risk for me."

"It's not your idea, Remus," James said softly. "We want to do it ourselves. We want to help you."

Remus opened his eyes. He looked at his friends, who were watching him intently. He knew that whatever he said would make no difference, and that made him both exasperated and elated at the same time. Finally, he sighed. "Well, I guess if you really want to…"

Sirius beamed. "Of course we do!"

Remus couldn't help smiling. It was one of those moments he knew that he had friends that would stick by him through everything.

* * *

"McGonagall gave us detention again," Sirius told Remus. The boys were in the common room after a tough day of lessons.

James rolled his eyes. "What is it, the fifth time this month?"

Remus sighed. "What was it for this time?" He was pretty sure he knew the reason.

"Hexing Snivelly in the hallway," James said promptly. "But it was worth it."

"He was provoking us so I sent a Jelly-Legs jinx his way. He did some weird charm that made me levitate. Then James hit him with a well-placed full-body bind. That's when McGonagall came," Sirius said.

"What did he do to you guys this time?" Remus asked.

"He was in our way," James replied.

"And you couldn't just ask him to move?"

"We did!" Sirius exclaimed. "We told him to shove off."

"Nice and polite," laughed Remus.

"Lily Evans shot us really angry looks," Sirius said, mouth twitching.

"She was there?"

"Yes," James answered. "She was talking to Snape."

Remus's mouth twitched as well. "So now the real reason surfaces."

"I thought you guys were going to try transforming tonight," Peter interrupted before James could retort.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "We can't transform if we don't know how to transform, now can we?"

"Peter, you should go check out some stuff in the library," James suggested.

"I'll go with him," Remus said quickly. Now that he was sure that his friends were going to undergo this possibly dangerous branch of magic, he wanted to help as much as possible.

"I'm mad at McGonagall. She gave us separate detentions, again!" Sirius complained.

Remus laughed. "That's actually very smart of her to do that, you know."

Sirius scowled.

Remus suddenly remembered something. "Wait here," he said to Sirius and James. He rushed back up to the dormitory and pulled out two identical mirrors.

The spell had looked easy enough. He tapped his wand on each of the mirrors and said the incantation. Heart bounding, he made it back downstairs.

"Here," he said to James and Sirius, shoving a mirror in each boy's hand.

"Mirrors?" James asked uncertainly. "Is this some abstract way of telling me that I should spend more time on my appearance?"

Remus shook his head impatiently. "It allows you to communicate with each other."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "How does it work?"

"James, say Sirius's name into the mirror."

James cleared his throat. "Sirius Black!" There was a slight fogging of the mirror, but when the mist subsided, Sirius's face was in the mirror, staring back at him.

"Wow!" James exclaimed. "Remus, this is amazing! Where did you get it?"

Remus laughed. "From home. My parents used them when they were dating and couldn't be together, but now obviously they don't need them anymore. I thought it would be quite useful for you guys in separate detentions."

James examined the little square mirror with interest. "That's really wicked. Are there more than two, so we can communicate with you two as well?"

"No, I suppose whatever charm is on those mirrors only works on two objects in correspondence to one another. Plus me and Peter don't aim to spend nearly as much time in detentions."

Peter nodded.

James smiled at Remus. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it," Remus said.

* * *

"Remus, why don't we ask McGonagall about Animagi? She would tell us everything, because she is one," Peter whined on their way to the library.

Remus sighed. "Peter, we can't do that. McGonagall's really smart. How do you think she became a teacher? She would know something was up if we started asking her about Animagi. Come on, let's in the library."

In truth, Remus was not too excited about going to the library. Madam Pince had never quite recovered from what Benjy called her "tetchy mood" and was frequently throwing people out of the library.

They entered the library quietly. Madam Pince shot them a look, but let them in. They tiptoed around the shelves, looking for books on Animagi.

"I've found one!" Peter whispered.

"That's great," Remus whispered back. "Keep looking."

They found two more books devoted to Animagi. It was at that moment Madam Pince chose to walk up behind them with her feather duster.

"What are you two doing?" She asked Remus and Peter as though annoyed.

Remus held up the Animagi books. "Research."

"Animagi?" she sniffed disapprovingly. "Why?"

"School project," Remus replied promptly.

"What class?"

"Transfigurations."

She rounded on Peter. "Are you doing this as well?"

"Yes," Peter stammered nervously.

"I don't recall teachers ever giving any assignments on Animagi…" Madam Pince scratched her chin in thought. Peter shot Remus a pleading look.

"Professor McGonagall made us research–"

"Be quiet, boy!" Madam Pince said shrilly to Remus. Oddly enough, it was a quiet and controlled shrill. "I'm talking to this one here." She looked at Peter and shook her feather duster at him..

"Did someone actually give you the assignment?"

"I, er, that is…" Peter stuttered.

"Liars! Out!" Madam Pince said loudly, raising her wand. The books chased Remus and Peter out of the library. Remus managed to catch one of the books before it flew back in the library. Madam Pince was too distracted to notice.

"Does it say anything?" Peter asked eagerly as Remus skimmed the one book that they had managed to catch while walking back up to the common room.

"Nothing," Remus said, disappointed. "It's got no instructions or anything. All it said that was useful was that Animagi are rare. Like we don't know that. The rest of the book was on why the Ministry keeps such a close watch on people attempting to do it."

"What do we do now?" Peter asked, clearly crestfallen.

Remus looked deep in thought. He looked at Peter, an idea formulating in his brain. "There's one place I'm sure we'll be able to find books on transformations. I think I remember where the Room of Requirement is." He paused and smiled. "Follow me."

* * *

James and Sirius had found each other on the way back to the common room.

"That was horrible!" Sirius exclaimed. "I had detention with McGonagall. She shot disapproving looks at me all the time and sent me to the storage room to clean animals droppings with a rag."

James laughed. "I was in the Potions room with Slughorn. He kept rambling on about some of his past students, and how they were his favorites. Mind you, he was so absorbed in his own talking that I don't think he even noticed I was conversing with you in the mirrors."

Sirius laughed as well. "We have to thank Remus again. Without these little objects, detention would be horrible. With it, it's mostly horrible but partially fun. Gobstones," he said to the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Nasty game, Gobstones," she said shrilly as James and Sirius clambered into the common room.

"Where're Remus and Peter?" Sirius wondered, looking at the common room. They went up to their dormitory.

"And they're not here either?" Sirius frowned.

"Hang on, I see a note." James ran over to his bed and found a piece of torn parchment with Remus's handwriting.

**Sirius, James,**

**We are in the Room of Requirement researching Animagi. Join us as soon as you are done with detention. Bring the cloak. It'll be long after curfew when we leave.**

**Remus and Peter**

James glanced at his watch. It was already past curfew. He showed the note to Sirius. Sirius raised an eyebrow.

James grinned and grabbed his cloak. He was ready to use it again.

Sirius went under the cloak with James. They found that it was much easier to use with two people instead of four. They let themselves out of the common room while the Fat Lady looked extremely confused. Invisible, they made their way to the Room of Requirement without any trouble.

"I thought you'd never show up," came Remus's voice from behind a huge stack of books.

"Detention takes a while, Remus," James said. "Thanks for the mirror by the way. It made detention more bearable."

Remus smiled at James. "Sure."

"What have you guys found out?" Sirius asked.

"Loads!" exclaimed Peter excitedly.

James grabbed the nearest book off the shelf. "What have you guys learned about the transformations?"

"Do we get to pick our animals?" Sirius interrupted.

Remus laughed. "No, actually you don't, unless you know the shape of your Patronus, and I don't think we should spend years learning how to do that just to find our animals."

Sirius looked sad. "That would be incredibly depressing if after all this work, I turned out to be some bunny."

James roared with laughter. "Actually, bunnies are cute. Describes you perfectly."

"How do we transform?" Sirius interrupted, scowling.

"Well," Peter said, "we have to do a lot of steps. Supposedly the first time is the hardest, because you don't know what your animal is. After that, all you have to do is concentrate on your animal and you will be in Animagus form."

"What are the steps?" James asked.

Remus sighed. "There's quite a lot of them, and apparently they vary with each book, slightly. However, even the littlest variation can make a difference. I suppose we'll have to take from each book what they suggest, and use the steps that's in the most books."

Sirius looked disappointed. "That's horrible. I wanted to become an Animagus tonight."

Remus laughed. "Oh come on, Sirius! Most wizards can't even do it in their lifetime, and you expect yourself to do it in a day?"

"I wanted to accompany you on your next full moon," Sirius said stubbornly.

Remus smiled. "Thanks, Sirius, but for right now all we can do is take notes."

James groaned. "I hate notes. I try to avoid them in class."

"Too bad," Peter laughed

Remus beckoned to the big shelves on the right side of the room.

"Grab a book and start."


	18. Summer

A/N: This is by far the longest chapter I've ever written. Don't expect treats like this too often :) I just went on a roll and never stopped. This is the last chapter I'm posting before I go to China for three weeks, and I'm quite proud of myself for this chapter, as it's about one thousand words longer than my longest chapter to date. Anyway, I'm rambling again, I leave you with this, and I hope you enjoy this one, as you won't get another update for three weeks.

* * *

_January-June, 1792_

* * *

Summer

By the time Sirius, James, Peter and Remus got back to their common room, it was already nearing two in the morning. They were very groggy while walking, but they were careful. They really didn't want detention when time should be spent on the Animagi transformations.

Going under the cloak seemed more crowded than ever. The four boys all lacked sleep. They all tried to be careful, but occasionally someone would stumble.

"Watch it, Peter!" Sirius growled when Peter tripped lightly, almost causing the four boys to fall.

"Sorry," Peter whispered back.

They were too busy arguing to see Peeves floating just ahead.

"I hear voices, yes Peeves hears voices!" Peeves sang in a singsong voice, floating above their heads. "I know you're here, and I won't let you pass."

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter stopped dead in their tracks. They held their breath, afraid to make any sound.

"I should tell the teachers, I should," Peeves grinned nastily. "Who knows what sort of punishments they'll think up?"

They boys remained silent.

Peeves was now circling them, as if he knew exactly where they stood. "Of course, I knew you would be here, all I had to do was wait." He sneered nastily. "I should go tell someone, it's for your own good, you know."

He bobbed up and down. "Oh teachers, students out of bed," Peeves sang softly.

Sirius clenched his fist tightly. James and Remus shot him a warning look. Peter, who looked horrified, stood still.

Peeves cackled when he heard someone stir. "Oh teachers, students out of bed," Peeves sang louder.

Sirius, who was shaking in anger, finally couldn't take it. He jumped out from under the cloak, amid warning stares from James and Remus. "Peeves, let us past!"

Peeves looked surprised for a moment, then his face contorted into a very nasty smile. "Oh, the Black blood traitor dares to command me, does he?" Peeves cackled. "We'll see how he likes it when others command him. STUDENTS OUT OF BED!" Peeves roared. "STUDENTS OUT OF BED IN THE TRANSFIGURATION CORRIDOR!"

Sirius took out his wand as if to hex Peeves, but James, who had by now bundled up the cloak in his arms, grabbed him and ran in the direction of the common room. Sirius could just make out Remus and Peter just ahead, running with all their might in the darkness.

As they ran up the stairs, James heard a sickening crunch ahead. They bumped into Remus.

"What is going on?" Sirius whispered frantically.

"It's Peter!" Remus whispered back. "He's stuck! He forgot to jump this trick step!"

"Peter!" James groaned.

"Sorry!" Peter whimpered back. "What are we going to do?"

Sirius heard running in the hallway, and saw specks of light coming closer and closer. "James and Remus, help Peter out, okay?" Sirius wrenched the cloak from James. As James and Remus huddled down to help Peter, Sirius threw the cloak over the three of them.

"Hey! What about you?" James said in protest. His voice was muffled, but Sirius could tell James was liable to burst out of the cloak any second.

"Shut up!" Sirius whispered. "Help Peter get out!"

Professor McGonagall, Filch and Professor Dumbledore arrived at the scene. The lamp illuminated the area, and as far as the human eye could see, Sirius was standing there alone.

"Mr. Black?" Professor McGonagall said, looking at him. "What are you doing out of bed?" Her lips were paper-thin.

"I was sleepwalking," Sirius said boldly. He heard slight snickers from the stairways, but Professor McGonagall didn't seem to notice.

"Sleepwalking?" McGonagall said, raising an eyebrow. She was curious as to what excuse her students will make up next time. "Somehow, I don't quite believe that. Twenty points from Gryffindor and a week's worth of detention."

Sirius nodded his head at her.

"Professors, I distinctly heard Peeves say "students", as in plural," Filch wheezed. "I think that Mr. Black's friends are here as well."

"Do you?" Sirius said, without the slightest trace of hesitation. "I'm afraid it's only me."

"I doubt that," Filch snarled, and walked around like a blind man, trying to catch or feel the miscreants.

Sirius's heart caught in his throat as filch neared the stair steps. How could he tell him to stop without giving anything away?

_Stay where you are, stay where you are_, Sirius thought frantically, sending a metal message to James and Remus. He hoped they would get it. Fortunately, no one burst out of the cloak.

"It's alright, Argus," Professor McGonagall said, beckoning for Filch. Filch turned reluctantly towards McGonagall. He looked disappointed and mad, as if he would have liked nothing better than to have Sirius expelled.

"I'll see you in detention, Mr. Black, starting Monday at four." McGonagall said curtly as she walked away, presumably back to sleep.

Professor Dumbledore stayed behind. He walked up to Sirius, smiling a little.

"I'm a person of mixed emotions, Mr. Black. On the one hand I'm severely disappointed that you have been out of bed and wandering about."

Sirius forced himself to stare Dumbledore straight back in the eye.

"On the other hand," Dumbledore continued, "I'm rather proud, if you will, of your loyalty to your friends."

"They're not here," Sirius said quickly, then realized his mistake. "Uh, I mean…" Sirius turned red.

"Of course they're not here," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling. "You'd think we'd have seen them, am I right?" Dumbledore turned and walked away, down the corridor to his office.

One he was sure Dumbledore was far away, James took off the cloak. By this time, he and Remus have managed to get Peter loose.

"Sirius! Why did you do that for us? We all deserved detention," Peter said.

Sirius laughed. "It's okay, I don't mind taking detention for you guys. They're not that bad, actually. I've grown a certain fondness for McGonagall's storage room."

His face darkened. "It was Snivellus," he said suddenly.

"What?" Remus asked, confused.

"Peeves said that he knew we would be here. Snivellus tipped him off."

"We don't have any proof, Sirius," Remus said quietly.

"It was him, I know it," Sirius insisted stubbornly.

James looked at his friend with exasperated admiration. Sirius was honestly very unpredictable sometimes.

* * *

As the end of the year drew nearer, Sirius's hopes for becoming Animagi by Second Year faded. Remus and Peter were refusing to do anymore time in the Room of Requirement as the exams drew nearer. James and Sirius still refused to study, except for helping Peter.

Lily was still looking quite disgusted at James whenever they passed each other in the hallways. James would run his hands through his hair and smile charmingly, especially when she was talking to Snape. Lily would give him a look of pure loathing in return. James would sigh and tell Sirius that he loved her. Sirius would just sigh back in obvious exasperation.

Sirius and James spent hours in the Room of Requirement, looking up and matching steps from book to book.

"It's so incredibly boring!" Sirius would groan.

"We have to do it," James would say back.

James's last Quidditch game was against Slytherin for the Quidditch Cup. It was the one event that took Remus's attention away from the exams.

Remus, Peter and Sirius had once again managed to make a banner, this time with James's head on the banner, winking at everyone in sight.

James was once again incredibly nervous going into the game. Gryffindor needed to win this game to win the Cup.

Connor smiled at the team. "Okay, team. This is my last Quidditch game with this school, with this great team. I've had great, great fun watching all of you play. You guys are truly wonderful, thank you so much. I'll miss you guys."

At this, Lea promptly started crying.

Connor plodded on. "Okay, let's make this match memorable. Perry and James, you guys are no longer the new people. You are such a big part of this team. Get out there and do your best!"

They cheered, and flew out onto the field, Lea still in a flurry of tears.

James still felt nervous as he flew out, until he saw the big banner with his winking face on it. He looked at it in disbelief and started laughing. All his nervousness melted away.

The Gryffindor team worked seamlessly, flawlessly together. Perry was the exception. He was good, but not great. He missed most of the easy saves coming at him. Overall, Gryffindor was the team to beat. Within the first ten minutes, James had scored four times, while Eri and Liam scored three times each. They had a one hundred to twenty lead.

Not soon after, the Slytherin seeker spotted the snitch. Connor was right after him, but it didn't seem like Connor could catch up. James felt his heart caught in his throat. What if they lost?

Just then, a well-aimed Bludger hit the Slytherin Seeker in the tail of the broomstick and he spun off-course. James turned to see a cheering Lea celebrating with Trey. Connor made a wild snatch at the snitch, and caught it with one leg on the broom. The crowd gasped, but Connor smiled in delight.

"GRYFFINDOR WINS, TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY TO TWENTY!" James heard Benjy shout in ecstasy.

James descended to the ground with the rest of his team, grinning as widely as he had ever grinned in his life. The team was immediately lifted high in the air by oncoming Gryffindors, who were rushing onto the field. James saw Snape looking extremely sulky. If it was anything that made his day, that was it.

The excitement of the match eventually faded away. The week before the exams was just as tense as they were last year. Benjy and Emmeline were in a better mood, but the new fifth year prefects and the Head Girl were all in horribly short-tempered moods. Using what they learned last year, the Second Years retreated to their dormitories when possible.

The exams finally came upon them in a flurry of worried faces. James was completely confident going into his Transfiguration exams, but he worried about his History of Magic grades. Remus actually came out of the Defense Against the Dark Arts room beaming. Peter was nervous in every exam, and confided in James and Remus that if he failed, which was a likely possibility, he didn't know what he would do.

Fast as they came, the exams flew right by. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter returned to their old selves. They rampaged around the school, especially at night. Most often they liked to go to the kitchens to find all sorts of food. They found out a lot from the elves, who knew many of the castle's secrets, as they first found out from the Room of Requirement. The elves even told them that there was a secret passageway out of the castle that involved tapping a statue and the word _dissendium._

Of course, that appealed to the boys heavily. They ran around the school, tapping everything in sight. Sirius was about to give up when he tapped a statue of a one-eyed witch. Her hump opened wide enough for some small boys to fit through, and a secret passageway was revealed.

They didn't have time to follow it as the exam results were being posted. James swore that he would come back next year and see where it went.

It was no surprise that James, Lily, Sirius and Remus did the best on the exams. James marveled at how well he did in History of Magic. Sirius laughed at him and reminded him that he should thank Remus for the use of his notes. Peter passed every subject by an extremely close margin, and celebrated at his success. Also near the top of the list was Snape, who performed excellently in both Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"So what are you doing this summer?" James asked Remus during the farewell feast. Gryffindor had won the House Cup again. James and Sirius lost plenty of points for Gryffindor throughout the year, but they just earned them back in classes. James also earned them back in Quidditch.

"I think I'm just going to go home and not worry about much," Remus laughed. "See if I can get my homework done early."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Always the good boy."

"Can I Floo over sometime?" Peter asked James.

"Sure," James said, smiling. "Any one of you, really."

The boys dreaded the last day of school. Breakfast would be their last meal together as Second Years. After packing all their stuff in the morning, Sirius proclaimed that he was incredibly hungry, so the four boys went downstairs to breakfast.

While Sirius was munching on a rather large piece of toast, the final owls of the school year arrived. A rather large tawny owl dropped a letter in Sirius's lap.

Sirius ripped open the letter.

"What does it say?" James asked, peering over his shoulder.

Sirius grinned at James widely. "I'm spending the summer at your house."

"What?" James asked. "When? Why?"

"One at a time, Potter," Sirius laughed. "I'm spending the summer at your house. When? Over the summer. Why?" Sirius waved his letter. "I sent a letter to my parents a while ago asking if I could spend the summer at the Potters' house. They said yes. I have a shrewd suspicion that you being a pureblood had something to do with it…"

James grinned at Sirius. "That's okay, I don't mind, as long as I don't have to be alone anymore. Are you or Remus coming over?" James asked Peter.

"Maybe," Peter laughed. "I'll convince my mum."

"Me too," Remus said.

"Train's here!" a fifth year prefect shouted.

Sirius stuffed one last piece of toast down his mouth before grabbing his luggage and following Peter, James and Remus onto the horseless carriages.

They boarded the train, and found their compartment near the back of the train. The train started moving, and Sirius felt himself get more depressed. Then he thought of another visit to the Potter house, and his spirits lifted instantly.

"How old are your parents?" Sirius asked James out of the blue.

James laughed. "Pretty old, actually. They were already old when they had me."

"Guess you're one of those late-life treasure things, right?" Remus said.

James laughed again. "I never thought of it that way, but I guess."

"No wonder you're so spoiled," Sirius laughed.

Peter rolled his eyes.

"I want Lily Evans," James said suddenly.

"Give it up, James," Sirius sighed. "The only time she looks at you is when she's giving you the evil eye. And her evil eye is kind of scary. Her eyes glow green."

James laughed. "Maybe it's because her eyes _are_ green. But I'm not giving up on her. Not yet, anyway. I love her."

"I think it's a bit soon for that, mate," Sirius said, aghast.

"What I don't understand," James plodded on, "is why she's friends with Snivelly. I've seen them around the castle together."

"They were friends before," Remus said, rolling his eyes. "We've been over this."

"But why won't she spend time with me?" James sighed. "Why that slimy git?"

"Hmm, let me think. Maybe because she disapproves of all the pranks you pull? Like she's told you, many times?" Remus said sarcastically.

James considered this for a moment. "Nope," he finally said.

Remus looked at James in exasperation. "You really need this summer off. The heat's melted the common sense area of your brain."

James just laughed.

The four boys played Exploding Snap and Wizard's Chess for the rest of the train ride. They discussed all the stuff they found around the castle lately.

"I'm just dying to know what's behind that statue of the one-eyed witch's hump," James mused thoughtfully.

"I hope it's a secret passageway," Peter said. "It's always cool to find one of those.

"We need to keep going back to the Room of Requirement for information on Animagi," Remus added. "Madam Pince glares at us every time we even walk past her."

"So what are our goals next year?" Sirius asked loudly.

"Become Animagi!" Remus said.

"Yeah!" James, Sirius and Peter cheered, sounding like cheerleaders.

"Hex Snivelly to China!" Sirius yelled.

"Yeah!" James, Peter and Remus cheered.

"Find more secrets to the castle!" Peter said.

"Yeah!" James, Sirius and Remus cheered.

"Love Lily Evans!" James shouted.

Peter, Sirius and Remus burst into laughter.

James was a hopeless case.

* * *

The train arrived in the station. Sirius noticed his parents as soon as he stepped off the train, hugging Regulus. His insides tightened with hate. Then, he looked to see James's parents smiling and waving at him. He felt his insides loosen again. This summer looked so much more promising than last summer.

"How do you think your parents feel?" asked Remus.

Sirius laughed darkly. "Oh, they won't miss me at all, their traitorous son."

"Well, you know, I'm sure that deep down…"

"They care?" Sirius finished. "I thought you knew enough about my family by now, Remus." He laughed darkly again. "They won't miss me."

Sirius's turned to his mother and father again. They were looking at him with a mixture of happiness and hate. Sirius knew they were happy he was to spend some time in a "pureblood environment", learning how to be a Black the right way. They still hated him. That would never change. Sirius noticed that he didn't care anymore. He walked over to James and his family.

"How are you, Sirius?" Mrs. Potter asked, smiling.

"Fine," Sirius replied. "How are you?"

"Pretty good myself."

"How's your year been?" Mr. Potter asked.

James and Sirius grinned at each other. "Fantastic," they replied.

Mrs. Potter beckoned James and Sirius to follow her as she and her husband started walking out of the station. "Heda has cooked a great feast for us all."

James and Sirius waved goodbye to Peter and Remus. They waved back, smiling.

"I'll owl you, James!" Peter yelled.

They were in another Ministry car, just like last time. Just like last time, Sirius was elated. This time, Sirius knew he was going to a place that he called his home away from home.

Heda was indeed waiting for them. As soon as James and Sirius stepped out of the car, she ran out of the house with a beaming smile and gave them each a hug.

"Master Sirius! So nice to see you again!" she squeaked. Sirius couldn't help but smile.

Sirius once again settled into life at the Potters' easily. Heda was happy to make him anything he liked, and everyone was always warm and nice to him.

"You know, I'm having a rather hard time deciding which place I like better… Hogwarts or your house," Sirius said to James as they looked through Quidditch magazines in his room.

James laughed. "Glad you approve of our hospitality. It's rather nice here, but I'd rather be at Hogwarts with you, Remus and Peter."

Sirius thought this through, then smiled. "I guess you're right. In a way, I don't think I could go through life if you guys weren't there."

James returned the smile. "Glad to help."

* * *

Remus and Peter came to visit together for a day. They ran around the garden and played all the games that didn't require a wand. Remus was looking quite pale; Sirius guessed that the full moon was coming soon. He felt terrible for a bit, and resolved resolutely to become Animagi as soon as possible.

That day reminded Sirius of their days at school. He missed the castle. As wonderful as the house of Potter was, he loved the castle with all his heart and could not wait to return.

Two days after, James and Sirius were playing an extremely gruesome round of Wizard's Chess when the doorbell rang. At first, James just looked at Sirius, wondering who would call on the Potters. When the doorbell rang again, James and Sirius's curiosity got the best of them. They crept silently down the stairs and stopped at the foot of the stairs. They could see what was going on, but was shielded from view.

"Perfect," Sirius whispered.

James's parent's opened the door. They looked rather surprised to see two hooded figures standing on the steps to their home.

"Hello," said a voice from one of the hooded figures. "I assume you know why we are here."

Mr. Potter looked puzzled. "Not really."

Figure numbers two spoke. "The Dark Lord is gaining power. Soon, there will be nothing to stop him. By joining our side, you will not only be joining the greatest wizard of all time, but get a chance at unstoppable glory when some day, the Death Eaters will rule the world. What say you? Will you join our side, the all powerful?"

Mr. Potter looked at the hooded figures and shook his head. "No," he said flatly.

"What did you say?" figure number one screeched.

"No," Mrs. Potter said, just as flatly. "We will not be persuaded to join this Dark Lord person unless it is for the good of the world."

"It's for the good of our world, the world of the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord," figure number one snarled.

"You mean Voldemort?" Mr. Potter asked.

The hooded figures flinched. "No one says his name! He could vaporize you here on the spot!"

"I'll take that chance," Mr. Potter said coldly. "The answer is no."

The Death Eaters looked take aback. Finally, figure number one spoke. "You'll be sorry, Potter." With that, they swept from the doorway and Disapparated.

Mrs. Potter looked at her husband worriedly. "Should we tell Dumbledore, Harold? I think he'll want to alert the Order of this."

James exchanged a look with Sirius. Sirius looked puzzled back.

Mr. Potter sighed. "Dumbledore probably already knows of this, he may have already alerted the Order."

James couldn't contain his curiosity anymore. "Order?" he asked loudly from the stairway. "What's the Order?"

Mr. and Mrs. Potter turned to look at the two boys, horrified. "Nothing, James."

"I want to know!" James insisted stubbornly.

Mr. Potter sighed, looking older than ever. "James, we can't talk about the Order to you until you're in the Order."

James sighed in fury. "Fine, at least tell me what those Death Eater things were doing here."

"James!" Mrs. Potter said angrily. "How long have you been standing there?'

"Long enough," James said, looking straight at his mother.

Mr. Potter sighed again. "James, they were just looking for friends. Now I want you and Sirius to go back up to your room. I want to hear no more about any of this."

"Fine," James muttered. He stormed back up to his room, grabbing Sirius with him.

"What d'you reckon that was about?" Sirius asked once James had shut the door.

"I think I might know," James said grimly. "Those Death Eater people were working for this Dark Lord guy that's off his rocker, called Voldemort or something. They want to recruit people into this dark army to fight against good or something. Apparently he wants to get rid of all the people that aren't pureblood. At least, that's the idea I'm getting from listening in on my parents' conversations."

"He's like my family," Sirius whispered darkly.

"What?"

"He's like my family, James," Sirius said loudly. "He thinks that people who aren't pureblood aren't worthy to live."

Sirius slammed his fist against a desk. "I hate my family, therefore I hate him. He has to be stopped, and I will fight it."

James smiled weakly. "What are you going to do, Sirius? We're going into our third year at Hogwarts."

"I don't care," Sirius said darkly, his eyes stormy. "I'll fight it. I'm glad that your parents turned him down."

James nodded in understanding. Sirius looked out the window at the sunshine. A while ago the sun was beaming brightly, not a care in the world. Now it was rather shrouded by some dark clouds that were refusing to let the beams escape.

Sirius didn't want to turn out like his family. He had to fight.


	19. All Aboard

A/N: WOW I found a laptop! Score! Consider this a treat

I hate the title of the whole fanfiction. Well I don't hate it, but it's not much good, and when I picked the title I was rushing into it. So…any suggestions? The title _may_ be changing for the next few days so hang on tight!

Thanks to all the readers and reviewers yet again!

* * *

_September, 1792_

* * *

All Aboard

"Petunia! Are you sure you don't want to come to the train station with us?" Mrs. Evans yelled up the stairs.

"No!" Petunia yelled back.

Mr. Evans sighed in exasperation and looked at Lily. She shrugged helplessly.

"At least say goodbye to your sister!" Mrs. Evans yelled back.

"No!" screamed Petunia.

"Petunia," Mr. Evans said in a warning tone.

There was a moment of silence.

"Goodbye, freak, and don't ever come back!"

Lily bit her lip and tried to blink back the tears. She threw open the door, ran outside and slammed her trunk into the car.

"I'll talk to Petunia later," Mr. Evans said, walking out onto the front porch and looking back at Petunia's bedroom.

"It's okay, Daddy," Lily whispered softly. "I understand."

On the car ride to the train station, Lily contemplated her summer. There were almost no good memories. Her mother and father, of course, had been extremely supportive of her. They had always wanted to hear about school and her classes and friends.

Petunia, on the other hand, refused to talk to Lily. When she did, it was to call her a freak. She had never missed the chance to tell Lily that she was a horrible monster that ruined the family and their good name.

When she was feeling particularly upset, she always vented her frustrations by talking with Snape. She didn't know if she could have survived all these vacations without his support. At times, she thought she saw in his eyes a greedy, hungry look, but it never persisted. She was grateful that he was always there for her, and happy that she saw him frequently, especially with Petunia being so unreasonable.

The car sped past emerald trees. Lily's father had always said that the trees reminded him of Lily's eyes, a sparkling, crystal green. That brought a small smile to her face.

Lily sighed. She missed her old sister. She missed the person she could talk to. She missed the Petunia with whom she used to play and have fun. She missed the person who accepted her. She felt the tears finally slide down her face.

Mrs. Evans caught this sigh. "Lily, Petunia's just going through some tough issues right now. She doesn't hate you, you know. Deep down, she really loves you."

"Really," Lily laughed hollowly. "Well then she's very, very good at keeping secrets and hiding her true feelings."

"Don't mind Petunia, dear. She'll come around," Mr. Evans said.

_I sure hope so_, Lily thought to herself as the car pulled itself into the train station.

Lily climbed out of the car and dragged her trunk with her. She wiped the tears off her face with her sleeve. It was time to move past Petunia. She was going back to Hogwarts, somewhere she knew she belonged.

"Bye Daddy," she said, hugging Mr. Evans goodbye.

She turned to her mom, who gave her a reassuring smile.

"Bye Mummy," she said, returning the smile and giving Mrs. Evans a hug.

She watched as her parents got back in the car and drove away. Smiling, she made her way through the barrier and onto the platform. She saw the Hogwarts Express in all its glory, and sighed in longing. The castle was her home, and she could not wait to get back to it.

"Lily!"

A piercing shriek met Lily's ears, and she turned to see a blur of dark hair racing toward her. The next thing she knew, she felt someone's arms wrap around her to give her a hug.

"Hello, Marcella," Lily laughed.

Marcella let go of Lily. "Hello yourself. God, I missed you!"

Lily looked at Marcella, whose eyes were shining and could not help but laugh. "I missed you too, Marci."

"Let's find a compartment," Marcella suggested.

"Good idea," agreed Lily, dragging her trunk onto the train. They found a compartment near the middle of the train and set their luggage down. Then, they plunked down comfortably into their seats.

"How was your summer?" Marcella asked.

Lily sighed. "You know, same old, same old. Petunia was just as unreasonable as ever. She wouldn't even look at me, let alone talk to me."

Marcella hummed sympathetically.

"Other than that little factor, you know, my summer went pretty well. What about you?"

"Not so good," Marcella replied.

"Why?" Lily asked, worried.

"Nothing really bad," Marcella assured Lily, laughing. "Some creepy hooded people came to our house."

"What did they want?"

"They wanted our family to join this Dark Lord guy."

"You mean Voldemort?" Lily asked curiously.

Marcella shook her head anxiously. "I can't say his name. My parents told me not to."

"What?" Lily asked, puzzled. "Why?"

Marcella bent her head to whisper, "He's supposedly the most powerful sorcerer of all time, you know. He's a wizard with such immense power that saying his name might do you a lot of harm."

"Oh come off it," Lily laughed.

"No, Lily, I'm serious. He's the most powerful wizard in the world."

"You know that's not true, Marcella. Dumbledore's the greatest and most powerful wizard in the world."

Marcella looked doubtful. "Maybe you're right," she said at last.

"So the rumors are true?" Lily asked, breathless. "Voldemort really is getting stronger?"

"Shush!" Marcella whispered, scandalized. "Do you want to be vaporized on the spot? We refer to him as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named or You-Know-Who."

Lily shrugged. "Voldemort's shorter."

Marcella looked at her with a mixture of admiration and exasperation. "Let's not talk about this anymore. It sucks the fun out of everything."

Lily laughed. "Right you are, Marci."

"Want to play some Wizard's Chess?" Marcella asked.

Lily shrugged again. "Sure."

Marcella stood to retrieve her chess set. Lily glanced out the window of their compartment while waiting. The steam was finally coming from the front of the train, meaning that they would surely be moving soon. Sure enough, the train slowly chugged and started moving, pulling away from the station that so many family members were standing on, still waving goodbye to their loved ones. Lily smiled to herself.

As they gained, speed, Lily's sharp emerald eyes caught two figures jumping aboard the train at the last second. Her eyes narrowed. She knew those two boys.

* * *

"We are so lucky to have caught the train," James groaned, pulling his luggage while jumping up the last step of the train.

Sirius laughed, already ahead of James. "That was kind of exciting, don't you think?"

James rolled his eyes. "I think it would have been if we weren't worried to have missed the train back to Hogwarts."

Sirius laughed again, a bark-like laugh. He plodded down the corridor, dragging his trunk. "It's not my fault we were late, you know."

"Yes it was," James said, laughing. "It's completely your fault that half the girls you passed wanted to talk and flirt with you."

"No it's not my fault that I was blessed with such looks," Sirius retorted.

James snorted.

"Besides," Sirius smirked, "I can't say it was entirely me…"

James rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, your best mate's your competition. That's such a scandal."

"Seriously, Potter. Did you not realize that they were flirting with you too?" Sirius accused, smirking. He pulled his baggage further down the corridor.

"Did you not realize that I wasn't flirting back?" James shot back, grinning. He ran his hands through his hair.

"That's rather stupid, you know," Sirius commented.

James laughed. "Not really. Besides, there's only one girl for me."

They reached the compartment where Lily and Marcella sat, playing Wizard's Chess. Marcella looked up and waved at the boys, while Lily seemed to be concentrating on her next move.

James reached up to ruffle his hair, looking hopefully at Lily. Lily's head remained bent. James, disappointed, continued down the train.

Once they were past the compartment, Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "Still on about Evans, then?"

"I love her," James said simply. "She's the only one I'll ever love."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Give it up."

"Never."

Sirius sighed in exasperation. "I see a summer away hasn't mended your brain in any way," he said jokingly.

"No, I suppose not," James said softly.

Sirius instantly regretted his words. "Don't worry mate, she'll come around," he said as reassuringly as possible.

James shot Sirius a small smile. They reached their usual compartment and were surprised to find Remus and Peter standing outside it.

"What's going on?" Sirius asked, surprised.

"We can't find anywhere to sit. The train's full," Peter answered.

"What about our compartment?" Sirius asked stupidly.

Remus laughed. "It can't honestly be considered _our_ compartment, Sirius. It really doesn't have _our_ name on it or anything."

"So we have to stand for the whole train ride?" James groaned.

Remus shrugged. "I guess, unless we find a compartment."

"We can't go sit with anyone else?"

Remus sighed. "Do we know anyone else?"

"Lily."

"James, do you really think she'll let us sit with her? She'll probably hex us off the train. Well, at least you guys," Remus said, looking at James and Sirius.

"That's our compartment!" Sirius howled, looking at the compartment in front of them.

Remus sighed in exasperation. "For the last time Sirius, it does not belong to us. We all got on the train late."

Sirius took out his wand. "I'm about to make it our compartment."

James, Remus and Peter followed him. James looked excited and already drew his wand out. Remus looked apprehensive. Peter looked scared.

Sirius burst open the door of the compartment. In it sat five pale kids, from what it looked like all first years. They turned paler at the sight of Sirius.

Sirius raised his wand. "You're in our compartment."

James appeared beside Sirius and raised his wand too. "Please leave before we force you to leave."

Remus and Peter also appeared, wands raised, but they remained silent.

A particularly pale boy spoke up. "I think that we are perfectly within our right to be seated here. First come, first serve."

Sirius narrowed his eyes menacingly. The boy sat farther back in his chair.

"I don't think you own the compartment," another pale boy said nervously. "It doesn't have your name on it."

James waved his wand and wrote out his name in the air, then with a flick of his wand pasted it onto the door of the compartment. "There. Now it does."

"Move out," Remus said, half commanding, half pleading. He couldn't bring himself to truly bully these scared first years. He hoped they would have the sense to get out before Sirius and James taught them ballet.

"Please get out, or we'll be forced to hex you," Sirius sneered.

The first years ran out of the compartment. Sirius hit the last one with a particularly well-placed Bat-Bogey Hex. The four boys roared with laughter at the sight.

"All's well that ends well," Sirius said cheerfully, plopping down into the nearest seat.

"I don't think you should have hexed that last one, Sirius," Peter said reproachfully.

Sirius just laughed some more. "I'll hex who I want to hex, Pettigrew. Besides, you can't honestly say that wasn't funny."

Peter broke into a huge smile. "Yeah, it was."

They laughed some more, and when the laughter finally subsided, Sirius spoke up.

"How was your summer, Peter and Remus?"

Peter laughed. "It was good. Some creepy figures came to our doorstep and asked for alliance with the Dark Lord or something. That was the obvious downside."

James's eyes widened. "That happened to me too!"

"Stupid Voldemort," Sirius retorted.

Peter gasped. "No one says his name anymore! Do you want to be vaporized on the spot?"

Sirius glanced at James and raised an eyebrow. He turned back to Peter. "I'd like to see him try," he said boldly.

Peter looked at Sirius with admiration.

"We shouldn't be afraid to say his name. It's stupid," Remus spoke up.

James nodded in agreement.

"Remus, did they come to your doorsteps too?" Peter asked.

"No," Remus said, smiling grimly. "I'm not pureblood, remember?"

"It doesn't matter," Sirius said firmly.

The food cart lady stopped by their compartment just then. As usual, the boys pooled their money for a huge stack of treats.

James looked out the window. The weather had turned from incredibly sunny to incredibly foggy. James could see absolutely nothing, and for a second wondered if the train would crash. Then, he thought of how grateful he was for the inside warmth of the train, and started to pity the first years who would be arriving by boat to the castle.

"We're going to earn reputations as bullies, you know," Remus said while munching on a pumpkin pasty. This dragged James back to reality.

Sirius shrugged. "Popularity is wicked. As long as people know who we are."

Remus rolled his eyes.

"I want Lily Evans," James said suddenly. He was halfway through a peppermint jellybean, and his face burned a crisp fire red. He looked like he was blushing so hard his face resembled Lily's hair.

Sirius laughed. "Ask her to Hogsmeade."

"That's a great idea," James said, his face lighting up. "I don't think she knows if I fancy her, though."

Sirius and Remus exchanged a look. Of course Lily knew. The only problem was that she didn't share the feelings that James had.

* * *

The horseless carriages once again took the boys back up to the castle. James caught a glimpse of Lily's sparkling eyes as she descended the train. He sighed, wishing that for once those beautiful emerald jewels would look his way.

They walked in to the Great Hall and sat down at the table.

"I'm so hungry!" Sirius moaned.

"Sorry, mate," James grinned. "You have to wait until all the first years are sorted."

Sirius groaned loudly. "Why does there have to be first years?"

Peter laughed. "We were once first years ourselves, you know."

Sirius groaned again.

The tired, pale and scared-looking first years finally made their way through the doors. Dripping wet with water, they made a huge puddle as they walked up to the sorting hat.

"Filch is not going to be happy about that," James laughed.

The first years glanced up at the ceiling in wonder and looked around in amazement. Remus held back the urge to laugh, knowing that a couple of years ago he had been in that exact position.

Sirius's stomach rumbled loudly all throughout the sorting. A particularly loud rumble caused most of the Gryffindor table to look at him in alarm, as if he was hiding a lion under his shirt.

The sorting finally ended, and Dumbledore stood up to say a few words. As he stood up, Sirius's stomach let out the loudest rumble yet. Many laughed at this, including Dumbledore.

"I won't detain you for long," Dumbledore chuckled. "I see that our hair is dripping and tummies rumbling, so I just have to say, tuck in."

Everyone cheered as food arrived on the table.

"Finally!" Sirius exclaimed, grabbing a chicken leg.

Everyone ate and ate. The atmosphere in the whole Great Hall was warm and cozy. Finally, after even Sirius stopped eating, Dumbledore stood up once more.

"Now that we are all warm and full of toffee, let me make a few announcements. The list of banned items is outside Mr. Filch's office. It includes some new items. The Forbidden Forest is strictly out of bounds unless accompanied by a teacher. And finally, no magic in the corridors." At this, Dumbledore looked pointedly at James and Sirius.

James and Sirius smiled at each other. That was one rule they will not obey.

"Where's Emmeline?" Sirius asked as everyone stood up to go back to the common room. "I need the password."

"Right here, Sirius," Emmeline laughed, tapping Sirius on the shoulder. She had a shiny new badge pinned to her robes.

James's eyes lit up. "You're head girl? That's great! You can get us out of trouble, then!"

Emmeline laughed again. "I don't think that was the reason Dumbledore chose to make me Head Girl, but I'll see what I can do."

"Where's Benjy?" Remus spoke up, looking around.

"Is he Head Boy?" Peter asked eagerly.

Emmeline shook her head. "Nope. He's stuck being Prefect, I'm afraid. Head Boy is some guy from Hufflepuff. Anyways, I've got to go, the new password is Doxy. See you around!"

With a wave and a smile, Emmeline sped off.

"How cool is she," Sirius said, smiling. "We can get away with so much this year!"

Remus rolled his eyes.

The four boys made their way up to the common room. They passed Benjy on the way and stopped to say hello. James saw Perry on the way and waved. They had just entered the common room when James saw a flurry of movement.

"James!" a girl shrieked.

The next thing he knew James was looking at a flustered and excited Lea.

"I've made Quidditch Captain!" Lea gave James a hug.

James laughed. "Good for you, you deserve it."

Lea smiled. "Thanks. Tryouts are next week, okay?" With that, she ran off, smiling and skipping.

James shrugged and led the way to their dormitory.

As the four boys went to bed that night, Sirius lay awake, thinking. He concluded that James was right. As nice as the Potter manse was, the castle was his home, along with his brothers.


	20. Hogsmeade

A/N: Wow! 50 reviews! I'm crying, thanks, guys. Anyway, I've been writing as much as I possibly can, but don't expect too many updates as I _am _on vacation.

I've been rereading my earlier chapters, and being my own reviewer, I can honestly say they suck. So I'm planning of rewriting or editing them... once I'm done with the whole story. I think. Yeah.

Harropotteravatarfan1: Thank you very much. This story is probably going to be a good 100 chapter, or maybe more, so of course I'm not stopping anytime soon.

SweetLikeALemon and Nimrodel Telcontar, you guys brighten my day. Thanks to all the readers and reviewers! Goodness I love you all.

* * *

_October, 1972_

* * *

Hogsmeade

"We are so incredibly late," James groaned as he and Sirius ran in the direction of the Transfiguration class.

"This still worries you?" Sirius panted. "We've been late so many times I've lost count!"

"Whatever," James said. He rounded the corner and ran into the classroom. Sirius was right behind him.

They sank into their usual seats as Professor McGonagall glared at them from her desk.

"Why are you late, Mr. Black and Mr. Potter?" she asked disapprovingly.

Sirius grinned cheekily at her. "We were studying in the library."

"Unlikely," Professor McGonagall said coldly. "Ten points from Gryffindor, and a week's worth of detention for both of you."

James and Sirius just smiled. They considered detention a routine part of their day.

"Where were you?" Remus asked out of the corner of his mouth.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "In the library. That's why we're always late."

Remus looked at him in exasperation and went back to taking notes.

James looked around the classroom and his eyes fell on Lily. She was looking at him with her eyes narrowed to a glare. James smiled charmingly at her and winked. Lily's eyes narrowed further and she turned around, fuming.

"They're so immature," she complained to Marcella while the class was trying to turn a cup to a rat.

Marcella sighed. "You've been saying that for over two years, Lily dear. I thought you'd be used to it by now."

"Never!" Lily exclaimed, sending her cup flying with a wave of her hand. It smashed, and Professor McGonagall looked at her disapprovingly.

"_Reparo_," Lily muttered. The cup mended itself. "Honestly, though. They don't care about losing points for Gryffindor, and they've recently taken to hexing people in the hallways! Emmeline won't even do anything about it, because everyone thinks they're funny."

Marcella laughed. "You have to admit, they kind of are funny."

Lily turned to Marcella, shocked.

"Lighten up, Lily," she said, smiling.

Fuming, Lily jabbed her cup so hard that it shattered once more. Once more Lily repaired it, and heard a cheer from another table. She turned to see James holding an ugly brown rat. She watched as he turned it back into a brown cup, and she watched McGonagall give James ten points for Gryffindor.

Marcella leaned towards Lily. "They just earn the points right back, you know."

Unable to think of a witty reply, Lily settled for sulking quietly while James demonstrated his skills.

At the end of the class, everyone except Peter had managed to turn a cup into a rat. He was the only one given extra homework.

"Just a minute," Professor McGonagall said to the class as they began to stand up and leave. "I have one more announcement. The first Hogsmeade trip is this weekend."

There were murmurs of excitement throughout the classroom.

McGonagall held out her hand to silence the class. "Those of you with permission forms please bring them and don't forget. Hogsmeade is a really great place, if I do say so myself." Professor McGonagall gave the class a small smile. "Have fun."

"Excellent!" James exclaimed as they walked out of McGonagall's room. "I've been waiting to go to Hogsmeade since I was a first year!"

Remus laughed. "I'm looking forward to it myself. I've heard that Zonko's is the best joke shop around!"

"Wonderful!" Peter gasped, smiling delightedly.

Sirius, however, frowned. James noticed this.

"What's wrong, mate?"

Sirius frowned deeper. "You parents signed your permission form, right?"

James nodded.

"I don't think I gave my permission form to my parents," Sirius said. "It came with my letter, and my letter was sent to your house."

Comprehension dawned on James's face. "But you have to be allowed to go!" he said frantically. "Go ask McGonagall to sign it or something!"

Sirius highly doubted it would work, but he turned back to the classroom anyway, his friends on his heel.

He entered the classroom and found her sitting at her desk. He walked up to her. "Professor?"

Professor McGonagall looked up in surprise. "Yes, Mr. Black?"

Sirius fidgeted with his hands. "Uh, I spent the summer at James Potter's house and had no contact with my parents whatsoever, so there was no way I could have, erm, gotten them to sign my permission form. I was, uh, wondering if you would, er, sign it for me?" he finished in a desperate voice.

Professor McGonagall just looked at him. "I'm sorry, Mr. Black," she finally said. "I am not your parent or your guardian, so me signing your form would do nothing."

"But – "

"You could have owled them the permission form."

Sirius opened his mouth, and then closed it, unable to think of any response.

"The answer is no, Mr. Black," Professor McGonagall said with a trace of pity in her eyes.

"Thanks anyway," Sirius muttered and walked out of the classroom. He saw the eager and worried faces of his friends and sighed.

"No luck," he said to the rest of them gloomily.

James looked crestfallen. "Send them the form now!"

"They won't sign it," Sirius said tonelessly. "They're already furious with me because the Potters refused to service Voldemort."

At this, Peter winced.

"Oh come off it, Peter," Sirius snapped. "It's a bloody name."

Peter winced again.

"At least send it to them," Remus persisted. "The worst they can do is send it back blank."

"They won't sign it," Sirius said shortly.

"Try," Remus persuaded.

Sirius sighed resignedly. "Okay, Remus. I'll send it to them." With that, he set off for the owlery alone.

* * *

The next few days at breakfast, Sirius constantly glanced up when the mail came to look for the snowy owl he had sent with his permission form to his parents. Every day he was disappointed, and stabbed moodily at his breakfast while James, Remus and Peter tried to console him.

"You know, it's probably not that great anyway," Peter said in a completely unconvincing tone.

"Yeah," Sirius said, completely killing his bacon with a fork.

The day of the trip, Sirius rose earlier than Remus, a feat he accomplished for the first time. He went down to the breakfast table early to wait for the mail. Soon, Remus joined him, then Peter, then James. They ate breakfast together and when the mail came, they looked up with bated breaths.

A snowy owl made its way towards the Gryffindor table, but it's letter dropped in the lap of a boy in their year, who exclaimed to his friend that he was waiting for his Hogsmeade permission slip and it had finally come.

Sirius peered over at his slip, to make sure that it wasn't mixed up. It was indeed the boy's. Heart sinking, he returned to a sitting position, positively sulky by now.

"No luck?" James said softly.

Sirius shook his head.

"Are you sure you still want us to go?" Remus asked. "We could stay, you know."

Sirius forced a small smile. "I'm really not that stupidly selfish. Go on to Hogsmeade and have a good time."

"Are you sure?" Peter asked.

"Yeah," Sirius said sulkily.

James opened his mouth to say he would stay with Sirius, but Sirius, as if he could read James's mind, said, "shut it, Potter. If you don't go to Hogsmeade I myself will hex you there."

James closed his mouth. He opened it again. "We'll bring you back some stuff, mate. Chocolate and Zonko's products, eh?"

Sirius forced another small smile. "Sure."

The rest of breakfast was rather silent. The four friends usually trusted Sirius to be goofy and stupid. Obviously, he wasn't in the mood, so breakfast was rather subdued.

Sirius followed his friends outside to where Filch was collecting the permission slips. He watched warily as his friends handed the slips over and joined the rest of their chattering classmates. Shoulders slumped, he returned to the castle.

James looked back at his retreating friend and considered staying in Hogwarts, but shook his head. Sirius would keep himself entertained, and he trusted James to have a good time. With one last wave, James caught up to Remus and Peter.

Sirius waved back and retreated farther into the castle.

James looked at Remus and Peter, starting to smile in spite of Sirius. "Where to first, gentlemen?"

* * *

Sirius's mood did not improve as he walked aimlessly around the castle. He hexed a first year for getting in his way, and muttered curses at everything in sight. He almost hexed Professor McGonagall as she was passing.

"Mr. Black!" McGonagall said loudly as she realized a wand was in her face. "What in Merlin's name are you doing?" Her lips were as thin as ever.

Sirius quickly lowered his wand. "Sorry, Professor," he mumbled tonelessly. "I had nothing to do… all my friends are at Hogwarts."

Her expression softened. "Stop hexing people, Black, or I shall be forced to give you a month's worth of detentions." With that, she walked off.

Sirius gloomily stuffed his wand back in his pocket and wandered some more. He realized that he wasn't an expert on having fun when his friends weren't around. He angrily kicked the wall, imagining that it was his parents, and hopped around on one foot in pain. Stumbling, he walked down the corridor with his big toe full of pain.

"Stupis house of Black," he muttered to himself. "Why don't they just kick me out? It's better than making my life miserable..."

He walked around some more. He felt like he was walking in circles and going nowhere in particular. But he didn't want to go back up to the common room. Sirius sighed in frustration. This was his life.

"Stupid_ toujours pur_," he muttered to himself.

Sirius walked up the stairs to the third floor and halfway through the corridor arrived at the statue of the one-eyed witch. He eyed it warily. He wanted to wait until his friends were there to test the passage out, but he was so desperate for something to do he shook it off.

Scrambling behind it, he took out his wand and tapped it.

"_Dissendium_!" he muttered and watched in satisfaction as the hump of the witch opened wide enough for his to squeeze through.

He climbed in carefully, and felt himself slide and land on his arm with a thump somewhere cold and hard. He rubbed his arm and stood up groggily. Unable to see in the darkness, his head hit a wall with a resounding _bonk_.

"Ow!" he muttered to himself.

Sirius whipped out his wand. "_Lumos_."

At once the passageway filled with light. Sirius saw that it was small and narrow. He breathed, feeling grateful that he wasn't enormously fat.

He stumbled on, tripping and cursing with his painful toe and the uneven dirt of the tunnel. Sweaty and red-faced, he finally made his way up the tunnel.

"Finally," he whispered, relieved, as he arrived at a trapdoor. Clambering up the stairs, he burst open the trapdoor and found himself in what seemed like the cellar of a store.

Now extremely excited, he poked around the cellar some more and found writing on the crates. He gasped in amazement. He was in the cellar of Honeydukes.

Heart pounding, he walked silently up the stairs leading to the main store. Bursting with excitement, he reached for the handle. Before he could touch it, the door wrenched open, and he found himself face-to-face with an incredibly freckly boy of about twenty.

He stared at Sirius.

Sirius stared back. He glanced at the boy's shirt. It had a badge that said, Hi! I'm Ambrosius Flume! on it. Sirius fought back a snicker and stared Ambrosius right back.

"What are you doing here?" Ambrosius said, his eyes narrowed.

Sirius smiled charmingly. "I was hired a day ago."

"Out!" Ambrosius roared, spit flying.

Laughing lightly, Sirius ran out of the cellar and out of Honeydukes. He looked around, taking in the whole of the village for the first time. The cottages and shops were so cozy against the biting wind. He decided to head to Zonko's, the joke shop. He smiled with satisfaction.

"No, definitely not," Sirius heard Remus's voice say loudly. "Sirius will not want a rotten fish for a present."

"Why not?" James laughed. "Give it to him and watch his face as it starts giving off highly smelly fumes. It's hilarious."

Sirius turned in the direction of their voice and saw Peter shake his head with amusement.

"No," Remus said, now laughing as well. "We can't exactly take this up to Sirius and ask him if he wants it."

"Why not?" Sirius spoke up from behind the group.

Remus whipped around and stared in surprise. James turned and beamed. Peter jumped about a mile.

"What are you doing here?" Remus asked frantically.

"I've come to haunt you from my death," Sirius said in a bored voice.

"How did you get here?" Peter squeaked.

"One-eyed witch," Sirius said simply.

"That leads to Hogsmeade?" Remus asked hoarsely.

"Well, to the cellar of Honeydukes, to be exact."

James beamed with pride. "Perfect!"

"Not perfect," Remus said sternly. "Sirius, you don't have a permission form, how in the world are you supposed to stay out of sight and not get caught?"

Sirius shrugged. "There are so many people here that the chances of me even being caught without a permission slip is laughable."

Remus looked worried.

Sirius laughed. "Come on, Remus, lighten up, will you? Are you going to report me?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Like I'd be that stupid. I'm just worried you'll get into trouble."

"What's the fun without the risk?" Sirius walked over to a display of Screaming Smilies. "These are great!"

Remus sighed, giving in. "Okay, I think we've shopped out Zonko's. Where to next?"

They walked out of the store, clutching their purchases. The biting wind made them shiver. Leaves swirled serenely past them, occasionally smacking an unsuspecting student full in the face. Sirius, Remus, James and Peter looked around the little cobbled street and saw the Three Broomsticks with its warm glow and cheery windows.

"Let's go there," James and Peter said at the same time.

"I was about to suggest the same thing!" Remus and Sirius exclaimed as one.

They all looked and each other and laughed. Walking inside the Three Broomsticks, they saw an empty table big enough for all of them. They ran over to it, and sat down.

A curvy and attractive barmaid came over to take their order. "What'll it be, gentlemen?"

Sirius looked up and grinned cheekily. "What, no hello?"

"I'm sorry," she said, grinning. "I'm Madam Rosmerta."

"I'm Sirius Black and those are my best friends, James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew." Sirius stuck out his hand.

Madam Rosmerta shook it. "First time in Hogsmeade?"

James laughed. "Is it that obvious?"

Madam Rosmerta laughed. "I don't recognize you. But be sure, gentlemen, I shall remember you from now on, and you'll get the best service possible. Now, what'll it be?"

"Four butterbeers, please," Remus ordered for the four of them.

"Coming right up," she said, and walked away.

Sirius let out a sigh. James laughed at him.

Once they finished their butterbeers, they waved goodbye to Madam Rosmerta and headed farther down the cobbled streets.

"Now what?" Peter asked.

James looked at his watch. "I'd love to go up to the shrieking shack, but it's rather far, and we don't have time today. How's about we go another day and save the rest of the trip for Honeydukes?"

"Sounds good," Remus said.

Sirius laughed. "I hope that Ambrosius guy doesn't recognize me."

They all laughed.

Once inside the crowded Honeydukes, the four friends split up. Remus gaggled at the various sugar quills. James thought the levitating sherbert candies were incredibly amusing. Sirius tested a Pepper Imp, and scorched almost all of Peter's eyebrows off.

Remus headed over to the unusual tastes section. His eyes wandered over to the blood lollipops. He gulped, knowing that in a couple of days, he would probably be craving those.

They paid for their purchases. Remus offered James some Ice Mice.

"It's okay," James said, laughing. "I'm cold enough as it is, thank you."

"It's time to head back," Peter said in disappointment. He gingerly touched his scorched eyebrow.

"Sorry about that, mate," Sirius said. "Well, I guess I'll see you guys later, then."

He walked back in the direction of Honeydukes.

"See you back at the castle," James called as Sirius headed back into Honeydukes.

"We'll save the Shrieking Shack for another day," Remus shouted.

Sirius smiled as he walked back into Honeydukes. He could not wait for their next visit to Hogsmeade.


	21. The Shrieking Shack

A/N: Sorry, rather short chapter here. I considered putting it together with the next chapter but decided not to as it would be a humongous chapter.

Thanks again to Alexa, GreenDragonDurl, Nietta, Nimrodel Telcontar and many others for the continuing support.

Yes, I finally decided to change the name of the fic to... ta-da! Distant Memories :) If you don't like it or have another suggestion, please comment! I love you guys.

* * *

_October, 1972_

* * *

The Shrieking Shack

Sirius carefully made his way back into Honeydukes, earning an especially nasty glare from Ambrosius. He ducked silently back in the cellar of Honeydukes while Ambrosius was turned away. It took him a while to find the trapdoor as it was blended so perfectly with the floor. Sirius managed to hoist himself into the hole just as he heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

Heart pounding, Sirius made his way back down the tunnel and up again. Silently making his way through the witch's hump, he closed it just as a group of first years were passing.

Beaming, Sirius made his way back up to the common room. He found his friends waiting for him there.

"How'd it go?" James asked, sitting up straighter at the sight of Sirius.

"Good," panted Sirius, face glowing. "That tunnel is perfect for sneaking into Hogsmeade. Are there any others?"

Remus shrugged. "I don't know." He grinned. "That tunnel is really cool, though." Remus refrained from saying that he knew of a passageway that most definitely led out of the castle. He himself had no idea where the house was located that he transformed in every month.

Peter smiled. "So you finally agree, eh?"

Remus laughed. "I guess. Like Sirius said, what's a bit of fun without the risk?"

They all laughed.

"Where do you go to transform, Remus?" Sirius suddenly asked. His curiosity was killing him. He wanted answers.

James sighed in exasperation and shot Sirius a look. Sirius ignored him.

"Where do you go?"

Remus's face hardened immediately. "Sirius, we've been through this. I can't tell you."

"But why?" Sirius whined. "We're your best friends!"

"I know."

"I thought best friends told each told everything."

Remus glared at Sirius. "Don't you dare turn this problem around as if it were my fault. Yes, we are best friends, but I can't tell you every little thing. Some I choose to keep a secret.

"Do you not trust us?" Sirius asked shrewdly.

"Of course I trust you!" Remus said, annoyed. "That's not the problem."

"What _is_ the problem?"

By now, they were both getting rather loud.

"Guys, be quiet," Peter whimpered as people started looking at them.

"We won't tell anyone!" Sirius said, lowering his voice.

Remus looked down at his feet. "I know," he said softly. "But Dumbledore made me promise I would never tell anyone."

He looked up. "And I'm going to try my best to keep that promise."

With that, Remus stood up abruptly and headed toward the dormitories. They heard a door slam above them.

James looked at Sirius. "Way to go. Why do you always have to ruin the mood?"

"Oh, so it's all my fault?" Sirius asked indignantly.

"Yes," James said angrily. "Why can't you just respect his wishes and leave him alone?"

"I don't know," snapped Sirius. "I'm curious."

"Well curiosity killed the cat," James snapped back. "Keep on being curious and we might lose a friend. Drop it, Sirius."

James stood up and walked up the steps to the dormitory. Peter followed James. Sirius sat alone in the common room, both angry and confused.

* * *

As good friends always do, they made up in the next few days. Sirius heeded James and stopped pestering Remus, to which Remus was immensely grateful. A flustered Lea ran up to James at breakfast time.

"Oh, I'm sorry that the Quidditch tryouts were so late this year!" she moaned, skidding to a stop.

"Hey, don't worry," James said, patting her on the back.

"It's just I never thought I would be captain. I took it for granted that would be Trey's job."

James laughed. "How is he taking it?"

Lea laughed too. "Pretty well, actually. He's been saying I deserve to be captain."

"You do," James said firmly. "If anyone tells you otherwise, aim a Bludger to their head."

Lea laughed again. "Thanks, James. Tryouts are this Saturday, okay? We're looking for a seeker now that Connor's left."

"It's going to be hard to replace Connor... he was a wonderful Seeker."

Lea smiled. "Yeah, but I guess now he's moving on to bigger and better things..."

"We'll find a Seeker," James said reassuringly.

Lea smiled again andwalked off, still a bit flustered. James returned to his breakfast.

"Saturday," he mused. "Two days from now. That's fine."

"What are we doing after?" Peter asked.

"Depends on how long the tryouts last," James said slowly. "We usually have something planned for weekends, right? Like practicing for - "

He stopped at a warning glare from Remus.

"- Transfiguration?"

Sirius laughed. "We usually do that."

It was true. On their spare time on the weekends, the boys often retreated to the Room of Requirement to do more Animagi research. So far, they found some bits of information that was true in almost all the books they read, and they decided to write those down on a big piece of parchment pinned in the left section of the room. The piece of parchment, though big, was by no means empty. They boys drew diagrams, made tallies and made notes on it. Every time Remus looked at it, he smiled, reminded of just how great his friends were. However, they were not even close to becoming Animagi - they hadn't even discovered all the steps left, let alone try to transform. Sirius was becoming discouraged. He was planning on becoming Animagi within a month.

Sirius thought for a moment. "This weekend, I'm feeling something different. I'm feeling … Hogsmeade."

"But Sirius, the next Hogsmeade visit isn't until next month," Peter said.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Don't be stupid, Peter. I'm talking secret passage."

James looked excited. "That's a great idea! We can visit the Shrieking Shack!"

"It's definitely haunted," Peter said, shivering.

"Really?" James asked, interested.

"Yeah, I overheard plenty of villagers talking about screams and violent banging going on in that house. No one dares to go near it."

James grinned. "Can't wait to check it out."

Remus looked uncertain.

Sirius caught this. "Come on, Remus! You said it yourself, what's the fun without a bit of risk?"

Remus still looked uncertain.

Sirius looked intently at him.

Remus's face broke slowly into a smile. "Okay."

"Excellent," Sirius beamed. "Now what time of the day should we go?"

"Afternoon," James said. "It's much easier to see."

Remus shook his head. "Night," he interjected, "for the exact same reason. If someone we knew was there, they'd report us to the teachers at school. If no one can see us, then that's even better."

"I agree with Remus," Peter spoke up.

James smiled. "Good ideas. What else?"

"We should bring your cloak, James," Remus said.

Sirius laughed. "You were the one objecting all this, Remus, and now you're directing everything."

Remus laughed also. "As much as I'm against this plan, I'm much more against getting caught."

James beamed. "We'll bring the cloak." He looked around at everyone's excited faces. "Gentlemen, we're set."

* * *

Saturday came without any further events, unless you count James and Sirius getting another Detention an event. The Quidditch field was nice and sunny by the time James arrived with his Cleansweep.

James raised an eyebrow. Apparently three people had come for the tryouts. James recognized a girl a few years older than him named Bertha Jorkins, who was an incredibly nosy gossip. He recognized Dirk Cresswell, a second year that was a smart student. The last boy he recognized to be a seventh year.

"James, I need a word with you," James heard Lea say quietly from behind him. He followed Lea to a deserted part of the stands. The rest of the team and the three hopefuls were already warming up.

"What is it?" James asked, now a bit concerned.

She looked at him. "I need to talk to you about Perry."

James sighed. "He's not very good, is he?"

"No," Lea said. "He's not. I want to replace him but I don't know how to do so…he's a sweet kid, and I don't want t hurt his feelings."

James looked at her. "You have to do what you have to do. Let's see if any of the three hopefuls are good Keepers, then."

"Okay," agreed Lea. They joined the rest of the team.

"Okay!" Lea said cheerfully. "Let's start the tryouts, then! Chasers first!"

The three hopefuls were no match for James, Eri and Liam. They worked seamlessly, scoring goal after goal. Lea was smiling to herself. She knew that these were the people that could not be replaced.

Next up were the beaters. Bertha Jorkins screamed as a Bludger was flying towards her head. The seventh year was pretty good, but obviously no match for Trey. Dirk refused to even try out for the position of Beater. Trey was obviously the best.

Now came Seeker and Keeper. Lea made the three hopefuls go head-to-head in Seeker mode. The seventh year, whose name was Adam, flew undoubtedly the best. Lea then made Perry, Bertha, Dirk and Adam Keepers and watched as James, Eri and Liam aimed Quaffles at them. Dirk saved none out of five. Bertha saved one. Adam saved four and Perry saved three.

"Okay," Lea said tiredly at the end of the tryouts. "Everyone was great. The results will be posted in a few days."

Bertha, Dirk and Adam walked off, all clutching their broomsticks.

"What did you guys think?" Lea asked the team.

"I say Adam," Eri volunteered.

The team debated for what seemed like forever. Finally, even Trey was losing his patience.

"Lea, you decide," he yawned. "You are the captain, after all." He stood up and left the field. Everyone except James followed him He turned to Lea instead.

Lea was flustered again. "James, what do I do?"

James thought for a moment. "I say we pick Adam for Seeker."

"What about Perry?"

James shrugged. "Keeper is less important that Seeker. Perry did save more than Bertha and Dirk combined."

Lea was deep in thought. Then she smiled. "Good idea, James."

He smiled back. "No problem." He looked at his watch and panicked. If he didn't go soon, there was no way they were going to make it to Hogsmeade before midnight.

James gave Lea a hug and ran up to the common room.

"Where were you?" Sirius asked disapprovingly as James ran into the dormitory, red-faced.

"Tryouts," James panted, gasping for breath. Regaining composure, he walked over to his trunk and took out the silvery cloak hiding beneath it. His eyes gleaming, he unfolded it.

"I love that thing," Remus breathed.

Peter laughed. "I can't wait to get back to Hogsmeade. Is it definitely nighttime?"

Remus looked out the window. The glimmering black abyss looked never-ending. The moon was almost at the fullest, and it gleamed brightly in the sky like chalk on a blackboard. Remus paled a bit. It was his worst fear that he had to face every month…

Sirius's eyes were gleaming as well as James's. He stood up. "Let's go." Remus snapped back to the present.

Sirius smiled. "Hogsmeade is waiting."

* * *

"Peter!"

"Sorry, James!"

"Now my arm really hurts."

"Sorry!"

"Shut it, the pair of you!"

"Shush!"

James found the cloak a lot harder to put over the four of them this year, mainly due to the fact that they had all gotten so incredibly tall. And big. It was a while since they all went under the cloak, and they found that it was harder than they thought it would be.

They made it to the third floor amid bruises and many scratches.

"This way," Sirius hissed.

"No, it's that way!" Remus argued.

"I've been here more than the rest of you," Sirius said impatiently.

Remus shrugged. He couldn't argue with that.

Sirius led them to a dead end, and then went to the right after retreating. They finally saw the statue of the one-eyed witch. James sighed in relief.

Sirius took out his wand. "_Dissendium,_" he whispered softly. The hump widened, and the four boys squeezed through.

"Wow," Peter said in amazement as they set off down the tunnel.

James took the cloak off of them and stuffed it under his arm. He glanced around at the tunnel. Not paying attention to the ground, he tripped and landed loudly on the uneven dirt.

Sirius reached a hand out to help James up. He laughed. "This passageway can do that to you."

"_Lumos,_" they all whispered into the darkness. At once, their wand lit up with light, filling the narrow passageway with beams of brightness.

"Are we there yet?" Remus asked after they had walked a considerable distance.

"Almost," Sirius said. The tunnel indeed began to turn up. They reached stone stairs, and Sirius lifted the trapdoor above them. He hoisted himself up first, and then reached down to help his friends.

"This is the cellar of Honeydukes," he said proudly.

"Wow," James gasped. He grinned wickedly. "Wonder if we can come here to nick free candy."

"James!" Remus said reproachfully.

"Just kidding."

They walked up the stairs and opened the door, finding themselves in a very dark candy store. Putting on the cloak, they stepped out of the shop.

"_Nox_," they all whispered, and watched as the beam of light faded from their wand tips.

Sirius was itching to go to the shrieking shack, and motioned silently for the others to follow. The darkening night resembled black ink. Their only source of light was the bright moon.

They walked on, occasionally passing a humming villager. They reached a sign that explicitly told them that the shack was haunted.

"Like we haven't already heard that," Sirius whispered sarcastically.

Stumbling and swearing, the four boys finally made their way to the front steps of the shack. Sirius looked at it and shivered. He wasn't superstitious, but in the dark of the night, the old, worn and creepy house looked less than inviting.

James bravely pushed open the door and stepped inside, taking the cloak off all of them.

"_Lumos_," he said in a whisper. His wand tip filled with brightness again. Light instantly filled the room. The house seemed to creak and sag with its new inhabitants.

"Wicked," Sirius said, looking at the chairs and examining the various broken legs and scratches.

James wandered up the crickety stairs to examine the rooms. He came back down after placing a foot on the steps.

"It might not be strong enough," he said.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Your head's too big."

"Prat," James shot back.

Sirius laughed. "You know it."

There was some blood on the walls. James looked at this in wonder. Whose blood could this be?

Badly shattered furniture littered the floor. James promptly tripped over a chair with its legs torn off. Sirius helped him up.

"And you're a Quidditch player?" he said jokingly.

Peter roamed about, sniffing gingerly and cowering in fear at any movement.

Remus, however, stayed transfixed on the spot. Ever since James had lit up the room, he thought he recognized something. Everything looked familiar. Too familiar. It was like entering a place that he thought he knew, but never really looked at. It hit him as he looked at a particularly nasty gash on a ripped and worn couch. He let out a horrified gasp.

James caught this. "What's wrong, Remus?" He walked over concernedly to his friend.

"I – I did this," Remus choked, pointing at the couch.

"What?" Peter asked confusedly.

"I did it," Remus gasped, paling.

"You can't have done it, you've never been here," James said slowly, now looking worried.

Remus paled even more. He was now a delicate shade of green. "This is where I go to transform every month. The werewolf did this." He pointed around at the weakening house.

James, Peter and Sirius were gaping at him, apparently unable to speak. Remus looked around at their astonished faces.

"I did this," he whispered hoarsely into the silent air.


	22. Marauders

A/N: Well I've finally decided to fix the prologue. Yay, go me. Long A/N, skip if you wish.

Machiavelli Jr: Wow, thanks so much for the constructive criticism! You rock. :)I've been trying to make Peter more... something ...but I just don't like him... Haha, that really shouldn't get in the way of my writing though. Lily and James... their arch-rivalry will come in their fourth year, hang tight. As for the Weasleys, Bill was born the year before the marauders came to Hogwarts, so the Weasleys were in school way before the marauders. Frank and Alice... it never said, but since Lily got pregnant early, I'm making them have a child when they're older. The Severus idea is pretty good, I might take you up on that...

Taylor: I got your review the day I was about to post this chapter, and it cheered me up. Thanks so much! You're right, I really should put more description into the setting. I'm planning on editing the whole story at some point, so I'll take you up on that. The way J.K. Rowling puts it, Remus and Peter _were _probably overshadowed by the famous Black and Potter, especially Peter, but if you'd like, I can include more of them. The fact is, I rather want Peter to be overshadowed, because the ignorance is probably why Sirius and James never even suspected him as spy. I'll try to fix the gramatical errors when I edit the story. Thanks so much for your review and words of encouragement!

Nimrodel Telcontar, glad you like the title. I actually really want to change it again, anyone has any suggestions? Okay, enough blabbering! Thanks again to all the readers and reviewers.

* * *

_October, 1972_

* * *

Marauders

The silence lingered for what seemed like forever. Peter, James and Sirius stared at Remus. Remus found that extremely uncomfortable and looked away.

"That was made by you?" Sirius asked quietly, pointing at the menacing slashes and the wall and the various marks on the chairs.

Remus nodded, throat too tight to speak. Tears were gathering in his eyes, but he shook them away. He saw the appalling damage he had done for the first time. He never got a chance to really look, really think what he did to this house.

And his friends. They must think he's a horrible, violent monster now. Remus swallowed. Maybe them becoming Animagi wasn't such a good idea after all. He could damage them like he damaged this house… this savagely. Maybe he should detach himself from them to ensure their safety…

"Guys," he said into the silence. "I don't, uh, really think we should be friends anymore…"

"What?" Sirius said indignantly. He strode over to Remus.

Remus looked at his hands, then looked miserably around at the house.

"I can't risk you guys getting hurt, okay? You see what I can do? You see what this house has become? I can't let you guys get hurt. Maybe it's best if I just…leave."

"No way," James said stonily. "We are your friends, meaning we'll stick by you through everything." He pointed to the walls. "You think this scares us?"

Remus swallowed.

"Maybe. Maybe a little," James continued. "But I don't care. We're never going to abandon you."

Remus opened his mouth.

"Don't even think about it," Sirius said sharply. "I know you're thinking about the Animagi thing. Don't. We'll be fine. James and I will transform into something big enough to help you."

"What about me?" Peter squeaked.

Sirius laughed. "Maybe you'll transform into something nice and big too."

Remus offered an amused smile. "How are you so sure that you won't turn out a cat?"

"McGonagall's territory," James smiled.

"We stick together, and we'll never abandon you," Peter said.

"Thanks," Remus said, smiling.

"Anytime."

Remus suddenly looked sad.

"What is it?" Sirius asked.

Remus sighed. "I don't know… I feel like in a way I've betrayed Dumbledore's trust… I swore I wouldn't tell anybody about where I go to transform."

"It's okay," James said gently. "It was rather an accident, I don't think you thought through what you were saying before you said it… if that makes any sense at all."

Remus laughed weakly. "Kind of. I just feel really guilty. After all Dumbledore's done for me, I feel horrible that I've betrayed his trust and led you guys into becoming illegal Animagi. Dumbledore's trust means everything to me."

None of the others could think of any response to this.

"Let's head back up to the castle, shall we? It's getting rather late," Remus said, noticing the awkward silence. He tried to shake off the oncoming feeling of guilt.

Remus then walked slowly out of the Shrieking Shack, humming lightly to himself.

* * *

Still one thing troubled Remus. He wondered if Dumbledore knew of the circulating rumors that were passing about the Shrieking Shack being haunted by particularly violent spirits.

As the four boys made their way back through the tunnel and out of the witch's hump, Remus made up his mind.

"Take the cloak," he said, shoving it hastily at James and Sirius. "You guys will need it to navigate the castle. I need to go see Dumbledore."

The other three stared at him. "What for?"

"Matters," Remus said grimly.

"What if you're caught?" Peter squeaked.

Remus shrugged. "I'll take that chance."

"A little late, don't you think?" James said, smiling.

Remus shrugged. "Better late than never.

"Remus, are you sure you don't need the cloak?"

Remus laughed. "Three of you, one of me. Chances are greater you'll get caught so go already."

James shrugged. Sirius and Peter set off down the corridor with him.

Remus sighed. He turned to go to the headmaster's office, then realized he forgot where it was. Fighting the urge to swear loudly, he racked his brain and tried to forge a map in his head.

He headed to the right and walked on for what seemed like forever. He recognized a couple of checkpoints, and headed in the best direction. Twice Filch passed by, and Remus just avoided detention by ducking into corridors and empty classrooms.

Finally, after running ragged through the many hallways of the castle, he found himself face to face with a stone gargoyle.

Panicking, he realized that he didn't know the password. He looked at the gargoyle pleadingly. "Uh, Mandrakes?"

The gargoyle didn't move.

"Fanged Frisbee."

The statue remained stationary.

"Merlin. No? Merlin's Beard? Silver Chocolate? Fish? How am I supposed to know what the password is?" Remus 's voice rose angrily, and he kicked the gargoyle in frustration.

"Trying to break into my office?" an amused voice said from behind Remus.

Remus stopped trying to ease the pain of his throbbing toe. He turned and looked sheepishly at the smiling face of Dumbledore. "Sorry, Professor, I had to speak to you."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "It's late, but better late than never."

"Sorry," Remus mumbled again.

"It's quite okay," Dumbledore said cheerfully. "Lemon Drops," he then said to the gargoyle. It sprang to life. Dumbledore beckoned to Remus to follow him.

"Have a seat," Dumbledore said genially, beckoning to a squashy chair. Remus nervously sank into it.

"Now, Mr. Lupin, you needed to talk to me?"

"Yes, Professor." Remus took a deep breath. "I was…wondering if you've heard the many rumors about the Shrieking Shack?"

Dumbledore peered at him through his spectacles. "Yes."

Remus swallowed. "I was wondering why you didn't…never told the villagers the truth about the shack."

Dumbledore looked at him searchingly. "You've found out the Shrieking Shack is the safehouse you go to to transform every month, then?"

"Yes," Remus asked, fearing Dumbledore would ask how he found out.

Dumbledore, however, looked at him. "I didn't make the rumor myself, but I've encouraged it."

Remus did a double take at these words. "E-Encourage it, Sir? But the house isn't haunted, or dangerous…"

"You're right," Dumbledore said. "It isn't haunted. But it is dangerous."

"Dangerous?"

"Yes," Dumbledore replied. "Once a month, the house is home to one of the most dangerous creatures alive."

Remus understood. It was himself.

"You see," Dumbledore continued. "The rumors are the absolute safest way to ensure that the villagers never go near the shack, especially on the nights you become a werewolf."

"Oh," mumbled Remus.

They both sat in silence for a while.

Remus's mind teemed with thoughts. Dumbledore encouraged the rumor that there was a particularly violent, harmful spirit in the shack to keep villagers away. He shuddered knowing that he himself was that violent, evil, killing thing that haunted the people of Hogsmeade.

"Thank you," Remus mumbled to Dumbledore. He got up to leave.

"Remus," Dumbledore said as Remus headed out of the office. "Don't think this makes you a violent spirit. Those are just rumors that haven't even touched the surface of Remus Lupin."

Remus paused in his walking, then continued his trek out of the office.

_I'm a monster_, he thought to himself as he slowly dragged his feet down the deserted corridor. _Everyone fears me. Dumbledore is using me to scare people away from me._

_And it's working,_ he thought miserably.

* * *

While Remus was up in the office of Dumbledore, James, Sirius and Peter were silently trying to make their way back to the common room under the invisibility cloak.

As they reached the final stretch before the portrait of the Fat Lady, Severus Snape slipped out from behind a statue. The three boys inside the cloak froze.

Even through the layers of the cloak, Sirius could clearly see the widening smirk on Snape's face. Part of him wanted to run out and throttle Snape, but James kicked Siruis hard in the leg and shot him a warning glare.

"I hear you," Snape said, smiling sinisterly. "I think I should really alert the teachers… students wandering around at night… it's just not healthy."

"I'll give you not healthy," Sirius muttered under his breath, fist raised.

Snape, still smirking, stretched out his hands like a blind man and groped around in the air. Peter let out a gasp of horror that was silenced by a warning look from both Sirius and James.

Apparently, it was too late. Snape immediately began to walk toward the group of huddled boys. Sirius shot Peter an angry look and motioned for them to move to the left. They followed Sirius's lead. Their footsteps, however, were definitely not silent. Snape began to blindly walk towards them, moving even faster, smirk widening.

Panicking, Peter began to shuffle backwards at a great speed, completely disregarding Sirius and James, who were still in the cloak with him.

"What in the world are you doing?" James whispered frantically.

Too late. As if in slow motion, Peter tripped, and as he fell he sent James and Sirius toppling to the ground. The invisibility cloak flipped over their heads, sending three dusty boys into plain view.

"Aha," Snape said quietly, smirk growing so wide his mouth practically swallowed his face.

James and Sirius stood up at once, brushed themselves off, and raised their wands. Peter, however, remained cowering on the ground.

"Ah, it's the famous pair of Potter and Black," Snape sneered, also raising his wand. "Oh, and their pitiable friend."

Sirius tightened his grip on his wand. "Come to stalk us again, Snivellus? Can't get enough of us?"

Snape teetered forward, then stepped back, as if restraining himself. "Have you seen your brother lately, Black?" he asked silkily, eyes staring darkly at James and Sirius. "It seems he's not like you, a lover of muggles and mudbloods…"

This time it was Sirius that teetered forward, but he seemed to lack the self-restraint Snape had. In one fluid motion, he ran, drew back his fist, and punched Snape full in the face, all means of magic forgotten. Sirius just wanted to hurt Snape as much as possible…

Peter let out a horrified gasp. Sirius drew back his fist to punch Snape again, but as he raised his fist a beam of light struck him in the stomach and he flew away from Snape, landing on the stairs with a horrible crash. Snape, blood trickling from his nose, was standing triumphantly with his wand raised.

With what seemed like a war cry, James leapt forward. "_Reducto_!" he yelled. A beam of light shot towards Snape. Snape jumped aside at the last minute.

Snape muttered a curse at James, and James was thrown backwards, unable to see straight.

"_Reducto_!" Sirius bellowed from the stairs, standing up. Once more, Snape dodged it. Smiling sinisterly, he aimed a curse at Sirius. Sirius dodged it too, the beam of light missing him by inches as he ducked. The force of it made Sirius fall on his hands.

Peter wavered and drew out his wand shakily. He hesitated, part of him wanting to help his friends, and the other part too scared to take on Snape.

Growling, Sirius lifted himself up, staggering. Snape was looking at him with those sinisterly laughing eyes. Sirius wanted to curse him and his bloody nose into little bits. He raised his wand. What was that unforgivable curse the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher had been talking about?

As Sirius opened his mouth, a force lifted his wand right out of his hands. He looked over at Snape. His wand seemed to have the same effect. From where James was lying on the ground, Sirius could tell his wand was being lifted away as well. Peter's wand seemed to have levitated as well.

"What the - " Sirius started.

Professor McGonagall suddenly appeared in front of the four boys, looking livid. Sirius closed him mouth and tried not to look too guilty.

"I expected better," McGonagall said sternly, nose flared. She was in a flowery dressing gown, apparently straight out of bed.

James pulled himself upright. He looked down at his shoes.

"Especially from three boys that are in my house," McGonagall continued, looking at Sirius, James and Peter. Peter whimpered softly, still crouched on the ground.

"A month's worth of detention for each of you," McGonagall said sharply.

"What?" Sirius and James exploded.

"I told you, Mr. Black, that if you started hexing anyone again, I shall be forced to give you a month's worth of detentions." She paused, mouth thin. "So here it is."

Snape sneered at them. McGonagall turned to him. "A month's worth of detention for you too, Mr. Snape."

His sneer did not falter; on the contrary, it widened as if to indicate it was worth it.

"Fifty points from each of you," Professor McGonagall added.

"What?" James and Sirius exploded again.

"But that makes 150 from Gryffindor and only 50 from Slytherin," Peter said meekly.

McGonagall's nose flared. "I see three Gryffindors out of bed and one Slytherin. It is plenty fair, Mr. Pettigrew. Now get to bed, or I'll be forced to suspend you."

James, Sirius and Peter watched as McGonagall walked away, muttering to herself.

"… kids, always marauding around, causing trouble, in spite of their brilliant minds…"

"Marauding," James commented as they made their way back to the dormitories. "I like that word."

Sirius shot one last deadly look at the retreating Snape before commenting. "I rather like it too. Let's do something with it, eh?"

"Like what?" Peter asked.

They opened the dormitory doors and sat down. Remus burst in the door, red faced.

"Did you guys really fight Snape?" Remus asked reproachfully.

"Yes," James said resentfully. "I wonder where he learned to duel so well."

"How did you find out?" Peter asked.

"I ran into Snape on my way back and he said that he cursed the living hell out of you three." Remus sat down. "Are you guys okay?"

"Yes," Sirius said impatiently. "How did the meeting with Dumbledore go?"

Remus saddened immediately.

"I found out that he's using my screams and violent bangings as a way to scare people away from the shack," Remus said bitterly.

"Well," James said slowly. "It is a good idea, isn't it?"

Remus glared at James.

James immediately backtracked. "I mean, it's not fair to you, but the villagers can't go near you, so when you transform you can't hurt anyone, right?"

Remus slumped down onto his bed. "I know what he's doing is right, but, maybe I'm selfish. It just widens my realization that I'm a monster."

"You are not," Sirius said firmly. "Don't ever say you are. You'll always be Remus to us."

"We found a new word," James offered, trying to take Remus's mind off of the Shrieking Shack.

Remus looked up, smiling a bit. "Really?"

"Yeah," Peter said, smiling. "Marauding."

Remus thought for a moment. "I like it," he finally said.

"What do you say to being the Marauders?" Sirius said.

"Aye," James laughed.

"Marauders, not pirates, you prat," Sirius laughed.

"Marauders it is," smiled Remus. "It has a nice ring to it."

"I hereby proclaim James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew the marauders of Hogwarts," Sirius said in an official tone.

"Yeah!" they all said loudly.

"To marauding around and causing mayhem!" Remus said.

"To cursing Snivellus to the moon!" Sirius said.

"To becoming illegal Animagi!" Peter said.

"To loving Lily Evans!" James added.

Sirius looked at him in exasperation.

James laughed. "Alright. To staying friends forever, no matter what comes, because our bond is stronger than anything this world can ever face."

They all cheered.

Remus went to bed that night thinking about what Dumbledore had said to him. True, he was using him to ensure safety to others and to scare people away, but that hadn't worked on everyone.

The wolf had scared many away, but James, Sirius and Peter had stayed by him. They were his true friends. The marauders would never abandon him.

With that comforting thought, Remus drifted off to sleep.


	23. Into the Tunnel

A/N: This is the last chapter I'm posting in China, by Tuesday I'll be back in the comfort of my California home.

Thanks so much to Kyra Ryuiko, Nimrodel Telcontar, Alexa Krystal, winterstar, mellonim and ellieo for your words of encouragement. You keep this author happy. Now, onto the story!

* * *

_November, 1972 - January, 1973  
_

* * *

Into the Tunnel

Sirius sat eagerly at the Gryffindor table, breakfast forgotten. He looked searchingly at the ceiling of the Great Hall for the owl that would determine his fate for Christmas.

"Bacon?" James offered, setting an extremely fat piece of bacon in front of Sirius. Sirius waved it away impatiently, eyes still scanning the skies.

"There it is!" he yelled. An extremely large tawny owl was making its way to Sirius, trying to avoid collision with the many other owls that had suddenly flown into the Great Hall.

Sirius had written to his parents, asking for permission to spend Christmas with the Potters. He had awaited the reply for days and days, and was anxious, excited and nervous at the same time. Today was the last day before vacation, and he knew it would come.

As the owl landed, Sirius eagerly ripped the letter off. Remus and Peter offered the owl some carrots and food, while James peered anxiously over Sirius's shoulder as Sirius tore open the letter.

Sirius's eyes scanned it. His features hardened instantly. Before James had finished reading it, he crumpled it in his fist.

"I wasn't done," James said, reaching for the crumpled paper.

"They said no," Sirius snapped.

"What?" Peter asked, he and Remus now joining the conversation. The tawny owl had flown off toward the owlery.

"They said no," Sirius repeated, angry. He then laughed harshly. "I must say, a part of me expected this. I doubted that my family would ever give me permission to set foot in the Potter house ever again after they found out that they refused to service Voldemort."

Peter winced.

Sirius's anger had reached a boiling point. "COME OFF IT, PETER!" Sirius roared. "IT'S A BLOODY NAME!"

The whole Great Hall turned to look at Sirius. "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?" Sirius yelled.

He stood up abruptly. Professor McGonagall glared at him as he walked past but Sirius paid no attention. With many eyes on him, he strode out of the Great Hall.

He hated them. Sirius hated them. His so-called family lived to make him miserable. They had taken what was his only joy out of the castle. Unable to see straight, Sirius walked dizzily up to the common room.

The common room was empty, just as Sirius thought it would be, as everyone was at breakfast. He stood stonily in the middle of it, breathing hard.

Without warning, Sirius let out a loud roar. Like a beast, he stood, destroying everything he saw. He took his wand and blasted everything in sight. He himself punched and kicked everything, achieving quite a couple of bruises and cuts. He ripped the crumpled piece of parchment in his hands to little pieces, fingers tearing into it like a bear claws into prey.

"AAAAGGGHHH!" Sirius yelled loudly, picking up a cushion and slamming it into the fireplace. He wanted to destroy. He needed to destroy.

Letting out a mirthless laugh, he blasted some more. He laughed and laughed, and he didn't want to stop. If he stopped, he would feel all the pain rush in, the pain of having to spend the holidays with people who didn't give a damn about him.

Sirius laughed harder, blasting the common room apart with every curse he knew. Smoke and bits of fluff from the couches and chairs filled the common room, blurring his vision. It made Sirius madder. He wanted to destroy. He needed to destroy. He picked up a lamp with one hand and threw it across the room with all his might. It shattered loudly, sending bits of glass everywhere. With his other hand, he raised his wand to slash more furniture.

Suddenly, he felt a hand wrench his wand out of his fist. Sirius stopped laughing, spun around and saw James standing behind him, along with Peter and Remus.

"You give my wand back, Potter," Sirius said in a low and deadly voice.

James pocketed Sirius's wand. "Stop it, Sirius," he said calmly. "Look, we're sorry you have to spend the holidays with you family, but you can't go around destroying the common room."

"Why not?" Sirius snarled.

"Because it's our common room too," Remus said quietly.

"But don't you feel the need to destroy something?" Sirius said loudly. "When you're angry, do you just bottle it in and forget about it? I can't."

"Destroying won't help," Peter said.

Sirius laughed hollowly. "It helps me."

He made toward the ripped couch to kick it, but Remus held him back.

"Why do you laugh, Sirius? Why do you always laugh at the least amusing things?" James asked.

"I laugh when I want to," Sirius snapped.

"But why?" Remus asked quietly.

Sirius glared at him, then slumped onto the couch, limp. He looked up at his friends, eyes both stormy and full of hurt.

"I don't know," he whispered. "It's my way of dealing with things, I guess."

"Mate, we need to find you a healthier way to deal with your feelings," Remus said, smiling.

Sirius offered an amused smile. "I'm sorry, I suppose I deal with stuff in a non-healthy way. But honestly, James, can't you come and kidnap me or something?"

James laughed. "No, but floo over anytime you'd like."

"As long as my parents don't find out, I think that's a rather good idea," Sirius said slowly. "How convenient is it that I have a fireplace in my room?"

Remus laughed. "Very."

A train whistle sounded from far away.

"Time to go," Peter said.

Sirius looked around at the common room, aghast. "Uh, could you guys help me clean this up before the rest of the Gryffindors arrive?"

Remus laughed. "Sure."

"_Reparo_," the four friends muttered together, flicking their wands as one.

The common room seemed to shake, then glisten. Sirius beamed with satisfaction, then ran upstairs with his friends to get his luggage for the vacation. He decided now was not the time to worry about his "family", as he was with his real family right now.

* * *

"How was Christmas?" James asked as he entered the compartment that they claimed as their own. Christmas was over, and James was happy to be back on the Hogwarts Express.

Remus looked up at him. "No hello?"

James laughed. "How was it?"

"Fine," Remus said.

"How were your transformations?"

"Actually, fine. My family was outside the barred doors talking to me, and since I knew they were there it helped me a lot."

"Good to know," James beamed. "I really want to get this Animagi thing down before the end of the year, you know?"

Remus smiled. "Thanks. By the way, I think we're ready to try transforming."

James gasped in delight. "Perfect!"

"It might not work," warned Remus.

James brushed the comment aside. "We finally get to try transforming after all the note-taking!"

"Really?" Sirius said from the doorway. He and Peter entered the compartment and stowed their trunks.

Peter let out a squeal of excitement.

"It's about time," Sirius added. "If I spend one more day taking notes I might explode. Do we have all the steps?"

Remus nodded. "I checked the parchment before we left for the holidays. We seemed to have covered all the steps. Now let's just see if our research was correct."

"It was," James said confidently. "Soon, we'll be able to accompany you on you monthly journeys, Remus."

Remus laughed. He brushed the twinge of guilt away that always came when they talked about the Animagi transformations. _Not now_, he said firmly to himself. _They're too far into this to back out_.

They spent the rest of the trip playing exploding snap and flipping through James's book of curses.

"This one looks great," Sirius said, pointing at a particularly nasty curse to make your hair grow wider and bigger until it grows to ten feet in circumference.

James laughed. "Definitely Snivellus?"

Sirius nodded, laughing as well.

"How did your winter go?" Peter asked Sirius.

Sirius looked thoughtful for a moment. "Not bad, actually," he finally said. "Narcissa is still hanging around that complete oaf Lucius Malfoy. I haven't heard anything about Andromeda, but rumors are that she's pregnant."

"That's great," Remus said.

"I think so too," Sirius said. "I did manage to steal some floo powder and visit James a couple of times. I visited Remus once, and we, er, what was it? Oh yeah, frolicked in the snow. I would have visited you, Peter, but…your dad…"

"It's okay," Peter said quickly. "My dad would never give permission."

The whole winter Peter's dad didn't even look at him, let alone talk to him. Peter really hated the holidays, and anticipated going back to Hogwarts almost as much as Sirius.

Finally, the announcement over the train boomed that they would soon be in Hogsmeade station.

The horseless carriages once again took them up to the castle. A cheery glow was emanating from the castle, and as soon as they were let in the doors, Sirius immediately sank down into the bench and dug his hands into the nearest chicken leg.

"James!"

James turned around at the welcome back feast and saw Lea.

"How was your summer?" Lea asked. Without waiting for a reply, she plowed on. "The next Quidditch match is next weekend, be ready, okay?"

James laughed. "Okay. You're a lot less flustered than you used to be. Getting used to the job?"

Lea laughed too. "I guess I am, and I love it!"

With one last wave, she headed out.

Sirius looked at James, halfway through a chicken leg. "You know, Lea's cute."

James looked at Sirius, then laughed. "She's all yours, mate, but she's about four years older than you."

Sirius shrugged. "You agree she's cute, right?"

"Sirius, she's my teammate, you go and tell her that, I'm staying out of it." James bit into a piece of pie. "She's been on the team ever since I've been on it, and you just notice this now?"

Sirius shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. It must be hormones or something kicking in."

James snorted into his food. "Well, have fun winning her heart. You're impossible."

"I don't want that," Sirius said, aghast. "I just think she's good-looking."

James rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I'm sticking to my one true love." He looked over at Lily Evans, eyes misty.

Sirius let out a sigh of exasperation. "And you call _me_ impossible."

* * *

Sirius, James, Peter and Remus now spent every available moment in the room of requirement. On one particular day, miraculously, Sirius and James had no detention, Remus had no homework and James had no Quidditch practice. Peter actually understood the Transfiguration assignment. They took those as a good sign, and decided to try transforming for the first time.

"Here?" Sirius asked, standing on the carpeted floor of the Room of Requirement.

"Yeah," Remus said impatiently. "Just do it in the middle of the room." Remus was levitating the piece of parchment right in front of Sirius so Sirius could read it properly.

Sirius took a deep breath. "Okay," he said shakily. "Here goes."

He looked one last time at the directions and closed his eyes. He focused his body, concentrating hard. Then he slowly opened his eyes.

"Anything?" he asked.

James slowly shook his head. Sirius's shoulders slumped in disappointment.

"Don't feel bad," Remus said encouragingly. "I would have been astounded if you transformed into an animal right then."

Sirius smiled weakly. "I just really wanted to transform, you know?"

"Yes, but don't stress yourself over it," Remus said firmly. "We have four years left to go at Hogwarts. You guys can do it, I know you can."

"My turn," James said, bouncing into the middle of the room.

Remus once again levitated the piece of parchment. James took a look at it and closed his eyes like Sirius, concentrating with all his might.

He opened one eye. "Anything?"

Sirius and Peter shook their heads.

James sighed dejectedly, opening his other eye. "Oh well. Peter, have a go."

Peter shook his head. "No way. If you two can't do it, I can't either."

"He's got a point," Sirius said. James kicked him.

"Have a go," Remus said, beckoning to Peter.

Peter walked slowly into the middle of the room. Remus levitated the parchment for the third time.

James watched anxiously as Peter closed his eyes. He wasn't expecting anything, so he certainly wasn't disappointed when Peter opened his eyes and absolutely nothing had happened.

Remus forced a smile. "That's okay. But you know what this means, right?"

Sirius groaned loudly. "More books. I'm dying with happiness."

* * *

Although the next few days were dedicated to research, the Marauders could not help but feel nervous as the upcoming Ravenclaw-Gryffindor match came up. Perry was in a pitiable shape. The easy shots he always missed, although he made a few spectacular saves every now and then.

Ravenclaw had won the first match against Hufflepuff, completely flattening them. Gryffindor, if they even wanted a chance at the house cup this year, needed to beat Ravenclaw in this game.

James persuaded his friends to go and spy on the Ravenclaw team as the practiced on the Quidditch pitch. They took the invisibility cloak, even though the sun was a tad too bright to see anything clearly.

They arrived at the pitch in time to see the Ravenclaw team fly out from the changing room. Hidden under the bleachers, they had a clear view of everyone flying.

"No," James muttered to himself. "Seeker's excellent, beaters good, keeper good, chasers excellent. This is definitely not good for our team."

James muttered on and on about Perry. Remus, Sirius and Peter found themselves drifting to sleep. Peter actually was snoring in a couple of minutes.

Suddenly, Remus heard a laugh coming from a girl that just landed in the Quidditch pitch. Remus's heart caught in his throat as he turned towards her. She had shoulder-length brown hair and blue eyes so bright Remus could see them clearly from where he crouched.

"Oh be quiet," the girl laughed again, playfully punching her friend on the arm.

Her friend laughed as well, then mounted her broom. "Come on, Faye, let's get back to flying. Eva's going to kill us if we don't get going."

"FAYE! LET'S GO!" Remus heard a girl scream from above.

Remus watched as the girl named Faye rolled her blue eyes, and mounted her broom, taking off into the sun.

Remus let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. He heard a light chuckle behind him, and turned to see Sirius grinning knowingly at him.

"You like her, don't you," was all he said.

Remus reddened. "I-I don't even know her."

Sirius laughed. "You will. Fate listens to these things, you know."

"Okay, let's go," James said suddenly. "I've seen enough." Peter woke up with a start and the snoring immediately ceased.

"Already?" Remus said with a trace of disappointment in his voice.

"Why do you want to stay?" James asked, raising an eyebrow. "I never got the impression you guys loved these Quidditch stakeouts."

Remus reddened again. "Never mind," he muttered, as Sirius shot him a winning smile and a knowing look. Remus had more pressing matters on his mind. Another full moon would be awaiting him that night in the Shrieking Shack.

* * *

Sirius, James and Peter waved goodbye to Remus as he set off with McGonagall for his transformations. Remus was now happy that they had found out his secret. For one, they hadn't abandoned him, and are now trying to help him in any way they can. For another, he wasn't forced to make up stupid lies anymore about where he was going every month.

As soon as Remus was out of the common room, Sirius slammed down the book he had been holding.

"Sirius!" James said, shocked.

"What's wrong?" asked Peter cautiously.

"I want to know how Remus gets to the shack every month," Sirius said.

James sighed. "Curiosity again?"

"That, and I think we deserve to know."

"Deserve to know?" James repeated. "I think it's Remus's secret, not ours."

"But look at all we're doing to help him!"

"Doesn't mean we need to extract every little detail," James argued.

Sirius shot him a deadly look. "Fine. Give me the cloak, I'm going to find out for myself."

"You're going to follow him?" Peter squeaked.

Sirius didn't say anything.

"I'm not giving you the cloak," James said.

Sirius glared at James.

"We're going with you."

"We are?" Peter asked.

James looked at Sirius. "We're all going together. I see Sirius is going to be curious until we find out, so sooner or later we'll have to go."

Sirius looked at them, then smiled a little. "Well, what are you waiting for? We'll never catch up with him if we keep dawdling."

The three boys slipped under the cloak and blundered out of the common room. James was pretty sure Remus was too far ahead to catch up by now.

"Maybe we should wait until the next full moon," Peter suggested, looking at the empty corridor.

Sirius started to agree, then looked out the window. "There they are!" he whispered.

They made it over to the window with difficulty. Sirius watched wide-eyed, as Madam Pomfrey took a long stick out. Remus, McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey were at the base of the Whomping Willow. Sirius gasped as Madam Pomfrey froze the thrashing branched with a prod of a knot, and he heard Peter and James gasp beside him.

"It makes sense," Sirius whispered slowly, looking at James and Peter. "Do you remember in our first year when Peter got caught by the willow's branches?"

"That's how he knew hoe to freeze the tree," Peter said in an awed whisper.

"Let's go to the willow," Sirius said, walking away from the window.

"What?" James asked. "All you wanted to know was how he gets into the Shrieking Shack every month, right?"

"Yes," Sirius said impatiently. "But I need to see the passageway with my own eyes."

Peter looked uncertain.

"We'll only go as far as the house, then we'll turn back, whether we see Remus or not," Sirius promised.

Peter reluctantly followed James and Sirius under the cloak.

The sun was setting. The violet-colored dusk overtook the skies, making it beautiful and eerie at the same time. James, Sirius and Peter made their way down to the willow just as McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey climbed out of the hole and pressed the knot on the tree.

The three boys waited until they were out of sight. They then slipped through the still branches and into the hole, and not a minute too soon. As Peter crashed into the tunnel floor, he heard the violent thrashings of the tree branches overhead.

"Hurry," Sirius said, picking up the cloak from the ground. They ran down the tunnel, hoping to see the shack again before the moon overtook their friend.

Reaching the end, they saw that the moon had not risen yet. Breathing a sigh of relief, Sirius turned to smile at his friends.

"See? Wow this is really amazing."

"Yeah," James said, looking back at the tunnel. "It is."

"Aren't you glad I made you come?"

James looked around, awed. "In a manner of speaking..."

"What are you doing here?" Remus's voice came from the left. Sirius turned his head, still smiling, and saw Remus looking at them from a corner of the room, eyes narrowed to a glare. He was standing with a look not unlike the one Sirius had when he was talking about his parents.

Sirius's smiled faltered at the sight of this cold look. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

Remus took a step toward him, his usually calm voice deadly. "You came to see the show, did you?"

Sirius opened his mouth as second time, and failed once again to produce sound.

James, seeing that Sirius was incapable of speech, said, "No, Remus, we - "

Remus was shaking by now. He took another step toward Sirius, but turned toward James. James looked back at Remus, unsure of what to say.

There was a silence.

"We what?" Remus yelled suddenly. His voice exploded like angry fireworks."Why are you here? Are you purposely here to laugh at me, see all the damage I do to myself when I'm in this house?"

James looked alarmed. "No, Remus -"

"THEN WHAT?" Remus screamed, voice echoing throughout the shack. His eyes widened a bit as he shouted. "COME TO HAVE A GOOD LAUGH, TO SEE THE MONSTER I BECOME ONCE A MONTH? HAVE YOU COME TO SEE MY PAIN, OR POSSIBLY ENJOY IT?"

Remus was beyond anger, beyond disbelief, but he wasn't beyond pain.

"No!" Sirius spoke up. "We just - "

"I get it," Remus said, laughing humorlessly. "Free tickets to the circus, right? Watch me transform, so magical, and then watch me destroy this house as entertainment?"

"No!" Sirius said again, voice pleading.

"You don't get it, do you?" Remus interrupted, still shaking. "You guys can't be here, not on nights I transform, unless you want to get yourselves killed! I won't recognize you once I'm a wolf, and if you think you can just stand there and watch me tear myself to bits for the entire night and not get a scratch yourself, you're dead wrong."

"We didn't come here to watch you transform," Peter said meekly.

"We didn't come to laugh at you either," James said quietly.

"Then _why_ are you here?" Remus asked, shouting.

There was a silence. The only thing that could be heard was the rustling of leaves outside.

Sirius lowered his head, then raised it again. "Because I was curious,"he said in a whisper. "I wanted to see the tunnel with my own eyes, or I'd have never believed it was here."

Remus turned and glared at him. "I know curiosity is the most unhealthy way you show you care, Sirius, but to satisfy your curiosity, you're hurting your friends. If you guys had come while I was in wolf form, you would have gotten yourself killed. You would have killed James and Peter, and wounded me internally for the rest of my life."

There was another silence.

Sirius gaped at him, speechless. "I never thought about that. Remus, mate, I'm sor -"

"Get out," Remus said suddenly.

"What?" Sirius asked. "No, Remus, I'm really sorry.."

"The moon is here!" Remus shouted, interrupting Sirius. "Get OUT!"

Sirius was too stunned to move. He looked out the window. Sure enough, the moon was slowly revealing itself, lighting up the sky and slowly lighting up the shack.

"OUT! SIRIUS, GET OUT!" Remus yelled, panicking. He backed away as far as possible.

James heard Peter starting to run behind him. He started to run also, but stopped. He had to make sure Sirius got out too, and Sirius wasn't moving.

"OUT!" Remus roared. He opened his mouth again, but stopped abruptly, horrified.

Sirius watched in horror as a cloud passed, suddenly revealing the eerily glowing moon. A beam of light hit Remus. As if in slow motion, Remus's body went rigid, and he began to shake even more uncontrollably than he was shaking a couple of minutes ago. A piercing howl filled the air.

"Sirius! MOVE!" James shouted, grabbing his friend by the collar and dragging him toward the tunnel. He himself was still recovering from shock, but he needed to get Sirius out of there before he died. Peter was already running as fast as he could towards the Willow.

Sirius stayed transfixed until James, with one almighty wrench, shoved him into the tunnel. Sirius's last glimpse of Remus was a half-transformed man-beast.

Sirius and James ran as fast as they could down the tunnel. They clambered out of the Whomping Willow, panting uncontrollably. Peter was a few feet away from them, red-faced as well, looking extremely relieved at the sight of them. Apparently he had already prodded the knot.

As they stood under the silent tree in the cool crisp night air frozen with fear, they heard from below a single lonely, bone-shattering howl.


	24. Recruits

A/N: WHOOT! Back in California now! School is starting soon and I've been so obsessed with writing that I haven't finished my summer work yet ... oops. Don't expect too many updates, but I promise I'll update when I can! People have been asking me how to pronounce my penname. Sellea is pronounced suh-LAY-ah. Or something like that, I don't know how to do the pronounciation thingies. Pronounce it how you want!

emmys: Does Sirius always call James 'Potter'? I never really realized that... I've made Sirius call people by their last name when he is especially angry or just pissed. So yeah.

One more thing: I'm really tired of making up new characters, so I'm limiting my inventions of new characters, meaning you'll probably be seeing some random characters from before again.

I've been absolutely astounded by the reviews from the last chapter, I thank you guys so much for your response! Thanks to Machiavelli Jr, Taylor, Alexa Krystal, JohnMayer1207, PrincessSkywalkerOrgana, ellieo, Nimrodel Telcontar, marauding-siriusly, emmys, SweetLikeALemon and windstar. You guys make my day, thanks so much!

* * *

_Februrary-June, 1973_

* * *

Recruits

"James, over here!"

James whipped around on his broomstick and threw the Quaffle into the outstretched arms of Eri. She caught it without looking at it as she shot past him. James remembered with a smile the time that he had been impressed and worried if he could do that. He was still impressed, but no longer worried. After many practices, he, Liam and Eri seemed like one person.

The Quaffle soared into the right hoop. The Ravenclaw Keeper cursed loudly.

"And Plausky is showing foul language," Benjy said from the commentator's stand, amid many boos from the Ravenclaws. "But no matter, Gryffindor scores again, making the score ninety to thirty."

It was the absolute longest game of Quidditch James ever played. He could see everyone tiring, and he himself was tiring. Adam of Gryffindor and Eva Hetney of Ravenclaw had been looking for the Snitch everywhere. Twice they caught a glimpse of it, and twice diversions were made, distracting the Seekers.

Remus was looking at the game with more interest than before, eyes fixed upon Faye Taten, the Ravenclaw Chaser he had seen the other day. He had to admit that she was pretty good, though the Gryffindor Chasers were obviously better. Lea had managed to hit one of the Chasers with a well-aimed Bludger so his arm was weak and couldn't throw properly.

"You like her," Sirius said in a singsong voice.

"Who?" Remus asked, trying to sound innocent.

"Faye, your fairy on the Quidditch pitch," Sirius said in another singsong voice.

Remus ignored him and went back to gazing at Faye.

"Tired yet?" Liam yelled as he zoomed past James, clutching the Quaffle.

"Yeah!" James shouted back as the Quaffle came zooming toward him. He threw back his arm with what little strength he had left and sent the ball flying through the left hoop on the Ravenclaw side.

"One hundred to thirty!" Benjy shouted, elated. "Gryffindor up by seventy!"

The game dragged on. Though tired, the Gryffindor Chasers put four more goals through the Ravenclaw hoops. Faye stole the Quaffle and scored for Ravenclaw, putting it through the center hoop. Perry, of course, missed another easy save.

"One hundred and forty to forty," Benjy said, now sounding tired as well. "Wait, I think the Snitch has been spotted!" Suddenly sitting up, he pointed to just behind the Gryffindor hoops.

Everyone on the playing field turned to Adam and Eva. James, Eri and Liam, however, remained focused. They remembered what Connor had taught them, to never lose attention to your position.

They put three more goals through the hoop as the Ravenclaw Keeper watched the Seeker's progress.

"YOU GET BACK TO WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING!" Eva shouted at the Keeper as she streaked past him in pursuit of the Snitch.

James intercepted the Quaffle, flew towards the hoops, threw back his arm and put one more goal through the hoop of Ravenclaw, then couldn't help it. He turned in the direction of the Seekers.

Adam and Eva were head-to-head. Diving towards the ground, Adam had a look of complete concentration, while Eva had a look of complete confidence.

They were almost there. The green grass whistled beneath them and the cheers from the crowds were deafening. James sat in midair until a Bludger hit him in the arm.

"Ow!" he yelled at the smirking Ravenclaw Beater. Trey in turn hit a Bludger directly at the Beater, forcing him to dive sharply to avoid it.

Suddenly, cheers erupted. James saw Eva grinning widely, Snitch clutched firmly in her fist. Adam had descended to the ground, and was now throwing his broomstick down in frustration.

"Ravenclaw wins, one hundred and ninety to one hundred and eighty," a slightly dejected Benjy said.

Cheers exploded from the Ravenclaw side. Eva was beaming, and she was being lifted upon the shoulders of her teammates.

James fought the urge to curse. They had been so close to winning; two more goals would have done it. It was the first loss James experienced since being admitted to the Gryffindor team. He headed back to the changing room, shoulders sagging.

"It's okay," Lea said bracingly once everyone was assembled. "We're in second place right now. It's a good thing we only lost by ten points, or we'll be out of the running. We can't win them all."

She paced around the changing room, muttering. Adam hung his head, apparently in shame. Finally, she faced the rest of her team.

"It's all margin of points now. Slytherin has the next game against Ravenclaw. If they win and then we win against them, we'll be in the championships. If they lose, we have a very small chance of beating Ravenclaw, almost impossible."

'That's so complicated," James moaned, unable to keep up.

Everyone laughed. "Even the brilliant Potter doesn't get it?" Lea asked, smiling a bit. "We're doomed now."

After some words of encouragement, Lea let them go. James was feeling a little better about the loss. After all, they had lost by only ten points, and the Chasers had nearly won the game for the team. Satisfied, he returned to his dormitory to get some well-deserved sleep.

* * *

"I'm asking Lily to Hogsmeade," James said suddenly while the boys were trying to help Peter with his homework. In front of the cheery fire on a particularly cold day, they were trying to help Peter Transfigure rabbits to slippers, something they were supposed to be able to achieve in their second year.

Remus, of course, had forgiven them for following him into the tunnel, though it was the longest fight the friends ever had. Sirius had apologized for a full four days before Remus relented. James and Peter were relieved; they weren't sure whose side they should take. On the one hand, it was completely Sirius's idea to go into the tunnel, but on the other hand, they could have refused. They both apologized to Remus endlessly as well.

"Don't ever do that again," Remus had said sternly after he had forgiven them. "I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt any of you."

To which James, Sirius and Peter had solemnly promised.

"That was random," Sirius laughed now as Peter abandoned the bunnies "borrowed" from the Transfiguration room. He had detention with McGonagall so often he knew her room inside and out by now.

"No, I'm serious," James said. "I want to ask Lily to Hogsmeade next weekend."

"And you really think Lily will say yes?" Peter asked.

"Absolutely," James said confidently.

"Are you serious?" Sirius asked, laughing harder. "She hates you! Well she doesn't hate you, but she's labeled you as an ego-trip showoff bully smartarse on a flying piece of wood. I really don't think she likes you, mate."

"You're right," James said. "She doesn't like me. She loves me."

Sirius and Peter shook their heads in obvious exasperation.

"No one has ever rejected James Potter," James said confidently.

"Lily will be the first if he tries to ask her out," Sirius muttered out of the corner of his mouth to Peter. Peter laughed.

"What was that, Sirius?" James asked, grinning. "Don't think I caught that…"

"Oh I was just telling Peter that Lily Evans absolutely loooves you, the irresistible James…"

James socked him lightly on the arm. "Prat."

"You can't ask her to Hogsmeade this weekend," Remus spoke up suddenly, not looking up from his Ancient Runes book.

"Why not?" James asked, startled. He turned towards Remus with a grin. "Are you under the impression that if I fall in love, I'll go off and do something stupid?"

"Ha ha," Remus said humorlessly. "Actually, I'm saying you can't because Lily has a date for Hogsmeade this weekend."

Sirius, James and Peter gaped at Remus. Remus finally looked up. "What?"

"How did you manage to come by that piece of information?" James asked, amazed.

Remus rolled his eyes. "I'm her friend, you prat, we've been friends since first year. We talk when we see each other in the library. Since you two" - Remus inclined his head at James and Sirius – "never spend any time in the library, this is probably rather surprising."

"You're friends with her?" James asked.

"Yes," Remus said impatiently. "If you're assuming I'm not able to have any other friends than you guys…"

"Of course not," James said hastily. "I was just wondering if she's ever said anything about me."

Remus hesitated. Of course Lily had said stuff about James. None of it, however, was good stuff. In Remus's opinion, they were both being stubborn. James kept hexing and playing jokes on innocent first and second years, to which Lily found less than amusing and completely immature. He also kept showing off, and Lily found that an annoying ploy for attention. Lily was refusing to even go near James, and was refusing to get to know James better. She was a stubborn girl. She had never said she absolutely hated him, but she didn't seem to be willing to give James a chance, and Remus had no idea why. He knew this though; once Lily Evans's mind was set on something, she usually never backs down.

Remus thought Lily didn't really have a surefire reason of not liking James, but he guessed that every little thing James did was against her morals. Lily liked helping, not hexing first years.

"Not really," Remus said to James, looking back at his Ancient Runes book. "I mean she'll say you've done something immature and lost points for the house, but that's about it." Remus hoped James couldn't see he was lying.

"Oh," James said, a little crestfallen. "Well, that's okay. Who is she going with?"

Remus closed his eyes, then opened them, dreading the reaction. "Amos Diggory."

"What?" James exploded. "I don't like him! He's a sixth year!"

"And a Prefect," Peter pointed out. "Y'know, I think Lily goes for boys who actually acknowledges the existence of rules."

Sirius laughed. "I don't think Lily cares about who you want her to go out with, James. And what are you going to do to Diggory? Curse him? He is a sixth year."

"It could be worse," Remus said. "She could be going out with Snivellus."

James kicked the nearest couch.

"Ah well," he finally said. "I'll ask her out some other time then. She loves me, and she won't turn me down. Nobody turns me down," he said confidently

Remus shook his head. He considered telling James what Lily really thought of him, but decided against it. The last thing James needed was to know that Lily wouldn't even go near him, let alone be his girlfriend.

* * *

The end of the year was approaching rapidly, much faster than any of them had expected. To the Marauders' disappointment, their next attempt at transforming produced absolutely no results, although James swore he felt a tingling sensation on his last attempt.

"I really did," he insisted for the umpteenth time in the common room. Sirius snorted into his Honeydukes candy, which he had "borrowed" on their last midnight trip to Hogsmeade.

On the official Hogsmeade trip, the summer was obviously coming. Flowers blossomed everywhere, making the sidewalks colorful and cheerful, not the withering gray they had in the wintertime, and emerald streaks of grass could be seen beside the cobbled streets. James often sighed that they reminded him of Lily's eyes while Sirius restrained himself from strangling his best friend in exasperation.

James had tried hard not to curse at Amos Diggory as he passed the Marauders, hand in hand with Lily.

"Lily's perfectly within her rights to go after any guy she wants," Remus would say serenely to James.

"I know," James would say grumpily, and shoot a hex at Diggory from a safe distance away, while Lily looked around for the culprit, eyes narrowed dangerously.

Slytherin managed to beat Ravenclaw by ten points in the last Quidditch match and Gryffindor flattened Slytherin, which meant Gryffindor could play Ravenclaw for the Cup.

The match was intense. James scored a total of thirteen goals in the entire game, bringing loud cheers from the gold and red supporters. However, as good as the Gryffindor chasers were, the Ravenclaw chasers were also good. Gryffindor was only leading by ninety points when Eva caught the snitch for Ravenclaw.

Lea looked extremely disappointed, but offered words of encouragement to her team even after the loss.

"Well," she said to James after the match. "You, Liam and Eri were brilliant. Next year you guys will be rid of Adam, and since Eva's a seventh year, she's graduating as well. Do well next year, for Trey's sake and my sake."

As the exams drew nearer, James and Sirius slacked off again and refused to study. Though James was highly disappointed with the Quidditch Cup loss, he recovered and went on playing practical jokes and hexing Snivellus. As usual, Peter was hysterical and Remus calmly helped him while doing his own time in the library.

James and Sirius found it impossible to coax Remus out of studying for transformation practice, and gave up after a while.

"Don't come crying to us when me and James can transform and you can't," Sirius said stupidly.

"He's not trying to transform, you prat," James laughed.

"Oh yeah," Sirius said.

Sometimes Peter joined them in the Room of Requirement and sometimes he didn't. They soon found out that without Remus, it was much harder to focus on the task at hand. The hours spent in the Room of Requirement was sometimes dedicated to friendly dueling and plots on the painful hexing of old Snivelly.

"I don't understand why Lily Evans talks to him," James said for the umpteenth time.

Sirius and Peter ignored him.

"I still wonder where he learned to duel so well," James pondered as he, Peter and Sirius left the room for the night.

"Maybe the grease on his hair gives him ideas," Sirius said darkly.

They all looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Though disappointed that they still weren't Animagi, the Marauders put that out of their minds as the final exams drew nearer and nearer. James and Sirius were now helping Peter study as much as possible. Remus could be seen in the library for multiple hours, sometime studying with Lily, sometimes studying alone, sometimes with Peter.

"How do you stand that place?" Sirius would ask, awed. "It's so… stuffy…"

Emmeline and Benjy were both in extremely tense moods as the exams came upon them, and started once more to give out very harsh punishments. Emmeline's usual happy, laughing self was momentarily gone. The first years that made loud noises in the common room were given detentions and glares from everyone fifth year and above.

"Well who can blame them?" Remus said, ascending the stairs to the common room with James. "They're studying for their N.E.W.T.'s, they're obviously very important…I'd be stressed too."

"You are stressed," James pointed out.

Remus had a full moon the day before the start of the exams. He would be able to postpone two of his tests, but had to take the rest as planned. Paling whenever he thought of it, Remus resolved to study harder and get great marks.

The exams finally came. James walked in and out of the Transfiguration classroom, confident and beaming. The only thing troubling him was Remus, who had suffered a full moon last night and was now probably lying in the hospital wing.

Remus came back the next day of the exams, looking a little pale but otherwise determined. Professor Hopkirk had "moved on to better things in the Ministry", as Dumbledore put it at the beginning of the year. The post was taken over by a very old, very boring witch that James thought might be the perfect wife for Professor Binns, though not a ghost. The class fell asleep almost immediately upon entering her classroom, and only Remus had the magical power to stay awake. The exam was very dull, but Remus felt sure he passed.

All in all, with the exception of maybe Peter, the Marauders thought the exams had gone extremely well. Though Peter had passed the first two years, Sirius could not help but worry for his friend; there was always that chance Peter would flunk out of Hogwarts, and they would lose a Marauder.

The results were posted with high anticipation. James, Sirius, Lily and Remus led the class as usual. Peter got low marks as usual. Mary MacDonald, Lily's friend and roommate, was so surprised that she passed Herbology she was in tears of joy when she saw her exam results.

"That went rather well," James said cheerfully as they all sat in their dormitory, a couple of days before the end of the school year. He had gotten over two hundred percent on his Transfiguration exam, and McGonagall actually smiled at him in the hallway as he passed.

"Where are you going for the summer?" Remus asked Sirius.

"House of Black," he replied dully. Sirius hadn't even bothered to write a letter to his parents this time; he was sure they would say no.

Remus didn't press the matter. "I got you a present," he said, smiling. He pressed a soft package into Sirius's hands.

Wearily, Sirius opened it.

"Floo powder?" he laughed, looking at the powdery substance. "I must say, this is more useful than the, what was it, homework planner you got for my birthday."

"You're welcome," Remus said.

"Thanks," Sirius said, still grinning.

"I want to say goodbye to Lily," James said suddenly.

"Do that and say goodbye to your fingers," Peter said, laughing.

"I'm going to go downstairs and say goodbye to her," James said resolutely, standing up. The others all let out a moan of exasperation, but watched him disappear out the door.

James walked into the almost-empty common room and sat down by the fire. He would wait there until Lily came in, even if it took all night.

Suddenly, Emmeline came down the stairs dragging a couple of very heavy-looking suitcases.

"Oy!" James said, jumping up from the chair and rushing to help Emmeline.

"Thanks," she said, smiling. James helped her drag the suitcases down the stairs. Pushing a sweaty strand of hair out of her face, she straightened up.

"I think if you just tried to run up the stairs, I could have gotten my luggage down easier," she laughed. "It turns flat if a boy tries to go up it."

"Really?" James asked, disappointed. His chances of knocking on Lily's dorm door was shot.

Emmeline laughed again. "Yep."

James laughed as well, and then eyed her suitcases, eyebrows raised. "Leaving early?"

Emmeline laughed again, though a bit uncomfortably. "You could say that, yes."

James noticed the strange laugh. "Why?" he asked suspiciously. "Is graduation over?"

"Yes," she replied. "The graduation was yesterday, along with the ball."

"Well why are you leaving? Anything wrong?" James persisted.

"Oh nothing," she said airily.

When James continued to look at her, she sighed.

"Okay, don't repeat a word of this to anybody, though I know you'll never keep that promise. I'm going away on Dumbledore's orders."

James remained silent, waiting for more information.

Emmeline looked at him in exasperation, then sighed again. "Okay, I'm a recruit for Dumbledore."

"Recruit?" James asked loudly.

"Be quiet!" Emmeline said warningly. "I can still give you detention, you know," she said, pointing at her Head Girl badge.

"Sorry," James said hastily. "Recruits?" he asked again in a softer voice.

"Every year it seems, Dumbledore asks a number of students into a secret society. The number apparently varies; some years seem to have many worthy students, some years none. The society is called the Order of the Pheonix."

"I know the Order!" James said excitedly.

Emmeline stared at him.

"Sorry, sorry," he said again. "Who are the other recruits?"

Emmeline fidgeted uncomfortably. "Well, really, I'm not supposed to tell…"

"Come on," James wheedled.

Emmeline sighed. "I am in such big trouble if anyone finds out. Okay, Benjy's one, and a guy from Ravenclaw. I refuse to tell you his name," she added.

James shrugged. "Fair enough." He frowned. "Is that why you're leaving now?"

"I signed the parchment," Emmeline whispered. "He orders us to go now, and we have to go now."

"What does the Order do?" James asked curiously.

"Protect," Emmeline said steadily. "The Order was founded ever since Dumbledore had suspicions about You-Know-Who. Every year he picks some students that are graduating to join the Order. Some refuse, but most accept. It's a secret society that fights against You-Know-Who."

"Where is the headquarters?"

Emmeline looked cross. "I can't give you anymore information James! I wasn't supposed to tell anyone anything!"

"Okay," James said hastily.

"Oh, if anyone finds out," she muttered hysterically. "Well, I have to go, James. I'll see you around, okay? Dumbledore's waiting, and Benjy already left…"

She gave him a hug and practically ran out of the common room for the last time, dragging her suitcases with her.

"Bye," James said, waving after her.

Completely forgetting why he came down to the common room in the first place, James ran up the stairs to the dormitory.

"Guys!" he said, kicking open the door.

"What is it, James?" Sirius said, annoyed. "We were just discussing the finer points of our third year and planning mayhem for the next."

"I have some important information." He settled down next to Remus and told them everything he had just learned from Emmeline.

"Wow," Peter said, his mouth wide open after James finished.

"So the Order exists?" Remus asked.

James nodded.

"I hope we get recruited," Remus said.

"It sounds so exciting!" Peter squealed.

Sirius didn't speak for a while, and looked out the window to where the blue water on the lake was shining. Finally he spoke, still looking out the window.

"I don't think it's about excitement, Peter," he said slowly. "It's about protecting innocent lives. I want to be an Auror, of course, but with my family name muddling my future I will never get to be one."

"Sirius - " James started.

"Don't, James, you know it's true," Sirius interrupted, turning away from the window with a hard, determined look on his face. "But if the Order's the only way I can help people, help protect innocent Muggles, I'll do it, even if I die in the process. I swore to myself a long time ago I was going to be different, different from my stupid brother and insane parents. I swore I would always find the strength to fight for what I believed in."

Sirius's face turned towards the window once more, gazing out to the lake while James, Remus and Peter sat behind him at a loss for words.


	25. Traumas and Triumphs

A/N: Wow, thanks again for the massive reviews, I absolutely LOVE you guys! I have a lot of questions to answer in this author's note, so once again, skip if you wish.

Kyra Ryuiko: Funny you should ask. The first chapter I wrote was not the prologue. Oddly enough, it was the chapter where Lily and James get murdered by Voldemort. I have it saved on my computer right now, and I have to wait a loooong time before I get to post it. I wrote it first because it was the chapter of all chapters, and I honestly cried really hard writing it, so there it is.

Morgan Ryuiko: I haven't read any other Marauder fics. I've read five chapters of one before I started writing this, and decided to stop reading it because I wanted all the ideas to be inspired by me, and I didn't want to accidentally rip off other people's ideas.

ArtDevilGirl: I made Lily only have one close friend, yes, for a couple of reasons. One, I love Marcella. She's a warrior, and actually that's the meaning of her name. Lily has other friends but they're just not as close, kind of like Seamus and Dean in the Hary Potter books. In the other fanfics Lily probably has three friends, and that's rather ironic, seeing the Marauders were a foursome. It's not that Lily's not capable of having more friends, it's more the fact that I wanted her to have one really, really good friend rather than three friends that probably won't get much air time. You'll see a lot more of Marcella later on.

Anyways, I LOVE you guys, honestly I do! I thank you all very so very much, and if I keep babbling the A/N will be longer than the chapter, so here you go! Happy reading!

* * *

_September, 1973_

* * *

Traumas and Triumphs

Lily escaped her house whenever she could. Sometimes she liked to go for a walk to nowhere in particular. Sometimes, when she couldn't, she locked herself up in her room, dreaming of being back at Hogwarts. And when all else failed, she met Snape at the playground.

Every vacation they would reconnect and spend most of their time with each other there. Lily knew that their string of friendship was getting more and more strained. They still tried to spend time together at school, but it became increasingly difficult. Rarely a day passed when Snape couldn't be seen with his Slytherin friends. Whenever he made an attempt to talk to her, he was rude to everyone around her. Marcella bit her tongue most of the time when this occurred, but still often shot him disapproving looks.

She also had a sneaking suspicion that he was avoiding her at times; he had refused to talk to her for 3 weeks after he found out Diggory had asked her to Hogsmeade.

The weather was hot, and Lily and Snape sat under the shade of a tree on the playground. She was laughing, and he was smiling at her, looking at her very intently.

"You know, I never would have thought things would turn out like this," she said, looking at him.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

She smiled. "Being at Hogwarts, learning magic... Sev, it was so surreal when you first told me, I didn't know what to believe. I never thought I could be so happy."

He looked at her. His face was full of longing. "I still with you were in Slytherin," he said quietly.

She laughed, a light tinkling laugh that made his insides feel warm. "Oh Sev, we've been over this many times. I'm happy. Are you happy?"

"Of course!" Snape said. "Much more at school than at Spinner's End, that's for sure."

Lily looked at him searchingly. "Do you remember when we were younger? How big the world seemed! How little I knew about magic. I kept bugging you to tell me more about dementors."

A little smile twisted at Snape's lips. "I do remember," he said. "How could I forget?"

"You were the one that taught me all those things," she said.

Snape flushed. "It was nothing," he said. "I knew everything from my mum."

"What are you going to be, Severus? When you graduate?"

Snape faltered. He didn't know what to say. "I - I'm not sure," he said slowly.

"I want to be an Auror," Lily said, and suddenly her voice was full of confidence, determination.

"An Auror?" Snape said in disbelief. "That's what you want?"

"It sounds like it's something worth doing," Lily said matter-of-factly.

Snape snorted.

"Don't make fun of me," Lily said seriously. "It's your turn Sev, what about you?"

"You wouldn't be interested," he said. His tone was unreadable.

"Of course I am," she said.

Snape looked at her shining face, the intensity of her gaze. He lost his train of thought for a moment. "Well, some of the guys have talked about joining the Dark Lord," he said, very quickly.

She stared at him. "You can't be serious."

"Why not?" he said defensively. "Lily, he's powerful, he's resourceful, he's -"

"Evil!" she cut in. "Sev, he wants to get rid of people like me, you know that, how can you defend what he's doing?"

His retort was lost. He stared at her; she was now looking at the ground.

"I don't want to argue with you, Sev," she sighed. "We don't get to spend enough time together as it is. I just - be careful, okay?"

Lily looked up at him, and her green eyes met his black ones. He held her gaze - he never wanted to turn away from those beautiful eyes.

"Okay," he said.

"Good," she said, smiling.

They sat there, under the shade of the oak tree, until the sun was setting into the hills, and the sky had turned shades of orange, red and purple. Lily suddenly grabbed Snape by the hand and tugged him up.

"Where are we going?" Snape asked.

She laughed. "Come swing with me."

By this time, the playground was almost empty. Lily sat down on a swing and began to swing through the wind, back and forth, her red hair gracefully dispersed into the air.

Snape had sat down on a swing as well, but instead of swinging he greedily watched her fly through the air. She swung, higher and higher, her face full of carefree joy. Suddenly, in one fluid motion, she left the swing, and floated into the air with a laugh. Just like she had done when she was a little kid, she gracefully landed on her feet, her eyes twinkling.

Snape too got off his swing, although much less gracefully. Lily, breathless and face flushed, plopped herself back down under the oak tree.

"I forgot how much fun that was," she murmured as Snape sat back down next to her. "I don't want to go back home."

"Me neither," he said truthfully.

Wordlessly, she placed her head on his shoulder. They stayed there, under the tree of the playground until the sun had set completely over the hills and the stars shone.

* * *

James sat at home, munching on a particularly crunchy brownie in his room. He was flipping through Quidditch magazines and occasionally laughing at a stupid picture. Then he looked up from the magazine and felt incredibly guilty.

He thought about Sirius in his lonely house with no one to comfort him and no one to talk to. Of course, the House of Black and its inhabitants were quite depressing, and it greatly addled Sirius's sense of humor. It made him moody and just horribly angry.

James sighed. He would give anything to help Sirius, but he couldn't. He couldn't kidnap him, and he couldn't floo over in fear of Sirius's parents. The best he could do was offer support through mail, which he did as often as he could.

He rolled over on his bed, magazine still in his hand, thinking hard.

_This is our year, _James thought to himself._ We're going to become Animagi, make Snivellus wish he was never born and I myself am going to prove myself worthy of Lily Evans._

He looked over at the window. His parents had given him a new owl as his welcome home present. James had no idea what to name it, so he just called the handsome tawny owl Tawny.

"James! Dinner!" Mrs. Potter called from downstairs.

James threw down his magazine, rolled off his bed and ran down the stairs to go join his family for dinner. Heda had cooked his favorites; he grinned heartily at the sight of all the warm and inviting food on his plates.

"Are we waiting for Dad?" James asked. Mr. Potter was still at the office.

Mrs. Potter shook her head. "He said he'd be home pretty late today. He said there was an attack somewhere by Death Eaters, and he had to go and sort it out before he got home."

"Oh," James said, and sat down.

Mrs. Potter sat down too and they ate in silence for a while. Heda occasionally brought in a new dish from the kitchen and set it at the table.

"How was school?" Mrs. Potter asked.

"You mean last year?" James said, munching on a chicken leg.

Mrs. Potter nodded.

"You know, good," James said, smiling as he thought of their midnight adventures to Hogsmeade and Quidditch games. "A lot of fun."

"James," Mrs. Potter said seriously. "You need to behave yourself. If I get one more letter saying that you dungbombed the Hogwarts caretaker, Mr. Filch…"

James stifled a laugh with difficulty.

"Mum," he said instead. "Honestly, have my marks been bad?"

"No," Mrs. Potter said grudgingly. "They haven't been bad."

"Haven't been bad?" James asked incredulously.

Mrs. Potter sighed, smiling. "Okay, they've been astounding. But still…"

James laughed. "Mayhem makes me get better grades."

He wasn't sure if it was true, but hey, it had worked so far.

Mrs. Potter raised an eyebrow. "Okay, but just know where to draw the line, James."

"Don't worry," James said airily, smiling. "I'm not going to get expelled."

"I sure hope not," Mrs. Potter said, smiling a little.

They ate in silence for another while.

"How's Sirius?" Mrs. Potter asked suddenly.

James's smile faded a bit. "I'm worried about him."

"Really?" Mrs. Potter asked, concerned. "Did you tell him that he's always welcome at our house?"

"Yeah," James replied. "It's his family. They won't let him hang out with people that refuse service to Voldemort."

Mrs. Potter sighed. "Yes, I know the Blacks, they were on decent terms with us before we refused to service Voldemort. We've met," she added shortly. "In fact some of our extended family members have married into the Black family, but we haven't talked or seen them in ages. I don't agree with their views and was rather worried when you wrote to us you became friends with their son, but I was wrong." She smiled. "Sirius is different, and I think that he could do great things for this world of ours."

James smiled as well. He was sure Sirius would have loved the compliment.

They ate in silence again. Suddenly, the slow opening of a door interrupted the silence. Mr. Potter had come home from work.

"Dad!" James said, abandoning his dinner.

Mr. Potter walked slowly into the dining room light. James let out a gasp.

"Harold!" Mrs. Potter exclaimed, running over to him. "What happened?"

James sat in shock. His father was covered in scratches and blood, but that's not what bothered him most. It was the look of defeated helplessness on his face.

James watched as his father pulled his mother into a tight hug. "Thank goodness you're alright," Mr. Potter said shakily. "I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you and James…"

To James's surprise, Mr. Potter broke down right then and sobbed into his wife's arms. Mrs. Potter widened her eyes, but patted him on the back.

James sat in his seat, frozen. He had never, in his entire life, seen his father cry.

Standing up quietly, he walked over to his sobbing Dad. "What's wrong?" he asked, a feeling of dread creeping up his body.

His father lifted his head up from his hands with sorrowed eyes. "It's Uncle Al…"

James's stomach tightened. Uncle Al was his favorite uncle. They had two kids, a boy and a girl, that James adored. Uncle Al had married a muggle woman, and James liked her very much as well. "What happened?" he asked, the feeling of dread increasing more by the moment.

"He's dead," Mr. Potter managed to choke out before he collapsed on the floor.

Mrs. Potter dragged her husband up. Tears were brimming at her eyes as well, but she had enough strength to drag him onto the couch. James never realized how old his parents looked…

James swayed on the spot, unsure of what to do. Uncle Al was dead.

"How did he die?" James asked quietly, unsure if he wanted to know the answer.

For the first time since he got home, Mr. Potter truly looked at him. "It's not just Uncle Al," he said shakily. "It's his whole family…"

James felt his legs nearly break under him. "Aunt Miranda, Joey a – and Annabel? They're gone as well?"

Mr. Potter nodded his head, and looked back down at his palms again.

"The Death Eaters killed them, James."

James let out an audible gasp.

Mr. Potter looked sorrowfully at him. "My brother...they reckon he put up a fight. I'm sorry you had to find out this way, James..."

James swayed harder on the spot. His uncle, aunt and cousins… gone in one day. He felt tears jabbing at his eyelids.

Mrs. Potter was trying to console her husband while he looked lost and forlorn. James decided to ascend the stairs and leave them alone.

Upstairs in his bedroom, James grabbed three pieces of parchment and began to copy identical letters onto it. Once he was done, he wiped the sweat and mingled tears on his face with a tissue nearby and attached all three of them to Tawny. He watched her fly out the window. Sincerely hoping his friends were having a better summer than he was, James flopped onto his bed and went to sleep, too tired and emotionally drained to change into pajamas.

* * *

**Peter, Remus and Sirius: **

**I hope your summer has been going good. Mine definitely hasn't. Death Eaters killed my Uncle Al and his family. My dad brought us the news today before we could see it on tomorrow's papers. I'm thoroughly betting it was because Uncle Al married a muggle woman. Anyway, our family is the last of the Potters. My grandparents died long ago.**

**I really do hope your summer's been better than mine has.**

**Friend and Fellow Marauder**

**James**

* * *

Peter shook slightly as he held the letter in his hands. James's family was attacked and killed by Death Eaters. His father supported the Death Eaters. His father supported murderers.

Peter looked around, trying to distract himself from the grieving news. His house wasn't entirely welcoming. The stone walls were cold and damp as if rain just fell. It was dark, though it was light outside. The small windows gave enough light to read and that's it.

He slumped onto the couch, limp. Part of him was filled with anger and the other part was full of fear, fear for himself, and fear for his friends.

Mrs. Pettigrew sat down next to him on the dank, cold couch, face full of concern.

"What's wrong, Peter?"

Peter found himself shaking uncontrollably. "Mum, it's James, my friend James…his family was killed by Death Eaters."

His mum looked shocked yet sympathetic. "His parents?"

Peter shook his head. "Uncle, aunt and cousins." With that, Peter buried his head in his hands.

Mrs. Pettigrew put her arm around her son. Just then, Peter's father walked into the room from the kitchen, a bottle of firewhiskey in his hand. He took one look at his wife and son and growled.

Peter finally looked up.

"What are you sulking for?" Mr. Pettigrew growled.

"I'm not sulking," Peter muttered.

"Don't make me laugh," Mr. Pettigrew snarled. "You're always sulking."

"It's just that my friend James's family was killed by Death Eaters. The side you support," he added fiercely.

Mr. Pettigrew looked at him, eyes narrowed.

"Serves them right," he spat. "Running around with the Aurors and Dumbledore…they deserved to die."

Peter's anger rose magnificently. He stood up, face bright red.

"They didn't deserve to die!" he yelled.

Mr. Pettigrew let out a mirthless laugh. Peter smelled firewhiskey.

"They deserved to die, the blood traitors," he snarled, walking closer. "The strongest side wins, Peter. The strongest side always wins. The Dark Lord always wins."

"They weren't blood traitors!" Peter said loudly.

Glaring at him, Mr. Pettigrew bared his yellowed teeth.

"The Potters were all a bunch of damn blood traitors."

'They were not!" Peter yelled.

Mr. Pettigrew laughed again, eyes boring into Peter. "I never would have thought…my son, defying me and running around with filth, scum…" Draining the rest of his firewhiskey, he looked slightly deranged.

Peter stood silently, body heaving up and down.

"The strongest side wins, Peter," Mr. Pettigrew continued, lips curled. "If you want to save your own skin, I'd suggest you start being stupid and start getting smart, or you'll die like your little friend's family."

With that, he slammed the empty glass bottle down on the ground. It shattered on the stone floor, leaving a pile of green that glistened in the specks of sunlight.

Mr. Pettigrew wiped his mouth with his fist and swayed for a moment, then walked back into the kitchen, still laughing. Peter looked at his retreating back, and felt himself go weak once more. He sunk back down on the couch and buried his face in his hands again.

Mrs. Pettigrew hugged him quickly, then jumped up to clean up the mess on the floor, leaving Peter on the couch, miserable yet in thought.

* * *

The Hogwarts Express had never looked so inviting to Lily. Sure, she looked forward to getting on the train more and more every year, but after a whole summer with Petunia, she felt she would explode into tiny bits if she weren't going back to the castle.

Of course Lily wasn't stupid enough to believe Petunia would come and see her off. After all, she'd refused for the past three years, so why should this year be any different? Her mum and dad had come to the station, and Lily expected no more than that.

As she waved goodbye to her parents, Lily felt an odd sense of loss. She really hoped that this summer would be like old times for her and Petunia…and she was disappointed once more.

Lily suddenly felt hands clap over her eyes. She let out a shriek and a laugh.

"Marcella!"

The hands let go of her and she turned around to smile at her best friend. Marcella laughed. "Come on, I'll help you with your trunks, I already found a compartment."

Lily followed her onto the Hogwarts Express and bumped into James Potter accidentally. He turned to look at her.

Lily braced herself for a flirting smile, but it didn't come. James smiled at her weakly and turned away. Puzzled, Lily continued up the train and found Marcella stowing a large trunk.

"Marcella, what's wrong with James Potter?"

Marcella looked at her, surprised. "Are you finally in love with him?"

Lily scowled at her. "Of course not! He just seemed a little…off…"

To her surprise, Marcella sighed sadly. "Sit down, Lils."

Lily sat down obediently, still surprised.

"His family was attacked and killed by Death Eaters, you know, the minions of You-Know-Who."

Lily felt her heart freeze for a moment. She put her hand to her mouth. "Oh my God," she whispered, her green eyes filled with shock.

Marcella nodded. "His uncle, aunt and cousins were all killed."

Lily removed her hand. "Oh my God," she said again. "I didn't know! I don't get the Daily Prophet to my house because Petunia would blow a gasket if she ever saw another owl…this is horrible!" She looked at Marcella accusingly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You don't like James," Marcella said defensively. "Any mention of him and you tell me to not talk about him."

"This…is different," Lily said uncertainly.

Marcella's mouth twitched, as if holding back a smile. "Finally feeling sorry for him?"

Lily sighed. "It's his family…of course I am…" She never thought anything would happen to James Potter, of all people. James Potter, the showoff, the troublemaker. He never let anything penetrate through, and just this one time Lily felt horrible. She had never lost a family member like that.

She vowed to say something nice to him the next time she saw him, and played Wizard's Chess with Marcella for the rest of the train ride. Once, she thought she saw Snape stop outside the compartment and gaze in, but the next second he was gone. She shook her head; maybe it was just her imagination.

They changed into their robes when the P.A. announced the arrival at Hogwarts. The darkening sky was somehow calm, much better than the stormy weather last year. Lily stepped off the train with a widening smile. Stepping onto a horseless carriage with Marcella, she sighed happily as they made their way up to the castle.

The brightness of the castle almost blinded Lily. As soon as she stepped inside, she felt incredible warmth spread to every part of her body.

After sitting down at the Gryffindor table with Marcella at her side, she felt incredibly hungry. The sorting seemed long, longer than usual. As soon as the last student was sorted into Hufflepuff, Lily sighed happily.

"I have some start-of-term announcements," Dumbledore said cheerfully. "Defense Against the Dark Arts has changed positions yet again, this time into the hands of Professor Ivan Storm. We welcome him to our ranks."

Dumbledore gestured to a man beside him, and the man stood up, amid applause. He was tall with short, dark hair. He was probably very handsome in his youth, but his face was so shadowed and dark Lily wondered if it had ever seen light before. His eyes were the darkest brown, almost a midnight black. His nose was crooked but not long. His features were regular, yet there was a certain distinct look about him that Lily didn't like…

Suddenly realizing that Dumbledore had finished speaking and food had appeared, Lily cheered along with her classmates and began eating. Marcella laughed at her. Lily ate so fast that she was almost done before some people even began eating.

"Hungry?" Marcella asked, laughing still. She bit into a salad.

Lily chewed and chewed. "Mmhmm," she said at last, swallowing her food.

Feeling extremely bloated, she looked around the Great Hall. James was laughing with his friends, but it seemed more subdued than usual. With an odd sense of sadness, she sighed quietly.

She never realized the seriousness of the Voldemort situation. He was actually killing people…people that she knew, however distantly. It scared Lily to think about it. She never thought that James would have troubles like this. He just seemed above all trouble, but now Lily knew better, and yet she wished she didn't.

She thought back to all the conversations she had with Snape during their times together this summer and last. He had always defended Voldemort, or tried to change the subject when he saw the look in her eyes... she didn't understand how someone, _anyone_ could support what this evil man was doing, least of all her best friend...

* * *

James stabbed at his food, willing himself not to be angry. He couldn't help it. Voldemort had murdered his family. Of course he was angry, angry enough to track down the demon and kill him. He didn't want to talk about it though, not even with his friends. He always managed to sidetrack the subject before it got too deep.

"Bloody hell," Sirius muttered suddenly.

James turned to look at him.

"What is it?" Remus asked, swallowing his food.

Sirius looked over at the Slytherin table. "Guess who is Head Girl."

James, Peter and Remus turned and looked at the Slytherin table. Sitting there and grinning triumphantly with a large badge attached to her robes was Bellatrix Black.

Peter gasped.

"That's not good," James said, forgetting to be angry for a moment in light of this new and startling information.

"This year is going to be hell," Sirius said. "And it's our fourth year, I really wanted to cause some trouble this year."

"It won't be that bad," Remus said in an effort to cheer Sirius up.

Sirius shook his head. "You wait," he said bitterly. "She'll take every chance to get us expelled."

He slammed his fist loudly into the table, achieving disapproving looks from half of Gryffindor. Looking back at the Slytherin table, he saw Snape and Bellatrix sneering at him. Resisting the urge to pull out his wand and curse them, he returned sullenly to his dinner, no longer hungry.

He remained moody all through the feast. James, Remus and Peter knew better than to disturb him, so they left him alone.

A Prefect told them the password to get into the common room. As they were heading up to get some sleep, James heard a voice behind him. A girl's voice.

"James, wait!"

He turned around, heart pounding, to see Lily and Marcella walking toward him. Sirius, Remus and Peter had also stopped in their tracks, looking quite amazed at this change of events.

Lily stopped in front of James. "Can we talk?" she said quietly, looking at him.

James couldn't keep the surprise off his face.

"Sure," he said, and followed her to a deserted corridor. He heard Sirius laughing at something Marcella said, and walked faster to keep up with her.

"What's up?" he asked once they had stopped and everyone was out of earshot.

Lily took a deep breath. "I-I heard about your family…"

James sucked in a deep breath.

"I want you to know, I'm really sorry…" Lily continued.

James looked at her. Her emerald eyes were filled with tears.

"It's okay," James said, trying to control his voice from shaking. "It wasn't fair, but I guess life isn't fair, is it."

"I guess not," Lily sighed. She offered him a smile. James felt his knees go weak, and it had nothing to do with his family.

"I can't imagine what I'd do," she continued.

"It was just a shock," James said sadly. "I really did love them."

There was an awkward silence as they both looked at each other and looked away.

Lily looked back at James. She had never noticed his eyes. They were a warm, soft hazel...how did she never notice his eyes?

"So," James said, trying to break the silence. Lily jumped a little, then shook her head lightly to clear her mind.

"I heard about you and Amos Diggory," James said, trying to sound airy.

Lily tensed, blinking. "Yeah."

"How's it going?"

She looked back at him. "We broke up," she said steadily.

"Oh." James said slowly. "That's too bad." He grinned. "I always thought he was a loser."

He was expecting Lily to grin too, but she didn't. Instead, her eyes narrowed. "What?"

James looked surprised. "I always thought he was a bit of an idiot, I expected you to have better taste than that, I mean – "

James knew at once that it was the wrong thing to say. Lily's eyebrows ascended to her hairline, then they narrowed back down again, this time dipping even deeper.

"WHAT?" she shrieked.

James's eyes widened.

"DON'T PRETEND LIKE YOU KNOW ME AT ALL, POTTER!"

James was too surprised to speak. He was just grateful his was a deserted corridor. "Evans, I -"

"YOU EXPECTED ME TO HAVE BETTER BOYFRIENDS? WHAT IS _THAT_ SUPPOSED TO MEAN? ARE YOU SAYING I LOVE DATING LOSERS? AND DIGGORY WAS NOT A LOSER OR AN IDIOT! HE DOESN'T LAND HIMSELF IN DOUBLE DETENTION EVERY OTHER DAY!"

"Lily," James started, but was cut off by another shriek of fury.

"For a couple of minutes, Potter, I decided to talk to you and disregard what I thought you were: a vain, egoistic JERK. For a moment I forgot I despised all you represented. I thought maybe you moved past that." Lily glared at him with a look so venomous James took a step backwards. "Clearly I was WRONG."

With that, she stormed off. James ran after her to see her drag Marcella with her up the stairs to the common room.

Remus, Sirius and Peter turned to James, mouths open.

"Mate, what did you _do_?"

James was standing, mouth open. He finally spoke. "She wanted to say she was sorry, you know, for my family."

There was a silence.

"I don't think she could get mad over that," Peter said finally.

"No, he really did do something stupid," Remus said. "Go on, what else did you say to her? I heard some indistinct screaming from here…"

James shrugged. "I just said I thought that Diggory was an idiot and that she should date better guys than that…"

Remus groaned. "James, you prat. Wrong thing to say."

"I kind of figured that," James said sarcastically.

"Way to go," Sirius said, laughing. "If she didn't like you before, now she _really_ doesn't like you."

"I'm still asking her out," James said confidently.

Remus, Peter and Sirius stared at him.

"I know she'll say yes." With that, James started upstairs.

"Mental," Sirius, Peter and Remus muttered, then followed their friend up to the common room.


	26. The New Seeker

A/N: WHOOT! 100 REVIEWS! I love you guys so much!

Well, this is the chapter for Quidditch fans all around. I have to say, these past couple of chapters have been boring, boring, boring. But you know what? I swear I'll make it up to you. Once you get past this, you'll get some Lily and James action, as well as some werewolf action. I appreciate all of you for sticking with me!

rebecca: This issue has been addressed before. Ms. Rowling said that James was a Chaser. However, the books and the movie both imply that James is a Seeker. I don't follow the information of the movies, but seeing as James is playing with the Snitch in the fifth book, it does seem likely that he was a Seeker. So, to all the Seeker fans out there, this is exactly what this chapter is for, and I hope you enjoy it!

Nimrodel Telcontar: This is the Marauders' fourth year. Wow, I've been getting really bad and unclear at this... I promise the years will be clearer in the future!

Taylor: Of course I don't mind that you're starting your own Marauder fanfic! In fact, I think it's a great idea! Everyone has their own view of the story of the Marauders, and it'll be great to read some others. I'm not worried about the stealing of ideas, and I'm so incredibly flattered to be an inspiration. I would love it if you could send me a link to your story, because I would really love to read it.

A gigantic pile of hugs and thanks (in no particular order) to: marauding-siriusly, rebecca, Nimrodel Telcontar, Taylor, Padfootz-luvr, linziiC, redcrushedvelvet, mellonim, ashley, Amanda, have you ever been loved, Alexa Krystal, and Sadie. You guys are truly the brightest stars in the sky. Siriusly.

UPDATE: Something funky's been happening when I post new chapters, sometimes it doesn't show up the first time, so I have to repost it. If you get two alerts in two days, I probably only posted one chapter then had to do it again due to weird stuff. I hope it works now!

* * *

_October, 1973_

* * *

The New Seeker

"James!" Eri yelled, black hair flying behind her as she ran up to him in the common room. It had grown out from the short black hair she had two years ago.

James laughed, helping Peter into the portrait hole He then turned to her. "I'm having a flashback. Lea did this to me last year. Let me guess; you're Quidditch captain, right?"

Eri laughed. "Yep, you're looking at your new captain. Man, you're good. We need a new Seeker and two new beaters. I doubt we'll find a good replacement for Lea and Trey, but we'll try."

James groaned. "I hate tryouts."

"Me too," Eri sighed. "But we have all our Chasers intact, and that's a miracle."

James laughed. "Okay, so when's the tryouts?"

"Next week," she said promptly. "I want to get started on training as soon as possible."

"Slave driver," James said jokingly.

She grinned at him. "More like motivational captain. Alright, see you around, then!"

With a cheery wave, she walked off.

Sirius cocked his head to the side when Eri was gone. "You know, Gryffindor girls are cute."

James shook his head in exasperation, then laughed. "Gryffindor girls or Gryffindor girls on the Quidditch team?"

Sirius looked thoughtful. "Both. I like an athletic girl."

James rolled his eyes. "Hormonal issues?"

Sirius snorted. "You know it."

"Do you even know her name?" James asked.

"He probably doesn't," Remus laughed. Peter laughed as well.

"Yeah I do," Sirius said defensively. "It's Eri."

James laughed. "Do you know her whole name?"

"Isn't it Eri?"

"Erimentha, you prat, Erimentha Tiernan," James said laughingly.

"I knew that," Sirius shot back.

Remus, James and Peter rolled their eyes, then left Sirius to go upstairs and unpack.

* * *

Life settled into the usual turn of things in a couple of days. A couple of nightly escapades and detentions later, James both looked forward to and dreaded the Quidditch tryouts that were looming just ahead..

"Only Eri, Liam and Perry are left," he sighed to Sirius. "Eri's leaving this year and then our wonderful formation of Chasers will be broken."

To which Sirius would just roll his eyes. As much as he wanted to understand Quidditch for the sake of his best friend, he couldn't do it. He went to the matches and yelled like crazy, but often showed little interest in the talk of the Quidditch World Cup.

Professor Ivan Storm spent a good deal of time reviewing what they were supposed to have learned last year. He kept hinting that the former Defense teacher had done little for their education, and that they would probably be reviewing stuff until after Christmas, which bothered Remus immensely. Remus wanted to learn new things, not review the old material. After all, he did get over a hundred percent on his exams last year.

It was the usual. James, Remus, Sirius and Lily excelled in their schoolwork. James and Sirius slacked off and managed top grades, while Remus and Lily spent hours in the library poring over huge volumes that occasionally screamed at them from the pages.

The morning of the tryouts finally came. James was giddy and excited, and headed down to the Quidditch pitch an hour early. Grudgingly, Sirius, Remus and Peter followed him, taking along cakes and various snacks from the kitchen.

"Okay," Eri said to James, Liam and Perry as soon as they all met together. "I think our biggest threat is Ravenclaw. For the past three years, they've had a pretty impressive team. Laura Derwick, who was a Prefect last year and a Seeker three years ago, dropped out of the team last year. She's a seventh year now. She was good, but she's gone. She quit. Eva Hetney, their Seeker last year, graduated last year. I can only hope that they find a horrible replacement Seeker this year."

She took a deep breath. "We need a new Seeker as well, I'm sad to say. We do seem to run through them." She looked at the bunch of hopefuls. There were about ten kids. Some of the kids resembled gorillas and some of them resembled hummingbirds. The difference was so hilarious James would laugh if he didn't love Quidditch.

Eri looked at James, Liam and Perry. "You guys are truly the best Quidditch players I've seen in a long time. Finding replacements for you guys…it might be impossible. I pity the Captain who'll have to do it." She smiled. "Let's find some new teammates."

Since they needed to replace about half the team, James was praying that at least a third of the kids assembled were good enough.

"Okay," Eri said to the hopefuls. "I'm Erimentha Tiernan, Eri for short. I'm Captain and a Chaser. This is Liam Harrelson," she gestured toward Liam. He nodded and smiled. "That's James Potter," she pointed at James. James smiled charmingly and winked, causing two girls in the group to blush furiously. "And that's Perry," Eri finished. Perry smiled uncertainly.

"Let's get started. Divide into two groups of three and one group of four," Eri said in a no nonsense voice. James admired her stability.

The first group of three was horrible. James felt his heart sink as he watched them attempt to fly. It would have been a funny situation if he wasn't on the team and wanted to win the Quidditch Cup.

The second group of three was decent. James felt a little bit of breath come back to him. One boy, Daniel Wyatt, who James remembered as the last boy to be sorted in his year, was particularly good at sharp turns and avoiding Bludgers, but he had a slightly bad eyesight, meaning there was no way he would be able to see the tiny golden Snitch. He was built with a large upper body, making him quite disproportionate with his lower body. The other two were decent, but clearly not good enough to be on the team.

James crossed his fingers as the third group, consisting of four people, trudged up to the pitch and mounted their broomsticks. He was relieved when three out of the four could fly well. He recognized two to be people that had tried out two years ago, when he himself became a Chaser and Perry became Keeper. He hoped that they had improved as much as they had seemed to.

"Okay," Eri shouted. "Here's the people who stay for round two. Daniel Wyatt, Caitlin Kramer, Michael Lach and Amber Kinley. The rest of you, good job, and thank you for trying out."

There were grumbles and cheers as six people left the field. The four that remained grinned at each other nervously. Eri walked towards them, James, Liam and Perry at her heels.

"There's no need to be nervous," Eri smiled. "You guys are all wonderful flyers. We need a Seeker and two Beaters. Let's put you to the Beater test first, because we need two."

Eri handed Caitlin Kramer and Daniel Wyatt a bat each, and released the Bludgers. Daniel mounted his broomstick. His flying was unbeatable. He hit the Bludger over and over again with incredible aim. James smiled knowing that Daniel was definitely one of his future teammates. Caitlin, a pretty girl with blonde hair, managed to whack the Bludger once before it came pelting back at her. She screamed and flew off in the opposite direction, bat forgotten. Eri pinned the Bludger down and Liam pinned another.

Daniel and Caitlin handed the bats off to Michael and Amber. Both were good, but Amber, a girl with huge brown eyes, had a better aim with her arm, and was skilled in sharp turns. Michael, a short kid with a lot of muscle, had more strength, and could whack the Bludger far away.

Once more, Eri and Liam pinned the Bludgers. "Okay," Eri panted. "Now the Seeker tryouts."

She released the Snitch and set the hopefuls off one at a time to catch it. Daniel refused to even try, knowing that his eyes would never be able to see the Snitch. Amber and Caitlin both spent ten minutes in the sky before giving up. Michael tried and never even caught a glimpse of the Snitch, and confessed that he didn't fancy the position of Seeker anyway. None of them wanted the position of Keeper, and Eri was determined to keep the Chasers as is.

"Thanks," Eri said finally, dismissing the group. The four hopefuls walked off the Quidditch field, holding their brooms.

Eri turned to the team. "So, what do you think?"

"I say Daniel," Liam offered.

James nodded.

"I agree," Perry said. "But for what position?"

"Beater," James said. "He was brilliant."

Eri nodded. "Okay. Daniel for Beater is fine with me. We haven't found a good Seeker, and that's really important…"

They all sat in silence for a moment.

"Well, moving on," Eri finally sighed. "Who else?"

"Either Amber or Michael for Beater," Liam suggested.

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing," Eri said. "Amber has a really good arm and she flies great. Michael can whack that Bludger really far. I'm just worried about Seeker."

"Right. If we don't get a good one we're screwed," Liam said.

There was another silence.

"Well," James said slowly. "I used to play Quidditch with my dad. He always told me I had the build of a Seeker, and that I would be good at it…"

"Have you ever _tried_ to catch the Snitch?" Liam asked, eyebrow raised.

James laughed. "No, but I can give it a shot."

Eri shrugged. "What have we got to lose? Go for it, James." She opened the trunk that contained all the balls while James mounted his broomstick.

The Snitch flew off. James closed his eyes for five seconds, giving the Snitch a head start, then took off into the skies in pursuit of the Snitch. He felt the familiar sensation of pure joy float through his body as he pelted through the air. The calm skies were fresh. Breathing deeply, he let out a sigh. Then, he saw a glimmer of gold ahead. Accelerating his Cleansweep, he flew in the direction of the glimmer. Heart pounding excitedly, James stretched out his hands and felt the little golden ball touch his fingers. He closed his hands, and grinning triumphantly, made his way back down to the Quidditch pitch, the Snitch's wings beating hopelessly agains his well-trained fingers.

Eri, Liam and Perry were staring at him as he descended, mouths wide open.

"What?" James asked, smiling, toppling gently onto the soft dirt.

"Wow," Eri said, a grin slowly spreading onto her face. "What was that, three minutes, tops?"

James tried to look modest, and failed.

"If we knew you could do that we'd have made you Seeker last year!" Perry said.

"Yeah, we might have scraped a win," Liam said.

"I guess I don't know my own talent," James said, smiling.

His teammates groaned. James laughed at this.

Liam laughed. "Wow. I guess we've got a new Seeker, then."

Eri beamed, then her smile faltered. "I guess that means we need a new Chaser…this will be really hard…I mean, our formation was pretty darn near perfect..."

James walked over and slung an arm around her. "Oh Eri, I know you'll miss me…" he grinned cheekily.

She laughed and pushed his arm away.

"It's true though," Liam said thoughtfully. "We do need a new Chaser."

"Well," James said as thoughtfully as possible. "We were deciding between Amber and Michael. Amber has a really good arm, and Michael can definitely whack a Bludger. I say we make Amber a Chaser and Michael a Beater."

Perry shrugged. "Sounds good."

Liam nodded. "Amber will have to work really hard if she wants to replace James, though. I'll post the results tonight."

Eri thought for a moment, then smiled. "Well, I guess we're all set, then. We have practice tomorrow! Don't forget. Oh, and don't tell anyone about James being Seeker. It'll be a right surprise for those Slytherins."

Waving, she headed off the field. Perry left and Liam followed them.

James ran up to the bleachers to find his friends. He finally found them huddled in a little cluster. Peter was sleeping. Remus was reading a book. Sirius was hexing various objects like mosquitoes and benches.

"Hey!" Sirius said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster at the sight of James. "How'd the tryouts go? Find a new Seeker?"

Peter stirred and groggily opened his eyes. Remus looked up from his book.

"Yeah," James said proudly. "Me."

Peter gasped in awe, now completely awake. "Really?"

James beamed. "Yep."

"Good job," Remus said, smiling. "You do know that Seekers are considered the most vital member of the team?"

Sirius groaned. "Please, Remus, don't inflate his head anymore. So how come they chose you, mate?"

"They made me catch the Snitch, of course. You didn't see it?" James looked a little disappointed.

"We'll see your performance in the games," Remus said hastily. "It'll be much more exciting." Peter and Sirius nodded.

"Probably," James laughed. "And they said I had the right build for a Seeker too…no actually my dad said that."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yeah what he meant was, all Seekers are scrawny twigs."

"Hey!" James said, though he was laughing. "Prat."

"You know it," Sirius grinned.

"Are we working on Transformations tonight?" Peter asked.

James thought for a moment. "Does anyone have any other plans?"

Remus, Sirius and Peter shook their heads.

"I don't think me and James here have detention until next week," Sirius said.

Remus rolled his eyes.

"Well then," James beamed. "We're set. I can't wait to try it out again. I swear I felt a tingling sensation last time."

Sirius, Remus and Peter groaned.

"I did!" James insisted.

Sirius, Remus and Peter groaned again.

"Did you hear?" Remus said, changing the subject. "The next Hogsmeade weekend is in three weeks."

"Excellent!" James exclaimed, beaming. "I get to ask Lily out! Remus, is she going with anyone?"

Remus considered lying to save James utter disappointment and perhaps humiliation, but decided against it. After all, wasn't honesty the best policy? "No," he finally replied. "Not that I'm aware of."

James beamed again. "Excellent! I'll ask her next week, then."

"It's your funeral," Sirius muttered.

* * *

That night, the boys slipped under the cloak once more. It was a tight squeeze, a bit more uncomfortable than last year, but the cloak still covered all of them, though just barely.

"I love this," Sirius breathed. "I'll never get tired of doing this."

Remus laughed. "If you do, I'll thoroughly be ashamed to call you a Marauder."

"Quiet!" James whispered. "If Snivellus is still following us..."

"We're not scared of Snivelly!" Sirius whispered indignantly.

"James is right," Remus said quietly. "We're not scared of Snivellus, we're scared of Bellatrix."

"I'm not scared of Bellatrix!" Sirius argued.

"She's Head Girl. She could make our lives a living hell."

Sirius shrugged. "She herself is living hell."

James snorted in laughter.

Peter accidentally stepped on Sirius's foot. Peter apologized while Sirius cursed loudly, sending a Prefect nearby running away and screaming. They watched the Prefect amusedly, then burst into silent laughter.

Stumbling and occasionally swearing, they finally made their way to the coveted Room of Requirements. Sirius threw off the cloak and began pacing. After a minute, the door appeared. Sirius threw open the door and stepped inside.

It was exactly how they remembered it. The large parchment was still pinned on the wall, edges fraying from constant pinning and unpining. The books that they had already covered and took notes on littered the floor, and the small bookshelf of books they hadn't covered were untouched in the corner of the room. Couches were in various places, and cushions were splayed throughout the room. James strongly suspected that they were strewn like that because the last time he was here, he and Sirius took turns practicing stunning hexes to use on Snivellus.

"I love this place," Peter breathed.

James laughed. "We found this place by accident, thanks to Snivellus."

Sirius shrugged. "I guess the slimy git's good for something, then."

It was Remus's turn to laugh. "Okay, do you want to try out our set of notes from last year again?"

"Didn't we already try them?" James asked, now folding the cloak and setting it gently down on a squishy couch.

"We made a few minor adjustments before we went home," Remus shrugged. "Let's see if they work."

"Me first," Sirius said eagerly. He ran to the middle of the room.

Remus unpinned the parchment on the wall and levitated it to Sirius's eye height. Sirius read over the directions, then closed his eyes and tried to concentrate. After a minute, he opened his eyes, looking excited.

"Anything?" he asked.

James, Remus and Peter shook their heads.

Sirius looked a little crestfallen. "I swear I felt a tingling sensation, though."

"See?" James exclaimed excitedly, throwing his arm out and almost whacking Peter in the face. "I wasn't lying! Let me have a go."

He pushed Sirius playfully out of the way and stepped in front of the parchment. Remus dutifully levitated the parchment at James's eyes. Seemingly concentrated, James closed his eyes. After a while, he opened them, looking around the room anxiously at his friends. "Well? Anything? I felt a tingling sensation. Again," he added.

Remus shook his head. "Nope, sorry mate." He dropped the parchment back on the ground.

James grabbed his hair in frustration.

Sirius in turn ran his hands through his hair. It did not stick up oddly like James's hair, but fell gracefully back into place.

"My turn," Peter squeaked. He walked up to the parchment. Remus levitated it again with his wand. Peter closed his eyes. The last thing he saw was James peering at him anxiously. After concentrating for a while, he opened his eyes back up.

Sirius shook his head. "Nope, nothing."

Peter's face fell. "And I didn't even feel a tingling sensation."

"Ah, don't worry about it," James said encouragingly. He turned to Remus. "But I don't get it! What did we do wrong? I mean, we followed the directions exactly!" He ran his hands through his hair, making the jet-black hairs stick up in odd angles.

Remus looked deep in thought for a minute. He paced around the room, biting his lip, eyebrows furrowed.

"Well," he finally said. The other Marauders turned to him. "I have good news and bad news."

"Oooh!" Sirius said excitedly. "Do the bad news first! No, wait, do the good news first! No, I want to get the bad news first…"

"Go ahead, Remus," James interrupted, laughing. Peter laughed as well.

Remus shot them all a look and they instantly stopped laughing.

"The good news," he said with as much dignity as possible, "is that we at least have some steps right. James, you and Sirius both felt a tingling sensation. With this, we can assume that we have some of the first steps right. I mean, you guys are actually feeling something. That's got to be a sign that at least some of our steps were successful."

"Yes!" Sirius yelled, punching his fists into the air.

Remus silenced him with another look. "But the bad news is, we have the later steps wrong. We apparently didn't get too far. The first sign of correctness would be hairs on your body, or even your eyebrows getting thicker. We haven't even gotten there yet."

Remus then frowned. "I can only hope that you guys get this transformation thing right. It the steps are wrong, I don't think anything bad will happen. Probably nothing will happen. However, if we try the steps out of sequence, something's sure to go wrong. One step out of order and you guys could get hurt, or even be stuck with half a hairy leg forever." Remus frowned deeper. "Last chance to back out."

Sirius grinned. "We'll take that chance and throw it into the lake."

Remus looked at him. "Are you sure? Because of any of you guys get hurt, I'll never forgive myself..."

"Stop it," James said forcefully. "Remus, for the last time, if we get hurt, it's our own faults. It was our idea, not yours. Will you please stop blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong in your life?"

Remus grinned uncertainly. "Well, okay, if you're sure, absolutely certain..."

"Of course!" Peter exclaimed.

"We want to help. We're not backing out, not now. You need us, Remus, and we'll never abandon you," James said with certainty.

"Well in that case..." Remus smiled.

James groaned, closing his eyes. "Please don't tell me what I think you're going to tell me…"

Remus nodded. "Sorry guys. Let's hit the remaining books." He pointed to the bookshelf in the corner of the room. "It won't be long until we're finished."

Sirius, Peter and James groaned. "It's so much work!"

Remus smiled a little. "Remember, your idea, not mine. At least we're on track."

Sirius looked at James. "Bright idea, James."

James grinned back. "I know, wasn't it? Let's get started."


	27. This Means War

A/N: School is starting really soon for me, so you might not see an update for a while. However, the good news is, I think most of you will really enjoy this chapter. I know it was one of my favorites to write. This is total Lily/James action, plus some of Remus's troubles, and my longest chapter to date. I hope it was worth the wait!

To make another issue clear. I need to get the story moving if I'm going to finish it in 100 chapters, give or take a few, so I'm not going to have pointless chapters that lead you nowhere. Sorry guys, no chapters dedicated to snogging...unless I change my mind or it happens to be Valentine's Day and I'm in the mood :). So yeah, basically, every chapter has a point to it.

emmys: Yes, they're in their fourth year...wow I really should make that clearer in the future...

Thanks so much to Taylor, emmys, PrincessSkywalkerOrgana, MidnightDaydream, Magical Wonders, redcrushedvelvet, and a person who didn't leave a name. You guys rock, truly, unbelievably, rock. This chapter is for you.

* * *

_October, 1973_

* * *

This Means War

"Okay, so our first game is against Slytherin," Eri said to James as he sat at the Gryffindor table in the great hall, chomping down a piece of pie. She peered at him from where she was standing. "James, are you even listening?"

"Ofcurzemlisnin," James replied, mouth full. Bits of food sprayed everywhere.

"That's disgusting," Eri said, laughing. "I didn't comprehend that, sorry…"

James took a big swallow of his food. "Of course I'm listening."

"Have you seen Amber?"

James bit into another piece of food. "Over there," he said, pointing up the Gryffindor table.

"Okay then," she said. "I need to talk to her after. Anyway, the match is this weekend, and I expect you to be ready," she added, sounding oddly stern.

James laughed, swallowing his food. "I'll be ready. Those Slytherins better watch out."

"That's the spirit!" Eri said merrily. "Oh, I see Mason wants to talk to me about something." She rolled her eyes and pointed in the direction of a sturdy-looking Ravenclaw boy with a badge attached to his robes. James recognized Mason Bigs as Head Boy and former Prefect, and smiled with satisfaction knowing that James's own team had beat Mason in the first Quidditch match James had ever played in.

"He probably wants to debate over the Quidditch field," Eri continued, laughing. "He'll never win, and he'll never learn either. Practice, James. Practice and focus." She headed off to Mason, who looked a little peeved.

James smiled to himself and grabbed another slice of pie.

"Is this stuff good or what?" Sirius asked, snatching up some pudding.

James raised his pie-filled hand. "Delicious."

"Perfect for a midnight snack," Sirius said, grinning mischievously.

"I'm sure the house elves will be more than happy to make us some," James said, laughing. "Especially to a Gryffindor victory in the upcoming game."

"Party in the common room, then?"

James grinned. "Presuming we win."

"You will," Remus said, wiping his mouth with a napkin. Peter was still crunching everything down into his stomach.

"You seem confident."

"I've seen you fly, James," Remus shrugged. "How can Gryffindor not win?"

James reached up to ruffle his hair while Sirius groaned.

"Don't inflate his ego more, Remus, we have to live with it."

Remus grinned. "Point taken."

They all stuffed down some more food.

"So, still asking Lily to Hogsmeade?" Peter asked.

Remus and Sirius groaned together.

"Don't remind him, Peter. It'll make it that much harder when he's shot down," Sirius said, stuffing some more pie in his mouth.

James scowled. "Oh shut up, Sirius. She's not going to turn me down."

Remus shook his head. For someone who could spy a tiny golden snitch from far away, James could be so incredibly blind sometimes.

* * *

That afternoon, the Marauders set off for Defense Against the Dark Arts class together. Remus, who usually looked forward to this class, had an odd feeling about Professor Storm. Usually, the Professors liked Remus and his enthusiasm. Professor Storm had a distinct trace of dislike for Remus… and Remus had no idea why. Either way, Remus felt quite uncomfortable in the class he used to love. It really was a pity, because he wanted to like it again... but Storm was making it near impossible.

The doors opened. Remus, James, Sirius and Peter took their usual seats and set down their bookbags. Professor Storm looked down at them from those dark eyes.

"Today, we will be reviewing werewolves," he said shortly after the bell rang.

The class grumbled. They had already learned about werewolves last year. Remus looked uncomfortable. Obviously, this was not his favorite subject. Peter, Sirius and James shot him sympathetic looks.

"I'm not sure the last teacher did it…justice…or else there might be a few changes around the school…" Storm said after the mumbles ceased.

He looked directly at Remus when he said this from his shadowed face. Remus shifted in his seat.

"Now I've told you about my days as an Auror," he continued, now pacing around the room. "Who can tell me the attributes of a werewolf?"

Several people raised their hands. Storm, however, kept on gazing at Remus. "Put your hands down," he snapped at the rest of the class. Looking surprised, the class did as they were told.

"Mr. Lupin, how about you?" he said softly as Remus looked up in surprise. Storm walked closer to where Remus was uncomfortably sitting.

James, Sirius and Peter turned to look at Remus.

Remus gulped and paled. "I-I don't know anything about w-werewolves, sir."

Remus could swear he saw a sneer from Storm's mouth. "Really?" he said in a tone that harbored great disbelief. "It's a pity…why, I thought you knew everything, Mr. Lupin, especially about werewolves."

Remus paled even more in his seat.

"Especially when they're so close…" he whispered so only Remus could hear him. Remus felt his dark eyes sneering at him.

"Why should Remus know more than the rest of us?" James said suddenly. His eyes were narrowed.

Professor Storm turned on him, teeth bared. "What did you say, Potter?"

"Other people had their hands raised," Sirius now said, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. He gestured to the rest of the class, who were looking at James and Sirius as if they were delusional for standing up to a teacher.

"Don't interrupt me again, or it'll be detention," Storm snarled.

Both James and Sirius opened their mouth to say something, perhaps to say that detention would be worth it, but Remus kicked them and lightly shook his head.

_No_, he mouthed. _Don't do it._

Storm noticed nothing. James and Sirius shut their mouths, looking at Storm with a newfound hate. Peter sat in his seat, transfixed.

"Right," Storm said, continuing his pace. "I am an Auror, as I have stated before. Now, you need to know this. This is perhaps the most crucial information you will learn this year. Werewolves are dangerous."

Remus again shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"They are dangerous," Storm repeated. "I have killed them, because if I don't kill them, they will come and kill us. Turn us into one of them. That's their purpose - calculated and deliberate."

James looked ready to kill and opened his mouth, but Remus kicked him again. It would not be a good idea for Storm to know that his friends knew about his condition.

"The worst part is," Storm continued, "that on the night of the full moon, the werewolf arises, poised to kill, poised to harm." Storm once more turned to Remus. "And they all, every single werewolf, have full control of their actions."

Hot anger surged through Remus like never before. Standing up rapidly and knocking his chair over with a loud BANG, he glared at Storm. "They do not," he said angrily. The whole class turned to look at Remus, astounded.

Remus saw a little smile playing at Storm's lips. "They do not what, Mr. Lupin?" he snarled.

"They don't know what they're doing on the night of the full moon!" Remus said loudly. Tears were stabbing at his eyelids, but he forced himself to keep them in. He would not show Storm how much his comment hurt.

The little smile on Storm's mouth grew wider. He walked up to Remus and stared him straight in the eye, his dark eyes glimmering. "And how would you know that?" he said in a voice barely above a whisper.

Remus faltered. Of course he knew the truth, but he couldn't say it in front of the class. Instead, he bit his lip, eyes watering.

Storm sneered at him, then looked away. "I thought so. Next time, bring hard, cold facts." He looked triumphant. "Sit down, Mr. Lupin. Now."

Left with no choice, Remus, chest heaving heavily, picked up his chair and sat back down in his chair loudly.

"Know this, class," Storm said calmly. "Whatever you may have heard, whatever people say, werewolves are dangerous. They want to kill. They have control of their actions. They are dangerous." He paused, sneering. "And they must all be exterminated."

Storm looked at Remus again. "Some think that werewolves should be hired, even... educated. But they shouldn't. Educated werewolves are in position to hurt even more people than a werewolf running in the wild, among other garbage of their kind."

Remus was a bright red. He opened his mouth again, but Storm beat him to it.

"Ten points from Gryffindor and a detention, Mr. Lupin," Storm said, dark eyes dancing triumphantly. "Don't ever speak up without your hand raised again, or I will see to it personally that you are…expelled."

Remus paled some more, willing himself not to cry. He sat in his seat, ashamed and angry at the same time.

"They are monsters," Storm said silkily. "They may live among us, but they're not human. No matter what people think, they are horrible, vile, dangerous monsters. They deserve to die."

Remus felt like stabbing Storm right at the moment, but instead, he found himself hating everything that he, a full-fledged werewolf, represented.

* * *

"Who does that Storm think he is?" James spat angrily as the Marauders headed out of the Defense Against the Dark Arts room, carrying their bookbags. A string of heavily unpleasant words came out of James's mouth. Sirius agreed heartily with everything James said, occasionally adding in another rude word or two.

"Do you think Storm knows?" Peter asked squeakily when there was finally a silence.

"About what?" Remus asked.

"You furry little problem," James said.

"Oh," Remus said heavily. "Yeah, he knows. Dumbledore probably told him. After all, he is a member of the staff."

Sirius swore loudly.

"But why is he so against you?" Peter pressed.

Remus bit his lip uncomfortably.

"Use your brain, Peter," Sirius snarled. "The idiot man probably spends his life catching and killing werewolves, and there's one right there, in his class." He slammed his fist into his hand.

"Oh," Peter said quietly.

"I would have hexed him straight to the next galaxy if Remus hadn't stopped me." Sirius spat, voice filled with spite.

James laughed grimly. "I wish you did."

Remus looked down at his feet. Once again, he felt like crying.

James caught this look. "Remus, come on," he said quietly. "We don't think you're a monster. You're human. Completely human, no matter what that idiot says. We know you're not dangerous. We know you don't have full control of your actions."

"Storm is teaching every one of our classmates that I'm dangerous and should be exterminated," Remus said shakily. "Only you guys know the truth."

Nobody could think of anything to say to that.

Remus looked back up at his friends. Their eyes were filled with sympathy and pity.

"Don't," he whispered.

"Don't what?" Sirius asked.

"I don't need your pity," Remus mumbled.

They looked at him, unable to speak.

"I don't need your pity!" Remus repeated loudly. "That's the last thing I bloody need right now, and it makes me feel worse!"

"Well, then what do you need?" James asked quietly.

There was a silence. Remus looked back down at his feet.

"I need your friendship," Remus choked out. The tears that had been threatening to spill all morning finally bulged through his eyelids.

As he stood there, the stinging tears making their way down his face, he felt three pairs of arms wrap around him.

* * *

Over the next couple of days, Remus felt much better about Storm's classes. Though they were still on the section of werewolves, Remus resolved not to let it bother him.

"If he bothers you again," Sirius snarled, "I'll rip out his intestines."

James raised an eyebrow. "Violent."

Remus made it through the week without any further incidents, and looked forward to the upcoming Quidditch game, James's first Quidditch game as Seeker against Slytherins. No one knew about this except James, his teammates and his friends.

The match came with a highly charged atmosphere. Slytherin, whose team hadn't won the Cup in years and years, resolved to win it this year. Gryffindor was still bitter about their loss last year, and resolved to do better this year. It didn't help that Slytherin and Gryffindor were just rivals at heart, either. The Slytherins attempted to hex Gryffindors in the hallway, while Gryffindors hexed right back. James got a couple of cuts, none too deep, while Sirius took the liberty to curse every Slytherin in sight, earning many detentions with McGonagall.

The day of the match, James was nervous, and couldn't eat breakfast.

"I haven't seen you this nervous since your first game," Sirius said, surprised.

"This is kind of like my first game," James mumbled. "I have a new position."

"I see your point," Sirius said.

"You'll do great," Peter said encouragingly.

"Thanks," James mumbled, still refusing to eat.

Remus forced a piece of toast in front of James. "Eat," he said firmly. "It'll make you fly better."

James grudgingly took the toast and crammed it down his throat.

"Okay," Eri said suddenly from behind James. The rest of the team was already assembled behind her. "Let's go, James."

James grabbed his broomstick, swallowed the last of his toast, and headed out of the Great Hall, amid many cheers from the Gryffindor table and boos from the Slytherins. Once changed and assembled in the locker room, the team faced Eri. James was amazed at how levelheaded and calm she was at a time like this. It was certainly a change from Lea last year.

"We can do this," Eri said firmly. "This is a wonderful team. Even with all the lineup changes this year, we'll do great, because I believe in us." She smiled. "Let's go out there and show them what true Gryffindors can do."

The team cheered, and flew out to the Quidditch pitch. Benjy was no longer commentating. Instead, the job was taken over by Davey Gudgeon, a Gryffindor fifth year.

"And for team Gryffindor!" Davey said excitedly. "Chasers Tiernan, Harrelson and newcomer Amber Kinley. Two new Beaters, Michael Lach and Daniel Wyatt. Keeper, Tyson. And a surprising new Seeker, James Potter."

There were murmurs and shouts as James's name was called. The butterflies in his stomach grew and grew. Glancing around the stands, he saw his face plastered on a huge poster. It was flashing rainbow colors.

James fought back a laugh, all nervousness gone. Madam Frish was down below, reciting the rules. Finally, she let the Snitch fly out of sight and threw the Quaffle into the air.

"Tiernan, Captain of the Gryffindors, takes possession of the Quaffle! She passes to Kinley, who passes to Harrelson, who passes back to Tiernan…come on Tiernan…YES! SHE SCORES! TEN-ZERO to Gryffindor!"

James beamed up in the air. He saw the Slytherin Keeper gnash his teeth in frustration.

"That's right, Slytherin," James said to himself. "Take that."

"And Kinley takes posession of the Quaffle! She passes to Harrelson, who passes to - OH! Pass intercepted by Slytherin Chaser Trome! Trome attempts to pass - OH! Bludger right in the tail of the broom, great hitting by Lach! Trome fumbles, Tiernan picks up the Quaffle and she SCORES! TWENTY-ZERO to Gryffindor!" Davey did a little dance around the commentator's podium. McGonagall looked either on the verge of telling him off or on the verge of rare laughter.

Gryffindor played as perfectly as ever. They scored plenty of times. Perry was still weak at easy saves, but it didn't matter. Gryffindor had soon taken a sizable lead.

James often took his eyes off of searching to observe the game. Amber worked well with Eri and Liam, though she wasn't as great in coordination. However, she was pretty good. A Bludger suddenly streaked past James, missing his head by inches. Angry, he turned to the Slytherin Beater…and saw the Snitch a couple of feet below him, close to the ground.

Veins pounding with excitement, he streaked through the air towards the Beater. Thinking James was rushing him, the Beater yelped and flew quickly out of the way. Wind speeding in his ear, James stretched out his hand, heart pounding loudly…he was so close…almost there…another foot and victory would be his…

BAM. A Bludger suddenly hit him in the tail of the broom. He spun dangerously in the air, spiraling downwards. Through his dazed eyes, he could just make out the Snitch as he spun dizzily through the air. He was diving downwards, all control lost… Reaching out his hands in one last effort, he made a wild grab with his hands, felt the Snitch close in his right hand, and then the next second he felt unbelievable pain as his world went black.

"GRYFFINDOR WINS!" James heard someone yell loudly. He sat up with a start and realized he was still in the Quidditch pitch. The crowd was dispersing, but he saw Sirius, Peter and Remus standing over him as he lay on the ground.

"Thank God!" Eri said hysterically, giving James a tight hug. Once she had released him, James looked into the beaming faces of his teammates.

"So we won?" James grinned happily.

"Yep," Amber said, smiling wide. "Two hundred and forty to fifty!"

"I'm glad you're okay, mate," Sirius smiled. "You just crashed to the ground, but everyone saw you catch the Snitch in midair. Even McGonagall was cheering."

"Excellent!" James exclaimed, lying back down. He looked around. "Where's Liam?"

"He went to get Madam Pomfrey," Remus said.

"What?" James said loudly. He sat back up. He was beginning to feel an urge for making an aerobics tape. "I don't need to go to the hospital!"

"Yes you do!" a new voice said. James looked to the right to see Madam Pomfrey hurrying toward him, Liam behind her. She stopped and stooped down to look at him. "Oh, you poor dear…so fragile…"

"I am not!" James said hotly.

She paid no attention to his words. "A big bump on your forehead…tsk tsk tsk…" She shook her head. "You poor dear, you obviously need serious medical attention…perhaps you should spend the evening in the hospital wing…"

"I'm fine," James said loudly and firmly.

Madam Pomfrey looked a little surprised, but backed away. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," James said with certainty.

She glanced at the bump on his forehead as if the whole thing was its fault. "Okay, dear, if you insist," she said at last. She walked away shaking her head, grumbling about Quidditch matches.

James felt himself smiling again, filled with extreme happiness.

"Party in the common room!" Liam yelled. Everyone cheered, helped James up, and headed back to the common room where the rest of the house was waiting to congratulate them.

* * *

It was by far the best post-Quidditch party James had ever attended. Almost everyone came up to congratulate James on his wonderful catch. Girls kept coming up to flirt and hint that they would love to go to Hogsmeade with him. All that did was that it reminded James that he had to ask Lily out, and soon.

Peter and Remus went to the kitchens to get food, while Sirius single-handedly went through the secret passage, into Hogsmeade and brought back various candies and butterbeer. James wanted to go with them, but Remus, Peter and Sirius insisted he stay in the common room, as he should be celebrating with the rest of the Quidditch team. James obliged, and once his friends came back, spent the afternoon partying and yelling.

It was as if Gryffindor had already won the Cup. James knew that they had a long way to go, but his first game seriously improved Gryffindor's chances, and also boosted his self-confidence and ego. He ate and partied with the rest of his house, all troubles melting away, feeling on top of the world.

Night came slowly, and the party was still going on strong. James stuffed more chocolate into his mouth, then went to sit on the couch where Remus was sitting, looking amused at the fellow Gryffindor.

Remus laughed as James plopped down and sighed. "Tired?"

James grinned back. "Never."

They looked over at Sirius, who was surrounded by a huge group of girls, all twirling their hair and flirting shamelessly. Sirius was laughing and drinking butterbeer, occasionally winking or grinning flirtatiously.

"I think Sirius is having fun," Remus said, smiling.

James laughed. "I bet he is."

Just then, James saw a blur of red speed past him. He turned to see Lily Evans walk up to a group of girls, candy clutched in hand and laughing brightly. Her green eyes sparkled as she talked. James stood up. It was now or never.

"Where are you going?" Remus asked.

"I'm going to ask Lily out," James said, walking towards her.

Peter took James's place on the couch and began to talk to Remus as James approached Lily.

"Hi, James!" Marcella said, smiling and waving from the group of girls that were now eyeing James and smiling at him.

Lily turned in alarm to see James Potter standing there, grinning. She moved away a bit to the left, trying to shield her face with one of her friends.

"Hello, Marcella," James said, smiling. He turned to Lily. "Can I talk to you? Please?"

Lily stood, unable to believe her ears. She looked at her friends. Marcella was beaming and mouthing 'Go'. Some of the other girls looked surprised, but most looked incredibly jealous.

Marcella gave Lily a light push. James beamed and led Lily to a corner of the common room. The music was pounding in their ears, and it made Lily a bit dizzy. She stuffed the last of her handy into her mouth and swallowed.

James stopped and turned to look at her. She stood there, eyes slightly narrowed as James grinned. Lily began to tap her foot, but stopped. She didn't want to be rude, even if it was James Potter.

"So," James said, smiling.

Lily forced herself not to roll her eyes. Instead, she raised an eyebrow and waited, forcing herself to look at him.

James took a deep breath. "So," he said again. "The next Hogsmeade weekend is coming up."

Lily just stared at him.

"I like you, and you probably like me, so, you know, we should go together." He offered her his most charming smile. "Right?"

Lily stood on the spot frozen, unable to believe her ears. After he had insulted her past boyfriends, after every little showoff thing he's done in class, after every innocent person he's hexed, he had the nerve…the _nerve,_ to ask her out? And he didn't even ask her! He rudely assumed that she liked him, and that they should just _go together_!

"How dare you," she said, eyes blazing madly, like green flames.

James was still grinning at her, apprently oblivious to her anger.

"NO!" Lily shrieked. The whole common room turned to look at her. The music had stopped. The only sound was Lily's shriek echoing throughout the room.

James's smile faltered slightly as he opened his mouth, but Lily beat him to it.

"HOW _DARE_ YOU, JAMES POTTER!" Lily continued to shriek, face red hot with anger. "HOW _DARE_ YOU ASK ME OUT? I WOULDN'T GO OUT WITH YOU IF IT WAS A CHOICE BETWEEN YOU AND A GIANT SLUG! I WOULDN'T GO OUT WITH YOU IF YOU WERE THE LAST MAN ON EARTH! I WOULDN'T GO OUT WITH YOU IF YOU GAVE ME ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD! YOU HAVE THE _NERVE_ TO _ASK_, NO, _ASSUME_ THAT WE'RE JUST _GOING TOGETHER_?"

She stood there, body heaving up and down, the eyes of every single Gryffindor in the common room upon her.

"Will you think about it?" James said, still a smile playing on his face as if nothing that Lily said had entered his mind.

"THINK ABOUT IT?" Lily screeched, beside herself. "OKAY, I'LL THINK ABOUT IT..._NO_!"

"But Evans," James started.

"YOU SAID THAT I SHOULD HAVE BETTER TASTE IN GUYS?" she shrieked louder, cutting him off. "I HOPE FOR YOUR SANITY'S SAKE THAT YOU DIDN'T MEAN THAT A BETTER COICE WAS YOURSELF, YOU VAIN, SELF-CENTERED, EGOISTICAL, PIG-HEADED PAIN IN THE ARSE! YOU - YOU - "

Lily was so angry she couldn't even get the words out of her mouth. Her face was burning, her eyes were bulging. As if in slow motion, Lily drew back her right hand, whole body flaming with hate. The next second, before she knew what she was doing, she brought her hand up with all her strength and with a resounding SMACK, it made its way across James's face.

The whole common room gasped as one, then there was pure silence. Even the trees outside seemed to have stopped swaying. James stood there, paralyzed, looking a little dazed. He seemed to lose his balance for a fraction of a second, then regained it. Breathing heavily, Lily saw with satisfaction that there was a red palm mark now slowly spreading across his face in addition to the large bump on his forehead.

Lily began to walk away, still fuming. As she stormed back towards her astonished friends, she felt a hand grip tightly on her arm. She turned sharply around. James was now staring at her, disbelief in his hazel eyes.

"Let go of my arm, Potter," she said dangerously, trying to break his grip. No luck. He was like a grindylow.

"You turned me down," he said, disbelief etched across his face.

"For once, you actually listened to something I said," she snarled. "Now let me go."

They stared at each other with matching vindictive looks on their faces. There was silence all across the Gryffindor common room as people watched them with bated breaths. The silence seemed to stretch on forever. Lily slapped his hand, trying to free her arm, but he just gripped her arm tighter.

"No one _ever_ turns me down," James said finally, now a hint of anger edged in his voice.

Lily glared at him. "It's a bit too late for that. I guess I'm the first, then." She tried yet again to wrench her arm away, but James held on tighter. Her eyes were beginning to water from the pain.

"You know Evans, I thought I liked you, but I was wrong."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh no, I think I'll die because my heart is broken," she said sarcastically.

"So you're not going with me to Hogsmeade?"

Lily drew out her wand with her free hand, exasperated and angry. "I thought we finally got that through your thick skull? Let go of my arm. Now." She pointed her wand at his astonished face.

James slowly released his grip on her arm, eyes blazing like hers, no longer smiling. "No one ever turns down James Potter," he said finally, voice steely. "You know, Lily Evans, this means war." His eyes were narrowed.

Lily just smiled at him and pocketed her wand steadily as she turned away, back towards her friends. "Well then, Potter, hit me with everything you've got." She paused, feeling the whole room's eyes on her, and smiled even wider over her shoulder. "And I'll show you what real magic can do."


	28. Amortentia

A/N: This chapter...LOL! I said in my last A/N that I couldn't do any pointless chapters... well, I'll eat my own words. This is a very innocent, short little chapter, right before the heavy stuff. It's not pointless; it just isn't needed either. It's just here for a bit of comedic relief, and althought it does its job of moving the story along, it's not necessary. Halfway through this chapter I wanted to just delete it, but then I thought: oh what the heck. I'll post it anyway. I know some of you really look forward to a prank, so here it is. Enjoy, and I know I had fun writing it :)

Sorry for the lack of updates...I'm taking three AP classes and an honors class...I just had two tests today, and it's only three days into the school year. Yeah, I've been busy! But I promise, promise promise I'll write. Plus, I've been editing my earlier chapters. Now they should be a bit better. I had to go back and edit just about the whole first year of the Marauders. Plus, I added dates. I couldn't be too specific, because some chapters talk about events that was in a month, and some chapters just one day. So I don't have a specific date, but I'll have the month and year.

redcrushedvelvet - Ah. :) You bring a point that I'm willing to discuss. Lily Evans, bless her, is an incredibly stubborn girl. She's a really wonderful person at heart, and takes pride and joy in helping people. James, poor James, always has the fortune to say just the wrong stuff to her, especially that bit about her past boyfriends. He was speaking truthfully, yet tactlessly. Lily, at least right now, simply doesn't understand why James pranks, why James fools around. She merely thinks that it's his human nature, so she, obviously, wants nothing to do with him. James, however, has his reasons. Part of it is because he wants to impress her. Another part is that he just really liked the power, not in a Voldemort kind of way, but he liked popularity. He liked people looking up to him. He likes being important. But as you all know, they change :) And as for that slap...it was either that or a hex...I myself wanted to leave it out, but in the end decided to keep it.

So. Deep breath. Thanks to all the reviewers! Shout out to Machiavelli Jr, PrincessSkywalkerOrgana, redcrushedvelvet, -KattyKoo-, SweetLikeALemon, and Nimrodel Telcontar! You keep me happy :)

* * *

_October, 1973_

* * *

Amortentia

"Oh, that James Potter is going to _pay_…" Lily snarled as she stormed out of the common room, Marcella running behind her, trying to catch up. She almost tripped trying to get out of the portrait hole.

Lily finally stopped in a deserted corridor, face red, green eyes glimmering maliciously. Her hair resembled fire. Marcella skidded to a stop, panting and clutching her sides.

"Lily," Marcella said once she caught her breath. "Be reasonable."

"I am being perfectly reasonable," Lily snapped. "How _dare_ he? He thinks he's king of the world, that Potter. I bet no one has ever refused him anything in his entire life, and he had the _nerve_ to ask me out on a date? And he didn't even ask! He just thought I would be saying: 'Oh, of course I'd love to go out with you, James, I'll just drop everything and follow you around like a puppy dog'. Because I'm just pathetic like that and have nothing better to do with my time."

"I just think he really likes you," Marcella said cautiously.

Lily glared at her friend so maliciously that Marcella took a step back. "Well he's got a funny way of showing it, and he practically threatened me!"

Marcella sighed in agreement. "Well, of course, that wasn't very nice, but maybe you shouldn't have yelled at him…?"

"He deserved it," Lily said, eyes narrowed. "He deserved every single word, because every single word of it was true. I would have cursed him right then and there, but I really, really want to be a Prefect…"

Marcella's mouth twitched.

"Besides, he thinks he's above everyone!" Lily continued, rage building. "'No one ever refuses James Potter'… please… he's probably so used to getting what he wants."

Marcella shrugged. "Well, you know, he is an only child."

"He is so obnoxious," Lily said, apparently oblivious to the fact that Marcella had just talked.

"Well," Marcella said hesitantly, not wanting to see the full of Lily's anger again. "You don't really know him."

Lily pursed her lips, eyes narrowed. "I know enough to thoroughly hate him by now."

Marcella's mouth twitched again.

"And if he tries anything, I mean _anything_ on me, he'll seriously wish he was never born."

Marcella couldn't help but laugh at that. "Lily, James and his friends, you know, the so-called Marauders, are complete experts at pranks and such. They are jokesters. They live for breaking every rule in existence. You've never tried a prank because of your unfailing obedience for the school rules."

Lily put her hands on her hips stubbornly. "If it comes to them trying to prank me, I will have no problem hanging the rules and pranking them right back. Revenge is sweet."

Marcella grinned appreciatively at this.

Lily turned and looked anxiously at her friend as if noticing her for the first time. "Marci, you're my friend, you'll help me, won't you?" she asked tentatively.

"With what?"

"Making James Potter pay."

Marcella smiled comfortingly at Lily's anxious face. "Of course I will. I'm with you, Lily, one hundred percent."

Lily looked relieved. "Thanks."

The two girls hugged each other. Lily was no longer scowling, but there was a look of contentment on her face.

"Oh, nice slap by the way," Marcella grinned as they headed down to corridor and back to the dorms to get some sleep. "The look on James's face was priceless."

Lily laughed, surprised at how good it felt. "Thanks. I knew a slap like that would come in handy someday."

* * *

"She turned me down!" James said in disbelief for what seemed like the hundredth time that night while pacing around the room. "I can't believe it, she actually turned me down!"

Sirius, Remus and Peter were sitting on their beds in their dorm room, trying to patiently listen while James said the same thing over and over again.

"She turned me down!"

Sirius couldn't take it anymore. "We know! We were there! Heck the whole castle heard it!" he snapped.

James wheeled around in surprise. "But she turned me down!" he moaned. "The love of my life turned me down!"

Sirius, Remus and Peter tried to keep the laughs off their faces.

James paced around the dorm some more. He gingerly reached up to touch the spot where Lily had smacked him. It didn't hurt much, but the pain in his heart definitely made up for it.

"Well, if you wanted any chance of winning her heart or even a date to Hogsmeade, you shouldn't have threatened her at the end of your little chat," Remus said evenly.

"It's true," Peter piped up.

James grabbed his hair in frustration. "But how in the world did she just turn me down? No one turns me down!"

Remus rolled his eyes. He knew exactly why James was acting like this. For the first time, James Potter did not get what he wanted. His ego was too big to suffer a disappointing and embarrassing scene like this. He had been so sure, so sure that Lily would accept his invitation that a blow like this completely destroyed all the lovely infatuation he ever had for Lily. Which, of course, was stupid, but hey, it was James.

"SHE JUST TURNED ME DOWN!" James said loudly, grabbing even more wildly at his hair.

"WE GET IT!" Sirius said even louder, standing up abruptly and grabbing James by the shoulders. James looked surprised, but stopped yelling.

"What Sirius is attempting to say in his own caring, loving way, James, is that repeating yourself is going to get you nowhere," Remus interjected as calmly as possible.

Sirius released his grip on James's shoulder. "Look, mate," he snapped. "We know you're really disappointed and all that, but you've really got to move on. You can't spend your life pining after a girl who won't ever love you back."

James winced.

Sirius sighed, regretting his choice of words. "Okay, that was harsh. What I'm trying to say in my own caring, loving way, James, is that we're, what, fourteen? If you think that you and Lily are going to fall in love, get married and have little baby Seeker Potters, you need to wait a couple more years. When you're a Seventh Year and she still wants to hex you to Mars, then we'll tell you to give it up. But for right now, you need to move on."

Remus, Peter and James stared at Sirius with astonishment.

"What?" Sirius shrugged.

"You're just an old softy at heart," Remus said, grinning. James let a small smile escape onto his face as well.

Sirius made a face, then laughed. "Oh, my family would love me right now."

"James, Sirius is right though," Remus said, turning to James. "You do need to move on."

Peter nodded. "There's plenty of girls who'd be willing to go out with you."

James grinned, the old glint back in his eyes. "You're right, there is."

Sirius laughed. "Well James, the female population of Hogwarts loves you. Well, some of the female population anyway."

James pretended to look hurt. "So who's the competition?"

Sirius grinned cheekily. "Me."

Remus and Peter groaned. James laughed.

"So I guess we're all going stag for the next Hogsmeade trip," Peter said.

Remus shrugged. "I am."

James and Sirius looked at each other.

"I guess," Sirius said finally. "I mean, I could probably get a date in the next ten seconds or something…but I'll stick with you guys."

"Ten seconds?" James laughed. "I can get one in five…"

Remus rolled his eyes, smiling. The old James was definitely back.

* * *

"We've been neglecting our Halloween pranks," Sirius said suddenly, slamming his fist onto the table. It was breakfast time, and they were sitting in the Great Hall at their usual spots, cramming jam and toast into their mouths.

"I concur," James said.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Concur?"

"Whatever," Sirius said impatiently. "Let James be medieval or something. The point is, I feel like I'm going to explode if we don't do a Halloween prank this year."

Peter shrugged. "It's true. We haven't done one in a while."

"Wonderful!" Sirius said, grinning. "Any ideas?"

They sat at the table, munching their food, deep in thought. Slowly, a smile crept onto James's face. Sirius saw it and knew this telltale sign. "Got an idea, James?"

James nodded, smile widening. "How about this year, instead of pranking a whole bunch of people, we prank one person, and we make it really good?"

Peter nodded, now also smiling.

"That's good," Sirius said. "Who are we doing? Snivellus? Slimy Slytherins? Filch?"

James shook his head. "I'm thinking…Evans."

The other Marauders looked at him in shock.

Sirius recovered from his shock first. "Lily?"

James rolled his eyes. "How many other 'Evans's' do we know?"

"James," Remus spoke up, voice filled with disbelief. "Are you absolutely sure about this?"

James shrugged. "Why not?"

Sirius stared some more, then slowly beamed. "I think it's a great idea."

Peter nodded. "Great idea," he echoed.

Remus, however, raised an eyebrow. "James," he sighed. "I know you're still mad that Lily turned you down and humiliated you in front of the whole of Gryffindor, but this is not a good way to get back at her."

James rolled his eyes. "Oh Remus, lighten up."

Remus waved his hand impatiently. "I'm serious, James. This is not a good way to harbor your embarrassment."

"I'm not harboring my embarrassment, whatever that means," James said, annoyed. "I just think it would be a really funny prank."

"Amen to that," Sirius laughed. "I'd love to see Evans bite it."

"Hilarious," Remus said sarcastically. "For this prank, you three can do it. Count me out."

There was a silence in which Sirius, James and Peter goggled at Remus. "What?"

"Count me out," Remus said firmly. "It's not fair to Lily."

"I don't see you saying this when we're pranking Snivellus," James countered.

"Well Snivellus tried to get us back," Remus shot back. "Lily didn't do anything except reject you."

"Come on," James wheedled, ignoring that last comment. "You know you want to…"

"She's my friend, I can't just do this to her."

"Please?" Sirius said. "It's no fun without you…"

Remus laughed. "You guys will have plenty of fun without me, I'm sure."

"Come on, Remus," Peter said.

"Yeah, Remus, you know you want to do it…" James said.

After trying to ignore them for ten minutes while munching on toast and gulping down orange juice, finally Remus was fed up. "OKAY! Alright, I'll do it," he said grumpily.

James cheered while Sirius and Peter did a weird dance in their seats. Remus tried to suppress a grin and failed.

"What's the plan, James? Nothing dangerous, right?" Remus asked grudgingly.

"Of course not!" James smiled. "But this is going to be good…"

* * *

On Halloween, 1974, the Marauders made their way down to the Great Hall for breakfast earlier than usual. Sirius held the little bottle of Amortentia tightly in his hands. They went to great lengths to steal a flask of it from Slughorn's class, and James was ecstatic at how well the plan was working out.

When Lily and Marcella arrived at the Great Hall for breakfast, James smiled to himself.

"Ready?" he asked, turning to his friends.

Sirius nodded with a wicked grin. Remus nodded reluctantly, and Peter nodded looking excited.

"Know your parts?"

Again, Sirius, Remus and Peter nodded. Sirius handed the little bottle of Amortentia to Peter, who folded it neatly in his robes.

James beamed. "Let's go."

They walked up to Lily and Marcella nonchalantly. Lily was reading a book in her lap, but Marcella turned around at the sound of walking feet.

"Hey, Sirius!" Marcella beamed as they walked up.

Sirius did a little bow and smiled at her. "Hello yourself, my fair lady."

Marcella blushed.

"Hello, Lily," James said, grinning at her.

Lily didn't look up. "James," she said stiffly.

"What book?"

Lily remained silent, determinedly not looking at him.

Remus joined in the conversation. "So, how are you ladies this morning?"

Lily smiled at him, ignoring James. "Fine, Remus how are you?"

"Fine," James answered.

"I'm not talking to you, Potter," she snapped.

"So, Marcella, what's your favorite thing to do?" Sirius asked.

"I'm a well-rounded person," Marcella shrugged. "I like everything."

"Me too!"

"I said shut up, Potter, I'm talking to Remus."

While everyone was talking and bickering, Peter slowly slipped the Amortentia out of his robes. Uncorking it as silently as possible, he poured the contents of it into Lily's goblet of pumpkin juice. The pearly contents swirled for a moment, then floated into the air, leaving the juice looking exactly as it did before.

Peter nodded silently to Sirius, James and Remus. The girls apparently noticed nothing.

"Well, I think we should go now," Sirius said, backing away from the table. "We'll leave you ladies in peace."

Marcella grabbed a goblet of pumpkin juice from the table and poured its contents down her throat. Her eyes seemed to glaze for a moment, then she whipped around and stared at James with huge eyes. "Why do you have to go, James?" she asked, looking completely crestfallen.

James looked taken aback. "We don't want to bother you two ladies anymore…"

To everyone's surprise, especially Lily's, Marcella let out a high-pitched giggle. "Oh, Jamesie, you'll never bother me."

Lily gaped at her friend. Jamesie? Something was definitely, definitely wrong…and she wasn't talking about just the name.

James stared at Marcella. "Uh…"

Marcella let out another high-pitched giggle. "Stay with me, Jamesie, and I'll love you forever! I'll love you forever, and ever, and ever, and ever..."

That seemed to strike the Marauders into their senses.

"Oh my God," Remus whispered.

Peter covered his face with his hands.

Oh, crap.

Suddenly, Marcella stood up and threw her arms around James with a loud squeal, almost knocking him over.

"Marcella!" James said, astonished, staggering to keep from falling over..

Her eyes lit up as she looked at him. "You know my name? What is it that you want, Jamesie, dear love?"

"Er," James said hesitantly. "Can you please get off? You're kind of choking me…"

She let go of him looking a little depressed. Suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, she burst into loud, hysterical tears.

Bewildered, the Marauders looked around them. The whole Great Hall was staring at them, pieces of toast and bits of egg still in their mouths. Even the teachers were now staring at them.

Lily glared at James and Sirius, eyes narrowed. "What did you do to her?" she asked in a low and deadly voice.

Remus, seeing that Lily was about to explode with anger, intervened. "Guys, let's bring this outside, okay?" He dragged Marcella out of the Great Hall. She was still crying hysterically. James, Sirius and Peter followed them, and Lily was behind the three boys, eyes flaming with anger.

They found a deserted corridor by a suit of armor and ducked into it.

"What the _hell_?" Lily exploded, teeth bared.

Peter whimpered. Everyone ignored him.

"I've never heard you swear before, Evans," James said, grinning.

"Shut up, Potter," she snapped. "What did you do to my friend?"

Marcella was shaking with renewed sobs. Everyone turned to look at her. She was crouched on the floor, against the wall. "He doesn't love me!" she cried, tears running down her face. She pointed at James. "He doesn't love me! He knows my name but he doesn't love me!" Wailing, she pounded her fists on the floor. Remus gently stopped her fists, but she just kept on crying.

James and Sirius looked at each other. As humorless as the situation was, they couldn't help it. They started laughing.

Lily was beside herself. Those insensitive dolts! "SHUT UP!" she roared, taking out her wand. Immediately, Sirius and James stopped laughing. Miraculously, Marcella stopped crying as well, only her sniffles filled the air with sound.

Lily advanced on James and Sirius, shaking with anger. "You tell me right this second what you did to her," she said in a deadly voice. "Or I swear, I will put on you a curse so bad you'll cry for your mummy."

James grinned cheekily at her. "Oh come on, Evans, it was just a joke –"

She jabbed her wand into his chest. "Now," she snarled, her face flaming.

"It was just a Halloween prank," James said, putting up his hands and smiling. "No harm intended. We just slipped some Amortentia into some pumpkin juice."

Lily clenched her teeth in anger. Amortentia? That was the most powerful love potion! And James was standing here telling her this, completely calm, with no remorse whatsoever.

"That's not funny," she spat.

"Well, I think it would have been incredibly funny if the right person drank it…oops." James covered his mouth with his hands. Too late.

Lily's eyes widened in understanding. Her mouth opened. "That potion was meant for me, wasn't it?"

James grinned. "Yeah."

"I don't believe this!" Lily said loudly.

"Well what's wrong?" James asked innocently. "I seem to remember you telling me to hit you with everything I've got so you can show me some real magic."

Lily glared at him, anger rising up and flaming inside every part of her body. "Yeah, jokes on _me_," she spat. "Not on Marci."

"Well if you just drank the juice the same thing would have happened to you," James said haughtily. "You would have been infatuated with me… and if you drank the potion instead, the prank would have worked. And you would have been sorry to have turned down James Potter."

"Jamesie Potter!" Marci yelled from the wall. "He's number one!"

Lily gnashed her teeth furiously while Sirius surpressed a laugh. "You are pathetic, Potter" she spat in a voice so deadly that Peter whimpered again. "You can't take a loss can you? Your ego is too big! I turned you down, you might as well get used to it because you can't have everything in life. And if you're desperate enough to try a love potion to get me to fall in love with you just to prove that you can get any girl you want and boost your ego, that's just wrong. WRONG! Because I will NEVER fall in love with you, Amortentia or not! There's no potion in the _world_ strong enough for that!"

With one last vindictive look at James, she helped drag Marcella up from the floor and walked away toward the dungeons, presumably to Slughorn's room for an antidote.

"BYE JAMESIE!" Marcella yelled as they turned the corner and out of sight. They heard her voice echo through the corridors. "I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER, AND EVER, AND EVER..."

James couldn't move his feet. He was still in shock, still recovering from what Lily had just said to him. He looked to the stern Remus, the whimpering Peter, and the amused Sirius.

"Has she ever talked to you without yelling at you?" Sirius said, grinning.

"Well," James sputtered, still looking incredibyl confused to what just happened.. "I don't know what that girl was going on about, like this prank was all a ploy to get her to fall in love with me to boost my ego!"

Remus, however, grinned to himself. James may not know it, blind as he was, but Lily definitely had the right idea about this little Halloween prank.


	29. Unleashed

A/N: I'm so sorry, guys! I've been swamped with work...one project after another, one test after another... but that's no excuse. I really promise I'll write often. Thanks for your continuing support!

About this chapter. Well, it should be worth the wait. It's my longest to date. I'm saying that a lot now, aren't I? Well, this time it's definitely true. But don't listen to me, read! It's pretty action packed, especially near the end.

emmys: I know, I feel important when I get mentioned by authors too :) Well, Professor Storm's just evil. I thought it best to show the prejudices that Remus gets, even as he's growing up. I really didn't base him on any of my teachers, but now that I think about it, a couple would have fit the description :)

Kates Master: Thanks! Pointless fluffy chapters aren't really my thing, but I'll definitely try :)

Thanks soooo much to the reviewers! Thanks to GreenDragonDurl, starsword, mellonim, emmys, Kates Master, smittylovesHPfic, redcrushedvelvet and ellieo! I LOVE YOU ALL! Big hugs and cupcakes :)

* * *

_November-December, 1973_

* * *

Unleashed

The incident with the Amortentia was kept quiet throughout the castle. No one was sure why Marcella had turned giggly all of a sudden in the Great Hall. Even the teachers couldn't fathom the mystery, and Slughorn never noticed that a bit of Amortentia was missing from his cauldron. Lily called it pure luck; the Marauders called it talent.

There were now rumors that Marcella Greenwald was in love with James Potter. Both James and Marcella shot that rumor down as quickly as it came up. James said that Marcella wasn't his type, and Marcella said that James wasn't her type. She also added that she wasn't feeling quite herself that day. No need to elaborate.

Marcella had been given an antidote after Lily dragged her to the dungeons. Slughorn merely thought that some boys had slipped her a love potion to get her to fall in love with them. It was sort of the truth, so Lily didn't feel too bad about lying, but not all of the truth. Marcella, being able to remember everything that had happened, was highly embarrassed, but laughed it off. Lily couldn't help but admire her friend. She was a warrior, all right.

Lily's behavior toward the Marauders became absolutely alarming after the event. Every time they passed in the halls, her eyes would narrow to a glare so cold Peter often shivered at the sight of it. That gave Lily a distinctive sense of triumph, though she would still flare up with anger at any sign of the Marauders.

"They're all immature jerks," Lily growled, dipping her quill in ink. She was sitting in the common room with Marcella trying to finish an essay that was due in two days. "Especially that Potter."

Marcella rolled her eyes, bending over her own piece of parchment. "Lily, I agree, but do we have to bring up this subject again?"

"Yes!" Lily said loudly. "He just angers me so much, that Potter… and that Sirius Black! He's no better. Heck, he might even be worse. And that Peter Pettigrew…he just follows every little wrong thing that his friends do, and Remus…"

Lily paused, a bit torn. She liked Remus a lot. He was fun to hang out with, and a good friend of hers. Sometimes she wondered why in the world someone so smart, so good-hearted and quiet would hang out with people likes James Potter and Sirius Black.

"Remus is a decent guy," Marcella said, writing a sentence onto her parchment.

"Yeah," Lily agreed. "But I wonder about him…I really wonder why he would hang out with people like Potter and Black." As she said the last three words, she jabbed her quill so ferociously into her parchment that it made a huge hole.

Lily hastily whipped out her wand. "_Reparo_."

Marcella raised an eyebrow. "Lily, are they really worth your anger?"

"They should be worth yours," Lily exclaimed indignantly. "Really, that love potion was a stupid idea, even for a prank, and you were the one that got hurt in the process!"

Marcella shrugged. "If I could see myself that day, I think I really would have laughed at myself. Really, Lily, it's just a love potion. They're not bad guys. They're just pranksters. They wouldn't do anything dangerous."

Lily stared at her friend, then sighed. "Fine. Think what you want, Marcella, but if you're not going to be angry, I'm going to be angry on your behalf."

Marcella looked at Lily, torn between exasperation and admiration. She shook her head, her dark hair flying. "You're really stubborn, you know that?"

Lily looked at her, then grinned, bending back over her parchment. "Yeah, I know."

* * *

"I know it was him."

Snape was following Lily across the school grounds. She was walking quickly, her school books in her arms, her long red hair floating behind her.

"What are you talking about?" Lily said, without looking at him.

"James Potter. I know it was him that put the Amortentia in that girl's juice. He intended it for you."

"Wow, what an excellent theory," Lily snapped. "Sev, I don't mean to be rude, but it's none of your business."

"The hell it isn't!" he snarled.

She came to a halt. He stopped as well, and she turned to look straight at him. "What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing!" he said, clearly a bit flustered. "I just don't want to see you get hurt by that arrogant prick, that's all! We're friends, I'm looking out for you!"

"Friends, Sev?" she said. "We haven't talked to each other since summer break. It's been months."

She stopped short when she saw the pained look on his face.

"I'm sorry," she said, rather softly. "You know I didn't mean that. Of course we're still best friends, you know that."

"That's why I'm still looking out for you, all the time," he protested.

She rounded on him. "How?" she said angrily. "By picking fights with Potter whenever he's in sight? I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Severus, you know that!"

"I do!" Snape said defensively. "But come on, don't tell me you don't want to get him back - "

"I don't need your help to do it," Lily snapped. "Especially after what your so-called _friends_ have been pulling..." She turned and glared in the direction of Avery and Mulciber, who were guffawing at something across the grounds. "And don't even tell me the stuff they do is retaliation. They're using awful magic."

"And Amortentia isn't?" Snape asked incredulously.

"I can't believe you're defending them!" she said, stamping her foot in frustration. "I know they want to join You-Know-Who, the path they're headed -"

"So what if they do?" Snape said defensively.

They glared at each other.

Finally, Lily broke the silence. "Stay out of it Severus, and stop picking fights with Potter and his idiot friends," Lily said angrily. "It's not worth it."

Snape looked at her grudgingly. She blushed a bit under his gaze.

"Look, I'll see you at the playground over break, alright?" she said, her tone softening. "Sunday. Same time."

At this, his eyes brightened. "See you there," he said as she walked away.

* * *

The Christmas holidays arrived quickly, and Sirius became moodier instead of merrier. Snow was now falling in thick, pearly sheets onto the school grounds. The Marauders, when they weren't planning pranks on fellow classmates or sneaking out at night, often ran out onto the grounds for a snowball fight. Occasionally, Snivellus would pass by, and James, with his incredible Quidditch aim, would smack a snowball right into Snape's greasy hair. The Marauders would laugh, then would fake a look of pure innocence. Twice they accidentally hit teachers, earning a rather long list of detentions.

In Defense class, Professor Storm had told them that they would be moving past werewolves and onto Boggarts. It was all Remus could do to keep from cheering with joy. The whole unit had been completely uncomfortable for him, as Storm kept hinting at what horrible, vile monsters werewolves were. Remus had to exercise serious control on Sirius and James, or else they would have gotten kicked out of school for hexing or strangling a teacher.

Mostly though, he had to keep himself from strangling Storm. He warned himself not to stand up to Storm again and risk his secret getting out. He was very relieved that none of his classmates had come up to him with odd questions on defending werewolves. The last thing he needed was for his classmates to know the real reason he knew so much about werewolves.

The day of the departure from the castle for Christmas, Sirius was in a mood. As the Marauders sat in the dorm room, with Tawny on a table nearby, Sirius packed angrily and noisily, obviously annoyed that he was going home for Christmas. Remus was finished with his packing, and was trying to help his friends pack before they missed the train.

After watching Sirius slam the last of his possessions loudly into his trunk, Remus sighed, thoroughly annoyed. "Sirius."

"What," Sirius snapped.

Remus sighed again as Sirius slammed a pocket Sneakoscope into his trunk, nearly breaking it. "Will you stop it? This is not the worst thing that can happen to you."

Sirius laughed humorlessly. "Actually, yeah it is."

"No it's not," Remus argued.

Sirius looked at him defiantly. "Fine. Give me something that's worse."

Remus thought for a moment. "Your family could be dead and then you'd have nowhere to go."

"Give me a break," Sirius groaned. "If someone granted me a wish, the first thing I'd do is wish for their death."

Peter and James laughed while Remus looked reproachful.

"Really, Sirius," Remus said. "They are your family, after all, whether you like it or not."

Sirius slammed his trunk shut. "I don't like it, Remus," he snapped. "I never will."

"Then you've got to deal with it," Remus said quietly.

Sirius's eyes looked hollow and sunken for a minute, and then he looked back up at Remus. "You're right," he sighed. "But I honestly don't think I can deal with it anymore. It's madness, corrupt madness. I can't take it."

James suppressed a grin. "Well then, I guess you'll just have to spend Christmas at my house, then."

"Have you been deaf for the past year, James?" Sirius snapped. "They won't let me. Period." He snatched a book from his bed and flung it into his other open suitcase.

"Don't be stupid," James said, looking annoyed but calm. "Of course I wasn't talking about you coming with us. However, since none of your family talks to you anyway, just come over by floo powder whenever you feel like it."

"Whenever I feel like it?" Sirius asked slowly.

James nodded.

"So I can burst into your house…while you're sleeping?"

James laughed. "My parents wouldn't be too happy about that."

They all laughed.

"Same goes for me," Remus said once the laughing stopped. "You guys are all welcome to floo over anytime. I think there's a fireplace in my bedroom, so you guys can floo there."

"Great," Sirius beamed. "I'll definitely do that."

"What about you, Peter?" James asked, turning to his friend. "Can we floo over?"

Peter looked down at his feet. "I…I don't know…" He did know. His father…his father would never allow it, especially not James and Remus. James was considered a blood traitor, and Remus…Remus wasn't pureblood. That pretty much settled everything.

"Cheer up, Peter," Sirius said, offering a sympathetic shrug.

"It's okay," Remus said quietly. "We understand."

There was a small silence.

"I don't even know why they want me back at all," Peter muttered, trying desperately to avoid everyone's eyes.

"And now you know how I feel," Sirius said venomously.

James smiled comfortingly at Peter, ignoring Sirius. "You'll always be welcome at our house. I know my parents would love to have you. So please, spare me my misery of loneliness and floo over sometime, alright?"

Peter offered a small smile. "Okay," he agreed at last, nodding

The train whistled in the distance, shattering the silence.

"Time to go," Sirius said heavily, slamming his other suitcase shut.

Remus helped Peter stuff the last of his clothes into his suitcase, then went and dragged his own suitcase over.

"Come on, Tawny!" James groaned, trying to hold on to the cage without dropping it. The owl was making a heavy racket. Apparently it didn't want to leave Hogwarts very much. Even though it was locked in its cage, it was still flapping its wings, rocking the cage back and forth.

With an almighty wrench, James managed to plop the cage on his suitcase. Oddly enough, it shut Tawny up. Breathing heavily, James straightened up, face red.

"Nice owl," Sirius said sarcastically. "Very obedient."

James scowled. "Did you _just_ notice I had an owl?"

Sirius thought for a moment. "I guess so," he finally replied.

"Your lack of observation skills amuses us, Sirius," Remus said, grinning.

Sirius shot Remus a look. "Oh, shut it."

Peter laughed.

"He's been with me since summer, I don't see how you couldn't have noticed," James said to Sirius, suppressing a laugh. "He was with me on the train and he brings me messages…almost every breakfast. Bonehead."

Sirius ignored this last comment, now eyeing the tawny owl with keen eyes. He walked over to James's suitcase, where the owl was still sitting. "So, the owl's name is Tawny?"

"That's right," James said proudly.

Sirius walked closer to the cage and stared at the owl. Tawny was now staring at Sirius as well. It resembled a staring contest, a very oddly proportioned one. Suddenly, Tawny snapped her beak, causing Sirius to jump.

"The name is so original," Sirius said, raising an eyebrow. He backed away from the owl's cage.

"Oh, shut it," James scowled. "I thought of it myself."

"It shows," Sirius said, mouth twitching. Peter and Remus laughed.

"Well I happen to like it," James said defensively.

Sirius laughed. "Whatever, rich boy."

James scowled even more. "I hate it when people call me that." It was true. James's family was extremely well off, especially on money. Sirius found that out first-hand on the Hogwarts Express the first day of school. But James didn't flaunt his riches…he didn't want to. It was more than enough that his parents pretty much spoiled him, but he was a good kid at heart.

"Move it, you three," Remus said urgently. "We're all going to miss the train!" The train whistle again sounded in the distance.

"I wish I could," Sirius muttered so only James could hear. James snickered.

With a depressed sigh, Sirius dragged his suitcases downstairs, following James, Remus and Peter. Almost everyone was already on the train, and a Prefect was herding everyone out of the castle. The Marauders all broke into a run once outside, and managed to hoist themselves onto the Hogwarts express a mere minute before the train departed. Peter almost left his suitcase on the Hogsmeade station, but James managed to take a swipe at it and pull it on board as the train was pulling out of the station.

"That was close," Remus panted, wiping sweat off his brow. The Marauders were making their way down the corridor to their usual compartment.

"Too close," Peter breathed. "Thanks, James."

"No problem," James grinned, running his hands through his hair. They arrived at their usual compartment and found a group of what looked like first years sitting there. As soon as Sirius stepped in the compartment, the group of first years immediately wrenched their trunks out of the luggage rack and raced out of the compartment. One kid actually bowed to Sirius as he passed. Most merely gave the Marauders frightened looks.

"Now this is the life," Sirius sighed happily, plopping down on a seat.

James laughed. "Did you see their faces?" With a grunt of effort, he hoisted Peter's suitcase into the luggage rack.

"That was funny," Sirius grinned. "At least they know who are the masters of the school. I would have had to hex them if they didn't."

Remus, Peter and James sat down as well. As the train left the station, James looked back at Hogwarts with a small sigh of longing. The castle's stone walls seemed to glisten as James looked through the window. The cheery glow was still there, a tribute of the students who wished to remain at school during the holidays. Suddenly, James felt an odd sense of loss.

"I know how you feel," Sirius said quietly. "I'll miss the castle too."

Surprised, James turned to him. "How did you know what I was thinking?" he asked.

Sirius gave a slight smile and a shrug. "Because I have that same look on my face every time I leave Hogwarts," he replied softly. "I'm not going home right now. The House of Black is just another lousy vacation, because I don't see it as my home. No, Hogwarts is my home." He smiled sadly. "And it pains me to have to leave it, but I always know that I'll be coming back home."

As the train zoomed past the green hills and the shining lakes, James smiled to himself. He knew Sirius was right.

"Hogwarts is my home too," he whispered, still gazing out the window.

* * *

"GO BACK TO DUMBLEDORE AND ASK FOR A RESORTING!"

"I CAN'T!" Sirius roared at his mother. "AND I DON'T WANT TO!"

"DO IT!"

"NO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

"FILTHY INGRATE!" Mrs. Black screeched, beside herself. The whole house shook. Windows rattled, and even the tables clanged a bit on the floor. Regulus, who was standing nearby, was watching the whole scene as if it was an extremely entertaining show. Mr. Black was out, doing some odd business for the day. "YOU STAND THERE, IN OUR HOUSE, WITH THE CLOTHES WE HAVE BOUGHT FOR YOU AND PUT ON YOUR BACK, IN YOUR STOMACH THE FOOD WE HAVE FED YOU! WE DID NOT PAY FOR YOU TO GO TO HOGWARTS TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH BLOOD TRAITORS AND FILTH! WE DID NOT PAY FOR YOU TO BE IN GRYFFINDOR WITH MUGGLE LOVERS AND MUDBLOODS! ESPECIALLY THAT OLD DODDERY FOOL, ALBUS DUMBLEDORE!"

"SHUT UP!" Sirius shouted, eyes narrowed to an angry slit. Around him, Regulus let out an amused laugh.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Mrs. Black screamed.

"I SAID SHUT UP!" Sirius roared with all his might. "SHUT UP ABOUT MY FRIENDS! THEY WEREN'T BLOOD TRAITORS, THEY WEREN'T SCUM! SHUT UP ABOUT DUMBLEDORE! HE'S THE GREATEST WIZARD THAT EVER LIVED!"

Mrs. Black laughed humorlessly. "ALBUS DUMBLEDORE IS A FOOL! AND AS FOR YOUR FRIENDS...THEY ARE!" Mrs. Black spat. "THEY ARE SCUM, FILTH, UNWORTHY TO WALK ABOUT OUR LAND!"

"THEY'RE MORE WORTHY PEOPLE THAN YOU EVER WILL BE!" Sirius snapped, so angry he thought seriously about ripping his mother to shreds. Instead, he teetered on his feet for a bit, then ran up the stairs to the only place of solitude, his bedroom. As he was ascending the stairs, he heard his mother's screams and his brother's peals of laughter from downstairs.

Sirius slammed the door shut with an unnecessary amount of force. "Stupid kid," he muttered to himself. He could still hear his brother guffawing through the closed door.

He ran his hands through his hair, and it fell back into place neatly, very unlike his best friend. Slamming his fist into the wall, Sirius slumped onto his bed. He couldn't take it anymore. He was seriously thinking about running away, but right now it was just too much on his plate to handle. Besides, where would he go?

He knew James would gladly take him in. He was grateful for it. But he didn't need this right now. It was just too stressful.

Sirius stood up and began pacing around the room, hot anger once more coursing through his body. Abruptly stopping, he took a deep breath. Fine. If they were going to be like this to him, he needed an outlet, somewhere to vent.

"James, here I come," he muttered.

Sirius grabbed a handful of floo powder from the pot stashed under his bed. He took out a jar of flames that he had made during school and emptied its contents into the fireplace. A cheery, red fire sprang up at once. Of course, a wand would have created a fire, but Sirius was still underage.

He took a deep breath and flung the powder into the fireplace. His family wouldn't miss him. They wouldn't care if he were gone. They wouldn't bother to check. Sirius stepped into the deep green fire.

"The Potter Manse!" he said clearly. Remembering to keep his arms tucked tightly in, Sirius saw a swirl of darkness before he was spinning, spinning dizzily through air…

Then the sensation was gone. Coughing, Sirius pulled himself out of the ashes and stood up, rubbing his eyes. He was standing in the Potters' living room, covered in soot.

"Hello?" he called. "Anyone home?"

A house elf burst suddenly into the room from the kitchen, beaming widely. "Master Sirius!" Heda squeaked excitedly, clutching a towel. "Heda is glad to see you!" She threw her little elf arms around Sirius in a hug.

Sirius's face broke into a wide grin, a look that he had been deprived of ever since his arrival home. He hugged her back. "Hello, Heda. I'm glad to see you too. Can you tell me where James is?"

Heda let go of him, still beaming. "Young Master Potter is upstairs in his bedroom, sir. I can go and get him if master wishes."

"No need," a cheerful voice came from the doorway. Sirius looked up in surprise to see James with his odd-angled hair. "I'm already here."

"James!" Sirius said, grinning.

James laughed. "Sirius." He turned to Heda, smiling. "Thank you, Heda."

"My job is done," Heda bowed. She ran out of the room, still beaming.

"I think Heda's happy to see you," James said, grinning. "So. What brings you here, Sirius?"

Sirius's grin faltered. He sighed and proceeded to explain the argument he just had with his parents.

"Bloody hell," James muttered when Sirius had finished. "Stupid gits."

Sirius could not help but grin at this. "So I just thought I'd drop by, you know, say hello and everything," he said, twiddling his thumb. "See how you were doing."

"Oh I'm fine," James said, laughing. "Plus my house is a convenient sanctuary, right?"

Sirius beamed. "Absolutely."

"You're welcome anytime," James said, still laughing.

They both walked up to James's room. The walls had some new Quidditch posters plastered on them. Spellbooks and Quidditch magazines littered the floor. Sirius could barely walk without stepping on something. It seemed to be a lot worse than the last time Sirius was here.

"It's a bit messy," James said casually. "I'd clean it up, but I'm too lazy."

"Thanks for stating the obvious," Sirius said sarcastically.

James artfully sat down on his bed, somehow able to avoid the clusters of junk that already was spread upon it. "So," he said slowly, looking at Sirius. "How long are you staying?"

Sirius shrugged. "I don't know," he answered honestly. "They won't notice I'm gone, so I guess for a while."

"Do you need the guest room?" James offered. "I could set it up for you if you're planning to stay overnight. My parents wouldn't mind."

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "I'm not sure I'd want you to set up a room, considering the state of your own room," Sirius grinned, gesturing at the messy clumps on James's floor.

James pretended to look offended. "Well I would give thanks to a person who's letting their friend stay over and avoid their overbearing evil twits of parents."

Sirius laughed again. "Thanks."

"No problem," James said, grinning. He stood up from his bed. "Want some food?"

Sirius grinned back. "You know me. I'm starving."

* * *

Sirius stayed over at James's house for the rest of the day. Heda delighted Sirius by cooking his favorite foods. With his stomach warm and full, Sirius and James played some Quidditch, played some exploding snap, and then had fun poring over huge volumes that contained funny hexes.

"This one would look great on Snivellus," James said excitedly. "We'd no longer have to worry about his greasy hair."

Sirius laughed. The Balding Charm looked a bit complicated, but he was willing to try it out, all for the sake of old Snivelly.

James had taken out a paper clip and was playing with it.

"What's that?" Sirius asked interestedly.

"Paper clip," James answered.

"What?"

"It's a Muggle device. My dad brought it back for me. He said he found it on a Muggle street."

"Right... What's a paper clip?"

"It clips paper."

"What's paper?"

James laughed, eyebrow raised. "You really should take Muggle Studies, mate." He pocketed the paper clip and flipped through another book of hexes.

The sun was setting. The golden horizon outside streamed through the window, like golden thread. The color-painted sky glared brightly against the bland mountains. James and Sirius laughed and talked some more until the beautiful sunset was replaced by the darkening night, black and hollow. The clouds were thick and nearly covered the whole sky in its blanket.

Sirius's eyes traveled over to the black abyss outside. "James," he said slowly.

"Yeah?" James said, not looking up from a volume of _Haldrion's Hexes_.

"Where are your parents?"

James didn't answer for a bit, but then he slowly looked up. "I don't know," he said, voice a bit strained. Then he sighed. "There's been all these attacks lately from Voldemort. My dad, as you know is an Auror, and my mum does something for somebody. This holiday I haven't really seen much of them. I really miss them. It's Christmas, and instead of being happy, I'm so constantly worried that they're going to get hurt, or even die." He sighed again wearily. "I do hope they're okay."

Sirius felt his heart get a bit heavier. Of course, he never knew the love of parents, but Mr. and Mrs. Potter were like parents to him. For once, just this once, he had an idea of how James felt.

"They'll be fine," he assured James confidently.

"I sure hope so," James said, eyes traveling back down to the book.

Sirius felt bad about bringing the subject up. Flipping through a volume of _Heckling Hexes_, he suddenly thought of a way to cheer his friend up. "James, let's go," he said suddenly, standing up.

James looked up. "Go where, Sirius? Back down to the kitchens?"

"Of course not," Sirius said. "I have enough food in my stomach to feed three hungry people. Anyway, didn't Remus say that we could visit him any time we wanted?"

James nodded slowly. "Yeah. You're not thinking about going to visit now, right? I mean, it's really late."

Sirius shrugged. "He'll be happy to see us."

James looked outside. "It's already dark. What if he's asleep?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "He's probably up doing his holiday homework or something. Come on, James. You need to get out of this house, and I know Remus will be happy to see us. We'll floo up to his room."

James looked doubtful.

"Come on," Sirius grinned, gesturing toward the open door. "What better than a night adventure to raise your spirits?"

James raised an eyebrow.

"Come on!" Sirius repeated. "We're Marauders, remember?"

James slowly grinned as well. "Okay," he finally agreed. "But we'd better get back before my parents come back."

Sirius beamed. "Deal. This is going to be great. We haven't seen Remus in a while."

"True," James agreed. "Okay, so we're going to floo there. Do we need any floo powder on the trip back?"

Sirius thought for a moment, then shook his head. "I'm sure Remus has some."

James nodded. "Okay, then, let's head on out." He sprang up and followed Sirius out the door to the living room, pocketing his wand along the way. Sirius had left his wand on James's desk, and refused to go all the way back and get it. Heda was apparently cooking a late dinner for James's parents. With all the clashing and noises from the kitchen, James and Sirius had no trouble getting to the fireplace without being heard.

James stepped in the fireplace first. The flames engulfed him. Sirius followed suit. Soon, he found himself climbing out of an extremely ashy fireplace. He bumped suddenly into James.

"Ow!" Sirius said, rubbing his head and wincing.

"Sorry," James grinned. He looked around Remus's bedroom. It was a rather large room, with a bed and some drawers. The walls were blank. There was what looked like a hand-knitted rug across the floor. Spread across the desk was some books for Charms and pieces of loose parchment. James strongly suspected that Remus had been doing homework.

On one small section of the wall, there was a portrait of a woman. The woman smiled at James and Sirius as they looked around. A basket of fresh flowers hung underneath the portrait. On the basket there was a sign that read:

Aunt Mae: I Miss You.

James smiled sadly at the portrait. This must be the aunt that passed away, the one that helped Remus so much with his transformations, the healer that brought Remus out of the wolf. A wave of understanding gushed through James. He knew how it felt to lose family members that had given you so much while alive.

"So where is he?" Sirius asked, jerking James back to reality. Sirius walked carefully around the room.

"He's not here," James said, peeking under a desk.

"Thank you for that piece of hard-earned information," Sirius said sarcastically.

James scowled. "Well, he's not here. Should we just go back?"

Sirius stuck his head behind a drawer and pulled his head back out. "He has to be here. It's really dark outside, where else could he be? A slumber party?"

"Good point," James shrugged. "He's not in this room. Let's look around."

Sirius shrugged. "Okay."

He followed James out of the room. Deciding that Remus wasn't in any of the other bedrooms, they proceeded down to stairs and into the living room.

"Remus?" James called softly. "Are you here?"

"Nice couch," Sirius commented. The blue-patterned couch was filled with cushions.

"He's not here, either," James said slowly. He turned to Sirius. "You know, I think we should turn back now. I really don't think that anyone's here."

"He's got to be here," Sirius said stubbornly. "He has to be. Remus?"

Sirius and James trekked around the room for a couple more minutes.

"Okay, that's it," James said finally. "He's not here, Sirius. Accept it."

Sirius looked defiant for a moment, then sighed. "Oh fine. He's not here." His eyes traveled one more time around the room and spied a wooden door that they hadn't tried yet.

"Are we going?" James asked, already halfway up the stairs.

"Just a moment," Sirius said slowly. "How about we try one last door?" He pointed at the wooden door. "If he's not there, I swear, we'll go straight back."

James seemed to teeter on his feet for a moment. He finally sighed resignedly. "Okay, fine. If he's not there, we leave. I mean, we're not supposed to be here if Remus isn't."

"That's fine," Sirius agreed. James walked back down the stairs as Sirius reached for the doorknob. The door opened, and revealed a rather dark passageway downstairs.

James stepped down the stairs first. He could barely see. He thought about using his wand, but didn't want to risk illegal magic. As he made it down the stairs, his eyes got more and more adjusted to the darkness. Now he could make out some shapes ahead of him. At the end of the passageway, James saw another wooden door, almost identical to the one that they had just come through. Suddenly, he heard movement behind the wooden door.

"Did you hear that?" James asked Sirius, grinning. "I think he might be in here."

"Well?" Sirius's voice came from behind James. "Open the door!"

James reached his hand out to the wooden doorknob. It wouldn't budge. "It's locked."

"You have a wand," Sirius's voice came. "Use it."

James scowled. "We're not allowed to use magic outside of Hogwarts."

"Well? How are we getting in, then?"

James thought for a moment. He then reached in his pocket and pulled out the paper clip that he had been playing with earlier. "This should do the trick."

"Wait," Sirius said, confused. "I thought that paper clips clipped paper."

"They do," James said, now bending the clip. "But I heard about this thing that Muggles do, it's called picking the lock." He bent down and observed the doorknob. As he inserted the clip into the keyhole, he heard a slight shuffling noise from inside.

"Remus?" he asked. "Is that you? Well save us the trouble and open the door for us."

Sirius and James both waited for a while. The shuffling noise was now accompanied by what seemed like a low growl, but the doorknob didn't move.

"Come on Remus," James said jokingly. "Or we'll blast the door open."

Still, the doorknob didn't move.

James shrugged, stuck the paper clip into the keyhole even further, and began to twist it around. After a short while, both James and Sirius heard a click.

Grinning, James opened the door and stepped inside what looked like a very large basement. He heard Sirius walk in behind him and shut the door. The basement had stone walls and pretty much nothing else. The ceiling was very high up, almost impossible to reach. There was no furniture, only a single very battered chair that stood against the wall.

"Remus?" Sirius called from behind James. "Are you in here?"

"Remus?" James echoed. He walked further in the basement, and to his disappointment, did not see Remus anywhere. He shrugged to himself. "Okay, Sirius, satisfied?" he said finally. "He's not here. Let's go."

Sirius didn't answer. James turned around, ready to go, but then saw something that literally made his heart stop.

Sirius.

Sirius was staring at a full-grown werewolf.

And the werewolf was poised and ready to attack.

"Sirius," James said hoarsely, feeling numb. His heart was pounding, eyes wide with terror. They had to get out of here. Now. The werewolf was going to kill them. They had to get out.

Sirius didn't budge. His mouth was wide open, staring at the creature that bent menacingly over him. It was Remus…except it wasn't Remus anymore. A huge creature of seven feet towered over Sirius. It had hair that resembled what used to be on Remus's head, but now the whole body was covered with that hair. The sharp, yellow teeth were bared under the snout, the glaring yellow eyes staring monotonously at Sirius as if ready to kill. The claws of the werewolf were raised and poised, as if ready to slash Sirius to little pieces...

"Sirius, move," James said weakly, voice just as hoarse as before.

Sirius stood still.

"MOVE!" James suddenly roared.

That seemed to spark Sirius into his senses. As Remus the wolf lunged at him, he quickly ran out of the way, narrowly avoiding Remus's oncoming claws. James let out a little breath of relief.

Remus the wolf let out a chilling howl that made the hair on James's body stand up straight. It was only then that James looked outside and realized the bright moon shining, the beams of light streaming into the room through the window near the ceiling…the full moon, no longer surrounded by thick clouds in the dark night. The full moon...the worst fear of Remus Lupin.

"James, watch out!" Sirius suddenly yelled. With his quick Quidditch reflexes, James snapped out of his reverie and dived out of the way just as the werewolf made for him. The wolf hit the wall behind James instead, and looked dazed for a moment. Still, James and Sirius weren't close enough to the door to make it out in time. Remus the wolf let out another howl, this time louder than the last.

Sirius ran to the left as James ran to the right across the large basement. James closed his eyes, heart pounding, and tried to think of the steps for the Animagi transformations. No luck. He felt the familiar tingling sensation, but knew that nothing had changed.

"Come on," he whispered frantically to himself. "Please work…" Concentrating harder on the steps, he again felt the sensation, but knew once again that nothing had changed. Why wasn't the transformations working? He needed them to work... he needed them to work... but they still didn't work. They hadn't found the right steps.

"No, Remus, stop! It's me, Sirius!"

James whipped around and to his horror saw Sirius on the floor of the basement, the wolf towering over him. Sirius seemed to have tripped over his feet and was now backing slowly away from Remus. Remus the wolf was advancing and getting closer every second, mouth open to reveal sharp and threatening fangs. James couldn't move. He was transfixed and rooted to the spot with terror.

"Please, Remus," Sirius said, almost pleadingly, looking up at the werewolf. "I'm your friend, we're your friends, me and James…I know you're in there, Remus…don't give up on us...please...you know us...we know you're in there..."

The wolf seemed to hesitate for a mere second, then advanced further on Sirius, yellow teeth bared, growling. It let out another bone-chilling howl, then sneered evilly as only a werewolf could sneer. It growled louder, and stared at Sirius with those haunting yellow eyes.

Then, it lunged at Sirius.

Sirius closed his eyes, bracing himself for the worst…

"IMPEDIMENTA!"

There was a loud crash. Sirius slowly opened his eyes, afraid of what he might see. James was standing a few feet away from him, wand still pointed shakily. Against the wall was the body of Remus the werewolf, crumpled and apparently unconscious. Remus the wolf growled softly, then shuddered for a bit. He didn't get up.

"Remus, I'm so sorry," James said hoarsely, lowering his wand. Biting his lip, he looked away from the crumpled form of Remus against the wall. He helped Sirius up.

"We have to get out of here, Sirius," James said quietly. He turned one last time to look at Remus. "I'm so sorry." His eyes were watering, but he held the tears back. "Let's go, Sirius," James whispered, making for the doorway and holding open the wooden door. His hands were shaking.

Sirius nodded, still in a daze, and followed James up the stairs, making sure to close the wooden doors along the way. They arrived once more in Remus's bedroom. Fire sprung up from the fireplace at once. Maybe magic sensed the distress of the two boys. Either way, it prevented James from doing more illegal magic.

Shakily, James grabbed a handful of floo powder from a pot nearby and disappeared into the fireplace with a bunch of green flames. Sirius did the same. He felt the familiar sensation of whirling and remembered to keep his elbows tucked in. It was only that when they arrived back at the house of Potter did the two friends finally look at each other.

James closed his eyes slowly and slumped down into a couch in the living room. Sirius guiltily followed suit. They could still hear Heda cooking in the kitchen, meaning that the Potters still weren't back yet. Sirius sat on the couch, a million thoughts and memories teeming through his head. He turned to his friend.

A silent tear had made its way down James's face. He buried his head in his hands sorrowfully, and when he looked up again, streaks of tears were still running down his face.

"Remus, I'm so sorry."


	30. The Boggart

A/N: I'm so sorry, guys! I never realized how hard tenth grade would be! This chapter...well, I guess it depends on opinion if you like it or not. I personally am okay with is another long chapter, should make some of you happy since the last long wait. I didn't have time to edit it, I just wanted to get it up as soon as possible, so excuse some of the crappy writing.

Kates Master: They're in their fouth year, still. This takes place during and after Christmas vacation.

Camilinha : Oh, you're good :) Yeah, don't worry, I'm not forgetting about Faye.

redcrushedvelved: Thank you so much! If you have any ideas, I would honestly love to hear them. :)

kgk89: I'm planning on going until the day James and Lily die, and maybe a couple more chapters after that to tell how Sirius got thrown in jail, how the Longbottoms got tortured and stuff like that.

Thanks to all of you for your continuing support! I love you all! Thanks to ellieo, MidnightDayDream, Kates Master, Camilinha, Happyherminchen, wind, emmys, GreenDragonDurl, Sarah Fischer, redcrushedvelvet (twice!), kgk89, mellonim, SweetLikeALemon, Adam&Chuck and the-girl-named-kittie. You guys are so awesome! I love you all!

* * *

December, 1973 - January, 1974

* * *

The Boggart

The rest of Christmas seemed to pass in a blur for James Potter. He couldn't think, he couldn't rest. His mind was filled with a horrible unease.

Remus.

They had hurt Remus.

Remus counted on his friends to be there for him, and James knew he and Sirius failed, failed miserably. They had gone wandering into his house at night. They completely ignored the fact that there might have been a full moon that night. Without so much as a warning, they sauntered into Remus's house, completely unprepared.

And they had almost gotten themselves killed.

On Christmas morning, James tried to feel cheerful, but he couldn't do it. He wanted to floo over to Remus's house and apologize, apologize for everything that went wrong, apologize for his stupidity. But he couldn't do it. It's not like he was afraid of Remus's reaction. James wasn't sure exactly how to apologize, and sometimes that made it even worse than the fear of Remus's reaction.

So instead of being genuinely happy as he opened his presents, James forced smiles, forced laughs, and made excuses to get away from his family. He could tell that they were a bit disappointed, seeing as his mum and dad had taken a day off work to spend Christmas with James. James felt guilty, but at the moment, that strong feeling of guilt wasn't the most important in his heart.

As he sat on his bed, James closed his eyes. It had been days since they went to visit Remus, but it felt like only yesterday. James remembered that amassing fur, the sharp claws, and those staring yellow eyes when he first looked into them… He remembered that creature towering over Sirius, the creature snarling, lunging. He remembered how he had pulled out his wand, all thoughts forgotten, screaming out the first spell that came to his head.

He remembered his shock and horror as Remus, his friend Remus, flew against the wall, falling, falling, falling… and with a loud crash, collapsed on the floor, head drooped.

James had heard the moan of pain, had almost dropped the wand in his hand…he remembered how he had taken one look at his two friends on the ground and almost started crying, though he tried to hold back the tears.

But he did cry.

It all became too much.

James opened his eyes again, holding back the new wave of tears that were threatening to fall. It wasn't fair. Everything always seemed to happen to Remus, to his friends. It was unbelievable that he had worried about Lily the whole year while Remus…Remus was in a shack, facing his worst fear, battling within himself, struggling to survive. It was unbelievable that Peter and Sirius had to deal with their families, people who didn't care or simply didn't want to care. James had never known that sort of life. It seemed unbelievable to him that his worries were so trivial, so simple, and so … stupid, while his friends faced the cold dark place that was the world.

It wasn't fair.

James knew it wasn't fair.

But he knew that if he could trade places with them, he would, just to lift their pain for one day, just to see them without worries, without fear. He would give his life for them.

Sighing, James sat up, running his hands through his hair. "You can't do anything," he told himself. "You can't trade places, and right now, you can't help them."

But James knew he could. Remus was right. His friends didn't need his pity. They needed his friendship.

* * *

"You WHAT?" Peter squeaked.

"Calm down," Sirius said, annoyed.

"I can't calm down!" Peter said, voice getting squeakier by the second. "You went and visited Remus on a full moon? You could have gotten yourselves killed!"

"I kind of figured that for myself, thanks," James said sarcastically.

The three boys were sitting in their usual compartment on the train ride back to Hogwarts. The Hogwarts Express hadn't started moving yet. James and Sirius thought it best to tell Peter of all the events that had happened that night, and Peter was taking it a lot worse than either James or Sirius expected.

"Let me get this straight," Peter said weakly. "Sirius…you walked into that basement…and you saw Remus? As a werewolf?"

Sirius nodded. "I looked to my left, didn't see anything. James said something, but as James said something, I looked to my right, and the next thing I knew, there were those murderous eyes, staring straight at me." Sirius gave a small shudder of nervousness. The moment he had looked at the wolf, his insides had frozen up.

"Have you apologized yet?" Peter asked.

James sighed. "I honestly wanted to on Christmas…but I couldn't…it's really hard trying to think of something to say…"

There was a small silence.

"I know how you feel," Sirius said softly.

The train whistle sounded. James looked out the window and saw that that train had just started moving and gaining speed. The train rounded a corner, and James could no longer see the platform.

He suddenly realized something. "Where's Remus?" he asked, eyebrows furrowed.

Sirius seemed startled and surprised.

Peter looked around. "Wow. He's not here."

"Good to know your eyes work," Sirius said sarcastically.

Peter flushed.

"So where is he?" James asked.

Peter frowned. "Is he avoiding you guys?"

James thought for a moment. "Maybe…"

"That's a good point," Sirius said.

"But if he's not here, then where could he be?" James said, puzzled.

"Maybe he just got on the train and is making his way down the corridor right now," Peter said hopefully.

Sirius shrugged. "Maybe. Let's wait."

"Okay," Peter agreed.

James took out his wizard's chess set. He set it up and began to play a game with Peter. He won, of course, and challenged Sirius to a game. Peter watched them excitedly, cheering both of them on. After James won, he sighed.

"What?" Sirius grinned. "You just won."

James shot Sirius a look. "I know, but I'm just wondering where Remus is."

"Oh," Sirius said, grin fading. He fell silent.

"Well, now at least we're pretty sure that he's avoiding you guys," Peter spoke up.

"Thanks," Sirius snarled. "That's a great help."

Peter fell silent.

"He can't avoid us forever," James said firmly. "We're his friends. The only way he could truly avoid us was by transferring to another school."

Sirius and Peter stared at James in alarm.

"Not that he will," James added hastily. "He knows Hogwarts is his home."

"It's too different without Remus," Sirius said.

"I agree," Peter sighed.

There was another silence.

James suddenly stood up, to the surprise of his friends. "He can't avoid us forever," James said. "He's got to be somewhere on this train, I mean it's probably his only transportation to school. We've just got to look."

"You're right," Peter said.

"Yeah, we need to apologize or something," Sirius said.

"You guys, not me," Peter squeaked.

Sirius scowled. He and Peter stood up. Sirius threw open the compartment door and walked into the corridors. James and Peter followed suit.

"Not here," James said, looking into a compartment.

"Keep looking," Sirius said. "We know he's here."

They searched pretty much every compartment, getting nearer and nearer to the front of the train. Finally, they found what they were looking for. Sitting in one of the first compartments on the train was Remus Lupin, Marcella Greenwald and Lily Evans.

James wrenched open the compartment door. Thankfully, it was unlocked.

Lily's eyes instantly narrowed at the three boys standing in the doorway. Remus, startled, turned and took a good look at his three friends, closed his eyes, and looked back down at his lap.

"Remus," James said quietly. Remus didn't respond, but opened his eyes.

"Remus," James repeated. "Come on, snap out of it. We need to talk."

"No we don't," Remus said, voice quavering a bit.

"Yes we do," James said firmly.

"No we do not," Remus said again, a bit louder, trying to sound more confident.

"We need to talk." James stepped forward to move into the compartment.

"Oh for Heaven's sake, Potter!" Lily spoke up, suddenly appearing in front of James and blocking his way into the compartment. "He doesn't want to talk to you! Is that so hard to comprehend?"

"Evans," James snapped coldly, trying to move past her. "Remus is our friend. We need to talk to him. Will you back off? Please?"

Lily looked taken aback. James never spoke to her this way, and it took her by surprise. She recovered quickly, though, now standing stubbornly with her hands on her hips. "Oh come off it, Potter," she retorted icily. "If he doesn't want to talk to you, I really don't see the point."

All this time, Sirius had been standing in the doorway behind James, very impatient. He really needed to apologize to Remus, or at least talk to him. He finally couldn't take it anymore. "Evans, will you just move out of the way?" he suddenly roared, causing everyone to jump. He pushed James out of the way and was now towering over Lily.

Lily glared at him, undaunted. Her green eyes flamed. "Absolutely not, unless Remus wants to talk to you guys."

"Well we want to talk to him," Sirius snapped. "Move, or I'll make you." He reached in his robe to pull out his wand, but Lily beat him to it. Before he had the chance to plunge his hand into his robe, Lily already had her wand pointed squarely at his forehead, glowering menacingly.

Sirius ground his teeth together, but stood still after taking a glance at the wand now pointed at his forehead. What the hell was this girl doing? She didn't even know Remus. His fingers clenched tighter into a fist. "Evans, I'm asking for the last time," Sirius spat. "Move the bloody hell out of the way."

"Or you'll what," Lily snapped. "Take Potter's hair and suffocate me with it?"

"Hey!" James's voice came from behind Sirius.

Sirius glared at her. Lily glared right back.

"Don't mess with me, Evans."

Lily let out a humorless laugh. "You think you scare me?" she snarled. "You may scare the first years, but I know you're nothing but an egotistical bully who'll do anything for a laugh."

"Why you –!" Sirius advanced on Lily. Lily pointed her wand even closer to his forehead, standing her ground. Sirius froze, still gnashing his teeth together.

"Okay, come on guys," a new voice interjected. Marcella walked in between Sirius and Lily, trying to push the two apart.

"Get out of the way," Sirius and Lily said at the same time.

"Sirius, James, Peter, you guys need to get out," Marcella said firmly and steadily. "Remus doesn't want to talk to you, so there's no point."

"We want to talk to him," Sirius snarled.

"Remus," Marcella said gently, turning to Remus. "Do you want to talk to them?"

Remus bit his lip. Without looking up at anyone, he slowly shook his head.

There was an awkward silence. Lily and Sirius glared some more at each other. Finally, Sirius, still gnashing his teeth, retreated slowly out of the compartment and walked out of sight, James and Peter following him.

Lily let out a sigh, lowered her wand, and turned to Marcella. "How come they listen to you, Marci?"

Marcella let out a smile. "Correction. They listen to Remus."

"Point taken," Lily sighed. "They make me so mad…those immature jerks…"

Remus sat in his seat, listening to the conversation, still avoiding eye contact by staring out the window where the scenery was rapidly changing from green pastures to crystal oceans. Part of him wanted to defend his friends from being called immature jerks, but another part of him was still hurting, wounds running as deep as the ocean.

He had fought with the wolf, fought to keep his mind, his sanity. He had failed. Sirius…Sirius got through to him for a bit, but every time he lost control again. He had almost killed them, and he knew it. The times where he was conscious inside the wolf he saw the room through his own eyes. He had seen Sirius's stormy eyes and fought to keep his claws in check, but lost control. He saw James's hazel eyes and once again fought but lost control. He remembered towering over Sirius for the second time. Sirius was pleading…pleading to bring Remus out. But he couldn't do it. Remus knew he had control for just a few seconds, then his world went black.

When he woke up the next morning, all he could think about was whether his friends were still alive… It was the one night that his parents both had to work. When the sun rose, he was in his bed, being treated to by his father. But Remus didn't ask if there had been bodies in the basement, or did he go down himself to check. He was too afraid. He was scared of what he might see.

When the compartment door had opened to reveal James, Sirius and Peter, Remus had been so relieved - they didn't seem to even have a scratch. But he was ashamed. He had almost killed his friends, and he knew it. It was the second time. What if next time he actually killed them?

"Remus," Lily said gently, snapping Remus back to reality. "Remus, are you listening?"

Remus turned and looked at her. "Sorry, I drifted off."

"It's fine," Marcella said, smiling.

"We were just wondering why you didn't want to talk to James, Sirius and Peter," Lily continued. "Are you mad at them? Did they do something stupid?"

Remus offered a small smile. "No."

"So what happened?"

Remus sighed. Flashes of memories came to his brain. Sirius on the ground, pleading…James yelling…"Lily," Remus said sadly. "I don't really want to talk about it. I'm sorry."

Lily paused, then smiled. "That's okay. But just know that if you ever need to talk to us, we're here for you, okay?" Marcella nodded in agreement.

Remus nodded. "Okay."

Feeling a little better, Remus returned to staring out the window, mouth curled into a slight smile.

* * *

The first few days back from the winter vacation, Remus took the liberty of avoiding his fellow Marauders whenever he could. During classes, he would wait until James, Sirius and Peter were seated, then moved to the opposite side of the room. He took refuge in the library, knowing fully well that James and Sirius detested the place. Twice, he actually say James and Sirius in the library looking for him, but there was a remote corner of the library that Remus was rather fond of that people often passed right by without looking into.

Remus wouldn't sleep in the dormitory either. Every night, after James, Sirius and Peter went to sleep, he would sneak in to the dorm, grab his blankets and sleep on the couches in the common room. He was up and out before anyone else could get up in the morning.

Remus often sat with Lily and Marcella during the meals. Every time James, Sirius or Peter tried to approach him, Remus would grab his bags and run out, taking refuge in the library. Lily and Marcella were concerned about him, but knew better than to ask Remus more questions. Remus was immensely grateful for this. The last thing he needed was Lily and Marcella to find out his secret after James and Sirius had almost been killed by what he is.

Dreading going back to Storm's class, Remus walked into the classroom so late that there wasn't an open seat. Knowing fully well that Storm wouldn't think of taking pity on him to conjure up another desk, Remus set his bag down on the floor and stood against the wall, right next to the doorway.

He looked around the classroom. Lily and Marcella were there, and they smiled at him. Remus smiled back. Then, his eyes caught Sirius. Sirius was staring right back at Remus with those stormy eyes. Remus felt the smile slide slowly off his face. He looked quickly away.

Storm suddenly appeared in front of the classroom, and everyone instantly fell silent. "Take out a piece of paper and a quill," he instructed, putting his briefcase down. "And also take out your wand."

The class immediately began to chatter excitedly. Usually, Storm only had them take out a wand if the day's lesson was a practical lesson.

"Quiet," Storm snapped. The class instantly became quiet.

"Now," Storm said, pacing around the room. "Now, I told you before break that we were going to be moving from werewolves to Boggarts. I would have liked to spend more time on the recognition of the werewolf, but Dumbledore suggests that we move on." Here, Storm threw Remus a very nasty look. Remus didn't care, and felt a sense of warmth knowing that Dumbledore helped him out of Storm's grasps.

"Regardless," Storm continued. "Boggarts will be out next section. Who can tell me what a boggart is?"

Lily's hand hit the air.

"Yes, Ms. Evans?" Storm said, turning to look at her.

"A boggart is a shape-shifter that will take the form of what we fear most." Lily said confidently.

"That's right," Storm nodded. "How can a boggart be banished? Ms. Evans?"

"It can be banished by laughter."

"Good job. Take five points for Gryffindor."

Lily glowed with pride at these words.

"The spell for this is _Ridikkulus_," Storm continued. "Force the boggart into something amusing with the spell, and finish it off with laughter." Storm scrunched his nose at these words, as if he detested laughter with all his heart.

"I have a question," Sirius called out. "If the spell is ridiculous, why are we learning it?"

The class burst into laughter. Storm, however, glared at Sirius.

The laughter quickly subsided. "Mr. Black," Storm snapped, striding to Sirius's desk with a very angry look on his face. "Don't ever speak again without your hand raised. Five points from Gryffindor for your cheek."

Sirius shrugged and grinned at James, obviously not caring. Lily, however, had to use all her strength to stop from smacking Sirius right then and there for losing the points she had just earned for Gryffindor.

"Mr. Black, you may go first for that remark." Storm strode up to Sirius, leveling him with a glare. "Everyone stand up."

The class obeyed. With a flick of his wand, Storm made all the empty chairs push up against the walls so there was a huge space in the middle of the classroom.

Storm dragged up a very heavy-looking trunk and set it in front of Sirius.

"Mr. Black, when I open this trunk, a boggart will assume the shape of your worst fear." Storm smiled coldly. "Do your best to force it into something amusing. We'll see if you fail."

Sirius narrowed his eyes, but stayed silent. The rest of the class slowly backed away from Sirius. Storm stood behind the trunk, and Sirius stood still in front of the trunk, thinking hard. What was he most afraid of? He racked his brain for something, but before he could think of anything, Storm had already flung open the lid of the trunk.

And out of the trunk crawled a werewolf.

However, it wasn't just any regular werewolf. This werewolf had sandy hair. It was a bit smaller than a regular werewolf would be.

It was Remus.

It looked exactly like the Remus-wolf that James and Sirius had encountered right before Christmas. Only this time, it wasn't real…but it brought back to Sirius the memories that would haunt him forever…

The wolf lunged at Sirius and narrowly missed him. The rest of class was obviously scared, backing away and yelling. Sirius tried to steady his wand hand, but couldn't. This time he had a wand…James wouldn't be there to save his life…but could he hurt the werewolf that was a replica of his friend on the worst nights of his life?

Sirius looked frantically around the classroom. The girls screamed as the werewolf sent out a chilling howl. Finally, Sirius's eyes caught James's eyes. James was staring at Sirius, as if shocked. Sirius bit his lip and looked quickly away. Then, Sirius's eyes found Remus. Remus looked at Sirius for a fraction of a second, eyes filled with disbelief, and then looked away, edging slowly out of the door.

"Well?" Storm roared at Sirius. "ATTACK IT! FORCE IT INTO SOMETHING FUNNY! BRING IT DOWN! NOW! WHEN I WAS AN AUROR, I COULDN'T STAND THIS LONG WITHOUT THE WEREWOLF KILLING ME!"

Sirius heard his own shallow breathing, closed his eyes, and imagined the first thing that came to mind.

"_RIDIKKULUS_!" he yelled as the boggart-wolf lunged at him once again. The werewolf stopped dead in its track and started to dance ballet in front of the whole class, quite like the way that James had hexed Peter on the Hogwarts Express on the first day of school. Everyone in the classroom laughed heartily, except for Sirius, James, Peter and Remus.

Several people had a go with the boggart after Sirius, but neither James, Peter nor Sirius wanted to anymore. They retreated to the back of the classroom and watched with weary eyes as the rest of the class tackled the boggart. They all saw Remus lingering in the doorway, as if desperate to get out. Sirius desperately wanted class to be over. He didn't want Remus to get the wrong idea…

Finally, Storm shut the boggart back in the trunk. "You are dismissed," he said to the class, waving a hand.

Remus immediately ran out of the doorway at these words. Sirius also sprinted out the door as soon as he could after him.

"Remus, WAIT!" he yelled into the hallway. But it was too late. Remus was already lost among the crowd.

* * *

_Oh my God_, Remus thought to himself as he ran away from the classroom, clutching his books. He knew it was lunchtime, and he knew he was hungry, but he didn't care. All he could think about was Sirius and the boggart. The moment the boggart-werewolf had climbed out of that trunk, he recognized it.

Sirius was afraid of him. Sirius, who was brave beyond anybody he had every known except maybe James, was scared of him. And Remus didn't blame him. Remus knew he, a werewolf, was capable of murder. He was a monster. And his former friends knew it.

He bit his lip as he ascended the stairs to the common room. He gave the password to the Fat Lady and listlessly clambered into the portrait hole, still biting his lip. But the tears wouldn't be kept in his eyelids. Finally, they poured out, like an avalanche of snow. Remus set his books down on a couch and staggered over to the window, tears still streaming heavily down his face.

As he looked out into the school grounds, he could see the emerald grass bristling against the harsh wind. The leaves on the evergreens seemed cheerful, though they were frosted with ice. There wasn't much snow this year, but the iciness of the weather made up for it.

The sun shone down on the grounds. Remus could see Davey Gudgeon and his friends walking toward the Whomping Willow. It was a game that Davey and his friends used to play to see who could get closest to the tree, and today, they were obviously too bored to stay in the Great Hall for lunch.

Remus watched out the window as Davey ran toward the tree, laughing. He got pretty close to it, but then backed away from the tree as a branch swung dangerously close to his chest. One of Davey's friends next ran toward the tree, even closer than Davey. Remus could see him grinning triumphantly.

As if to challenge his friend, Davey sauntered up to the Whomping Willow. He looked so confident, but he didn't see the huge branch that was whipping its way toward his face. Remus watched in pure horror as the branch slowly smacked Davey across the face. Davey staggered. Remus let out a silent gasp as he saw one of Davey's eyeballs roll to the floor amid splatters of ruby blood flying through the air.

As if in slow motion, Remus watched his friend bravely pull him away from the grasps of the tree, and saw someone run inside the castle to get a teacher. A couple of minutes later, the whole school seemed to have followed Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall out the door toward the willow.

Remus watched the scene and felt his knees weaken. A new splurge of tears was making its way down his face. Finally, he collapsed on the ground, sobbing.

He knew that it was because of him that the willow was planted, and because of him Davey would never see out of the same eyes again, even if Madam Pomfrey restored it to the best of her ability. He knew that it was because of him that Sirius had almost met his death and now had to add werewolves to his list of fears. It was because of him that his friends had risked their lives to accompany him. It was because of him that Davey would never be able to commentate for the Quidditch games again like he used to, laugh with his friends and play the games he used to.

Remus felt sick. He felt as if he had ruined everyone's lives. He had hurt them.

Tears still pouring down his face, Remus made up his mind.

To keep everyone safe, he would leave Hogwarts.

* * *

"Is Davey going to be okay?" James asked Sirius.

"I don't know," Sirius replied honestly. "I hope so. The scene was pretty brutal. I'm hoping that Madam Pomfrey will be able to restore his eye."

"It would be horrible if she couldn't," Peter said quietly.

"Yeah," James agreed.

The three boys were walking up to their dormitories. All their classes were over, but nobody had stopped talking about Davey Gudgeon and his eye. To cap matters off, the Marauders hadn't seen Remus anywhere for their classes since Defense Against the Dark Arts. James was beginning to get seriously worried about his friend.

They gave the password to the Fat Lady, entered the common room, and went straight up to the dormitories to rest. As they reached their dormitory, they realized that the door was locked. However, they could hear various sounds from the other side of the door.

"Remus!" Sirius called. "Remus! Open the door, we know you're in there! Open up! I need to talk to you!" Sirius started banging on the door with his fists.

After a moment, the door opened to reveal a very angry-looking Remus Lupin. "There is absolutely nothing to talk about," Remus said acidly.

James noticed that Remus was dressed in a coat and dragging his trunk behind him. "Remus?" he asked cautiously. "Are you going somewhere? Summer vacation isn't for months."

"I know that," Remus snapped. "I quit. I'm leaving Hogwarts."

Peter, Sirius and James gaped at him.

Remus ignored them. He tried to push past them, but he couldn't. Instead, Sirius pushed Remus back into the dormitory room. James and Peter locked the door.

"Bloody hell, Sirius!" Remus exploded. "What's your problem? I'M LEAVING! Now let me go!"

Sirius pushed Remus further back into the dormitory room.

"DON'T PUSH ME!" Remus screamed, beside himself.

Sirius looked a bit shocked, and stepped back a bit.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH THESE PAST WEEKS?" Remus yelled. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH? I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU GUYS! I THOUGHT THAT YOU GUYS WERE DEAD ALL BECAUSE OF ME!"

Remus released his hold on his trunk. "I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ME! I DIDN'T BLOODY CARE, ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT IS HOW I HAD ALMOST KILLED MY FRIENDS! YOU GUYS ARE THE ONLY FRIENDS I'VE EVER HAD, AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONE!"

Suddenly, Remus stopped yelling and bit his lip. He closed his eyes. As he opened them again, James could see that Remus was trying to hold back his tears.

"Everything's my fault," Remus whispered. "I can't be here anymore. I can't change who I am. I almost killed you guys. Twice." Remus swallowed. "I can't risk that anymore."

He took a deep breath. "The moment that you guys walked into Lily's compartment on the train, you don't know what I went through. I was so happy that you guys were alive…I wanted to keep you that way.

"And today…" Remus paused. "I realized something. Because of me, Dumbledore planted the willow. It took Davey's eye out. And Sirius is afraid of me."

"Remus," Sirius started.

Remus cut him off. "You're afraid, Sirius. You know it. Don't deny it." Remus paused. "Well I'm not giving you that fear anymore. I'm leaving. You'll never have to worry about werewolves again."

"I'm not letting my stupidity run you out of this school, Remus," Sirius said quietly. "It was my fault that James and I even went to your house on a full moon…"

"But you went," Remus whispered. " and I almost killed both of you. And I'm letting you go through with the Animagi thing. What will that lead to? More chances for me to kill you. But I'm not going to do that anymore. I accept that I'm a monster. I'm leaving."

Remus flung open the door and started to walk out.

"You're right," Sirius said from behind Remus.

Remus paused in his steps.

"You're right," Sirius repeated. "I _am_ afraid. Just like you can't change the fact that you're a werewolf, I can't change the fact that I'm afraid. I'm scared to death."

Remus bit his lip.

"But the werewolf can be tamed," Sirius continued. "The werewolf can change with the help of his friends." He paused. "Don't leave us, Remus. Help me. Help me change. Help me see that I don't need to be so afraid."

Remus shook his head and started to walk again, eyes stinging.

"We're not going to abandon you, Remus," Sirius said quietly. "So please, don't abandon us. We're going to become Animagi for you, we're going to help you. Let us be there for you."

Remus stopped, silent tears creeping down his face. They really cared about him. Remus knew that they wouldn't be exerting this energy to make him stay if they didn't care. He realized that as scared as they were of the wolf, they were even more scared of the fact that he might indeed leave them.

Remus slowly turned around. James, Sirius and Peter's faces broke into identical beaming smiles. Remus smiled too, amid the oncoming tears.

"I'm feeling dehydrated," Remus laughed.

James, Sirius and Peter laughed too.

"Don't worry, Remus," James said quietly. "You're not alone. We're with you. We'll always be with you."

"Yeah," Sirius said, smiling. "Marauders forever."


	31. Almost There

A/N: I'm so sorry! My computer crashed, and with the California wildfire and everything, our entire town was in a bit of a haze. I finally got it fixed yesterday, and I'm now typing away on it. I really apologize guys, and I'm definitely not abandoning this story.

This chapter is rather short, and it's kind of just here to move the story along. I promise next chapter will be better! By the way, 150 reviews! Thank you guys so much! I'm crying of happiness!

emmys: I'm planning a really long story, probably somewhere around one hundred chapters. People have asked me if I was going to break it up into two stories. The answer is no. It would just take up space on the servers, and since it really is just one story, I'll keep it this way.

Camilinha: Next chapter, I'll have some romance for Remus :)

Paige : Yes, I realize that Lily is a bit scary at this point, but I wanted to demonstrate her stubborness and her temper, as it will play a part later on in the story.

redcrushedvelvet: Just a personal thank you for your dedication and support :)

Thanks to all the readers and reviewers! Thanks to Paige, Camilinha, redcrushedvelvet (again, twice!), emmys, ellieo, DSK, Kates Master, and all the readers as well! I really appreciate your support.

* * *

_Februrary - June, 1974_

* * *

Almost There

"Are you nervous?" James asked.

Amber smiled up at him. "To put it mildly, yes."

James smiled back. "Don't be. I myself was a nervous wreck during the first Quidditch final I played."

"You? Nervous?"

James laughed. "I know. Hard to believe, isn't it?"

Amber thought for a bit. "Yeah," she finally grinned.

"You'll be fine," James said reassuringly. "After all, that year we won the cup. Plus, I really think you're a great Chaser."

Amber laughed nervously. "I felt so mediocre when practice first began. I saw how you flew last year, and I was terrified to have to fill your shoes."

"Yeah, I was pretty good, wasn't I?" James grinned, running his hands through his hair.

Amber laughed, amused. "Definitely."

"Honestly though, I think that we picked a wonderful chaser."

"That's more comforting." Amber's brown eyes sparkled. "Thanks, James."

"No problem."

"Alright team, gather up!" Eri yelled. The Gryffindor team, now clad in red and gold, turned to face her.

Eri had an excited look on her face. "This is it, guys. This is the game for the Quidditch cup. I can honestly say I think we have the best team in the entire school." She beamed with pride around the room. "So this is it. Nervous?"

"Yeah," Amber, Daniel and Michael chorused.

Eri laughed. "I expected you guys to be, being new to the team and all. But don't worry. You guys are a solid part of our team. After all, two new people are coming in next year to replace Liam and I."

James tried hard to keep the smile on his face. It hurt him to think about two new team members. Liam and Eri had been his closest teammates on the Quidditch team, and he didn't think anyone could ever replace them.

Eri smiled sadly at the look on James's face. "I'll miss you too."

James sighed. "Yeah. Definitely."

There was a small moment of silence.

"So!" Liam said, grinning. "Who wants to win a Quidditch Cup?"

The team cheered loudly and flew out onto the field, one after another. James, still saddened by Eri's words, knew he had to get a grip. His whole team was counting on him to catch the Snitch. He looked into the stands and saw his familiar face winking at him from the Gryffindor section, the poster upheld by Remus and Peter, both of whom were cheering and waving frantically at him. Laughing, James went to his position in the sky and waited for Madam Frish to release the Snitch.

Ravenclaw looked determined, but James didn't falter. He wanted to win so bad this year, especially after a disappointing loss last year. It was like a rematch, and he wanted the Cup more than he wanted anything at the moment.

"Captains, shake hands," Madam Frish instructed. The Seeker from Ravenclaw, a skinny sixth year named Edgar Bones, shook hands with Eri.

Madam Frish let go of the Snitch. It beat its wings and flew off, sparking into the distance. Then, Madam Frish released the Quaffle. Liam snatched it right away as James flew high into the air.

"AND THEY'RE OFF!" the commentator shouted. James stopped dead in his tracks, wondering why the voice that was being magnified sounded so familiar. As he looked down into the podium, his jaw dropped. Sirius was beaming into the microphone.

"Tiernan takes the Quaffle! Oh, what a beautiful girl that is, I wonder if she would go to Hogsmeade with me – "

"Black!" Professor McGonagall yelled from beside him. "This is not a dating advertisement!"

"Right you are, professor! I was just complimenting the lovely batch of Gryffindor girls chosen to play Quidditch this year. But seriously, I'm wondering if Eri would go out with me – and she scores! TEN-ZERO TO GRYFFINDOR!"

Professor McGonagall looked on the verge of turning Sirius into a rock right then and there. James, elated that his team had scored, looked over at Eri. She was smiling and blushing furiously at the same time. James laughed, then spiraled higher into the sky in pursuit of the snitch.

It was a close game all the way through. The Ravenclaw Chasers improved a great deal since last year, and James was surprised at the amount of goals they scored. Perry, still incompetent on the easy saves, looked rather embarrassed in front of the Gryffindor hoops.

However, the Gryffindor Chasers were no slouches either. They scored many times as well. "GRYFFINDOR SCORES AGAIN!" Sirius shouted, doing a dance on the stands after Liam threw the ball into the hoop.

The Ravenclaw Seeker, Edgar Bones, was tailing James. James, realizing this, tried to shake him off, but Edgar remained glued to James as he flew around. A bit irritated, James signaled for Michael and Daniel to whack a couple of Bludgers at him. James was an expert at dodging Bludgers, and flew quickly out of the way as the Bludgers pelted toward him. Edgar, however, wasn't that lucky. A Bludger caught him right in the stomach, and he doubled over, heading for the ground. Satisfied, James returned to looking for the snitch. Edgar since then stayed away from James.

"…I still don't have a date for next Hogsmeade weekend, girls, so –"

"BLACK! FOCUS ON THE GAME!"

"Alright, professor, keep your hat on! By the way, it's a really lovely green color…"

"I'M WARNING YOU!"

"Alright, alright! OH! Ravenclaw scores." The Gryffindors groaned amid cheers from the blue-clad supporters. Sirius swore into the microphone, and James heard struggles in the podium of McGonagall trying to yank the microphone away from Sirius.

"Sorry professor! Won't happen again, I swear!"

"Never, in all my years of teaching…"

Loud cheers from the Gryffindor supporters drowned her words out. "Gryffindor SCORES!" Sirius yelled jubilantly. "THE SCORE IS TIED, 120 TO 120!"

James, still circling the air, saw a glimmer of light to his right. Heart pounding with excitement, he flew toward the snitch that was flying ahead of him. Lowering himself on his broomstick, he pelted faster and faster toward the snitch…

WHAM. A Bludger had suddenly hit him in the tail of the broomstick. He spun off course, dizzy and out of control. This time, he couldn't make a miraculous catch in the air. The snitch was nowhere near him. He could hear Sirius yelling blow him, and knew that he had to pull himself together. A couple of feet from the ground, he gripped his broomstick tightly and zoomed back up into the air. Sirius was now yelling words of encouragement and the Gryffindor stands were ringing with cheers.

"WHOO! Go James, go James," Sirius was chanting.

As his eyes scanned the sky, James felt his heart drop. Edgar Bones was speeding toward the snitch, beaming. James knew he had no chance of catching up, but he had to try. He wheeled his broomstick around in midair, and sped toward the snitch, which seemed miles away.

"Come on," he urged his broomstick. Head bent in concentration, he saw himself catch up slowly but surely with Edgar.

Edgar's hands reached out to the snitch, and James's heart stopped again. Edgar was going to catch the snitch! What was he going to do?

Before he could conjure up a plan, he heard a yell from in front of him. A Bludger had sharply found its way right in front of Edgar, so he was forced to fly out of the way. James flattened himself on his broomstick, and trying to balance himself without falling off, reached his hand out for the snitch…and felt the golden ball in the palm of his hand, the wind still whistling in his face.

"YES!" he yelled, beaming and holding the snitch into the air. The Gryffindor stands exploded with cheers, and Sirius was shouting, "Potter rocks your socks" at the top of his lungs. James descended to the ground, and was instantly mobbed by the rest of his team. Amber was actually crying with happiness. Eri was beaming as she congratulated James on the superb catch. Soon, a mass of gold and red swarmed onto the field and lifted the whole team up into the air. James saw Remus and Peter jumping up and down, apparently abandoning the poster in their excitement. He saw McGonagall cheering in the commentator's podium, all thoughts of telling Sirius off forgotten.

And as he looked into the crowd, he saw Lily, who was hesitantly smiling her rare smile at him, even if it was just a little smile.

And he felt his world was complete.

* * *

"Party!" Sirius yelled, smacking James on the shoulder. "Nice catch, by the way."

The mob of Gryffindors, all of whom were chattering excitedly, were all heading up to the common room for a party. Nearly everyone had congratulated James and the rest of the team on winning the Cup, even Lily, who was dragged up by Marcella, looking a bit sullen.

"Thanks," James grinned. "But how come you never told me that you were going to commentate?"

"He wanted to keep it a surprise," Remus spoke up, laughing. He and Peter had caught up to James and Sirius. "And by the look on your face when you first hear him announce, I'd say you definitely were surprised."

"My face is that obvious from the sky?" James asked.

Remus pointed at his binoculars, which hung around his neck. "I had a little help."

James laughed. "Yeah."

"That was such a good game!" Peter squeaked excitedly. "You were great, James."

"Yeah, I was, wasn't I?"

Remus laughed. "Just this one day, we'll let your ego inflate to the maximum."

James grinned. "Thanks, Remus." He turned to Sirius. "So, is McGonagall going to let you commentate again?"

Sirius shrugged easily. "Probably not."

"Why not?" James asked, laughing.

"She said I was a bit too…different for the job."

"Were those her exact words?" Remus asked, amused.

"Well, no, she said I would make a great commentator on Witch Weekly or something like that, and that Quidditch is not meant to be taken as a dating ad."

Peter laughed. "Did you get into a lot of trouble?"

"Why would I?" Sirius asked innocently. "All I did was do a great commentary concerning the welfare and fairness of play of Quidditch and the teams…"

James, Remus and Peter snorted.

The group of rowdy Gryffindors made their way up to the common room eventually, where a hearty party started. Sirius and Remus sneaked down to the kitchens at a maximum speed for food while James and Peter made their way to Hogsmeade for butterbeer and candy. The common room, just like last party, was a central point for eating and talking.

"This is fun," James commented to Remus.

Remus laughed, taking a sip of his butterbeer. "It seems like every time there's a party, Sirius always manages to find new ways of flirting. He glanced over at Sirius, who was beaming his charming smile at the crowd of girls around him.

James laughed as well. "Well, it's Sirius. What do you expect?"

"Well, he's not the only one capable of charming half the girls in the school," Remus said, eyeing James.

"Me?" James asked.

"Yeah," Remus shrugged. "You could probably get any girl you want."

"Except Lily," James sighed. "And to me, that's the only girl that matters."

Remus's mouth twitched. "James, I really see how much Lily means to you."

"Do you?" James said, looking at Remus. "Or do you think that it's all a hopeless case, just like Sirius and Peter do?"

Remus sighed. "James, I don't think it's hopeless. It's not impossible. But maybe…"

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe you need to date other girls for a while. Maybe you need to branch out. Maybe, after a couple of dates, you'll realize that Lily isn't right for you. Or maybe those dates can confirm your so-called love for her." Remus took another sip of his butterbeer. "Not that you really know anything about her, but that's beside the point. Experience, mate. Maybe you'll find someone else."

James remained silent, deep in thought. Maybe Remus was right. Maybe he did need to get over Lily. He couldn't spend all his time waiting for her to realize that they were meant to be.

Maybe, just maybe, they didn't belong together after all.

* * *

The exams were rapidly approaching. The Marauders handled their study habits just like any other year. James and Sirius slacked off, only helping Peter when he needed help. Remus could been seen in the library for countless hours with Lily and Marcella, occasionally with Peter joining them. James and Sirius took this chance as a newfound liberty. Since most of the Prefects and Heads were studying, they often went out under the cloak at night to do some adventuring. They calculated that so far, they had found four secret passages out of the castle. They were sure Filch knew about two of them, but the other two were open for exploration and a little excitement when they felt their life was too dull.

There was one last Hogsmeade trip right before the exams. James and Sirius couldn't move in the corridors without a bunch of clamoring girls chattering away and dropping hints about how much they'd love to go out with Hogwarts' two most handsome eligible bachelors. James thought about asking Lily out again, but Remus told James that she was going with someone else. Remus was highly relieved by this. He didn't think James could stand another traumatizing rejection.

So the weekend came and passed. Sirius, though burdened with offers for dates, chose to go with the rest of the Marauders. Remus thought seriously about asking Faye Taten, the Ravenclaw that he had a crush on, to the Hogsmeade trip, but even with the encouragement of his friends, he was too shy. James offered to ask for his friends, but Remus instantly shot down that idea, thinking it quite impersonal.

The exams eventually came. James and Sirius easily came out of every class beaming. As usual, Peter moaned about having failed everything, and Remus kept diving into his notes to check an answer that he had marked. Peter, during Transfiguration, had somehow managed to transfigure his guinea fowl not into a guinea pig, but into an emu.

"Well that didn't go so bad," James beamed as he walked out of the Transfiguration classroom.

"Speak for yourself," Peter moaned.

"Thank God the exams are over," Sirius said, patting Peter on the back. "We can relax now. Or rather, you guys can relax." He grinned at Remus and Peter.

"Not quite," Remus sighed. "I still have Arithmancy."

"There's a price for being smart," James laughed.

"You and Sirius and plenty smart," Peter said.

"True," Sirius shrugged. "We just don't, er, apply ourselves."

James and Peter laughed. Remus, however, looked stern.

"You should," he said, frowning. "If you guys didn't use all your time fooling around, you could be made a Prefect or something."

Sirius and James stared at Remus, then stared at each other, then burst into laughter. "Remus," James said between gasps. "Are you serious?"

"We would never in a million years be made Prefects," Sirius said, clutching his stomach in laughter.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Fine. Don't come crying to me when you can't find jobs, or when you later regret that you're just wasting your time in school."

"I don't need to find a job," James grinned. "I'm going to be a Quidditch player."

"James, Quidditch teams are very hard to get into," Remus said practically. "Only the elite get accepted."

"I'm good enough," James shrugged.

"He's got a point," Sirius grinned.

"Yeah, if we ignore his ego," Peter said.

Remus sighed in exasperation.

"Oh, don't worry about us, Remus," James said, running his hand through his hair as a group of girls passed by. "We'll be fine. Where are we headed, anyway?"

The Marauders were heading back up to the common room to take a rest and celebrate the near end of the exams, but they found themselves in the corridor with the Room of Requirement. "How did we get here?" Peter laughed.

"No idea," Sirius said, amused. "Isn't that something, though?"

"Let's go in," James said.

"Why?" Remus asked.

"You have a full moon this month right before we leave for the vacation," James said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "And I really, really want to get transformations down this year. It's our fourth year, for heaven's sake, and we're pretty close."

"Okay," Remus shrugged. "I guess I can study for Arithmancy later."

Sirius and Peter cheered. Remus grinned and started pacing in front of the corridor. After the third time, just like all the other times they've sneaked into that corridor at night, the door appeared. Remus threw it open. The room, as the Marauders stepped inside, looked exactly as they had left it the last time they practiced.

"I love this place," James beamed.

Remus removed the parchment from the wall. They had gone through every single book there was on Animagi transformations, and came up with the common steps as there were so many of them. Now all they had to do was test it, as they ran out of time the last time they were here.

"I'm going first," James said. He sprang to the middle of the room looking incredibly excited. Remus levitated the parchment in front of James, and James, after reading the steps, closed his eyes to concentrate better. He felt the familiar tingling sensation, and opened his eyes. "Anything?"

Remus shook his head. "Nope."

James sighed, and ran his hand through his hair. He felt an odd sensation on his hand while doing that, and brought his hand down to inspect it. He gasped in awe. "Look, guys!"

His hand was covered in a matted brown fur, resembling that of animals with rather smooth fur, like a deer.

Sirius was beaming. "Well done, mate!"

"Wow!" Peter gasped.

"That's why I couldn't see it from far away," Remus mused. "You skin, though it has fur, is still pretty much the same color, plus the fur is short." He beamed. "We're almost there."

"I want to try," Sirius said.

"Okay," Remus nodded, and levitated the parchment in front of Sirius. Sirius closed his eyes and concentrated. James watched in awe as his friend's hands became coated with a shaggy, black fur. Along with that, Sirius's eyebrows also became incredibly furry.

Sirius opened his eyes, looking excited. "Did something happen?"

James pulled out his portion of the two-way mirror Remus had given them and thrust it into Sirius's hands. Sirius jumped with glee.

Remus laughed. "That's absolutely wonderful. Peter, give it a try."

Peter stepped into the middle of the room as Remus levitated the parchment. A moment later, he opened his eyes, glancing around the room expectantly.

"Nope," Remus said.

Peter hung his head, apparently ashamed.

"Don't worry about it," James said, walking over to sling an arm around his friend. "Did you feel a tingling sensation?"

"Yes," Peter said.

"Well then no worries!" Sirius said, grinning. "You're definitely on the right track." Sirius turned to Remus. "Speaking of right track, these steps we're doing, they are right, aren't they?"

"I suppose so," Remus said hesitantly. "We've been through every single Animagus book right in this room. Maybe we just haven't practiced enough to be able to do it properly."

"That's probably the reason," James agreed. "We wouldn't have been able to do it just in one try."

"Definitely," Sirius agreed. "I'm pretty sure our steps are right. All we have to do is practice more, then we've got it."

"Next year," James said. "Next year is our year. No matter what, we're going to get this thing down next year."

Peter nodded. "Of course."

Remus beamed.

"I sure hope that our steps are right…those Animagus books are really boring the hell out of me," Sirius muttered to James.

James snickered.

"We're done for today," Remus said, pinning the parchment back up on the wall. "Let's go back to the common room. I have to study for Arithmancy."

"Uh," Sirius said hesitantly. "One thing, Remus."

"What?"

Sirius held up his hands. "How do you get rid of my black fur?"

* * *

The End-Of-Year feast was a very enjoyable experience for the Gryffindors. The Great Hall was decorated with gold and red for the fourth year in a row. The Quidditch win of the Cup was enough to completely destroy the other houses chances for the House Cup. Snape was looking very sulky about this, and the Marauders therefore took this opportunity to rub it in his face.

They found old Snivellus in the hallway and changed the color of his hair and his skin, so now he had bright red skin and oddly golden hair. The Marauders had a mighty good laugh about that, until they found out the Professor McGonagall had been watching them with narrowed eyes.

"Never, never in a million years have I seen a student get into trouble on the last day of school!" she screeched in the hallway. Dragging them into her office, she gave them all detention for next year.

James and Sirius thought it was a very funny exprerience. Remus laughed with them, thinking he might as well be carefree for the last day of school. Peter wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry.

Soon, the Marauders were dragging their luggage for what seemed like the millionth time toward the Hogwarts Express that was waiting to take them home for the summer.

"Bye, Lily!" James shouted as Lily boarded the train. Lily glared at him, then followed Marcella down the corridor.

"Still haven't given up on Evans?" Sirius asked, walking up to James.

"Should I?" James asked softly.

Sirius sighed. "That girl's got you twisted around her little finger, and you guys don't even know each other." He paused. "Give it some time. In the meantime, date other girls. Who knows? Maybe Lily isn't the one for you. Maybe there's someone better."

James thought for a moment, then grinned. "Maybe you're right. But you're beginning to sound like Remus."

Sirius laughed. "I know. He told me to say this to you."

James rolled his eyes. "Prat."

Sirius grinned cheekily. "You know it."

They got on the train and found Remus and Peter in their usual compartment.

Peter sighed. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm kind of glad this school year's over.

"Why?" James asked, startled. "Is your dad nice to you now?"

"Nope," Peter said, shaking his head. "Well, no offense Sirius, but with Bellatrix around..."

Sirius laughed. "I see your point. Remember when I tripped her in the hallway? She gave me a month's worth of detention."

"And that's without Snivelly tailing us, trying to get us in trouble and report it back to her," Remus laughed.

"Well, dear Bellatrix shall be gone next year, meaning we'll have full freedom next year," Sirius grinned. "How I look forward to fifth year!"

After games of Exploding Snap and hours of talking about the highlights of the school year, the train arrived in the London station. Sirius reluctantly got off the train, completely hating the fact that he was going to see his family again. He saw Regulus walk up to his parents with none other than Snape to introduce them. Sirius growled and thought about hexing Snivellus right then and there for having anything to do with his family, but restrained himself, thinking how horrible it would be if he was expelled fron Hogwarts.

"Have you seen anything so greasy?" James said, grinning as he walked up to James.

Sirius offered a small smile.

James looked at Sirius, smiling sadly. "Come over anytime, alright?"

"Yeah," Sirius said shortly.

"We're not going to go visit Remus again on full moon."

Sirius laughed. "Got it."

"You sure you're going to be okay?"

Sirius looked at his friend. "Yeah."

"Okay." James smiled one last time at his friend, then went to go to his parents, where Remus and Peter were assembled. As Sirius looked up at them, they all waved at him, and he felt that as long as his friends were beside him, he could go on, no matter what life threw at him.


	32. Faye

I truly apologize for the delay! In order to get this chapter up ASAP, I didn't edit it, meaning it should be a bit longer, but I will edit it when I find the time. Tenth grade is swallowing me whole.

Anyway, this chapter is the beginning of some romance for Remus. God knows he deserves it, poor guy! It's not a long chapter, but compared to my earlier chapters (which I laughed at when I reread them) it's gimongous. So enjoy, and I had a lot of fun writing this one.

Once again thanks to all my readers and reviewers, you keep the spirit alive. Thanks to redcrushedvelvet (twice! I love you! And I spent three hours straight on this chapter to get it up for you, my dedicated reader), gentleness28, ellieo, emmys (James, dear boy, will date other people before Lily, just not right now, because you're right, I don't think he waited 7 years for Lily either), DSK, and Kates Master (Sirius commenting was soooo much fun to write!) You. Guys. Rock!

* * *

_July-September, 1974_

* * *

Faye

**Dear Sirius, James and Peter,**

**I hope your summer vacations are going well. Mine is going okay. I'm just writing to tell you that I received my letter today, and I've been made a Prefect. Now before you start, I'm actually very happy about this. But don't think you can use this as an excuse to get out of trouble, because Dumbledore picked me for a reason. I have a duty to attend to.**

**And now you have full permission to laugh.**

**Remus**

Sirius smiled as he read the letter. Wonderful! A part of him knew that Remus was going to get the Prefect badge. Who else was there? James? Peter? Himself?

With that last thought, Sirius laughed out loud. It was preposterous.

Still grinning, Sirius looked at the letter again. Remus was trying to be serious, but Sirius knew that Remus was excited. And Sirius was proud of his friend.

He paced around his room some more, rereading the letter over and over again. It was nice to have some sort of view into the lives of his friends, as he was stuck in his room most of the time. He had gone to visit James only once during the vacation, because his family had annoyingly started to come up to his room just to sneer at his misery.

Suddenly, his door burst open to reveal his father, who was glaring at Sirius, eyes narrowed.

Sirius glared right back, feeling the smile slide off his face. "What the hell do you want?"

"Silence," Mr. Black said coldly.

Sirius ground his teeth in frustration, but refrained from saying anything.

"It's dinner time. Come down to the dining room. Now." Mr. Black's malicious eyes glittered menacingly.

"No," Sirius snapped. "I'm in the middle of something."

"Now," Mr. Black said again. "Or else." His wand, held aloft beside him, crackled and lit up.

Sirius debated whether or not he should punch his father. Eventually, his growling stomach won over.

"Fine," he said darkly.

His father swept out of the doorway and Sirius followed him down the stairs, a bit puzzled. Usually, his family wouldn't invite him to dinner. Instead, he picked the lock to the kitchen door and stole food in the middle of the night. It was a neat thing he learned from James.

He made himself drag his feet into the dining room, where, by the looks of it, his whole family was assembled, including Narcissa and Lucius, who were holding hands. It was like a Christmas reunion, almost. Bellatrix shot Sirius a cold look as he sat himself down. The only one who was not there was Andromeda, and since Sirius witnessed her escape from the holds of this family, he wasn't exactly wondering why.

Kreacher the house elf was now getting pretty old. However, he still served up the huge plates of food and bowed to everyone at the table ending with a reluctant bow and mutterings for Sirius. This did not help Sirius's dark mood.

"So, Narcissa," Aunt Elladora beamed, "I heard that you and Lucius here are getting married."

Narcissa let out a small smile and flung back her hair, all the while squeezing Lucius's hand. "Yes, yes we are."

Lucius also let out a rare smile. "Yes, Cissy and I love each other so much."

Narcissa let out a giggle quite unlike her, and flashed her pale, bony hand, upon which sat a rather large-looking diamond ring.

"Only the best for Narcissa," Lucius said.

The whole table clapped except for Sirius, who mimicked throwing up into his napkin. Bellatrix caught this and kicked Sirius so hard in the knee that he had to work to hold back a gasp of pain. He cursed under his breath and vowed to get Bellatrix back later.

"He proposed to me on this antique ship that his father owned," Narcissa droned on, smirking. "It was wonderful."

"Best goblin's diamond I could find," Lucius said. "After all, Cissy does deserve the world."

Narcissa giggled again and squeezed Lucius's hand tighter. Sirius rolled his eyes. He now knew the reason that his parents had wanted him to come to dinner, to drill into his head that he was to marry a pureblood, no matter what. Sirius ground his teeth. He would kill himself before he became anything like these two gold-crazy purebloods.

"He's so sweet," Narcissa said.

Sirius closed his eyes in disgust.

"When's the wedding?" Aunt Elladora barked. Sirius opened his eyes.

"Well," Narcissa said sweetly. "We haven't decided yet."

Sirius dug into a chicken wing loudly, disturbing the peace, gnashing the meat with his teeth. He then wiped his mouth on the tablecloth. The family looked at him in disgust, and he just shrugged and went back to slobbering over the food.

"It's going to be big, that's for sure, and the whole family is invited," Narcissa continued." Well, actually, not the whole family." Here, Narcissa shot Sirius a very nasty look with resentment and disgust.

Sirius wiped his mouth on the tablecloth again and turned to face her. "Oh, don't worry about me, Narcissa," Sirius said, mimicking his cousin's sweet tone sarcastically. "I wouldn't go even if you put the imperius curse on me."

Bellatrix made a threatening noise.

Sirius smiled winningly at her. "Are you choking, dear Bella?"

"One of these days, cousin..." Bellatrix snarled.

"By the way," Sirius asked innocently, ignoring her. "Where's Andromeda?"

Sirius expected an uproar at that comment, but nothing even near what actually happened. Aunt Elladora stood up abruptly, knocked her chair over, and advanced on Sirius, face beet-red. Her fists were shaking.

"DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT FILTHY BLOOD TRAITOR IN FRONT OF US!" she roared, clasping her grubby hands around Sirius's neck. For a moment, Sirius was unable to breathe, and he choked out a gasp. Then, the hands around his throat loosened. Mr. Black was grudgingly prying Aunt Elladora off of Sirius. Wheezing, Sirius glanced and saw Bellatrix smirking with satisfaction.

Aunt Elladora was now standing beside Sirius, eyes popping.

"And why is Andromeda such a blood traitor?" Sirius asked, once again trying to look innocent.

Aunt Elladora let out a roar that shook the house. "FILTHY SCUM!" she shrieked at the top of her lungs. "SHE WENT AND MARRIED THAT – THAT – MUGGLE! AND NOW, SHE GAVE BIRTH TO A CHILD!"

Everyone around the table gasped except for Bellatrix and Narcissa, who obviously knew of their sister's fate beforehand.

"A muggle?" Mrs. Black asked in disbelief. "Why, Elladora, that's horrible!"

"I can't believe she was a part of our family," Narcissa said coldly, shaking her head. Lucius simply nodded his head in sympathy.

"How could she?" Mr. Black rumbled. "Desert her family, muddle our name…"

"Disgrace," Bellatrix spat.

"A BABY GIRL!" Elladora continued, beside herself with madness. "A BABY GIRL, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, WHOSE MUDDLED BLOOD RUNS IN OUR FAMILY!"

A new chorus of gasps surfaced around the table.

"SHE HAD THE NERVE TO TELL ME THIS, EVEN WRITE TO ME AFTER SHE LEFT US AND MARRIED THAT...THAT THING!" With a resounding yell, she let out an ear-piercing roar and knocked her fist down onto the table, sending the plates an inch into the air to crash back down again.

"Now, Elladora," Mrs. Black began.

"She's no longer a part of this family. From the day she walked out of here, she was no longer a Black," Aunt Elladora seethed.

Mr. Black stood up and helped the red-faced, angry woman back to her seat, all the while trying to calm her down, but muttering nasty words about Andromeda under his breath.

Sirius, even in the tense atmosphere amidst all the yelling, smiled to himself, knowing that somewhere, Andromeda was happily married, with an escape from her mad family and a way out of this twisted home.

Sirius had never felt so jealous.

* * *

The end of the summer was a relief on all levels for Sirius. Ever since that dinner, the house of Black had been tenser than ever. On the car ride to the station, Sirius's parents made sure to talk and chat with Regulus while completely ignoring Sirius. By now, this didn't at all bother Sirius. In fact, he liked his family better when they were ignoring him.

Sirius dragged his trunk out of the car with no help from his parents. He rolled it onto the station with a huge sense of relief. He could hear his parents wishing Regulus a goodbye behind him, and walked faster to get onto the Hogwarts express. The sooner he could make it on there, the sooner he would see his friends.

After making sure no one was around the barrier, he walked straight through the solid wall and onto the platform he knew so well. As soon as he stepped through the barrier, he saw Peter waving enthusiastically at him.

"Sirius!" Peter squeaked.

Sirius beamed at his friend. "Peter. How was your summer?"

"Same old," Peter shrugged. "Nothing new with me. Dad was as moody as ever, and mum was as cheerful as ever."

"Good for you," Sirius said.

"How was yours?" Peter asked.

"My cousin Andromeda had a baby," Sirius said, and couldn't help smiling.

"Really?" Peter gasped, clasping his hands together. "That's great!"

Sirius laughed. "Well, my thoughts exactly."

"But your parents weren't too happy?" Peter asked sympathetically.

"Not happy at all," Sirius shrugged. "But that's okay. Andromeda's with the muggle man she loves, and now she has a bouncing baby girl to add to that load." He laughed. "What a lucky witch. I'm so happy for her."

Peter laughed as well.

"What do you say to getting on the train?" Sirius grinned. "If we chat out here any longer we'll miss it."

Peter grinned back. "Good plan."

Sirius helped Peter haul his luggage onto the train. They went down to their usual compartment, where they stowed the luggage and sat down. Soon, James and Remus came in, laughing about something.

"Sirius! Peter!" James beamed, walking into the compartment and sitting down after he and Remus stowed their luggage. He ran his hands through his hair. "How was your summer?"

"You first," Sirius offered.

Peter shrugged. "Same old, same old. It actually was quite boring. I think the highlight of the summer was when we all went over to James's house and played Quidditch."

"Yep," James grinned. "It was the highlight of my summer."

Remus laughed. "Yeah, that was definitely fun. It's the one thing that Sirius is horrible at."

Sirius scowled. "I'm not that bad, am I?"

James choked back a laugh. "You fell off your broom six times."

"It was five," Sirius said defensively.

Remus laughed. "Well, five, then."

"And I only crashed into a tree once," Sirius said proudly.

"It's a world record," James laughed.

"I hope it didn't permanently damage your brain," Remus said, mouth twitching. "Or the little you have left."

"Nope," Sirius laughed. "Non-existent brain still intact."

Peter grinned. "At least you didn't crash to the ground. I think I still have a bump on my head. My mom wouldn't use magic to fix it. Instead, she insisted on putting ice."

"To make you freeze to death?" Sirius asked.

They all laughed. "You are so clueless sometimes," Remus said, hitting Sirius lightly on the head.

Sirius grinned cheekily. "You know it."

"When's your first full moon, Remus?" James asked.

"The end of September," Remus said promptly. He always memorized the lunar calendar.

"Do you think we'll be able to get Animagi tranformations down before then?" Peter asked anxiously.

"Sh! Not so loud," Remus whispered.

"Depends, Peter," James said thoughtfully. "I can feel it. This is definitely our year."

"We say that every year," Sirius grinned.

"I know, but I can feel it," James said defensively.

Sirius let out a sigh of exasperation. "Whatever you say."

"Remus, are you going to stand the whole train ride?" Peter asked, interrupting their conversation. "Are you going to sit down?"

Remus rolled his eyes. He was still standing in the doorway. "Absolutely not. The thing is, I'm a Prefect now, and pretty soon, I have to go down to the front of the train to meet with the other Prefects." He pointed to the shiny Gryffindor badge that was attached to the front of his robes.

"Oh yeah," James said, a smile curling onto his lips. "Our new commander."

Sirius grinned mischievously at his friend. "Aw, our little Remus is growing up, and he's an ickle Prefect now!"

Remus scowled good-naturedly. "Oh, shut up, Sirius."

"You can get us out of trouble this year," James grinned. "How great is that?"

Remus sighed. "Like I said in the letter, I'm not going to use this position to get you guys out of trouble. I'm taking my job very seriously, you know. Dumbledore's counting on me."

"Remus," Sirius started.

"No, Sirius," Remus said firmly. "I really need to be responsible this year."

"He's in denial," James grinned to Sirius and Peter.

"Come on, Remus," Sirius laughed. "We know you better than to believe that."

Remus glanced at his watch. "I'm going to be late if I don't get out of here." He backed out into the corridor, then stuck his head in the compartment. "I'll be back later! Save some snacks from the food cart for me, you chowhounds!" Ducking back out, Remus walked down the corridor and out of sight.

Peter sat in the compartment with a slightly mollified look.

"What's wrong?" James asked.

Peter shook his head.

"Peter," Sirius said. "Out with it."

Peter sighed. "Do you really think Remus is going to be any different this year? You know, because of the whole Prefect thing?"

James and Sirius looked at each other. "Nope," Sirius finally said, slouching back onto his seat. "It'll be the same old Remus."

"How do you know that?" Peter asked.

James shrugged. "It's Remus. Every year he's always like our second mother, pestering us to do things the right way. He always talks about being more responsible and being nicer and all that. It's the mark of a good friend, and the strength of a good person."

"But," Peter started.

"But when the time comes, he always puts friends before his responsibilities," Sirius continued. "We all know Remus well enough to know that he would never abandon us, especially in our time of need."

"You know he would do anything for us," James said confidently. "Believe us, Peter. He wouldn't turn his back on his friends." He paused. "Marauders forever, isn't that our pact?"

Peter nodded. "Marauders forever," he echoed.

"Exactly," James said.

Sirius grinned. "That's right. Friends forever."

* * *

Remus made his way down to the front of the train, both nervous and excited. He knew he wasn't going to be alone. He had written to Lily over the summer, and therefore knew that she was going to be a Prefect as well.

He thought about what Sirius and James said back in the compartment, and he sighed, knowing that even if it meant breaking the school rules into a thousand pieces, he would always stick by his friends.

They had that strong of a hold on him, and even with his new duties, he definitely wasn't regretting it.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, he made his way to the front few compartments. He shook his head, wondering why the Marauders always chose a seat near the back of the train.

In the very front of the train was a huge compartment that looked approximately the size of three compartments. Instead of having comfortable squishy seats that faced each other, the seats were arranged in six rows with a space at the front. It was rather like sitting in an auditorium. All the seats faced the same way.

Almost everybody had already assembled. Lily was sitting in the first row, and she waved to Remus as he came in the doorway. She was sitting next to a Gryffindor seventh year. Remus recognized him as a new boyfriend as they were holding hands. He made a mental note to tell James not to try and ask Lily out the coming Hogsmeade weekend.

Then he saw something that lit a fire in his body. Snape was sitting in the row behind Lily, smirking and polishing his Prefect badge. Remus felt his jaw drop. Snape? Snivellus? He shook his head, wondering how on earth Dumbledore could choose Snape, of all people, to be a Prefect. He shook his head lightly, still trying to digest that piece of information. He saw Snape glancing at Lily and her boyfriend with a look of pure loathing.

He looked around the mega-compartment, still shaking his head. There were only a few seats left that were open. As he looked to the fifth row of seats, his heart skipped a beat. Sitting next to an empty seat was the pretty Ravenclaw Chaser that he had had a crush on the previous year. Her hair had grown out over the summer, and now the light brown gently cascaded over her shoulder.

Remus's heart caught in his throat, and he forgot all about Snape. Taking a deep breath, he headed over to the fifth row, trying to calm his nerved. It seemed like forever, but finally, he came up to her. His legs felt weak just by being in her prescence. "Hi," Remus said feebly, trying to keep his voice from breaking with nervousness. "Is this seat taken?"

She turned around and looked him in the eye, then smiled. "Nope. Make yourself at home."

"Thanks," Remus breathed, still not taking his eyes off her eyes. They were a clear, sparkling blue that lit up with life as she smiled.

She looked at Remus with an amused look and held out her hand. "I'm Faye Taten."

"Remus Lupin," Remus said, taking her hand in disbelief.

They shook hands for a long time. "Remus," Faye laughed. "I think we can let go now."

"Oh, right," Remus said, embarrassed. He felt his face go red. What a time to make a complete fool out of himself.

"No problem," Faye said warmly. "Are you a fifth year?"

"Yeah," Remus said easily, trying to calm his nerves. "You are too, I presume?"

Faye nodded, smiling. "We're on the same boat, then."

Remus laughed. "I was completely nervous about today. I didn't know what to expect. The only one I knew in here was Lily."

"Lily Evans?" Faye asked.

Remus nodded.

"I know her," Faye smiled. "She's a great girl. I mean, I haven't actually had a chance to talk to her, but she seems nice."

Remus nodded again. "She is. But right now, she seems rather caught up."

Faye looked to the front of the room and laughed. Lily was smiling and kissing her boyfriend, her red face matching her hair. "Oh yes, the girl does seem rather busy at the moment."

They both laughed.

"You're on the Quidditch team, right?" Remus asked conversationally.

"Sort of."

"And you're a chaser, is that correct?"

Faye nodded, then shrugged. "Well, sort of."

Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Let me elaborate on that," Faye laughed. "I quit the team."

"Why?" Remus asked, genuinely surprised.

"Have you actually, seen me play?" Faye teased.

"I have," Remus grinned. "And you're good. Really good. I don't see why you would quit."

"Well, it wasn't easy," Faye said thoughtfully. "I had to get my priorities straight. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to dedicate my time to Quidditch or Prefect duties. Eventually, Prefect duties won out. I never thought about playing Quidditch professionally, and I wanted something like a stable job when I grow up and graduate from Hogwarts."

Remus smiled, falling more in love with the girl by the second. "Then we have a lot in common."

"Really?"

"Well, yeah. That's what I think about too, my future, and stable jobs and a stable life, but I have some friends who are a bit on the irresponsible side. Make that completely on the irresponsible side."

"Who?" Faye asked, interested.

Remus shrugged. "James Potter and Sirius Black."

Faye laughed. "I see your point. They're funny guys, but they can be a bit too immature at times. But hey, they give us much-needed humor every once in a while."

Remus laughed. "True. They keep telling me I'm too stiff and responsible and I need to just let go and have fun once in a while."

Faye smiled at him. "You don't seem stiff at all."

Remus felt himself go red as he smiled back. "Thanks."

"Sure. Hey, are you going to take notes on this meeting?" Faye asked, pulling out a notepad.

Remus stared in surprise. "Wow! I hadn't even thought about that. That's smart."

Faye laughed. "Why thank you. We could share the notes, if you want."

"Really?" Remus asked gratefully. "Thanks, Faye."

"Sure. Always glad to help out a friend."

"Attention!" the Head Boy called out, cutting off what Remus was about to say. "This meeting will officially come to order!"

"Honestly, Edgar," a girl said, exasperated. "This is an informal meeting, not a military parade. Hi, I'm Marlene McKinnon, and don't mind my comrade there, Edgar Bones. He's too military to be a Quidditch captain."

Everyone laughed at this, and Remus looked away from Faye to catch the rest of the meeting.

"Thanks, Marlene," Edgar said, rolling his eyes. "But we're supposed to be serious about this job."

"We're serious," Marlene grinned. "But we're not slave drivers."

Everyone laughed again at this. Even Edgar grinned.

"We're your Head Boy and Girl this year," Edgar said, the military edge coming out of his tone. "In case you can't tell, the badge signifies this." He pointed to the large Ravenclaw badge that glittered _Head Boy_.

"Edgar's not always this bad," Marlene said, laughing. "You'll get used to him."

The rest of the meeting went by in a fast blur for Remus. He tried to pay attention, he honestly did, but most of the time his thoughts wandered to Faye Taten, who was sitting beside him. His heart was jumping for joy when she said the word "friend". Right now, that was good enough for Remus. He tried not to stare at her during the speech of the Heads, but he couldn't help it.

He knew he was head-over-heels in love.

* * *

"So, I'll see you around, then?" Remus asked Faye as the meeting dispersed and everyone headed out of the compartment.

Faye smiled at Remus. "Of course. I mean, we'll get to see a lot of each other between Prefect duties and all that. And I hope we do."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Faye said. "I really want to get to know you better, Remus."

"Really?"

Faye laughed. "Of course. Plus, we should share the notes with each other. Maybe we could arrange a time where we could go over these." She pointed at her notepad.

Remus's heart melted. "Okay," he said weakly. "That would be great. Bye, Faye."

"Bye Remus," she waved, and headed out of the compartment.

As if walking on air, Remus headed out of the department. He realized he was the only one left, and walked back to his friends, still very light-footed. At least one perk of leaving late was the fact that he got to avoid Snape. He found his friend laughing over James's joke amidst a huge pile of candy in the compartment.

"Remus!" James roared. "Join the party!"

Remus laughed and plopped down on the seat. "Wow. Lots of candy this year."

"I found a new Chocolate Frogs card," James beamed.

"Forget that," Sirius said impatiently. "Who's the new Prefects?"

"Lily," Remus said promptly, digging into a licorice wand.

"Knew it!" Peter squeaked.

"We were having a debate," James laughed. "Or actually, more like a bet. Cough up a galleon, Sirius."

Sirius scowled and plunged a coin into James's hand.

"Thanks," James grinned. "I can use this to get more candy."

Sirius roleld his eyes.

"Okay, who's it for Hufflepuff?" James asked, returning to the subject.

Remus shrugged. "No clue."

"You're very observant," Sirius said sarcastically.

"Ravenclaw?" James pressed, ignoring Sirius.

Instantly, Remus found himself blushing. "I don't know who the guy is, but for the girl, it's Faye Taten."

Sirius let out a roar of laughter at this. "You must love this, Remus," he said, grinning.

"Remus is in love," James said in a singsong voice.

"Oh, shut up," Remus said, flushing even harder.

"What about Slytherin?" Peter asked.

Instantly, Remus's mood became cold. "I'm not sure who the girl is."

"Who's the guy?"

"Snivellus," Remus said with resentment in his tone.

The compartment fell silent at once. "What the hell?" Sirius finally exploded. "What was Dumbledore thinking?"

"That's how I felt," Remus said calmly. "That's exactly how I felt."

James shook his head. "Dumbledore is completely mental."

"I wouldn't go that far," Remus said, amused. "I'm sure he had his…reasons."

"I don't see any plausible reasons," James said stubbornly.

"He's going to take advantage of this position and you know it," Sirius growled.

Remus sighed. "Look, I know. But what can we do? We can't revoke his badge."

"I wish we could," James growled, slamming his fist onto the couch.

"He's made of pure evil," Peter said quietly.

"Pure evil deserves to burn in hell," Sirius snarled.

Remus smiled sadly. "I know." He paused. "But Snape doesn't have true friends."

"Not like we do," Peter chimed in.

"Right," James said.

"Right," Sirius echoed.

"He doesn't have people willing to die for him," Remus said.

"So we can stick together, and everything will be fine," Sirius said confidently.

"Absolutely," Remus beamed.

"We're the Marauders," James said. "We can do anything."

"This year, we can curse Snivelly to the moon."

"Sirius," Remus said reproachfully. "Snivellus could put you in detention."

Sirius shrugged. "I'm more than used to them."

Remus laughed. "Well, I can't argue with that."

There was a small silence.

"So, Remus," James asked, grinning. "Any chance of me getting a date with Lily Evans this year?"


	33. Wars of Emotions

A/N: And we're finally into fifth year! I know, very exciting. This is going to give you a heads up on what to expect. Remus falls in love, Sirius charms the female population of Hogwarts, Quidditch galore and of course, success on Animagi tranformations. The next few chapters (including this one) will be taking place around the same time, and they're all important. Fifth year will definitely be a roller-coaster ride!

I know, I updated soon! Well, not too soon, but pretty fast for my standards. I think I might take some time to edit the earlier chapters, and I might be combining some of them together. So if you suddenly see a decrease on chapters, don't be alarmed.

This chapter we find out more about Sirius's family life and as the title suggests, emotion takes hold. A lot of action is in this one. I want to once again thank all the readers and reviewers, and special thank yous to Machiavelli Jr., DSK, redcrushedvelvet (lol, thanks, I feel very honored), Kates Master, ellieo, and .. Your reviews motivate me to write, and thanks so much!

* * *

_September, 1974_

* * *

Wars of Emotions

The school year started out exactly like the other years for the Marauders, although the mood at the feast seemed a bit more somber. The killings of muggles and wizards not of pure blood lineage had gotten more frequent and more intense. Dumbledore's speech at the end of the feast summed all of that up.

"I want to warn you of the dangers that are entering our world," Dumbledore said to the school quietly as he stood up for his speech. The familiar twinkle in his eye was gone, replaced by a look of grief and sadness. "Recently, muggles and wizards alike have been murdered randomly. Though it is still under control for the moment, I need to warn all of you here at Hogwarts to remain safe. Do not wander into the depths of the forests or off the school grounds." Here, Dumbledore looked directly at the Marauders. "It is more important now than ever to heed what I am saying.

The whole hall was silent. Some students looked on the verge of crying, and some looked pale with fear. "I look to our Head Boy, Head Girl, and Prefects to make sure that you here are all safe and protected," Dumbledore continued. "This castle is safer than any other place in the wizarding and muggle community, and I will personally make sure that while you are here, chances of harm are very rare."

"On a lighter note," Dumbledore said, now smiling, the familiar twinkle back in his eyes. "Welcome back to a new school year! Fresh faces, new teachers." He gestured to a very young-looking man that sat beside Professor McGonagall. "Allow me to introduce to you Professor Matle. He will be your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher this year."

There was applause for Professor Matle, but no one clapped louder than Remus.

"Finally!" he whispered to James. "No more of that Storm guy."

"Thank you," Professor Matle beamed as he bowed. "Thank you very much."

Eventually, the feast ended, and everyone stood up to go back to the common room for a refreshing sleep. Sirius yawned openly, then managed to wink at a couple of girls passing by, making them blush.

"Let's go," James said. "Remus, what's the password?"

"Gobstones," Remus called out.

"Who made that one up?" Sirius asked incredulously.

James ignored him. "Remus, are you coming?"

"No, I'm a Prefect, remember? I have to show the first years to the common room."

"Why?" Sirius asked.

Remus sighed in exasperation. "Honestly, Sirius. Somehow you're aware that I have the password but you're not aware that I'm a Prefect? Prat."

"You know it," Sirius said cheekily.

"You guys go without me," Remus said, waving goodbye and heading over to the group of scared-looking first years

James seemed a little reluctant to leave Remus behind, but eventually Peter and Sirius managed to drag him up the stairs to the common room. They gave the password to the Fat Lady and went up to their familiar dorm room to unpack their suitcases.

Soon after, Remus came up and plopped onto his bed.

"How were the first years?" James asked, grinning.

"Exhausting," Remus sighed.

"In what way?" Peter asked.

"They kept asking the most rhetorical questions, like 'is Hogwarts big'. Honestly, the tour up to the common room might have answered that question."

James, Sirius and Peter laughed. "So you don't like being a Prefect?"

Remus smiled. "Well, of course I like being a Prefect. Dumbledore obviously trusts me for this job in one way or another, so I feel honored about it."

"Well there wasn't much choice, was there," Sirius laughed. "It's not like he would be crazy enough to choose me."

"Or me," James laughed.

"Or me," Peter piped up.

Remus scowled. "Well fine. But either way, I think I had a good time chatting with Lily on the way up here."

James perked up at once. "Lily?"

"Remus, why did you mention her name?" Sirius groaned.

"I thoroughly regret it now, Sirius," Remus laughed.

"How is Lily? Did she say anything about me?" James asked eagerly.

"In a word, no," Remus grinned.

"James, move on," Peter said rather desperately.

"She doesn't like you. Get that through your thick skull," Sirius said jokingly.

"Well, she will love me. She can't resist me," James said, pulling freshly packed boxers out of his trunk.

Sirius exploded into laughter. "Yeah, that _must_ be it."

* * *

"So the first Hogsmeade weekend is in November this year," Remus said, sitting down next to Peter at the Gryffindor table. It was lunchtime on the first day back from school, and Sirius was already eagerly digging into food, bits of meat flying.

"A bit late this year, isn't it," James mused.

"Yeah, later than usual," Remus replied.

"Where'd you hear it from?"

"I was talking to Marlene McKinnon before I sat down. She and Benjy made the decision really early, earlier than all the other Prefects." He then turned to Sirius. "You do know that's completely disgusting, right?"

Sirius wiped his mouth with his hands and looked up innocently at Remus. "What is?"

Remus sighed in exasperation.

"Why is it so late this year?" Peter asked.

"Apparently Slughorn rented a place in Hogsmeade to give a party and he talked to the Head Girl and Head Boy about it. The Heads chose the date for the middle of November."

"Party?" James asked interestedly. "What party?"

Remus laughed. "Don't get so excited, James. The Party is only for the Seventh years. The Slug Club members are also included. Slughorn's a bit paranoid; his one requirement is that you have to have a date."

"Why?" Peter asked, swallowing his pumpkin juice.

Remus shrugged. "I have no idea." He picked up some food from his plate and bit into it.

"Ah well, Slughorn's a kook," Sirius said, leaning back in his chair. He had wiped his plate clean of all food and had just swallowed a big gulp of juice.

"He's a decent teacher," Remus argued.

"I have to agree with Sirius," James laughed. "He wants us to make some useless potions for his class. Honestly, when are we going to use a potion that will turn us all pink?"

"You never know," Remus said defensively. He took another bite of food.

"You're just defending Lily," Sirius grinned. "Slughorn favors her."

The bell rang just then. Sirius wiped his mouth on a napkin, to the relief of his friends, and picked up his bag to head on to class.

"The first Transfiguration lesson of the year," Sirius groaned. "Great."

"I know, isn't it?" James said cheerfully.

"You're so good at it, James," Peter sighed. "I barely passed the exams last year. I don't know how on earth I'll pass the O.W.L.s this year."

"Don't worry," James said reassuringly. "We'll help you pass, just like before."

Peter smiled gratefully at him.

They took their usual seats in the class. Professor McGonagall appeared as if out of nowhere in front of the classroom as the bell rang.

"Welcome back," she said, voice as strict as ever. "Before we begin our lesson for today, I need to speak to you about fifth year."

The class groaned, knowing exactly what was coming.

Professor McGonagall ignored them. "Fifth year is an extremely crucial year in your seven years at school. You will be taking your O.W.L. exams this year. These will not only determine what N.E.W.T. classes you will take your sixth and seventh year, but it will play a big part in determining your future. For example, those of you who want to be an Auror…"

At this, Sirius perked up in his seat for the first time in the history of Transfiguration.

"To be an Auror is not easy," Professor McGonagall said, looking very serious. "It takes hard work, dedication, training and discipline. They will only accept the best of the best. Some of you in here, I'm sure, are thinking about that career path. I'm forewarning you now; you must pass your O.W.L.s to even have a shot."

James turned to Sirius to make a witty comment about this, but found his friend deep in concentration, focusing on every word Professor McGonagall was saying. It was the first time James realized just how serious Sirius was about being an Auror.

After her speech, Professor McGonagall sent them to work on simple switching spells. Everyone in the class easily performed the spell except for Peter, who, trying so hard beads of sweat ran down his face, finally gave up at the end of the class on the verge of tears.

"It's okay, Peter," Remus said, shooting a worried look at James and Sirius as Peter looked down at his feet. "You'll get it."

"Yeah," James chimed in. "We'll help you even if it means giving up our weekend."

Sirius shot James a look. James shot Sirius a pleading look right back. "Of course we will," Sirius said, trying to sound bright.

"We won't let you fail," Remus said firmly.

"I barely got through the last four years," Peter said weakly. "This year is the year we have to take actual exams! I'm already at a nervous wreck, and the Ordinary Wizarding Levels will make it so much worse."

"Don't think like that," James said.

"You will pass," Sirius said, trying to sound confident. "We'll make sure of that."

Peter didn't look cheered up one bit as they rounded the corner. James, Sirius and Remus were still trying to reassure Peter that he won't fail out of Hogwarts. Suddenly, the Marauders found themselves face to face with Snape and Regulus.

"Will you move?" Sirius said loudly. The two Slytherins stood still and blocked their way.

"Watch it, Snivellus," James growled, trying to push his way past the two Slytherins.

Snape sneered. "I'd watch it if I were you," he said silkily, pointing at the badge on his robes with a smug smile. "I have rights to throw you all in detention."

"I'd like to watch you try," Sirius spat.

"Do you think it's right, Snivellus, abusing your position like that?" James said calmly.

"Very," Snape snarled.

"Ah, but I don't think you will."

"Oh, but he can," Regulus spoke up with a sneer to match Snape's. "In fact, I don't see any of you having a Prefect badge."

"That's because I do," Remus spoke up, walking up from behind James and Sirius.

Regulus paled slightly for a moment, then resumed his sneer. "Well, well. Mr. Good Boy here has a badge. Dumbledore must have felt sorry for you…" He glanced at Remus's dirty, disheveled robes.

"You take that back!" Sirius growled loudly, advancing on Regulus. By now, a large crowd had gathered around the two Slytherins and the four Gryffindors.

"No, Sirius!" Remus whispered, holding Sirius back. "Let it go. It's not worth it."

Snape shook his head, obviously amused. "When will you learn, Black, to never talk to a Prefect in such a manner. I think I should teach you a lesson."

"What are you going to do, Snivellus?" James sneered. "Wave your little badge at us?"

"Don't call me that," Snape snarled, teeth bared.

"Admit it, Snivellus," Sirius spat. "You're a coward."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Snape roared, making the crowd around the boys jump as one. He advanced on Sirius and James, who stood their ground.

"Which one?" James said innocently. "Snivellus or coward?"

Snape let out an angry roar, and raised his wand menacingly. "Cru–"

Before he could finish getting the word out, a jet of red light hit him straight in the chest and slammed him against the wall behind him, where he fell, unconscious. Sirius was standing with his wand pointed triumphantly. A bit of blood drooled down the side of Snape's head.

The crowd around them cheered loudly. Sirius took a bow, grinning.

"Sirius," Remus said in a low voice, stunned by the turn of events. Before he could finish his sentence, Regulus had advanced on his older brother.

"You'll pay for that one," Regulus said loudly. He drew out his wand and pointed it at Sirius.

James laughed. "I wouldn't do that, Regulus."

"Shut up, Potter. Your friend is going to pay."

"Are you challenging me?" Sirius said in mock fear. "I'm so scared, I think I'll cry."

"You will be," Regulus snarled.

"Oho!" Sirius laughed. "I'm shivering in fear, little brother."

"I'm not your brother," Regulus said coldly.

For a moment, there was a dead silence in the halls.

"You're not mine either," Sirius finally said, voice steely. The laughing taunt was gone from his face to be replaced with a very ugly look. His eyes had turned dark and stormy, a warning sign for his friends. "In fact, we were never related at all."

"Thank God for that," Regulus sneered.

Sirius took a menacing step toward Regulus, wand raised. There was another moment of tense silence, where Sirius and Regulus each had their wands pointed at each other's face, ready to strike at any given moment.

Then, Regulus lowered his wand and in a swift movement dragged off Snape in the direction of the hospital wing. The crowd seemed to take in a collective breath and came in to congratulate Sirius on his spell work. Sirius, instead of acting arrogant and prideful at this, resumed being moody and disconnected. As the crowd dispersed, he headed up to the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Sirius!" James called. Sirius didn't look back.

"Come on," Remus said quietly, motioning for James and Peter to follow Sirius.

"Remus," a voice called.

Remus turned around and saw Lily striding toward him, an angry look on her face.

James and Peter looked at Remus expectantly. "You guys go ahead," Remus said. "I'll be up soon."

James and Peter nodded and jogged up the stairs.

"Lily?" Remus asked, turning around. "What's wrong?"

She now stood in front of him, face red in anger. "Remus, how could you just let that happen?"

"What?" Remus asked, bewildered.

"You know exactly what I mean," Lily said, her red hair seeming to flame up. "You just let Sirius off the hook, after he cursed Sev - I mean, Snape."

Remus sighed. Lily looked at him expectantly.

"Can you just follow me? I promise I'll explain it to you," Remus said pleadingly.

Lily nodded. Remus led her to a deserted corner of the castle. "Lily, look," he began. "I'm sorry that I didn't report Sirius."

"But it's our duty!" she exclaimed loudly. "I can't believe this, Remus! Dumbledore chose this job for us. You can't just relax it in favor of your friends!"

"Don't you think this hurts me more than anything?" Remus said quietly. "Lily, Dumbledore has helped me in more ways than you can ever imagine. It's hard for me too."

"Then why on earth didn't you turn him in? He broke about four rules right then and there!"

"Lily, listen to me. Snape was going to use an unforgivable curse. I was there. I heard it," Remus said softly. "As much damage as Sirius did, it couldn't possibly be worse than an unforgivable curse."

Lily's face darkened a little, and her eyes flickered when she heard Snape's name. "I believe you Remus. But in all fairness, we owe it to Dumbledore to turn him in." She paused. "Maybe Snape as well."

"As much as Dumbledore has helped me, Sirius, James and Peter have helped me more." Remus swallowed. "I know you don't get to see much of that, but trust me on this, Lily. They've given up so much for me." He paused. "You don't know what Sirius goes through. He has no relationship with his family. They don't care for him. They don't love him."

"That's not a reason for him to curse Snape," Lily argued.

Remus smiled. "Snape and Sirius go way back, along with James."

"For what?"

"Let's just say that Snape isn't the nicest kid on the block."

"I know that," Lily said impatiently. "But still..." She could not forget the boy who had been her best friend for so long.

There was a pause. "Well, if you're not going to report them, I will," Lily said finally. "I'm sorry, Remus."

"Why?" Remus asked, now a bit of pleading in his voice.

"They have absolutely no right to go around, cursing people they don't like," Lily replied stubbornly.

"No, Lily, please," Remus said quietly. "I know they're not your favorite people in the world, but they really are good people at heart."

"Remus," Lily sighed. "I can't not report them. They practically sent a kid to the hospital wing. Dumbledore counts on us to do our job right."

"Please, Lily," Remus said. "Please."

Lily looked at him squarely in the eye, then sighed, throwing up her hands. "Fine, Remus. I won't report them. But I'm not doing this for them."

Remus smiled at her. "Thanks, Lily."

"I'm only doing this because you're my friend."

"Either way, thank you," Remus said gratefully.

"You're welcome," Lily said, rather grudgingly. She walked down the hallway, turned a corner, and walked out of sight.

Remus breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Lily," he muttered to himself. Then, he headed on up to the Gryffindor common room.

* * *

"Severus!"

Snape whipped around. Lily was striding towards him, an angry look on her face.

"Oooh, Severus," mimicked several boys that were sitting around Snape. They were in a cluster under a tree on the Hogwarts grounds.

"Shut it, Avery, Mulciber, or I'll have you thrown in detention," Lily snarled.

"Oh but Severus won't let that happen," Avery said in a singsong voice, drawing out Snape's name.

Lily stood her ground. "I would like to talk to him alone."

Avery and Mulciber glanced at each other. "Suit yourself, Mudblood," Mulciber sneered. They stood up, and with one last jeering glance at Lily, walked away.

Snape sprang up as Lily watched them leave. "I'm sorry about that," he muttered.

She glared at him angrily, waving aside his apology. "I just got word, from a reliable source, that you just tried to use an Unforgivable Curse on James Potter. Is that true?" she demanded.

Snape stared at her, incredulous. "Are you actually taking Potter's side? They started it, those pathetic idiots, always trying to rile up -"

"It doesn't matter!" Lily said, her voice rising. "Answer my question, Severus, is it true?"

He didn't respond, but chose to carefully examine the grass at his feet.

"I can't believe you," Lily said in a voice barely above a whisper. "I can't believe you would do that."

"I wouldn't have gone through with it," Snape muttered, not altogether truthfully.

"Why do you always do this, Sev?"

Her voice was pained. He felt a little jolt of pleasure hearing her say his name. He wanted to reach up, touch her face, hold her hand - he wanted to be back on that playground, talking about their dreams, their hopes, their futures. They had drifted so far from that and it was impossible to get it back.

"Lily, I'm trying to protect you," he said in a strained voice. "You know he fancies you, I don't want -"

"For the very last time, Severus Snape, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself," Lily snapped. "And I can do that without the use of the Cruciatus curse."

Snape stared at her. He tried to speak, but nothing came out.

"You know exactly how I feel about Avery and Mulciber," she spat. "I used to believe you when you said you weren't like them. Now I can see I was just deluding myself."

"Lily, I'm sorry," Snape said desperately.

She looked searchingly at his face with a sad look on her own. "You're not the same boy that was my best friend, Sev. And for that, you should be sorry."

Without another word, she strode away and left him standing there, pained and confused.

* * *

When Remus walked into the dorm room, an ink bottle narrowly missed his left ear. Sirius was in a rage; all he could do was destroy like all the other times before.

"Sirius!" James said loudly, trying to grab Sirius's arm to keep him from throwing more things. "Sirius! Snap out of it!"

"Get away from me, James," Sirius yelled, wrenching his arm free. "Get – away – from – me!" He picked up a book and slammed it into the opposite wall.

"Sirius, stop," Peter whimpered. He then squeaked and ran out of the way as another book narrowly missed his head.

James shrugged and looked helplessly at Remus. Remus motioned to James to grab his arms, then he mouthed go. When Sirius was catching his breath after having thrown another book, Remus and James rushed in, grabbed his arms, and pinned him down to the floor.

"LET ME GO!" Sirius roared.

"Sirius, stop," Remus said pleadingly.

"LET ME UP, NOW!" Sirius shouted, louder than before. His face was full of rage and anger.

"Calm yourself," James said. "Sirius, you need to tell us what is wrong with you."

"THERE'S NOTHING BLOODY WRONG WITH ME!" Sirius growled so venomously that Peter whimpered.

"Yes there is," Remus said firmly. "You need to tell us."

"LET ME UP! I NEED TO DESTROY, I FEEL THE NEED TO THROW SOMETHING BEFORE I EXPLODE. LET ME UP!"

"Sirius, please," Remus said pleadingly. "Please, tell us what's wrong."

"Let me up," Sirius snarled dangerously. "Now."

"No," James said calmly. "Sirius, please, tell us why you're acting this way."

Sirius let out an angry roar. "WHY AM I ACTING THIS WAY? I HAVE TO STAND BY AND WATCH BITS AND PIECES OF MY FAMILY FALL APART!" He let out a humorless laugh. "My brother…my little brother… we didn't always use to be like this. When we were little, we actually used to be friends. We'd play together, we'd do things together." He swallowed. "Then, one day, I decided that I hated the way my parents went about life…living in the shadows of the Dark Arts, dedicating their whole life to killing the innocent and murdering the muggles."

He picked up a nearby book and threw it weakly across the room. "It wasn't just my brother I was fine with," he continued. "It was my whole family. Even Bellatrix. When I decided that I hated the way my parents ran their lives, I wasn't exactly secretive about it." Sirius laughed again humorlessly. "Pretty soon, everyone I was on even terms with hated me, especially my parents. I was only eight at the time."

James and Remus loosened the grip on Sirius's arms, but Sirius didn't spring up in anger this time. It was a pattern that James and Remus had seen too many times. If they could diffuse Sirius, make him talk instead of yell, eventually the feelings underneath come out in forms of talking. It was safer and much less violent.

Sirius seemed to slump on the floor. When he looked back up at his friends, the stormy look in his eyes was replaced by one of pure sadness. "When I was eight, my whole world changed in front of my eyes. My parents had never truly loved me, but at least they somehow cared. At that time, the whole family turned against me. Andromeda and Uncle Alphard were still nice to me, but they didn't live in the house, meaning I rarely ever got to talk to them." Sirius shook his head. "The one person that didn't turn on me…was Regulus."

He let out a harsh laugh. "It's hard to believe, but it's true. Of all the people in the world, Regulus was no different to me than anyone else. We played like we used to. We did everything like we used to. I even convinced him that what our parents were doing was wrong, and that we should take the high road and go against their morals, if you could call it that."

"That lasted for a while," Sirius sighed. "Then, even Regulus started becoming more distant… more removed… I'm guessing it was the influence of my parents. As much as I think he wanted to support me, he didn't want to let down our parents more. He wouldn't talk to me; he started picking at me with Bellatrix and Narcissa just for fun."

Remus looked at Sirius, trying to hold back tears. He had never fully understood the concept of parents not caring, and siblings that turned on him when he needed them the most. He didn't even realize tears were going down his face until one of them dropped on his hand.

"We started to hate each other… oh, I don't know… before I started Hogwarts. A part of me always wished that he would go back to the brothers we were before, friends. But as soon as he was sorted into Slytherin, I knew that hopes were slim." Sirius swallowed, and looked out the window.

"It was hard for me today, because as much as I hate him, a part of me always wanted us to go back to being brothers. And now, we can't. The scars of our world have run too deep to keep us together."

He glanced over at Remus, a bit astonished to see tears running down his face. "Remus, are you okay?"

"Yeah," Remus said quickly.

"I didn't think my story was that sad," Sirius said, grinning a bit.

Remus laughed. "Don't push it."

Sirius looked at Remus thoughtfully. "I don't think I've ever cried a day in my life."

"Really?" Peter squeaked.

"It's true," Sirius nodded.

"Do you know why?" James asked.

"I think I might," Sirius said softly. "I've never lost anything that was so important to me that I want to cry…I've never felt a deep sense of pain at anything that I've lost… tell me… how does it feel?"

"To cry?" Remus asked.

Sirius nodded.

"It's a sense of relief, and a sense of release," Remus said quietly.

"Well, I need to learn," Sirius said. "I think the closest I came was today, but hot anger pushed that out. Maybe soon I'll learn how to cry."

There was a brief silence in the dorm room.

"So, do you think you're okay now?" James asked Sirius.

Sirius smiled. "Yeah. I think I am." He took a good look around the room, and looked startled. "Wow, I really messed this place up." Ink was splattered over the walls, and pages from books were scattered over the floor.

"You did," James grinned. "Should we clean it up?"

The three boys looked at Remus. "What?" Remus asked.

"You're the neat freak," Sirius replied, laughing.

Remus laughed as well, then shrugged. "Nah, leave it. I think I can handle a messy room for one night."

The other three cheered. "Does that mean I can get up now?" Sirius asked, grinning. He was still sitting on the ground, James and Remus poised over him to tackle him down if he tried to fly into a rage again.

James laughed. "Yeah. I think it's safe now."

Peter suddenly yawned. "Sorry," he laughed apologetically. "I think I'm really tired."

"That goes for me too," Remus said, stretching his arms. "It's not easy to subdue Sirius."

"Because I'm so strong," Sirius grinned.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Sure, whatever you say."

The four boys changed into their pajamas and climbed into bed. Remus lay down on his bed, feeling a bit sad for Sirius. Now he knew why Sirius reacts this way every time he saw Regulus with the Slytherins, just like the incident on the train. For a while, Sirius's little brother had been the only one to stand by him. Now, times had changed.

"So Remus," Peter said sleepily. "Who are you taking to the next Hogsmeade weekend in November?"

Remus snapped out of his reverie. He felt his face grow hot and turn red.

"Do you even have to ask?" James laughed. "He wants to ask Faye."

"Admit it," Sirius's voice came from under the covers. "You know you do."

Remus groaned. "Go to sleep already."

He heard laughs come from the beds of his friends, and eventually drifted off to sleep, smiling to himself.


	34. First Date

A/N: Thanks once more for all of your support! This chapter is pretty long. In fact, maybe my longest. Maybe. I spent a lot of time working on it. It is, as the title suggests, a first date, and I loved writing it.

redcrushedvelvet: Lol, personally, I didn't really want to combine the chapters, as it would confuse me to no end, but for the sake of servers, I decided I could combine four of my chapters into two. Sorry for the inconvenience, and thanks for your support!

emmys: Well, Sirius states that he's never cried a day in his life, and that's not true. All babies cry when they're first born. But Sirius doesn't ever remember himself crying, because babies don't remember their life before they turn a year old. I have seen kids who, after the age of one or two, never cry, though it's rare. Sirius would be one of those kids. While it's true that he did cry when he was really little, he just can never remember himself crying at any point in his life. And school almost controls my life as well, but I promised myslef I would be dedicated to this story, so here it is :)

Thanks to all the readers and reviewers, with special thanks to: emmys, redcrushedvelvet, RockStar Lover, pinnochio, jumphighly, windstar, and HopelessxDreamer! A million thanks!

* * *

_November, 1974_

* * *

First Date

"James," Amber called.

James turned around to see her running toward him, clutching a stitch in her side. He slowed down and waited for her to catch up.

It was a Saturday morning in the beginning of November. The Marauders had gone into the Room of Requirement a couple of times since they got back to school. So far, they've managed to make their whole body covered with fur, but snouts and paws haven't developed yet. Apparently, a potion is needed if one wants to become a full-fledged Animagi, to be able to keep Animagi skills permanent. Remus found out that the potion was the reason most people don't become permanent Animagi. They may practice the steps until they transform, but without the potion, in the course of half a year or more, the body loses the information to transform, and it's very hard to get the body to begin to transform again. The marauders were all highly relieved at the fact that they've never gone more than a couple of months in summer vacation without practicing.

The potion was a highly complicated one that took a month to brew, and wore off in an hour after the last ingredient is added. So the Marauders needed to take the potion on a day that they were sure they could transform into an animal at will, and have someone pour the potion into their mouths at a time when they are fully transformed.

Remus had his first full moon of fifth year at the end of September and another in October. Sirius was getting increasingly frustrated that they couldn't get past the fur into the full animal stage that included paws and snouts. The boys spent most of their free time in the Room of Requirement. They didn't want Remus to go through another full moon alone, and that was their only motivation.

Now, the Marauders were spending some time on the school grounds, relaxing. The first Hogsmeade weekend was next weekend, on Saturday.

"Thanks," Amber panted, straightening up.

"Sure," James replied. "Anything wrong?"

Amber shook her head. "I just wanted to ask when the tryouts for Quidditch were."

"You're the Quidditch captain?" Sirius asked in surprise from behind James.

"You never told us that!" Remus said accusingly.

"You kept that a secret!" Peter squeaked.

James ignored them. "They'll be in the middle of November."

"Kind of late, don't you think?" she laughed.

James grinned. "It falls into schedule with the Hogsmeade trip."

Amber laughed. "True. I hope I make it on the team this year, it was great fun last year."

"You're a brilliant Chaser," James said honestly. "Unless you somehow make your flying skills as bad as Sirius's, you'll have no problem making it back on the team."

"Hey!" Sirius said in protest.

Amber laughed again. "Thanks, James. I'll go tell Daniel and Michael."

"Okay," James nodded. "Thanks."

"No problem." With that, she headed back toward the castle.

"James," Remus said as the marauders started walking towards the lake. "You never told us that you were Quidditch captain."

James looked at them, amused. "I would think that next to a prefect badge, being Quidditch captain isn't nearly as exciting."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Hardly. Quidditch captain is great. And being Quidditch captain in fifth year is pretty rare as well."

James grinned, running his hand through his hair. "You think?"

Sirius laughed. "Sure, mate. It's one time you didn't brag about Quidditch."

"You never know," James grinned mischievously. "Now that you all know about this, you just might never hear the end of it."

Remus groaned. "Good job, Sirius."

Peter laughed. "How many people do you have to replace this year?"

James looked thoughtful. "Two. But it's going to be hard work finding two new chasers. I'm happy with the rest of my team, and unless I find someone better, which is very doubtful, the lineup will be very similar."

Sirius shook his head. "I'll never get all these positions straight. All I know is that Eri graduated."

James laughed. "Girls. It's all you ever think about."

"They love me," Sirius grinned cockily. As if to demonstrate his point, he winked at a group of girls passing by, and they immediately blushed a deep red. Sirius sighed and grinned happily. "I've still got it."

"So are you taking one of those girls to Hogsmeade?" Peter asked.

Sirius looked startled. "I don't even know them. But hey, that's a fine idea."

"Don't you still have to sneak in from the witch's hump?"

"Funny thing is," Sirius said. "I actually don't. I asked my mother to sign it, and she actually did. I wonder why."

"No clue," James shrugged.

"But now, I'm finally free to roam and go on dates," Sirius sighed happily.

Remus rolled his eyes. "So you're actually going to accept a date for Hogsmeade?"

"I don't date," Sirius said easily. "I might ask someone, but it's not like we're, you know, boyfriend and girlfriend."

Remus smiled knowingly. "You don't want to be tied down."

"Precisely," Sirius said, stretching out his arms and nearly hitting James in the face.

"Prat," James grinned.

"You know it," Sirius grinned cheekily.

"So you're going to ask a girl…who?" Peter asked interestedly.

Sirius shrugged. "I don't know. But just so we're clear, I'm not bringing anyone as a girlfriend. More like…"

"A snogging buddy?" James suggested, grinning.

Sirius scowled. "When you put it that way, James…"

The marauders all cracked up. They had arrived at the edge of the lake. The blue water was calm in the chilly November morning. The only movement was the occasional ripples, which were rumored to be the cause of the giant Squid. James sat down next to the bank of the cold, clear water, and his friends followed suit.

"So you have no idea who you're asking?" James asked Sirius.

"I'll know when the time comes," Sirius grinned.

"And you think any girl will say yes?" Remus asked.

"Of course," he replied confidently. "I'm irresistible."

"That's the ego speaking," Remus laughed. "Honestly, you and James should have a contest on whose ego is bigger."

"Hey," James said, laughing. "I resent that. But in all honesty, it's the truth."

Remus, Peter and Sirius laughed at this.

"Hey Remus," Peter said, grinning. "Have you asked Faye to go to the Hogsmeade weekend yet?"

Remus instantly turned beet-red. "I don't know if I want to ask her yet…" he mumbled.

Sirius let out a roar of laughter. "Of course you do. Don't deny it."

Remus let out a little smile. "I'm not going to deny it."

"Ha!" James said, grinning. "We knew it."

"Remus likes Faye, Remus likes Faye," Sirius sang.

Peter was laughing and grinning at Remus.

"So when are you going to ask her?" James asked.

"Uh," Remus mumbled.

James rolled his eyes. "Come on, Remus, you have to ask her."

Remus flushed. "It's not that easy…"

"You can do it," James said confidently. "Who knows? This might be the girl you'll spend the rest of your life with or something."

Remus grinned wryly. "Isn't it a bit too early to tell?"

"Not at all!" James exclaimed. "If you feel something for her like I feel for Lily, then you're set."

Sirius laughed. "I just hope Faye doesn't react like Lily when Remus tries to ask her out."

"Hey," James scowled. "Lily loves me."

"In another life, maybe," Remus laughed.

"Hey, don't try to change the subject," James said peevishly. "Are you or are you not going to ask Faye Taten to go with you to the upcoming Hogsmeade weekend?"

"Well, I want to," Remus sighed. "But I'm not…feeling too brave about it."

"Why?" Peter asked.

"I don't know if she likes me," Remus said simply.

"Fear of rejection?" Sirius asked.

Remus rolled his eyes. "You're so insensitive, Sirius."

Sirius laughed. "Well if you _are_ afraid of rejection, ask James for advice. God knows how many times Lily has turned him down."

"Hey!" James protested.

Remus laughed.

"Have you seen her at all since the first day of school?" Peter asked.

"No," Remus said, turning red. "But I arranged to meet with her to go over the Prefect notes."

"When?" James asked.

Remus's face had turned pure red by now. "Today."

"Ha!" Sirius yelled, patting Remus on the back.

"Perfect," James grinned. "Ask her out today, then."

"Well…" Remus said hesitantly.

"Don't even start, this is someone you really like," Sirius said.

"But," Remus started.

"No 'buts' either. You're asking out Faye Taten today," James said confidently.

Remus rolled his eyes. "As if I have a choice now."

"You'll thank us someday," Sirius beamed. "We promise."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "And what if she says no?"

"Then it's all Sirius's fault," James laughed.

"Hey," Sirius laughed, pretending to be offended.

"No worries," Peter chimed in.

"She'll say yes," James said confidently.

Remus sighed. "I sure hope so."

* * *

Remus stood in front of the Great Hall, waiting for Faye to show up. He got there ten minutes early, just in case. The last thing he wanted to do was arrive late.

Blinking, he realized that his palms were sweaty, a sure sign of nervousness. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm the butterflies in his stomach. In his right hand was a bouquet of lilies, which he had spent the whole afternoon obtaining by sneaking into Hogsmeade.

Taking in another deep breath, Remus tried to formulate a plan in his head on how he was going to ask this girl to go to Hogsmeade with him. Sirius and James had gone over some of their 'pickup' lines with him, from cheesy to just plain weird. But in his present condition, Remus was too tongue-tied to make up a good speech to ask her out.

"Remus?" a voice called out.

Remus whipped around, and saw a smiling Faye walking toward him, her blue eyes sparkling. Donned in a blue sweater and a pair of tan pants for the weekend, she looked relaxed, simple, but still pretty. Remus felt his heart began to beat faster, and took another deep breath.

"Faye," he said, smiling nervously. "You're early."

She laughed. "So are you."

Remus grinned sheepishly. "I didn't want to be late."

"Me neither," Faye smiled.

For a moment, they stood, looking at each other, and then Remus was jolted into his senses. "Here," he said quietly. "These are for you." From behind his back he drew out the bouquet of flowers he had brought for her.

Faye gasped in surprise. "These are amazing!" She took them gently. "Where did you get them?"

"It's a secret," Remus said, smiling.

"That's very sweet," Faye said, smiling back. "Thank you, Remus."

"Of course," Remus said, still smiling nervously. "I figured I should do something nice since we were going over the notes together, the ones that you took."

"Well, either way, it was really thoughtful of you," Faye said. "Shall we go?"

"To where?" Remus asked.

"The library," Faye answered. "Come on."

Remus followed her down the winding hallway and through the mass of corridors in a daze. He couldn't believe he was spending a day with someone so thoughtful and great. He pinched himself, making sure he wasn't dreaming, feeling his heart practically floating.

"Well, here we are," Faye said, gently setting the flowers down at an empty table. She sat down, then looked up at him. "Do you want to sit?"

Remus, startled, took a seat sheepishly. "Sorry," he mumbled, turning red.

"No problem," Faye smiled. "Now, let's go over those notes."

They spent a good portion of an hour going over the notes that Faye had taken on the train. Then, their conversation turned to social life and Hogwarts in general. Remus found himself relaxing more and more as the conversation grew. He soon forgot why he was nervous - talking to her was just as easy as talking to anyone else.

"What's your favorite class?" Faye asked.

Remus looked thoughtful. "Probably Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Why?"

Remus shrugged. "I think it's a fascinating subject. The curses and the spells come in handy. In fact, it's the most practical class we have."

"That's true," Faye said quietly. "Especially with this war within our world right now."

"I know. James's family was killed by the Death Eaters," Remus sighed. An instant shot of sadness grew in his heart.

"That's horrible," Faye said sadly. "My neighbors were killed by the Death Eaters as well."

"I'm so sad for you," Remus said sincerely.

Faye smiled. "Thank you, Remus." She took a quick glance at her watch. "Wow, we were here for a long time," she said, startled. "Well, I should get going, Remus. I have a Charms Club meeting soon."

Remus was a bit taken aback. He hadn't had time to formulate a good way to ask her out yet. "So soon?" he asked dumbly.

"Yeah," Faye said, looking a bit disappointed her self. "But I had a great time, you know, as much fun as you can have going over notes."

"So did I," Remus said.

"You seemed a bit odd when we first met up," Faye smiled knowingly. "But I think you returned to your old self as the conversation went on."

"I was nervous," Remus confessed.

"Me too," Faye laughed.

"Really?"

"I'm better at hiding it, I guess," Faye smiled. She stood up and picked up her flowers. "Thanks again for these."

"Of course," Remus said, standing up as well. He racked his brain for some of the things James and Sirius told him about how to ask a girl out, but he didn't remember all of them.

"Bye, Remus," Faye said, beginning to walk away from the table.

"Faye, Wait," Remus said desperately.

Faye turned around.

"Uh, I really like your earrings," Remus said lamely.

"Thanks," Faye said. She turned to walk again.

"Wait!" Remus said again. She stopped again, and he walked up to her, trying to gather all of his courage.

"Uh," Remus said nervously. He tried once more to rack his brain for the advice James and Sirius had given him. Once more, he drew a blank. Faye looked expectantly at him.

_Ah, forget their advice,_ Remus thought to himself. _I'll just say it… from me._ "Faye," he said, taking a deep breath. "Uh, would you like to go with me to Hogsmeade next weekend? I mean, I know we don't really – I mean, if you don't want to, that's fine…" he trailed off, looking embarrassed.

Faye's face broke into a beaming smile. "I would love to," she said warmly.

Remus's face lit up. "Really?"

"Definitely," Faye smiled. "I think it would be great."

"So then it's a date?"

Faye laughed and nodded. "It's a date." She gave him a quick hug and waved goodbye, heading out of the library.

Remus was so stunned he couldn't move. Finally, realization sunk in, and he felt like screaming for joy. He felt like he was on top of the world.

But of course, he couldn't do it in the library, or else Madam Pince would kick him out.

* * *

"She said yes!" Remus shouted, bursting into the dormitory. All the excitement and happiness that he had been withholding since he successfully asked Faye to Hogsmeade had been bottled up, and Remus needed to let it out.

James, Peter and Sirius cheered from their beds.

"Way to go, Remus," James beamed.

"We can double date," Sirius said easily.

"With who?" Remus asked interestedly, sitting down on his bed.

"This girl named Nora Angy," Sirius answered, smiling. "She's in Hufflepuff."

"So you asked her to be your girlfriend?"

"Absolutely not," Sirius said, looking horrified. "It's just one date."

"Well, maybe that'll lead to something," Remus said, smiling.

Sirius shrugged. "Maybe, but I doubt it. I'm too busy to be bothered with this dating stuff."

"And yet you still have time to go to Hogsmeade with her," James said, amused.

"Hey, at least I have a date," Sirius countered.

"It's not like I can't get one," James said easily. "I got about ten girls asking me to go with them today."

Remus raised his eyebrow in disbelief.

"It's true," Peter piped up. "He really did. But he turned all of them down."

"What?" Remus asked in disbelief. "Why would you do that?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Sirius laughed. "For someone so smart, Remus, you sure are dumb sometimes."

Remus laughed. "Of course. Holding out for Lily? Gonna ask her out again?"

James grinned. "Maybe."

"You're wasting your time, mate," Remus shook his head. "She has a boyfriend. I already told you that."

"But she loves me," James shrugged.

"If love equals hate, then yeah, she loves you," Sirius snickered. "Don't you remember the Amortentia incident?"

"She's just being stubborn," James argued.

"I give up," Sirius said, throwing up his hands. "You really are impossible, James."

"Thank you," James said, grinning cheekily.

Remus suddenly let out a loud yawn. "Sorry. Can we go to sleep now?"

"Big weekend ahead," Sirius grinned.

"No, Remus is right," James said.

"Yeah, it's really late. We should go to bed," Peter agreed.

"Fine," Sirius shrugged.

The Marauders climbed into their beds, and Remus went soundly to sleep, content.

* * *

The week whizzed by fast. In no time at all, Hogsmeade weekend had arrived. Remus was a nervous wreck right before he was to meet Faye, and he sat in his dormitory, clueless.

"I can't do it," he moaned to James. "I simply can't do it."

"Yes you can," James nodded.

"No I can't," Remus groaned.

"Yes you can," James said encouragingly. "You can. Faye agreed to go out with you for a reason."

"But I can't do it, I'm too nervous," Remus sighed. "I'll look like an idiot, and she'll think of me as one."

"You're not an idiot," James said firmly. "You're one of the smartest in our year."

"Maybe I shouldn't go," Remus sighed."

"What?" James said loudly. "And leave Faye standing there? Come on Remus, don't do that to her. She really likes you."

"How do you know?" Remus asked despairingly.

"She agreed to go on a date with you," James said simply. "Don't brush away this one chance to get to know her better. She's counting on you to be there. Don't let her down."

Remus felt the rock in his stomach get a little lighter at these words. "Are you sure?"

"Positive," James beamed.

Remus smiled. "Thanks, James."

"Anytime," James said.

"Where's Peter and Sirius?" Remus asked curiously, standing up.

James stood up too. "They're in the common room. I think Nora was going to meet Sirius in our common room." He shrugged. "Let's go down and check."

They headed down the stairs, and as the couch came into view, they saw two figures on it, one with black hair and one with blonde hair.

"Hey Sirius," James grinned. "You're pretty busy, aren't you."

Sirius stopped snogging Nora long enough to look up and give James a rude hand gesture, grinning.

"How long have they been like this?" Remus asked Peter curiously, who had just walked up to James and Remus.

"Ever since Nora came in," Peter shrugged.

"Wow," Remus commented, nodding. He then checked his watch. "We'd better go, guys. Faye is meeting me at the front gates, and I think Filch already led the group."

"Good idea," Peter nodded.

"Okay, come on," James said, pulling Sirius off of Nora. "Do that in Hogsmeade."

Nora giggled. Sirius took her hand and they followed behind the rest of Marauders, exchanging kisses and whispers.

"I think I'm going to be sick," James laughed.

"I know how you feel," Remus grinned.

They finally arrived at the front gate. Remus saw Faye waiting for him, and waved goodbye to his friends. Nora and Sirius, when they reached Hogwarts, eventually also went in their separate directions, though promising to meet everyone for lunch.

"So, what do you want to do now?" James asked Peter as they stood alone in the center of Hogsmeade.

Peter shrugged. "I have no idea."

"Let's go to Honeydukes then; I'm craving some candy."

Peter nodded. "Alright."

The duo headed to the candy shop. By now, they knew their way around Hogsmeade like the back of their hands. Too many times have the Marauders sneaked up here in the night for a thrilling adventure or a visit to the Shrieking Shack.

In Honeydukes, James purchased some candy for himself and Peter. They munched on their food and walked around Hogsmeade some more.

"Gosh, it's different," Peter sighed.

"I know," James nodded. "Both Remus and Sirius are out on a date. Or rather, a 'date', for Sirius."

"It's different without them." Peter said quietly.

"I know what you mean." James said. They walked around the village some more, coming to the edge of the village that opens into the woods. Suddenly, right in front of James and Peter, came Lily and her boyfriend, laughing and talking. They didn't seem to realize James and Peter were there. They sat down on a bench not too far away with their backs facing the two marauders.

James scowled at this.

"You okay?" Peter asked.

Suddenly, James's face lit up. "This is too good to miss," he said, laughing.

"What is?" Peter asked, confused.

"This way," James whispered. They ducked behind a large rock.

"What is it, James?" Peter asked again.

"You know that new hex I've been practicing? The one that makes the teeth grow longer and longer until someone resembles a beaver?"

"Yeah."

James grinned. "I think we have our first candidate for testing."

Peter looked confused. "Lily?"

James shook his head. "Nope. Her boyfriend."

"James," Peter said nervously. "Are you sure?"

James nodded. "Yep."

"What if she finds out?"

"I don't see anything she could possibly do to me. Besides, Lily Evans is in denial. She loves me, and she knows it. Maybe this'll show her what I can do and that her boyfriend is a loser."

Peter shook his head in disbelief. "Whatever you say, James."

James and Peter hedged out from behind the rock. "Okay, I'm ready," James said, pulling out his wand and steadying it. He took a deep breath. "_Densaugeo_."

Instantly, a shout came from the bench ahead. Lily jumped up, apparently in panic, and started screaming. Her boyfriend jumped up as well, hands trying to cover the growing teeth that were reaching below his chin.

James couldn't help it. He started laughing. Peter tried to tell him to be quiet in case Lily heard, but it was already too late. Lily whipped around, saw James, and instantly her green eyes narrowed to a slit and her hair cackled.

"Uh oh," Peter said silently as Lily led her hysterical boyfriend their way. James was still laughing his head off.

Lily arrived beside them, and to Peter's surprise, she strode right on past them back in the direction of the castle, presumably to the hospital to take care of her boyfriend. Her green eyes were glittering with hatred as she passed them.

"That was funny!" James gasped in laughter as Lily left. "Don't deny it, Peter. Now, I can hex Snivelly perfectly. The spell works just fine."

"Well yeah," Peter said, cracking a smile.

"Did you see his teeth?" James guffawed.

Peter couldn't help it. He started laughing with James.

* * *

"So," Remus said, a bit nervously. "Where shall we go first?"

"Uh, I don't know," Faye shrugged. "Where do you think?"

Remus let out a smile. "I don't know either."

Faye laughed. "Well, we can't just stand here. How about we go to Scrivenshaft's? I'm desperately in need of a new quill."

"Sure," Remus agreed. The couple headed toward the shop on High Street. Once there, Faye purchased some new quills, then they headed back out.

"Where to now?" Faye asked. "It's your turn."

Remus laughed. "Well, I think it's almost time for us to meet everyone for lunch." He looked at his watch. "Yeah, it's almost near lunchtime, but knowing Sirius, he's probably hungry enough to eat the table."

Faye smiled. "Well, okay then." They started walking back to the center of the village. "Which place are we going to?"

"The Three Broomsticks," Remus answered.

"I love that place," Faye beamed.

"Me too," Remus smiled.

They walked along, occasionally stopping to say 'hi' to a fellow classmate.

"Gosh, I'm cold," Faye shuddered. "I should have brought my gloves today."

"I feel the same way," Remus said. "My fingers seem frozen as well. Maybe this is a little lesson for us on cold days."

"Maybe," Faye let out a little grin. She reached out her hand and laced her fingers through his. "Or maybe we can compromise."

Remus felt his heart leap for joy. "Yeah," he stuttered, at a loss for words. "That's good as well."

"So remind me who is going to be there," Faye said, smiling.

"At the Three Broomsticks?" Remus asked, still dazed.

"Yeah."

Remus looked thoughtful for a moment. "Uh, well, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. And then Sirius and his Hogsmeade date, Nora."

"Wow," Faye laughed. "Can we all squeeze into one table?"

"We'll manage," Remus said, smiling.

They arrived at The Three Broomsticks. Sirius, Nora, James and Peter were already there. James and Peter were laughing about something, and Sirius was smothering a laughing Nora in quick kisses.

"Hey guys," Remus said, pulling out a chair for Faye and then sitting himself down.

"Hey Remus," James and Peter chorused. Sirius took a bit longer with his greeting, as he and Nora were still kissing and laughing.

"Hey Remus," Sirius finally grinned after he and Nora broke off.

"Having fun?" Remus asked, amused.

"Yep," Sirius said, grinning. Nora giggled.

"I gathered," Remus laughed.

"How about you?" James asked.

Remus turned and smiled at Faye. "Absolutely perfect." Faye smiled back.

"Finally branching off from just the four of you, eh?" a female voice laughed. Everyone turned to see Madam Rosmerta smiling at them.

"Absolutely," Sirius grinned. "A grand time."

"Well I hope you're having fun, Sirius. Now boys, what'll it be?"

They ordered their food. As Madam Rosmerta walked away, Faye and Nora said together, "you guys know her?"

Everyone at the table laughed at this. "Yeah, we do," James said, beaming. "She's a great woman."

"Not to mention the privileges we get," Sirius said, grinning cheekily.

"Best service," James added, laughing.

As their food arrived, James observed his friends with great interest. Sirius and Nora had barely touched their food; they were too busy snogging each other to eat. It was amazing to James; he had never seen Sirius turn down food. Remus and Faye barely touched their food as well. Instead, they talked and laughed, holding hands. What struck James most was the look in Remus's eye. Sirius's eyes had a look of laughter and enjoyment; Remus's eyes had a look of pure love.

"That was great," James said after his plate was cleaned.

"So soon?" Sirius asked, disappointed.

"Yep," Peter laughed.

The six got up and waved goodbye to Madam Rosmerta. Then, they headed their separate ways. James and Peter headed for Zonko's and Sirius and Nora went in the direction of the castle.

"So, back to square one," Faye laughed. "Where should we go now?"

Remus laughed as well. "It's your turn."

"Oh gosh," she said. Faye looked thoughtful for a moment, then grinned. "How about we go to the Shrieking Shack? I've never had the courage to go up there alone. It sounds like a terrifyingly cool place."

Remus gulped, feeling some of the color drain out from his face. "Uh…"

"It'd be a great adventure," Faye said excitedly. "I heard some gruesome stories about the violent spirits up there."

"Wow," Remus stuttered.

"What, are you afraid?" Faye teased.

"No," Remus said, trying to sound casual.

"Then what?"

"N-Nothing."

Faye wasn't fooled, however. The teasing look on her face turned into a look of concern. "Remus, is something wrong?"

"Uh," Remus sighed. "I'm sorry Faye, I don't really think I want to go up to the Shrieking Shack right now. I'm really sorry."

"Oh," Faye said gently. "No problem, it's okay."

"I feel horrible," Remus whispered.

"It's fine," Faye said softly. "But is there any specific reason that you want to tell me?"

"I'm sorry," Remus apologized again. "I-I don't think I can."

"That's absolutely fine with me," Faye said warmly. "It's not like we have to go. In fact, I think Hogsmeade is more interesting than that shack."

"Yeah?" Remus asked hopefully.

"Yeah," Faye laughed. "Okay, so no Shrieking Shack. How about Honeydukes? I'm in love with chocolate."

"Oh really?" Remus said, starting to find feeling ad color in his face again.

"Yeah. I'm sugar obsessed."

"Okay, then, Miss Sweet Tooth," Remus said jokingly. "It's off to Honeydukes we go."

Faye laughed, and they walked together toward Honeydukes. Remus offered to buy her some chocolate, which she only accepted under some persuasion.

"Wow, thanks again for this," Faye said, clutching her sweets. "That was really nice of you, Remus."

"No problem."

"You really didn't have you, you know."

"I know. But I wanted to. Anything for you," Remus said sincerely.

Faye smiled up at him.

"So, tell me more about you," Remus said.

Faye shrugged. "There's not too much to say. Let me see. My full name is Faye Aine Taten. I'm not an only child. I have two younger brothers. One is going to come to Hogwarts next year. The other actually died some years back."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Remus said quietly.

"Thanks," Faye said bracingly. She took a deep breath and continued. "I'm a half-blood; my father was a wizard, and my mother is a muggle. They're so in love that it doesn't even matter." She paused and laughed. "Gosh, what else? I think Astronomy is fascinating. My favorite color is blue. Um, I love my family. They're amazing. Oh, and of course, I do play Quidditch."

"Very well, I might add," Remus added.

"Thank you," Faye smiled. "But I don't know, I guess I just value Prefect duties and my classes more. I don't mind hard work. It just makes you stronger as a person."

"I admire that," Remus said truthfully.

"Thanks," Faye said, looking up at him. "And now you know about me. But I don't know about you."

"Remus John Lupin," Remus said, smiling. "I'm a half-blood as well."

They couple talked for what seemed like hours, all the while wandering around Hogsmeade. The gentle November wind blew around them, the once leaf-filled trees bristled in the cold. They went around window-shopping, laughing and talking. Soon, a startled Remus realized that the sky was already beginning to darken.

"Wow, it's really late," he commented.

"I didn't realize we already spent all this time here," Faye laughed. "The time flew."

"I know," Remus said regretfully. "But we should head up to the castle."

Faye agreed. Hand in hand, the two left the little town and followed some of their straggling classmates back to the castle.

"I'll walk you to your common room," Remus offered as they stepped inside the entrance hall.

"Sure," Faye smiled. "I'd like that."

She led the way along some corridors. Remus pretended not to know where she was heading, but in truth, he had already explored every square inch of the castle and knew exactly where everything was.

"So here we are," Faye said, finally letting go of Remus's hand.

"I had a great time," Remus said sincerely.

"Me too," Faye said softly.

Remus fidgeted with his fingers. He really liked this girl, and he wanted to spend more time with her. "Um, would you like to go with me to the next Hogsmeade weekend?"

Faye smiled. "I'm not sure when that is, but of course. I'd love to."

Remus looked relieved. "Thanks for coming with me today, Faye."

"Believe me, it was my pleasure," Faye said.

"I had a lot of fun."

"Me too."

There was a pause.

"Well, goodnight Remus," Faye said softly.

Remus paused, unsure of what to do. Should he kiss her goodnight? What did James and Sirius say about this? Remus froze. Then, on impulse he leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight, Faye."

Faye was glowing and beaming as Remus straightened up again. "I'll see you, Remus." She went inside the common room, smiling one last time over her shoulder.

Remus sighed happily and did a little cheer outside the Ravenclaw common room with a goofy dance, beaming, unaware that Faye, in her common room, was doing the exact same thing.


	35. At Last

A/N: Well, apparently Fanfiction now lets me reply to your questions in your emails, so from now on I won't be doing the answers to the questions I get in the reviews on my actual post. Actually, it's now against the rules. So if you are an anoynomous reviewer and wants your questions answered, you'll either have to give me your email... or something. I don't know. Sorry! But as a note, emmys, you'll find out why. You've definitely got a good brain on your head, though :)

This chapter... long. Yay. I spent a long time on it, so don't kill me if you don't like it!

Thanks again to all my readers and reviewers. Thanks to emmys, redcrushedvelvet (again, twice!), RockStar Lover, Hermilidi, and Alexa Krystal (twice as well!). Thanks to your dedication and support, this author is happy :)

* * *

_November, 1974_

* * *

At Last

"That James Potter!" Lily fumed, pacing back and forth. She and Marcella were alone in the dormitory. The other girls in their dorm hadn't come back from Hogsmeade yet.

"Lily, dear, calm yourself," Marcella said desperately.

Lily ignored her. "How dare he use my boyfriend as a – a puppet! A puppet for his spellwork! How dare he!"

"You're right, that was wrong," Marcella said, trying to calm her down.

"He's a jerk! He – AGH!" Lily stamped her foot in frustration.

"Couldn't you just have given him detention?" Marcella implored.

Lily whipped around. "I was too mad to see where I was going. Paul's teeth were growing at an alarming rate, and I needed to get in to the hospital wing as soon as possible. Plus, detention doesn't seem to do James Potter any good."

"Are you sure he was the one that cursed Paul?" Marcella asked.

"For the last time, yes," Lily snapped impatiently. "He was standing right behind where we were sitting with that Peter Pettigrew, and there was no one else in sight!"

"You're sure it wasn't Peter then?"

Lily shook her head. "Absolutely not. James was the one that immediately started laughing like crazy after Paul jumped up." She let out a noise of fury. "Even if Potter didn't do it, which I highly doubt, laughing at Paul's pain still makes him an insufferable arse."

Marcella nodded. "I agree with you there, Lily."

Lily started pacing again. "I need to do something to make James Potter pay. But I can't curse him in open daylight. I'm a Prefect, although I wish I wasn't just for the enjoyment of hexing the hell out of him."

"So what are you going to do?" Marcella asked tentatively.

"I don't know yet," Lily sighed, stopping. She sat down on a bed beside Marcella. "I just don't know yet."

"But you do know that you want to make James Potter pay," Marcella said, mouth twitching slightly.

"That part I'm sure of," Lily said scathingly.

The girls sat in silence for a while, contemplating thoughts for revenge. Marcella personally was against any idea, but truthfully, James shouldn't have cursed Lily's boyfriend. Her mouth twitched slightly at the thought that James was, more likely than not, jealous of Paul.

Then, a sudden inspiration hit her.

"Come on Lily," Marcella said, jumping up. "I've got a plan."

"What is it?" Lily asked.

"You'll see," Marcella said, brown eyes sparkling. "Let's go."

"Well where are we going?"

Marcella smiled mischievously. "To Slughorn's dungeon."

* * *

"This is absolutely perfect," Lily giggled as they sneaked out of Slughorn's classroom. In her hand she held a vial of pink potion that the class had brewed for the last month or so.

"This is gonna be so much fun," Marcella whispered, beaming.

It was late in the night, but still before curfew when the girls sneaked out. As they headed back through the portrait of the Fat Lady, it had just reached curfew.

"Ah, that was well planning on our part," Marcella laughed.

"Most definitely," Lily grinned.

"Now, to see if the boys are asleep."

The two girls quietly sneaked up to the boys' dormitory. They could still hear voices inside, meaning that the boys weren't asleep yet. Lily and Marcella sat outside the dorm door, whispering, talking and laughing.

After a while, silence ensued in the dorm room. Lily and Marcella waited an extra ten minutes, just to be sure the boys were all asleep. Then, carefully and slowly, they pushed open the unlocked door.

The room was dark, and it took a couple of minutes for Lily and Marcella to get used to it. Once they did, however, they could make out five beds. Four had sleeping boys on it; the fifth was empty.

Lily sneaked up to the first bed. It contained a sleeping Peter. She motioned for Marcella to come over.

"Shall we potion this one?" Marcella asked in a whisper.

"Yes," Lily whispered decidedly. "He started laughing with James after Paul got cursed. I heard him."

Marcella looked uncertain.

"He did," Lily argued.

Marcella shrugged. "Alright."

Peter was sleeping with his mouth open, so Lily found it very easy to pour a bit of potion into his mouth. To her relief, Peter didn't move, and seemed to swallow the potion while he breathed.

"One down," Lily said, smiling.

Next, beside Peter, was Remus Lupin.

"How about him?" Marcella asked.

Lily sighed lightly, debating with herself on whether or not to potion Remus.

"Just a tiny, tiny little bit," she said finally. She poured one little drop in his mouth. "Sorry, Remus," Lily whispered. "But I have to."

"Okay, moving on," Marcella whispered. She paused. "Here, we've got James Potter."

"Let's skip him and come back to him," Lily said scathingly.

Marcella shrugged.

They skipped James and moved on to Sirius. "So…" Marcella asked.

"Absolutely," Lily said, nodding.

"But he didn't do anything," Marcella said fairly.

"He's annoying, and a complete rule breaker."

Marcella let out a little laugh. "Right now, we are too."

Lily scowled good-naturedly. "This is a special case."

"Whatever you say, Lils," Marcella said.

"Ah, Marci, you're too kind to these boys. I've waited for this. Everytime they broke a rule and lost points for Gryffindor, when they fed you the Amortentia potion… this is payback, Marcella dear. And I'm savoring it."

Marcella stifled a laugh.

Lily put a couple of drops of potion in Sirius's mouth. He stirred, but he didn't wake up.

Marcella breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, Lily, now what about Potter? He's the one that you came here to get, right?"

"I haven't forgotten," Lily said vindictively. She strode up to James's bed and poured the rest of the contents of the vial into his mouth.

"Lily," Marcella said hesitantly. "That's a lot of potion." It was true. While Lily had put at most a couple of drops into the other boys' mouths, she put what seemed like three-quarters of the liquid in the vial into James's mouth.

"He deserves it," Lily said scathingly. "This is for the arrogant prat."

"Ha," Marcella said amusingly. "Don't mess with us anymore."

Lily giggled. "That's right."

James stirred for a moment, then groggily turned over in his sleep. Alarmed, the two girls immediately ran out of the dorm room, making sure to close the door behind them. Then, they went to the now-deserted common room.

Lily and Marcella sat down on the couch in silence. Then, after taking one look at each other, they burst out laughing. They couldn't wait to see the results tomorrow.

* * *

"AAAAGH!" someone shouted.

At this, Lily and Marcella burst out laughing.

It was early in the morning, and most people had already woken up and were heading down to breakfast. The people walking through the common room stopped dead in their tracks.

Slowly, Lily saw four pairs of feet descend from the stairway to the boys' dormitories. James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew came down, every inch of their skin a hot pink color. Remus just had a pink tinge to him. Peter and Sirius were equally hot pink colored. But James… it looked like he had gone through seven coats of the hottest pink paint there was in the world. His usually jet-black hair still stuck up, but it looked like it was coated with bright gum. His warm hazel eyes glinted magenta.

Everyone in the common room exploded with laughter. The Marauders stood in the middle of the room, looking both miserable and embarrassed. Eventually, after lots of teases and comments, everyone left for the Great Hall for breakfast, everyone except for Lily and Marcella.

Lily was clutching her stomach with unsurpassable amounts of laughter. Marcella was rolling on the floor, laughing so hard she was unable to make a sound. James headed over to the tow girls, followed by Sirius, who was a bit peeved, Peter, who looked embarrassed, and Remus, who looked torn between reprimand and approval.

"It's not funny," James scowled, standing in front of the girls.

The girls momentarily stopped laughing. "Says you," Lily scowled right back. She and Marcella started laughing again.

"That was not funny!" James said, anger edging into his voice.

Lily and Marcella just kept on laughing.

"I'm serious," James snapped angrily.

Lily stopped laughing and grinned tauntingly at him. "What's the matter, Potter? Finally got a taste of your own medicine?"

"No!" James sputtered. He would never admit to anyone that he had been pranked, especially not Lily Evans.

"No one can prank us," Sirius scoffed.

"Tell me then, gentlemen, what is it that we just did?" Lily said scathingly.

"So that _was_ you," James said.

"Took you long enough," Lily said airily.

"We should report you for this," James hissed.

"And sink to our level? Gonna be a tattletale now? A goody-two shoes? Isn't that what you've always despised, Potter?" Marcella taunted.

James paused, looking murderous. "You're just lucky we were asleep, or else you'd have never been able to pull that off," James said.

"Don't make me laugh," Lily snapped, green eyes glaring.

"Oh yeah?" James said, firing up.

"Yeah," Lily shot back. "You just don't want to admit it, Potter, but you know we just pranked the master of pranks."

James flushed, making his cheeks even pinker than they were before, if that was possible. "No, Evans, you didn't. I knew you were going to do this all along."

Lily screamed with derisive laughter. "Oh, you did, did you? Well then, tell me, Potter, why are you a bright shade of hot pink then?"

"I – that's not the point, Evans!" James sputtered.

"All those weeks slaving over that potion for Slughorn finally paid off," Marcella grinned.

"Definitely," Lily said. "And we once thought that that potion would be useless." The girls burst out laughing again.

"THIS IS NOT FUNNY!" James roared.

Lily stopped laughing again and glared at him. She stood up from the couch, as did Marcella, and stepped close to James. "Potter," she said, teeth bared. "There's one thing about being a prankster that you obviously don't know."

"Oh, and what would that be, Evans?"

Lily glared at him. "If you can dish it out, you've got to learn to take it too." With that, Lily and Marcella strode out of the common room, disappearing through the portrait hole.

"I – what was that?" James demanded once the girls were gone.

"I don't know mate," Sirius shrugged. "Crazy girls."

Remus stifled a laugh. Unfortunately, James heard it.

"So you honestly think this is funny?" James asked incredulously, turning to look at Remus.

"You've had it coming for a long time, James," Remus said fairly.

"What did I ever do to her?" James asked angrily.

"Do you honestly want me to list them all?" Sirius laughed.

"Plus, I think what Lily said made some sense," Remus said evenly. "Remember the Amortentia incident? You've pranked her James, and now you're even."

"No we're not," James said, annoyed.

Remus shook his head disbelievingly. "You have to admit, Lily does have some points."

"Yes," James sputtered, "but pink?"

At this, Remus, Sirius and Peter burst into laughter.

"Oh shut up," James scowled. "You're only laughing because you're not magenta."

"And I'm glad," Remus grinned.

"Thanks," James snapped. "Very supportive."

"Oh cheer up," Remus said calmly. "It's not the end of the world."

"Yeah," Peter said. "This'll come off."

"Will it?" James asked desperately.

Sirius took a good look at his pink skin and sighed. "I sure hope so."

* * *

For the next couple of days, the Marauders were the talk of Hogwarts. Remus's pink tinge wore off the next day, and Sirius and Peters' pink was starting to fade. James's skin, however, showed no sign of wanting to fade at all.

"Those girls are pure evil," James muttered, staring at his pink reflection in the mirror on Saturday morning. The Quidditch tryouts were that day, and James was so embarrassed he honestly thought about not attending until Remus talked him out of it.

"I wouldn't say pure evil," Sirius said casually.

"That's just because the pink potion has worn off for you," James snapped.

Sirius stretched his arms out and grinned. "So testy in the morning, James."

"Don't forget to come to the Room of Requirement after you're done," Remus reminded James.

"For the millionth time, Remus, I know," James groaned.

The potion that the boys spent a month to make needed its final ingredient added in that night, and after that, they had an hour to fully transform and drink the potion to become true Animagi. As the potion only worked for an hour and none of the boys had managed to fully transform yet, they all needed a miracle to become full Animagi.

Peter, Sirius and James now all knew how to sprout fur at will. During the last couple of sessions, James grew and grew what looked like prong-like antlers, and Sirius managed to grow paws. However, since their transformations were not complete, the three boys had no idea what on earth they actually were.

"It's my worst fear," Sirius had groaned, thinking that the padded feet meant that he was rabbit.

Still, the boys wanted to try transforming, and if it worked, Remus's November full moon would become a true adventure.

Remus twiddled his thumb while waiting for James to finish examining himself in the mirror.

"I'm officially over Lily Evans," James said suddenly.

Remus stopped twiddling his thumb and looked up at James in surprise. Peter gaped at James, and Sirius had his mouth wide open.

"Are you serious?" Sirius asked, unable to believe his ears.

"Yes," James said firmly. "I've had quite enough of that girl. I'm over Lily Evans as of right now."

"All because of a stupid prank?" Remus asked quietly.

"It's not because of that," James said hotly.

Remus shot him a look.

"Well, maybe a little," James relented. "But either way, I am over her."

"Wow," Peter said softly.

There was a pause.

"It's about time," Sirius grinned. "Now we can go on double dates together."

James grinned as well. "Yeah." He tried to shake off the nagging feeling of a lie. He really wanted to be over Lily Evans… but he wasn't sure if he believed himself enough to do it.

Remus shook his head and took a glance at his watch. "James, you'd better go," he said. "The tryouts are about to start."

James took a deep breath and snatched up his broomstick. "Okay. I'm ready." The Marauders walked down the stairs and clambered out of the portrait hole.

"Find some good players," Peter said.

"Yeah, some brilliant ones," Sirius grinned.

"I hope I do," James said.

"Let's go," Remus motioned to Sirius and Peter. He walked down the left corridor. "Bye, James, don't forget to come to the Room of Requirement after you're done!"

"I know," James called back. Then, broomstick in hand, he headed down to the Quidditch pitch.

As he approached the field, he saw a group of red-clad people with brooms in their hand as well. Trying to ignore his current pink state, James strode into the field.

"Good morning everyone," he called. The hopefuls turned to look at him. There were eight people who had showed up in total. Perry, Amber, Michael and Daniel were among them.

"Good morning," the group chorused back.

"I'm James Potter," James said easily. "I'll be your Quidditch captain this year. Let's go around in a circle, and introduce yourself."

The group did as they were told. Amber went first, then, Perry, then Daniel, then Michael. Then, they came to a girl named Mallory, then a boy named Balin. Then, James's body seemed to jolt. Marcella Greenwald. A hot surge of anger coursed through James as he thought about his pink skin, Lily, and the potion. He was determined not to let Marcella on the team. The last person was a boy named Owen.

"Okay, let's get started," James said, getting down to business. "Divide into two groups of four."

The team did so. The first group consisted of Amber, Mallory, Daniel and Perry. James had them fly around the pitch. All four of them did it with what seemed like perfect ease. James then had the second group do the same thing. If he was hoping for easy elimination, he was wrong. All four of them as well flew with apparent ease.

James took in a deep breath. This would take longer than he thought.

"Okay," he said after they all descended back down to the ground. "I have a question for you guys. Who here is trying out for a position other than chaser?"

Michael, Perry and Daniel raised their hands.

James shrugged. "Right. You guys are back on the team as beaters and keeper."

The three boys cheered.

"So all the rest of you are vying to be chaser?"

Amber, Mallory, Balin, Owen and Marcella nodded.

"Right," James said again. "Let's start with some throwing exercises then, to test your aim. Perry," he instructed. "Please fly up and defend the goals."

"Will do," Perry said.

James watched as one by one as the hopefuls threw the Quaffles, trying to get past Perry. It was obvious that though Owen could fly well, he had never aimed a Quaffle his entire life.

"Owen!" James called.

"Yeah?" Owen said, landing beside James.

"I'm sorry," James sighed, running his hands through his hair. "But I just don't think your aim is good enough to be on the team. Keep trying, and try out again next year. Brilliant flying, by the way."

Owen looked dejected for a second, then smiled. "That's okay, thanks anyway."

As he walked off the field, James turned his attention to the remaining group of four. He knew he had to eliminate one more, but who? In his heart, he knew he wanted to eliminate Marcella, but he had to grudgingly admit that she could fly really well.

"Okay," James called to the group. "This is for real now. Amber, you go first, this is out of five goals. Try to get the Quaffle past Perry. The three that score the most stays."

Amber nodded, took the Quaffle, and began shooting. She put four goals in out of five.

"Good," James called. "Mallory, you next." Mallory took the Quaffle and made three out of five. Balin went after her and scored four out of five times.

"Last one," James called into the sky. He crossed his fingers behind his back, hoping Marcella wouldn't be any good.

How wrong he was. Marcella snatched up the Quaffle and, with apparent ease, made five out of five goals.

"Good job, Greenwald," James called out grudgingly. He beckoned for the four of them to descend. They did so.

"I just want to say, first of all, good job," James said as they assembled in front of them. "I don't think we've ever had chaser tryouts that were so successful. I think all four of you are brilliant, and if there were four chasers on a team, all of you would meet the requirement in a heartbeat. However, I'm sorry Mallory." He turned to her. "You did great today, but I'm sorry to say your tryout wasn't good enough. Thank you, though."

She looked at him and smiled. "No hard feelings. Maybe I'll try again next year."

"That'd be great," James smiled back.

Mallory picked up her broomstick and walked off the field. James turned to Amber, Balin and Marcella. "Congratulations. You guys were great," James said sincerely. "Welcome to the team."

Marcella cheered and hugged both Amber and Balin. The rest of the team joined them, and everyone started congratulating and introducing each other.

"Well, I'll just leave you all to get acquainted," James said. "Congratulations again. I actually have to go somewhere important, but feel free to stay and talk." With one last wave, he headed off the field.

As he walked into the castle, someone caught up to him. "Hey," said a female voice.

James turned to see Marcella walking beside him. "Marcella," he said, startled. "I thought you were back at the Quidditch field."

"Nah," she said, laughing. "I'm too excited."

"Oh," James said, not should how to respond.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you."

"Okay," James said uncertainly.

"I want to thank you for letting me on the team."

"Well, you did win the trials, fair and square," James said, albeit a bit grudgingly. He knew that she had the best tryout, but given his current skin and animosity, he wasn't sure if he could handle the awkwardness.

Marcella waved her hand aside. "I knew that, but most other captains wouldn't have let me on the team considering their current state and how much I participated in the contributions…" She looked at his pink skin.

"Oh," James said. There was a pause. "Well, uh, you're welcome, I guess." He felt himself smile at her. "No big deal. By the way, you're a great flyer. You're a great addition to our team."

"Really?" Marcella asked, lighting up. "I've always wanted to be on the team."

"Why didn't you try out, then?" James asked.

Marcella shrugged. "Lily reckoned I should put schoolwork first, and without her, passing my exams would have been very difficult. But this year, I really wanted to try out. And that girl's been so supportive that she's gone to the Quidditch pitch in the dead of the night just to watch me practice."

"I see," James said. There was another pause. Just when James thought he was over Lily Evans, her name had to be mentioned again. "Why does she hate me so much?" James asked abruptly.

Marcella looked surprised. "Lily?"

"Yeah," James said angrily. "I don't get it. Why does she hate me so much? What did I ever do to her?"

"James," Marcella sighed. "It's not what you do to her, it's what you do in front of her."

"Huh?"

Marcella smiled patiently. "Lily is stubborn. It takes a long time to win her friendship, because she lives on first impressions. She first saw you as an immature rule-breaker, and she's always thought of you as that since. Mind you, you didn't exactly do much to change it."

"But half of the time…" James paused. He didn't want to tell Marcella that he was just showing off for Lily half the time.

"James," Marcella sighed. "If you want Lily's attention, you need to think to yourself. If you guys were truly meant to be, then you'll find way."

"I'm over her," James said shortly.

"Really?" Marcella said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes," James said angrily. He was mad at himself for not believing in these words.

Marcella nodded. "Alright then." She didn't press the matter.

The duo chatted lightly and happily until they reached the Gryffindor common room. There, Marcella departed, and James, now feeling happy that it wouldn't be as awkward having Lily's friend on the team, headed off to the Room of Requirement.

When he pushed open the door, he found Sirius there, now with shaggy black fur, padded feet and a pink snout. He was on all fours, and barked as James walked in. The only problem was that the rest of his face remained the same.

"Hello, Sirius," James laughed. "Having fun?"

Sirius changed back into his human form and beamed at James. "Lots."

Remus grinned at James. "These guys have been practicing very hard ever since we got here. Even Sirius."

"Yup," Sirius said proudly. "I'm so close, only the face is left."

"I'm also really close," Peter squeaked.

"He is," Remus nodded. "Go ahead, show James."

Peter took a deep breath. It was apparent that by now the boys all had the steps memorized. With a look of deep concentration on his face, Peter sprouted fur and shrunk onto the ground. His face was still apparently unchanged, as were his hands and feet.

He transformed again, back to human size.

"That's great," James beamed. "You guys are all so close."

"We're definitely almost there," Remus agreed. "Most of the books that we've gone through say that the face is the last part to transform."

"Good," James said. "Well, I guess all that leaves is me –"

Before he could finish his sentence, he was interrupted by a loud bang from behind him. All four Marauders turned, startled, to see the clear potion they had brewed turn bright green before their eyes.

"It's time," Remus said solemnly. He walked over to the potion and added in the last ingredient; burnt dust of sage. He sprinkled the sage into the potion and watched as the potion turned clear again. "I'll set up an alarm to tell us when the potion wears off."

"Right," Sirius agreed.

"Okay," Remus said nervously. "We have an hour from this point on to try to fully transform… or else we'll have to wait another month. So… who wants to go first?"

James stepped and beamed. "Me."

"Maybe you should practice and let Sirius have his turn… after all, he and Peter were here for a while and got more practice in," Remus suggested.

"Let me have a go," James said.

Remus shrugged and stepped aside. James took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and concentrated on the steps. He felt his body glide and felt his hands become hard. He felt short fur grow on his body, and felt something heavy grow from his head.

He opened his eyes and found Remus examining him. "Close," Remus sighed. "But no cigar. Your face still hasn't transformed yet."

James transformed back into a human, with a look of disappointment on his face. "Well, we're all still close."

"Yes," Remus said impatiently. "But we only have about fifty minutes left before the potion goes void. You need to properly and fully transform, because if you don't and I feed you the potion, you guys will be partly human, and I'll still be a harm to you."

"Alright, alright," James said.

"My turn," Sirius said.

"No, let me have one more go," James said.

"You've already had your go," Sirius said impatiently.

"No really," James protested. "I'm feeling…magical."

Sirius stared at James in disbelief. "You can't be serious."

"I am," James said defensively.

"You feel…magical?" Suddenly, Sirius burst out in laughter. "Well, if _that_ isn't the stupidest thing I've heard in my life!"

James rolled his eyes. "I'm serious."

Sirius paused, then exploded in laughter again. "Come on, James, you've gotta be kidding me! We _are_ wizards, and we _are_ magical. That's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard anyone say!"

While Sirius laughed and laughed, James closed his eyes and concentrated on the steps. Remus watched the scene with curious eyes. He spotted James, fully transformed with two large antlers and a furry face, and his mouth dropped open.

"Sirius," Remus said quietly. "Still think that's the stupidest thing you've ever heard in your life?"

Sirius stopped laughing and turned around, where his mouth dropped open. A stag, fully transformed, no traces of humanity, stood in front of him, antlers bowed. "Wow," he said in awe. Peter was too surprised to speak.

Remus, however, beamed. He dipped a cup into the potion and poured the crystal contents into the stag's mouth. James the stag seemed to toss his antlers in disgust, but swallowed the potion. He seemed to glow white for a moment, then went back to normal.

James transformed back to human form, looking excited. "Did it really work, or did I just imagine it?"

"I think it really worked," Remus beamed. "The books say that once you drink the potion, all you have to do is think about the animal you're transforming into to transform yourself. Meaning no more complicated steps."

"That's bloody wicked," James grinned. "Let me try it. So I turned into…what was it…a deer?"

"A stag," Remus corrected.

"Whatever," James said. He closed his eyes and pictured a stag. Immediately, he felt his head grow heavier and felt his whole body transform.

"Brilliant!" Peter cheered.

James transformed back into a human. "You're sure that worked?"

"Absolutely," Remus grinned.

"Next time you say you feel magical, I think I'll believe you," Sirius said, still in awe.

James laughed. "Well, now I'm done being magical, mate. Your turn."

"Right," Sirius said, determined. He took a deep breath as James and Peter backed away, and closed his eyes. Immediately he felt himself transform onto two feet like all the other times, but this time… he felt hair grow on his face as well. Excited, the Sirius-dog opened his eyes and barked.

Peter started clapping. "You did it!" he squeaked.

Sirius-dog barked excitedly. Remus beamed and poured a cup of the liquid potion into Sirius's mouth. Indeed, the potion was foul tasting… but Sirius managed to force it down his throat. He felt himself glow for a bit, then wanted to transform back into human form again. He did so, and beamed at his friends.

"Perfect!" Remus beamed. "But Sirius, how were you suddenly able to do it?"

Sirius laughed. "I thought you'd know this by now, Remus. Anything James can do, I can do better. Right, Prongs?"

"Prongs?" James asked.

"Yeah," Sirius shrugged. "Those antlers of yours look like prongs… they could fork anyone of us to death."

James laughed. "I actually like that. Prongs. Yeah. It fits, you think?"

"Actually, I was joking, but hey, if you like it," Sirius laughed. "That's great."

"Okay, Peter's turn," Remus said loudly. "You can do it, Peter."

James and Sirius turned to watch Peter. Peter closed his eyes as well and began to concentrate. He grew the fur on his skin and shrank down to a small size… but still too large to be a rat. His face still wasn't covered in fur.

Peter transformed back. "Did it work?"

Remus shook his head. "Nope."

"Well, keep trying," James said as encouragingly as possible. "You'll get it."

Peter tried again and again, but still couldn't manage to get the face full of fur, though he did manage to shrink down to the size of a rat.

"I can't do it," Peter moaned dejectedly. "I just can't do it."

"Don't say that," Remus said abruptly. "If you can't even believe you can do it, then there's a rather small chance you'll actually be able to do it. Come on, Peter. We only have five minutes left until the potion goes void."

"Okay," Peter sighed. "Here goes again."

Not until the last minute before the potion goes void did Peter manage to grow fur on his face. He felt it, and was so excited that he transformed back into a human before Remus could feed him the potion.

"I did it!" he squeaked. "I did it!"

"Peter!" Sirius said loudly. "Do it again, so Remus can give you the potion!"

"Oh," Peter said, smacking his forehead. "Right!"

He transformed fully back into a rat. Remus emptied the cup into Peter's small mouth just as his alarm rang.

"That was close," Remus sighed in relief as Peter transformed back into a human.

"Too close for comfort," James agreed. "Good job, Moony."

"Moony?" Remus asked.

"Well, since Sirius gave me a nickname, I decided to give you one. The moon started this whole entire ordeal, right?"

Remus laughed. "Call me what you want. I'm just glad you all are done with this transformation stuff and nothing went horribly wrong."

"I want a nickname," Sirius said. "Anything good for a dog?"

James thought for a moment. "Well, I kind of like the padded feet."

"Padfoot," Remus suggested.

Sirius considered this for a moment, then grinned. "Padfoot. Wicked."

"What about me?" Peter squeaked.

"That's a hard one," James said. "Transform again."

Peter obliged. He ran around in a circle for a while with his bald tail hanging out, and then transformed back into a human.

"Anything?"

"Yeah," Sirius said. "I like the bald tail."

"Reminds me of a worm," James said. "A bald worm."

Remus looked at James in disbelief. "James. All worms are bald."

"I knew that," James scoffed.

"Prat," Sirius laughed. "As for Peter, how about Wormtail?"

"I like that," Remus nodded.

"Why do I always get the gross name?" Peter protested.

"I'm Prongs, so don't feel so bad," James laughed.

Remus plopped down on a couch, exhausted but happy. "Perfect." He paused, looking excited. "Tonight, gentlemen, witnesses the birth of Prongs, Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail. The Marauders."

"Right," James grinned. "And let Hogwarts never forget it."


	36. Marauders in the Moonlight

A/N: I am so sorry! I know it's feeble to give an excuse, but here goes anyways. I was swamped in the longest and most useless project in the entire world. Once again, I apologize for the delay. I'm definitely not quitting this story, I'm not even halfway through!

As for this chapter, it's my feeble attempt at a full moon night. After lots of editing, I still don't like it, but I hope you all like it. Thanks for being so patient!

Special thanks to the reviewers: emmys, windstar, ellieo, Kates Master, miwako , redcrushedvelvet, .., Tauril Hawk, and LovePadfoot5867. You're all brilliant; thanks for everything!

* * *

_November, 1974_

* * *

Marauders in the Moonlight

"Ready?"

It was what seemed like the hundredth time that Remus had asked that question on the same night.

"Yes!" James, Sirius and Peter yelled at the same time.

"All right!" Remus said defensively. "Just curious."

"You've asked that exact same question countless times, Remus," James groaned. "Please, please don't ask us again."

"I'm sorry, okay?" Remus sighed. "I'm really nervous."

"It seems we're more nervous than you are, as we should be," Sirius said sarcastically. "That's why we're not asking you the same question every ten seconds."

"Give it a rest," Remus snapped. "I can't control my fears."

"If anyone should be nervous, it should be us," Peter said quietly.

"But you guys have never stayed with me for a full moon," Remus sighed. "A werewolf is not to be taken lightly."

"We're not taking you lightly," Sirius said.

"On a full moon, I'm dangerous," Remus said. "You guys need to be in your Animagus form for the whole night, do you hear me? Or else I would turn you into werewolves."

"We hear you," Peter, Sirius and James said together.

"Good." Remus paused. "Could you all turn into your Animagus form for me again?"

Sirius groaned. "Remus!"

"No, really," Remus insisted.

"Okay," James said, giving in. "But Remus, this is honestly the last time."

"Fine," Remus said.

James, Sirius and Peter stood up and spread out. One minute Remus was looking at his three best friends. The next minute he was looking at a stag, a rat and a dog. A second later, they had all turned back into their human forms.

"Happy?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah," Remus said. "But remember, tonight, you all have to stay in your animal form the entire time."

"We know!" Sirius said loudly, throwing up his hands in frustration.

"Remus," James said calmly. "Honestly, we're not stupid. You don't have to worry about us anymore. We'll be fine. We'll take care of each other."

"Promise?" Remus asked.

James nodded solemnly. "We promise."

"Good," Remus sighed in relief. "Now, how about transforming again?"

"Remus!" James, Peter and Sirius groaned together.

Remus threw up his hands. "Just kidding."

"I cannot believe I'm still pink," James groaned loudly.

Sirius roared with laughter. "I can't believe it either. But a pink stag, you have to admit, is pretty funny."

James scowled. "That Lily Evans…I'll get her back if it's the last thing I do."

"So you're really over her," Remus said.

"I thought I made that perfectly clear?" James said peevishly.

Remus shrugged. "I suppose."

"Well all right then, moving on," James said.

"It's almost time," Remus said nervously. "You guys all know the plan, right?"

"Yes," James, Sirius and Peter chorused.

"Should I outline it again?"

"No," James, Sirius and Peter groaned.

Remus ignored them. "Now, remember, when Professor McGonagall comes to get me, you guys stand there. Don't go out of the common room until you can see from the window that we've gone to the tree. And don't act like you know what's going on either. Okay?"

"Yes, we know," James sighed. "Moony, stop fretting. I promise you, we'll be fine."

Remus looked uncertain, but nodded.

The clock struck five o'clock right then. Remus jumped up nervously. "Well then," he said in an unusually high voice. "This is it, guys. Now, remember, act natural."

"Look who's talking," Sirius muttered.

Remus narrowed his eyes, but didn't respond. The other marauders followed Remus down the stairs to the common room. "Right," Remus said, once the four of them were assembled in front of the couches. "Now, she's coming to get me in a couple of minutes, so just…act like you would any other time."

"Right," James said. He slumped onto the nearest couch and picked up a random book that a student had left behind. He began to leaf through the pages.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Remus strode over and plucked the book out of James's hands. "What are you _doing_?" Remus asked.

"I'm acting natural," James said.

"Since when do you read?" Remus said, raising an eyebrow.

Sirius and Peter burst out in laughter at this. "Oy, Prongs, he's got a point, you know," Sirius grinned.

James scowled. "Fine." He looked around. "Well how am I supposed to act natural, then?"

"Start eating," Sirius shrugged.

"Prat," James said, grinning. "You're the one that thinks about food day and night."

"I do not," Sirius said, pretending to look offended. "I'm a growing boy. I need my nutrients."

James snorted with laughter.

"Well, how do we act natural?" Peter asked, shrugging.

"You'd better think of something fast," Remus said urgently. "Because here comes McGonagall."

Sure enough, the portrait door swung open and green robes clambered through the hole and into the common room. Remus smiled nervously at Professor McGonagall as she made his way toward him.

Remus turned around to see what his friends were doing. James and Sirius were now teaching a non-existent lesson in Charms to Peter, who looked halfway between laughter and a nervous breakdown. James and Sirius were trying their best to avoid actually demonstrating any charms in front of the professor, trying to avoid the fact that they might accidentally cast a jinx they had practiced for Snape.

"Good evening, gentlemen," Professor McGonagall said.

Peter, James and Sirius turned around from their so-called lesson to look at her.

"Of course, as you know, I will be taking Mr. Lupin here to see his ill mother," Professor McGonagall said gravely. "So, goodbye." As this she led him out of the portrait hole. Remus waved one last time at his friends before the portrait door swung closed on them.

As soon as Remus and Professor McGonagall were out of sight, the remaining marauders ran to the window and peered out to the Whomping Willow. Five minutes later, James saw Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall freeze the tree with a long stick. Beckoning to Sirius and Peter, James walked quietly out of the portrait hole.

"We won't need this until we're outside," James said, patting the invisibility cloak that was under his robes. "But we need to be quiet, in case we run into any Prefects that question where we're going.

Peter and Sirius nodded their consent. The three boys sneaked out of the castle and onto the grounds, where James took out his invisibility cloak and threw it over the three of them, and not a moment too soon. Just then, Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall climbed out of the hole in the tree, and walked back towards the castle.

"That was close," Peter whispered once the two women were gone.

"Yeah," James whispered. Dark was beginning to fall, and the gray sky seemed to blot more and more with darkness as each moment passed. "Right. Now how did we get in last time?"

"We just went down the hole after Madam Pomfrey and McGonagall left," Sirius shrugged. "Shouldn't be any different this time."

The three friends walked toward the Whomping Willow. This time, though, before they could get within reach of the tree's branches, the tree seemed to come alive again. The wind blew hard, and suddenly the willow seemed to shake its head and stretch its branches in a yawn.

"That's not good," Peter moaned. "What are we supposed to do now?"

"Maybe if we inch on it closely…" Sirius said, stepping closer to the tree.

"Sirius, don't," James said urgently. "That tree will murder you."

Sirius didn't listen, but stepped closer, arms trying to reach out to the knot in the tree. Suddenly, a branch swung toward his face, and only by pure luck did he manage to duck in time and avoid the collision.

James pulled Sirius back. "We can't get to that knot without killing ourselves," he said.

"Well what are we supposed to do?" Sirius exploded. "No one is telling me that we spent three bloody years on these transformations, all to find out that we can't get past a bloody tree!"

"We obviously can't get across," James said, frustrated. Suddenly, an idea dawned on him. "Or maybe we can."

"Come off it," Sirius snapped. "How are we supposed to get to that knot to freeze the tree?"

"Not us, exactly," James said, grinning.

"Well, stop messing around and tell us already," Sirius said impatiently.

"Peter," James said, turning to his friend. "Think you can transform?"

"Now?" Peter asked.

"Yeah."

Peter shrugged and obliged. James squinted his eyes as he looked from Peter to the tree. "Okay, transform back," James said.

Peter transformed back. "What's going on?"

James grinned broadly. "I think Peter is small enough to make it through the branches of the willow without getting hurt."

Peter paled instantly. "Me?"

"Yes, you," James said. "Me and Sirius are too large to hope to get through without getting killed."

"You want – me? To run through those branches?" Peter asked again.

"Yes, and I think it's a brilliant idea," Sirius said. "Give it a shot, will you?"

"I don't know," Peter said nervously.

"You're the only one who can do this," James said encouragingly. "Come on, Peter. We need you."

The color started to come back to Peter's face as he looked at his friends. They needed him. They couldn't do this without him. He smiled. "Really?"

"Yes," Sirius said impatiently. "Now, do it already."

Peter obliged. The gray rat shuffled nervously up to the tree, eyeing the branches apprehensively as he slowly approached it.

"What if this doesn't work?" Sirius whispered nervously to James.

"Have a little faith, will you?" James said quietly.

They watched with bated breath as Peter the rat darted between the branches of the tree. Thrice the tree lashed out at him, but as he was so small, he could, with agility, dart away without any harm. In what seemed like no time at all, Peter the rat had touched the knot in the tree with his tiny paws, and the branches of murder froze.

James and Sirius cheered as Peter transformed back into a human. "That was brilliant!" Sirius said, grinning as he and James joined Peter at the trunk of the old tree.

Peter smiled with delight. It was the first time that Sirius had ever paid him a compliment, and he felt like he truly belonged.

"Let's go before Remus transforms," Sirius said, beckoning them to the tunnel.

The three friends ran along the pathway. Behind them, out on the Hogwarts grounds, the sun was setting rapidly. Only a dim sliver of light remained behind the darkening night. They ran along the tunnel, barely able to see where they were going. Twice, Peter crashed into somebody. Overall, the bruises collected in that tunnel were disastrous.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, the trio made their way into the Shrieking Shack. As soon as they entered, they saw Remus sitting on a beaten couch, looking frazzled. He immediately jumped up as James, Sirius and Peter approached him.

"Where were you?" he asked frantically. "I was beginning to think that something went wrong or something detained you from getting here!"

"Something did detain us from getting here," Sirius said grudgingly. "That bloody tree."

Remus smacked his palm onto his forehead. "I'm so stupid! I forgot all about that." He looked at the three of them. "How did you manage to get to the trunk?"

"Peter did it," James said, rather proudly. "He transformed into a rat, and being so small, was able to slip between the branches and touch the knot."

"Wow, brilliant job, Peter," Remus grinned.

Peter flushed with happiness.

"Right. Now, I've found a place to keep your cloak, James," Remus said. He led his three friends to a little trunk upstairs in the bedroom. "This trunk isn't as damaged as most of the other furniture."

James lifted open the little bronze trunk and placed his cloak safely inside it. Then, he and the rest followed Remus back down the stairs.

Remus sat down on the couch again. The four friends watched the darkening sky nervously, unsure of what to say.

"There's still time to go back," Remus said quietly, turning to his friends. "There's still time to go back to the castle."

"You're crazy," Sirius said, shaking his head. "Do you really think we would back down, Remus? After all those vows and promises, I thought you knew us better than that."

"I do," Remus sighed. "I'm just…"

"Worried," James finished. "We've heard that one countless times."

"We're your friends, and we'll be here for you," Peter said.

"No matter what," Sirius finished. "We've spent too much time and gone too far to back down now. We can do it."

"So you're telling me you're not scared at all?" Remus asked doubtfully.

"Are you kidding?" Sirius said quietly. "Of course I'm scared. I'm scared to death. But I believe we can help you, Remus. I can help you. And right now, that's all that matters."

Remus nodded and let out a little smiled. "Thank you."

As soon as those last words escaped his lips, his calm face turned into a face of horror.

"Remus?" Peter asked tentatively.

"Transform!" Remus commanded hoarsely. Then, his whole body went rigid. Beams of moonlight hit dramatically on his skin, and his limbs began to shake uncontrollably. His face turned pale, and the bones on his body seemed to mold to fit his new form. His pupils bulged, and Remus began to grow and howl in pain. Fur sprouted. Teeth grew. Paws grew sharp nails. Before long, Peter, Sirius and James found themselves looking at a full-grown werewolf.

Remus the wolf was exactly how Sirius remembered him. But this time, it was different. This time, he was ready. He was ready to help.

Quickly, the three friends transformed. James charged up to the wolf as the wolf lunged at him. They began to wrestle violently. _Come on, Remus!_ James screamed inside his head as he used his antlers to prevent from getting clawed. _You can do it, you can gain control, remember your friends!_

Padfoot charged forward along with Wormtail, and they stood together with Prongs. The wolf snarled, but then seemed to shake his head. As if confused, the wolf took a good, long looks at the stag, the dog and the rat, and seemed to recognize who they were. Then, it bared its teeth, not menacingly, but in a grin.

Prongs and Padfoot grinned at each other happily. They had done it! They brought out the Remus in the wolf, and Remus would no longer hurt himself in his transformations. Remus himself was in awe. It seemed the first time during his transformations that he had control. He could feel the wolfish part of his brain fight to get back in the dominant spot, but he shook his head to clear it. He wouldn't give in to the wolf. No, not tonight. Tonight was his night. He had to keep his mind strong, he had to keep his mind on his friends. If he concentrated on them, if he concentrated on the people that made his life worth living, he could keep control. All he needed was them. If he fought and kept up the thoughts of who they were, he would survive. He would live.

Grinning still, Moony beckoned his friends to follow him. They obliged. Moony led them to a room with wooden cupboards that presumably looked like the kitchen. Remus was amazed. He had never taken the time to fully explore the house, as he was unconscious inside the wolf every transformation. This was the first time he truly admired the beat-up cupboards and the broken cabinets.

Prongs lifted up his antlers and opened the refrigerator door. Spiders and ants leaped from the fridge onto his antlers. Prongs seemed to shake his head violently, trying to throw the bugs off. Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail laughed at this as only animals could laugh until Prongs turned around threateningly with what looked like a scowl.

Moony smiled, and beckoned to his friends again. Seeing the kitchen from the wolf's point of view was so interesting… he wanted to see the rest of the house. The four friends pranced out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Soon, they had explored the bathrooms and the bedrooms. All had beat-up furniture, but Remus never remembered going up the stairs, and he didn't think he would remember it. The large bedroom was moth-eaten and had scratches on the bedpost. The smaller bedroom, the one that contained the trunk, remained weary but in decent condition. The bathroom smelled horrible, especially the toilet.

After visiting the bathroom, the four friends headed down the stairs again, Prongs leading the way. As he walked down, Prongs grazed his leg on the stairs. Drops of blood trickled out, but Prongs shook his head, as if to tell his friends that he was okay.

Moony stood on the stairs, transfixed. He could smell blood. He could smell blood.

He had to attack.

Suddenly, without warning, Moony lunged at Prongs. The two animals tumbled down the stairs together, landing with a loud crash on the floor below. Moony was growling and howling, while Prong used his antlers to try and battle Moony out of the way without hurting his friend.

_No! _Remus screamed inside his head. _I'm in control! I won't let you control me! I won't let you!_ It was the blood that drove him, and he knew it. As soon as he smelled it, all control that he had was lost, and the wolf inside took over. Remus fought and fought, but the wolf was stronger. Time and time again, half-consciously, he felt himself attack James. He needed the flesh…blood.

Alarmed, Padfoot threw himself between Prongs and Moony. Prongs, whimpering, scuttled out of the way, physically hurt. The great black dog and the werewolf growled at each other, then lunged. From aside, Peter could tell that Sirius was being careful in trying not to actually hurt Moony, but the same couldn't be said for Remus. Moony the wolf lunged at Sirius relentlessly, ripping at his throat, biting savagely. Sirius was getting worn out by now, trying to defend himself from the oncoming assaults of Remus.

_No!_ Remus was still screaming inside his head. But by now, he had lost control. He was slipping further and further into unconsciousness.

Prongs, by now, had revived. The cuts over his legs and body made him weaker than before, but he still lunged back up to Padfoot and Moony. Using his antler, Prongs pushed Moony back away from Padfoot, so Padfoot could rest. Then, Moony and Prongs began to wrestle.

Wormtail stood at the side, squeaking in terror. He didn't know what he would do if both Padfoot and Prongs were too worn out to fight.

Remus was battling with the wolf. _I refuse to give up!_ He screamed, shaking his head. He felt himself slowly slide back into consciousness, but every bit of it was draining the energy out of him. But he wouldn't give up, not on his friends. Slowly, after what seemed like hours, Remus finally felt like he was gaining control. Slowly, he battled the wolf out of his mind.

Prongs and Padfoot, who had been taking turns wrestling Moony, now were both tackling him, exhausted. Just when Prongs thought this night would never end, Moony stopped attacking them, shook his head, and sat down on the ground. Remus was exhausted after battling with the wolf. He had control now, though it had taken a long time to gain. Relieved, Prongs and Padfoot sat as well, and Wormtail cautiously came over.

The four animals entertained each other for the rest of the long night. Remus the wolf seemed to find Wormtail extremely amusing; many times, Moony picked up Peter by his tail, amid many squeaks from the protesting rat, and batted him around playfully in his hand, grinning as only a werewolf could. Prongs and Padfoot were also eager to help amuse their friend.

After a couple of hours, the sun peeked over the mountains. It rose up bit by bit, illuminating the room with a warm glow. Moony grew rigid; he began, slowly, to shrink. Soon, Remus Lupin was crumpled on the floor, weak and weary.

James, Sirius and Peter transformed back into their human forms. "Remus," James said softly, walking over to his friend. "Are you okay?"

Slowly, Remus opened his eyes. He sat up groggily, then grinned broadly. "This is the first time I've been conscious in the morning," he said brightly.

James, Sirius and Peter laughed. "Glad to see you're okay."

The familiar swishing of the willow outside suddenly stopped. "Up the stairs," Remus whispered urgently. "That's Madam Pomfrey!"

The other three didn't need telling twice. They scurried up the stairs and lunged into the bedroom, not a minute too soon. James extracted his invisibility cloak from the trunk. He could hear Madam Pomfrey downstairs, fussing over Remus, who was feigning unconsciousness.

"Oh, poor dear!" she was saying. "But this time you seem to have less scratches than usual…in fact, hardly any… "

They heard her footsteps receded back out of the tunnel. Cautiously, James, Sirius and Peter then walked back down the stairs. Once back into the living room, the three friends threw on the invisibility cloak and headed out of the tunnel, elated.

James had a big long scar on his face that was bleeding freely. Sirius had scratches upon his arm. But all that didn't matter.

They had helped Remus. They had saved him from pain.

They could do anything.

* * *

"Do we get to sleep?" Peter groaned. They four boys had arrived again at the dormitories. It was six o'clock in the morning, and all four were exhausted.

"I need to shower first," James said tiredly. Blood was smeared all over his face, a souvenir of his battle with the werewolf. "I look gory."

Sirius forced a smile. "Yeah, you do."

"How many hours of sleep can we get?" Peter asked, rubbing his eyes.

"At most, three, so we won't look suspicious," Sirius said. "Lucky it's a Sunday…"

James dragged his feet tiredly up to the bathrooms to take a shower. Peter collapsed on his bed, and Sirius was unsure whether to take a shower or go directly to sleep. Eventually, he himself got in the shower after James had gone out.

The four boys slept as long as they would allow themselves. The scar on James's face was still large, but he had washed all the blood off. Sirius had gashes on his arm, which he waved off, unconcerned.

Eventually, they got up. "What is that smell?" James asked, frowning as he put on fresh clothes.

"Don't know," Sirius said, shrugging. "It smells gross." He sniffed, frowning. "I think it's Peter."

Peter immediately turned red. "What?"

"Oh yeah," James said, yawning. "You didn't take a shower, did you."

Peter shook his head.

"How can I put this nicely…?" Sirius said. "I can't. Peter, you stink worse than Hagrid's dirty creatures."

"What do you want me to do?" Peter asked.

"Take a shower," James said. He and Sirius dragged Peter into the shower, turned on the water, and shoved him in.

After a while, Peter came out, clothes wet, teeth chattering. "The water was cold."

Sirius roared with laughter.

Once Peter dried up and got dressed, the three friends headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast. They were all famished. They planned to go visit Remus in the hospital wing after they finished eating.

"What happened to James Potter?" Lily whispered to Marcella as the two girls passed the boys in the hallway. Lily had gaped at James's scar on his face.

Marcella looked concerned. "I don't know. But that looks like it hurts…"

"Yeah," Lily said. Suddenly she giggled. "He's still pink."

Marcella grinned. "Good prank, eh?"

"The best," Lily laughed.

After a breakfast in which Sirius ate over five plates of food, the Marauders headed up to the hospital wing to visit Remus. At the door, they were halted by Madam Pomfrey. "Just where do you think you're going?" She said, nostrils flared.

"Oh, we're just up here to, uh, clean the beds for detention," Sirius said charmingly. The boys had agreed that they wouldn't say they were visiting Remus; they would be shot down for sure. Madam Pomfrey would also grow suspicious, because she thought that the boys thought that Remus was visiting his sick mother.

"Clean beds for detention," Madam Pomfrey said, eyebrow raised. "Nice try, boys, but Professor McGonagall would have informed me of this. I don't know why you're trying to break into the hospital wing, but go." With that, she slammed the double doors in their faces.

"Now what," Peter said, looking at Sirius.

"Nice going, Padfoot," James said. "We're going to clean the hospital beds?"

"Like you could have come up with something better," Sirius scowled.

"Whatever," James said. "We're going to Plan B."

"We have a plan B?" Sirius asked, amused.

James extracted his invisibility cloak from a pocket of his robes. "Right. Now, just follow me, and don't make a sound."

"It'll be a miracle if we can pull this off," Peter groaned as James threw the cloak over the three of them.

"Have a little faith, will you?" James said. Invisible, he knocked on the door again.

Looking agitated, Madam Pomfrey once again threw open the doors. Puzzled, she stepped out into the hallway to see who knocked on the door. Seizing the opportunity, James beckoned silently to his friends to follow him. They slipped through the second doorway just as Madam Pomfrey closed the doors again.

They saw her head back to her office, shaking her head. Then, slowly and silently, the Marauders made their way to Remus's bed.

Remus was staring at the ceiling, looking quite bored. There were a couple of scratches on him, but they were all light and faded, and half of which, Sirius suspected, weren't even from this particular full moon.

"Remus," James whispered from under the cloak as he drew near.

Remus jumped in his bed. "James?" he whispered back.

James threw back the cloak, revealing himself, Sirius, and Peter. "Yeah," he whispered.

Remus looked concerned. "What happened to-"

"Hold on," James whispered. He took out his wand, pointed it at Madam Pomfrey's office, and whispered "_muffliato"_.

"We're okay now," James said, beaming. "Madam Pomfrey can't hear us."

"Nice spell," Remus said, impressed. "Where did you learn it?"

"It's a popular spell that's going around school," James shrugged. "Don't know who originally started it. Useful, eh?"

"Very," Remus beamed. James stuffed his cloak back into his pocket.

"So, what were you saying, Remus?" Sirius pressed.

"Oh. Yeah. What happened to your face?" Remus asked James.

"This?" James asked, tenderly reaching up to touch the scar. "Oh. That's nothing."

"That was me, wasn't it," Remus said in a low voice.

"Yeah," James said hesitantly. "But don't worry, I'm fine."

"Maybe –"

"Don't even start," James said, cutting him off. "We're not going to stop accompanying you on your full moon nights."

Remus looked surprised, then grinned. "It scares me how much you guys know me."

James laughed. "It scares me too."

"So how are you," Peter asked Remus quietly.

"Better than ever," Remus said truthfully. "I think it's the first full moon here that I haven't hurt myself."

"Well then, gentlemen, we've accomplished our goal," Sirius said, grinning.

"Bloody wicked," James nodded.

"Truthfully, I'm more relieved than anything else," Remus said, smiling. "Nothing really went wrong."

"Exactly," James said. "I can't wait to do it again next month."

Remus stared at James in disbelief. "You're insane."

The group burst out into raucous laughter.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?"

The Marauders turned to face the angry Madam Pomfrey with guilty looks on their faces.

"Didn't I tell you you couldn't come in here?" she snarled in anger. "This boy needs his rest!"

"Uh oh, I guess the Muffliato spell wore off," James muttered under his breath.

"What was that, Mr. Potter?" Madam Pomfrey asked dangerously. "And why are you here?"

"We were cleaning Remus's bed?" Sirius offered.

"Out! OUT!" she shouted in rage. "I don't even want to know how you got in here in the first place! OUT!" Madam Pomfrey flicked her wand, and Peter, Sirius and James were thrown out of the room. The door slammed behind him.

"That was violent." Sirius said, rubbing his arm.

"Well, gentlemen, we're truly successful," James beamed. "I cannot wait until next month."

"Me neither," Sirius laughed. "Blood and lack of sleep puts me in a happy position."

Peter shook his head. "You're both crazy."


	37. A New Friendship

A/N: I truly, once again, apologize! I had a trial project, three tests, an essay, and God knows what else! But I'll make it up to you somehow, I promise. Sorry!

As to this chapter. It's necessary, but not necessarily exciting. It really helps develop the story, but I guess it's not the best chapter. I don't really like it, but i hope you all like it.

Thanks to all the readers and reviewers, and special thanks to: miwako, FiveByFive13, emmys, redcrushedvelvet, Kates Master's Sister, windstar, Valandar, ellieo, Tauril Hawk, and everyone else that reads my fanfiction! I love you all! Happy Holidays!

* * *

_November, 1974_

* * *

A New Friendship

Remus was back on his feet in no time, and things ran as smoothly as ever. The four friends now had a bond stronger than anything did, completely unbreakable. They always told each other that they would stick by each other, through the thick and the thin, the highs and the lows. Before now, it was just words. Now, it showed in their actions.

Though the friendship of the marauders grew stronger with every passing day, the same could not be said for the world around them. The war that was raging in their world was growing more ominous, to the point where children were dragged out of school as they found out that their parents had been murdered.

But it seemed nothing could dampen the spirits of the Marauders. It was right before Christmas break, and exciting things were taking place around the castle. The first Quidditch game of the season for the Gryffindors were coming up, and everyone was riled up and incredibly excited.

"The nerve of that Snivellus!" Sirius fumed, walking through the dormitory doorway on a Sunday afternoon.

"Uh oh," Remus smiled calmly. "What did he do now."

"He ducked when we aimed a spell at him," James said regretfully, coming up from behind Sirius. He grabbed his broom from the corner of the room.

"The shame," Remus said, laughing.

"So who did you hit instead?" Peter asked interestedly.

"Bertram Aubrey," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "That geek of a kid."

"McGonagall saw it all," James said. "Double detention."

"So what happened to dear old Bertram?" Remus asked, amused.

"James and I were practicing the head-swelling charm," Sirius shrugged. "Of course, Snivellus was our first test subject, but hey, Aubrey worked as well…"

"You should have seen him," James said, guffawing. "His head swelled to twice the normal size."

"His head was bigger than James's," Sirius said, laughing. "And I didn't think that was possible."

"Nice," Remus said sarcastically. "So, when's detention?"

"Tonight," Sirius said.

"I thought you had a Quidditch practice tonight, James," Remus frowned.

"Well, Sirius is having his detention tonight, I'm having it tomorrow," James said, grinning.

"How did you manage to weasel out of this one?"

"Mind you, I'm doing triple detention tomorrow night," James shrugged. "But McGonagall was almost nice about it. I think she cares about the Quidditch team as much as you or I do."

Peter laughed. "Wow. I never knew that."

"Me neither," James grinned. He glanced at his watch. "Speaking of which… I should be down on the Quidditch field soon. This is our first and last practice before our first game."

"Yeah, and I'll head on to detention," Sirius shrugged, grinning. "Can't wait to clean more bird dung out of animal cages."

"Sounds like fun," Remus said sarcastically.

"Are you coming with me?" James asked him.

Remus shook his head. "I'm going to help Peter practice that Transfiguration spell. It's going to come up in our O.W.L.'s, you know."

Sirius groaned. "Those stupid tests?"

"They aren't stupid," Remus reprimanded, while James sniggered.

"Whatever you say, Moony," Sirius said, shrugging.

"Right," Remus said, rolling his eyes. "You guys need to get going."

"Okay, see you," James said, heading out the door with Sirius.

Once outside of the common room, James and Sirius separated. James clutched his broomstick as he walked down to the field, heart pounding nervously. It felt like his first Quidditch practice, and in essence, it was… it was the first Quidditch practice with him as captain.

"Why am I so nervous?" James asked himself, frowning.

Trying to lighten his nerves, he hummed to himself on the way down.

"Nice music, Potter," a voice said cheerfully from behind James.

James jumped a mile, and turned to see Marcella walking towards him, broom in hand. "You scared me," he said, half-agitated, half-grateful to see her.

"Sorry," she said, laughing, catching up to him.

"No problem," he said. The duo started walking together. "So where are you going?"

"Same place you are," she smiled. "Quidditch pitch. Quidditch practice, oh Quidditch captain."

"Right," James said, rather sheepishly.

There was a silence.

"So… the pink's wearing off," she said, amused.

James flushed. "I guess." His skin was a definitely lighter pink for the past couple of days. Though it hadn't completely worn off yet, he was glad to see it go. He was tired of people calling him the Pink Puppet.

"Looks better now," Marcella grinned.

"Hey, lay off the skin, will you?" James said testily.

"Sorry," she said, laughing. "And I promise I won't call you the Pink Puppet."

James cracked a grin.

"Now there's that famous Potter smile," she said. "Haven't seen it in a while."

"Really," James said, amused.

"Yeah. By the way, is your face okay? What happened?"

Confused, James reached up to touch the scar on his face. "Oh. Yeah. It's healing. Uh, I accidentally tripped," he offered lamely.

She nodded, not wanting to press the matter further.

"Nervous?" he asked.

"Of what? First Quidditch practice of the season?"

"I'll take that as a no," James said.

Marcella laughed. "You can take that as a 'hell yeah'."

"Really?" James asked, surprised. "I don't take you to be the type that's scared of anything."

"Not scared, per se," Marcella said thoughtfully as they rounded a corner. "Nervous. Actually, I take that back. I _am_ scared that I'll mess up and be thrown off the team."

"You won't be," James said, albeit grudgingly. "You were the best Chaser we had in the tryouts."

"Do I sense resentment in your tone?" Marcella said, smiling.

"Maybe," James said, smiling uncertainly back. "Maybe I'm jealous."

"And why would you be jealous?"

"You flew better than me at my tryouts," James said, grinning.

Marcella laughed. "Oh, is that it? Well, I'm sorry to burst your bubble. In all honesty, though, I've never seen a more brilliant Seeker in my whole life."

"Thanks," James said, feeling himself smile at that comment. "Still scared?"

"A bit," she admitted. "My parents always believed I would turn out a strong girl, you know. Brave. Fearless. Believe it or not my name means 'warrior'. But I learned that fear is fine. In fact, fear makes you stronger, because of that sense of pride and rush of excitement you feel when you conquer your fears." She paused, her brown eyes smiling. "So I'm going to go into this practice scared and nervous, but I'll come out stronger and better for it."

James stared at her, impressed. "Wow," he managed to say.

She laughed.

They walked in silence for a while, and they were nearing the doors of the castle. As they pushed the door open, James felt the urge to talk to her about something that had been bugging him.

"Can I tell you something?" James said.

"Yeah," Marcella answered.

"I thought it would be awkward having you on the Quidditch team."

She nodded, dark hair swishing in the cold winter wind. "That's completely understandable."

"It is?" James asked, surprised.

"It's about Lily, right?"

James nodded.

"Well," Marcella said thoughtfully. "I thought it might be. You see, I had the exact same thoughts."

"You did?" James asked, even more surprised.

She laughed. "Yeah. I did. Look, you and Lily don't like each other. That's understandable. I've had to watch you guys squabble and prank each other for five years."

"So you had doubts about joining the Quidditch team?"

"Absolutely," Marcella nodded. "Awkwardness is a huge stepping stone to get over. I was having second thoughts about joining, mainly because you were still pink. Dislike for me tempered with the skin might have given me a huge disappointment as to my chances of joining the team."

"I'm not that biased," James said snippily. "I know a good Quidditch player when I see one."

"Well I know that now," Marcella said. "I didn't know much about you, James. And I'm glad you let me on the team; we get to know each other better."

James smiled. "Yeah. My feelings exactly."

Finally the duo had reached the Quidditch field. The rest of the team was assembled there, broomsticks in hand.

"Right," James said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. "This is our first and last Quidditch practice before our first game. We have a great team assembled here, and I'm absolutely confident we can bring home that Quidditch Cup!"

The rest of the team cheered.

"So today, we're going to have a scrimmage," James said. "Chasers, you're going to work on getting the ball past Perry, and Perry, you need to try and defend the goals. Beaters, practice aiming, not at the players, but aim at _not_ hitting the players. Don't hit too hard so no one will sustain a serious injury if you aim misses. And I'll release the Snitch and weave through you all for a while. Okay?"

The team cheered again. Soon, they were off.

James observed from afar as the Chasers worked to try and put the Quaffle through the hoops. Though the brilliance of his old teammates weren't there, the team still had some amazing plays.

James marveled at the endurance and willingness of his players, especially Marcella. Daniel accidentally hit her twice; once in the arms and once in the stomach, but she just kept playing like nothing had happened. In face, she, Amber and Balin scored over three hundred points on Perry.

Perry was having problems. It seemed that the easiest of saves he fumbled, and the hardest of saves he managed to conquer.

"Alright everyone, that's enough," James called after two hours. The team landed on the ground and assembled before him.

"That was brilliant," James said sincerely. "Keep this up, and we'll slaughter Slytherin. Perry, can I see you for a bit?"

"Sure," Perry nodded.

As the rest of the team left, James pulled Perry aside. "I noticed you were having some problems with the easier saves," James began. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Perry hung his head. "I know. I'm sorry," he said sadly. "I'm so frustrated… I just can't do it."

"But you've made some of the most spectacular saves in the history of Hogwarts Quidditch," James said encouragingly. "Is there a specific reason that you can make those amazing saves, but not necessarily the ones closer to you?"

Perry looked thoughtful. "Well, I guess I'm just more scared of the Quaffle when it's coming at me and zooming so close to me. I know that after, what, three years of Quidditch, I shouldn't be so afraid, but it's an odd feeling that I can't let go of."

James nodded. "Well, maybe there's something I can do to help with that."

"Really?" Perry asked, looking surprised. "I thought you were going to kick me off the team."

It was James's turn to look surprised. "No!" he said. "I wouldn't do that. I think you're a brilliant Keeper, but we just need to work on some distancing. Do you have some spare time right now?"

Perry nodded. "Sure."

"Okay, then I'm going to aim some Quaffles. Try to defend the goal as best as you can."

The two boys ascended their brooms and zoomed into the sky. James, though out of practice as a Chaser, was still able to aim incredibly well. Pretty soon, he confirmed that the only way Perry would be able to make saves was if he stood out of the way as the Quaffle came toward him.

"Perry, can we try something?" James called out.

"Sure," Perry said, flying toward James. "What's the plan?"

"Do you think maybe you could always fly about five feet above the goal posts?" James said. "Maybe the Quaffle will never come close enough for you to fumble it."

"That's a good idea," Perry said, nodding his head. He flew back to the goalposts, except now he floated above the three hoops. "Here?" he called out to James.

"A little higher," James shouted.

"Here?" Perry shouted.

"No, a bit more," James called back. Perry flew a little higher, now looking uncertain. "Perfect," James said loudly.

Hoping that this new strategy would cure Perry of his problems with the Quaffle, James took a deep breath, threw back his arm, and released the Quaffle. He watched, as if in slow motion, as Perry magnetically moved to ward the Quaffle from above, and stopped it far before it could even reach the goal area.

"I did it!" Perry gasped, looking surprised.

James beamed and cheered. Looking now more confident than he ever had been, Perry again went to his spot above the hoops. James tried a completely different shot, but Perry caught it easily.

"Brilliant!" James said as he and Perry descended to the ground after half an hour. James was ecstatic. He tried every single brilliant shot that he could muster, and only two made it past Perry. That boy was like a magnet to the Quaffle. "Brilliant! That was great! I'm wondering how Chasers at the tryouts even get one Quaffle past you."

Perry laughed a rare laugh. "I guess I try less," he shrugged. "And remember, the easy saves I fumble. But mostly, they really and honestly were brilliant. Especially that Marcella girl… her aim is amazing."

"I agree with you there," James said, smiling. This time, there was no grudge in his voice. He truly appreciated Marcella on his team.

He waved goodbye to Perry and headed up to the Gryffindor tower alone with his broomstick.

"That's very admirable of you," a voice said, joining him on his trek back to the common room.

"Marcella!" James said, jumping. "That's twice today. What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you to finish, actually," she grinned, eyes sparkling. "I was up in the stands the whole time you and Perry were having the Quidditch moment."

"Really."

"Yeah," she shrugged. "I was actually practicing a spell on a quill I had brought along, as Lily was at Prefect duty. But mainly, I just wanted to congratulate you."

"On what?" James asked.

"Well, not many captains would be so patient as to spend individual time with the Keeper to make sure their skills were refined," she said, smiling. "It takes a truly dedicated person, and a true friend."

"Thanks," James said gratefully. "That means a lot. I always knew that Perry had it in him, it's just that none of the former captains…"

"Took the time to go one-on-one," Marcella finished. "Like I said, it takes true dedication and friendship."

James paused, unsure of what to say. "Thanks," he finally uttered out.

"No problem," Marcella said.

They walked in silence for a while, rounding the corner. Suddenly a water balloon dropped out of thin air, landing and exploding on Marcella.

"Hey!" she said loudly, her hair dripping wet. "Who did that? That was not funny."

Peeves, cackling, spiraled out from above. "Like my little trick?"

"No!" Marcella said indignantly. "It's freezing outside, and now I am too! I don't want to catch a cold."

Peeves cackled again, and chucked another water balloon at her, which, thankfully, missed.

"Peeves, stop it!" Marcella shrieked.

Relentlessly Peeves bobbed up and down, cackling madly and chucking water balloons at Marcella.

"STOP IT!" James roared, taking out his wand.

Peeves looked surprised for a second, then his face twisted into an evil smile. "Ooh. Potter's sticking up for Greenwald, isn't he?"

"Yes," James said indignantly. "Stop chucking balloons at her!"

"POTTY LURVES GREENY, POTTY LURVES GREENY!" Peeves yelled, spiraling away. "POTTY LURVES GREENY, POTTY LURVES GREENY!"

James cursed loudly. "COME BACK HERE, YOU STUPID –"

"James, stop," Marcella said, though she too looked annoyed. "Peeves will be Peeves."

"I guess," James sighed, clenching his teeth. They could still hear the echo of Peeves as he zoomed across the castle. "Are you okay?"

"I guess," Marcella said. "Just a bit cold… the poltergeist had to drop water on me when it's below freezing outside…" She shivered in coldness.

"Here, you can have my jacket," James said, shrugging it off.

"It's okay," Marcella said, shaking her head. "I'm really not that cold."

"Hey, I know I would be freezing if I was bombarded with water balloons," James said, smiling. "Take it. Please."

Marcella grinned and took it reluctantly. "Are you sure you're not going to be cold?"

"Yeah," James said.

"You and your macho-ness," Marcella laughed. "Well, thank you, James. This is really nice of you."

"No problem. Anything for a friend."

* * *

The first Quidditch game for Gryffindor was a bubble of excitement. It would be the first one ever for James as a captain, and he was a wreck. In fact, he was so nervous, he forgot to hex Snape as he crossed his path. Snape took this opportunity to aim a curse at James. Sirius promptly fired one right back at Snape as Snape ran away.

"COME BACK HERE, YOU COWARD!" Sirius roared at the retreating Snape. "YOU GREASY, SONOFA - "

"Leave it, Sirius," Remus said. "It's not worth it."

"James, are you okay?" Peter squeaked.

"I guess," James groaned. There was a fresh scar replacing the one that had just faded.

"You wait 'til I get Snivelly," Sirius growled. "He'll pay for that one."

"He's probably trying to destroy Gryffindor's chances of winning the game," Remus said, clenching his teeth. "The slimy git."

"Wow, vindictive, Moony," Sirius said, grinning.

Peter laughed. James cracked a smile.

"Come on, we gotta get James to the Quidditch pitch," Remus said.

After his friends left him, James sat alone in the locker rooms, unsure of what to do. He was already in his uniform. "I'm shaking," he said to no one in particular. It was true. His hands shook violently as he reached for the broom.

A while later, the rest of his team came in. Most looked nervous. Perry looked determined. Amber, Balin, Michael and Daniel looked scared to death. Marcella was trying to mask her nervousness.

"This is it," James said, trying to keep his voice from shaking. "The first game. I know we'll be okay. We've got a brilliant team of players. Honestly. So I want you all to go out there and do your best, and I know we'll win this. Go Gryffindor!"

"Go Gryffindor!" his team yelled.

"Right! We can do this!" James shouted. Most of the nervousness was ebbing away. "Let's go!" James wasn't particularly ashamed of his lame pep talk; in fact, if it put a smile on the face of his players, it would take that much of the nervousness away.

The players flew out onto the field as their names were announced. James saw the familiar poster of his face, upheld by Sirius, Remus and Peter. He shook hands with the nasty-looking Slytherin captain, and let go quickly.

"Players in their positions," Madam Frish yelled. She let go of the Snitch, and James watched as it flew off into the sky. "Aaaaaaand… GO!" She threw the Quaffle into the air.

There was an instant scramble to take control of the Quaffle. James spiraled higher into the air, watching his team anxiously while trying to search for the Quaffle. He saw Amber score a goal.

"Yes," he said to himself, punching the air.

The Slytherins now had control of the Quaffle, and they zoomed toward the Gryffindor goal posts. "What is Perry Tyson doing?" the commentator asked, puzzled. "Is he not even trying to defend the goals?" Perry was floating a couple of feet above the posts, just like he and James had planned. Thinking it would be an easy ten points, the Slytherin Chaser threw the ball at the middle hoop. As if out of nowhere, Perry swooped and caught the ball with one hand.

The Gryffindor section of the stands erupted into loud cheers. "Amazing!" the commentator's voice boomed.

"That's right," James said to himself. "It is."

It was easily the biggest Quidditch massacre ever. Perry was brilliant. He never even let in one goal, and the Slytherin Chasers resorted to cursing loudly and trying to aim Bludgers at him. Marcella, Amber and Balin scored time after time.

James spied the Snitch floating atop of Amber's head. In a zoom of concentration, he sped toward her, and pulled the broom but strategically so as to avoid hurting her head. Immediately, the stands erupted, and the commentator was shouting out the score, "380 to zero!"

Blinded by happiness at the success of his first game as captain, James let out a loud yell of joy and descended to the ground. He saw Marcella land a few feet beside him, beaming with joy. Immediately, as if instinctively, he came over and gave her a huge hug, happy and giddy like a little kid.

"We won!" Marcella shrieked as she hugged him back.

"Only because you and the team were brilliant," James grinned.

"You were too," she laughed.

"Can't argue with you there," James said laughingly, running his hand through his hair.

The usual if-we-win party took place that night in the Gryffindor common room. As usual, the Marauders got the condiments. The house-elves in the kitchen even seemed to expect them now, as they stood with party platters in hand as the Marauders arrive.

"Great game, James," a blonde girl said, giggling as she passed by him. The music pounded loudly in their ears.

"Thanks," James said, grinning flirtatiously back.

Sirius was snogging Nora in a corner of the common room. Remus was at the couches, while Peter was in the bathroom. Remus contemplated talking to Sirius, but didn't want to… disturb him.

Marcella walked up to Remus, a bottle of butterbeer in hand. "James is really over Lily, isn't he," she commented, watching the scene.

"It would seem so," Remus said thoughtfully. "Although, with James, you can never be sure."

"That's true," Marcella laughed. "We've become pretty good friends during the Quidditch season."

"I see that," Remus grinned. "He's a good guy at heart."

Marcella nodded. "He really is."

James passed through the common room, giving high-fives to everyone in sight. He knew that by now, he was sort of a Quidditch hero. He also knew, as vain as it sounded, that girls at school would pay to go out with him. He passed by the blonde and started talking to a group of giggly girls, all who immediately started shamelessly flirting with him, just like they would if he were Sirius.

James saw Lily pass by him and head toward Remus and Marcella. His heart jumped a beat, but he shook he head to himself. _I am over her_, he told himself over and over. Trying to clear his mind of the red hair and the green eyes, James went back to talking to the giggly girls.

Lily strode up to Marcella and Remus, lips pursed.

"Hey Lily," Remus and Marcella said at the same time.

"Marcella, I need to talk to you," Lily said abruptly.

Marcella looked surprised. "Oh, okay. Excuse us, Remus."

"No problem," Remus said.

Lily led Marcella up the stairs to their dormitory. Once inside, Lily shut the door.

"Lily," Marcella said, laughing nervously. "You're scaring me. What's wrong?"

"It's about James," Lily breathed. "Marci, I'm worried about you."

Puzzled, Marcella frowned. "Wait, what? Why?"

"You know, it's James Potter," Lily said hesitantly. "I don't know… are you guys friends?"

"Yes," Marcella said defensively. "So?"

"Well, I don't know… don't you think he's… unstable as a friend?"

Marcella stared at her, shocked. "What do you mean by _that_?"

"I'm just saying you should watch yourself," Lily said.

"Lily," Marcella said, trying to stay calm. "Do you honestly think I can't watch out for myself?"

"Well, no, it's now that…"

"You don't trust James Potter," Marcella said firmly. "You don't like him, isn't that right? And now you're trying to prohibit me becoming friends with him?"

"No!" Lily said indignantly.

"Come on, Lils, don't deny it," Marcella said. "You don't like James Potter."

"The heck I don't!" Lily said loudly. "After everything he's done to me, and you, how could you still trust him enough to be friends with him, Marcella?"

"What about Snape?" Marcella countered. "He's just as bad as James. You know, I've kept my mouth shut about him, but don't you think now that you're being very hypocritical?"

"That's different!" Lily sputtered. "Sev and I have been friends for years, even before Hogwarts-"

"That may be true, but that doesn't excuse the fact that he's rude and up to his neck in the dark arts. I don't understand why you still talk to him."

"That's beyond the point! That's-"

"Lily," Marcella said calmly. "Stop being a narrow-minded jerk."

"What did you just call me?" Lily asked, eyes wide.

"A narrow minded jerk," Marcella repeated. "You're not stopping to see the point! If James was truly so bad, why would he have friends at all?"

"That's beyond the point," Lily said madly. "But why on earth would you be friends with _him_, of all people?"

"Are you implying that I have a bad choice in friends?" Marcella said indignantly. "Lily! This whole conversation is preposterous! I understand that you don't like James Potter, but that doesn't mean I can't be friends with him!" Marcella made a move to stride out of the room.

"No, Marcella, stop," Lily said, tears glistening in her eyes. Marcella sighed, then stopped.

"Yes?"

"I'm just worried that he'll, oh, I don't know, hurt you," Lily sighed.

"Hurt me?"

"Yeah."

Marcella gave a weak laugh. "Lily, I never _ever _plan on going on a date with him, if that's what you mean. I realize that you're looking out for my best interests, but I thought you'd know me well enough by now to know I can take care of myself, Lily.""

"Well, about the whole dating thing, I heard something around the castle about you and James..." Lily said hesitantly.

"Oh, so _that's_ what this is about," Marcella said. "You can put those worries away, Lily. They were simply the works of Peeves. I have no intention of anything more than friendship." She shuddered. "It's too odd to think about."

"Then that makes sense," Lily said in relief. "But, it's still James," she added. "Still be careful."

"Maybe it's time to move on," Marcella said gently. "Past the Amortentia incident. Past the bitterness. These past few days I've spent plenty of time with him, and inside of the tough marauder façade there's a caring, sweet guy, who'll do anything for his friends. You see the way he helps Peter, Remus and Sirius. He's loyal, and a true friend. I trust him, Lily," Marcella said firmly. "Please respect my decision."

There was a pause.

"Of course I do," Lily said, smiling. "But I'm still not forgiving Potter. And I feel so stupid; of course you can take care of yourself, Marci. Forgive me?"

"Always," Marcella laughed. She opened the dormitory door. "Maybe one day you'll become friends with him too."

Lily paused, then smiled. "Maybe. But I find that highly unlikely."

Laughing, the two girls walked out of the room, arm in arm.


	38. Choices

A/N: I bet you weren't expecting an update this quick :)

I worked realy hard on this chapter, though I'm on vacation. Once again, it's not my best chapter, but it does its job. I apologize if it's a bit depressing for the season. It turned out way longer than I expected, because I was going to merge it with the next chapter, but then you would have a really, really long chapter...and since you've all been so patient lately, I decided to post this one. I'm rambling. Okay. Gotta stop. But I will say I'm more satisfied with this chapter than the last two chapters were crappy, and I apologize. If I have time, I'll go back and fix them up.

Once again, big hugs to those readers and reviewers! Special thanks to Monks and Salim271, pinocchio, windstar, Kates Master, Kates Master's Sister, and 3-legged Dog. Thank you all so much, and have a happy holiday season!

(By the way, over 200 reviews! You guys are AWESOME!)

* * *

_December - March, 1974-1975_

* * *

Choices

"'Tis the season to be jolly, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!" James sang loudly.

"James, will you shut up?" Remus groaned. "Your bad singing is giving me a headache."

"Actually, James really isn't that bad," Peter piped up.

"Thank you, Peter," James beamed.

"I don't know what is wrong with your ears today, Peter," Remus sighed. "James is killing me."

"Well, I'm saying that he's not bad in comparison to Sirius," Peter laughed.

As if on cue, Sirius burst into the room, beaming madly and holding four cups of merrily fresh eggnog. "JINGLE BELLS, GOBLINS SMELL, SNIVELLY LAID AN EGG!" he blasted at the top of his lungs. The tray in his hands seemed to shake from the volume. It was a wonder that the glasses didn't break.

"SIRIUS! SHUT UP!" Remus roared, laughing. He, James and Peter each took a cup of eggnog from Sirius.

"You're welcome," Sirius said.

Remus took a sip of eggnog. "Thanks."

James grinned at this. "Okay, Remus, now I see your point. If my singing was as bad as Sirius…"

"You were a bit better," Remus grimaced.

"My tortured ears," Peter groaned.

"I'm insulted," Sirius said, pretending to scowl. "I would never have sneaked out of that house to be here if you guys were going to put down my beautiful, heartfelt songs."

Remus choked on his eggnog.

"We apologize, Padfoot," James said, grinning. "Please, sing us another song."

"James," Remus and Peter groaned in unison.

"Just kidding," James said, throwing up his hands.

The four friends were sitting around the Potter dining room, drinking eggnog. It was Christmas day. James's parents, however, were out for the day, as they had some business to attend to. But they promised the boys that they would be back soon.

Peter yawned widely. "I can't believe you made us get up so early, James," he groaned. "And still no presents?"

"Later," James said. "I just wanted eggnog."

"And you sent me to go and get it," Sirius laughed. "I feel like a servant."

"You beat Heda to it, she was the one that offered to bring it in," James shrugged.

"Where is she now?" Remus asked.

"Making tree-shaped pancakes," James grinned. "They're my favorite."

"Can we open our presents now?" Sirius groaned. "God knows how long I've waited."

"Haven't you heard, Christmas is for giving, not receiving," Remus said, the corners of his mouth twitching upward.

"I'm a Black," Sirius said, grinning mischievously.

"Excuses, excuses," James laughed. "That's not a good excuse anymore."

"Says who?" Sirius asked defiantly.

"Says us," Peter grinned.

"You've grown out of being a Black," Remus said.

Sirius stretched his arms. "That…is the best Christmas present I could ever have."

Remus, James and Peter grinned appreciatively.

"Well, I kept you all waiting long enough," James grinned. "Let's go check out those presents, shall, we?"

Cheering, Remus, Sirius and Peter followed James to the Potter Christmas tree. As usual, it was decorated in all its splendor… ornaments made of goblin gold hung merrily from the branches. Sparkling orbs flashed rainbow colors. There were also what looked like a couple of hand-made ornaments, including a gingerbread man and a lump of dough. On the very top of the huge tree was a brilliant diamond angel ornament, which was glistening and flapping its crystal wings while winking at the four boys.

"You made these?" Sirius asked James. He picked up a lump of dough that was hanging limply on the tree.

"Yes," James said defensively. "I was five."

"Are these edible?" Sirius asked interestedly.

Remus groaned. "Stop thinking about food, Padfoot."

"Oh wow, are those for us?" Peter asked excitedly, pointing to a huge pile of wrapped presents under the Christmas tree.

"All yours," James beamed. "Dive in."

With a Tarzan-like yell, Sirius indeed dived into the pile of presents. Remus and Peter soon joined them, and the three boys started to tear up the wrapping paper as if their lives depended upon it.

"Oh wow, thanks James!" Remus beamed. "I've wanted this book since forever!"

"That's great!" Peter squeaked, holding up a model of a rat that looked impeccably like him Animagus form. "It's a mini-me!"

"Oh wow, Andros the Invincible!" Sirius said, awed. "I thought you wanted this card, James."

"You still remember?" James laughed. "We ate through literally a hundred chocolate frogs, but we still couldn't find that card. But I did get you into collecting, Sirius."

"So you finally found one?"

"Yup," James beamed. "And I'm giving it to you."

"Why?"

James shrugged. "At times, it just reminds me of how we met. Keep it, Sirius. I think it'll serve as a strong bond between our friendship."

Sirius grinned. "Thanks."

After the presents were all torn open, the four friends sat on the living room floor together, drinking more eggnog. "I can never get enough of this stuff," Sirius beamed. He took another sip. "So yummy."

"So, Remus, how's you and Faye?" James asked, grinning mischievously.

Remus reddened immediately. "Uh, we're good," he said slowly.

"Don't give us that," Sirius laughed. "Come on. Have you snogged her yet?"

Remus shook his head. "And I'm glad, because I want us both to be ready."

"Really?" James asked.

"Really," Remus anwered.

Sirius clapped Remus on the shoulder. "You're a big man, Moony."

"Especially on full moon nights," Remus grinned.

They all laughed.

"While we're on that subject of dating," Sirius said, grinning at James. "Are you and Marcella going out?"

James choked on his eggnog, and then coughed. "No," he said.

"I heard you were," Peter said interestedly.

James shook his head. "Nah. Peeves was chucking water balloons at her, so I drew out my wand and told him to stop it. Then he spiraled around the school, singing –"

"Potty lurves Greeny," Remus finished, grinning. "We know. The whole school knows."

James groaned. "Great. So everyone thinks we're going out?"

"Yep," Peter said.

"Great," James groaned again.

"Hey, that's nothing to complain about," Sirius said airily. "Marcella's hot."

"It's not _that_," James said, rolling his eyes. "We're good friends. I heard from her that Lily was worried that we were going out. I need to talk to her again when she gets back from vacationing in Mexico."

"So it all comes back to Lily, eh?" Peter grinned.

James reddened immediately. "I am _over_ that girl. Over her, okay? OVER!" he said forcefully, slamming his eggnog down on the ground.

Peter looked taken aback. "Yeah, okay, over her…"

"Calm down, mate," Sirius said, alarmed.

"We know, James," Remus said. "We were just kidding."

"Okay," James snapped, now mad at himself for yelling at his friends.

There was a silence.

"On a lighter subject," Remus grinned. "I got Faye a bracelet for Christmas."

"Let's see," Peter grinned. "Do you have it with you?"

"Yeah," Remus said.

"Is it pwetty?" James laughed.

Remus withdrew from his pocket a velvet box. He opened it, and inside was a pearl bracelet with interchanging purple and white pearls that glsitened in the lights of the Christmas tree.

"That's great," James smiled. "Where did you get it?"

"My mum gave it to me to give to her," Remus said, smiling. "She said that it was the one that my dad gave to her on Christmas a long time ago, and she wished me to give it to Faye."

"That's really special," Peter said softly. "That's one-of-a-kind."

"Like she is," Remus said, closing the box gently. "Do you think she'll like it?"

"She'll love it," James beamed. "You old sap, you."

"Absolutely," Peter nodded.

All this time, Sirius was staring at the ceiling, transfixed.

"Sirius," James said. "Snap out of it."

Sirius turned, startled. "Oh crap."

"What?" Remus frowned.

"I didn't get Nora a present."

"That's smart," Peter said.

"Oh shut up, Peter," Sirius scowled. "What am I going to do?"

"Steal a bracelet from your mom?" James suggested.

"That's actually not a bad idea," Sirius said. "Should I?"

"I was kidding!" James said, laughing. "Wouldn't your mom kill you?"

"Probably," Sirius shrugged. "But if she doesn't find out she'll never miss it."

"How about you make her something? From the heart?" Remus suggested. "I made Faye a card to go with the bracelet."

"I'm not that creative, Moony," Sirius groaned. "Plus, I'm too lazy. I'll just get her a box of chocolates."

"Sirius, don't you think she might like something…I don't know… that's more personal?" Remus asked carefully. "Maybe more than a box of chocolates?"

Sirius shrugged. "Nah. She likes chocolates. But you're right. I'll buy her a card."

Remus looked at James. They exchanged exasperated looks.

The lock clicked on the door just then, and James's parents stepped into the room. "Hi kids," they said. The snow outside blew in frosty flakes, and some blew into the house before Heda could shut the door.

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Potter," Remus, Sirius and Peter said.'

'Hey, mum and dad," James grinned.

"We were just opening our presents," Peter said.

"Did you like them?" Mrs. Potter asked as Heda helped her off of her coat.

"Very much," Remus beamed.

"Thank you," Sirius said sincerely.

James noticed that his parents were very subdued, and looked on the verge of tears instead of being happy at the holiday season.

"You're welcome," Mr. Potter said in a strained voice.

"Dad, what's wrong?" James asked quietly.

The whole house seemed to be scolded into silence. Heda silently headed back to the kitchen, but the Marauders all had their gaze unwaveringly upon Mr. Potter.

"Should we tell them?" Mrs. Potter whispered.

"I think it would be best if they found out from us," Mr. Potter nodded.

"What's wrong?" James asked again.

"James, Remus, Sirius, Peter… you probably realize that Voldemort is getting serious," Mr. Potter began.

Peter winced at the name.

"These killings are getting more frequent now," Mrs. Potter continued. Her face looked worn, well beyond her years, and James realized that his parents were getting older. This battle was draining the life out of them.

"As much as I hate to say it, we're in a war," Mr. Potter said quietly. "There's no fine line anymore between what's good and what's evil. I'm sure you've learned about the unforgivable curses; the Imperius curse is giving the ministry a huge headache as of right now."

"And they can't tell the difference between truly imperiused people and liars?" Remus asked quietly.

"Correct," Mr. Potter said.

"And Voldemort," Mrs. Potter said as Peter shuddered. "He seems to have a special way of killing at the jolliest time of year. The Dark Mark was found over two doors today."

"Anyone we know?" Remus said, shaking.

"The first house was the house of a certain Bertram Aubrey. I believe he goes to your school. He, his mother and his father were killed were both killed for being half-blood."

James hung his head and felt a stabbing sensation at his heart. He didn't even apologize to Bertram when he accidentally hit him with a head-swelling charm.

Remus closed his eyes.

"And the second house was the house of your friend, Marcella."

Remus's eyes shot open in horror. "Marcella?" he croaked out. Peter was shaking in fear.

"The Greenwald family," Mr. Potter nodded, voice strained.

"James," Remus said, trying to remain calm. "The family was in Mexico, right? So they're all okay?"

James shook his head, face pale. "Not all of them," he whispered. "She went with her dad and little brother. Her little sister stayed home with her mother."

Sirius stared in horror. "So her little sister and her mother…"

"Dead," Mr. Potter said tiredly. "I doubt she knows the news yet…"

"I have to write to her," James said frantically. "She has the right to know."

"She will know, son," Mr. Potter said. "She'll hear from her family soon enough. Give her time."

"I have to write to her," James said determinedly. With one last look at the rest of them, he turned and raced up the stairs to his room.

"I'll go with him," Remus said. "I want to write to her as well." He followed his friend up the stairs.

"I-I have to go home," Sirius said, still in a daze. "My parents might find out I was gone."

"Me too," said a pale Peter. "I promised my mom I'd be back soon…"

"Well then goodbye," Mrs. Potter said, trying to smile. "There's floo powder by the fireplace."

Sirius nodded, and headed to the fireplace before Peter. He grabbed a handful of power, threw it into the fireplace, and watched as the green flames shot up. Then he stepped into the fireplace, shouted the words, and felt the spinning sensation engulf him.

He fell onto the floor in his room, but didn't bother to get up. Sirius crawled over to the nearest wall and leaned against it, shaking his head. He thought of Marcella's laughing face, and dreaded seeing her reaction to all this when she came back to Hogwarts. Wasn't Christmas supposed to be merry?

Voldemort had ruined it all. He had ruined all these families. He had ruined Bertram Aubrey's family, he had ruined Marcella's.

Sirius closed his eyes, chest heaving heavily.

"How long is this going to last?" he whispered to himself.

* * *

The 'welcome back' feast at Hogwarts was more subdued than ever before. Families had gone before, but never had a killing that harmed one of the castle's own students. Black banners hung in memory of Bertram Aubrey and in the memory of Marcella's family. James remembered when his grandparents died, and still could not imagine the pain Marcella was going through in losing both her mother and her sister.

"Today, we are here to mourn for the loss of two important families to us," Dumbledore said gravely during his speech. "First, Bertram Aubrey. He was a loyal person, and a good man. He was a brilliant addition to the Hufflepuff house. Remember him. Remember this war."

The Hufflepuff table was subdued. Almost everyone seemed to be in tears.

"Secondly, we mourn for the loss of Marcella Greenwald's immediate family, as in her mother and her sister. She has lost a part of her life. We will give her the courage to go on."

Across the table, James could see Lily comforting her friend.

"This isn't a time that will be easy," Dumbledore continued. "This war deprives us of hope. This war damages our community. This war can destroy us as people. But remember; you all have choices to make. Unity will make us stronger. If we can stay together, we can strengthen the power we have over this war. Thank you, and good night."

With a bow, Dumbledore stepped down and sat back in his chair. The students of the great hall got up as one and headed back to their dormitories with heavy looks on their faces. The Marauders, however, stayed back. James wanted to talk to Marcella.

They found her crying onto Lily's shoulder in the hallway as they walked out of the Great Hall.

"Marcella," James said quietly, approaching where the two girls sat against a wall. "Can I talk to you?"

"No, you can't," Lily snapped.

"Excuse me," James said to Lily coldly. "Are you Marcella?"

Marcella let out a renewed sob.

"See what you did, Potter?" Lily said angrily. "Leave her alone. "You don't know what she's going through."

"And you do?" James said sarcastically.

"More than you," Lily snapped.

"I lost my family in this war," James whispered, his voice deadly. "I'd be damned if I didn't know what she's going through."

Lily looked as if she had been slapped in the face. "I forgot," she said, not looking at him.

"It's easy to forget when it doesn't happen to you, isn't it," James said icily. Lily winced.

Marcella let out another sob. "Lily, it's okay," she croaked out. "I'll talk to James."

"Are you sure?" Lily asked her.

"Yes," Marcella said, as firmly as possible. "Go on. I'll meet you back at the dormitory."

Reluctantly, Lily stood up. Remus, Sirius and Peter went with her back up to the common room, while James sat down beside Marcella.

"How are you holding up?" he asked her.

She looked up at him, face full of tears. "Obviously, not too well," she said, cracking a smile.

James smiled back sadly. "It must be painful."

"It is," she said. "My mother was a great woman, and my little sister…she was going to go to Hogwarts with me in a year." She shook her head, crystal tears dropping on the ground. "I miss them so much," she whispered.

"I can't even imagine," James said hollowly. "I lost my family to this war, but as much as I loved my uncle, aunt and cousins, they weren't my mother or my father."

"You miss them, don't you."

James sighed. "Every single day."

She nodded. "I'm missing them right now."

"Well, look on the bright side," James said. "You, your father and your brother are still alive."

"I guess I can call that a bright side," Marcella sighed. "Still alive… how long is this war going to last, James?" She shook her head sadly. "I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take. It seems that each new day brings more tears than joy, more deaths than births, more hate than love. I look for the day when it'll be all over…but will it ever end?"

"It will end," James said, trying to sound confident. "We'll see the day when this'll be all over. We'll see Voldemort dead."

"I sure hope so, James," she said softly. "I don't want to lose anyone else. I can't afford it." She let out a humorless laugh. "I worry more about Lily than I do my own safety."

"I know how you feel," James said.

She looked down at her knees. "Do you?"

"There are people worth dying for," James said simply. "There are people you can't imagine living life without."

She smiled. "My thoughts exactly."

They sat in silence for a while.

"We're both lucky," James finally said.

"How do you figure that one out?" Marcella said, half-laughing, half-sobbing.

"We have our friends," James said, smiling. "I have Remus, you, Sirius and Peter. You have Lily and the rest of us. I know things get tough…but I pulled through because of them. And we'll help you too. We promise."

"Thank you," she whispered.

They both sat in silence for a while longer, looking from the walls to the window opposite them. The tangerine sunset glowed and basked the castle in its glorious light. Green hills glowed, and the sky was calm.

"You're right," Marcella finally breathed. "We _are_ lucky."

* * *

"You will be meeting with your counselors to discuss your various career choices," Professor McGonagall said. "Fifth years of my house, you will be meeting with me."

James and Sirius exchanged a high-five.

"This is not a matter to be taken lightly," Professor McGonagall sniffed, nostrils flared. "This meeting is very important, as we will be discussing your O.W.L.'s in your career. They are coming up, you know."

Sirius chose that moment to let out a big yawn.

The class laughed, and McGonagall looked angrier than before. "Sorry," Sirius shrugged. "Duty calls."

"Honestly, it is important," Remus said as the four friends walked out of class. "It cinches the career path that you choose. In order to get into your required N.E.W.T. classes, you have to pass –"

"We know," Sirius said, cutting Remus off. "I don't need this career advice thingy. I know what I'm going to be."

"An auror?" Peter asked.

"Precisely," Sirius beamed.

"You never cease to amaze me," Remus grinned. "Do you know how much extra work you would have to do to become an auror?"

"How much?" Sirius asked.

"Years," Remus sighed. "Do your research, Padfoot."

"Eh, I've got time," Sirius shrugged. "I think it'd be fun, actually."

"You're mental," Peter stared.

"I've been told that," Sirius grinned.

"Oh, hey, look!" James said, pointing to the bulletin board where a bunch of students were crowded around. The four friends headed over to it, pushing through the hoards of third years.

"The next Hogsmeade trip is next weekend," Sirius read aloud, grinning. "Perfect. The day after our Career Advice meetings. From dull to fun. This is gonna be a great weekend."

"It gives me a chance to give Faye her Christmas present," Remus said. "We've both been really busy, but now's our time."

"Oh, I should give Nora her present too," Sirius said.

"What did you end up getting her?" Peter asked interestedly.

"A box of chocolate and a card," Sirius shrugged. "I'm a man of my word."

"You certainly are," Remus said, rolling his eyes.

Next weekend came in a blur. James could hardly even remember his week back, except for a couple of Quidditch practices. He was convinced that his team was the best in the entire school and that they could kick anyone's butt across the Quidditch field.

He had a meeting with McGonagall at three o'clock that Saturday, and went down to her office accordingly. He arrived two minutes early, but was invited to sit down anyway.

"Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall nodded at him. "How are you?"

"Good," James replied. "How are you?"

"Fine," McGonagall said curtly. "Now, let's get down to business." She pulled out the papers containing his information. "Do you have any idea what career path you are to choose?"

"I want to be a Quidditch player," James said easily.

McGonagall didn't look surprised, only disappointed. "A Quidditch player," she repeated.

"Yeah," James grinned. "I think it'd be a cool profession."

"It's not all about the fame," Professor McGonagall sighed.

"I know," James said. "It would be nice to make lots of money and be recognized, though."

"Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall said, looking intently at him. "Not many Quidditch players go professional, and even if they do, not many are paid well or well-recognized."

"But I love doing that," James protested.

"Yes, but have you thought about your future enough?"

"What do you mean?"

"When you start a family, you'll want to provide support for them," McGonagall said. "A Quidditch player is simply not practical. You won't know the career bumps, and it's a very unstable job. One moment, you could be at the top, and the next you could end up in the poor house."

James seemed to deflate a bit.

Recognizing this, McGonagall softened a bit. "Of course, if that is the career path you choose, the best luck to you."

"Professor, what do you suggest?" James asked.

McGonagall looked thoughtful. "I had a meeting with your friend Sirius Black a while ago. He told me that he wanted to be an auror, and he would always stick by that pathway. Have you thought about being an auror?"

James nodded. "I have thought about it…but I don't want to do it."

Professor McGonagall looked surprised at this. "May I ask why?"

For the first time in this career interview, James looked pained. "It's all those late nights. All that work. Never seeing your family for more than an hour at a time. My parents are aurors, Professor. I see what they go through. I don't want to put my future family through the same ignorance. I'm not saying what my parents did was intentional, because I know they're not," he added. "I know they love me. But come Christmas time, when we're supposed to come together as a family, they're rarely there for me, always out there arresting another murderer."

McGonagall looked at him with an odd look of understanding. "Alright, Mr. Potter, no auror then."

"Is there anything else?"

Professor McGonagall surveyed him, and then looked back down at the papers in her hands. "You have a great mind, Mr. Potter," she said at last. "You have passed all your final exams in the past four years with either full score or over full score." She paused. "But you have accumulated over a hundred detentions."

James could not help but grin at this.

"A mind is a terrible thing to waste," McGonagall said, looking back up at him from her desk. "You would be throwing it away if you become a Quidditch player." She paused. "Have you thought of going into the Ministry?"

"That idea never occurred to me," James said honestly.

"Well, maybe you should think about it," the professor said. "Politics is not as boring as it sounds. You could also work for the Daily Prophet; I know they always look for new reporters. You have plenty of choices, James."

"That's not a bad idea," James said, nodding. "I'll look into that."

"You'll need top O.W.L.'s on most of your exams then, especially practical ones like Transfiguration and Charms… though I daresay you're having no problems thus far."

"Thank you," James said, grinning.

"You'll also need to work hard," Professor McGonagall added sternly.

"I know," James said easily.

Just then, there was a knock at the door, and Remus Lupin came into the room. "Hello, Professor," he said.

"Remus," James beamed, standing and giving his friend a high-five.

"Hello, Mr. Lupin," Professor McGonagall said. "Please, have a seat. Goodbye, Mr. Potter," she added as James walked out the door. "Think about it."

"Bye," James waved to both of them. "I will."

The door swung shut, and McGonagall faced a very nervous-looking Remus. "Hello, Mr. Lupin," she said.

"Hello," Remus said. "H-How are you doing?"

"Good," Professor McGonagall said. "There's no need to be nervous, Mr. Lupin."

"Okay," Remus breathed.

She took out his papers from her desk. "You, along with your friend Mr. Potter, have attained some of the highest scores Hogwarts has ever seen." She gave him a rare smile. "But I prophesize you won't want to be a Quidditch player?'

Remus let out a laugh. "No."

"Have you thought about your career path, then?"

"Yes," Remus replied. "I actually have two. I'm choosing between a healer and – and a teacher."

"A healer and a teacher," Professor McGonagall repeated.

"Yes," Remus said. "My Aunt Mae was a healer, and she helped me through my condition the whole time she was alive."

"So you would like to be a healer in honor of her?"

"In a way," Remus nodded. "But I think a profession that helps recover people makes a great impact on my mind."

Professor McGonagall nodded. "Tell me about your other profession choice."

Remus laughed sheepishly. "I actually would very much like to be a teacher. If I can educate people to do what's right, to defend themselves, that would be well worth my time." He looked up at the professor. "It's something I've considered for a long time."

Professor McGonagall nodded, with a sense of pride. "Well then, you'll need the very top scores on your O.W.L. exams," she said. "Both of those professions require a lot of work, and a lot of dedication. Certainly, you'll need to go into N.E.W.T. level with Charms, Transfiguration, Potions, Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures, and most definitely, Defense Against the Dark Arts. I recommend, of course, Astronomy, Muggle Studies and Arithmancy, but though they are not required, it makes a difference on accepting into training."

Remus nodded, trying to remember this information.

"Well, if that is all, you may go," Professor McGonagall said.

Remus stood up. "Thank you, professor."

"Mr. Lupin," the professor said. "You've grown stronger from the boy I met on the first day of school."

"I have?" Remus asked.

She nodded. "I wouldn't say I've had no doubts. Though I doubted your friendship with Mr. Potter, Mr. Black and Mr. Pettigrew, they seemed to have made you stronger and better. Standing before me is someone I see as loyal, someone honest. Through your disabilities, you've hung in there." She nodded again.

"Thank you," Remus said, feeling guilt shoot through him when he thought about the illegal Animagus transformations. But he didn't regret it. Like Sirius said, it was too late for them to turn back.

"You're welcome," Professor McGonagall said.

Remus opened the door. "Goodbye, Professor."

She nodded once more. "Goodbye, Remus."


	39. Crazy Little Thing Called Love

A/N: Hello all! Hope you had a very merry ChristmaHannuKwanza! Happy holidays, and a Happy New Year!

I did take a break from writing, but now, I'm back. With a pretty long chapter. I will, first of all, say that this chapter still needs a lot of work to keep it from sounding saccharine and sappy. But, as I did want to post it ASAP, so I did not have the chance. So be forewarned. And remember when I said no pointless chapters? Here's my second exception. Though it does definitely move the story along, it's not completely necessary. I hope you enjoy this one as much as Amortentia.

We learn about Faye in this chapter, and it's a very early Valentine's theme, I guess. Hope you all enjoy!

In answer to Miwako's question: No, I actually don't think someone needs to be an auror to be in the Order. For examples: Arabella Figg and Mundungus Fletcher. Though the career decisions are not final yet for James and Remus (they're only in fifth year, after all) I'm not going to give them the career path of Aurors. My apologies to all of you who wishes they were!

Now, I love you all, truly, for your dedication. Thanks to Phanthom (who reviewed every single one of my 38 chapters to date! Thanks so much, miwako, lilbookworms, pinocchio, windstar, crewger, redcrushedvelvet (twice! lol, thanks for your support!), Kyra Ryuiko, Alexa Krystal (twice! I like Marcella too), mellonim (glad you're enjoying the story!) and iluvPoTtErPuPpEtPaLs! Thanks for the kind words! You are my rock :)

* * *

_March, 1975_

* * *

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

"I'm here, Lily, what's the big surprise?" Faye said, bursting into Lily's dormitory.

Lily was sitting on her bed with Marcella, and she grinned up at Faye mischievously. "Not a surprise, per se…"

"Uh oh," Faye said, laughing. She looked around the dorm. "Where are the other girls?"

"Mary, Lauren and Rachael are off somewhere," Marcella shrugged. "So, we have the whole dorm to ourselves! It's not that big of a deal; those girls are never in here anyway, except to sleep."

Lily and Faye laughed at this. In a short amount of time, Faye Taten had become a close friend of Lily and Marcella. They supported her and Remus; Marcella and Lily agreed that they were a great couple. But their friendships went beyond that. Faye was kind, caring, and a cheerful person to be around. They found it funny that she spent more time in the Gryffindor common room than in the Ravenclaw common room.

"Clear up time, Lily dear. What is going on? Why am I here? I have a date with Remus in less than two hours," Faye said.

"That is precisely what we're going to help you with," Marcella grinned. "We're going to help knock Remus's eyes out of his socket."

"Oh, now, wait a minute," Faye said, backing away, laughing. "You're not going to try anything on me, are you?"

"No," Lily said innocently.

"That's not entirely convincing," Faye said.

"I know," Lily grinned. "Don't worry, it's not like we're doing anything illegal."

"Just think of this as… your professional styling team," Marcella laughed.

Lily pulled out packages of Muggle make-up from a blue bag nearby.

"Where did you get all this?" Faye asked interestedly as she examined the powder, the lip gloss and the eye-shadow. "I haven't seen make-up in a while."

"I stole it from my sister," Lily said, grinning mischievously. "She has so much of it, she'll never miss it."

"Does _your_ sister use this stuff?" Faye asked Marcella. She instantly clapped her hands to her mouth. "My God, I'm so sorry Marci, I forgot."

For Marcella's eyes had gone blank for a moment, but she seemed to recover quickly. "It's okay," she said in a cheerful voice that nevertheless sounded a bit strained. "Even I forget that she's gone sometimes. But yeah, my sister did like to experiment with make-up. So did my mum."

There was an awkward pause for a little bit.

"Well," Lily said cheerfully. "We're here to give Faye a little temporary make-over, isn't that right?"

"Exactly," Marcella agreed. "Let's get back on track."

"Hey, wait!" Faye protested. "I haven't agreed to it yet."

"Well, will you agree soon?" Marcella grinned. "Your date is in an hour!"

Faye looked thoughtful for a moment, then grinned. "I'll do it… on one condition."

"And what might that be?"

She looked at her two friends. "You guys have to do it too."

"No way!" Marcella exclaimed. "We don't have a date, you do!"

"I never wear make-up!" Lily protested.

Faye just grinned. "Take it or leave it.

"But that's two conditions," Lily scowled.

Faye smiled.

"Oh all right," Marcella said after a long pause. "I guess I'll do it."

"That's one," Faye said.

"I guess I'll do it too," Lily sighed. "I never thought I'd see myself in make-up."

"That's because you're gorgeous enough to start with," Faye laughed.

"Amen to that," Marcella grinned.

Lily chose to ignore them. "So, who first?"

"I think Faye should go first," Marcella said.

"Hey! Why me?"

"We agreed to your conditions," Marcella beamed.

"Oh, alright," Faye scowled.

Marcella and Lily took the make-up collection and had fun dolling Faye up. Soon, all three girls were covered in powder and God knows what else.

"This is fun," Faye giggled. "I feel like a little girl again, playing dress-up."

"The sad part is," Marcella laughed. "That we used half of the make-up, but we kept taking it off our faces, so we pretty much used none of it except for a little blush and some eyeliner."

"Actually, it's better that way," Lily shrugged. "Our faces aren't caked in powder."

"Well, I guess we're done," Faye beamed. "How do we look?"

The three girls examined each other, laughing.

"I think we all look beyooooootiful," Marcella grinned.

"Absolutely," Lily laughed. "Faye, Remus is going to faint at the sight of you."

Faye blushed. "Oh, be quiet."

"It's true," Lily grinned.

"Well okay, the first part of our transformation is done," Marcella said.

Faye groaned. "Don't tell me there's more?"

"There's more," Lily nodded. "You see, we all look so great that we need to put on some better clothes, to get that full effect."

Faye laughed. "What did you guys have in mind?"

"How about…" Marcella dramatically whipped out a bundle of dresses. "These?"

There were about twenty of them, each dramatically different in cut and color. But Faye recognized that they were all beautiful, and what's even more, hand-made.

"These are gorgeous!" she gasped. "Where did you get these?"

"My mom loved to make dresses," Marcella said, somewhat sadly.

"Oh," Faye said quietly.

"No, it's okay," Marcella said. "You don't need to feel sad for me, Faye."

"I don't," Faye said, even though she did. "These are stunning," she said, looking at the dresses once more.

"In her will she gave me everything that she owned both as a woman and a little girl," Marcella said, trying to keep her voice calm. "These were hand-made by her, and she wanted me to have them."

"They are really wonderful," Lily said.

"Thanks," Marcella smiled. "Now, shall we try them on?"

"Wait, I really shouldn't be trying these on," Faye said, backing away slowly. "They're heirlooms of your mother, I-I really shouldn't be wearing any of these."

Marcella smiled at her patiently. "Faye, I had the exact same talk with Lily the other day."

"Yup," Lily confirmed, nodding.

"My mother," Marcella said softly. "She would have wanted us to wear them. She made them for me and my friends. Faye, you'd look great in these. Just try them on."

Faye paused for a moment, then smiled. "Okay, I'll try them on. But remember, you guys have to do it too."

"Don't remind us," Lily laughed.

Ten of the dresses were too formal to wear out to a date, but the girls had fun trying the other ones on. Soon, each girl had picked out a pretty dress to wear to Hogsmeade.

"Well, just on time," Faye said. "I think we're ready to go down now."

"You've got a date waiting," Marcella winked.

"Go get him," Lily laughed.

"Oh shut up, you two," Faye said, scowling good-naturedly.

Giggling, the three girls made their way out of the dormitory.

* * *

Nora Angy sat in the empty Gryffindor common room, waiting for Sirius so they could head n to Hogsmeade together. Everyone else seemed to have already headed to the village, but Nora didn't mind sitting alone. It's not like she knew many of the Gryffindors. As she sat on the couch, she contemplated her relationship with Sirius.

How many times she had fallen head-over-heels in love with him all over again every time she saw him! She was the envy of the female population at Hogwarts, and she knew it. It wasn't easy, but somebody's gotta do it. She proudly called Sirius her boyfriend, but yet he never called her his girlfriend. It didn't bother her that much as of right now. She would melt in his kisses. But sometimes she had doubts. Sometimes she doubted he even knew her last name.

It was a bunch of snogging, and more snogging. She didn't mind; none of her classmates would mind. But somehow, she felt that the relationship wasn't…complete.

"Hey," Sirius said from behind her. "How are you, baby?"

She jumped in surprise and turned around to look at him. "Oh, hey!" Instinctively, she ran over to give him a kiss.

"That's cozy," James commented, grinning at the couple.

"Aw, shut it, Prongs," Sirius grinned back after their lips parted. "The little lady and I are having a moment."

Nora looked up at him. His face was smiling, his arms wrapped around her. He turned to look down at her through those eyes, and she felt herself melt.

"You look great," he complimented her.

"Thanks," she smiled. "Are we going?"

"Just a moment," Sirius said. "Moony, where's Faye?"

"Don't know," Remus said worriedly. "She said she was going to meet me here."

"I haven't seen her," Peter said.

"No need to worry, gentlemen," a voice said from above. "She's here."

Everyone turned to look up the stairs leading to the girls' dormitories. Lily and Marcella stood on the bottom of the staircase, wearing short but pretty dresses. Lily was donned in a velvety green dress that matched her eyes. Marcella was wearing a glittery black dress that made her shimmer in the light of the common room.

James saw Lily, and his heart caught in his throat. He had to shake his head a couple of times to remind himself that he was supposed to be over her.

"What's the occasion?" Sirius asked, grinning.

"We just felt like dressing up," Lily said, beaming.

"Where's Faye?" Remus asked.

"Calm down," Marcella laughed. "She's coming now."

White shoes extended from the staircase, followed by the rest of Faye. Her hair was up, and she walked slowly down the stairs, obviously trying not to trip on her high heels. She was wearing a bright white dress that, in Remus's opinion, made her look like an angel.

"Hey," she waved at them, and almost tripped on the stairs.

Remus rushed over to help her, but she held out a hand to stop him. "Don't," she laughed. "If you set foot on these stairs, they'll flatten out."

"Oh, right," Remus grinned sheepishly. "I forgot."

Soon, Faye made her way to the bottom of the stairs, and gave Remus a big hug. "Wow," was all Remus could manage. Faye giggled.

"Can we go now?" Peter asked.

They all laughed. "Yeah," Faye said, grinning.

The seven made their way out of the common room together, with Lily taking special care to stay away from James. It really wasn't such a bonus for her, because she usually ended up either beside Sirius, who was constantly snogging Nora, or Remus, who wouldn't turn his attention away from Faye.

"Marcella, you look great," Sirius said, grinning at her as they entered Hogsmeade.

"Thanks," she grinned back. "You too."

"I do, don't I?" Sirius grinned cheekily.

"Oh you," she laughed.

"Well, you brave warrior, I'll see you later," Sirius said, winking and waving at her.

Marcella laughed again. "Alright, later."

Nora couldn't help but shoot her some jealous looks, which Marcella, thankfully, didn't see. Trying to clear her mind of those thoughts, Nora clung tighter to Sirius's arm.

Everyone separated once inside the village. James and Peter headed on into Zonko's, as was their usual routine. Sirius and Nora headed of somewhere, presumably to snog. Lily and Marcella, in all their glamour, headed off to Scrivenshaft's to get more school supplies. Left alone, Remus and Faye decided to go to a clearing in the forest for relaxation.

They headed up to the forest clearing that they had discovered on an earlier trip to Hogsmeade. It was a beautiful spot; the trees were thick, but not thick enough to obscure the sunlight that peeked through the leaves. The cool spring air blew fresh on their faces as they walked up.

"It's just as pretty as I remember it," Faye breathed once they had arrived.

"Only this time, it's not covered in snow," Remus said, laughing.

"Makes for a much warmer trip," Faye grinned.

"You bet," Remus said. The couple walked around for a while, hand in hand.

"Do you want to sit?" Remus asked at length.

"Oh," Faye said. "Well, I'm tired, but I don't think I should sit…not in this dress, anyway." She pointed at her white dress. "It's Marci's."

"No problem," Remus said. "Here, you can sit on my jacket."

"No, I really shouldn't," she laughed. "You can sit, Remus. I'll stand."

"It's okay," Remus said, laying his jacket down on the ground. "Please, sit."

Faye paused for a bit, then smiled. "Okay." She sat down, and he sat down beside her.

The birds seemed to sing for them as they sat there. The wind blew gently, and the leaves swirled, creating a circle around them.

"These shoes are killing me!" Faye said, shortly after sitting down. She took off her white heels and flung them beside her.

Remus laughed. "High heels look uncomfortable."

"Believe me, love, they are," Faye said, grinning. "I can barely walk in those things. But Lily insisted I wear some nice shoes to go along with the dress. It supposedly completes my quote-un-quote "beauty" makeover."

"You never did need it," Remus said, smiling at her. "Though you look great today, you never needed it."

"I didn't?"

Remus shook his head. "You're always beautiful to me."

If it was any other guy, Faye would have rolled her eyes and slapped him right then and there for such a lame pick-up line. But Remus said it with such sincerity in his voice that it didn't sound corny at all. She knew that he truly and honestly meant it.

"Thanks," she whispered. She put her head on his shoulder, and he put his arm around her waist. They sat like this for a while, admiring the beautiful scenery. The sky was bright for them, and spring was turning into summer. But the forest clearing seemed perfect, with the perfect weather and the right amounts of cool, fresh air.

After a while, Remus reached into his pocket for the bracelet that he had planned to give to her. "Faye?"

"Yeah?" she answered.

"I have something to give to you."

"Oh," she said, straightening up and turning to look at him, with a bit of an odd look in her eyes. "What's the occasion? You already gave me something for Valentine's day. And my birthday's not for another half-year."

"Well," Remus grinned sheepishly. "Think of it as a really, really late Christmas present."

She laughed. "Wow, it _is_ pretty late."

"I've been studying, and we've both been really busy…" Remus trailed off.

Faye smiled at him. "Remus, there's no need to explain. No matter what it is, it's the thought that counts."

Remus drew out the velvet box and handed it to her. "I hope you like it."

Faye opened the box slowly, and her breath caught in her throat. What a beautiful bracelet! The purple and white pearls interchanged to bring off a shiny feel to the piece of jewelry. It captured the light just right. Faye's fingers trembled as she took it out of the box.

"Here, I'll help you put it on," Remus said, gently clasping the bracelet onto her wrist. "Well? What do you think?" he asked nervously. "Is it okay?"

"Okay?" Faye said, half-sobbing with emotion. "It's gorgeous! Where did you get it?"

"It was my mom's," Remus said. "She said she wanted me to give it to you, because she's heard so much about you and said you sounded like a great girl for me," Remus flushed.

"I love it," Faye said, feeling a lone tear slide down her face. "Thank you so much."

"Anything for you," Remus said sincerely.

Faye looked guiltily down at her knees. "I'm sorry I couldn't get you anything better than a hand-made card."

"Hey," Remus said, smiling down at her. She looked up at him. "It was a beautiful card. Didn't you just tell me it was the thought that counts? Besides," he smiled. "I have everything already, right here."

They looked at each other for a while, Faye through her teary, loving eyes and Remus through his 'head-over-heels in love' eyes. As an unknown force drew the couple closer and closer, Faye smiled. "Nervous?"

Remus let out a small laugh. "Absolutely." He paused. "Are we doing the right thing? Are we ready?"

Faye looked at him and nodded. "Absolutely," she whispered.

And among the swirling leaves and the crisp spring wind where the sunlight streamed through and landed softly on the two, her lips captured his, and they both felt that they could stay in the forest clearing forever, in each other's arms.

* * *

"Where on earth are Remus and Faye?" Peter asked.

"Dunno," Sirius shrugged. He wrapped his arms tighter around Nora's waist. She giggled.

"They'd better get here soon," James said. "I'm starving."

"You're always starving," Sirius chortled.

"That's coming from the eater himself," James said, scowling.

"It's alright boys, play nice," Marcella giggled as she and a grudging Lily sat down at the table in the Three Broomsticks.

"Marcella! Lily!" Sirius exclaimed loudly. "When did you get here?"

"Just now," Lily said resentfully.

"Aw, no need to sound so reluctant," Sirius beamed. "Admit it. You love being here."

"Speak for yourself, Black," Lily snapped.

"Don't mind her," James said haughtily. "She's always in a bad mood."

"Shut up, Potter," Lily snapped angrily. "You know _nothing_ about me."

James threw up his hands. "Just reporting the truth, Evans."

"Why you -!"

"Alright, cool it, you two," Marcella interrupted. "Let's try to have a fight-free lunch."

"Easier said than done, Marcella," James said. "Evans here is being hellistic."

"_I'm_ being hellistic?" Lily said angrily, standing up in rage and knocking her chair over.

"Yes," James said coldly. "You really should learn to control yourself -"

"Marcella," Lily interrupted. "Can we go? It was a bad idea to come here."

"Please, stay," James said loudly. "I need to go over some Quidditch strategies with you."

"Marci," Lily said, with a pleading look in her eyes. "Please."

Marcella looked at James and Lily, then sighed. "Sorry guys. I really should be going now." She stood up. "I'll see everyone later. James, we'll go over that strategy some other time." With that, she and a grateful-looking Lily headed out of the shop.

"Thank you so much," Lily breathed once outside in the street.

"Of course," Marcella grinned. "You're my best friend, Lils."

"Thanks," Lily said again. She then stomped her foot angrily. "That Potter…!"

"I agree, some of the things he said _were_ out of line," Marcella said soothingly. "But I do wish that you two would stop bickering every single time you see each other."

"Like Potter said back there, it's easier said than done," Lily said, sighing in frustration. The two girls walked along the Hogsmeade path, with Lily kicking pebbles angrily. "He always gets on my nerves, Marci."

"He's a nice guy," Marcella defended. "But you two are obviously too different to get along."

"No kidding," Lily said sarcastically. She sighed again. "Oh well, Potter's not worth my time. I'll just put him out of my mind, and enjoy the rest of the trip."

Marcella grinned appreciatively. "That's the spirit."

As the two girls walked further up along the path, they saw Faye and Remus heading their way, hand in hand.

"Hi, Lily, hi Marci!" Faye said cheerfully, waving.

"Hey," Remus smiled.

"Hello, you two," Marcella laughed as the two groups approached each other and halted. "You're late for your lunch group."

"We know," Remus said. "They won't mind."

"They were a bit worried, I think," Marcella said.

"Oh. Well, we were having fun," Remus smiled. "We're meeting them now, so all's good."

"Speaking of lunch group, why aren't you in there?" Faye asked. "I thought you two were going to join us?"

"You can have your friend to thank for that, Remus," Lily said, clenching her teeth.

"Uh oh, what did James do now," Remus said, trying not to laugh.

"I suggest you ask him," Lily said angrily.

Sensing danger, Marcella grabbed Lily by the arm. "Have fun, you two," she said to Remus and Faye. "Come on, let's go, Lily."

"I'll see you girls later," Faye said. She and Remus waved them goodbye, and watched as Marcella tried to calm Lily down. Faye turned to Remus. "So I'm guessing James is really over Lily?"

They started walking again toward the Three Broomsticks, and Remus nodded. "I guess so. It's not a shame; I've had to watch those two fight at each other's throats for a long time. If this is the end of it, I guess I'll be thankful."

Faye nodded. They soon arrived at the Three Broomsticks, and found the group waiting for them.

"Finally," Sirius said. "We were getting worried."

"Sorry," Remus grinned.

"Where were you two?" Nora asked.

"We were in a forest clearing," Faye said, smiling serenely. "It was beautiful up there."

"We should go sometime," Nora said to Sirius.

"Sure," he replied, not even looking at her.

"Did Remus give you the bracelet?" James asked. Remus kicked him under the table. "Ow!" James said, rubbing his leg.

Faye laughed. "He did. And I love it. It means even more to me that it once belonged to his mother."

"Ooh, let's see," Nora said, smiling.

Faye obliged, and held out her hand. Nora couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy at seeing the beautiful bracelet. Sure, Sirius had given her something, but there was almost no sentimental value attached to it.

Lunch went by uneventfully. The whole time, Nora was torn in her feelings toward Sirius. On the one hand, she knew she was the luckiest girl in the whole school; why, she was going out with Sirius Black! They had fun together, but it usually ended up in snogging. She didn't mind that, but still…

The pretty blonde looked across the table at Remus and Faye. They were sharing that secret smile with each other, and looking at each other with something special. Nora didn't even know if they had kissed yet; they certainly never made it public. But looking at their relationship, she knew that they had something. Love.

Something she wasn't sure if she and Sirius would ever be able to achieve.

Because all they did was make out…and sure, she didn't mind, but she wanted something real. And here she was, going out with someone that refused to call her his girlfriend.

"Honeypumpkin, you ready to go?"

Nora jerked her head around to the grinning face of Sirius. "Oh," she said. "Yeah. Let's go."

They said goodbye to Remus, Faye, Peter and James, and headed out the door. Sirius led her around the back of some stores until they were at a secluded spot near the back of town. They stopped walking, and Sirius put his arm around her waist. As he had done so many times before, he leaned in to kiss her.

After a short while, she broke the kiss, shaking her head.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked.

Nora shook her head again. "Can we – oh, I don't know… can we just not make out?" she breathed. "Not right now."

Sirius drew her closer. "Is it me?" he asked, grinning cheekily.

Nora laughed in spite of herself. "No," she smiled, pushing him away playfully. "I just don't feel like making out right now."

Sirius looked a bit mystified, but nodded. "Okay." He paused. "So…what do you want to do?"

"Can we just…talk, or something?" Nora said, looking up at him.

"Uh, sure," Sirius said hesitantly.

"Okay," Nora said.

They sat down on the ground and attempted to talk for a while, but Sirius kept trying to lean in and kiss her again. Nora found it more frustrating to talk to him than to study for exams. It wasn't easy at all; they had a lot of awkward silences. Nora was discomfited by this revelation; she was surprised and angry that they couldn't even make simple conversation. But then again, it should come as no surprise; they hardly ever talked anyway. It was snogging, over and over again.

"Can we go back to the castle?" she finally said. "It's getting late."

"I guess," Sirius said reluctantly. "I'll walk you back to your common room."

"Okay," Nora said.

The couple headed back to the castle, and Nora allowed Sirius to kiss her goodnight in front of the Hufflepuff common room. Then, she headed back up to her dormitory; she had a lot of things to think about.

* * *

"Lily, can I please talk to you and Marcella after patrol?" Faye asked nervously.

"Of course," Lily said. "Is anything wrong?"

Faye looked down at her feet. "It's about me and Remus."

Lily put her hands to her mouth. "Are you guys okay? Is anything wrong?"

"Nothing serious," Faye said, shaking her head. "I-I just need to talk to you and Marci."

"Sure," Lily said. "Our patrol's over soon, we'll go up to the dormitory. Mary, Lauren and Rachael are off somewhere…again."

Faye let out a small smile. "Thanks."

It was lucky that Faye and Lily were paired to do patrol on this particular night. A few days after the Hogsmeade trip, Faye felt like she needed to talk to the girls, one on one. Patrol wasn't fun, but she was grateful that it was with Lily this time.

Lily was apprehensive about her next patrol - it would be with Severus Snape.

Nothing happened around the castle, and the two girls retreated to Lily's dormitory directly after patrol. As Lily had said, Janie, Lauren and Rachael were not there. Marcella was comfortably sitting on her bed, reading a muggle novel.

"Hey Marci," Faye said as the two girls entered the dorm.

"Hey!" she said, putting her book down. "What brings you here, Faye?"

"She needs to talk to us," Lily said quietly.

Marcella at once looked concerned. "Is anything wrong?"

"It's nothing serious," Faye said.

"It is about you and Remus?" Marcella asked.

Faye nodded.

"Well, sit then, you two, don't stand," Marcella said, letting out a grin. The three girls sat together on Marcella's bed. Faye twiddled her fingers nervously.

"So?" Lily said, looking intently at Faye. "We're here to listen."

"Spill," Marcella said, smiling.

Faye took a deep, shuddering breath. "Did you guys see that gorgeous bracelet that Remus gave me?"

"No, we haven't yet," Lily said.

Marcella smiled. "Well, I'm not wearing it now for safe-keeping, but let me just tell you something, it's the prettiest thing I've ever seen." Then her smile faltered. "In fact, it's too pretty. It was once his mom's, and I'm sure it was expensive."

"Faye," Marcella said gently. "Are you worried that Remus is spending too much on you?"

"I feel like I have nothing to give back to him!" she said quietly, trying not to cry.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

Faye looked at them and smiled ruefully. "My family…is not that well off, did you know that?"

Lily and Marcella looked puzzled, and shook their heads.

Faye gave a small laugh, and looked toward the window. "Ever since my little brother died, things went completely downhill for our family." She sighed. "My father started having health problems. Heart attacks and strokes were common. Treatment, obviously, is expensive at Muggle hospitals." She paused, and Lily could see how hard it was for her to talk about these problems.

"My mother is working three jobs right now to support us. She's so tired and so worn out, that at times she's even incapable of doing magic," Faye continued. "She's the strongest person I know."

"I'm so sad for you," Marcella said quietly. She had forgotten about her own problems in light of her friend.

"I considered not coming back to school this year," Faye said.

"Why?" Lily asked, surprised.

Faye shrugged sadly. "I wanted to stay home and work. My other little brother is too young to help out." She sighed. "My mother insisted I come back to school. She was so happy I was made a Prefect. My father was a Prefect."

"But what does this have to do with Remus?" Lily asked gently.

Faye bit her lip. "I feel like I don't have anything to give." She looked down at her knees. "I'll never be able to ask him out on a date, because I simply lack the galleons to pay for it. I feel…guilt. Frustration with myself."

"Don't be like that," Marcella said firmly. "Remus loves you, no matter what."

"But I can't wash away this feeling of immense guilt whenever he gives me something, like this bracelet. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

Lily looked at her friend sympathetically. Part of Faye made no sense, but part of her made perfect sense. She was petrified and felt like she couldn't give Remus anything back for all the love he was showing her. But love isn't materialistic. Love wasn't Sirius and Nora. Love is devoid of riches and appearances.

"Love is real," Lily said aloud. She smiled at Faye warmly. "You can't worry about this. It doesn't matter; you and Remus are perfect for each other."

Faye sighed. "I'll never be able to wash away this feeling of guilt."

"And maybe you shouldn't," Lily said.

"Why?" Faye asked, puzzled.

"Like I said, love is real. This will remind you that Remus loves you unconditionally, not because of materialistic gains," Lily explained.

"Lily is right," Marcella nodded. "It won't weaken your relationship, I can guarantee that."

"But –"

"You've done all you can for your family," Lily said firmly. "Don't blame yourself for that."

"And Remus loves you," Marcella said. "I can see it in his eyes. Gold isn't going to change that."

Faye paused, then smiled hesitantly. "I guess I can believe that."

Lily and Marcella cheered, and they both gave her a big hug.

"Thank you both," Faye said once the girls separated. "Thanks for everything."

"Of course," Marcella beamed.

"Plus, you and Remus are too cute together," Lily grinned.

Faye turned red, and the three girls immediately burst out laughing together.

* * *

"Sirius, I need to talk to you," Nora said as she kissed her "boyfriend" goodbye in front of the charms classroom.

Sirius didn't seem to hear; he kept on kissing her.

"SIRIUS!" Nora said loudly. A couple of heads around them turned.

Sirius seemed startled. "Yes?" he said, drawing back and looking at her.

"I need to talk to you," Nora breathed.

"Now?"

Nora rolled her eyes. "No. Meet me at the Hufflepuff common room at lunch."

"Okay," Sirius said easily.

As scheduled, Nora headed to her common room at lunchtime, knowing perfectly well that no one would be around to ear their conversation. A couple of stragglers were passing the halls at this point, trying to make it to class on time.

Nora saw Sirius ahead, and breathed a sigh of relief that he had kept his word. She was about to call out his name when two girls passed in front of him, and he greeted them.

"Hello Lily, Marcella," Sirius said, grinning.

"Hello yourself," Marcella said.

"Marci, let's go," Lily said. "I'm hungry."

"I won't detain you ladies then," Sirius said charmingly. "By the way Marcella, you look great." He winked at her.

Marcella laughed, and headed off with Lily, waving Sirius goodbye.

By this time, Nora had caught up to Sirius already. "Hey honeypumpkin," Sirius said as she walked alongside him. She ignored him.

His grin faltered. "Is something wrong?"

She stopped, and he stopped as well. "Is something wrong?" she said incredulously. "I've never known you to be so ignorant!"

"What on earth are you going on about?" Sirius asked, incredibly puzzled.

"I'm tired of you flirting with other girls in front of my face!" Nora said loudly.

Sirius frowned for a moment. "Are you talking about Marcella?"

"Maybe I am," Nora said angrily.

"You're crazy," Sirius said, shaking his head. "I have not been flirting with anyone. Marcella and I are friends."

"But you don't even happen to care how I feel, Sirius?" Nora snapped.

"What has gotten into you?" Sirius asked hotly. "We were getting along fine! This is completely not like you."

"Not like me?" Nora yelled, voice rising dramatically. "_Not like me_? Tell me then, Sirius, what _is_ like me?"

Sirius looked taken aback. "I –"

"Well? Answer me!" Nora shouted. "I'm not stupid, Sirius! You don't know me!"

"What are you going on about?" Sirius said loudly.

"What's my favorite color?"

"I-"

"Answer me!" Nora's voice was now up to a scream. "What's my favorite food? What's my favorite class? What's my hobby? And WHAT, SIRIUS, IS MY LAST NAME?"

Sirius stood there, completely dumbfounded. "Nora," he started.

"You are unbelievable!" Nora shouted, feeling tears spring immediately to her eyes. "You can't even tell me my last name! Well, I'm sick of it! I'm sick of you flirting with other girls. I'm sick of snogging, I'm sick of you!"

Sirius recovered himself. "Well, fine!" he snapped. "I can't deal with you being unreasonable anymore."

"Unreasonable?" Nora said in a deadly voice. "I am not a robot, Sirius Black. I have feelings. I'm not going to bow and jump when you tell me to. I'm not going to snog you whenever you feel like it. And in case you haven't noticed, I want a real relationship, something that you can _never_ give me."

"And why is that?" Sirius asked, eyes narrowed.

"Your feelings aren't real," Nora snapped. "I don't just want to be a-a make-out puppet!"

Sirius gnashed his teeth together in anger. "For all you said about me not knowing you, you sure know nothing about me either!" he shouted.

"Maybe I don't," Nora yelled. "And maybe it's better off this way!" She spun away, storming madly down the hall. "We're through!"

Sirius stood there, dumbfounded. "Well, fine!" he managed to shout back. He watched as she turned a corner and stormed out of sight. He then turned toward the Great Hall, still in partial shock. As he walked along, he scratched his head, thinking _"what just happened?"_


	40. OWLs

A/N: -cowers in fear at the thought of all readers pummeling me- I'm sorry! I'm so truly sorry! I had finals, and I wanted to write, but I couldn't... I'm so sorry! Don't kill me! AAH! Okay, I'm calm. Seriously, though, I completely apologize for the lack of updates. Now that finals are over, I can write again. YAY!

It's actually ironic because this chapter is about, well, OWL's. It's pretty long, so that should make you all forgive me a little bit... I hope!

redcrushedvelvet: a personal apology!

elise bentwin: Thanks so, so much! I'll try to keep the tense changes to a minimum.

Of course, personal thank yous! I love all the readers and reviewers muchas! Thanks to redcrushedvelvet (thrice! THANK YOU!), elise bentwin, miwako, windstar, and DSK. You guys are amazing with a capital A!

Disclaimer: A special disclaimer for this chapter. I did use some direct quotes from Order of the Pheonix, and I acknowledge that they do belong solely to JKR and not me. Don't sue me, please :)

* * *

_June, 1975_

* * *

O.W.L.'s

The atmosphere grew tenser each time exams came, but the O.W.L.'s always approached with an impending sense of doom. These tests were the epitome of stress. It was the test that made or broke the career choices of the fifth years. Naturally, everyone was nervous and in a wreck. Save two.

"So she accuses me of flirting with Marcella!" Sirius said, frowning.

James stared at him in disbelief. "What?"

"That's preposterous!" Sirius exclaimed, slamming his hand against Remus's bedpost. "Yeah, Marcella's a pretty girl, but I would never purposely…you know, seriously flirt with someone while I was going out with her!"

"But maybe just a little?" James said, grinning.

Sirius scowled, and didn't answer.

James laughed. He ran his hands through his own hair. "So you guys are officially broken up?"

Sirius nodded. "Yep. And I'm personally not that sad."

"Really," James said in disbelief.

"Yep," Sirius said, stretching out his arms and almost hitting James in the face. "I'm over that girl. Done. Done with the jealousy and whatnot. I mean, come on, me and Marcella? The whole thing with you and Lily's feud and her being Lily's best friend…well, it would never work out."

"Nice to know you're thinking of me," James laughed.

"You know it, mate," Sirius said, conjuring a ball of yarn out of midair.

"But honestly Padfoot, me and Marci have become friends," James shrugged.

"Put a cork in it," Sirius said, grinning lopsidedly. "With Remus down my back about studying for these exams, I've already been badgered enough." He threw the ball of yarn at James.

"True," James grinned, catching it in his left hand. "But you're not the only victim of Remus Lupin. He keeps trying to persuade me to live in the library with him, or conjure the dormitory somehow to fit in there."

Sirius grinned appreciatively. "So he and Peter are in the library now?"

James nodded. "I barely dodged them."

"Nice move," Sirius laughed. "I'm going have to do that whenever I see Nora now."

"Shame," James said. "She was cute."

"She's crazy!" Sirius said loudly.

"So what else _did_ Nora accuse you of?" James asked interestedly.

"Other than accusing me of flirting with Marcella?"

"Yep," James said, leaning back against the bed.

"She…er…bluntly told me that I didn't know anything about her," Sirius shrugged. "She started yelling at me and asking all these questions, like what her favorite color is. I mean, come on! I thought she wouldn't care about stuff like that."

"All about the snogging?" James said, grinning mischievously

"Oh shut it," Sirius scowled.

James simply laughed. He chucked the ball of yarn back at Sirius

"She thinks I didn't care about her enough to even know her last name," Sirius continued. "Which is completely preposterous, by the way."

James grinned. "So what _is_ her last name?"

Sirius frowned. "Uh…"

James exploded in laughter.

"Hold on!" Sirius said. "It's coming to me. Really." He screwed up his face in concentration. "I knew it at one point, I'm sure…"

James shook his head in disbelief, but kept on laughing.

"Got it!" Sirius said. "Arly, right?"

James grinned. "No, but nice try. It's Angy." He ran his hands through his hair again.

"I knew that," Sirius scoffed.

"Maybe Nora isn't so crazy after all," James said, smiling.

Sirius glared at him angrily. "Whose side are you on?"

"Yours, mate," James said, still grinning. He threw up his hands.

"Fine," Sirius snapped. He slumped down on the floor.

"Ah, lighten up," James said easily. "Besides, there's plenty more fish in the sea."

Sirius didn't respond. They sat in silence for a while. Sirius threw the ball of yarn so hard it flew out the window. The two friends heard exclamations from girls down on the grounds as the yarn flew onto them.

"You'll get over her," James said finally, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. "She's kind of…well, you'll get over her."

"I'm already over her," Sirius shrugged.

James looked at him silently.

Sirius sighed. "Maybe not." He punched his fist into Remus's mattress. "Maybe not," he said again, and he looked pained.

"Feel like destroying something?" James asked his friend knowingly.

"Yes," Sirius simply answered.

James nodded. "Okay. Go on."

Sirius flew up into a familiar rage. James seated himself at the corner of the dormitory, watching Sirius destroy everything, even James's most prized possessions. James didn't care. Sirius needed to let out his anger, in some form or another. If this was the best way to do it, James was willing to give up anything to help out his friend.

He watched calmly as Sirius tore the room apart, knowing that after Sirius let his rage out, he would be okay again. And they could repair the dormitory together, before Remus passed out from shock.

* * *

"Two weeks before the exams!" Lily said nervously, wringing her hands. "What on earth am I supposed to do? I'll fail everything! I know it!"

"Lily!" Marcella said, trying to calm her friend. It was a good thing the Charms corridor was empty.

Tensions were running high all throughout the castle as the fifth years prepared to take their exams. Lily was one of the worst at controlling her anxiety and fears. A particularly awkward number of patrols with Snape did not help her mood either. She and Snape tried to chat like they had used to, but she knew that he had changed by the tone of his voice. Their last conversation, where she accused him of being just like his friends, still rang deep in his mind. They instead spent most of their time bickering about trivial things, which made both of them irritated and angry.

"Marcella, tell me I'll fail everything! Oh no, what am I going to do?" Lily buried her face in her hands.

"I am not going to tell you that," Marcella said firmly.

"Why?" Lily wailed. "I'll be ashamed to come back to this school after these exams!"

"Lily Evans, you look at me now," Marcella said, grabbing her friend's hands firmly. "You are not going to fail these exams. Now stop thinking you will!"

Lily stared at Marcella. "How do you know?" she said desperately.

"If I have to say this again, I will get angry," Marcella said. "Lily, you are smart. You're wonderful. You've done so brilliantly on the last four final exams, so how would this one be any different?"

"Because it's more important," Lily moaned. "It's gonna decide our lives! It's -"

"Just a test," Marcella finished steadily. She let go of Lily's hands.

"But how can you say that?" Lily wailed. "This test – it's so - so nerve-wracking! Aren't you worried that you might fail?"

"Yes," Marcella said calmly. "I am, Lily."

"You are?" Lily asked, surprised.

Marcella nodded. "But I'm not going to show it. Lily, please don't worry about it. Stress won't help. You'll do great. I'm positive."

"But if you're worried, why don't you show it?"

Marcella smiled kindly at her friend. "If I did that, Lils, you would be even more stressed out than you are now. I owe it to myself and you to stay calm."

Lily simply looked at Marcella for a moment, then offered a smile. "You're right." She fidgeted with her hands. "I'm sorry. But I'm just so nervous, you know?"

"I know," Marcella nodded. "But I know you'll do great. You have no reason to do worse on this one than any of the other past exams. Trust yourself, Lily. Put faith in yourself. You'll be fine."

"But -"

"Breathe Lily," Marcella said.

Lily took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

"There we go," Marcella beamed.

Lily smiled gratefully at her friend. "Thank you so much, Marci. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Marcella laughed. "You'd survive. Especially after what I'm going to tell you next."

Lily looked suspiciously at her friend. "What would that be?"

"You'll hate me for this," Marcella said, grinning. She grabbed Lily's hand and led her down the corridor.

"Where are we going?" Lily asked, puzzled.

"Study session," Marcella said calmly.

"With whom?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"Remus and Peter," Marcella said airily.

"Is that it?" Lily asked.

"And James and Sirius…" Marcella trailed off.

Lily stopped dead in her tracks. Marcella was jerked back by the motion, and had to balance herself to keep from falling.

"You can't be serious!" Lily said loudly, frowning.

"I am plenty serious," Marcella said.

"Since when was this arranged?"

"James asked me to join a study group with him and his friends during Quidditch practice," Marcella said.

Lily frowned. "And you actually accepted?"

"Yes," Marcella said, rather defiantly.

"B-But James Potter…he doesn't _study_!" Lily said, throwing up her hands.

Marcella was inclined to laugh at this, but she didn't. "Well, maybe you should just give him a chance…" she said carefully.

"I've given him plenty," Lily snapped. "You know I hate him, Marci, why are you doing this?"

Marcella sighed. "Lily, I'm sorry for this, but can you please just go with me? Please? Remus will be there, and we'll seat you far away from Potter and Black. We all really do need to study, and I think Remus might have some vital notes. I promised them I would go, but it'd be no fun without you." Marcella looked pleadingly at her friend. "Please?"

Lily looked back at Marcella for a moment, then sighed, giving in. "Oh, alright," she said grudgingly after a pause.

Marcella let out a little cheer.

"But you owe me," Lily said, grinning.

"Of course," Marcella laughed.

The two girls finally made their way up to the Gryffindor common room, where they found the Marauders assembled on the floor with a pile of notes in front of them.

"Hello Marcella," James beamed as the two girls walked over.

"Glad to see you could make it," Remus smiled. "Have a seat on the carpet. It's comfy."

Marcella and Lily laughed.

"Hey Sirius, Peter," Marcella grinned. They greeted her warmly.

James looked up at Lily. "Evans," he said coolly, nodding at her.

"Potter," she said, just as coolly. She and Marcella sat down, and Lily made sure she had Remus and Peter on one side of her and Marcella and Sirius on the other side of her before she settled and opened a book.

Everyone started giving each other mini-lectures. Lily was elected to do both Charms and Potions. James was nominated for Transfiguration. Remus and Sirius were nominated for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Sirius was nominated for Care of Magical Creatures, and Marcella was chosen to do Astronomy and for those who were taking it, Ancient Runes.

Lily was in the middle of explaining a charm to the group when a loud snort came from across her. She looked up to see Sirius and James rolling around on the floor about something.

"Uh, Lily," Marcella said nervously, trying to head off a fight.

"Shut up you two," Lily snapped at the boys.

James and Sirius smiled jeeringly at her, and kept on guffawing.

"Why on earth do I bother?" Lily fumed.

"I don't know," James said innocently. He and Sirius burst into laughs.

"If you two don't shut up…" Lily growled.

"Ignore them," Remus sighed, putting a hand on her arm.

"Yeah, go on," Marcella encouraged. "What were you saying about head-shrinking charms?"

With one last look of contempt at James and Sirius, Lily turned and began to speak of the charm to the rest of the group again. Another two minutes into her speech, another loud snorting noise from James and Sirius interrupted her.

"Will you two shut up?" she roared. A couple of first years scuttled out of the common room in alarm at this.

"Who made you the boss?" Sirius asked, looking nonchalantly up at the ceiling.

"I don't seem to recall," James grinned. He and Sirius snickered.

Lily grinded her teeth in impatience, then picked up her wand. "I think it would be more helpful if I demonstrated the charm," she said shortly to Remus, Peter and Marcella. Before James or Sirius could even draw into their robes to take out their wands, Lily, with a wave of anger, aimed two head-shrinking charms at Sirius and James. Immediately, their heads shrunk to the size of marbles.

This time, it was Lily, Marcella and Peter who rolled around in laughter. Remus grinned appreciatively. The charm reminded him of the Marauders' first ever Halloween prank.

"That's not fair!" James said in a squeaky voice. His head was not even the size of his thumb.

"Put us back right!" Sirius squeaked under his now very short black hair.

"Sorry guys, we can't," Marcella said, trying to suppress her laughter and failing miserably.

"Why not?" James squeaked desperately.

"Lily didn't get to the counter-charm yet," Remus said matter-of-factly.

Lily smiled winningly at them.

"Well hurry up, will you?" Sirius squeaked impatiently.

"Sorry boys," Lily said smugly. "But I have a lot of other stuff to get through before then. Who knows? This could take all night."

"This is so wrong," Sirius moaned. "I look like a headless monster with a zit on my neck."

Marcella stifled a giggle at this.

"I'm going to get you back for this, Evans," James breathed. He glared at her out of tiny eyes. "I'll get you back if it's the last thing I do."

"Get me back, Potter, and it _will_ be the last thing you do," Lily snarled.

"We'll see about that," James muttered under his breath.

* * *

Thus, tensions were extremely high even before the start of exams, something the fifth years definitely did not need at that moment. James and Lily remained on the verge of cursing each other into oblivion before the test, and that added pressure to everyone around them, mainly the Marauders, Marcella and Faye.

"Lily and James are sworn enemies then?" Faye had asked Remus when they first started dating. Remus had explained to her their pasts, and nodded. Faye wasn't exactly sure why, but with those two around, nobody needed a reason.

Because tensions were so high, Lily resorted, in times of absolute frustration, to give detentions out to James and Sirius, ignoring her promise to Remus for the time being. James and Sirius responded by silently muttering curses at her in the hallway or tripping her whenever she got close.

"POTTER!" Lily screeched one afternoon in the hallways. James ran away, laughing, Sirius at his side. Lily had tripped over what she was certain to be a leg, a leg attached to Potter. She had dropped all her books, and her face was red with anger.

Marcella helped her friend up. "You okay?"

"I guess," Lily growled. The sound of laughter was still ringing in the hallway. "God, I hate those two," she snapped.

"You have full reasons to," Marcella agreed. She placed some of Lily's fallen books in her friend's hand.

"Thanks," Lily said, still angry. "If he didn't run away, I would have given him triple detention."

"Ah, don't mind them," Marcella said easily. "Boys will be boys."

People had stopped to stare at Lily, and now they dispersed. Lily picked up the rest of her books, eyes still sparking with anger. "How can you say that?" she moaned as she and Marcella continued down the hall. "They don't bother you. They don't jinx you."

"So are you telling me you prefer the James that was in love with you?" Marcella said, mouth twitching.

Lily paused indignantly. "Heavens, no!" she exclaimed. "That was even worse than what he is now. Besides," she added. "This new behavior gives me the chance to get revenge."

"Can't you just, oh, I don't know, be civil to him?" Marcella asked imploringly.

"No," Lily said flatly. "He's not going to be civil to me."

Marcella, sensing that the matter was closed, simply shrugged and continued down the hall.

The days of the exams came in frenzy. The Marauders vented their feeling by constantly cursing Snivellus. Lily was hysterical in nervousness, Marcella was sympathetic. When the fifth years were finally called into the Great Halls to sit their written Charms exams, some kids were shaking, but most were on the verge of tears.

"I can't do this," Lily moaned as she and the rest of the fifth years stood outside the Great hall.

"Yes you can," Marcella said firmly. "Breathe."

Professor McGonagall stood in front of the Great Hall gravely as the students were admitted in. Lily was trying to remember to breathe as she entered the room. The four great tables had been replaced by many table of one, all facing the front of the room where McGonagall was standing. The students took their seats nervously. McGonagall offered what might have been a tiny smile at the fifth years.

"You may begin," she said out loud when everyone was seated and ready to go. "There are spare pieces of parchment, ink bottles, and spare quills behind me, if you should need them."

Then, the giant hourglass started going, and Lily turned over her paper, heart pounding. As the test went on, Lily had many different feeling. Sometimes she let out sighs of relief, knowing the answer to the problem. Sometimes, however, she felt her lungs tighten at a difficult problem, and had to remind herself to breathe. She wasn't particularly worried about Charms, however; it was her best subject, next to potions.

Across the room, Peter was green in the face from a mixture of nervousness, horror, and an upset stomach. He felt like puking at every answer he wrote down, highly unsure of almost every one. He had to calm himself down before going hysterical, trying to remember all the information Remus, James and Sirius had given to him.

Finally, after two hours of agonizing torture, the parchments were collected, and the students were admitted out of the Great Hall.

"Thank God that's over," Remus breathed once he and the Marauders were outside.

"Why are you so uptight?" Peter whined. "I'm sure you did great! I felt like puking at every answer."

"Did that help you for the questing on puking charms?" Sirius asked innocently.

"There was a question on that?" Peter squeaked.

"Calm down," James said, laughing. "Padfoot's joking."

"Oh," Peter said.

"Stop being so thick," James said impatiently.

"I'm hungry," Sirius complained.

"Wanna go down to the kitchens and nick something before lunch?" Remus grinned.

"You read my mind, Moony," Sirius grinned back.

After lunch with the rest of the school, the Marauders stood outside the Great Hall once more, waiting to be called in for their Charms practical exams. Nora Angy was called in first, and Sirius determinedly avoided her eyes. Soon, Sirius Black had been called, Lily Evans had been called, Marcella Greenwald had been called, and the rest of the Marauders stood outside.

"Lupin, Remus," Flitwick said loudly. Remus offered one last grin at his friends, then headed on inside the Great Hall.

"You friend thinks he's so smart, doesn't he," a voice whispered scathingly from behind James and Peter. They whipped around to see Snape standing there, mouth curled into an unpleasant grin.

"You shut up about Remus," James growled.

"Defend the pathetic boy all you want," Snape spat. "He's still a filthy half-blood."

"Shut up!" James snapped loudly, pulling out his wand. A bunch of fifth years turned to watch the scene.

"James, no!" Peter whispered urgently. "Not now!"

"Get away," James said, brushing Peter away.

"Is there a problem here?" Flitwick interrupted, staring at the three boys.

"No, professor," James said, trying not to hit Snape.

"Good," Flitwick said. "Pettigrew, Peter, inside."

"Good luck," James said to his friend. Peter, turning green, walked into the hall.

It was a very tense couple of minutes as James and Snape stood near each other, wands clutched in their hands, each poised to attack if the other should make a move to harm them. Finally, Potter, James, was called into the testing room, and with one last vindictive look at Snivellus, James walked away into the Great Hall.

Maddened and unable to concentrate, James nonetheless performed his spells correctly. Though he did mess up on the coloring charm, turning his test bunny into ten skunks (in which the testing had to be halted immediately to quell the stench before it spread), overall James was very pleased with what he had accomplished. Even after that, however, he still came out of the room fuming over greasy Snape.

"We heard," Sirius said as James opened his mouth to speak. "Peter told us."

James was sure he was well out of the way of the Great Hall before letting his anger out by cursing a nearby first year.

"It's not that big of a deal," Remus shrugged.

"Says you," James growled. "Let me get my hands on that Snape… he'll wish he had never been born."

"Greasy git," Sirius agreed.

But the Marauders didn't have too much time to dwell on Snape. Exams were coming at them full speed, and yet every second in the examination room seemed to be at a snail's pace. Transfiguration was the next day, and James went into the examination hall feeing supremely confident. He came out of the written part beaming while Peter was close to tears. During the practical, as well, James thought he nailed every spell. Sirius laughed about messing up a Switching Spell by switching a bunny's ears on its buttock. Remus simply snorted and almost choked of laughter.

Herbology went by in a breeze. Before the fifth years knew it, it was Thursday, time for the Defense Against the Dark Arts exams. Lily and Marcella stood outside the Great Hall in the morning, muttering spells to each other. James was telling Peter a joke, and Remus was laughing over something with Sirius. Both Remus and Sirius were extremely confident.

They were led into the Great Hall, and took their seats as they had done times before. They were allowed to turn over their exam paper, and Remus turned his over excitedly. His knowledge did not disappoint him. He felt that he absolutely expounded on every answer. He especially liked number ten, and had to restrain himself from laughing out loud. However, he wanted to make sure he answered every question as carefully as possible, and so bent back over his paper, scratching his chin absentmindedly.

Over on the other side of the Great Hall was Sirius. He finished every question with ease as well, and sat back in his chair, scouting out the pretty girls of Hogwarts and deciding which lucky girl would be his date for the next Hogsmeade weekend. He avoided Nora, and subconsciously, his eyes kept traveling back to Marcella's dark hair that flowed in a curtain around her face as she concentrated on a problem.

James was also done early. As Sirius sat four seats behind him, he resigned to doodling on a piece of spare parchment. He drew a picture of Snape getting pummeled by a Bludger, then crossed it out. He looked at the giant hourglass. There was still a reasonable amount of time left. Deciding to do what was reasonable, he picked up his parchment and went over the answers to the exam again.

Time seemed to pass slowly for James. He let out a huge yawn that received a disapproving frown from Flitwick but giggles from his classmates. After a while, Flitwick said sharply, "Five more minutes!" James straightened up, and reread his parchment one last time after putting down his quill.

He yawned again from pure boredom. He ran his hand through his hair, annoyed at how irritating the exams were. He just wanted them to be over with. He wanted to talk. After making sure that Flitwick was engrossed in another activity, James turned around and grinned at Sirius.

Sirius grinned back, gave James a thumbs up, and started balancing his chair on two legs as he leaned in his seat. He almost fell over, and James let out a silent snicker. James then went back to doodling on his piece of parchment.

He let his mind wander, and drew a snitch. He could not wait for Quidditch to begin again; it seemed so long since he played it. Gryffindor had won the Quidditch cup again, but James was too eager to get back on a broomstick to care. He was drawing his snitch when he gazed off into space, staring at the ceiling. Unconsciously, without knowing full well what he was doing, he started sketching out two letters: L.E.

He traced them over and over again, looking at them but not fully realizing what they could stand for. He started embellishing it with his quill, still subconsciously staring at the piece of parchment.

"Quills down, please!" Flitwick squeaked out. James jumped in his seat as Flitwick reprimanded Stebbins, and laughed good-naturedly along with several others as Flitwick was knocked to the ground by several hundred flying parchments. Only then did he realize the L.E. he had been embellishing, and hastily crossed the letters out as Flitwick told them they were free to go.

He followed the rest of the students out into the entrance hall, and caught up to his friends.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" Sirius asked, grinning.

"Loved it," said Remus briskly. He recounted the question.

"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" James asked, struggling from laughter in tones of mock-concern.

Remus looked serious. "Think I did," he said as they approached the front doors. "One: He's sitting in my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin…"

James and Sirius guffawed. Peter remained silent, still slightly green from the exam. "I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes, and the tufted tail," he said anxiously, "but I couldn't think what else…"

Sirius rolled his eyes impatiently.

"How thick are you, Wormtail?" said James impatiently. "You run round with a werewolf once a month…"

"Keep your voice down," Remus said anxiously. "I don't need anyone to hear about this…"

"Where are we going anyway?" Peter asked.

"Dunno," James shrugged. "Lake?"

"Yeah," Remus nodded.

While Sirius recounted how easy the exam was, making Peter even greener, James took out a Snitch and started to play with it.

"Where'd you get that?" Peter asked.

"Nicked it," said James casually.

"Ah, our spot," Sirius said as they arrived at the beech tree at the edge of the lake.

"Funny, I didn't know it was ours," Remus said.

"Eh, it is now, Moony," Sirius shrugged. The four friends plopped down on the ground.

Remus took out a book from his backpack and flipped open the pages.

"I can't believe you're studying," Sirius snorted. "What a bunch of rubbish." He settled into the ground and observed the passerby, especially the girls. However, nobody caught his fancy, and he resorted to looking bored.

James, meanwhile, took out his snitch and was making catches with it. Wormtail was clapping and gasping with excitement, and James rather enjoyed it. He kept on making spectacular saves until Sirius told him to stop it.

"Look who it is…" James said at length to Sirius. Sirius turned his head, and immediately a wicked grin came onto his face.

"Excellent. _Snivellus_."

"Brilliant," James said softly, grinning as well. "Let's go have some fun with him."

"A nice way t cure our boredom, isn't he," Sirius said, and they grinned at each other.

The two boys stood up and made their way across the field to Snape. "All right, Snivellus?" James said loudly.

They were expecting Snape to react fast; how many times had they dueled him? Before Snape could curse him, James shouted a disarming spell and it hit perfectly. Following up with a blasting spell, James watched with satisfaction as Snape was blasted off his feet.

"Nice," Sirius said with a bark of laughter.

Both Sirius and James took the chance to hurl some insults at Snape. A crowd was gathering, and that made James and Sirius happier. The more they could humiliate Snape, the better. He deserved it, the greasy slimeball…

Snape swore at them, eyeing them with looks of pure hatred.

"_Scourgify_!" James yelled, and immediately pink soap bubbles appeared at Snape's mouth. "Watch your language, Snivelly."

"Nice," Sirius said again, grinning. He gave James a high-five.

"Now, what should I do with this enviornmental hazard?" James said, pretending to scratch his chin.

"Dunno, Prongs," Sirius said innocently. "Toss him into the river? He needs a bath."

The crowd laughed at this. Behind James and Sirius, Snape was half-choking on the soap bubbles.

Suddenly, a new voice interrupted the fight. "Leave him ALONE!" James turned around to see Lily striding towards him, green eyes sparking. Absently, he ran his hands through his hair.

"All right, Evans?" he asked pleasantly, almost mockingly. He couldn't put the spite in his voice; she was so pretty when she was mad.

She stood in front of him, hands on her hips, obviously steaming with anger. Marcella was watching the scene anxiously.

"Leave him alone. What's he done to you?" Lily asked angrily.

James stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Well, it's more the fact that he _exists_, if you know what I mean…" James said haughtily.

The group of people laughed, and James could hear Sirius and Peter guffawing.

"You think you're funny, but you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone_." Lily stood there angrily, her red hair blowing in the wind. It seemed to give her a fire as she stood there, hands on her hips.

James didn't know what prompted him to do it. Maybe it was the weather, or maybe it was the situation. He himself didn't even see it coming. "I will if you go out with me, Evans," he blurted out before he registered what he was saying. But it was too late to back down now. "Go on," he continued. "Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

At first, Lily looked taken aback, but then assumed that he was mocking her. She looked threateningly at him, and threw an insult that James didn't really register. He was horrified at what he had just done. Did he just ask Lily Evans out? Before he could fully clear his shock, Sirius had yelled "OY!" and he felt a sharp pain on the side of his face. He tasted blood. He reached his hand up to his face and felt the red liquid slide down it.

James, livid, forgot all about his asking Lily out. With a flick of his wand, he used the first popular curse that had been going around the school, quite like the muffliato spell he had learned, and before anyone knew what was happening, Snape was hanging upside down in the air.

"Cool," James said softly. He had been trying to practice the non-verbal _levicorpus _spell ever since a seventh year Slytherin was talking about it, and it was the first time he actually accomplished it.

Lily protested furiously. "Let him down!" she shouted.

James sighed, obliged, and Snape crumpled on the ground. Before Snape could curse back, Sirius had hit him with a body-bind.

Lily was furious. "LEAVE HIM ALONE!" she shouted, and took out her wand. Both James and Sirius eyed it warily, and James obliged her once again by taking the curse off of Snape. "You're lucky Evans was here to defend you," James said, looking spitefully at Snape.

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" Snape snarled as he struggled to his feet.

Lily's eyes had a flash of hurt across them.

"Apologize to Evans!" James yelled instantly.

Remus watched as Lily turned and yelled at James, "You're as bad as he is!"

"What?" James yelped, completely off guard.

Lily glared at him. "You make me SICK," she finally spat, and walked off.

Remus watched as James called after her, but to no avail.

James was now furious with himself, furious with Lily, and furious at Snape. Snape had caused all this. James had just humiliated himself in front of the school. With a flash of light, Snape was once again hanging upside down. James didn't know how to vent his frustration. In a way, he was like Sirius. But Sirius was destructive. James needed a laugh. It might have be the only thing that would have cured him at that moment.

"Who wants me to take of Snivelly's pants?"

The crowd around him cheered, and James bowed, grinning. Sirius was laughing his bark-like laugh. James brandished his wand, and waved it when…

"POTTER!"

James whipped around in surprise. Professor McGonagall was striding toward him, making her way through the audience. Lily Evans was right behind her, a mixture of anger and triumph in her face.

"What is the meaning of this?" McGonagall shouted angrily, her lips thin.

"The meaning of what?" James asked innocently. He flicked his wand behind his back, and Snape fell quickly from the air.

"What happened here?" McGonagall asked, livid.

Snape pulled himself up from the ground, panting. "They attacked me, professor," he said, pointing at James and Sirius. He had a hungry look in his eyes.

"Shut up," Sirius snapped.

"Black, I'm warning you," McGonagall said strictly. "You and Potter, come with me. Now."

Having no choice but to follow her, James and Sirius gave Snape one last evil look, which was met by a taunting smile, and followed McGonagall to her office.

"Fifty points each from Gryffindor," she said briskly as soon as the boys entered her office. "Be thankful it isn't more."

"Oh, come on, professor," Sirius protested.

"Quiet," she snapped as she shut the door and turned to face them. "Miss Evans told me what was happening down at the lake."

"Evans," James said sullenly. "Goody-goody…"

"You ought to be taking a leaf out of her book," McGonagall said, nostrils flared.

"What a horrible thought," Sirius said jokingly. James let out a snigger.

"Another ten points from Gryffindor," McGonagall told Sirius before he could protest. "Now, out of my office. I expect better from you. Report to triple detention starting tomorrow. Good-bye, gentlemen."

She opened the door, shoved them out, and slammed the door in their face before they could protest.

James and Sirius shrugged and began to make their way back to the common room, where Remus and Peter would be waiting for them.

"That was amusing," Sirius grinned, stretching his arm. "Did you see Snivelly's face when he hung upside down?" Sirius sighed in satisfaction. "Perfect."

"Yeah," James agreed listlessly.

Sirius grinned knowingly at him. "I thought you were over Evans?"

"Shut up," James growled.

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "Prongs, s'okay. I know she turned you down, but still…"

"I said shut up about that," James snapped more forcefully. Sirius looked a little taken aback. "It's not important. I don't know why I asked her. It was a momentary lapse of judgment, okay? Drop it."

"Alright," Sirius said easily.

In his mind, James knew that he wasn't over Lily. He remembered the L.E. on his spare parchment. Subconsciously, he still loved her. He knew it. She didn't love him back, and he thought he would be okay with it. He wanted to be over her, but he couldn't be. All he could do now was chase her out of him mind. He would date other people. He would forget that Lily Evans ever existed. And there was nothing else to it.

* * *

"Lily, you have to go outside the common room," Mary Macdonald said breathlessly, approaching Lily in the common room. It was nighttime, and Lily was curled up on the couch with Marcella, chatting.

"Why?" Lily asked, puzzled.

"That Snape boy is out there. He wants to talk to you."

Lily shook her head. "I don't want to talk to him."

"He's threatening to sleep out there."

Lily looked at Marcella, who shrugged. Sighing, she stood up and strode to the portrait hole, still in her dressing gown, and climbed through it.

Snape stood there, arms at his sides, wringing his hands. His face lit up a bit when he saw her come out of the common room, but then he faltered when he saw the look on her face. They stood there for a couple of moments in silence - she had crossed her arms.

"I'm sorry," he finally blurted.

She shook her head. "I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath."

Snape looked into her face. Her green eyes, usually so full of warmth and understanding, were cold and expressionless. "I never meant to call you Mudblood," he heard himself say. "It just -"

"Slipped out?" Lily said contemptuously. She looked at him as if she had never seen him before, studying him carefully. Her voice was steely - she felt no remorse about what she had to do.

The man in front of her had changed into somebody that she could no longer be friends with. He used to be somebody she looked up to, her friend, her best friend. But now - he was a shadow of a man, one who had just insulted her in the worst way possible. After all this time, after all they had been through... she knew in her heart that he would never return to who he used to be.

She felt no pity, and she had none to give him.

"It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends - you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

He tried to speak, but faltered.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

Panic was starting to swell through his body. He couldn't lose her, he couldn't -

"No, listen, I didn't mean -"

" - to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

And before he had a chance to speak, she was gone.

Snape stared at the Fat Lady's portrait, where seconds before Lily had stood in front of. His eyes were expressionless. Without a word, he swept away, willing himself not to look back.


	41. Shifts of Change

A/N: I have been working, I have, I have! I swear! Somehow, I finished the chapter slower thn I would have liked, but still... here it is. I do hope you all enjoy it! This is the last of a semi-lighthearted chapter for a while, so enjoy. We delve into some heavier stuff next time.

-Update- So the typos were abundant. I fixed most of them now, and it should make for an easier read :)

And thank-yous, of course, to all my dedicated readers and reviewers! Thanks to redcrushedvelvet for your continual support! Eep, I'm sweating :) Thanks, miwako! I really will try to get the chapters up sooner! Thanks to 3-Legged-Dog for your continual support! Thanks, Phanthom, twice! And thanks to inu78yasha, I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Without you all, I would be a lonely, lonely fanfiction writer. Thanks so much!

* * *

_August-September, 1975_

* * *

Shifts of Change

It was a short journey from Spinner's End. Severus Snape walked briskly along, his eyes straight on the playground ahead.

His heart was pounding, and thoughts were racing through his head.

Would Lily be there?

He had asked that question to himself ever since he got back to Spinner's end for summer. Since that night at Gryffindor tower, he had not spoken to her. Every time he saw her in the halls of Hogwarts, she was surrounded by others. Once, he saw her walking alone. He had headed in her direction before stopping, and he cursed himself for stopping. But he knew why he did - he didn't want to bear the thought that she could really want nothing to do with him.

Snape walked on. The sunshine shone brightly in the sky, making his pale skin look even more sallow. His tall, thin frame approached the playground where children were laughing and playing.

_It's Sunday_, he thought to himself. Lily always came, every Sunday while on holiday, to see him here. _We would always talk for hours on end. I know I can fix things, I just need to see her, explain..._

He sat down under a tall oak tree, where they had played as children, and he waited.

Thoughts of her flashed through his head - that night on the astronomy tower, where they sat and stared at the stars - that winter when she first held his hand in hers, while the cold winds were nipping at their faces - that summer where her head lay on his shoulder - her warm embrace, her beaming smile, her eyes - her beautiful green eyes -

Hours went by, and still, he waited. Children came and children went. The sun shifted positions in the sky, and Snape was soon sitting alone in the darkness under the moonlight.

She never came.

That one thought consumed him. He grasped a nearby branch and held it tightly in his fist. It crumpled into dust. His chest was in pain.

It really was over, he knew.

And before he even knew what had happened, he felt thick, warm tears trickling down the ends of his hooked nose.

* * *

"How did summer go by so fast?" Sirius moaned. "Sixth year already."

"We're growing up," Remus shrugged.

"But where's the fun in that?" James said, running his hand through his hair. "What's the fun in life if we can't be immature?"

"I see you haven't changed," Remus laughed.

Sirius stretched out his arms. "Nah. The Marauders are fine the way we are."

"I second that," Peter grinned.

The four friends were sitting at the Potter kitchen. Once again, James's parents were out, doing something for work. Heda was cleaning up the living room. The house elf was getting old, and it was something that James had never noticed before, but she was still eager and willing to work for the family.

It was a couple of days before the start of school. None of the friends had received a Hogwarts letter yet, and they all thought that to be quite odd. Nonetheless, they had their final gathering before the start of school.

This summer was different from the past ones. The Marauders could no longer see the bright sunshine as a sign that everything would be alright. Every day, in the newspapers, there would be some account of another person being killed. It was like dark, gloomy clouds lolling over the wizarding world even when the bright light poked through the sky. Every day, they would fear more deaths, more pain. They had already seen James's family go, and Marcella's family.

"Did the paper come yet?" Remus asked anxiously.

Immediately, the mood at the table tensed. "I don't think so," James said. "It would be delivered by owls, and it would be here by now, I think."

There was a moment of silence.

"So, who wants some breakfast?" Sirius asked cheerfully, trying to lighten the mood.

"It's two o'clock in the afternoon," Peter protested.

"Shut up, Wormtail," Sirius said briskly. "My house, my rules."

"My house," James interjected.

"Right," Sirius shrugged. "Same thing."

Remus, James and Peter laughed.

"So how about it?" Sirius asked, grinning. "Breakfast?"

"Sure," James shrugged.

Sirius went and brought orange juice out of the fridge. "Here," he said, pouring it out into four different glasses. "Enjoy. It took me a long time to prepare these."

James grinned. "This is why we love it when you sneak out."

Sirius grinned back. "Yeah, it's not like they'll find out anyway. It's not like they'll actually come looking for me. It's not like they bloody care about what happens to me." His grin faltered, and he slammed his fist on the kitchen counter.

Suddenly, James was sorry he had brought the subject up.

The mood at the table was tense once more. Sirius's eyes, clear a moment ago, were now stormy, always a bad sign. Silence rang louder than any of their voices could.

"Sirius," James started. He wanted to apologize.

"Don't," Sirius said shortly, shaking his head. "Forget it."

"But -"

"Drop it," Sirius snapped. James heeded him.

"Look!" Peter suddenly exclaimed, looking out the window. Five owls were speeding toward the Potter manse, so it formed what looked like a crooked line. Startled, James leapt to his feet, and threw open the kitchen window. The first owl landed before Sirius, and Sirius detached the newspaper tied to its foot.

"Daily Prophet," he said tensely. He flipped open the pages, expecting the worst.

While Sirius was flipping through the pages of the newspaper, James let the other four owls in, one by one. He untied all the letters and watched as they flew off. Then, he brought the four letters to the kitchen counter.

"Anyone we know?" Remus said anxiously as he peered at the Prophet.

"Jacobs…Morley…" he stopped short. "Matle."

"Matle?" James asked in disbelief. "Our Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?"

"That's the one," Sirius said, eyeing the paper, brows furrowed.

"It's true then," Remus said slowly.

"What?" James asked.

Remus turned to look at James. "That job is cursed."

"It seems like it, doesn't it," Sirius said with a twisted smile. "It makes sense." He slammed the paper down on the counter. "Think about it. We've never had a teacher last more than a full year. First, we had Dent. He's gone. Hopkirk, she's at the ministry. That old lady… I forgot her name… she's gone. Storm's gone. And now, Matle's killed."

There was a moment of silence as Sirius's words sank in.

"D– d'you reckon this had something to do with Matle being under Dumbledore's protection?" Peter asked finally.

"I think it has everything to do with it," James said darkly.

"I agree," Remus said wearily. "Matle was a close friend of Dumbledore's. Does it say how he died?"

Sirius scanned the paper and shook his head. "I'm betting it was Avada Kedavra." He motioned casting the spell with an imaginary wand and blasting a house down. Sirius then laughed an eerie, odd laugh, but his eyes didn't match his mouth.

"Why?" Peter squeaked.

"Stop being thick, Wormtail," James said shortly. "What do _you_ think?"

"Voldemort's thinning out everyone that he can get his hands on that aren't on his side," Sirius muttered. "It was only a matter of time."

Peter shuddered.

Suddenly, in a fit of rage, Sirius kicked the wall. He then slammed his fist on the table counter again. "I'm going to be an auror," he said forcefully, as if daring them to object. His chest heaving, he gave them a hard look.

"Your mind's made up, then?" Remus asked, surprised. "We're just beginning our sixth year. Maybe you should wait, see if there's anything else."

"There's nothing else for me," Sirius said, rather quietly, a complete change from his yelling mood. "I'm going to become an auror if it kills me. I don't care. This world…is dying." He paused. "And I'm not letting it go without a fight."

"But are they actually going to let you?" Peter asked.

"What do you mean by that?" Sirius asked indignantly.

"I -"

"Forget it," Sirius snapped. But there was a ray of hope on his face, one that James had not seen for a very long time. "Yeah," Sirius said finally, his tone less angry. He turned to look at his friends. "McGonagall told me they actually would give me a shot, providing I could pass the exams and everything."

"That's great," Remus said truthfully.

"They also said they would provide me with a scholarship if needed," Sirius said. His eyes shone with determination. "I'm going to become an auror. There's nothing for it."

James grinned at his friend appreciatively.

"Well said," Remus said, smiling.

Sirius drowned the rest of his orange juice, then looked at James curiously. "What are those other four letters for?"

James looked startled. He had forgotten about those. "Oh," he said, shrugging. "Dunno."

Remus reached over and took the letters. His face turned into one of both nervousness and excitement. "Wow," he said excitedly. "These are our O.W.L. results!"

Immediately, the group sat up straight. "Excellent," James grinned. "I've waited all summer for these."

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "Me too, Prongs." They looked at each other sarcastically, and cracked up.

Peter however, had turned green again. "Uh oh," he said, looking as if he was about to cry. "I think I'm going to be sick…"

Remus shot Peter a sympathetic look. "You'll be alright, Wormtail."

"Easy for you to say," Peter mumbled. "You always get over a hundred percent on your exams."

"Stop being such a drain," Sirius said, still grinning.

"I'm sure you did fine," Remus said.

"Ready?" James said, taking the letters out of Remus's tightly clutched hands and distributing them to their owners.

The four friends nodded and began to slit the letters open. Despite his calm stature, Remus was paler than usual. Peter was even greener than he had been after the exams themselves.

"I wonder how Dumbledore knew we were here," Sirius said thoughtfully. "He couldn't have known I sneaked away from home, could he?"

"Wouldn't put it past him," James shrugged.

"Less talking, more opening," Remus said tensely, hands shaking as he pulled the letter out.

For a moment, there was silence as the four friends examined their test results.

"So, how d'you do?" James asked everyone, breaking the silence.

Only Sirius broke into a huge grin. "Not as bad as I thought."

James and Sirius switched letters. James beamed as he glanced down at Sirius's paper. It was the exact same thing as his, except, of course, for his name:

Astronomy O

Care of Magical Creatures E

Charms O

Defense Against the Dark Arts O

Herbology O

History of Magic E

Potions O

Transfiguration O

"Ah well, always knew that getting an Outstanding O.W.L. on History of Magic was impossible," Sirius said easily, leaning on the counter. "For Merlin's sakes, who bloody cares about Goblin wars?'

James grinned. "And it's not like Care of Magical Creatures is of utmost importance either," he said, shrugging carelessly. He and Sirius exchanged a high-five.

"How d'you do?" Sirius asked Remus and Peter.

The color was returning to Remus's face. He grinned happily as he handed his paper to Sirius, who in turn handed Remus James's paper. James looked over Sirius's shoulder.

"Remus, you monster," Sirius said, grinning. Remus was taking many more classes, and he managed an "Outstanding" on all but Care of Magical Creatures.

James kicked Sirius. "Wrong word choice, Padfoot," he said quietly.

Remus, however, grinned. "It's okay, James. Both you and Sirius did brilliant."

"Yup," Sirius said, grinning. "We did."

"So, Wormtail, how'd you do?" James asked, rather tentatively.

Peter was still staring at his exam paper.

Sirius reached over and plucked it out of his hands. Peter protested feebly, but Sirius ignored him. He glanced down his paper…

"It's not that bad," Sirius said, looking up. He felt that honesty was not the best policy at this point. Even he didn't have the heart to pick on poor Peter at the moment.

"Yes it is!" Peter said shrilly. He looked on the verge of tears. "I failed four classes, and I only got two 'Exceeds Expectations!'"

James snatched the paper out of Sirius's hands and examined it. "Well, er, Care of Magical Creatures… we all failed that one. Astronomy… Uranus's moons aren't that important anyway. History of Magic… stupid class, don't worry about that. You're probably better off failing it. And - Transfiguration?" James asked, frowning.

"But we tutored you for two months on that!" Sirius couldn't help blurting out. "How on earth did you fail that?"

Peter remained silent, but turned a sicklier shade of green.

It was Remus who finally took the paper out of James's hands. "You got an Exceeds Expectations in Charms, and Potions," Remus said, trying to calm Peter down. "And you passed Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Herbology.

"I'm a failure," Peter whispered dejectedly.

"No," James said firmly. "Look, it's okay, Wormtail. It's not the end of the world. We'll help you study for the N.E.W.T.'s, and you'll be set."

"It's hopeless," Peter groaned. "I might as well just quit now."

"Then you're not a Marauder," Sirius said simply. "What would be happening to our world is the Aurors just suddenly decided to stop fighting?" A hard look came once more into his eyes. "We'd all be dead. Which is why none of us are giving up either. We're helping you pass those exams, Peter, if we have to drag you half-dead into the examination room. None of us are giving up without a fight."

There was a silence. James sunk into a whirlwind of thought. If they gave up now…if they lost all hope…there'd be nothing left. Hope was what kept them going…hope for a new day, a bright day, without the shadow of Voldemort looming close at hand. Hope that there's some redemption and softness of man's heart left in the world of savages.

"Sirius is right," Remus nodded finally.

Peter looked just as green as ever, but offered a tiny grin.

* * *

"Where on earth is Tawny?" James groaned as he stepped off the train.

"Dunno," Sirius shrugged, stepping off behind his friend. "Didn't Remus say he had it?'

"I thought Peter had it," James said, confused.

"I thought it was Remus," Sirius said, looking even more confused.

"Well one of them better have it," James said, grabbing his hair in frustration.

"By the way, where is Remus?"

"Where do you think?" James said, rolling his eyes, but grinning all the same. "He's with Faye. He's been talking about her non-stop since the start of vacation. Moony can't live without her."

Sirius laughed. "He's obsessed with her." He looked around. "So where's Peter?"

"I think he's still drowning himself in misery over his exam scores," James said. "He's probably still on the train, afraid to face the school."

"Well he'd better get down here soon, because the train's going to take off with him still on it."

"Should we go and get him?"

"Maybe that's his plan," Sirius shrugged.

"Nope," James said finally. "Here he comes."

Peter, dragging his trunk behind him, walked slowly up to James and Sirius.

"You alright, Wormtail?" James asked.

"Fine," Peter mumbled.

Sirius socked Peter on the shoulder. "We have the full moon to look forward to, remember?"

"Yeah," Peter mumbled.

Remus and Faye then made their entrance into the group, hand in hand and laughing. "Hello," Faye grinned at the Marauders, waving.

They greeted her back.

"Faye had a really interesting summer," Remus grinned. "Go on, tell them about it."

Faye laughed and began talking. James, however, lost her after the first word, for a blur of red had just passed behind his back. He couldn't help turning around to look. He knew that flaming hair so well. It was the hair of a girl whose eyes were emerald green, filled with understanding and good…who stuck up for puny first years and pathetic Snivellus. It was the hair of a girl that he hated with passion… but couldn't help loving and admiring, while he _tried_ to hate her. But he swore he would get over her. He swore to himself. For that hair belonged to a girl that would never be his.

He shook his head and tried not to look at her. Instead, he tried to focus on other girls that were passing. A group of fifth years passed by him, and he offered them his most charming smile. He was satisfied to see them melt under his gaze.

"James, what did you think?" Faye said, jerking James back to reality. He turned and looked at Faye, who was beaming.

"Oh… er, brilliant," James said, trying to smile.

She seemed satisfied with his answer.

The carriages drew them up to the castle. After the customary welcome back speech from Dumbledore and the introduction of a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, the Marauders headed up to the dormitory for some sleep. Remus departed, wanting to walk Faye back to her common room. He gave them the password, Hydrangea, and walked off in the opposite direction. Sirius, James and Peter headed directly up to plop down on their familiar beds and unpack.

"Home at last," Sirius said with a wide grin. "How I've missed this place."

"Hey," James laughed. "Are you insulting my hospitality?"

"You know what I mean, Prongs," Sirius said, beginning to pull socks out of his trunk.

James smiled. "Yeah. I do."

Peter was examining an item that intrigued him that he didn't remember packing in his trunk. Sirius was flinging socks all over the place, and the dormitory that had been nearly spotless as they left for summer vacation was once again plagued with Sirius's messy habits and dirty socks.

And James wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

The morning sun peeked out from behind the lush hills of the school grounds, bathing the glorious morning in beams of golden light. The walls of the castle glowed, giving it a pure, warm feel. The sun's beams reflected upon the lake, where the water, now exposed to this golden light, turned a pale shade of green instead of the usual darkening blue. Tiny fish jumped about, and a mysterious tentacle appeared every so often. Even leaves on the old beech tree seemed to sing merrily, a golden hue.

Suddenly, a gust of wind disturbed this peace. It carried with it a powerful force. Slight clouds covered the sun's beams momentarily. The calm of the lake was rippled, and the tiny fish disappeared under the depths of the sea. The golden leaves swayed, and a couple fell into the darkening wafts of grass….

Then there was calm, and all was golden again.

The Marauders woke up groggily at the sight of the morning sun through their closed eyelids. Remus was the first one up, and he pulled himself out of bed, trying to pull the others out of bed. It was the first real day of school, and although they were always almost late, Remus wouldn't let them actually be late, especially since he was still a Prefect.

"Five…more…minutes…mummy…" James mumbled, tossing around in his bed.

Remus rolled his eyes as he got dressed.

"How're you doing?" Sirius said groggily to no one in particular, but with a slight grin on his face. "I'm Sirius, and I'm single…"

Remus stifled a snicker.

Peter simply tossed around in his bed, clutching his covers with a firmly closed hand.

Remus sighed. It was finally time to get everyone up. He took out his wand, whispered "_sonorus_", pointed his wand at his throat, and yelled, "Get up!"

Immediately, his voice boomed loudly across the dormitory, and probably into other dormitories as well, creating a throbbing ringing sensation. James and Sirius jerked themselves up in surprise. Peter literally jumped in his bed, wide eyed and with a look of fear on his face.

Remus grinned in satisfaction. He pointed his wand and his throat and whispered, "_quietus_".

"Moony," James groaned, rubbing his ears. "That was a rather crude way of getting us up."

Sirius slid his feet off of his bed and started putting on his robes. "But it was effective," he grinned, albeit groggily.

"That's what I was aiming for," Remus said, laughing. "Well? Hurry up, let's go. We have new schedules to get for our N.E.W.T. classes!"

"Only Moony can sound this excited about getting new schedules," James muttered. Sirius and Peter snickered.

Remus ignored them. "Let's go," he barked. "Up and out!"

Three grudging Marauders followed Remus out of the dormitory, out of the common room, and down to the Great Hall, where most of their house was eating breakfast.

"Food," Sirius said hungrily, grabbing a goblet of orange juice as soon as he sat down.

"I'm famished," James said, sitting down beside Sirius. He too grabbed a glass of juice.

Peter ate only half-heartedly, while Remus was trying to force Peter into eating. They were all rather worried about Peter… how many classes could he really take?

Finally, McGonagall began her descent from the staff table and made her way through to the Gryffindor table. Near the front, Lily and Marcella were soon happily walking towards their first classes. Remus knew that Lily had gotten an "Outstanding" O.W.L. on everything, and Marcella had passed well on everything. Now, Professor McGonagall was moving closer to the Marauders, and Peter turned a shade of green never seen before.

"Potter, Potter, Potter," she said as she arrived got to James. She held out papers comparing his course selections and his exam results. "Well done," she said after a short moment, giving him a rare smile. "Cleared for everything. And I won't hesitate to say again that a professional Quidditch player would be a considerable waste of your talents."

James was reluctant to leave his friends, but under a stern glance from the professor, he waved them goodbye and headed off to his first period class.

"Peter Pettigrew," Professor McGonagall said, frowning at his exam results. Peter peered anxiously at her. She finally looked down at him. "I'm sorry, Pettigrew, but you simply lack the grades to enter my N.E.W.T. Transfiguration class. I'm afraid the only classes for N.E.W.T. level you can take are Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions."

Peter hung his head as he accepted his new schedule from Professor McGonagall. He waved a small goodbye to Remus and Sirius and headed out of the Great Hall.

"So how'd you do?" James asked, jumping out from behind a wall in the hallway.

Peter at first looked startled, but then just looked depressed. "Charms, Defense, and Potions," he said gloomily. "That's it."

James smiled bracingly. "Hey, that's alright. Look, we'll keep tutoring you in those subjects, and we'll tutor you in other subjects as well. It's going to be alright, Wormtail. We'll guarantee that."

Thanks," Peter said in a small voice.

Remus and Sirius, who got their schedules cleared in a heartbeat, soon joined Peter and James outside of the Great Hall. "Breathe in the fresh air of a new term," Remus said, beaming.

"Moony's being absurd," Sirius laughed.

A bunch of sixth years had just passed them by, and McGonagall followed, glaring at the four friends. "Well? What do you think you're doing?" she said, her mouth in a thin line. "Get to class!"

Not wanting a detention on their first day back, the heeded her, and went quickly down the hall to Charms class.

* * *

"I'm ecstatic," James said, grinning.

"Because our new Defense teacher is a complete idiot?" Sirius asked, running his hand through his hair, making a couple of girls that passed by him gawk.

"That, and the fact that I don't have to deal with Quidditch tryouts this year," James grinned. "There's no spots open, I'm too lazy to go through tryouts, and I'm happy with my team."

"Ha," Remus grinned. "Anyone who wanted to make the team this year will be thoroughly ticked off at you."

"Bring them on," James said easily. "I just learned a new hex the other day, and I'm dying to try it out…"

"Try it on Snivellus," Sirius said grinning. "There he is now."

The four friends turned and saw Snape walking by them, head absorbed in a book. James was just about to get up and shoot a curse at him when he saw Professor McGonagall walking through the school grounds, reprimanding a fourth year sternly.

Sirius swore. "Oy. Bad timing."

James ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "Shame. I would have loved to start out a school year by hexing Snivelly."

"Me too, Prongs," Sirius said, feigning a look of sadness. They sniggered.

James ran his hand through his hair again. As he turned to look around for Snape, he saw a group of three girls approaching the four friends, giggling with each other and nudging each other. Sirius turned and eyed them with interest. "I think we've got company."

"Hi," one of them said, coming forward with a beaming smile. She was highly attractive, with a button nose and tan skin. Her pale blonde hair ran down to her waist. "I don't know if you remember us at all…" she flushed.

The other two girls stepped forward, and one opened her mouth. "What she's trying to say is…" she paused, and burst out giggling.

James and Sirius shot each other amused looks.

The remaining girl looked at them. "What they're trying to say is that we would like some help with our homework, and since you all are the brightest in our year, we though maybe you could help us."

Sirius stretched back his arms and beamed at the three girls. "Sure, ladies. Why don't you take a seat?"

The first two girls sat down, giggling, and the third girl sat down solemnly.

"Are you the girls that share a dorm with Lily and Marcella?" Peter asked suddenly.

"Yeah," the blonde nodded. "I'm Mary Macdonald. That's Lauren," she said, pointing at the other giggling girl, "and that's Rachael," she finished, gesturing toward the solemn girl.

"Pleased to meet you," Sirius grinned charmingly. Janie and Lauren let out high-pitched giggles.

"Uh, I really should be going now," Remus said, standing up and brushing off his robes. "You guys can handle it."

"Remus," James started.

"It's okay," he interrupted. "I want to go see how Faye is doing anyway." He smiled. "Girls, you picked the right guys to ask." With that, he slung his backpack over his shoulder and headed toward the castle.

"I really should be going now too," Peter said awkwardly.

"No, stay," Mary giggled. Peter blushed and stopped trying to stand up.

It was a very uncomfortable period of time. Both Mary and Lauren seemed to have immense crushes on both James and Sirius. But James couldn't help looking at Rachael. She wasn't trying to be stupid. Rachael was solemn, yes, but she had an innate intelligence that sort of exuded off her when she talked or even smiled a little bit. James didn't know why, but he was infatuated with her at that moment.

"Hey, did you hear?" Lauren suddenly giggled, flipping back her short, dirty blonde hair. "There's a Hogsmeade weekend coming up."

"Really?" Sirius asked, interested. "Wow. Well then, I guess I'm looking for a date."

Mary and Lauren immediately giggled, making it painfully obvious that they wished to be the one that Sirius asked out. James had a grasping feeling in his stomach that he wanted to ask Rachael to Hogsmeade… but that was insane! He had only met her for about thirty minutes.

While Mary and Lauren were giggling, James smiled at Rachael. Reluctantly, she smiled back. "Want to take a walk with me?" James asked her quietly. She looked confused, but then nodded okay.

James and Rachael left the group and started toward the castle. "So," he said. She looked at him expectantly.

"So," she replied, a hint of a smile playing at her lips.

"I'm James Potter."

"I know," she said, not impatiently. "Rachael Lorman."

"Hello, Rachael Lorman."

"Hello, James Potter."

They looked at each other for a moment. Rachael blushed lightly, and looked away.

"So…" James started. "It's funny. All these years, you were in my classes…"

"And you never knew my last name," she said. She let out a tiny laugh. "I wouldn't have expected you to."

James looked rather taken aback. "Why?"

"Because you're popular, you're handsome, you're smart," she said simply and quite honestly. "You and your friend, Sirius, you both are."

James was once again startled by her straightforwardness. "Erm," he said awkwardly.

"You're welcome," Rachael smiled.

James smiled back. "So… you and your friends."

"They're stupid sometimes," she said simply. "They'll make a huge fool out of themselves in front of guys, and they've had a crush on you and Sirius forever."

James was intrigued by her directness and her solemn personality. "So how about you?" he asked. "Are you like them?"

She shrugged. "Sometimes I am. But maybe it's just part of being a girl."

"Maybe," James repeated.

They looked at each other again. James saw in her solemn eyes an intelligent type of beauty. Her bright blonde hair blew swiftly in the wind, and James was more intrigued by her by the moment.

"Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me?" he asked her suddenly.

She looked at him intently, as if trying to figure out if this was some sort of a joke. Suddenly, she let out a bright smile that lit her face up. "Sure," she said happily.

"Well, er, that's settled then," James said, somewhat awkwardly.

She nodded, still smiling.

They walked around for a bit more, and were talking when James realized that he needed to get back to Sirius and them. He turned and tried to see if they were still at the old tree talking to Janie and Lauren.

"Need to go?" she asked knowingly.

James shot her a shifty grin. "Yeah."

"It's okay," she nodded. "So we're all set then?"

"Yeah," James said again. "All set."

"Good," she said. "I'll see you in class, or see you then."

"Yeah."

She waved him goodbye. James waved back and headed toward the tree, where Sirius was probably still sitting. He and Peter were still there, but the two girls had left. "Oy, Prongs, where were you?" Sirius bellowed as James got close.

James grinned. "I was asking Rachael to Hogsmeade."

"How ironic," Sirius grinned. "Me and Peter just asked Mary and Lauren out."

"Who's going with who?" James asked, looking back and forth between Sirius and Peter.

"I'm going with Lauren," Peter said, somewhat giddily.

"Nice one, Wormtail," James said, laughing. "Finally getting to notice the female gender, eh?"

Wormtail flushed in both embarrassment and exhilaration.

"It's funny," Sirius said, stretching his arms out in a yawn. "All these years, and I've never even really…"

"Known Mary, Lauren and Rachael," James nodded. "I know. It's odd."

"Maybe you were just focusing on Evans too much," Sirius said, grinning.

James chose to ignore this. "You know, Rachael's a very interesting person."

"How so?" Peter asked.

"She's very quiet… but there's this odd intelligence that kind of explodes off her," James shrugged.

"Yeah, and plus, all three of them are hot," Sirius said easily. "You can't ignore that."

James broke into a wide grin, and so did Peter. "That definitely doesn't hurt," Peter said mischievously.

"Wormtail, you beast," Sirius said jokingly.

James laughed. In the back of his head, however, he couldn't shake away the image of flaming red tempered by a piercing green, a sparkling emerald, and deep fathoms of jade that wouldn't fade away, no matter how hard he tried to shake them off.

* * *

"Mary, Lauren and Rachael are going to Hogsmeade with James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew?" Lily whispered in disbelief.

"That's completely unexpected," Marcella agreed, nodding.

"Just telling you what they're up to," Remus whispered, holding up his hands.

The three friends were in the library doing homework for Transfiguration class, and they somehow reached the topic of next Hogsmeade weekend.

"Absolutely no way!" Lily whispered, slamming her fist onto the table as lightly as possible. "They'll completely toy with their feelings! Sirius and James don't want real relationships!"

Remus smiled grimly. If only Lily knew just how much of a real relationship James wanted with her.

"And they completely don't match!" Lily whispered indignantly. "Rachael is way too smart for James. Janie and Lauren are just too – too – infuriatingly giggly! There's absolutely no way that these couples will last. James and Rachael? They're polar opposites!"

"You never know," Remus said in defense of James. "They could possibly be heading for something real…"

"Never," Lily said, a bit of anger creeping into her voice. "James Potter doesn't care about relationships… he wants a snogging buddy."

"Lily, I think you're mixing Sirius with James," Remus said, smiling slightly.

"They're both like that, then," Lily ranted scathingly.

"Well..." Remus said hesitantly. Part of him truly wanted to defend his friends, but part of him knew that Lily had truth to her words. "Well, maybe not..."

"How can you say that?" Lily said indignatnly. "He - he - "

"Uh, guys," Marcella interrupted nervously. "Don't look now, but…"

"OUT!"

Lily ad Remus jumped in shock. Madam Pince was standing over them, nostrils flared in fury. "OUT!" she repeated angrily. "Don't come back until you learn to BE QUIET!"

With a flick of her wand, the books on the desk started whacking Lily, Remus and Marcella upside the head, and they had no choice but to run outside and to duck for cover.

"Bloody hell," Lily muttered after the books flew calmly inside the library and they were outside, brushing themselves off. "That woman needs anger management."

Remus and Marcella laughed appreciatively.

Remus looked down at his watch, and started. "I really should be going now," he said quickly. "I promised I'd help Peter with his homework."

"You're a good friend, Remus," Lily smiled.

"Thanks," Remus said, grinning. He waved goodbye to Lily and Marcella, then headed up to stairs back to the Gryffindor common room.

Marcella grinned at Lily. "Faye's lucky."

Lily laughed. "Agreed."

They headed toward the grounds, Lily still deep in thought about James and Rachael. They were complete opposites… but did opposites attract?

As if she could read Lily's mind, Marcella suddenly said, "So what d'you think of James and Rachael?"

"Opposites," Lily shrugged, a little pessimistic. "They won't last."

"From the ranting in the library, I'd say you knew exactly what James would need in a lasting relationship," Marcella grinned mischievously.

Lily turned a bright red. "Marci, are you suggesting that I'm actually jealous?" she asked indignantly.

Marcella met her glare with a challenge in her eyes. "I don't know. Are you?"

_Am I_? Lily asked herself. She shook her head suddenly. "That's crazy," she said out loud. "I would never, ever be jealous of someone that's going out with James Potter. Ever," she finished with conviction. "I hate him, his arrogance, his cockiness," she added.

"Okay," Marcella shrugged. "But he's different than what you see him for, Lils. Trust me on this one."

Lily's anger was scolded into silence as she and Marcella walked outside into the glorious sunshine, with nothing to think about except James Potter, James Potter, and James Potter.


	42. Rise and Fall

A/N: Please, please don't kill me! School is killing me, and I swear I've been writing! But I promise you, the next chapter is going to be a really good one, and up a lot faster.

As for this chapter, I like it a lot, probably one of my favorites so far. It's not particularly long, but it's another full moon account, and I do hope you all enjoy it.

I have a slight favor to ask all of my readers. If any of the scenes get too mushy or cheesy, please, please tell me! I know I hate reading super gushy scenes myself, and really, if my story gets like that, I don't think I'm going to be too happy with myself. So faithful readers, please feel free to comment!

And, of course, tons and tons of personal thank-yous! Thanks to 3-Legged Dog, windstar, redcrushedvelvet, miwako, elise bentwin, crewger, smileformin, Phanthom, Illirium, and bored. You guys make my day, make my story, and wow, just thanks so much for your dedication and support!

* * *

_October, 1975_

* * *

Rise and Fall

It was a dark night. Winter was looming ahead, and the sun set earlier and earlier with each passing day. Nothing was seen in the sky except for a golden orb hidden behind fading clouds. The light from the orb would start a whole new night, fresh with adventure, excitement, and fear. As soon as the beams struck the boy, the boy would become a werewolf, and things would rapidly change. But there was another factor.

Three invisible boys squeezed under one invisibility cloak sneaked stealthily toward a tall, seemingly silent willow. They could barely fit under it anymore; they had all grown incredibly tall, much taller than the first year, where even four friends could easily slip under the cloak. At that moment, a small figure darted out from seemingly out of thin air. The figure paused a moment, looked around, and suddenly began to shrink into an incredibly small size. The night sky seemed to shake with astonishment; clouds separated slightly. A newly formed rat darted toward the willow tree, all the while glancing nervously up at the fading clouds.

The tree began to groan, shaking its leaves and slamming its branches, trying to swat the oncoming rat out of the way, but to no avail. The agile rodent sped through the lashing branches, taking a few turns here and there. It finally reached the center of the tree, put a rat-paw on what looked like a knot, and the Whomping Willow froze. The leaves bristled in the harsh wind, and all was silent.

Quickly, two other figures appeared out of thin air, gave a thumbs up to the rat that had transformed back into a human, and stepped over the branches of the willow to reach a hole in which they could enter a secret passageway under the tree. The third figure was folding up a cloak and stuffing it in the pocket of his robes. The three figures let themselves into the hole, and sped through the tunnel-passage as quickly as possible.

"We're later than usual," the first figure said. "I hope Moony won't be too mad."

"Don't worry about it, Wormtail," a second figure said, letting out a bark-like laugh. "As long as he isn't already transformed, we'll be fine."

The third figure ran a hand through his hair as he ran. "Still, we'd better hurry. The moon's definitely coming. Madam Pomfrey and McGonagall walk too slow."

The second figure guffawed at this.

They made it to the entrance leading to a small shack after a couple of minutes of running. A fourth figure was anxiously waiting for them.

"Finally," he said as he saw the other three arrive. His face filled with relief. "Prongs, where were you?"

"Sorry Moony," the third figure said. "Pomfrey and McGonagall walk slower than a slug."

Moony managed a grin. "Well, you'd better hurry up and get ready for transformation. I feel the moon coming." He backed away quickly, and five seconds later, moonlight filled the room. Beams hit Moony, and he started to go rigid.

The other three knew this telltale sign. The first figure transformed back into a rat. The second figure transformed into a shaggy black dog, large in size, almost lost in the darkness. The third turned into a large stag, antlers bowing. They stood tensely, waiting, watching their friend yelp and howl while his bones bent, while his form looked tortured…

The fourth figure had fully transformed into a werewolf, and let out a bone-chilling howl. As if startled, it saw the stag – and leapt for an attack. The stag was expecting his. He had become skilled at heading off the werewolf with his sturdy antlers. The scratching, biting and tackling went on for a while as the wolf leapt at the stag over and over again. The werewolf full-on attacked the stag, but the stag was careful not to hurt the werewolf, usually just butting the wolf out of the way with antlers. Inside the mind of the werewolf, Remus Lupin was not fighting the stag, but rather fighting the werewolf for control of mind.

The stag was tired. It had hurt a leg on one of the werewolf's bites. Quickly, without forethought or hesitation, the black dog jumped into the fray, heading the werewolf off, leading the werewolf away from the injured stag. Now, the dog and the werewolf began to fight. Inside the wolf, Lupin was starting to gain control over the wolf. He tried to regain everything, and bits of memory came back to him. He had to fight. He wasn't letting the wolf take over.

The dog growled as the wolf moved closer. Beside him, the stag was resting, saving up his strength for another attack. It usually took a couple of rounds of battle before Remus could truly remember himself and regain control of the battle. He knew that if he could remember the dog, rat and stag as Sirius, Peter and James, he would gain control once more.

Fatigued after another five minutes of battle, the dog began to retreat. This time, rested, the stag jumped in. After a couple of minutes of battle, however, the wolf began to hesitate in his attacks altogether. He sat, as if surprised, calmly down on the ground.

The stag, the dog and the rat grinned toothily at each other. Remus Lupin was back. This time, it only took them an hour to subdue him. Usually it took much longer.

They had a plan worked out for this night. Since Prongs and Padfoot were able to keep Moony in line, they decided to amp up their adventuring time. After all, the full moon only happened once a month. They might as well enjoy the time that they had in the shack. For the first time, the four animals decided to venture outside of the shack.

Dumbledore had put a full spell on the house, they knew that; but they also knew one weak spot, a window near the back of the house that somehow lacked capacity for holding up such a powerful spell. The four animals had discovered this one time when Padfoot playfully tapped Wormtail into that same window by the rat's tail, and instead of connecting with the glass, Wormtail fell straight through to the other side. It was then that they knew all the possibilities that would open up to them. The other option, of course, was to go strategically through the tunnel, but they didn't want to end up on the Hogwarts grounds. After all, James's first priority was to keep other people safe.

Carefully, they approached the window and leapt outside it. Unfortunately, it wasn't a huge window, and if they didn't dive straight through without touching the wall, they would be launched back as if burned. Wormtail had no problem, obviously, though he did have to stand upon Prongs' antlers, and though Prongs could barely fit, his Quidditch abilities and his agile form enabled him to dive through without much problem. Moony was careful, and he too could dive through after a couple of tries. Padfoot, however, was a real problem. He lacked the careful meticulous measuring steps of Remus, the tiny size of Wormtail, and the precision and accuracy of Prongs. Time and time again he tried to leap through the window. Time and time again he was thrown back.

Sirius Black was not a patient person, and it was safe to assume that his Animagus form wouldn't be either. With a resounding growl, he raced, full speed at the window. His paw touched, and it threw him backwards. The force was so great that he slammed against the wall.

Wormtail squeaked and dived back in through the window via a branch on a nearby tree, but Padfoot growled and flung him outside with his paw. Shaking his head, he ran once more at the window, and was once again thrown back.

_What is wrong with me?_ Sirius screamed inside his head. Now thoroughly impatient, he pawed the ground again, getting ready for another attempt. Moony, thinking, suddenly picked up Wormtail by his tail and dangled him right in front of the window in the center. Wormtail squeaked in protest, but Moony glared at him to shut up. Prongs stood by, watching interestedly.

Padfoot pawed his foot again, this time solely concentrating on the flailing Wormtail… with a giant huff, he ran straight toward the window and sailed through. Grinning, he turned and looked at his fellow Marauders. They grinned back, and Moony put a squealing Wormtail down.

How fresh the night air felt! Moony hadn't felt this free, this alive… perhaps in ages. The atmosphere was cool and brisk. Though the moon shined brightly in the air, Moony willed himself not to look at it, fearing it would bring back the beast. The four animals bounded along the road and headed toward Hogsmeade village.

Moony laughed as only a werewolf could laugh as he bounded onto the village grounds. Padfoot and Prongs shot mildly worried looks at each other, each afraid that Moony would simply lose all concentration and let the beast back in. But they tried to wash those thoughts away as they bounded down the Hogsmeade road.

The cobbled stone pathway was cold and damp from the misty air. Inside the village all was quiet, all was peaceful. The four animals seemed to be the only creatures that moved.

They pranced around, looking at the village through a whole new perspective. They had only been here once in the nighttime, and it was the night Remus discovered the Shrieking Shack to be his place of transformation. But now, as animals, the street seemed oddly narrow. No lights were turned on in the windows above the shops. They could just make out the sign of the Three Broomsticks up ahead. Prongs pointed his antler excitedly at this, and Moony, feeling happier than ever before, started to playfully wrestle with Padfoot as Wormtail and Prongs watched with apprehension.

In the middle of the cobbled streets, Prongs and Moony began to tackle each other, though just playfully. Sirius was happy to help entertain his friend. After half an hour, however, Padfoot felt exhausted, and couldn't go on. He tried to back away and let Prongs take over, but to no avail. Moony just kept on lunging at a tired Padfoot, unwilling to stop. Padfoot whimpered and backed away, signaling Moony to stop inside his head. Moony didn't. He felt a surge of power at this new sense of the brisk night air, and on a whim, he threw his head up to the sky. The moon glared right into his eyes.

Suddenly, Remus lost control. He felt himself slip back farther and farther… _No!_ He screamed inside his head. _I'm in control! I'm… _But he wasn't anymore. Caught up in the freedom of the moment, Remus had let his guard down. The wolf, seizing this chance, jumped to the front, and now, there was no more play in the wrestling. Moony snarled menacingly and lunged full-force at Padfoot. Surprised, Padfoot was knocked off of his feet. He dragged himself back up as Prongs advanced in panic, trying to separate Moony from Padfoot. The wolf jumped right past Prongs and tackled Padfoot yet again. The force was tremendous. A weak, limp Padfoot flew through the air and slammed against the walls of the Three Broomsticks. He landed on the cobbled stones, unconscious.

A light over the shop suddenly turned on. "Who's out there?" the four animals heard the voice of a groggy Madam Rosmerta call.

Wormtail began to run around in circles, squeaking. Padfoot was lying unconscious against the wall, trickles of blood running down his dark fur. Moony's head had snapped at the voice. He could smell flesh. He could smell vulnerable human flesh, blood… All parts of Remus were now gone, and the struggling sixth year was clouded and conquered once more by the wolf…

Moony raised his head to let out a loud howl, but Prongs had tackled him with his antlers before he could do so. Frantically, Prongs signaled Wormtail to try to revive the unconscious Padfoot. He and Moony now stood, face to face. Moony's eyes shone with a savage glare, and Prongs knew at once that those were not the eyes of Remus. The wolf bared its yellow teeth and grinned maliciously. Then it lunged.

Prongs tried to head off the attack with his antlers, but it wouldn't work. He settled for tackling Moony right back. A frantic Wormtail was trying to revive a lifeless Padfoot, and above all the confusion, Madam Rosmerta was now coming to look out the window for the source of all the commotion.

Prongs saw that he didn't have a choice. He staggered and started to back away, away from the village and toward the Shack, hoping that he could draw Moony away from Rosmerta, Padfoot and Wormtail. It started working. Moony lunged at Prongs again, but Prongs simply backed away as swiftly as possible. Slowly, bit by bit, Prongs drew Moony and himself away from the village and back toward the shack. His energy was waning considerably now, but he wouldn't give up. He had to get Moony away from the others, and fast.

Back outside of the Three Broomsticks, Peter was frantically trying to reawaken Padfoot, scared that he could be dead. Padfoot stirred a bit, but then soon fell back into a stone-like stature. Wormtail was helpless, and didn't know what he could possibly do.

Madam Rosmerta arrived right then in her nightgown, holding a lamp. Terrified, Wormtail dove into the nearest hole to hide. Her slippers pittered and pattered on the cobbled path.

"Oh you poor dear!" Wormtail heard her say as she bent over the unconscious Padfoot. "Were you attacked?" Her voice shook. "But by who?"

There was dead silence except for a small yelp in the distance.

She jumped. "Maybe it was the violent spirits," she whispered, more to herself. She stood up again, and picked up her lamp. "I'll go and get my wand. Maybe I can fix you up a bit, you poor dear," she said, as if the unconscious dog could hear her. "I'll be right back, you poor thing." She scuttled back into the shop.

Panicking, Wormtail submerged from his hiding place. He had to get Sirius out of here before Rosmerta came back and took him in for the night. He looked around, but there was nothing that could help him. There was only one option.

Hoping wholeheartedly that Moony was far away by this point, Peter transformed back into a human. With a huge heave of effort, he managed to hoist Padfoot up. It wasn't easy. The black dog was hefty in size. After a few staggers and near-falls, Peter managed to get them safely behind a wall.

At that moment, Madam Rosmerta came back down with her lamp in her right hand and her wand in the left. "Where is he?" she said to herself, confused. "He was right here a moment ago…" She looked around again, in surprise, and stood there for a while. Peter prayed that she wouldn't turn the corner. She didn't. After another minute, she headed back inside, shaking her head and muttering about hallucinations.

Peter breathed a huge sigh of relief. He picked up Padfoot again, with great effort, and headed slowly but surely toward the shack. His feet hurt, and Padfoot was heavy… but he was a marauder. He had to keep going.

Prongs had battled Moony all the way to the inside of the shack. By now, both were exhausted. Remus was starting to battle back for control of his mind, and suddenly, he took a good look at Prongs and stopped fighting. Prongs fell onto the floor, so tired he could barely move a leg. Moony fell onto the floor as well. They grinned slightly at each other, and James new that Remus was back. Now thoroughly fatigued, Moony's eyes slowly closed, and he drifted off to sleep.

In reality, Prongs wanted to do the same, but he couldn't. Where were Peter and Sirius? Prongs paced around the shack nervously, and was just about to go out and look for them when he saw the small figure of Peter Pettigrew carrying the unconscious form of a large, shaggy dog up to the shack.

Prongs beamed with pride at Peter, transformed into a human again, and staggered out to take Padfoot from him. It was now easy to leap through the window. Though he had only done it a couple of times, it felt like forever. "Wormtail, you okay?" he asked hoarsely.

Peter, though worn out, nodded with a gleam of pride. James and Peter carried Sirius back into the shack together, and set him down across the room from the sleeping Moony. "Is he okay?" James whispered quietly.

"I don't know," Peter whispered back. "He was unconscious, but he's alive, I saw him stir. I had to get him out of there, James. Madam Rosmerta was coming out to investigate."

James beamed and clapped Peter on the back. "Oy, Wormtail. Good job."

Peter flushed with pleasure.

They both stayed up that night. It was the most physical activity any of the four marauders had ever had on a full-moon night, and they were all tired beyond belief. Moony was the only one that slept. James and Peter transformed back into a stag and a rat, then watched over Padfoot for the rest of the night. At dawn, Padfoot stirred, and woke up groggily.

Prongs and Wormtail beamed at him. Padfoot touched his head gingerly with a paw. It had dried blood over it. One of Padfoot's legs seemed broken from being thrown against the wall, so he just lay on the floor with the stag and rat watching over him.

The morning sun rose eventually. The three friends watched with satisfaction as Moony turned into a sleeping Remus on the floor of the shack, then turned back into their human forms.

"What happened?" Sirius said, rubbing his head as he sat up. "I don't remember anything."

"Can you stand?" James asked.

Sirius tried, but just collapsed on the floor. "I think my leg's broken," he said, breathing heavily. His face contorted in pain, but he looked determined not to let it show.

"We'll get that fixed soon," James said, concerned.

"Never mind that. What happened?" Sirius demanded.

"You were thrown against a wall and stayed unconscious, to make a long story short," James said. "Peter got you out of there, or else you would have been taken in by Madam Rosmerta."

Sirius looked surprised. "Wormtail?"

Peter offered a grin.

Sirius broke into a grin as well. "Thanks, mate."

"We'll tell you the details later," James said. "I think I hear Pomfrey."

Peter and James helped Sirius upstairs to the trunk in which the cloak was enclosed. They threw it over themselves and watched from the stairway as Madam Pomfrey levitated a sleeping Remus out the tunnel. Soon, they supported a limping Sirius, and followed them out the willow. The three friends were dirty, exhausted, and sore… but they didn't care. They had had another night of exhilaration, and they had helped out Remus. Of course, that was all that mattered.

* * *

A week later, the Marauders had gained back their strength. Remus was out of the hospital wing, Sirius had gotten his leg mended quickly by Madam Pomfrey, and all was well. Classes were also going well. Everyone, including Peter, was doing at least decent in their classes, although Peter required hours of tutoring from the other boys.

"I'm really looking forward to this Hogsmeade weekend," Sirius sighed happily at lunchtime in the Great Hall. He stuffed another omelet down his throat.

"Relaxation after that exhausting episode," James agreed.

By now, Remus had been informed of the whole night. "I still can't believe I let myself lose control like that," he said quietly.

"Moony, stop beating yourself up about that," Sirius said impatiently. "For the last time, it's not your fault. We got out of it alright, and it was a fun adventure."

Remus grinned. "Yeah, it was."

They all laughed.

"Plus, we all have dates this time," James grinned.

"Yeah, Peter," Sirius said jokingly. "It's about time."

Peter flushed.

"When were you going to meet Faye?" James asked Remus. "Maybe we can all eat lunch together."

"I don't know," Remus said hesitantly. "Faye doesn't know Mary, Lauren or Rachael."

"That's true," James said.

"But still, you should bring her along," Sirius said, taking another omelet.

"But she'll feel uncomfortable," Remus protested. "Besides, I'm not sure that even I will feel comfortable. I don't know them either."

"That's true," Peter said.

"You all go have lunch. Maybe we'll join you, maybe not," Remus said, shrugging. "We'll see."

"Alright, Moony," Sirius said grinning.

"Our little Remus is growing up," James said, pretending to sob.

"Shut it, you two," Remus said, although he was grinning.

After breakfast, the four friends headed off to meet their dates. Remus, as he did every other time, went straight to the Ravenclaw common room. James, Sirius and Peter headed back to the Gryffindor common room to meet their dates. As they arrived James saw Rachael waiting for him on a couch in the common room. He went over and sat down beside her, giving her a kiss on the cheeks. She grinned at him.

Sirius and Peter stood, waiting for Mary and Lauren to come down the steps. As they waited, Lily and Marcella came down the steps instead, laughing at something. James took his eyes away from Rachael for a moment. Lily's eyes sparkled as she walked past him, absorbed in a funny story of Marcella's. James felt the familiar lurch in his stomach, but on top of that, he was now ridden with guilt. He was supposed to be over her. He turned back, therefore, to Rachael, and pretended that nothing had happened.

Soon enough, Mary and Lauren came down the stairs, giggling wildly. Mary was wearing a tiny skirt and a tiny tank top, despite the fact that it was nearly freezing outside. Her face was caked with so much makeup that one would have a hard time believing that it actually belonged to her body. Lauren was a bit more conservative, but not by much.

"Hello, beautiful," Sirius said, giving Mary a kiss. She giggled again and flushed with pleasure.

Peter and Lauren simply smiled at each other. James and Rachael got up, and the three couples headed toward Hogsmeade village.

"Oy, Moony!" James yelled as they saw Remus ahead of them. Remus turned and waved. Faye did the same. Those two were walking with Lily and Marcella. Marcella waved as well, but Lily just kept on walking as if she had heard nothing.

James saw this, and grasped Rachael's hand. She turned to look at him, surprised but smiling her little smile. But James barely noticed.

"So, uh, where d'you want to go first?" James asked Rachael after they had entered the village.

She looked thoughtful for a moment, and wrapped her scarf tighter around her shoulders. "How about Scrivenshaft's?" she said finally. "I think I might need some new supplies anyway."

James nodded compliantly. Personally, Scrivenshaft's was not his favorite store; it reminded him of the library. He followed Rachael anyway, and waited patiently as she picked out a couple of quills and a couple bottles of ink.

"Okay, done," she said as she headed back to him with her purchases. "Where to next?"

I don't know,' James shrugged. "Do you have any specific place you want to go?"

"Not really," said Rachael.

They looked at each other for a while. "So," James finally said, breaking the silence. "D'you maybe want to go to the Three Broomsticks early? We can talk before Sirius, Mary, Peter and Lauren get there."

She nodded. "That's alright with me."

"So let's go," James said. He grabbed her hand. She smiled her little smile up at him.

Elsewhere, Sirius and Mary were sitting near the edge of the forest, eating each other's faces. At least, that what it looked like to Lily, who was passing by the couple with Marcella at that moment.  
"That's disgusting," Lily whispered, crinkling her nose in dislike.

Marcella simply laughed. "It's Sirius Black. What do you expect?"

"Point taken," Lily muttered. "I've never tried cannibalism, but it sure looks like it tastes good." She shrugged sarcastically.

Marcella stifled a giggle. She and Lily sped up and scuttled away. Sirius and Mary didn't even notice them.

Near the front of the post office, Peter and Lauren sat on a bench, trying to make conversation. It wasn't going brilliant at the moment; they had just come out of the post office after Lauren sent her father mail, and now they were sitting outside, trying to ease the tense silence that had bridged in between them.

"So," they said at the exact same time.

They both let out nervous laughs. "You go ahead," Peter said.

"Nah, go on," Lauren said, wrapping her coat tighter around her.

"Well," Peter said, starting to fidget with his hand. "Lauren, I know I wasn't your first choice for Hogsmeade…"

"What are you talking about?" Lauren asked, partly puzzled.

"What I mean is," Peter said, now beads of sweat making their way down his face. "I know you probably would have preferred it much better if, say, Sirius asked you out…"

"Peter," she said, laughing. "I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't want to come with you. I'm not that shallow, really."

Peter flushed. "Well… I don't know. It just sort of seems like we don't even know each other."

"Easy fix," she shrugged.

"I guess you're right," Peter said, smiling at her shyly. "So tell me about Lauren."

She smiled back. "Now there's the guy I came to Hogsmeade with."

Peter flushed again, this time with happiness.

A black dog passed by them at that point, running merrily away from its owner. Lauren laughed and squealed as it ran under her legs and weaved through Peter's.

"Come back here!" a lady wearing black called, chasing the dog wildly, her coat flapping in the brisk air.

Lauren and Peter looked at each other, and instantly burst out laughing.

At lunchtime, Peter, Sirius, and their dates made their way over to the Three Broomsticks. Sirius proclaimed to Mary that he was famished. Mary simply giggled. She was wearing Sirius's coat, and Sirius walked coolly into the shop, looking more macho than ever.

"Took you a while," James said cheerfully as Mary and Sirius entered. "We've been waiting. We were going to order without you. Peter's starving."

"I'm here now," Sirius grinned, sitting down. "Can we order?"

Madam Rosmerta walked over, a pen in hand. "Heard you from a mile away, boys," she said, smiling. "What'll it be, gentlemen and ladies?"

James rubbed his stomach and ordered his lunch, as did Sirius. As she took their orders, however, James noticed that Madam Rosmerta's hand shook slightly.

"Ah, a simple butterbeer for me," Peter said, smiling at Lauren.

"One butterbeer," Madam Rosmerta repeated cheerfully.

"Oh look, there's that dog again!" Lauren squealed. Outside the shop, the lady in black was still chasing the little black dog.

Madam Rosmerta turned to look, and a strange look came into her eyes. Her hands shook as she wrote down Peter's order, and without warning, the quill had fallen out of her hands and dropped on the floor.

James stooped to pick it up. He handed it back to her, a bit worried. "Is anything wrong?"

She accepted the quill, hands still shaking a bit, and let out a laugh. Her eyes looked a bit glazed. "It's nothing, really. Just another dream or illusion that I had."

Something seemed to click for Peter and James, but Sirius looked at her, intrigued. "What happened?"

She sighed inwardly. "It's not that big of a deal, really."

"Come on," Sirius wheedled.

She sighed again, resignedly. "Last weekend, I was sleeping in my bed when I heard these horrible snarling and slamming noises against the wall of the Three Broomsticks. Naturally, with all the commotion, I couldn't sleep. So I took a lantern and went outside to investigate. Mind you, I was terrified of what I might see, but at the foot of the shop I saw a large, shaggy dog that seemed to be badly hurt and mangled. It was lying unconscious, anyway."

It seemed to click for Sirius at that moment too. He, James and Peter exchanged looks.

"I decided to try and help it," Madam Rosmerta continued. "My wand was still on my table, so I went to go retrieve it. By the time I got back, however, the dog had vanished without a trace!"

"Really?" Lauren gasped, staring at her. "It was simply gone?"

"Astoundingly, yes," Madam Rosmerta nodded. "I figured the whole thing might have been an illusion anyway, and I told myself that as I was going to sleep, but I reckon it still resides in my brain."

"It was probably just an illusion," James said quickly.

"Yeah, perhaps it was just a hallucination," Sirius agreed. "By the way, did you manage to see any other animals?"

"No," Madam Rosmerta answered. "But there definitely might have been. I heard lots of growling out the window, and I'm sure it was done by more than one animal, if not even up to three."

James, Sirius and Peter exchanged nervous looks.

"But boys, you're right," she said at last. "Maybe I'm just going crazy. Is this all?"

"Huh?" Sirius asked.

"Butterbeer, Peter," Madam Rosmerta said. "Is that all?"

"Oh," Peter said. "Yeah, that's all."

"I'll be right back," she said, smiling at them. She walked off toward the kitchen.

James sighed in relief. So did Sirius and Peter. The girls didn't seem to notice; they were best friends, after all, and were chatting about a new set of robes that they had seen on display.

Soon, Madam Rosmerta came back with their orders of food. The six people ate and drank heartily.

"Ah, that was delicious," Sirius said after he had polished off his plate.

Mary giggled.

"Are you gentlemen enjoying yourselves?" Madam Rosmerta said, cleaning up their plates.

"Definitely," James nodded.

"Good," she smiled. "Come back here often now."

"We will," Sirius said, standing up with the rest of them. "Thanks, Rosmerta."

"My pleasure," she said.

The three couples headed out the door. Outside, they all headed separate ways. Peter and Lauren went to go sit by the edge of the woods. Sirius and Mary went to Madam Puddifoot's, presumably to snog. James and Rachael headed off to the edge of the forest. James took quite a couple of shortcuts, and the couple ended up behind Galdrags Wizardwear, in a deserted corner of Hogsmeade.

They sat down and leaned against a wall. Rachael's cheeks and nose were tinged pink from a mixture of the cool weather and excitement. James looked at her. Without thinking, they leaned in to kiss each other.

And when their lips met, James felt… nothing. He felt her lips against his, and he felt joy… but no spark. Nothing special. James was slightly confused – was this how kisses were supposed to work? He hadn't snogged anyone before, except maybe Lily in his dreams (not that that counted), but he wanted to feel something special, quite like what Remus says he feels every time he and Faye kiss. He wasn't complaining about kissing Rachael, but still… he was confused. Maybe this was how kisses were supposed to work. He let out a slight shrug.

As fate would have it, Lily and Marcella had gotten really lost in Hogsmeade village, and were now wandering around aimlessly, not sure where they were going.

"Where are we?" Lily moaned quietly as she kicked the ground in frustration.

Marcella shrugged, teeth chattering. The two friends kept walking onward, until they heard some slight noises beside them. Lily turned around first and saw, to her surprise, James Potter and Rachael Lorman locked in a tight embrace, snogging like crazy. Lily somehow couldn't adjust her eyes appropriately to the sight. Something about it dazed her slightly.

"Well, we know we're not totally lost," she muttered sarcastically to Marcella.

Marcella stifled a giggle. The two ran quietly past the couple. Once they were out of sight, Lily stared straight ahead with her eyes still a bit dazed.

Marcella was puzzled. Her friend had never acted quite like this before. "Lily, are you okay?" she asked concernedly.

"I'm fine," Lily said, still staring straight ahead at the path.

Marcella stared too, not sure of what Lily was looking at. She wanted to question her friend some more, but Lily's face seemed to glow with such confusion that she decided to just leave her alone.


	43. The Prank

A/N: Hi, all! I would have loved to post this chapter a couple of days ago, but we experienced a power outage, and my computer was fried. But all that aside, I do believe I got this chapter up quicker than usual.

This was my favorite chapter to write, by far. It's also the heaviest so far. I actually quite like how it turned out, but please, feel free to add constructive criticism! It's highly welcomed, as usual, and once I finish the fic (uh, still about 60 chapters to go) I will probably go back and make revisions to the chapters as I see fit.

Update: I also want to comment on the "sap" comment I said last chapter. I wasn't referring to that chapter in particular, but more as a reference to the entire fic. So, if any chapters seem too sappy, any chapter at all, please feel free to comment :)

Update 2: Some of the gramatical/spelling errors bothered me so much, I had to change them. Hope this makes for an easier read :)

I was completely overwhelmed by the support you all have given me! Thank you so much for sticking with the fanfiction! Personal thank-yous to 3-Legged Dog, Gurlz, miwako, Ilirium, windstar, Jump Highly, elise bentwin, Zazzie, Phanthom, bored, living-is-easy-with-eyes-closed, and Young Prewett! Wow! You all are truly amazing. Cheers to all!

* * *

_November, 1975_

* * *

The Prank

"I think Snivelly is following us again," James muttered.

Sure enough, the greasy-haired Snape was stealthily sneaking behind the four Marauders as they walked around the school on a Saturday morning.

"Ignore him," Remus said quietly. "Just ignore him…"

"What the bloody hell is wrong with that slimeball?" Sirius growled. "Is he that much in love with us?"

"Apparently," Remus said sarcastically.

"Why can't he leave us alone?" Peter whimpered.

"I don't know," James spat. "But I'm going to give him a piece of my mind if he doesn't shove off soon."

Remus looked as if he was going to protest, but he didn't.

"Let's turn," Peter said nervously.

They turned into a left corridor. Out of the corner of his eyes, Sirius spied Snape creeping after them.

James noticed this too. "That's it," he said angrily, his temper short. He and Sirius turned as one and tried to fire jinxes at the oncoming Snape. Snape seemed to be expecting such an attack. He jumped behind a portion of the hall wall, behind a statue, so the jinxes smashed the cement instead of him. Cursing, Sirius fired another spell. With an ugly face, Snape dodged it. He fired a spell straight at James, who was a bit distracted, and couldn't dodge it in time. With a huge force, the spell knocked James off his feet and into Sirius. They both flew up into the air and landed in a heap ten feet away, dazed.

Remus and Peter tried to aim spells at Snape, but Snape, face now glowing with exhilarated triumph, dodged the beams of light and sped down the hall with his greasy curtain of hair swinging heavily around his pale face.

Sirius and James both swore loudly. "Come back here, you coward!" James roared, getting up. But it was too late. Snape had already disappeared.

James swore again.

"You okay?" Remus asked, helping Sirius up.

"Yeah," Sirius growled.

"Snivelly's going to be sorry," James said, clenching his teeth. He was also clutching his ribs. The deserted corridor now rang with a heavy silence. He turned to Sirius. "Padfoot, how're you?"

"Fine," Sirius said shortly.

"What can we do about Snape?" Peter whimpered. "He's always after us."

"If he didn't shoot that spell at me I would have sent his greasy highness to one of Jupiter's moons," James muttered.

"We'll get him later," Remus said reassuringly. "He's not going to stop following us, you know. And he is a prefect."

"So are you, Moony," Sirius said shortly.

"Point taken," Remus shrugged.

The four stood in silence for a while, contemplating what they should do about Snape.

"Next time I see him," Sirius said wildly, breaking the silence. "I'll break his neck."

"No, Sirius," Remus said quietly. "Don't think like that."

"Why can't I?" Sirius said forcefully. "The slimy git has been following us for six bloody years!"

"Maybe there's an alternative," Remus said thoughtfully, "so he won't know where we are at all times."

"Impossible," James scoffed. "The git has eyes in the back of his putrid head."

Remus shrugged. "Just an idea."

"Whatever," Sirius muttered.

"Sirius, are you sure you're okay?" Peter asked quietly.

"I'm fine," Sirius snapped. "Look, can we get out of here?"

James nodded. "Let's go."

As they walked away from the deserted corridor, Remus glanced at Sirius. He wasn't fine, Remus could tell, because the stormy look of anger was back in his eyes.

* * *

"Moony, you ready?"

Remus glared at Sirius. "Shut up, Padfoot."

Sirius grinned cheekily back. "Is that a no?"

"Apparently," Remus said sarcastically. "Wouldn't you love to have a "furry little problem", as Prongs so eloquently puts it?"

"You know," Sirius grinned. "Rumor has it that you own a seriously misbehaved rabbit."

"I do," Remus said rolling his eyes. "Its name is Padfoot."

Sirius guffawed at this.

James laughed with them, twiddling his wand in his hand. "We still have a couple of hours," he said. "Should we… do something?"

"Are you seriously asking that question to Sirius Black?" Remus said, raising an eyebrow.

"As a matter of fact, Moony," Sirius said, clearing his throat. "I do have some business to attend to."

"What would that be?" Remus asked, amused.

"It's my night to tutor Peter," Sirius shrugged. "So, Peter, you ready to go?"

"I guess," Peter shrugged.

"Wait, what?" Remus asked, confused.

"We're going to the library," Sirius said easily.

"But tonight's full moon," Remus protested.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "How thick d'you think I am, Moony? We've been friends for six years. Look. We're going to study, then when it's time, we'll come back up, get James, and go down to the shack to accompany you."

"Alright," Remus said uncertainly. "Just make sure you're on time."

"No problem," Sirius said, grinning.

"I'll stay here," James said. "Don't worry, Remus, we've got it covered."

Remus still looked unconvinced. They'd never been in separate places when McGonagall fetched him, but he shrugged it off. "Tonight, we're not doing any Hogsmeade trips," Remus said, grinning. "The last one was too tiring."

Peter, James and Sirius laughed. "Deal."

Sirius and Peter gathered their stuff and headed down to the library five minutes later, leaving James and Remus in the common room. Once they arrived at the library, they took great pains to avoid Madam Pince, who was obsessively dusting a bookshelf, and found an empty table near the back of the library. They set down their books and set straight to work.

Sirius was learning to control his temper a lot better. He rarely yelled at Peter, unless Peter said something completely idiotic, and his patience lasted a lot longer. He had learned a muggle trick (or was it a muggle trick?) from Remus, and now he tried to count to ten before his noradrenaline hormone, the hormone of anger, took over.

However, an hour later, his patience was waning. "No, Peter, the charm does not require that one flicking motion," he said through clenched teeth. "That flick is reserved for the _wingardium leviosa_ charm. Try it again."

"No flick?" Peter asked.

"It's not a flick," Sirius confirmed. "The motion is more like a jab."

"Okay."

Peter picked up his wand and attempted the spell again, trying hard not to flick the wand. In the end, the book that they were practicing the spell on shivered a bit on the table before falling still again. Peter shot a helpless, apologetic look to Sirius.

"Better," Sirius said, forcing a smile. His patience was, by now, nearly gone. He counted to ten in his head.

Normally, Sirius would have loved to give up, but Peter had to learn the spell by tomorrow. As fed up as he was with Peter, he had an obligation to help his friend and even Sirius wouldn't abandon that obligation for his own sake.

"So…" Peter said nervously. "Should I try it again?" Peter seemed to be poised for a reprimand.

"Sure, why not," Sirius said, repressing a sigh. "Give it a shot."

As Peter lifted his wand again, a voice whispered Sirius's name. Sirius started, then reached into his pocket and quickly pulled out the two-way mirror. He saw James's nervous face peering at him.

"Prongs, is anything wrong?" Sirius asked quietly, noticing his friend's complexion.

"Get back up to the common room quickly," James said urgently. "McGonagall was caught up in something, and she came to get Remus late. I reckon they'll make it down there before Remus transforms, but as for us, it's a game of chance. Get yourself up here with Peter, and now."

"Okay," Sirius said, nodding. James' face disappeared from the mirror.

"Are we going?" Peter asked, abandoning the spell.

"Yeah," Sirius nodded. "Let's get out of here."

The two friends packed up their books and headed out of the library. Peter was discussing worriedly about the spell, but Sirius, distracted, ignored him. As they made their way up a flight of stairs, they saw a worried McGonagall and an extremely pale Remus pass them. The teacher and student didn't notice Sirius and Peter.

"Faster," Sirius said to Peter after they had passed. They picked up the pace.

A moment later, they came upon Snape, who seemed to be so caught up in sneaking behind McGonagall without being noticed that he ran headfirst into Sirius. Both boys staggered, but neither fell.

"Watch where you're going, Snivellus," Sirius spat, dusting himself off.

"Speak for yourself," Snape said with a malevolent grin on his face. "It doesn't matter anyway. I'm going to find out right now what your little friend is doing every month. If it's something illegal… oh, I'll have him kicked out of here."

Sirius's face contorted with rage. He wanted to punch Snape. He wanted…

Snape started to turn away from Peter and Sirius, toward the direction of the school grounds, but Sirius wrenched Snape's arm back.

"Get away from me," Snape snarled. He raised his wand straight at Sirius's forehead.

"You know, Snivelly," Sirius said, suddenly grinning with an oddly hollow smile. His face was inches away from Snape's. "You can follow Remus into the tunnel to where he goes every month."

Snape faltered, then eyed Sirius suspiciously. "How?"

"All you have to do is prod the knot on the trunk of the Whomping Willow near the front," Sirius said, face calm but eyes wild. "Go on."

Snape looked at Sirius suspiciously. Sirius stared right back. Then, Snape wrenched his arm from Sirius's grip, lowered his wand, and strode away down the hall, toward the entrance to the school grounds.

Sirius grinned triumphantly and continued the path up to the Common Room. Peter trotted behind him, thoroughly scared. As they made it through the portrait of the Fat Lady, Sirius let out a laugh. It wasn't merry, it wasn't even triumphant. It was the coldest laugh Peter had ever heard.

James strode up to them at this point, invisibility cloak in his arms. "What took you so long?" he asked hurriedly. "We haven't much time."

Sirius simply laughed his cold laugh.

James immediately sensed something was wrong. "Padfoot," he said in a nervous voice. "What did you do?"

Sirius laughed again.

"Sirius," James said in a low voice. "Sirius, what did you do?"

There was a moment of silence.

"He told Snape how to get past the tree and get to Moony," Peter spoke up in a voice barely above a whisper.

James's eyes widened. "He did _what_?" he asked loudly. "Peter, please tell me this is a joke."

Peter, wide-eyed, shook his head.

Sirius suddenly stopped laughing. "He deserves it, the slimeball," he said, eyes bulging manically. "Revenge, Prongs, revenge."

James, in one swift motion, dropped the invisibility cloak, swore loudly, and ran out the portrait of the Fat Lady without another word, leaving Sirius there, staring blankly with wild eyes.

James swore quite a couple of times as he ran toward the school grounds. He whipped through the castle as fast as his legs could carry him. What if it was too late… what if Snape…

He shook that quickly out of his minds. Quidditch had kept his system in healthy condition, and he sped through the castle and onto the school grounds. The brisk night air pounded heavily in his mind, and the questions of what if…

He reached the tree at last. Panting and clutching a stitch in his side, he spied a long stick close to the tree that he supposed Snape had conjured. Frantically, he prodded the knot, and as soon as the branches stopped lashing, he dived into the hole head-first, praying that Snape hadn't reached the wolf yet. He also wondered if McGonagall had gone, but that thought was pushed out by many others. He ran in complete darkness, in his frenzy disregarding the light charm. Without warning, his body connected, in the middle of the tunnel, with another; that of Severus Snape.

Snape lit his wand, and staggered.

"Sniv-Snape," James said quickly, gasping for air. James had fallen on the ground on the impact, and was now dragging himself back up. "Please, you can't be down here."

"Says you," Snape snarled, beginning to walk toward the end of the tunnel where Remus would be. "I'm going to find out right now what you and your little friends have been doing."

"Snape, it's not worth it," James gasped. "Please, turn back…"

"Shut up, Potter," Snape snapped, stopping to glare at James. "Finally calling me by my name, are you?"

James was too frantic to think up a witty reply. He started trying to drag Snape back out of the hole of the willow.

"Get off!" Snape spat, wrenching his arm away. He turned on his heels and ran in the direction of Moony. James ran after him.

"SNAPE!" James yelled. "STOP!"

But Snape had a head start. James's heart filled with dread. He had to convince Snape to turn back, he had to… The footsteps in front of James suddenly stopped. He took out his wand, whispered _lumos_, and his heart stopped.

For Moony, claws sharpened, mouth slobbering, was poised over Snape, and Snape, pale and wide-eyed, wasn't moving.

"REMUS, NO!" James yelled instinctively. The werewolf lunged. James wrenched Snape out of the way just in time.

"SEVERUS, MOVE!" James roared. "MOVE!"

Snape was paralyzed with, for the first time, fear. His pale face shook. "It's a werewolf," he whispered feebly. James now knew Snape had made the connection. But there was no time to ponder on this.

"MOVE!" James roared again, pushing Snape roughly as the werewolf poised for another attack. When Snape stood still, pale with terror, James, with the last of his remaining strength, yanked Snape by the shirt and dragged him toward the Whomping Willow and away from Remus as fast as possible. Behind them, Moony the wolf let out one bone-shattering howl.

Snape clambered out of the hole as if his life depended on it, apparently regaining the use of his legs. James was not far behind him. The Whomping Willow was beginning to thrash again, and James felt one branch knock him hard in the back. He blinked back blood. He didn't stop, even after both he and Snape were out of the reaches of the tree.

"Snape, where are you going?" James shouted into the night.

Snape whipped around, face pale. "I'm going to tell Dumbledore," he snarled, "and the whole school." He grinned madly, black eyes glittering madly. "Hogwarts needs to be rid of that monster."

Fury raged inside of James. Before he could do anything, a bright beam of light surrounded the two boys.

"Wha-" Snape said, surprised. Then his complexion went blank. "Dumbledore."

James turned and saw the silver beard of Dumbledore coming towards them, and the source of the light in his wand hand. Trotting behind him were Professor McGonagall, Sirius and Peter. Peter was looking as if he'd rather die than be out here, but Sirius's face was still one of triumph. The cold laugh had never died from his face.

"Mr. Snape, Mr. Potter, come with me," he said quietly. His eyes were cold instead of warm. His lips were almost as thin as Professor McGonagall's. James let out an involuntary shiver.

He and Snape had no choice but to obey. The group of four boys followed Dumbledore silently. Even Sirius had little to say about the affair, though he was still smiling slightly. The walk to Dumbledore's office seemed to take ages… but James was concerned about Remus. It would be the first time in nearly a year that he would go through a transformation without his friends.

They entered Dumbledore's circular office in a single-file line. James tried hard not to look at Sirius.

"Have a seat," Dumbledore said to them once they were all assembled. They obeyed.

"Professor," Snape spoke up immediately, face even paler under the light of the room. "There's a monster in this castle, and I believe it should be removed at once, for the safety of the students."

"Shut up, you slimy git," Sirius growled, turning to glare at Snape. His wand was clutched tightly in his hand.

"Mr. Black, I will not allow you use such language in front of me," Dumbledore interrupted. Sirius sank back into his seat. "And Mr. Snape, I will ask you to refrain from referring to one of our students with that word."

Snape let out a noise of disbelief. "Are you going to let that…that thing run around the school at night?" he said loudly. "It will murder the entire school!"

Sirius jumped to his feet. "YOU SHUT UP ABOUT REMUS!" he roared, eyes glaring madly. He raised his wand and lunged at Snape.

Dumbledore waved his wand, and there was instantly an invisible barrier between Sirius and Snape that Sirius could not get across. Sirius stood, chest heaving madly, wand raised, ready to kill Snape.

"I will ask you to sit down as well," Dumbledore said, quite calmly. "Now." Seeing no choice, Sirius grudgingly obeyed.

"How long have you all known?" Professor McGonagall asked, hands shaking slightly but voice quite calm. "I mean Potter, Black, and Pettigrew."

"Since our Second Year," James said monotonously.

"How did you find out?"

"Remus didn't tell us, if that's what you mean," James said, just as dully. "We figured it out by ourselves."

Dumbledore seemed to guess the rest. He nodded at James, and turned to Snape.

"Severus, I must ask you not to repeat this episode to anybody," he said quietly. "Not one word."

Snape's face contorted in rage. "WHAT?" he exploded. "That…That thing almost killed me! He should be locked up somewhere immediately, or killed, or at least expelled! Are you all blind to the fact that there's a bloody, living werewolf ready to murder us all?"

Sirius clenched his fists together, but did nothing.

"Watch your tongue!" Professor McGonagall reprimanded.

"People make mistakes, Severus," Dumbledore said calmly. "Promise me you won't repeat anything to anybody."

Sirius glared at the headmaster and didn't say a word.

"Severus," Dumbledore said.

"Fine," Snape finally spat.

"Good," Dumbledore said, nodding. "Now as to the rest of you…" he peered at Sirius, James and Peter. James got another cold shiver.

"Mr. Potter, for pure bravery, I'm awarding twenty points to Gryffindor," Dumbledore said. James felt his heart lift a bit.

"Are you insane?" Snape yelled suddenly. He pointed a finger at James. "HE TRIED TO KILL ME!" His face turned paler.

"On the contrary," Professor McGonagall said coldly. "He saved your life."

Snape sat still in his chair. He glared at James. Neither of them seemed happy about this.

"As for you, Mr. Black," Dumbledore said, turning to Sirius, who was purposely avoiding his eyes. "You've lost one hundred points for Gryffindor, and since detention does you no good, you're on probation. One more step out of line and you'll be expelled. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," Sirius said dully.

"Good," Dumbledore said. "Now, I want you all to go up to your dormitories to go to sleep."

They all nodded. Dumbledore shooed them out of his office and into the halls, and McGonagall departed as well, presumably to go back to sleep.

Four boys stood outside the office awkwardly. Snape gave them all a last sneer, whipped around, and strutted off to his Common Room.

Sirius, eyes full of fury, ran directly at Snape.

"Padfoot, no!" James grunted, pulling his friend back by his shirt.

"Get – off – me," Sirius yelled. "Let me at him!"

Snape turned around and stopped, a look of amusement filling his eyes.

"No!" James said, trying with all his might to keep Sirius back. "You're on probation, can't you see you'll be expelled? Peter, help me!"

Peter hesitated before coming to hold back Sirius.

"I don't care!" Sirius exploded in fury. "I don't bloody care!" He wrenched himself from James and Peter's grip and lunged straight at Snape. Snape, surprised, nevertheless had time to whip out his wand and shoot a spell at Sirius. Sirius dodged it. In contrast with Snape, he had forgotten all about his wand. He drew back his fist and punched Snape as hard as he could in the face.

Snape staggered and fell. His lip was immediately bleeding. He scuttled away from Sirius on all fours, looking, for the first time, terrified.

"You stay away from me," Snape spat. "You stay away - you crazy- I'll report you to Dumbledore. I'll tell about Lupin…"

Sirius's eyes flamed. He drew out his wand. "If you do that," he said in a voice barely above a whisper. "You'll die."

"Sirius," James said, trying to wrench his friend back. "Stop it."

Sirius whipped around to face James. His eyes were unreadable.

In this one moment of distraction, Snape had seized his chance. He got up, turned and started running as fast as possible in the other direction, blood from his lip splattering on the floor as he went. Soon, he was out of sight.

Sirius let out a roar of rage.

"Let's get out of here," James said, half-pleading. He just wanted to go to sleep. He just wanted to forget this even happened. Sirius grudgingly obeyed.

Three Gryffindor boys silently trudged up to the common room, each with a different thought in their mind. They all climbed through the portrait of the Fat Lady. Nobody was in the common room, but of course, that was expected. It was extremely late in the night.

"Tough night," Peter sighed, plopping on a couch by the fireplace.

"What are you going on about," Sirius snapped. "You're the one who went and went squealing to Dumbledore."

Peter immediately turned red.

"Sirius," James said warningly. "You're not being fair."

Sirius turned to face James, eyes more hollow than ever. James felt like he was looking into a never-ending pit. "You shut up, Potter," Sirius muttered.

"Peter," James said, turning to his friend, a hard look on his face. "Can you go up to the dorm? I want a word with Sirius."

Peter nodded and scuttled up the stairs, looking more than elated to escape the scene.

"What the hell were you thinking?" James asked Sirius quietly once Peter was gone.

Sirius laughed his hollow laugh. "It's all my fault, isn't it." He wouldn't look at James.

"Yeah, it is," James retorted. "What the bloody hell were you thinking?"

"Maybe I wasn't thinking, alright?" Sirius said, voice rising. "He deserved it, the slimy git…"

"You used Remus," James said quietly. "As a way to get back at Snape."

"You know what?" Sirius said heatedly. "Everything's always my fault. Everything. Don't even talk to me, Potter." He tightened his right hand grip on his wand.

"What are you going on about?" James said loudly.

"I'm always the one that hurts everybody," Sirius snapped even more loudly. "Whenever something comes up, it's always my curiosity, and it's always my problem, isn't it. I try to protect Remus, stick up for my friends." He let out a hollow laugh. "While you stand on the side, looking like a little peacemaker."

"What?" James said, confused.

"You remember that time we went into the tunnel. You remember that time we went to the shrieking shack. You remember us finding out about Remus's secret." Sirius's voice rose as he spoke. "It's always my curiosity, my problem, my fault, my mistakes. Well, I've bloody paid for them." Sirius's voice was now up to a yell. "I'm on probation, Potter, what d'you have to say about that?"

"You bloody deserved it!" James shouted. "You're selfish! Don't even tell me that you did that for Remus!"

"SHUT UP!" Sirius roared. His eyes were wild in frenzy, cold and empty. "Go be a little hero somewhere else."

James's eyes flamed. "This is not about us, this is about Remus," he yelled. "Are you that thick?"

Sirius lost control of his anger. He forgot about his wand for the second time that night. And for the second time, in one swift motion, he reached back his arm, and the next, his left fist had connected with James's jaw with a sickening crunch.

James staggered, but didn't fall. Ten emotions flashed across his face at the same time, but it was mostly disbelief. Sirius had hit him. For all the years they had been friends, Sirius had never hit him. Maybe punched playfully, but he had never…

The pain in his jaw couldn't nearly reflect the pain in his heart.

Sirius seemed to come out of a trance. A look of disbelief came across his face too. "Prongs…" He lost his words.

James shook his head, a hard look back in his face. "Don't," he said, shaking his head. He turned on his heel and walked out of the common room and up the stairs to the dorm without another word, leaving Sirius in the common room, fist smarting, wand hanging limply by his side.

* * *

Sirius and James didn't speak to each other for the next couple of days. The friendship seemed like it was over, and the duo seemed split forever. Peter usually tagged along with James as opposed to the progressively moody Sirius. All the students and the teachers were surprised; James and Sirius had gone a whole two days without getting detention.

On the third day, James was starting to worry about Remus. He was never in the hospital wing for this long. The longest Remus had ever been in there was when the Marauders weren't Animagi, and that was only two days maximum. After Transfiguration class one day, he approached Professor McGonagall. Sirius had already left, and Peter was beside James, having found James after his previous class.

"Professor," James said cautiously to her once the class was empty. "D-D'you think I would be able to visit Remus?"

She looked up at him from her desk. For the first time, her eyes were watery. She didn't give James a vocal answer, but she nodded, and James saw the emotion packed was much more than words could express.

James and Peter went straight from Transfiguration class to the hospital wing, disregarding Charms class altogether.

Madam Pomfrey bustled up to them from their office as they entered the hospital wing. "What are you two doing here?" she asked, shaking a finger in their faces. "You should be in class!"

"We came to see Remus," James said quietly.

"Absolutely not," she said sternly. "He's not allowed to have any visitors."

"But -" Peter started.

"I'm afraid the answer is no," Madam Pomfrey said clearly.

"Professor McGonagall gave us permission to come see him," James said pleadingly. "Please, it'll only be for a couple of minutes."

"I cannot allow you," Madam Pomfrey said, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, boys, but it would be against my better judgment."

James closed his eyes and opened them again. "Please," he said quietly. "We need to see him, and he needs to see us. Please."

Madam Pomfrey looked at James and studied him for a moment. She sighed, giving in. "Alright, you may see him," she said finally. "But only for ten minutes."

James and Peter rushed into the hospital wing. "Be careful," Madam Pomfrey called out. "He's been saying odd things lately, the poor dear…"

James ignored her. He and Peter walked quickly to Remus's bed.

Remus seemed to awaken instantly as they arrived as if he had been expecting them. "James? Peter? Is that you?" he asked groggily.

"Yeah, it's us," James said.

Remus tried to sit up, but let out a groan of pain.

"Stay lying down," James said. Remus relaxed on the bed.

It was the first time James had seen his friend in this condition. There were scars all across his face and arms, many of which were still open, as the blood seemed to be seeping through the bandages. James could tell that Madam Pomfrey had done her best to clean it up, and he could also tell that Remus was in no position to leave the hospital this soon.

"You never came," Remus said hoarsely. He turned away from his two friends, facing the window, visage troubled and confused.

"There's a good explanation for that," James said quietly. He and Peter looked at each other.

Remus sensed something was wrong by the tone of their voice. "What happened?" he asked, eyes wide. He turned and looked around at the two of them. "Where's Sirius?"

"Remus," Peter said carefully. "You have to promise you won't fly off the handle."

"Tell me what happened," Remus snapped impatiently.

"Sirius – Sirius told Snape how to get past the tree and reach you," James said in one breath.

For a moment there was silence as Remus stared disbelievingly at James. His pale face paled as white as it would go.

"He told…"

"Yeah," James said quietly. "Yeah. He did."

"James," Remus whispered. "Peter. Did I…"

Peter shook his head. "No, James pulled Snape back in time."

"But now he knows," Remus said, visibly shaking. "He'll tell the whole school."

"No he won't," James said. "Dumbledore made him swear not to tell."

Remus turned away from the two again. "I almost killed Snape," he said, more to himself than his two friends.

"It wasn't your fault," Peter offered lamely.

"I almost killed Snape," Remus said again. James could see Remus was about to cry, but that he held it in. He didn't want it to show.

"Don't think like that," James said quietly.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Peter said.

There was a brief silence. The wind outside blew, detaching the last of the brittle leaves from the trees onto the grounds.

"Just go, leave me alone," Remus ordered harshly. He faced the window once more, faced away from his friends.

"Remus," James started.

"No, please, go," Remus said. His voice broke. "Please. I want to be alone."

James and Peter heeded him, and walked out of the hospital wing, leaving Remus to contemplate and stare out the window.

* * *

The Marauders were as splintered as they could possibly be. Remus was allowed out of the hospital wing two days after James and Peters' visit. He wouldn't talk to anyone, not even Lily or Faye. He ate lunch alone, went to classes alone, and ignored everything that Sirius, James and Peter had to say.

"What's wrong with those four?" Lily asked Marcella confusedly after seeing the Marauders ignore each other for another week. The whole school was confused. The four had seemed unbreakable.

"I have no clue," Marcella said, shaking her head. "James won't talk to anyone."

Lily felt a pang in her throat. "I do hope they settle whatever it is," she said at last.

Marcella nodded. "Me too."

Days later, James still refused to speak to Sirius. Peter tried to make peace, receiving ignorance from both sides of the spectrum until he gave up altogether. Remus's moodiness made James very worried; though Remus was generally a calm person, if he got angry, he would explode.

This silence and tenseness went on for another couple of days. The dorm was usually subdued and quiet all the time when the Marauders went up to sleep, so it was a big surprise when James and Peter opened the dorm door to see Remus noisily packing everything together into a suitcase, and Sirius trying to ignore the actions by avoiding Remus's gaze.

"Remus, what're you doing?" James asked, confused.

"I'm moving out," Remus said shortly.

"What?" Peter exclaimed.

"I'm moving out," Remus repeated. "I'm not sleeping in the same room as a murderer."

Sirius narrowed his eyes at this.

"Remus," James started.

"Don't, James," Remus said flatly. "I've had enough."

James tensed instinctively. Sirius's short temper would soon kick in…

"Why bother?" Remus said, letting out a scathing laugh. "It's no use being in the presence of someone with no brain at all. Who knows? He could plan to kill all of you one day. God knows what he's done to me."

"Shut up, Lupin," Sirius growled from his corner of the room.

"You don't scare me anymore, Black," Remus said, packing more of his possessions into his suitcase. "You used to. But I'm not scared of what you could do to me. I'm scared of what you've done."

"All I've done was to try to protect my friends," Sirius snapped.

"Oho," Remus said, letting out a sarcastic laugh. "And I suppose using me to kill someone would give me a protective shield. Is that it?"

Sirius's anger mounted. "I wanted to get rid of Snape, bloody hell! Doesn't anyone comprehend that?"

"And make two people murderers," Remus snapped.

Sirius glared at him, but remained silent.

"You don't bloody think, Sirius," Remus said, shaking his head.

"I never think," Sirius said, laughing coldly. "Tell me something new, Remus, I've heard it all before."

"I take that back," Remus said, an icy glare forming over his eyes, masking the hurt and unrest that lay beneath. "You think about yourself."

Sirius instinctively winced.

"You know," Remus said, looking up from packing but at nothing in particular. "I trusted you with my secret, my life." His hands shook. "Six years of friendship means nothing to you, Sirius. Six years. I'm wasting my time here." He reached down and slammed his suitcase shut.

Sirius didn't respond.

"You almost killed two people that night," Remus continued, still not looking at Sirius. "Snape would have died… and I would have died with him."

There was still no response from Sirius.

Remus bit his lip. "If you think I would have wanted a - a murder on my conscience, you're bloody wrong, Sirius Black. You're bloody wrong. If you're going to use me to kill an enemy, go right ahead. It's not like werewolves have feelings, right? It's not like we're human. No. We're experimental playthings to control." He paused. "You forget, Sirius, that you once thought of me as a friend. As human." His voice broke. "Years ago." Remus closed his eyes. He wouldn't cry. "But maybe that was too far back for you to remember. Maybe all this time I was believing a lie."

Remus stared ahead at nothing and blinked back tears. He would not allow himself to cry. With a final determined resolution, he picked up his suitcase and headed toward the door, ready to leave the past six years behind.

"Remus, wait," a voice called from behind him.

Remus faltered for a second, but kept on going.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said quietly.

Remus really stopped this time. He turned around.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said again.

And Remus thought he just might believe him.

Because for the first time since any of them could remember, Sirius Black was crying.


	44. Enough

A/N: This chapter took so long to write, and I have no idea why. I apologize! The editing done by me (as I don't have a beta) was really, really bad, and I didn't get to add stuff I would have liked, but I still hope you all enjoy! The drama level is quite a bit down from the last chapter, but it really still isn't a happy-go-lucky chapter. I actually think this chapter to be quite important to the overall story, but that may be just me :)

The response to the last chapter was so amazing! I have a personal thank-you to give to RitaSkeeterGossip, who has read through and commented on just about every chapter in the story, and has given me some great constructive criticism, which I completely plan on using. Thank you so much for your input, and you're awesome!

Once again, readers and reviewers, you all are amazing. Astounding. Thanks so much to Gurlz, 3-Legged Dog (you keep inspiring me. Thanks so much!), SnufflesLuva, windstar, Phanthom, elise bentwin, crewger, Kates Master, miwako, CarmenElizabeth (Thanks! And I'm taking it until after the Potters' death, I think up until Sirius's arrest), eternalhope08, Jump Highly, Brianda Munoz, Cowgirl2010, and ! I cannot thank you all enough for the amazing criticism and support. God bless :)

By the way: over 300 reviews! Thank you all so, so much! Cookies to all :)

* * *

_December, 1975  
_

* * *

Enough

"I really need this vacation," James groaned. "It's been a tough year so far."

"I agree," Remus sighed. "I can't go through classes for another day."

"Oh all you lucky people," Sirius said, sighing. "I get to go back to mum's excessive screaming."

"I'm inviting you all over," Remus shrugged. "I think we've all trespassed James's hospitality long enough."

James laughed. "Hey, I don't mind at all. Still, it would be nice to have a change, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah," Peter smiled. "It would be nice."

The Marauders threw around the word "change" too easily. They would love change in their lives, but they didn't know just how fast change was creeping upon the world. Inside the castle, there as safety, comfort… Outside, there was murder.

"Did the mail come yet?" James asked, gulping down a huge glass of orange juice.

"I don't think so," Remus said, shaking his head. He looked up at the ceiling. "Oh, here they come."

A pack of owls flew in to the Great Hall at the moment. One landed in front of Remus, clutching the Daily Prophet. Remus reached over, paid the owl, and detached the newspaper.

As if routine, the four boys crowded together, eagerly scanning the paper.

"Anyone we know?" James asked anxiously.

They all read the paper quite nervously. Then, Remus let out a small smile. "Nope. All clear."

They all let out a sigh of relief.

"It seems just yesterday that the Death Eaters showed up on my front doorstep, asking my mum and dad to join their side," James sighed as he went back to gulping down orange juice.

"I remember that," Sirius said grimly.

"Yeah," James said, shrugging. "It was so random."

"Don't worry," Remus said stiffly. "I think their plan was to somehow scare or surprise their followers, or rather, their would-be followers." He paused. "Perhaps Voldemort thought that no one would expect them to come recruiting so soon." He smiled grimly. "I'm afraid that he probably had a list of everyone on the list that refused to join."

"My parents were definitely shocked," James said bleakly. "Death Eaters don't usually show up in daylight anyway."

Sirius and Peter sniggered.

"It's true," Remus said thoughtfully. "When they showed up at my house…"

Sirius and Peter stopped laughing. "They showed up at your house?" Sirius asked, frowning.

Remus nodded.

"When?" Peter asked.

"I think a summer after James's parents got the offer," Remus said, eyes furrowed. "Around the time your uncle was murdered."

"Oh," James said. His mind clicked. At the time he and Sirius were too young to understand what opposing Voldemort would mean. He clenched his fist tighter in his hands. The price to pay for opposition was high; James had lost his uncle and his uncle's entire family. James fought back the urge to cry.

"James, you had enough problems of your own at the time," Remus shrugged. "I guess that's why I forgot to tell you."

"Oh," James said again.

"So what did they say?" Sirius asked curiously.

"Same thing they said to the Potters, from what I've heard," Remus said grimly. "They asked us to join. My parents said no, of course, and they just left after telling us we'll be sorry."

"Oh," James said. He seemed incapable of saying anything more.

"Isn't your house hard to find?" Sirius asked Remus.

"That's probably why they came a year after they visited James," Remus shrugged. "Our woods are dangerous." He let out a bleak smile. "It's where I was bitten."

There was a moment of silence.

"But let's not go into that right now," Remus said, trying to sound cheerful. "The winter vacations… I've been looking forward to this since forever."

"Moony," Sirius gasped. "Are you actually trying to tell us that you don't enjoy memorizing spellbooks in your spare time?"

"Why yes, Padfoot," Remus smiled. "Because, you see, I'm too busy growing claws to see my homework properly."

The four friends laughed at this. The bell rang just then, signaling the end of breakfast time. Mary, Lauren and Rachael came up to say hello to Sirius, Peter and James before they headed off to class. Faye blew Remus a kiss from across the hall, to which Remus beamed with pleasure. The two hadn't talked in a long time, as Remus had been shutting everyone out. But though Faye noticed something was definitely wrong, the amount of schoolwork pulled on her as another stress factor. Before she could truly figure out what was wrong with her boyfriend, he seemed to have snapped out of it, and she didn't think much more of it, though she did question him a couple of times after he returned to his normal self. He would always tell her he was okay, that he just had a bad couple of days, and she would be temporarily satisfied.

It had taken time, but Remus had forgiven Sirius. He didn't think he would ever be able to forget the incident, but he was certain that Sirius really was sorry for what he had done.

Since Remus always talked to Lily for advice, he often asked her if Faye had talked to her about any more of those strange days when he shut everyone out, and Lily usually shook her head no.

Now, Remus waved goodbye to Faye, and the boys left Mary, Lauren and Rachael, and headed off to Charms class.

"Must – get- through – another – week -" James said as he sat down at his desk.

Sirius laughed. "Alright, Prongs, enough."

Charms class was boring. Flitwick decided to spend the entire class reviewing charms they had learned earlier in the year, and everyone in the class was already familiar with them, including Peter.

By the end of class, James felt that a cage that had been enclosed around them finally burst free. The Marauders had passed most of class talking about Voldemort, and though it was an interesting topic, James couldn't help but feel incredibly compacted every time Voldemort's name was mentioned. He didn't feel fear. He felt pressure compressing his insides.

"What do we have next?" James asked. "I forgot."

Remus dug into his bag for the schedule.

"Hurry up, Moony," Sirius said playfully.

"Shut up, Padfoot," Remus said, voice muffled. "Go get your own schedule."

James, Peter and Sirius laughed.

Suddenly, a jet of light shot out from nowhere. Remus let out a cry of surprise as he was blown off his feet and into the nearby wall. He lay there in shock, dazed.

"Wha-?" Sirius whipped around and saw Snape and a small gang of Slytherins approaching them, including Regulus. Snape was heading the gang, a triumphant smile on his pale face.

"That's it," Sirius growled. He whipped out his wand and tried to fire a spell at Snape. Before he could finish saying his spell, James wrenched Sirius's arm away.

"What the hell are you doing?" Sirius growled.

"I'm not going to let you get expelled," James snapped.

"That-doesn't-matter," Sirius breathed, trying to wrench his arm from James's grip.

A couple jets of light flew at them. Miraculously, they both managed to dodge them.

"Let go of my arm," Sirius commanded. "Now."

"No," James said firmly. "Don't you remember what Dumbledore said? You'll be expelled if you hex Snape!"

"Not if they don't find out," Sirius snapped. "Let go of my arm."

A jet of light hit James in the shoulder right then. James let out a gasp of pain, but he wouldn't let go – he had an iron hold on Sirius's arm.

Snape's squad was closing in at the moment. Swiftly, James snatched Sirius's wand out of Sirius's hand and tossed it to Peter. Sirius let out a cry of protest, but Peter had caught the wand before Sirius could grab it.

James released Sirius's arm quickly and shot a couple of spells at the Slytherins. One hit, and a Slytherin fell to the ground. But there were too many of them. A crowd, like always, was beginning to gather, and watched the fight with apprehension. Sirius was swearing, and tried to recover his wand from Peter, but Peter had edged away down the hall.

Remus was clambering back up from the ground. He joined James and shot spells at the Slytherins, who shot spells right back.

Snape was now battling face to face with James, and he was sneering, his oily hair swiped in front of his face.

"Watch it, Snivelly," James growled.

"Shut it, Potter," Snape said, face now livid.

"Oh, I'm so scared," James said mockingly, voice low enough so that only Snape could hear. "Next time, I won't pull you out of the way of a werewolf. Save your own skin next time."

Snape's face turned very ugly indeed. "I don't owe you anything, James Potter," he snapped, face pale. He aimed a spell straight at James's chest.

James was expecting it. He deflected it quickly, and then swiftly shot a spell at Snape. Snape keeled over on the ground, arm bleeding.

"FREEZE!" Professor McGonagall suddenly yelled, striding up to the group. The crowd turned and saw her pushing a pathway to get of the middle of the fight. Her face was full of fury. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?"

A couple of the Slytherins tried to run away, but the crowd boxed them in.

"Mr. Lupin, are you all right?" she asked.

Remus was on the floor once again, dazed. He nodded at her, but refused to meet her eyes.

"A week's detention, Snape, Avery, Travers, all of you!" she snapped. "I expected better!" She looked around. "One hundred and fifty points from Slytherin! Fifty points from Gryffindor! Mr. Snape, up to the hospital wing, your arm is bleeding."

"I'm fine, Professor," Snape muttered.

"Hospital wing," she said, nostrils flared. "Now."

Snape got up grudgingly. The crowd had dispersed at this point, and McGonagall was glaring at some of the other Slytherins involved in this. Sirius and Peter stood at the sideline, watching all this. Sirius had a hard look on his face.

"I don't owe you anything, Potter," Snape spat as he dusted himself off. His eyes were narrowed to slits, his face white. "I owe you NOTHING!"

With that, he turned on his heels and stalked off, presumably in the direction of the hospital wing.

McGonagall gave them all a last look and left. The grudging Slytherins dispersed as well, as their leader was gone. Regulus shot Sirius a last look of hatred before stalking away as well.

James helped Remus up, and they walked over to where Sirius and Peter were standing.

"What did he mean by that?" James said, confused.

"By what?" Peter asked.

"He doesn't owe me anything," James replied. "What did he mean by that?'

Remus looked at James.

None of them answered. They stood in silence, not knowing how far Snape's words would carry into the future, and how far back he would go back on them when the time came.

* * *

James and Sirius rushed up to the common room, beaming. James kicked open the door to the dorm, and the two flew inside their dormitory, literally glowing.

"We have the perfect idea," James said loudly, grinning so much his face hurt. He was completely out of breath.

Remus looked up at them from his bed. Peter also stopped trying to charm a sock and looked up to listen.

"We've got the perfect idea to keep Snivelly from following us around," Sirius quipped. He was also beaming.

"Stop beating around the bush," Remus said impatiently.

"Alright, Moony," James said, still smiling widely. "Sirius and I have decided that we, as Marauders, are going to come up with a map of the school."

"A map?" Remus said, frowning. "That's it?"

"Oh Moony, you're missing the major parts of it," Sirius said excitedly. "It's not just a map. It's a Marauder's map."

"Exactly," James chimed in. "We're going to not only map out the secret passages of the school and every nook and cranny that we can find, but also, we're going to map the people of the school and where everyone is. It'll prevent any more annoying run-ins with Snivelly."

Remus looked at them. "It's a brilliant idea," he said slowly, beginning to grin widely as well.

James and Sirius cheered. "What say you, Wormtail?" James asked.

"I think it's brilliant too," Peter squeaked excitedly.

"But I don't think it's completely necessary," Remus interjected.

James's grin faltered slightly. "What? Why?"

"We already know all the passageways of the school," Remus shrugged. "And I don't know if getting Snivelly off our backs is worth all this trouble."

"It certainly is," Sirius said impatiently.

"And it's not only for us," James said, shrugging.

"Oh?' Remus said, one eyebrow raised.

"It's for our future children as well," James said. "When they come to Hogwarts, we'll give the map to them. We'll hand down the Marauder legacy."

"Future children?" Remus said, and burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" James said slightly offended.

"Prongs, how do we even know we will all have these so-called future children?"

"I don't plan on becoming a hobo," James said defensively.

Peter, Sirius and Remus burst out in laughter.

"Seriously!" James said.

"We know," Sirius said, grinning. He turned to Remus. "Moony, come on, please?"

Remus looked uncertain.

"I promise you it won't be that much work, and honestly, I really think that we'll be able to keep Snivelly off our backs."

"Not to mention avoid detention if Snape or McGonagall catches us," James chimed in.

Remus sat for a bit longer. Then, he shrugged, and let out a wide grin. "Sure. Let's go for it."

Peter, Sirius and James cheered.

"When do we start?" Remus asked.

"Now," Sirius said.

"What?" Remus said, eyebrows furrowed. "It's the last day before Christmas break!"

"I think the earlier we get started on it, the better it is," James said stubbornly.

"I agree," Peter said. "Plus, we can use the invisibility cloak. That's a huge advantage."

"Hey, great idea," Sirius said.

"Thanks," Peter grinned.

"So we're going now?" Remus asked.

"Yup," James grinned.

Remus rolled his eyes.

The four boys walked out of the dormitory, out of the common room and down flights of stairs until they reached the dungeons. They decided to work their way up.

Down in the dungeon area, they worked diligently and explored every space of the floor they possibly could. Peter would sometimes, when he was sure nobody was looking, transform into a rat and research the areas the other boys could not get into.

As they hit the entrance to the Slytherin common room, the four boys hit an end.

"I have no clue what's in there," Sirius grimaced.

"Me neither," Remus said, shaking his head. "And I don't think any Slytherins would be too happy to help us map out their Common Room."

They stood in silence for a while.

"Maybe we should simply leave it," Peter said at last.

"Yeah," James said. "Besides having no choice, I think it's best if we just leave blank space. I don't think any of our future children will ever go in there anyway."

"More with the future children stuff?" Remus groaned.

"Apparently," Sirius sniggered.

By the end of the day, the boys had finished mapping the entire dungeon area. It took sweat and precision, but they had to agree; their map was coming along brilliantly.

"Perfection," Remus grinned as he looked at the parchment on the way back up to the common room.

James grinned. "And you were doubting the idea."

"I've got no more doubts," Remus said. "This is amazing. I can't wait for it to be done."

"I agree," Sirius grinned.

"Me too," Peter chimed in.

"What shall we name it?" Remus asked.

"It's obvious, isn't it?" James shrugged.

"What?" Remus said.

"The Marauder's Map," James said simply.

"The Marauder's Map," Sirius and Peter echoed.

Remus walked in silence for a while. He grinned. "The Marauder's Map," he nodded, smiling with pride.

* * *

Lily Evans stepped off the train carefully. Somehow, slight drizzling always made her slip, and she didn't feel like falling at the moment, not onto the wet ground anyway.

She pulled her trunk after her, and stepped away from the train so others could get down.

"Oy, slippery, isn't it?" Marcella said, stepping down after Lily. She was holding a book over her head.

"Quite," Lily said, smiling grimly. "Lovely weather for Christmas. It's a wonder it isn't snowing."

"That surprises me too," Marcella shrugged.

The two walked farther along the platform and ducked under an awning.

"Are you sure you can't come home with me this Christmas?" Lily asked her friend deploringly.

Marcella laughed. "I'm sorry, Lily dear. But I think my dad really wants my company at the moment."

"I understand," Lily said, forcing a smile. "You're the only girl he has left."

"I know," Marcella said sadly. "I'm sorry, Lily."

"Don't be," Lily said softly. "I need to stop being so selfish."

"No, you're not," Marcella smiled.

"Do you see our parents anywhere?" Lily asked, looking around the station. She could barely see through the rain; it was blurring her vision. Though it was only a drizzle, the rain was gaining momentum.

"No, but I see James and his friends," Marcella said.

Lily ignored that comment.

"Oh, I see your parents!" Marcella suddenly exclaimed, pointing into the rain. Lily turned to look. Sure enough, two shapes emerged out of the drizzle with an umbrella over their head, beckoning at Lily. Lily squinted, and could just make out her mother's face.

"I guess they want me to go to them," Lily said. She turned to her best friend. "Marci, you'll be alright?"

"Of course," Marcella said.

"I'll see you after break then," Lily said. "I'll write if the weather lets up. But take care!"

"Thanks, dear," Marcella grinned. "Have a lovely Christmas!"

"You too," Lily said. She dragged her trunk along in the drizzle, leaving Marcella behind. She watched her step carefully, not wanting to slip, and finally reached her parents. They all ran to their car quickly.

"Wow, what weather," Mr. Evans said as they slipped into the car.

"I know, daddy," Lily said, clambering into the back seat. "I would have expected snow."

"Lily dear, you must be freezing," Mrs. Evans said concernedly. "You're soaking wet!"

"I'm okay," Lily said, though she was shivering a little.

Mr. Evans started the car and turned up the heat as far as it could go. Soon enough, Lily was almost dry, and the warmth of her car made her long for home even more. The car sped along the streets, and in no time, Mr. Evans pulled into the Evans's driveway.

"I'm so happy to be home," Lily said as the car entered the garage.

"And we're so happy you're home," Mrs. Evans said. "We missed you."

"I missed you too," Lily smiled. She climbed out of the car and gathered her trunk.

She entered home with a feeling of euphoria at being home. She could almost smell her mother's sweet potatoes. This happy feeling, however, disappeared as soon as she caught glimpse of a thin, blonde girl that disappeared from the living room as soon as Lily arrived.

Lily bit her lip. She had forgotten about her sister.

"Why don't you go up and change," Mrs. Evans said, coming up behind her daughter. "Parts of your clothes are still wet."

"That's a good idea. Then, why don't you come down to the dining room? We've prepared a welcome home dinner for you," Mr. Evans smiled.

Lily nodded. They had noticed nothing of Petunia's snub.

She dragged her trunk up to her bedroom, savoring every minute of the climb. Lily was determined to have a good time this holiday, and not let Petunia get to her. Not this time.

Once up in her bedroom, Lily unpacked her clothes, picked out a comfortable sweater and a pair of jeans, and put them on. She stuffed her trunk under her bed and went downstairs after that, into the dining room.

"Wow, this looks great!" she beamed at her parents as she sat down. All her favorite foods were in front of her; mounds of mashed potato, spaghetti with sauce, and for dessert, chocolate fondue.

"It was no problem," Mrs. Evans smiled. "We're just so happy and proud to have you home."

Petunia chose his moment to let out a cough, which sounded oddly like 'suck-up'.

Lily ignored her sister. Her parents didn't seem to notice.

"So Lily, tell us about your year so far at Hogwarts," Mr. Evans said.

Petunia coughed again.

"Uh, it's alright, daddy," Lily said, somewhat scathingly. "I'm not sure Petunia would very much like to hear of Hogwarts."

"You're right, I wouldn't," Petunia snapped.

"So why don't you tell us about your school, Petunia dear?" Lily said mockingly. "I'm sure you have plenty to say."

"Lily," Mrs. Evans said warningly.

"May I be excused?" Petunia said shrilly. Without waiting for an answer, she threw down her napkin and strode out of the room. Lily heard her sister's footsteps run up the stairs.

The anger was burning in Lily, and her parents were looking at the scene with some shock. However, they stayed silent.

The rest of dinner was quiet. Neither of Lily's parents knew what to say, and Lily remained quite moody throughout. At the end of dinner, she brought her plates to the sink, and without another word, strode up the stairs to her bedroom. Of course, she felt bad about leaving her parents in confusion, but that thought was shaken out by anger.

Once she entered her room, Lily took a deep breath. She was not going to let Petunia upset her anymore. Trying to calm herself down, she sat down on her bed, and stared at nothing.

It seemed like hours after that she heard someone pass her open door. She turned to look, and there was Petunia, glaring at her.

"What do you want," Lily said rudely.

"I don't know why you come back for vacation," Petunia said. "You're not welcome here."

"Maybe not by you," Lily snapped.

"Mum and dad don't want you back either," Petunia said coldly. "They don't care. They never talk about you. As far as I'm concerned, you're no longer a part of this family."

"I am as much a part of this family as you are," Lily said icily.

"Oh, really?" Petunia sneered. "You're not here for most of the year. You don't know what's going on. Face it, Lily. No one cares about you anymore."

"That is not true!" Lily said angrily. She stood up abruptly.

"Don't lie to yourself, Lily dear," Petunia said coolly.

"Admit it, Petunia, you're jealous," Lily said scathingly.

Petunia looked as if she had been smacked in the face.

"You're jealous of me," Lily continued, voice rising. "Just admit it, won't you?"

"Jealous?" Petunia said, letting out a shrill laugh. "You're out of your mind! Why would I be jealous of _you_?"

"Because I have friends. I have a magical home waiting for me. I experience nothing dull." Lily paused. "And I have a life."

"I have a bloody life too!" Petunia yelled. "Jealous, ha, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Why would I be jealous of your freak school, your freak friends, and your freak life?"

"Because mum and dad are so proud to have a witch in the family," Lily said coldly.

Petunia looked as if she'd been smacked in the face for the second time that day.

"Go back to your freak school," she said, voice shaking a bit. "I never want to see you again."

"Fine by me," Lily said smoothly. "But you can't prevent me from coming back here during the holidays."

Petunia shot one last glare at Lily. Then, without another word, she turned on her heels and walked away from Lily's door and out of site.

Lily heard her parents coming up the stairs to investigate the noise, but Lily didn't want to be interrogated right now. She slammed the door shut, locked it, and sat down at her desk.

Though she seemed calm, hot anger surged through every cell of her body. She could not understand Petunia for the world, and she would not feel guilty about her words. Too many times had Petunia pushed her emotions around. This was one time she had had enough.

She took out a piece of parchment. It was still pouring outside, but Lily wanted to write to Marcella anyway. Perhaps it was the only thing that could make her feel better.

She thought back to years ago, when she used to confide in Severus...whenever she was angry or upset, she could always, always count on him to be there for her. But then, she thought back to the lake, where he had called her an unforgivable name, thought back to all the decisions he made with his life, choices she could never accept or support... she shook her head. That was another life. She and Snape were long done.

She held the parchment in her hand, anger still surging through her body. Suddenly, without warning, the parchment went up in a flame. Lily dropped the parchment in shock, and gasped in surprise. The flame burned up the paper up within seconds, and Lily was left with a pile of ashes on her desk.

Her hands shook as she looked at the remainder of the parchment. She wanted to scream, but she didn't have the voice.

"What is wrong with me?" she finally whispered to herself.

* * *

Sirius arrived at the House of Black, dripping wet from head to toe. His parents hadn't bothered to shield him with an umbrella, and the rain seemed to pour harder the longer the day went. But Sirius didn't care. He had other plans.

He was too lazy to drag his luggage up to his bedroom. Instead, he left it in the hallway, knowing that he would probably bring it up to his room later, but only when he smelled like a dead skunk and needed a change of clothes.

He trudged up the stairs to his bedroom. No one noticed him, and that was just he way he wanted to keep it, as he was going over to Remus's house for a visit.

Once in his room, he locked the door, picked up a handful of Floo Powder, threw it into the fireplace, yelled "Remus's House", and stepped into the green flames. He felt the familiar uncomfortable swirling, and the next moment, he landed in Remus's bedroom, covered in soot.

"Where were you, Padfoot?" James said, smiling.

Sirius grinned up at Remus, Peter and James, all assembled in Remus's bedroom.

Remus reached out a hand. Sirius grabbed it and pulled himself up.

"I was drowning," Sirius shrugged. "It's really pouring quite hard, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Remus said. "I'm even getting rain here, and our little neck of the woods hardly ever gets rain."

Sirius found himself shivering. "Hey, Moony, d'you have a towel or something?" he asked finally. Soot was sticking to his clothes, making him look dirtier.

"You can borrow a change of clothes," Remus said. He got up, went to his closet, and threw some random pieces of clothing at Sirius. "It's not a good time to get a cold."

"I noticed," Sirius said sarcastically. "But thanks." He went to the bathroom, changed into dry clothes, and came out again.

"You know, I'm really looking forward to finishing the Marauder's map," James said, grinning as Sirius sat down.

"Me too," Peter said excitedly.

"Think of all the mayhem we can cause now," Sirius grinned. "We're unstoppable! Nobody can catch us."

"Just make sure we're not doing anything illegal, right?" Remus said.

James let out a laugh. "And this from the guy who's best friends with three animagi?"

Remus laughed. "Point taken." He offered them all some hot chocolate, and they gratefully accepted.

"Padfoot, how're things with you and Mary?" James asked his friend.

"Brilliant," Sirius grinned. "Peter, how're things with you and Lauren?"

"Good," Peter said, flushing.

"We don't even need to ask Remus about Faye," James laughed.

"We're doing great," Remus grinned. "Simply great."

"I figured as much," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "Prongs, you and Rachael?"

"Fine," James said airily. "I haven't really talked to her much lately, but I'm sure we're fine."

"Been snogging, have you," Remus said, laughing.

"You know it," James grinned.

The rest of the afternoon was devoted to talk and roaring laughter. Before long, it seemed like it was nighttime, and the sky darkened even more than it did under the grey clouds of rain. The hot chocolate lacked the fresh warmth it had when Remus first poured it out, and the rain poured even harder than before. The splatter of drops on the ground outside could be heard clearly.

"I think I should go," James finally said.

"So soon?" Remus said.

"I promised my mum I'd be home before it got too dark," James said, standing up.

"Mummy's boy," Sirius said jokingly.

James laughed.

"I actually think I ought to go as well," Peter said. "It is getting quite late, and I should go."

"Party poopers," Sirius grinned.

"We'll just invite ourselves over some other time then, right, Moony?" James grinned.

"Make sure you look at your lunar calendars," Remus laughed. "I got you each one for Christmas."

"Joy," Sirius groaned.

They all laughed. Then, James reluctantly headed to the fireplace. "I'll see you all again soon," he said. "Party at my house."

They all laughed again. Then, James tossed floo powder into the fireplace, and was soon gone in a whirl of green flames.

"Bye," Peter said, standing up.

"Bye Wormtail," Remus and Sirius chorused. Peter too disappeared into the green flames.

"D'you think I could stay for a while longer?" Sirius asked Remus.

"Of course," Remus said, grinning. "You're always welcome."

"Thanks," Sirius grinned.

The two friends talked quite a while longer, laughing at James's Quidditch antics and discussing the Marauder's map in greater detail. Soon, though, even Sirius realized that it was probably time for him to head back.

"Thanks Moony," Sirius said finally.

"You're welcome," Remus said. "I should thank you for the company."

"Yeah, I was great company, wasn't I," Sirius said, grinning cheekily.

Remus rolled his eyes.

Sirius stood up. "I'll see you later, Moony," he said as he grabbed a handful of floo powder.

""Later," Remus grinned.

Sirius slammed the powder into the fireplace, shouted 'the noblest and most ancient house of Black' while crinkling his nose, and stepped into the flames. After moments of discomfort, he landed on the floor of his bedroom.

"Had a good time, did you," he heard a cold voice say above him.

Sirius looked up, startled. There, assembled, was his parents and Regulus, leering at him triumphantly. He remained silent.

Mr. Black jerked Sirius up by the arm. Sirius felt a flash of pain across his arm, but he didn't flinch.

"Where have you been?" Mrs. Black said quietly.

"None of your business," Sirius snapped.

"You filthy ingrate!" Mrs. Black said loudly, eyes bulging.

"Now, Walburga," Mr. Black said smoothly. "I'll handle this."

Sirius stood on the spot, arm still smarting.

"Where have you been going?" Mr. Black asked rudely. "Tell me now."

"Like I said, it's none of your business," Sirius snapped.

"He was off visiting one of his friends," Regulus cut in, sneering. "I'm sure of it. I've overheard them talking about it. That's why I've gotten mum and dad to investigate."

"Why you little-" Sirius growled.

"I'm betting it was either the blood-traitor or the half-blood," Regulus said airily.

"The Potters, eh? Blood traitors," Mr. Black snarled. "Or dirty blood."

"They're ten times what you are," Sirius spat.

"That's it," Mrs. Black shrieked. "We're locking you someplace away from a fireplace! We are not tolerating this anymore! You are forbidden to associate with those – those filthy half-bloods and muggle-loving blood traitors! WE FORBID! YOU ARE NOT RUINING THIS FAMILY'S REUPTATION ANY MORE!"

Sirius's anger mounted.

"Better, yet," Mr. Black said icily. "Let's just transfer the boy to Durmstrang." His nostrils flared. "They have much better education there, and won't have muggle-loving fools like Albus Dumbledore running the place."

Sirius's blood boiled. Without warning, Sirius strode quickly to the door, flung it open, and ran down the stairs as fast as he could.

"GET HIM!" Mrs. Black screamed.

Sirius could feel blood pounding in his ears, and could hear footsteps behind him. He flew down the stairs as fast as possible. He was getting out. No more. No more House of Black, no more torture, no more pure-blood crap. He didn't belong. He didn't want to. He wanted out.

As he reached the bottom stair, he felt a hand close tightly around his upper left arm. Without pausing to think, he whipped out his wand with his right hand and whirled around to face his father.

"You let go of me right now," Sirius growled. "You let go of me, or I'll curse you into oblivion."

His father let out a taunting smile. "You wouldn't dare."

"Oh yeah?" Sirius said, teeth bared. "Try me."

His father still held an iron grip on his arm. Sirius's eyes were starting to water from the pain. With one roar of rage, Sirius jabbed the tip of his wand into his father's eye.

Orion Black let out a howl of pain, and staggered back, clutching his eye. Regulus looked down with, for the first time, a look of fear. Sirius didn't wait for anything else. He sped through the hallway, grabbed his packed suitcase that was simply lying there, and ran out the door.

He was met with a torrent of rain on his front step. The liquid was drowning him, but to him, it felt like a cleansing, a cleaning of who he wasn't. At the moment, Sirius wouldn't have cared if it was hailing. He wanted to get out no matter what.

He dragged his luggage along, and he heard it rattle behind him, the wheels getting more than its fair share of exercise for the day. The rain smacked his face, and his vision was blurry, but he kept on going. He wasn't sure where he was going, but he was going to get there. He would make sure of it.

* * *

James Potter sat on his couch, a plate of cookies by his side. Heda had cooked his absolute favorite, and James loved being up at night, indulging in these midnight snacks. Both his parents were asleep, and he loved sitting in front of the warm living room fireplace, consuming a batch of the soft, chewy cookies.

A sudden rattle from outside startled him. He thought nothing of it, but then he heard a loud knocking on the door. James cautiously got up from the couch. He was sure his parents couldn't hear it, and he didn't want to wake them up. But what if it was a death eater?

James took out his wand and pointed it at the door. He cautiously walked towards it, and in one swift motion, pulled the door open.

"Sirius?"

Sirius Black was dripping wet in Remus Lupin's shirt and pants, carrying an equally wet trunk, grinning ruefully at James from the porch.

"What happened to you?" James asked, frowning.

"I'll-tell-you-later," Sirius said, teeth chattering. "Can I come in?"

James moved aside and ushered his friend into the house. He then ran to the bathroom and got four towels for his friend.

"Sit," James ordered once the two were in the living room.

"I don't want to get your couch wet," Sirius said, shivering.

"Doesn't matter," James said. "Just sit."

Sirius plopped down on the couch. James threw the four towels over his friend, and Sirius grinned at James gratefully.

"How on earth did you get here?" James asked, astounded. "Did you walk?"

Sirius nodded.

"You're insane," James said, shaking his head.

"I know," Sirius said, grinning cheekily. "Prongs, d-d'you think I could stay here for the rest of Christmas break?"

"Sure," James said. "You're always welcome here. My parents won't mind."

"Thanks," Sirius said gratefully. He coughed, and coughed up water. Wiping his mouth with a towel, he looked fatigued.

And in no time at all, Sirius had fallen asleep on the couch, clothes still wet, but drying in the warmth of the room. James watched his friend and felt not pity, but a sense of Gryffindor pride, because he knew that whatever didn't kill Sirius would only make him stronger, and Sirius was strong enough to take on whatever comes.


	45. Heartbreaker

A/N: My gosh, I'm so, so sorry for the huge delay! But I have a good reason, I swear! I've been buried in AP tests, STAR tests, finals, and so much other stuff that I don't know what's what. And on top of that, I've had writers block. Yeesh, what a month! But I've already started work on the next chapter, and with a bit of break time, I'll get the next chapter up much quicker, I promise!

Because of the writers block and the delay, the chapter might flow less smoothly and be less... well, good, and I really am sorry for that. But overall, it was a fun chapter to write, and I hope you all enjoy.

Two quick notes: Walburga is courtesy of JK Rowling, not me. The name was on the Black Family Tree, and it took a bit of research to dig up that info! Also, thanks so much for those who were offering to help me beta my work! If you would still like to do that, please email me, as I would love to have a beta. Thanks, all!

And thanks so, so much to the readers that never gave up on me! Thank you to Hahukum Konn, Kates Master, Jump Highly, Zazzie, CarmenElizabeth, windstar, living-is-easy-with-eyes-closed, Miwako (twice! thanks so much!), Bri Leonard, chocoluvr, crewger, Elise Bentwin, Larien Galathil, Young Prewett, Kendra-the hyper one, RitaSkeeterGossip (was it four times? I love you!), MaraudingChick, araceli, and 3 Legged Dog! You all are so beyond amazing I can't even describe it. Thanks so much!

* * *

_December - February, 1975-1976_

* * *

Heartbreaker

"You know," Sirius said, munching on a cookie. "You don't have to let me crash with you."

James laughed. "Padfoot. D'you really think I would kick you out?"

Sirius sneezed, then grinned at James. "I guess not."

James laughed again. "You got that right."

Sirius smiled appreciatively. He felt grateful for having a friend like James. It was the last week before Christmas vacation ended, and Sirius knew he was never going to return to Grimmauld Place. It wasn't going to happen. His family wouldn't want him back, and just the thought of the noblest and most ancient house of Black made him sick. Stupid _toujours pur_. He was better off without it.

Sirius let out a series of sneezes.

"Mate, you all right?" James asked concernedly.

"Yeah," Sirius sniffed.

"I guess the cold hasn't gone yet," James said.

Sirius shook his head. "But don't tell your mother, Prongs. She'll force medicine on me again.

James laughed. "As long as you don't run home again in the pouring rain when it's winter."

Sirius let out another sneeze, then grinned. "Yeah."

"Did I just hear my name?" Mrs. Potter said, coming into the kitchen doorway where she saw two boys sitting at a small table.

"Mum!" James said, startled. "When did you get home?"

"Just now," she said. "Are you two alright?"

"Yeah," James answered. "Is dad home?"

"No, he's still at the office," Mrs. Potter said.

Sirius had to sneeze badly. He tried to hold it in by pinching his nose.

"Sirius," Mrs. Potter said, catching this movement and turning to him abruptly. "Are you still sick?"

Sirius couldn't hold it anymore. He let out a giant sneeze.

"My goodness!" Mrs. Potter exclaimed. "You poor dear! Let me get you some medicine!"

"Mum, it's okay," James said. "He's getting better, I don't really think he needs medicine."

"I think he does," Mrs. Potter said warningly, and left the room.

"Uh, it's okay," Sirius started. But Mrs. Potter had already run up the stairs.

"Brilliant," Sirius groaned. "More muggle medicine."

"It's not pneumonia, is it?" James asked.

"Nah," Sirius shrugged. "Whatever it is, it'll go away soon."

"Yeah, probably," James said. "Take the medicine, and she'll be happy."

"Whatever she wants me to do, I'll do it," Sirius said, somewhat gratefully. "You all have given me a home, and not a house. A home."

James smiled. "We'll always do that."

Just then, Mrs. Potter had bustled up to the boys with a bottle of medicine. "Here, dear," she said, waving it in front of Sirius. "Drink up, it says two spoonfuls of this will do."

"It's liquid then?" James asked interestedly.

"Yes, makes an easier digestion. Come, dear, I don't want your cold to get worse," she said to Sirius.

She watched carefully as Sirius poured two spoonfuls of the liquid into his mouth. Then, she beamed, took the medicine, and went back upstairs to put it back. "What do you want for dinner?" she called out from the stairs.

"Anything," James called back.

Sirius coughed a bit more.

"You alright?" James asked.

"Cherry flavored," Sirius said, grinning.

James laughed.

"You know," Sirius said slowly. "I don't think the whole thing with me and Mary is working out."

"That's completely random," James said, brows furrowed. "Why?"

Sirius shrugged. "I don't know. The whole relationship is getting rather boring, to tell you the truth."

James let out a grin. "Had enough of snogging, have you?"

"Never!" Sirius said, shocked.

James laughed. "Kidding."

"Dunno," Sirius shrugged. "She's…"

"Like all the other girls you've dated?" James offered.

Sirius scowled. "I don't date, Prongs," he said.

"Right," James grinned. "You've only had one major snogging buddy before this."

"That's not the point," Sirius said slowly. "I think the relationship is getting too generic."

"What, no more enjoyment in snogging?" James said, grinning cheekily.

"Oh shut it, Prongs," Sirius said good-naturedly. "But you're right."

"You know I was kidding, right?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I simply don't think me and Mary are working out."

"Going to break up with her, then?" James asked.

"I guess," Sirius shrugged.

"Won't she be kind of hurt by it?" James said apprehensively.

"Nah," Sirius said, waving that away. "We haven't known each other that long. It's not like we were planning to get married or anything."

"Especially since you guys aren't even dating," James said wryly.

Sirius shot a glare at James, but then grinned. "Yep. I guess you're right." He stretched his arm back and leaned against the chair. "I've got nothing to worry about."

* * *

In no time at all, the boys were back to the castle. Sirius still had a minor cold, but he waved it off with shrugs, saying that it would get better soon anyway. The first day back, the marauders stalked the first floor, trying to map it as best they could.

"This bloody castle is so big," Sirius complained, sketching a wall corner on their map.

"Just figured that out, have you," Remus said sarcastically. "Stop complaining. This was your idea."

"It was Prongs' idea," Sirius said. "And mine."

"Blame it on the stag," James said sarcastically.

Remus rolled his eyes.

At the end of the day they did manage to complete mapping the first floor. The skeleton of their map was coming together quite nicely, and each of the Marauders beamed with pride whenever they saw it. Remus had started researching spells that would map people and their movement, but of course, that couldn't be put on until the skeleton was done.

On their third day back, the marauders saw a crowd milling frantically past them as they made their way to breakfast. "What is going on?" Remus frowned as an excited classmate pushed past him.

"I have no idea," Sirius said. He suddenly grunted as someone slammed into him. "Watch it!" he growled.

"Sorry," a boy said, turning around. "But apparition information is posted!" With that, he rushed off.

"Apparition, eh?" James said.

"Isn't that where you disappear from one place and instantly turn up at another?" Peter asked.

"That's the one," Sirius said, now looking around. "Where's the bulletin board?"

"Honestly," Remus rolled his eyes. "I'd think you were a first year."

"Over this way," James said, leading the pack. They arrived at the bulletin board in minutes, and there was a giant crowd.

"Move it, coming through," Sirius said, pushing his way through the crowd. At last he saw a large sign posted.

"What does it say?" Peter asked, jumping to try to see the board.

"Is says that if you're seventeen or will be seventeen before August of next year, you can take a twelve-week apparition course that costs twelve galleons," Sirius said.

"That's all of us, then?" James asked.

Remus nodded.

"Quit pushing!" Sirius said, growling at a fifth year.

"Let's get out of here," Remus said.

"We can't," Sirius said. "We have to sign our names here."

"Anyone have a quill?" James asked.

Immediately, four girls around them started rummaging in their bags. "Here, I've got one," a pale-faced girl said excitedly, waving it in front of James.

"Thank you very much," James said charmingly, smiling a wide smile at her. The girl practically melted.

Sirius snatched the quill from James and scribbled the names of the Marauders down. Then, he returned it to the pale girl, who, by now, was melting even harder. "Thanks," he said, grinning at her. Now she looked like she was about to faint.

"Now can we get out of here?" Remus said. He looked on in partial amusement at the love-ridden girl, and partial disbelief.

"Sure, Moony," Sirius grinned.

They headed toward the Great Hall for breakfast, occasionally stopping to say hello to people. Finally, they arrived at their usual spot on the Gryffindor table, and sat down.

"I'm starving," Sirius muttered as he grabbed a bagel.

"Surprise surprise," Remus said, rolling his eyes.

James was pouring orange juice down his throat when he spied Lily and Marcella entering the Great Hall. Without warning, he choked on his orange juice.

"Prongs!" Remus said, alarmed. "Are you alright?"

"Apparently not," Sirius said sarcastically, looking up as James started coughing.

Peter hit James on the back a couple of times. James stopped coughing, and his breathing returned to normal, though he was very red.

"Thanks Peter," he gasped.

"What happened?" Remus frowned.

"Nothing," James said, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"Sure," Remus said skeptically.

"I'm telling you, it was nothing," James said forcefully. He stood up. "If you don't believe me, I'm not going to eat here."

"James!" Remus said, frowning.

But James had already started down the table.

"What's stuck up his knickers at this time in the morning?" Sirius said.

Remus and Peter stifled a laugh. "Should we go after him?" Peter asked.

"Nah," Sirius said, chomping on a piece of bread. "He'll get over it. Dunno why he's so…"

"Odd this morning? Dunno," Remus said. "I just hope he snaps out of it soon."

James, as he strode down the aisle, was angry at himself for flying off the handle that way. However, he spied Rachael sitting with Mary and Lauren, and immediately strode up next to them and sat down beside Rachael.

"Hello, beautiful," he said to her.

"James!" she said, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I just decided to join you lovely ladies for breakfast," James said, smiling.

"Thanks," Rachael said, smiling at him.

"Where's Sirius?" Mary asked quickly, glancing down the table.

"Sorry, it's just me," James said.

"I don't mind," Rachael said, smiling a bit.

"Thanks," James said. He poured himself another glass of orange juice and sipped it casually. Down the table, he could see Sirius, Peter and Remus rolling around in laughter about something. James half-wanted to go back to sit with them, but he knew his pride couldn't handle it. So he settled himself and took another sip of juice.

His eyes landed on Marcella, and he remembered that he had to go over a play with her. Next to her was Lily. James simply couldn't look away, no matter how hard he tried. It was like she was scorched into his mind, a glaring fire that wouldn't let go.

"James!"

James whipped around and saw Rachael glancing impatiently at him.

"Sorry, what?" James said, hoping she didn't notice him staring at Lily.

"I've asked you that question five times," Rachael said, frowning. "Are you going to answer me or not?"

"Er," James said.

He was saved by the bell, which rang at that moment. Rachael got up, gave James one last exasperated look, and kissed him quickly on the lips.

"See you later," she said, and walked off.

James smiled to himself. Then, he spied Lily looking at him with her eyes narrowed, and suddenly that joy left him as easily as it had come.

* * *

"Hurry up!" Sirius whispered urgently, signaling to Remus. "Quicker!"

"I'm coming!" Remus said, half-snapping. "One more painting!"

"We are never going to get this floor mapped at this rate," Sirius groaned. "Hurry up!"

"Do you want the map to look good or not," Remus said, irritated.

"Of course!" Sirius said.

"Then stop," Remus said. "I'm taking my time."

"I'm really feeling uneasy about this," Peter said nervously. "We all don't fit under the cloak together anymore."

"That's why we're making this map," James whispered.

They all stood quietly for a minute while Remus finished his sketch of the painting.

"Did you just hear something?" Peter suddenly asked, frowning.

They stood for a while, listening apprehensively.

"I hear footsteps," James whispered urgently. "Run!"

They took off as silently as possible, sprinting down a left corridor. They had been mapping the fifth floor, and they knew by now that there was a good hiding place behind suits of armor. They arrived at the spot, breathless, and jumped behind suits of armor.

The four friends heard scuttling footsteps entering the corridor, followed by a cat's yowl.

"Filch," Sirius muttered under his breath.

James peeked out cautiously from behind his suit of armor and instantly drew back, holding his breath. Filch was now examining the suits of armor, and would soon arrive at the four marauders. James prayed that Filch would simply turn back. No such luck.

Suddenly, without warning, there was a huge clanging sound, and James heard Peter squeal out. James groaned and swore under his breath. Sirius could just make out Filch grinning ecstatically as he strode toward the noise. Sirius, in one swift move, pushed the suit of armor he was hiding behind onto the unsuspecting Filch.

There was a huge banging sound as Filch was duly crushed by the armor. Remus dragged Peter out from behind the armor and ran as fast as they could back to the Gryffindor common room. James and Sirius were not far behind them.

As they entered the common room, Sirius and James burst out into laughter. "Nice aim, mate," James said to Sirius between gasps. "Did you see Filch?"

"He crumpled like a piece of paper!" Sirius wheezed. "That was great!"

Remus frowned disapprovingly. "I don't think you should have slammed him, Sirius."

"Moony, are you kidding?" Sirius laughed. "Maybe that'll stop him from following us around any longer."

Remus opened his mouth to say something, but then shut it.

"What happened, Wormtail?" James asked.

"I kicked the suit of armor by mistake," Peter said, grinning sheepishly.

James and Sirius looked at each other, then burst out into laughter again.

Remus sighed and plopped down on a couch. "It's a shame we didn't get the sixth floor mapped like we were supposed to," he said ruefully.

"Oh stop it, Moony," James said, grinning. "Enjoy the moment."

"Yeah, we'll get it done soon," Sirius said.

"Will we?" Remus said frowning. "There's so much left of the castle to do. And even after we draw everything out we have to figure out the charms to enchant it. It's a lot of work, and I'll be really disappointed if we don't finish it this year. We have less than one and a half years left at Hogwarts."

James and Sirius looked at each other. "Don't worry about it," James said finally. "We'll finish."

"Yeah, I mean we completed Animagi transformations, for heaven's sake. We can do anything," Sirius said.

"I suppose," Remus said, shrugging.

"How about this," James said. "Whatever free time we have, we'll spend mapping the school. But on one condition."

"And what's that?" Remus said, grinning slightly.

"That you stop being the perfectionist you are and start sketching, not pulling out a straight-edge to measure how long the bathroom doors are," James said, laughing.

"Deal," Remus said, smiling.

The marauders spent so much time mapping the school for the next few days that they literally forgot everything that was going on around them. It wasn't until Rachael reminded James at breakfast the day of the lesson that he remembered about apparition lessons.

"Bloody hell," Sirius said, groaning. "I forgot about that."

"Yeah, me too," James said, sitting down. "I suppose we'll have to put off the mapping for a day."

"It's too bad," Peter said wistfully. "We only have four more floors left to map."

"That's really good," Remus said. "We'll probably be done really soon, then." He chewed on a piece of bacon, then frowned. "Oh yeah, I've been meaning to ask you something." He pulled out their sacred piece of parchment with the map drawn on it. "Are we going to put in the Room of Requirement?"

Peter, James and Sirius responded with, "No!" at the exact same time.

"Just asking," Remus said, throwing his hands up. "Why don't you want to? Don't our 'future children' need to know about this?"

"Nah," James said slowly. I'd rather tell them in person."

Sirius snorted.

"I don't know," Peter said. "I just don't think we should."

"I know what Peter means," James said. "It's our special place. I mean, it's the place where we learned to turn into animals. I really think it should be for others to discover."

Remus nodded. "That's alright with me."

"So we're not putting the room on the map. Anything else?" Peter asked.

"Dunno," James shrugged. "We might think of more stuff later, but for now, this is good."

"When's the apparition thing again?" Sirius asked, frowning.

"Sometime after breakfast, I reckon," James said.

"No," Sirius said sarcastically. "It's during breakfast."

James couldn't help but grin.

"Padfoot. Things with you and Mary going better?" Remus asked, picking up a piece of toast.

Sirius shrugged. "The usual. I don't know. I'll probably break up with her today."

Remus almost choked on his toast. "That's a quick decision, Sirius. Did you stop to think about it?"

"Yes," Sirius said defensively. "Prongs and I discussed this over break."

Remus turned to look at James, eyebrow raised.

"We did," James shrugged. "Sort of."

"I just decided that it wasn't working out," Sirius said, almost carelessly. "And if it isn't working out, then might as well end it now, right? I mean, no use for it to keep going."

"End what?" James said sarcastically. "I was under the impression that you guys weren't a couple."

Sirius scowled. "We're not. You know what I mean."

James rolled his eyes.

"Guys, we should get out of here," Peter said. "I think they're chasing everyone out to rearrange the rooms for the lesson."

The marauders shrugged, stood up, and headed toward the door. They could see most of the sixth years crowding outside it, waiting for the lesson to start. The Marauders were among the last out of the Great Hall. As soon as the room was emptied, McGonagall closed the door, telling them that they'd be invited in shortly.

James, Peter and Sirius found Mary, Lauren and Rachael in the crowd, and Remus headed off to find Faye, who was standing beside Lily and Marcella.

"Hey," Sirius said, giving Mary a kiss on the lips. "Mind if we have a little talk later?"

"Of course not," she said, giggling.

James saw Peter hug Lauren, and he went up to Rachael and gave her a kiss. They stood together quietly, waiting for the door to open. Rachael wasn't a big talker, and James could never think of much to say around her. It was usually either snogging or silence. Once in a while, he'd glance over his shoulder to see where Remus, Lily, Marcella and Faye were chatting gaily.

"What are you looking for?" Rachael asked the fifth time James did this.

"Remus was signaling something," James lied.

"Oh," she said. "Okay."

Finally, after what seemed like hours for James, the Great Hall doors opened. The students frowned as they entered, and saw various hoops spread about.

"I thought we were learning to apparate, not to hula dance," Sirius said out loud.

The class burst out laughing.

"Indeed you will, Mr. Black," Professor McGonagall said, nostrils flared. "For now, every student just stand behind a hoop. Quickly now, we've only an hour."

James stepped quickly behind a hoop, and awaited further instruction.

A rather frail looking wizard walked in at the moment, and James took him to be the Ministry of Magic instructor. He surveyed the room and muttered something about the hoops already being there. James looked at him carefully; he was certainly pale, and seemed easily breakable.

Finally, he settled himself in front of everyone, and gave a half-forced smile. "Good morning, everybody. My name is Wilkie Twycross and I shall be your apparition instructor in hopes of getting you ready to pass the test."

James and Sirius glanced at each other and tried to keep from laughing. During most of Twycross' speech, they chose to make funny looks at each other, earning disapproving looks from McGonagall and Lily. Finally, Sirius made his eyes cross in such a way that James let out a loud snicker.

"Potter! Black!" McGonagall said sharply. The whole room turned to look at them. "If you two don't stop it, I am kicking you out. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am," James and Sirius chorused together.

"Thank you," Twycross said listlessly. "Now we shall get started. He stepped up a few feet. "There are three steps to apparition, and they are called the three D's. They are Destination, Determination, and Deliberation!" He said the last phrase with more enthusiasm than his entire introduction speech. "Now, everyone, step back about five feet from your hoops."

The students did as they were told. Sirius simply stepped back, but Lily had to measure out five feet with her wand.

"The first step is to focus on your destination. Focus, as of right now, on the inside of your hoop!"

Thinking that this was the stupidest thing to pay good galleons for, James stared at the inside of the hoop.

"Now, focus your determination on that space, and let your yearning to fill that space run from your brain through your entire body!"

James raised an eyebrow, and kept on staring at the small space inside the hoop.

"And finally, the third step: turn on the spot, and feel your way into nothingness, with deliberation, of course! One…two…"

James was positively confused at this point, and on Twycross' three, he tried spinning and promptly fell over.

He heard instant chattering and pandemonium, and above it all, he heard Sirius swear loudly, then burst out into laughter as he saw that Peter had somehow entangled himself in his hoop.

The sixth years attempted this another time. Nothing happened. Twycross repeated what the three D's are, and for the third time, James focused on the inside of the hoop and spun on the spot, expecting nothing big.

In the next second, he felt an excruciating pain on his right arm.

"Aaaagh!" Rachael screamed, pointing at James. "Somebody help him!"

The whole class turned to look. James was trying hard not to cry out in the middle of his hoop, while his right arm lay on the ground beside the hoop, lifeless, as if it had simply been torn from him rudely.

Immediately the teachers swarmed on him, and he felt his right arm return to his body a few second later amid a great puff of purple smoke.

"Oy, Prongs, you okay?" Sirius called out.

"Yeah," James replied, though he was a bit shaken by the events.

"Splinching," Twycross said distastefully. "Not too pleasant, as you can all see."

"James, are you alright?" Rachael asked quietly.

James nodded. "Yeah."

For the rest of the lesson, James didn't focus on apparition at all, and therefore produced no results whatsoever. Twice he looked over at Lily's red face as she tried concentrating on the inside of her hoop and wanted to make a snide remark, but found himself unable to. When class ended, James felt more relieved than anything else. As McGonagall collected the hoops, piling them with her wand, James watched as Sirius and Mary went to a corner of the Great Hall to have their talk.

It was almost comic seeing the different faces that Mary's face molded into, but James felt truly bad for her. She was smiling at first, and then her face turned red like a clown's nose, and she started to cry loudly. Most of the sixth years had left, including Remus and Faye, but those who were still in the Great Hall turned to look at the couple. Finally, an embarrassed Sirius walked away from her and towards James, not knowing what else to do.

"Were you that harsh?" James asked quietly.

"Dunno," Sirius said, frowning. He looked uncomfortable. Mary was still letting out loud sobs, and James saw Lauren and Rachael head over to comfort her. "I just told her that things weren't working out how I wanted them to and we should quit it before it goes on any longer."

"What happened?" Peter said, coming up to the two.

"What d'you think?" Sirius snapped. Peter looked taken aback.

Sirius looked moody. "Sorry, Wormtail," he said at last. "Can we get out of here?"

James nodded, and the three left, still hearing Mary's loud sobs echo out of the Great Hall.

* * *

"Go James!" Rachael yelled from the stands as James made a swooping catch of the Snitch.

James flew by her, still rushing with adrenalin, and gave her a beaming smile. Rachael smiled back.

Lily was in the stands also, watching Marcella practice. Rachael looked around after turning away from James and spied Lily sitting alone. "Hey Lily," Rachael called. "D'you want to come over here and sit?"

Lily almost did a double-take. Though Rachael and Lily were roommates, they never really talked to each other. Rachael didn't talk much, except to Mary and Lauren, and Lily never truly made the attempt to talk to her, though Lily did like her best out of the three. "Uh, sure," she said, not wanting to be rude, though she really didn't want to go over.

Rachael smiled at Lily as Lily sat down. They were pretty much the only two in the stands watching the Gryffindors practice. Sirius and Peter had promised Remus to help map out their third to last floor for the Marauder's Map. Nobody else ever found practice exciting, and the two girls didn't either, as they were only there for their friends.

"So," Lily said after a few minutes of silence. "H-how's classes been?"

"Good," Rachael replied, smiling slightly at Lily.

"Yeah," Lily breathed. They kept on watching the team practice in silence.

"Er, Lily?" Rachael said after a while, tone somewhat cautious.

"Yeah."

"Can I ask you something?" Rachael twiddled with her fingers. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

Lily turned to look at Rachael, face serious. "Yeah, alright. Is it about James?"

Rachael smiled. "Yes."

"Okay, shoot."

Rachael took a deep breath. "What d'you think of him?"

"That's not a question you want to ask me," Lily said grimly.

Rachael laughed. "I know how you feel about him in a nutshell, but just tell me what you think of him. And don't stop and think I'll be offended; I'll be alright."

Lily let out a small smile. "Bluntly, I think he's and arrogant, pig-headed little boy who'll stop at nothing for the slightest bit of attention."

Rachael nodded. "Go on."

"There's not much else," Lily said, shrugging. "I don't know him that well, and I'm not itching to get any closer to him. He bugs the hell out of me, truthfully. How do you put up with him?"

Rachael shrugged. "Deep down he's a really good guy," she said. "And we really like each other."

"Well, I'm happy for you," Lily said truthfully.

"Thanks," Rachael said quietly.

The two sat in silence once more, looking up at the Quidditch field. James turned to see his girlfriend, and almost fell off his broom when he saw Lily sitting next to her. He fumbled with the Snitch and nearly let it go. In the stands, Lily laughed unpleasantly at this.

After what seemed like forever, the Quidditch practice was over. Lily said goodbye to Rachael, not sorry to leave the stands. She and Rachael had serious problems striking up a conversation.

"You did great, Marci," Lily beamed as she went up to Marcella.

Marcella grinned. "Thanks. I saw you and Rachael talking. Anything interesting?"

Lily shrugged. "I just can't talk to her. We're so different that it's hard to strike up a conversation. We did talk about James for a bit."

"Hah," Marcella laughed. "I bet you didn't say anything nice."

"I had nothing nice to say," Lily grinned. "And that's the truth."

Marcella laughed again, and the two girls headed back up to the Gryffindor common room together.

James spied them leaving, and leaned back so he could see the back of Lily's red hair leaving. He was therefore jolted when Rachael poked him on the shoulder. "Oh, hey," he said, smiling, giving her a kiss. "Thanks for being here today."

"Of course," Rachael said, smiling at him. "Anytime." She paused. "Do you mind if we take a walk?"

"Uh," James started.

"Do you have somewhere to go?" she said, sounding disappointed.

"Nah, I don't," James lied, knowing full well that he had promised Remus he would join him in mapping as soon as he was done with Quidditch.

"Great," Rachael said. James followed her out onto the school grounds and beside the lake. There they strolled along the edge. The late afternoon sun was beaming upon them, and though it was only spring, the warm weather almost made James sweat.

"It's a really nice day," James said to break the silence. He wanted to smack himself. His relationship with Rachael had degraded to him talking about the weather.

Rachael turned to look at him, the solemn expression well addressed on her face like the first time James had met her. "James, I'm really not going to beat around the bush with this," she said suddenly.

"Okay," James said, unsure of what she meant. Their walking came to an abrupt stop.

"I feel like you don't even see me when you look at me," Rachael said. She didn't avoid his eyes; she looked right at them.

"What d'you mean by that?" James asked frowning.

"You look right past me," she said. Her eyes pierced him. "I'm not blind, James. I see the way you look at Lily Evans."

A hot surge of anger shot into James. "What do you mean by that?" he asked, voice raised.

"I'm not repeating it again," Rachael said quietly. "I've made my point. I'm going to ask you if you are still in love with Lily."

"No!" James said forcefully. "I'm in love with you!" Those words were harder to pry out of his mouth as he thought. It was like peanut butter, stuck to the roof of his mouth, sticky words that he knew deep inside he didn't mean.

Rachael caught his tone. "Please don't lie to me," she said stonily. "You're not over Lily, James. I see it every time you look at her. And unfortunately, I'm not Lily. I really like you, James, but I know your heart isn't with me."

"Rachael, I don't love Lily," he said, almost desperately, trying to convince both her and himself.

Rachael stamped her foot on the ground in frustration. "This is why we're failing, James!" she said loudly. "You keep denying what's smacking you straight between the eyes! You love her, and you're hurting both me and yourself by denying it! Don't you see, James?" She shook her head. "We don't have anything to say to each other. It's silence or kissing. And most of the time of silence you're staring at Lily."

"That is _not_ true," James said angrily. He hated himself at the moment. "But if you're saying it's over, fine. I don't want to keep arguing about this anyway." He knew he sounded immature, but he couldn't help it.

"Is that it?" Rachael asked incredulously. "Your _pride_? Is that all you care about? Besides flat-out lying about Lily, now _you_ have to be the one to break up with _me_, so you won't be the one getting dumped? Is this who you are, James? I'm beginning to see Lily's perception about you."

James couldn't help it. "What did she say about me?"

"She hates you, and I didn't believe her. I've never been more wrong in my life." Rachael took one last look at James before walking off.

"Rachael!" James shouted at her disappearing figure. But she didn't turn around.

"What is wrong with the world?" he muttered to himself, frustrated. He stood alone beside the lake for a while, Rachael's words still going through his mind. He suddenly remembered he was supposed to be helping his friends map the floors, and made his way toward the castle, kicking every tree close enough and hexing four first-years that got in his way. When he finally reached the castle doors, he realized he had no idea where they were.

James reached into his pocket and pulled out the two-way mirror. "Sirius Black," he said monotonously.

Sirius's face quickly came into the mirror, beaming at him. Immediately, though, he noticed something was wrong. "Prongs, you alright?'

"I'll tell you later," James said moodily. "Where are you?"

"We're in the right tower," Sirius said.

"Be right there," James said, cutting off any further conversation. He stuck the mirror back in his pocket and took off.

As Sirius had said, the three Marauders were mapping the tower when James arrived.

"Okay, what happened," Remus demanded as soon as he saw James, abandoning all work on the map.

James glared at Sirius, then turned to Remus. "Rachael and I broke up."

"I'm sorry," Peter said quietly.

"She accused me of being in love with Lily," James said loudly. Suddenly, in a fit of rage, he punched the wall.

"Prongs!" Sirius said, alarmed. "That's my field!"

"Shut up, Padfoot," Remus said. "James. Are you over Lily?"

James leaned against the wall, and he felt like crying. "No," he finally whispered.

"What did you tell her?" Remus asked.

"I told her that I didn't love Lily."

"So you lied to her."

"Moony, shut up!" James snapped loudly. "I've already gotten this speech from Rachael, I don't need to hear it again!"

"What are you going to do about Lily?" Peter asked cautiously.

James collapsed against the wall and let himself slide to the floor. "I don't know," he finally whispered. "I don't know."


	46. The Marauder's Map

A/N: First of all, I thank you all so much for your patience! I know I said I'd get this chapter up quicker, but with finals... I apologize sincerely. Good news, however, it's summer! And I'm going to be able to devote so much more time to writing. I've already got the next chapter half-way written :)

For all the fans of the Marauders' Map, this is the chapter. I couldn't find my HBP book (arrgh!) so some details of the apparition might be off. As for my feelings about this chapter, it's like another transition chapter and it's most definitely not my best, but I had fun writing it. And to compensate for the wait, it's very long.

3-Legged Dog: First of all, a huge thanks for sticking with me :) The break with Peter is coming, I have not forgotten about that, but it really starts up next chapter.

And last but certainly not least, the readers and reviewers: you all are so amazing. 4oo reviews! Wow! I really promise that the next chapter will be up sooner! A gimongous thank you to Hahukum Konn, Marauding Chick, butenschon1, windstar, Bri Leonard, araceli, living-is-easy-with-eyes-closed, CarmenElizabeth, Phanthom, miwako, Kendra-the hyper one, Padfoot2446, Young Prewett, maria, elise bentwin, raymond (thanks for all the awesome criticism!), Eclipses Shade, 3-Legged Dog, Seriously Moony (oh, you'll find out :)), Cappygal116, crewger, smileformin and RitaSkeeterGossip (who emailed in spite of an error that made her unable to review). Thanks so, so much!

One last note: for those of you who've read the book and understand it, there's a little allusion to Catcher in the Rye at the end of the chapter that actually holds a pretty important meaning. Feel free to shoot me an email if you have any questions.

* * *

_March - April, 1976_

* * *

The Marauders' Map

"So where would you like to go?" Peter asked, getting up and helping Lauren up.

"I don't know," Lauren said, laughing, brushing dirt off her jacket. "I think we've already been to everywhere, haven't we?"

"Dunno," Peter said, smiling. "Can you think of any place we haven't gone?"

"I'm not sure," Lauren grinned. "Oh, I know, the Shrieking Shack."

Peter worked hard to keep a look of horror off his face. "I'm not too particularly fond of that place," he said, half-stammering, hoping she didn't notice.

"Oh, well, that's alright," she shrugged. " Let's go back to Honeydukes, then. My stock of chocolate has run out by now."

"Great," Peter said, relieved. His hands had gone all sweaty. "I mean, not great that you're out of chocolate, but great that we're, er, going to Honeydukes."

Lauren looked at him, amused.

"Come on," Peter said, grinning. "My treat."

She laughed. "Fine. But next time it's on me."

"Deal," Peter said. The couple walked slowly to the candy store, which was all the way across Hogsmeade from where they were sitting. The warm spring air breezed easily, and the sun smiled brightly.

"Are we meeting your friends for lunch?" Lauren asked Peter.

Peter paused, and frowned. "Oh." He turned to her apologetically. "Yeah, but we don't have to if you don't want to. I realize it's kind of awkward…"

"With Rachael and Mary?" Lauren finished, grinning ruefully. "Yeah. I know."

"So d'you still want to go for lunch or not?" Peter asked.

"If it's alright with you, I'd rather not," Lauren said sadly. "I think your friends are truly great, but my love right now is with Mary and Rachael, and it would seem really disloyal to see Sirius or James, no matter how petty the occasion is."

Peter nodded. "I understand." He smiled at her. "We'll go somewhere else, and we'll have just as good a time."

"We'll have an even better time," Lauren smiled.

The two walked along and soon reached the doors of Honeydukes. The store was already crowded with many students. As Peter looked around the shop for chocolate Lauren loves, he spotted Remus and Faye walking along the selections as well.

"Remus!" Peter said, waving at his friend.

Remus saw him, and he and Faye came over. "Hey, Wormtail," Remus grinned. "How're thing with you and Lauren?"

Peter hated crowded shops. Someone pushed into him at that very moment, knocking the breath out of him. Once he regained speech, he dusted himself off. "Could you both do me a favor?" Peter asked.

"Of course," Faye said.

"What is it?" Remus asked.

"Could you tell James and Sirius that Lauren and I aren't going to be joining you for lunch?"

Remus frowned. "Is it because of Mary and Rachael?"

Peter nodded. "But don't remind them of that."

"I won't," Remus said, clapping Peter on the shoulder. "I hope you and Lauren have a good time together." He grinned. "And pick a good place to lunch."

Peter grinned back. "We will. Thanks, Moony."

"No problem," Remus said.

Peter weaved back through the massive crowd and found Lauren examining a cluster of lollipops. "Would you like one of these?" Peter asked jokingly, pointing to some blood lollipops.

"Gross," Lauren laughed.

"Well then, tell me what you'd like so I can buy it for you," Peter said, smiling.

"Simply chocolate would be nice," Lauren said.

"Only chocolate, nothing else?" Peter said, smiling.

"Yeah," Lauren said.

"Are you absolutely sure?" Peter asked teasingly.

"Yeah," Lauren said, laughing.

"Alright," Peter said. "Deal."

He paid for her chocolate and they walked out of the crowded shop, hand in hand. Peter flushed at this; he had never quite gotten used to holding hands with a girl.

"We're really shopped out now," Lauren laughed. "Thank you for the sugar snacks."

"Any time," Peter said.

They wandered around Hogsmeade, hand in hand, admiring the fresh new scenery that had sprung from the dead winter snow. There was silence between them, but not awkward silence as if they had nothing to say to each other, but the nice kind of silence where they could mutually, without words, admire the beauty of spring.

"Both Mary and Rachael are really hurt by James and Sirius," Lauren said suddenly.

"Yeah?" Peter said.

"Yeah," Lauren said. They walked farther along the path. "I don't know," she added. "Mary's sobbing all over the place, but Rachael's mere disappointment in James is harder to comfort." She smiled, rather sadly. "It's much harder to look at, for some reason."

Peter knew how she felt. Though Sirius's anger was more destructive, Remus's anger was always harder to bear. "I'm sorry," he said sadly.

"T-There's a bit more," Lauren said slowly.

Peter looked at her. "What is it?"

Lauren hesitated. They let go of each other's hands as Lauren wrung her hands nervously.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me," Peter said quietly. "I can handle it."

"The truth is that Mary was telling me to break up with you," Lauren said, so fast that Peter almost didn't catch what she was saying. Immediately, she looked a bit horrified. "Peter, I'm sorry, it's just that I really wanted to be honest with you…"

"It's okay," Peter said, forcing a smile. He kicked a stone on the ground all the same. "So are you going to?" He was too afraid to even look at her.

"Of course not," Lauren said quietly. "I think Mary worries that I'll get my heart broken, but I know, Peter, that you're not like that." She smiled at him. "I trust you."

The cold weight Peter had felt lifted almost immediately. He turned to her in shock. "Wow," he said nervously. "Thank you."

Lauren laughed. "There's nothing to thank. Just don't make me eat my words later on."

Peter smiled. "I won't." He turned red as she reached for his hand again.

He had always given anything to be like James and Sirius, but at the moment, he was quite alright with being Peter Pettigrew.

* * *

"We're almost done," Remus whispered excitedly, sketching on the piece of sacred parchment that they now worshipped as the map. "Are any of you tired?"

"Don't be stupid, Moony," James grinned widely. "So what if it's three in the morning? This is the last bit we have to map. We are so close to finishing the map. We are not stopping."

"I agree," Sirius said.

Peter stifled a yawn, but grinned excitedly. "Hurry up, Moony."

"Wormtail's anxious," James laughed.

They approached the last bit of the Astronomy Tower with a feeling of pure excitement. Sirius, James and Peter stared over Remus's shoulder as Remus sketched in the last few boundaries and circular walls. Then, the last lines were connected. Hogwarts in entirety was spreading out in front of them like never before.

"Gentlemen," Remus said with a wide grin. "The Marauder's Map."

They all erupted into cheers. At the moment, they wouldn't have cared if Filch was lurking right behind them.

"Moony, have you got the spell?" Sirius asked excitedly.

"Of course," Remus beamed. "Well, spells, actually. It's quite complicated but I've been researching it for weeks. It's finally time to put it to good use."

"Well hurry up and do it!" Peter said.

Remus drew his wand out from his pocket. With a magical gleam in his eyes, he murmured a few words and tapped the map gently. Immediately, dots began to appear on the page one by one, with tiny labeling above each dot. Remus whispered a few other incantations, and tapped the map a few more times. The labeled dots suddenly started to move around; it was like seeing miniscule ants crawl across a piece of parchment. Finally, four dots appeared clustered on the new astronomy tower they had just drawn, labeled Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew.

"This is fantastic," James breathed. "This is so…cool."

"Where's Filch?" Peter asked.

"Way to ruin a moment, Wormtail," Sirius said sarcastically, while examining the map. "I think he's on the second floor."

They all stared at their handiwork in awe. The school seemed to be so still, and yet they never realized just how many people were in motion at the same time.

"I have an idea," James said suddenly. "Why don't we put the passwords to all the secret entrances of the school? You know, in case we forget."

"You should be ashamed to call yourself a Marauder if you ever forget," Sirius said, aghast.

"Future children, Sirius, it's all for them," James said insistently.

Remus rolled his eyes.

"You can't be serious," Sirius said. "This stuff again?"

"Hey, you backed me on this before," James said defensively.

"It's not a terrible idea," Remus said finally.

"Can you do it?" Peter asked.

"Of course," Remus grinned. "The amount of research I did on this…"

He took out the quill he had been drawing with and wrote in some of the passwords they had used. "How d'you spell 'Dissendium'?" he asked James.

"Don't ask me," James shrugged.

Remus groaned and scribbled something on the parchment. "This better be right," he muttered.

Then, he took out his wand again and again tapped the parchment while muttering a spell. "There," he said finally. "The password will appear in a speech bubble when one of us approaches the passageway."

"Brilliant," James beamed.

"How's about we try it out?" Sirius said, a mischievous smile on his face. "With a trip out of the school?"

James nodded eagerly, but Remus shook his head. "Sorry, guys." As if rehearsed, he let out a big yawn. "I need to turn in for the night. I'm exhausted." Seeing the disappointed looks on their faces, he grinned a bit. "You can go without me."

"No," Sirius said firmly. "That's not happening."

"Good," Remus smiled. "So I guess we can all go to bed now. Sleep is good, you know."

"Yes, mother," Sirius, James and Peter chorused.

Remus rolled his eyes. "But we can still use the map to figure out any potential dangers as we head back up to the dorm, so in a way, we can definitely put it on a test run."

"Good idea," James said enthusiastically.

They made their way back up to the common room. Though they experienced no trouble on the way, it was still a moment for the marauders when they could look at the map and see that they would no longer have to worry about Snape's greasy nose trailing them wherever they went.

* * *

"I was thinking," James said carefully, biting into a piece of bacon.

"You were?" Sirius said, shocked. "Ladies and gentlemen! Prongs has a brain!"

"Shut it, Padfoot," James said, laughing.

"Just being obnoxious," Sirius said, biting into a piece of bacon as well. "It's part of my job."

"Shut it, Padfoot," Remus said. "Go on, Prongs."

"I was thinking," James started again, swallowing his bacon. "I was thinking about when we were putting on the passwords for our different secret passages last night." He paused. "Maybe we should also put a general password on the map itself, so only we can read it, and so that no one else can read it, you know? As a protection."

"What, is this for future children too?" Sirius said sarcastically.

"I actually think it's a good idea," Peter said slowly.

"I agree," Remus said, beginning to grin widely. "Actually, it's a fantastic idea. I would hate the map to fall into the wrong hands."

"Like Snape," Peter said.

"Like Snape," Remus nodded. "A password could be the best way to prevent them from reading the map."

"Fine," Sirius said shrugging. "We might as well add in insults for anyone who doesn't know the password as well."

"That's an even better idea!" James said, lighting up.

"You can't be serious," Sirius said, choking on his bacon. He regained his breath. "I was being sarcastic."

"But I_ am_ serious," James grinned. "How much fun would that be?"

"I actually agree with James," Remus laughed. "Imagine someone's face when they shout out a false password and an insult is staring them in the face."

Sirius sniggered. "Alright, I'm a believer."

"We have a free period after breakfast," Peter said. "We can start then."

"Perfect," James beamed.

They headed back up to the common room after breakfast and sat down in a circle on the common room floor. After thinking for a while, Remus sighed. "It's no use. The spell is too complicated. I do know how to put a password on the map, however, if we're going to start there."

"Sure," James shrugged. "That's important."

"Great," Remus nodded. Then he frowned. "What's our password?"

"How about 'the marauders'?" Peter suggested.

"It's too short," James said. "Besides, almost everyone knows what we call ourselves. It would be too easy to guess."

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," Sirius said, a gleam in his eye.

"We know you are," James said sarcastically. "Since when have you been an angel?"

"No," Sirius said, brushing the comment away. "That's going to be our password."

His three friends stared at him.

"I like it," Remus said finally, breaking into a grin. "It defines us, don't you think?"

"Moony, you're in a really agreeable mood today," James laughed.

"Oh, shut it, Prongs," Remus said, though he laughed as well.

"It's a good password," Peter nodded. "Shouldn't we also have a password to clear the map again?"

"Oh, good point," Remus said thoughtfully. "Any ideas?"

"How about, 'mischief managed'?" James suggested.

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "I like it."

"It would seem then we are only using the map for mischief," Remus said, frowning slightly.

"Uh, because we are," James responded.

"I like it too," Peter shrugged.

"Oh, alright," Remus said. He took the parchment in his left hand, and tapped it with his wand, muttering spells. James heard him say in the process their two new passwords, and became increasingly excited.

"It's done," Remus finally said.

"Where can we find the information for the insults, then?" Sirius asked.

Remus fell silent. Finally, his face lit up. "What does everyone say to a trip to the Room of Requirement?"

* * *

For the next couple of weeks, the boys spent their free time in the Room of Requirement. Getting there after dark was much easier than before. Because they could no longer all fit under the invisibility cloak, the map proved a valuable asset. Remus was the one that mostly researched the subject. Peter tried to help, but sometimes James and Sirius would draw him in to goofing around.

However, some of their time was cut short. The Marauders were all old enough at this point to take their apparition tests, and therefore were spending time taking the extra classes in Hogsmeade.

"I hate apparition," Sirius growled one morning. "I hate Twycross. I hate his damn 'D's. Bloody hell," he said, slamming his hand against his bedpost.

"Get up, Padfoot," James said sleepily. "We have those extra lessons, remember?"

"Bloody hell," Sirius muttered again. He had not managed to apparate yet, just because he hadn't been trying at all. James, however, had managed to apparate twice by now, though he was nowhere near proficiency as Lily, who had done it at least five times.

"Sirius, James, let's go," Remus called, sticking his head into the room. "We're going to be late!"

"How d'you always get up on time," Sirius muttered grumpily. "What are you, Mr. rise and shine?"

"Quite," Remus said sarcastically. "Just hurry up. Me and Peter will meet you guys in Hogsmeade."

With that, he disappeared.

"What, no breakfast?" Sirius called after him.

"Moony is probably right," James said, pulling himself out of bed. He let out a huge yawn. "Let's go, Padfoot."

"I hate apparition," Sirius groaned again.

Ten minutes later, the two boys were down in Hogsmeade with Remus and Peter. The whole class looked sleepy.

"Today, you will try apparating to Scrivenshaft's," Twycross said monotonously. "Remember the three D's, and focus hard. Any questions?"

"Why must classes be this early?" Sirius called out.

Everyone laughed except Lily, who pursed her lips in disapproval.

Twycross ignored Sirius. "Let's go, everyone."

In groups at a time, they tried apparating to Scrivenshaft's. Lily had no problems. She did it successfully almost every time. Remus achieved apparition three times, while James and Sirius goofed around too much to try. Peter's face was scrunched in concentration, but he could not do it either. Finally, James and Sirius calmed down, and James managed to apparate. Sirius splinched himself twice, but did not manage to fully apparate.

"That was a washout," Sirius moaned after the lesson was over.

"You weren't trying hard enough," Remus said simply. "Next lesson, if I have to, I'll put a barrier between you and Prongs."

"For what?" James said innocently.

Remus shot him a glare. "Lay off the goofing around, will you?" he snapped. "If Sirius wants to pass his test, he needs to take this seriously. Grow up, you two. Sirius can do it if he tried hard enough, but you're making it impossible. We're in a war, James. If Sirius doesn't learn to apparate soon, then there's that much more of a chance he'll be killed, no matter how good his spellwork is. You can't just try to doge and outrun spells forever."

This sobered up James and Sirius, who immediately fell silent. Remus then turned to Peter to attempt to explain the three D's again.

That night, they returned to working on their map. James and Sirius were extraordinarily helpful. James felt a bit embarrassed. He knew that Remus was right in saying what he said, but he didn't want to grow up. He wanted to remain young and carefree, but he knew that was impossible. He shot a look at Sirius, who was poring over a book on a nearby couch. Sirius looked so much older than when James had first persisted to be his friend on the first day of school. His eyes were darker, and he was bigger in almost every way. His silhouette showed someone battered by the storm, beaten by life, weathered by experience. Both Sirius and Remus had been through so much.

"I think I've got it," Remus said excitedly, jolting James out of his train of thought.

"You have?" Peter said excitedly. He, Sirius and James ran over to Remus.

"I think so," Remus nodded. He held out the map in front of them, and took a deep breath. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he said clearly.

Instantly, the ink lines that they had slaved over for months appeared like spider webs, working their black lines across the page. As soon as everything appeared, Remus said, "Mischief managed." Instantly, the map cleared itself.

"Now watch this," Remus said, grinning. "I, Remus Lupin, demand to know your secrets. Reveal them to me now!"

The map instantly began to lace with ink again. When the final message appeared, Sirius let out a shout of laughter.

Messr. Moony is shocked at what his former intelligent self had become. If this is what is to become of himself, maybe he should just die now and save his future idiot self the embarrassment.  
Messr. Prongs would like to add his astonishment. What a shame to forget something so vital. Don't call yourself a marauder after this; it hurts too much.  
Messr. Wormtail wonders if Remus's brain deteriorated, or he has been hit by an extremely strong forgetfulness charm.  
Messr. Padfoot thinks that it's charming to attempt to get past the password, but just pathetic when you're a marauder yourself.

"This is brilliant!" James beamed.

"I second that," Peter said in awe. "Wow."

"This, gentlemen, is our greatest piece of work by far," Remus said proudly.

"Too bad we only have maybe three months to use it," Peter said.

"Two months is plenty," Sirius beamed. "Besides, think of this. We have all next year to do it."

"True," James nodded.

"We've created something so brilliant that I can only marvel at our intelligence," Sirius said, grinning.

"I think you mean Moony's intelligence," James laughed. "He did most of the research."

"I'll give him that," Sirius shrugged.

"You realize that we're pretty much invincible now, right?" Peter breathed.

"Sounds great to me," James grinned. "Though I didn't mind the detentions. I must have done over a hundred of them."

"Speak for yourself," Remus laughed.

"You also realize what this means, right?" Sirius said.

"What?" Remus asked.

"We can take our full-moon explorations inside the castle now."

Remus frowned. "I'm not sure that would be a great idea, Sirius."

"Why not?" James and Sirius asked at the same time. "I think it would be wicked," James added.

"Did you think of all the dangers involved?" Remus frowned.

"Yeah," Sirius shrugged. "But we'll have the map. Besides, it'll be useless in Hogsmeade. We'll be able to see the empty corridors inside the castle."

Remus still looked unconvinced.

"Come on, Moony," Peter said lightly. "Lighten up."

Looking somewhat uncertain, Remus shrugged. "Oh, alright," he said finally.

The other three cheered, but Remus only celebrated with a half-filled heart. He didn't want something to go wrong.

* * *

"I love this map," James whispered excitedly. "I love this map."

"Normally, I would tell you to shut up, but I agree with you fully," Sirius whispered.

"It's the best thing ever," Peter nodded.

The three boys were sneaking after McGonagall on one of Remus's final full moons. It was the last day of March. The bad news was that the apparition tests had been pushed back two weeks due to some inspection issues and security issues because of the war, so that they were now on the first of April, which was horrible for the Marauders because their test would be right after a full moon day. Sirius was worried because he had not managed to apparate fully yet, and Peter had managed splinching just once. James and Remus were only worried because they feared exhaustion from the adventure.

But now was not the time to worry. James held the map tightly in front of them as they made their way to the Whomping willow. Without the invisibility cloak, they risked being caught, but now with the map that was the last worry on their minds.

As they had done so many times before, they stealthily made their way to the willow. After McGonagall was gone for good, Peter transformed into a rat and darted through the lashing branches. After the branches stood still, Sirius and James slid down into the hole with Peter. They ran stealthily along the tunnel and arrived at the house where Remus was waiting for them.

"You alright?" he asked the three.

"Fine," James breathed. "How much time?"

"I'd say ten minutes," Remus said, glancing up at the sky.

The four friends planned out their adventure into Hogwarts during those ten minutes. Suddenly, Remus's body became rigid.

"Transform," James ordered.

Sirius took the map and held it between his teeth. Then, he quickly transformed into a dog. James and Peter transformed as well. After a couple of tense minutes with bulging and howling, Moony the wolf was born once more.

Immediately Moony lunged at Padfoot. Seeing this, Prongs jumped in between the two of them and started fighting with the wolf. In intervals, Padfoot and Prongs would exchange the ownership of the map and the duty of fighting the wolf. After about an hour, Remus the wolf sat down and shook his head. Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail grinned toothily at one another. Remus was back.

Padfoot led the way, beckoning to the others to follow him into the tunnel. Moony pranced happily along with Wormtail. Prongs brought up the rear, cornering Moony should the wolf come back. James never realized how small the tunnel was in relation to his stag body and winced every time his antlers scraped against the ceiling.

The four animals made their way onto the school grounds after Wormtail froze the tree. Moony took in a breath of fresh air, but determinedly looked away from the moon. He knew what had happened the last time he looked at his greatest fear.

They snuck in from a side door they had discovered. The castle was huge, even to these animals, who, for the most part, were larger than their human forms. They pranced along steadily, Sirius occasionally checking the map for any dangers.

James threw Sirius a puzzled look as if to ask where they were going. Sirius checked the map, then pawed the floor, pointing to the direction of the kitchen. Moony grinned toothily. Food. Most of the house elves would be sleeping at the moment, though they never really figured out where they slept.

Arriving in front of the portrait, Padfoot raised one paw and tickled the pear with fur on the back of his paw. The pear giggled, and the portrait immediately swung open. The four friends leaped inside. Though there were no bustling house-elves at their service, there were leftover éclairs on the counters. Prongs knocked some of the éclairs off with his antlers and ate off the floor. Padfoot caught one with his paw and so did Moony. Wormtail scuttled up onto the counter and munched on the éclairs. After the four friends were full, they promptly exited the kitchen.

Where to now? Prongs made a face at Padfoot. Padfoot shrugged. Wormtail ran up to then and squeaked, pointing back outside. He was really saying that they should return to the Shrieking Shack, but both Padfoot and Prongs misinterpreted that as the forbidden forest.

As they began to head back out of the castle again, Padfoot checked the map and immediately panicked. Four Hufflepuff girls that were most definitely not prefects were heading their way, presumably sneaking around the castle in the middle of the night. Padfoot signaled to Prongs that there were people headed their way. Prongs panicked as well. Suddenly, Padfoot had an idea. He turned to Wormtail and growled while pointing in the direction of the girls. Wormtail squeaked, and immediately ran in that direction. Padfoot, Moony and Prongs waited tensely for a few moments. Then, they heard a bunch of high-pitched screams. Padfoot saw the four girls scuttling away on the map.

Prongs let out a sigh of relief. If the girls had gotten close enough, Moony would have gotten a scent of them, and the werewolf would have come back. Part of James was extremely angry at the four girls, but a part of his knew that the Marauders, years back, had done the exact same thing.

Wormtail returned triumphantly and the four animals headed outside in the direction of the forbidden forest. Once Wormtail realized where they were heading, he began squeaking in protest, but Padfoot swatted him with his paw. Whimpering, Wormtail followed his friends reluctantly into the forest.

Prongs relaxed a bit as they pranced a bit into the forest. They could not see extremely well, but that did mean that Moony was shielded and could not look up to see the moon. Moony was excited as well, and started play-wrestling with Prongs. Prongs eagerly took up the challenge and the two playfully lunged at each other for a while. Prongs always marveled at the extreme amount of pent-up energy Moony had on full-moon nights as opposed to the mellow Remus that he had become friends with.

Prongs was soon tired, and Padfoot jumped in to continue, after tossing the map to Prongs. They had learned long ago not to underestimate Moony's power and energy. Wormtail ran around squeaking, watching the playful friends wrestle with each other.

"What's goin' on out there?" a voice suddenly spoke out. "Who's out there?"

James instinctively froze and swore loudly in his brain. Hagrid shouldn't be out here! They had to get Remus out of here before he smelled human flesh. Padfoot had tensed at this too, and stared, horrified, at Prongs. With his antlers, Prongs motioned toward a deeper part of the forest, now terrified at what could happen if Hagrid got too close.

Padfoot gave Prongs a little nod. Moony was caught up in the moment and did not notice anything was wrong. Padfoot tried to motion to Moony to move farther into the forest, but Moony simply thought Sirius was playing a new game, and lunged playfully again at Padfoot. Prongs ran toward the two in panic but just as he got there, Moony's eyes seemed to widen, and Prongs immediately sensed trouble.

Suddenly, Moony snarled viciously and tried to lunge past Padfoot. Even as Padfoot jumped in front of Moony to block his way, he had a sinking feeling in his stomach. Hagrid's scent was now in range. The werewolf was back.

Padfoot and Prongs together started to drag Moony away from the oncoming Hagrid, but they could hear Hagrid becoming closer and closer. Prongs, in his frenzy, dropped the map. Though he was panicking as well, Peter squeaked and ran into the scene, trying to drag the map away with his mouse's body.

Snarling, Moony tried once again to lunge past the stag and the dog, and raised his head to let out a howl. Sensing this, Padfoot immediately knocked Moony hard on the head with a paw. Moony growled, but his howl was stifled. Hagrid did not need to hear a werewolf in the forest now.

"Who's out there?" Hagrid said again, louder than before. They could hear his footsteps clomping through the bushes and James cursed himself for not having brought them further into the forest before fooling around.

Suddenly, James saw Padfoot thrown in the air, and his heart froze. Just like the time in Hogsmeade, Padfoot did not move once he was on the ground. Only this time, Hagrid was getting closer, and James did not have a choice except to drag the snarling Moony away, leaving Padfoot behind. Both James and Peter knew that it would be too risky for Peter to turn back into human form while moony was so close.

It was not easy work dragging the werewolf along, as the woods were less open than the streets of Hogsmeade, and Prongs was already exhausted from the play-wrestling. And this time, it seemed that Moony had thrown Padfoot with his mouth, so that deep liquid could be seem dangling on the dark furs of Padfoot's body. Moony lunged again at Prongs, and Prongs held him back with his antlers. Growling, Moony sank his claws straight into Prong's face and slashed across it.

Prongs was too preoccupied to even notice the pain. He used his antlers to tackle Remus back, and rammed it into Moony's leg to keep from moving forward. There was a howl of pain and James heard something crack. Moony howled in pain again, but once again tried to lunge past James. James once again held Moony back using his antlers, and rammed it harder into Remus's body. Finally, Remus fell on the ground, still snarling.

James swore inside his head over and over again as he dragged Remus with all his might deeper into the forest. Moony attempted time and time again to lunge past Prongs, but it seemed like one leg was broken. James was riddled with shame, but he knew that he needed to get Moony out of sight. Worries of Padfoot and Wormtail were pushed out. His muscles ached and he was bleeding in certain parts of his body, but he dragged Moony on, swatting away the protests, praying and praying that Hagrid would not see them.

"What's this?" Hagrid suddenly boomed. Prongs froze in horror. "A dog in the middle o'the forest? Where did you come from?"

Padfoot lay there, unconscious, while Wormtail ran around in horror, trying to drag the map out of sight.

"Don' worry," Hagrid said after bending to examine the dog. "I'll be righ' back, gonna get a couple o' bandages and me umbrella." With that, he tromped quickly out of the forest. His footsteps echoed firmly on the cool earth.

Prongs wanted to go back and help Padfoot, but he knew that keeping Moony away from Hagrid when he came back would be more important. But then James realized that Hagrid might take Sirius back to the hut to care for him, and he panicked yet again. What if Padfoot woke up in the middle of Hagrid caring for him and accidentally turned back into a human?

Then, as if by absolute miracle, Prongs saw through the dark a large black dog crawling toward him, dragging his body along on the ground, defeated but alive. Behind him ran a rat, dragging the Marauder's map along. The cool night breeze threatened to whip the map away, but Wormtail's paw was firmly placed upon it.

Prongs wearily but concernedly looked at Padfoot, who was so weak he couldn't stand. The stabbing pain on James's face finally registered, but he shook it off. They needed to go farther into the forest…Hagrid would be back any time now…

Seeing that Padfoot was in no position to help him, Prongs started dragging the crippled Moony deeper into the forest, hoping to sooner or later find a way out. Wormtail squeaked and dragged the map along, while Padfoot, using all his strength, dragged himself along. Prongs considered it a miracle that Padfoot was even moving.

The four animals dragged along. James heard Hagrid's puzzled exclamations, but did not stop to listen closely. They had to find a way out… they had to… Prongs could barely see in front of him, he was so tired…he felt Moony's protesting bites but they did not register…all they had to do was make it back to the tree…

* * *

"What happened?" Remus demanded, attempting to get up.

"Lie back down," James said firmly. "Don't hurt yourself anymore."

"Me, hurt?" Remus said incredulously, though lying back down. "Look at Sirius and yourself!"

James shrugged off the comment, but in reality, the souvenirs of the night clearly showed on him and Sirius. They had made it back to the shack an hour before sunlight. Moony was back to Remus again after they arrived at the shack, but James was still wary because of the blood that was on Sirius and himself. James hoped that the wolf wouldn't come back. None of them had the strength to handle it. Luckily, Moony stayed Remus.

"Nah, don't worry about it," Sirius said, grinning. "It's all part of the job."

"Of what?" Remus asked.

"Being your friend," Sirius laughed. James and Peter laughed as well.

"Honestly," Remus sighed. "How can you be so cheerful when you look…like this?"

Across James's face was a huge gash that ran from his left ear to the top of his mouth. Thankfully it wasn't very deep, but it was definitely visible. James also had quite a few bruises, but that didn't amount to what Sirius had. Sirius had three fractured bones in total, and one broken bone. There were scratches all on his body from head to toe.

"We're fine," James shrugged. "My scar's fading, thankfully Madam Pomfrey doesn't ask too many questions. I just told her that me and Sirius tripped."

"Over each other," Remus said, suppressing a grin.

"Anyway, she fixed my broken bones up in a jiffy, and by the looks of it she fixed yours too," Sirius shrugged. "So all's good."

Remus sighed. "Yeah, well, mending broken bones still leaves those spots extremely sore, but I shouldn't talk. I only had one broken bone." He shot a look at Sirius. "I can't possibly imagine how your insides are feeling."

Sirius shrugged.

"How's the map?" Remus asked suddenly, frowning.

"Fine," Peter said.

"Wormtail took care of it," Sirius said. "He dragged it along using his entire rat body." Peter flushed.

"Anyway," James said. "Are you up for the apparition tests today? That is, if you're going."

Remus shot straight up in bed this time. "I forgot all about those," he said, moaning. "What am I going to do?"

"You don't have to take it today," Peter shrugged. "There's always summertime. That's probably when I'm going to actually have a chance of passing it. I have no chance today."

"Maybe," Remus sighed. "I'm sorry, mates. I don't think any of us are in a brilliant position to pass that test today."

"But we'll take it anyway," James said bracingly. "Well, that is, me, Padfoot and Wormtail are. You should stay in bed."

"Me, stay in bed," Remus scoffed. "It should be the three of you."

"We're fine," Sirius said, somewhat reassuringly.

"Actually, we have to get out of here," James said, looking at the clock on the wall. "I think the tests begin soon. Ask Madam Pomfrey if you can go, alright?"

"Alright," Remus said.

Ten minutes later, Sirius, Peter and James showed up in Hogsmeade feeling quite unprepared for the test that they were about to take. Peter spotted Lauren and went over to say hello, while James and Sirius avoided the gazes of Mary and Rachael. Peter returned to his other two friends beaming, and almost forgot about the test ahead.

"Hey!" a voice suddenly called. The three friends turned and saw Remus walking toward them, smiling, Faye beside him. She was looking intently at him and his bruises, but Remus put on an air of such strength that she decided not to ask him about it at the moment. Finally, she did, and he told her that he simply tripped.

"Moony!" Sirius roared, grinning. "Pomfrey agreed?"

"I had to beg her, practically," Remus laughed. "I told her that this was one of my only chances and that I had been building up to this moment for weeks. But finally she gave in. Has it started yet?"

"Nope," Peter said. "But I think it's about to."

"Good day, everyone," said the monotonous voice of Twycross.

"Yup. It's starting," Sirius said, stifling a yawn.

Behind Twycross was an examiner that looked even older than Twycross. He never offered his name, but simply stood in a section of Hogsmeade and drew a line on the cobblestone ground with his wand.

"When I call your name," the examiner said, "you will step up to this line. Your instructor will be at the other end of Hogsmeade near the Shrieking Shack. You will apparate to there. I will be here to examine if anything is left behind, and if your instructor confirms of a good arrival, you will be given your license."

Twycross bowed, stepped, and apparated out of sight.

"Angy, Nora," the examiner called.

Sirius got a slight jolt in his stomach as he watched the pretty blonde, his former girlfriend, step up to the line. Mostly, he was worried for himself. His turn would be coming up soon.

As soon as Nora was gone, the examiner made a note on a clipboard and sent green sparks into the air. David Allor went after Nora. Then, "Black, Sirius," the examiner called.

James patted Sirius on the back and said "good luck" as Sirius stepped up to the line.

_Three D's, three D's… what were they again? _Sirius thought as he stood there. "Whenever you're ready," the examiner said, not unkindly.

_Oh yeah, deliberation, determination and, er, desperation? What? Shit. How am I supposed to pass this test? _ Sirius swore under his breath, closed his eyes, focused on the Shrieking Shack and prepared to step into his doom.

He immediately felt the pressure come in at him from all sides, but didn't feel immense pain as he did when he splinched himself. Compression became more compressed until… Sirius opened his eyes. He had indeed apparated… but not to the Shrieking Shack. He swore loudly. He could see the Shrieking Shack ahead of him. He was only off by a couple hundred feet.

Sorely, he walked up the hill to the Shack, where Nora and David were waiting for the others to finish their tests. Twycross looked at him as he approached, and gave him a look that had a hint of pity. "I am very sorry, Mr. Black," he said as Sirius came to a stop in front of him. "But if you are off by more than fifty feet we cannot let you pass the test."

"Whatever," Sirius grumbled.

He could only watch as Twycross sent red sparks into the air, and sat down on the ground, both exhausted and annoyed. In his head, he knew all along that he wasn't going to pass the test, but the reality of it hit him so much worse. He had failed. Sure, the failure wasn't huge, but still, Sirius felt like throwing up.

More kids apparated straight to the Shrieking Shack. Some were off by a little, some were off by a lot, and some arrived with half an arm. Sirius rolled his eyes as picture-perfect Evans arrived gracefully on the spot, and he felt happier as he saw Marcella arrive on the spot with no problem.

"Hey Evans," Sirius said as they sat near him. Lily gave him a cold look. "Hi, Marci," Sirius grinned. Marcella laughed and waved back.

Finally, Sirius really perked up as Remus appeared on the testing site.

"Pass," Twycross said to him as he faced Twycross, grinning. Remus saw Twycross send up green sparks.

"Padfoot, are you alright?" Remus asked cautiously, coming up to the sulking Sirius.

"Fine," Sirius grumbled. "Alright, I'm not fine, Moony," he said finally after long disbelieving stares from Remus. "I feel like crap."

"Don't worry about it," Remus said. "By the looks of it, Wormtail didn't pass either."

Sirius turned around and saw Wormtail at the shack with half of his body still intact.

"Ouch," Remus grimaced. The two watched as Twycross descended upon Peter. After the purple smoke had passed, Peter seemed on the verge of tears as Twycross sent red sparks into the air, but recovered slightly when Lauren came over to talk to him. She herself had not passed, by a couple hundred feet, just like Sirius.

"Potter's the only one left, eh?" Marcella spoke up.

Remus and Sirius turned to the two girls in surprise, then shrugged. "I guess," Sirius said. "I hope he passes."

"Well not really," Remus said, frowning a bit. "Faye's still in line."

"Eh," Lily said, waving her hand away. "She'll pass. She's a pro at this."

Peter joined them at this point, and Remus started in on words of encouragement. Lily had noticed Remus and Sirius's bruised state and was going to ask Sirius about it, but he ignored her, looking anxiously at the Shack. Sirius was watching the site carefully when James appeared out of thin air, grinning.

"Pass," Twycross said, and shot green sparks into the air.

Smiling widely, James made his way over to the group. Lily made to stand up and leave, but Marcella held her back down.

"Congrats, mate," Sirius said, grinning. "If I didn't pass it, it's good you did."

"Congratulations, James," Marcella said as he arrived. She suddenly frowned, noticing his bruises and scars. "What happened to you?"

James reached up instinctively to touch the scar on his face. "Oh, nothing," he said as coolly as possible. "We were in another duel with Snivelly. Won, of course." Sirius and Remus nodded at the cover-up story.

"Another duel?" Lily said, teeth clenched. "You are so lucky I wasn't there, you would have landed yourselves in a bloody lot of detentions."

"Yes, of course we're already tired of you, Evans. If you were there, maybe you would've been mistaken for his royal Greasiness himself," James said sardonically.

"The next time I catch you, Potter," Lily snarled.

"You'll do what?" James said mockingly. "Curse me? I'm quivering, Evans."

"Please, you two," Marcella said firmly. "Stop it."

Lily glared at James, who glared right back. Their fight was interrupted by the arrival of Faye on the scene who was beaming as Twycross sent green sparks into the air. "I passed!" she squealed loudly, grinning.

"Congratulations," Remus said, standing up to hug her. She laughed as they exchanged a quick kiss. "You were great," he grinned.

"Oh, stop it," Faye said, smiling. "You passed too."

"Good job, Faye," Marcella said, smiling up at her friend.

"Thanks," Faye said. She suddenly noticed the tense mood around the area where her friends were sitting. "What's wrong?" she asked, frowning.

"Nothing," Lily said with difficulty. "It's simply them fighting in the halls again. And they have all those scars from it."

"I thought you got those scars when you tripped," Faye frowned, turning to Remus.

"I did," Remus said as confidently as possible. "While I was trying to break up the fight."

"Oh," Faye nodded. "Right."

Twycross announced then that everybody was done with testing and that they were free now to head back to the castle. There was a collective cheer. Even those that passed the test were not too fond of the long waiting that they had gone through.

While Sirius waved goodbye to the girls and headed back to the common room with his friends, he couldn't help but feel a sinking sensation in his stomach. With a pained heart he thought back to what Remus had said earlier. As much as he didn't want to admit it, Sirius knew Remus was right, and if he didn't get his act together and concentrate on passing apparition, it would be one step closer to death in the inevitable war. And he didn't want to die. He wanted to stay alive for all he was fighting for, wanted to live nobly for the cause he was dying for.


	47. Unexpected Surprises

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry this update took so long. I had it ready about a week ago, but my computer hates me. Anyway, I've also been working on a new prologue, since I never really liked the Lily prologue, no matter how much I tweaked it. Expect tons of updates this summer!

As for this chapter, it is a set-up chapter, but I did take some of the readers' advice and have tried to include more descriptions into my story. I think it was getting pushed out by the dialogue, and I'm glad some of you pointed that out. Thanks so much! I like this chapter, though it's shorter than the ones I've been writing lately, and I hope you all like it too.

And I would not be so encouraged to write if it wasn't for my wooonderful readers and reviewers! Thanks so much to Kendra-they hyper one (who helped me spot out a typo. Thanks so much!), padfoot'smoon, Nietta, elise bentwin, living-is-easy-with-eyes-closed, brona, windstar, 3-Legged Dog, DSK, Kates Master, Padfoot2246, Young Prewett, Cappygal116, miwako, RitaSkeeterGossip, and Seriously Moony! You. Guys. Rock.

And a special thanks to Felicia, whose email seriously brightened my day. Thanks so much!

* * *

_ May - August, 1976_

* * *

Unexpected Surprises

The summer had come for the students at Hogwarts as easily as spring left them. It seemed just days ago that the brisk, cold air would whip them in the face as they walked around Hogsmeade. But those inside the castle had become a bit wary. It was considered a safe haven to everybody, and though everybody wanted to be re-united with their families, they knew that they would be safe wherever Dumbledore was. It seemed that every year as they came back to school another classmate would be dead.

Some of course, did want to leave, but Sirius was caught between happiness and sadness. He knew he was welcome at the Potters', but it wasn't the same. And he hated trespassing on their hospitality. But he did fell a sort of savage pleasure that those in the House of Black did not have anyone to pick on anymore. That, however, was not the main worry on his mind.

"I can't believe it," James groaned, leaning back on the comfortable chair he was sitting lazily on. "The sixth year is almost over!"

"Our life at Hogwarts is almost over," Remus said. "One more year."

"Our final year," Peter said sadly.

"I just need to pass that bloody apparition test," Sirius said through gritted teeth. He clenched his fists, fingernail sinking into his palms.

"You'll be fine," Remus said reassuringly, leaning back to lie on the common room floor. "You were only off by a couple hundred feet, you know."

"Unlike me," Peter said from above Remus in his chair. He looked at Sirius with a sort of frown on his face, as if he had believed Sirius to be something near undefeatable before the apparition test. "I was sure you would pass, Padfoot."

"Yeah, well," Sirius said moodily. He too was on the floor, and he glared off at nothing in particular.

"You'll be fine too, Wormtail," James shrugged.

"Easy for you to say," Peter sighed. "You and Remus have already passed your tests."

"Honestly, I wasn't too confident about it," Remus said quietly.

"Me neither," James nodded. "I was more surprised than anything else when Twycross passed me."

"On the bright side, you and Peter can take extra lessons over the summer and take the test again together," Remus said encouragingly to Sirius.

"Yay," Sirius said sarcastically. It was a good thing that Peter didn't notice his tone.

"Well, changing subject," James said, attempting to sound more cheerful. "No final exams to worry about this year."

"Yes, but we must study for our N.E.W.T.'s," Remus said.

"Spoilsport," Sirius scowled.

"I'm just saying," Remus said, holding up his hands. "Those exams are extremely important to-"

"Everything," James finished with a grin. "We know, Moony."

"So promise me you'll take them seriously?" Remus said earnestly.

"Of course," Sirius said dryly. Unlike Peter, Remus noticed the sarcasm in his tone and frowned, opening his mouth to speak.

"We will," James cut in hastily. "We promise. And we'll help Peter pass too."

Peter smiled appreciatively. It was good knowing he had friends to count on.

"We're not going to have another full moon night until next year," Sirius sighed. "I miss those days." He shot a look at Remus. "I'm only joking, Moony."

"Yeah," Remus said, offering a grin.

"But you know what we should do again? Explore inside the castle some more," Sirius said lazily.

"No!" Remus said so loudly that the whole common room turned to stare at them.

"Why?" Sirius frowned.

Remus narrowed his eyes dangerously. "Don't you remember?" he said more quietly but icily. "Those four Hufflepuffs! We could have murdered them!"

"You were alright with the idea to begin with," Sirius said slowly.

Remus shook his head. "I never was. I thought it was too risky, but I don't know what I was thinking that day, not saying that to you all." Remus took a deep breath, but his heart pained a bit. He knew what had kept him from arguing. He wasn't brave enough. He always knew he was a bit of a coward around Sirius and James. He didn't know why. Perhaps he thought he owed them so much that he never did tell them to stop hexing Snape or to break rules into pieces. Even more, he had done it with them. But Remus felt as if he needed to say what was on his mind this time. Like the time with Snape, he would not be held responsible for the murder of students inside his own haven.

"It's too risky," Remus repeated firmly. "I will not do that ever again. The school grounds are considerably less dangerous, but no more adventures inside the school."

"Alright," Sirius said, a bit taken aback.

"That's fine with me," Peter said.

Remus was relieved to see no looks of disappointment on their faces.

The bell rang and it was time to go to their next class. James sighed inwardly. Their last free period of the year had just passed them by, and through the glorious sunshine he could see the distant greenhouses out the window, their second to last class of the year.

"Nostalgia?" Remus grinned, picking himself up from the floor.

"I remember when we were all innocent little tykes," Sirius sighed, grinning.

Peter laughed.

They made it through the hallway, where crowds of students were chatting gaily about the day's events. Remus saw that the groups were tighter-knit than before and realized that it was probably because of the war.

As they reached the front doors the heat was rather sweltering. It was an extremely hot day, and James seriously felt like diving in the lake instead of going to the undoubtedly stuffy greenhouses that smelled of soot. The group arrived at a ledge the was a sort of mini-cliff overhanging the lake. It wasn't high at all, but James enjoyed looking down into the murky waters.

"Hey, there's Lily and Marci," Remus said, turning and waving at the two girls. They waved back. James and Sirius immediately turned around and caught sight of them. James ran his hand through his hair while Sirius struck a sort of a weird pose.

Remus turned back to them in amusement. "You two really are the two biggest idiots I have ever seen."

Peter snickered.

"I really don't feel like going to Herbology," Sirius groaned, coming out of his pose.

"I know what you mean," James said, running his hand through his hair again. "How's a dip in the lake sound?"

"Now?" Remus said, aghast. "We're going to miss Herbology!"

"Exactly," Sirius grinned.

"It's the last Herbology lesson of the year," James shrugged. "Who cares? And it starts in ten minutes."

"Eight," Remus corrected.

"Whatever," Sirius said, and flung off his shirt. Instantly, half the yard came to a screeching halt. A couple of girls gasped.

"Coming, Prongs?" Sirius grinned. He had the attention of almost the whole courtyard now. In three steps he had reached a small ledge and made a clean dive straight into the lake. The water rippled a bit, catching the most of the gleaming sunshine. Sirius's head re-emerged seconds later, and he was beaming widely.

"Right behind you," James said as he too flung off his shirt and dived into the water. There was applause and cheers from the bystanders.

"Is that lake sanitary?" Peter asked Remus in an undertone.

Remus shrugged, stifling a laugh.

Lily and Marcella strode right over to the lake, Lily looking somewhat furious, Marcella stifling laughter just like Remus. "You two get out of there right now!" Lily yelled at them from the ledge. "The school rules-"

"Blast the school rules, Evans," James said lazily from the water. "Don't you ever take a chance?"

That seemed to have touched a nerve. "Get out of the lake right now!" she shrieked, her eyes flaming. "You don't have permission to be in there!"

They ignored her. "Hey Marcella," Sirius said calmly to the other girl standing on the ledge. She was starting to giggle in spite of herself. "How do we look?"

"Sexy," Marcella said sarcastically.

Immediately, Lily shot her a glare so venomous that she backed away from the ledge.

Just then, the bell rang. Lily swore under her breath. "As soon as you come out of that water, you two are going to be knee-full in detentions," she spat at the two boys floating in the water.

"Hey! You can't give us detention for the summer!" Sirius said.

"I can give it to you for next year," she said through gritted teeth. Being late for a class seemed to have made her even scarier. She strode off (stomped was more like it) to Herbology, Marcella hurrying in her wake, still stifling laughter. Remus and Peter headed that way with them.

"She needs to lighten up," Sirius said nonchalantly, now floating on his back.

"Agreed," James grinned. "This is the life, isn't it? No worries, no Herbology…"

"And apparently no explanation as to why you two are in there," a sharp voice came from above them. James whipped around in shock while Sirius sputtered and struggled to stand up in the water. Professor McGonagall was glaring at them from the ledge, eyes full of anger, lips thin. "Get out of there right now!"

James and Sirius quickly clambered out of the lake. The sweltering heat thankfully made it so that they weren't cold, but they shivered still, more from the icy glare of McGonagall than anything else.

"What were you two doing?" she asked, nostrils flared.

"Uh," James stammered. "We were sweating and thought…"

"You could take a bath in the lake?" she finished, eyebrow raised. "The lake isn't exactly the most sanitary place, Potter."

"Ew," Sirius said, frowning a bit.

"You two will go to class right now," McGonagall said sternly.

"Can't-Can't we take a shower first?" James asked desperately. He and Sirius were covered in bits of muck and seaweed.

"No, you can go to class dressed like this if this is how you want to spend the rest of the school year," McGonagall said, frowning. "Now go."

James and Sirius traipsed off to the greenhouses covered in souvenirs from the lake. They pulled open the door as their classmates looked at them in shock. The room suddenly exploded in laughter.

Once the laughter died, James and Sirius took their regular place beside Remus and Peter in the greenhouse. "What happened?" Remus frowned. "And why don't you two have shirts on?"

"McGonagall," James said, annoyed. "She wouldn't let us shower or change."

Near them, Marcella let out a laugh that she couldn't stifle.

"Think it's funny, do you?" Sirius asked her, somewhat coldly.

"Yeah, I do," Marcella grinned. "So shoot me and my human instincts."

Remus thought Sirius might explode at her, but instead his expression softened and he shot her a small grin. It was quickly smothered, however, when Lily shot him a deadly glare.

"Evil," Sirius muttered under his breath to James. James stifled a snicker.

The greenhouse lesson was quite boring as they worked with relatively tame plants. Professor Sprout did not want them to have to go to the hospital wing on the last day of classes. The only bad part was that James and Sirius started to smell worse as the lesson went on, probably from some sort of murky water near the edge of the lake, and even Remus and Peter started edging away from the two of them.

"You know, going into the lake isn't actually against the rules," Remus said after a while, trying to turn his nose away from the two. "But let's just say that Hogwarts seriously needs some new pipes as some of the old ones have been leaking. According to the Head Boy we might get them next year, but until then…especially near the shore…"

James and Sirius exchanged disgusted looks.

The lesson finally ended after what seemed like an eternity. Most of the students sprinted out of the greenhouse in joy, but James and Sirius needed to finish up the last of the planting as they had arrived late. Remus and Peter loyally waited beside them.

"Finally," Sirius groaned after they were allowed to leave. "What do we have next?"

"Defense," Remus said. "Then we're done."

"I just hope we don't run into Evans," Sirius said, grinning. "Not that I mind detentions…"

James and Peter laughed. Suddenly, Peter let out a sort of a yell – he had just collided into Snape, who was immersed in a book, and both went tumbling to the ground.

"Watch it, Pettigrew," Snape spat as he pulled himself back up. He drew out his wand.

James and Remus helped Peter back up. "Watch it yourself, your greasiness," Sirius said icily.

Snape's lips curled. "I think you two-" he glanced at Peter and Sirius "-need caution more than me. Being able to apparate more than two feet is significantly important."

Knowing Sirius's reaction time quite well by now, Remus got hold of Sirius's robes right as Sirius lunged at Snape. "Let's go," Remus said in a low voice. "He's not worth it. You and James are already in trouble with McGonagall."

James was glaring at Snape, but just as he was about to draw out his wand, he saw McGonagall approaching the scene. Snape noticed this too, and quickly walked away, pocketing his wand as he strode out of sight.

It was not a good way to end the day. None of them got in trouble with McGonagall, but Sirius was moody yet again over Snape's apparition comments. His spirits lifted, however, at the end-of-the-year feast, in which Gryffindor won the House Cup, mostly due to James and his team winning the final Quidditch match and the Quidditch Cup. He shot a glance at Marcella, who was beaming widely, and he felt himself smile as well.

On the train ride back to England, he was happy at the prospect of simply seeing the Potters again. "I can't wait to eat more of Heda's cooking," he said to James in their compartment.

James laughed. "She'll be happy to cook for you. She loves a heavy eater."

"You guys are coming to visit, right?" Sirius asked Remus and Peter.

"If my dad will let me," Peter said, nodding.

"Absolutely," Remus beamed. "Can't stay away. Faye's coming to visit though, so I'll have to come when she's not there."

"She's coming to your house?" James asked in surprise.

"Well, obviously we've scheduled it around full moon nights," Remus said sarcastically. "But my parents have always wanted to meet her. Our guest room is already prepared for her."

"Sounds like you two are going to have some fun," James said, grinning.

"Oh, shut up," Remus said, flushing.

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "Nice going, mate."

"Is Lauren going to come and visit you, Wormtail?" James asked.

"Maybe," Peter said, and he couldn't help but smile. "We decided that we're going to converse in mail and see if we can visit each other. My dad, you know," he said, looking pointedly at his friends. They nodded sympathetically.

They spent the rest of the train ride discussing the best parts of sixth year, and planning mischief for seventh year. After snacks from the trolley and games of chess and exploding snap, the train arrived at the platform. It was the end of another year, and James couldn't help but feel sad as he stepped off the train.

"Don't worry Prongs," Remus said as he too stepped off the train. He smiled reassuringly at James. "It'll be fine."

Peter and Sirius were still in the compartment, taking their time. "Hey Moony," James said quietly as the two friends walked away from the steps so other people could get off. "Have you told Faye about your condition yet?"

Remus shook his head.

"Are you planning on telling her?" James asked, frowning a bit.

Again, Remus shook his head.

"You have to tell her," James sighed. "She deserves to know."

Remus stared at James. Where did this new, mature James come from? "What?" he croaked.

"You need to tell her," James said, this time firmly. "I can see that you two were clearly made for each other, but you can't spend the rest of your life hiding this from her."

"But that's what I thought about doing," Remus said, a hint of desperation in his voice. "I mean, I can't tell her! How will she react?"

"If she loves you, she'll understand," James said. "And if she doesn't…" James forced a smile. "Then maybe you two weren't meant to be."

Remus stared some more at James. "James," he said, trailing off.

James shook his head. "You know she'll find out one day. You can't keep hiding this from her, Moony. It's not right. Think about it." James shrugged. "Maybe you can tell her when she comes to stay at your house."

"Prongs!" the voice of Sirius called out loudly. "What are you doing? Your parents are over here!" James turned to see his parents and Sirius waving at his from a couple hundred feet away.

"Tell her," James said with finality as he turned away and headed toward his parents and Sirius.

Remus stood, dumbfounded, holding his luggage as he watched James go. He didn't even register Sirius shouting "BYE MOONY!" and Peter waving at him from beside his mum. Somewhere deep inside him, he knew Faye deserved to know everything that he was going through. Remus shook his head. _But I can't_, he thought to himself. _It'll be too much for the both of us._

_And since when had James been so…right?_

* * *

It was the first time in a long time that Peter noticed how sick his mother looked. The bags under her eyes were so depressing, and her skin was no longer a lively color. It had turned a dull gray. Her usually neat hair was messy, and her eyes looked troubled. Peter had the distinct impression that she had not slept for a couple of days.

Peter didn't understand. From the letters that he had gotten at Hogwarts, it didn't seem like anything was wrong. Of course, he wasn't usually focusing his attention on the activities at home. He was either trying not to fail his classes, gallivanting with his friends on some crazy adventure, or trying to maintain his relationship with Lauren, which was going so well. But even from the letters he could tell the tone was subdued. Once or twice he thought about asking for clarification, but never found the time. Now, however, he had no choice.

"Mum," he said quietly, carefully as his mother maneuvered the car slowly. "What's been going on at home?"

Mrs. Pettigrew's hands shook. "I'll tell you once we're there, Peter, I promise."

"Mum…"

"Later," she said, almost hysterically. Peter, shocked, sank back into his seat, daring to say no more.

They pulled up to their gloomy house. Silently, Peter and his mother stepped out of the car and into the house. Mrs. Pettigrew began to ascend the stairs, and Peter got the impression that he was to follow her.

They arrived in front of Peter's parents' room. The windows and blinds were all shut. None of the sunshine from the summer day shone in, making the house duller and sadder than ever. Taking a shuddering breath, Mrs. Pettigrew opened the door. Peter followed her inside.

He muffled a gasp of shock. Lying on the bed was his father, face duller and grayer than his mothers. He was either in a heavy sleep or near dead by this point.

Mrs. Pettigrew seemed to weaken a bit. Sensing this, Peter pulled her out of the room and led her downstairs, where she collapsed on the couch. "Mum," Peter asked carefully, sitting down beside her. "What happened to him?"

"Heart condition," Mrs. Pettigrew choked out with great difficulty. "St. Mungo's can't fix him, nor are they willing to try. At this point, there's been so many killings that a heart condition doesn't seem to matter."

"But that's wrong," Peter said indignantly.

"What can we do?" Mrs. Pettigrew sighed. "We don't have much money, and as of right now, it's hopeless. I've been taking care of your father to the best of my ability, but I don't think it's enough." She took a shuddering breath.

"So he's not dead?" Peter asked.

"No," Mrs. Pettigrew whispered. "But it's only a matter of time."

In the night, Peter was allowed to open up some of the windows. The cool air blew harshly in his face as he helped his mother to the bed in the guest room. Then, he himself put on his pajamas and lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. He knew that he wanted to be here with his mum, to comfort her through this difficult time. Mr. Pettigrew had loved his wife more than he could ever love his son. But Peter felt sick just being in his house. He would give anything to be back at Hogwarts, back in his four-poster bed, away from all this.

After another hour of tossing and turning, Peter sat up. He just couldn't sleep. Putting on a jacket, he opened his door quietly as to not disturb his mother. He considered going down to the kitchen for a snack, but at the last moment turned into a corridor and headed in the direction of the bedroom where his father lay.

He didn't know why he was going this way. His father had never cared, had always been disappointed that Peter was a follower, and that Peter had been sorted into Gryffindor. But as his trembling fingers reached for the doorknob leading to his father's room, Peter knew that this might be the last chance he ever gets to see his father.

The door slowly opened without any squeaks. Peter stepped carefully inside, trying not to step too hard on the floorboards. He pulled up a chair that was at his father's desk and sat himself down next to where his father lay. Outside the inky sky let through shards of moonlight behind thick clouds, and Peter shuddered, thinking of Remus. Silently, Peter sat for what felt like hours, just staring at his father's face. Mr. Pettigrew's features were hard and defined, but at the same time sick and battered. They showed absolute determination from a talented supporter of Lord Voldemort.

Suddenly, Mr. Pettigrew's eyes opened, and his black eyes stared at Peter for a moment. He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it, and beckoned Peter to come closer with a small twitch of his hand.

Peter did so, and gazed at his father, not sure whether to be happy or scared.

"Peter," Mr. Pettigrew croaked. Peter sat, wide-eyed. "Peter," Mr. Pettigrew croaked again. "I don't have much longer, so listen, and listen good."

Peter nodded, scared.

"You were never the son I wanted or hoped for," Mr. Pettigrew said, not even bothering to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Peter flinched and flushed immediately. He opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off.

"I can't deny, however, that you're my only son," Mr. Pettigrew said quietly. "Before I leave the earth for good, I'm going to offer you one last piece of advice." His features hardened even more. "Be smart for once in your life. Realize what's right for you, because if you don't, you'll die. Simple as that. Be smart for the sake of your mother."

He breathed in, shuddering. It seemed every word was causing his body more pain. He shot one last look at Peter. "Goodbye, Peter," he said, voice raspy. "Remember my advice, or you'll soon be seeing me, whether it be in heaven or hell." With a weak breath, his body seemed to collapse back on the bed.

Peter stood up abruptly, not knowing what to do, not knowing what to feel. He returned the chair to its original position, hands shaking uncontrollably, and took one last look at his father. The moonlight framed his face, wasted and worn, and Peter felt something different for the first time. It wasn't love, but it was a tiny fragment of care, and as he let himself out of that room he felt that tiny fragment better than he had felt anything else his entire life.

He returned to his bedroom and lay in bed, thinking about his father's last message to him. And he was confused. His feelings were confused. And more than anything, the way he felt about life, his friends and his mother were so confused that it made his head hurt, and he finally fell asleep around a whirl of nonsensical thoughts.

The next morning when he woke up he heard his mother's anguished cries. And he knew his father was dead.

* * *

"Good luck," James said, punching Sirius lightly on the shoulder.

"I'll need it," Sirius said gloomily. "I'm not looking forward to this."

"You've been taking the extra lessons, haven't you? You and Peter," James said. "So you'll be fine. Besides, Moony gave you both tons of advice."

"Well, Moony passed, so maybe it's good luck." Sirius and James stepped out into the entrance hall, where Sirius frowned. "You know, Peter's been acting strange lately," he said finally.

"Well his father died and his mother's sick," James said. "Of course he'd be upset."

"No, not upset," Sirius said, brows furrowed. "That's not the feeling I'm getting from him. I can't place my finger on it. It's just weird." He sighed, then shrugged. "Maybe I'm overreacting. I've got to get ready for this bloody apparition test."

"You've got twenty minutes," Mrs. Potter said cheerfully from behind them. Her husband followed her. "Come on, Sirius, it's a fifteen minute drive to the testing place, and you certainly don't want to be late!"

"Yippee," Sirius groaned.

"I'll see you later, Padfoot," James said, laughing. "You'll pass." He watched as his mother, father and Sirius clambered into the car, and then James closed the front door.

It was near the end of the summer now, and James had the others visit a number of times already. His mother had scolded him for getting into so much trouble at school, but given James's grades were so spectacular, she didn't have too much to complain about.

While Sirius was at the apparition test, James sat around the house, not doing much. He thought about starting his summer homework, but decided against it. Heck, he had another week or so. He and Sirius always managed to finish it the day before, though it was cramped.

James wandered into the kitchen, where he saw Heda wiping down the oven. "Hey Heda," he said.

The elf turned and gave him a toothy grin. "Master Potter! Would he like Heda to bring some food?"

"No, it's fine," James said, smiling. "Just saying hi."

He walked out of the room and decided to go upstairs to his bedroom and get his broom for some Quidditch practice, but realized that it would be rather boring playing Quidditch alone. Sighing, he plopped down on his bed. James never realized how much time he and Sirius spent together. Though he could at times be moody, Sirius was unlike anyone James had ever met. The same went for Remus and Peter.

James decided to head back downstairs and maybe play chess or exploding snap with himself. As he came down the winding stairs he saw two brown school owls heading toward the front window.

Immediately James threw open the window and watched as the two owls landed. He couldn't wait to go to Diagon Alley again to get supplies for the start of a new term. James detached the letters from the owls and sent them off. Turning his attention to the letters, he picked out the one that was meant for him and immediately frowned. It was quite a bit heavier than the other, but James shrugged, thinking it was simply another Quidditch Captain letter. But even as he thought that he frowned some more. Even the Quidditch letter hadn't been _this_ heavy.

Heart pounding a little bit faster now, James slit open the letter…and out fell a Head Boy badge.

Suddenly, the door blasted open, and Sirius triumphantly burst in. "I PASSED!" he shouted loudly, gleefully. "Prongs, I passed!"

James never took his eyes off the badge. "That's great," he croaked.

"What's wrong?" Sirius said, coming over to James. As he saw what James held in his hand, his jaw dropped as well. "Head boy?" he said disbelievingly. "Bloody…"

Mr. and Mrs. Potter came in through the doorway at this second and noticed the two boys. "What's wrong?' Mrs. Potter frowned.

Wordlessly, James held up the badge.

Mrs. Potter broke into a beaming smile. "Oh James! I am so proud of you!" She started smothering him in kisses.

"Mum, geroff!" James mumbled.

Mr. Potter finally pulled her away, but he too was smiling. "Congratulations, son. You'll be absolutely great." He and his wife left, leaving James and Sirius to celebrate.

"Sirius, you know I didn't ask for this," James said quietly.

"I know," Sirius said, managing a smile.

"I would rather never take this if I had a choice."

"I know," Sirius said again.

"This isn't going to change anything with the marauders," James said, more to himself than Sirius.

"Bloody hell, James!" Sirius said loudly. "Of course this is going to change things. You're _Head Boy_." Sirius sat down on a nearby chair and stared at James. "Snap out of denial, James. See reality."

"I've never been in denial!" James said defensively.

"And yet you're doing it now," Sirius said dryly. "Look, you've been in denial about Evans for the past six years. Either you think she likes you when she hates you, or you think you hate her when you don't. Don't think that this badge isn't going to change anything. It will."

Sirius's eyes traveled out the window, then he looked back at James and offered a smile. "But it's okay, Prongs. Two Remuses can't be that bad for the future."

"I am not-" James protested.

"I'm only joking," Sirius said. He grinned at James. "I'm happy for you. I really am."

James knew Sirius's tone was sincere.

"Now, I wonder how Moony's going to react," Sirius said, laughing.

"That's a good point," James said, beginning to smile. "Oh, how I'd love to have some fun with this. Let's send him and Peter a letter."

The two friends headed upstairs. Tawny was perched on a windowsill. James took the time to copy two letters stating that he had been named Head Boy and addressed them to Remus and Peter, then tied them to Tawny and sent her to deliver them.

"I don't think I said congrats on passing apparition," James said to Sirius later as they were playing chess in James's room. "Did Wormtail pass?"

"Actually, he did," Sirius said with a bit of a smile. "He was so surprised that he simply toppled over when he landed in the designated spot. The examiner thought he had a seizure from passing, which may not be too far off."

James laughed. He looked at Sirius. "I wonder why Dumbledore made me Head Boy."

"He's completely mental," Sirius shrugged.

"I would never have guessed I'd be…well, I can't even say it." James took Sirius's knight. "Detention's been my home."

Sirius laughed. "I thought it was a joke. But Dumbledore must have had his reasons. He may be mental, but he definitely isn't stupid. Though I have to say, this is a bigger shock than Snivelly being Prefect. At least he isn't Head Boy…"

"That would be hell," James said.

As Sirius's queen trumped James's castle, he said suddenly, "Who's Head Girl?"

James frowned. "I hadn't thought about that."

"Maybe it's Evans," Sirius said, working but failing to keep a grin off his face.

"Most likely," James sighed, and watched as Sirius moved into checkmate position. "She hates me. This is _really_ going to be a bad year."


	48. Lily

A/N: Hello all! It's been a crazy vacation, if you can even call it that. I'm taking SAT classes and I have to take a 4-hour test every day. But I do still have time to write, and I do it in all my spare time.

Now this chapter, many of you have been looking forward to. It's the beginning of the seventh year! Yay! It's a bit shorter than usual. I was going to cram nother majot plot point in the chapter but I think I just put it in the next chapter.

Now, before I get any feedback about this, I would just like to say that the Lily-James relationship might take a bit longer to happen than some of you might have expected. Why? Well, I'm not stalling, by any means, but I don't want the relationship to happen instantaneously. Lily has to undo six years of hatred, and it won't happen in the matter of a day, or even a week. So stay with me here.

In response to some comments about last chapter, yeah, Peter gets his storylines too. I hate him as much as anybody else, but his story is so vital to what Harry's life has become. Leaving him out would be... well, not good for the story.

And once again, a big hearty thank you to all my readers and reviewers! Thanks to MaraudingChick, living-is-easy-with-eyes-closed, Hahukum Konn, elise bentwin, CarmenElizabeth, Young Prewett, 3-Legge Dog, Kendra-the hyper one, brona, Cappygal116, miwako, Kates Master, Seriously Moony, felicia, and RitaSkeepterGossip! Thanks so much for all the feedback, it makes me happy :)

* * *

_September, 1976_

* * *

Lily

"You _can't_ be serious," Remus said, gaping at James.

"Didn't you get my owl?" James frowned.

"Yeah, but I didn't actually think you were serious!" Remus said incredulously.

"Eh, don't blame yourself, Moony," Sirius said, shrugging. "That was my reaction too."

"I think you'll make a great Head Boy, James," Peter piped up.

"Thanks, Wormtail," James said.

Remus sighed. "I didn't mean it to be offensive, Prongs. I just think I'm in shock, that's all. I'm sorry."

"Honestly, Moony, it's okay," James said, laughing. "I'm in shock too."

For the first time, the four friends were actually dawdling outside of the train before meeting up in it. Remus wanted to clarify the letter he had gotten with James, and was still in a state of semi-denial. He wouldn't say he was jealous…okay, maybe he was a tiny bit. But overall, he was perfectly content with being a Prefect, as he knew Faye was not chosen to be Head Girl. He did know who the real Head Girl was, and he had a sinking feeling that the rest had a hunch too.

They couldn't avoid the comforts of the train any longer. The four friends finally boarded the train and found their usual compartment. It was pretty much general knowledge that no one was to take the compartment except for the Marauders, and even first years knew this fact, probably from older friends or siblings.

After a couple minutes of racking the luggage, James and Remus said goodbye to Peter and Sirius and started heading down to the front of the train, to the huge compartments reserved for them. As they walked, James took out from his pocket the badge he had been dreading wearing for the past couple of weeks. He pinned it on slowly and gave it a look of disgust. Remus laughed at this.

"It's really not that bad, James," Remus said. "Sure, some of the patrols are a pain in the arse, but they're really not that bad for the most part."

"Easy for you to say," James grumbled. "You actually looked forward to being a prefect when you got your notice. And plus, Faye is a prefect. Why couldn't Dumbledore have given this badge to you?"

Remus shrugged. "He had his reasons, probably. You are going to _try_, aren't you?"

"Yes," James said defensively. "I'm going to try my hardest."

"Good," Remus said, beaming.

Finally, the two reached the front, and they saw Faye walking toward them.

"Hey Remus!" Faye said, grinning. Suddenly, she looked surprised. "James? What are you doing here?"

"I'm Head Boy," James said, rather gloomily.

"Remus, you didn't tell me James was Head Boy," Faye said, laughing.

"I didn't believe him," Remus said truthfully.

Faye punched him playfully. "Oh you. Let's go. The rest of the Prefects are already assembled. Come on, James, follow us."

James obeyed, and walked into the large compartment set up somewhat like an auditorium. As he walked, people stared at him and his badge, mouths hanging wide open. "Hey Potter," one Hufflepuff called. "What're you doing here? Are you lost?"

"I'm Head Boy," James said, grinning sardonically and pointing at his badge.

The Hufflepuff stared disbelievingly. Remus stifled a laugh. It was worth it for James to be Head Boy just to see the reactions on people's faces. Both Remus and James were particularly satisfied to see Snape's horrified face as he too caught sight of James's badge.

"I can get Snivelly in detention now," James whispered gleefully to Remus.

"Don't push it," Remus said warningly. "Head Boy is a huge responsibility."

"Stop spoiling my fun, Moony," James groaned.

Finally, the three reached the front of the compartment, where there were two seats specifically set aside for the two Heads in a small half-compartment. Faye smiled at James. "Good luck."

"Thanks," James said, smiling back. He watched as Faye and Remus returned to sit with the other Prefects.

James took a deep breath and headed toward the Head Boy and Head Girl spot, wondering who the Head Girl was, but even before he caught a glimpse of her, his stomach was already sinking. He saw the red hair and immediately swore under his breath. His hunch had been right. He would be spending a whole year with Lily Evans. James tried to steady himself and steady his breathing. _Play it cool, Potter_, he advised himself. _Play it cool_. James knew that he had never quite gotten over Lily.

As he approached, she turned around, and her expression turned from one of apprehension and excitement to one of utter disbelief. "You!" she whispered, though loudly, standing up.

"Yes, me, Evans," James said. "Good day to you too."

"This is unbelievable!" she said, throwing up her hands. "Why on _earth_ are you Head Boy, Potter?"

"I don't know," James said truthfully. "But it's cool, right?" He offered a grin. "I mean, two Gryffindors?"

She glared at him. His grin faltered.

Lily shook her head, still gazing in disbelief. "I cannot believe I have to spend a year with you! What a way to end my Hogwarts days." She leaned back against the wall of the half-compartment, hitting the wall with the back of her head. "This is not happening."

James's temper flared. "I didn't ask for this, Evans! And what's wrong with patrolling with me? What's wrong with spending a year with me?"

Lily gave a sarcastic smile, but did not look at him.

James's annoyance was rising. Couldn't she see that he didn't want to be there either?

"You really are stupider than I thought," she said in a low voice.

"Actually, I'm not stupid," James said angrily. "So what's wrong with me, Evans?"

"You're not going to take this job seriously, Potter," she said coldly, her head against the wall, staring at the ceiling. "We both know you aren't. While you may get high marks in class, this is a completely different responsibility in that we _actually have to do something_. And by the looks of it, I'm going to be spending my year doing all the work. Alone."

James gaped at her, mouth open. "I don't know why I ever liked you," he finally said. He wasn't sure why he said it. It just spilled out.

Lily's eyes widened in shock, but she determinedly averted her gaze. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction that he had hurt her.

"Honestly," James said quietly, shaking his head. "I can't think of a single reason why. You're telling me all these things, and yet you don't know how I'll handle the job. You can't stop thinking bad of me for one moment."

"I've never found the reason or the motivation to," she snapped, still not looking at him. "I may not be your best friend, but I assure you, I know your work habits well enough by now after six years." Lily stopped and sighed, somewhat resignedly. "Look, Potter, this is really important to me, and it might be important to you. I don't know. I'm going to work very hard on it this year, and if you won't, that's fine. Just stay out of my way."

James started to speak, but she cut him off.

"If you want to use it to get your friends out of trouble, fine. If you want to take ten billion points and give ten billion detentions to your enemies, fine. Just leave me out of it, okay? But if you find that you're willing to work and do some of what the job needs you to do, then I'm willing to be cooperative." She sighed again, but her expression was lighter. "Dumbledore chose us, James, and we don't dare let him down."

His heart skipped a beat when he realized that she had called him by his first name for the first time. "I _am_ going to take this job seriously," James said, hoping he sounded as earnest as he felt.

At last, Lily turned toward him and looked at him closely for a minute. "Prove it," she finally said, and walked away toward the crowd and stood in front of the large number of prefects. For a moment James thought that she had ditched him, but then she motioned to him to join her at the front.

"We need to make a speech in a couple of minutes," she hissed as he stood next to her. "If you would like to say something to the prefects, do it, but don't cut me off. You haven't listened to the past Head Boys and Girls. Just… just be quiet, and say what you need to say, alright?"

James nodded.

"Hello all," Lily said loudly once everybody in the room was quiet. "I'm Lily Evans." She looked at James.

"And I'm James Potter," he said. He was surprised at how nervous he was. It was even worse than his first Quidditch match.

"We're your Head Boy and Girl this year." Lily smiled, somewhat grimly. "Now, some of you here are old hands, returning Prefects, and some of you are new. I'll just go over a few rules right now to refresh what you might have lost during the holidays."

Several people laughed appreciatively.

"Patrols are scheduled by the teachers, so either your Head of House or McGonagall will inform you of when to do it. Now, you are assigned partners for patrol, but they change quite frequently, so you won't have to worry about being paired with the same annoying partner time after time."

Again, people laughed. Lily herself smiled. James found himself smiling a bit as well.

"Being a prefect takes quite a lot of responsibility," she continued. "To be perfectly honest, it's not the most thrilling job, but certainly the most satisfying. I say this only because we get to know the Hogsmeade dates in advance, and can map out places to snog before anyone else."

James found himself laughing out loud with everybody else as Lily continued her witty speech. He couldn't help but admire the genuine smile in her countenance and the ease to which she talked in front of an entire group of people. Her speech was filled with funny moments to keep everybody listening, and she covered every aspect of being a prefect while doing so.

She finally tossed back her red hair and turned to James. "My blabbering is done. Pot-, I mean, James, do you have anything to say? You are Head Boy, after all."

"Uh, sure," James said hesitantly. Lily stepped back. James could feel her green eyes eyeing him intently, wondering what he'll do, what he'll say.

"As most of you know, I'm James Potter," he said, unsure of where his speech was going. "Uh…" Nervously, he turned back to look at Lily, who he expected to be sneering at him. But instead, she was nodding encouragingly at him.

"Well, I'm sure most of you are wondering why I'm here, being Head Boy and all. Truthfully, I have no clue. Somehow, I was Dumbledore's choice." James grinned. "I wouldn't even have chosen me."

Everybody laughed.

"But I really am going to try hard, and not heave everything on the shoulders of Miss Evans here, who is obviously more responsible than I am." He took a deep breath. "And, well, that's it," he said.

"Alright," Lily said, smiling at everyone. "You all are free to go back to your compartments and join your friends now. No more prison time."

The prefects cheered and started to head out of the room. Lily turned to James. "Good job, Potter." And with that, she followed the rest of the Prefects and headed out of the compartment.

James gaped at her as she left. "What just happened?" he asked Remus, who was waiting for him.

"I have no idea," Remus said, laughing.

* * *

"I can't do this, Marci," Lily groaned. "I can_not _do this."

"Lily, you're overreacting," Marcella said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm going to be spending the next three hours with James Potter," Lily said, groaning. "And it's only our first day back. You'd think that they would give us a break, but no."

Marcella's lips twitched upward a bit.

"I mean, I already had to endure time with him on the train, where he completely insulted me, by the way," Lily said, now pacing back and forth in their dormitory. As usual, Mary, Lauren and Rachael were out, and the two girls had the dorm to themselves.

"You told me a couple of hours ago that he wasn't as bad as you expected," Marcella said patiently. "So what's with the sudden change of mind?"

"I just…can't do it," Lily moaned, plopping down on her bed. "I mean, I hate him!"

"Do you really?" Marcella asked softly.

Lily was unable to respond. Finally, she pried her mouth open. "Yes!" she said as firmly as possible.

"Well you'd better get rid of that mentality," Marcella said. "You can't go through the year hating him. It'll make your job that much more difficult, alright? At least be civil."

"I will if he does," Lily muttered. "He'd better not try to jinx me or anyone else for that matter, or else, so help me, I-I'll…"

"Put him in detention?" Marcella said, smiling a bit. "He's not bothered by it."

"And that's why I think that this is not going to work," Lily said.

"You will be fine," Marcella said, trying to be patient. "I've been playing Quidditch with him for the past two years. I'm still alive."

Lily sighed. "Alright," she said, taking a deep breath. "Thanks, Marci. I'm headed toward my doom." She stood up and gave her best friend a hug. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck," Marcella said, smiling. "And if he annoys you, I'll chuck a Quaffle at him in our next practice."

"Deal," Lily said, laughing.

Taking another deep breath, Lily let herself out of the dormitory and headed down the stairs to the common room, where she was hoping she'd see James, because they did not pre-arrange a meeting spot. She gnashed her teeth nervously, hoping he wouldn't be late. Not only was this her first patrol as Head Girl, Lily and James also had to go see Dumbledore for a quick meeting of initiation sorts for information. She was hoping he wouldn't do something stupid in front of Dumbledore, but knowing James as she did, it was always a possibility.

As she reached the bottom of the stairs, she was pleased to see James sitting on a couch, waiting expectantly for her.

"You're early," she said as she strode up to him.

James smiled charmingly and flirtatiously while standing up. "So are you."

"Put away those teeth, Potter," Lily said, rolling her eyes. "You may have wooed ten thousand other girls with them, but to me, you just look stupid."

James felt his fabricated smiled slide into a genuine one. Lily looked at him, a bit surprised at his genuine smile. "That's better," she said. "Let's go, we have to go to Dumbledore's office, remember?"

"Yeah," James said. "Let's go."

The pair walked out of the common room and headed in the direction of Dumbledore's office. James glanced over at Lily a couple of times as they walked, but she seemed to be concentrating hard on the ceiling of the castle.

"So," he said, finally mustering up the courage to start a conversation. "Uh, how was your first day back?"

"Relatively good," Lily replied, still staring at the ceiling. "The food was scrumptious, as always."

"Right," James breathed. They fell into silence again.

Neither of them spoke again until they reached Dumbledore's office. The gargoyle seemed to look at them expectantly as they approached.

"Oh crap," Lily said suddenly, smacking her head as she looked at the gargoyle.

"What? What's wrong?" James asked, frowning.

"Do you remember the password to Dumbledore's office?" Lily asked him. "It was in the letter."

"What letter?" James asked.

"The letter telling us that we were head Boy and Girl, the letter that gave us directions to be here tonight," Lily said frantically. "I knew I should have written down that password, now I don't remember!"

"Lily, please, think clearly for a moment," James said quietly. "It's okay. We'll figure something out."

She looked at him, surprised. He didn't tell her to calm down. She hated when people told her that, except maybe from Marcella.

"Do you have any idea what the password could possibly be?" James said calmly.

"Dumbledore loves sweets," Lily said helplessly.

"Alright, tell me your favorite candy."

Lily stared at him.

"Come on, tell me," James said, grinning. "Just do it. I promise I won't use it as blackmail."

"Chocolate," Lily offered grudgingly.

"What kind?" James said. "Be specific."

"Well, I'm not too fond of cockroach clusters, but chocolate frogs are alright, and-"

Suddenly, the gargoyle sprang aside, leaving the stairway open.

"Nice going," James said, smiling at Lily. "I think the chocolate frogs did the trick."

"Yeah," Lily said, breathing in relief. "And we're still kind of early."

"Do you want to head up?" James asked.

"Well, we'll have to eventually." Lily walked toward the entrance to Dumbledore's office. "Let's go. And Potter?"

"Yeah?"

Lily gave him a tiny nod. "Good thinking."

The two headed up the winding staircase and found Dumbledore sitting at his desk. He did not seem all that surprised when Lily and James entered ten minutes early. He smiled at then from under the half-moon glasses, his blue eyes twinkling.

"Please, have a seat," he said, gesturing to two chairs that were sitting in front of his desk. Lily and James did so.

"I sense that we are a bit early, but that's quite alright," Dumbledore said once they were comfortably seated. "This meeting is nothing serious, I assure you, just a general outline of what the Head Boy and Girl are expected to do.

"As you know, this is a big responsibility to be sure, and I do want you both to take it seriously."

Both James and Lily nodded. James wondered if Dumbledore was going to explain why he chose them for the position, but Dumbledore didn't.

"You, along with the staff, will come up with dates for Hogsmeade weekends," Dumbledore continued. "I find it nice to get student inputs on these weekends, just to get an idea of what the students want. You will also have patrol every night."

James gaped at Dumbledore. Every night? He had to be joking.

"The patrols are not too long, I assure you," Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling. "I'm sure the time will fly right by."

"Yeah right," Lily muttered under her breath. Fortunately, nobody heard her.

"Other than that, a short weekly report of the patrols will do. Just slip in under Professor McGonagall's office door. One last thing, you will need to schedule monthly meetings with the prefects to help them out with any problems they are having. And I think that's it. The weight is upon your shoulders now," Dumbledore said, smiling.

"Thank you, sir," Lily said, standing up. James thanked Dumbledore as well. Together, the two headed out of Dumbledore's office.

"That doesn't seem that bad," James said as they walked down the hallway.

"No, not bad," Lily said, and returned to examining the ceiling as she walked.

James looked at her and sighed under his breath. He could tell that she didn't want to talk to him, and he didn't blame her. Well, maybe a little, but he knew that it was mostly his fault anyway. But at least they were being civil to one another. It was a start.

"So where are we headed?" James finally asked.

She took her eyes off the ceiling and now stared straight ahead. "We're patrolling, aren't we? We just walk around to see if anything happens. I've been doing it for two years. Not every night though. But I've never had to write a report for it. I suppose we'll have to do one today, as it is a Friday."

"Oh," was all James could muster.

As they walked along, James stole casual glances at Lily. She was determinedly staring straight ahead, refusing to look at him.

"So what _is_ your favorite chocolate?" James asked suddenly.

Caught off guard, Lily frowned and stopped walking. James stopped as well. "Why?" she asked, turning to look at him.

"Well, we never got there. All I know is that you don't like cockroach clusters and that you're okay with chocolate frogs," James said. "We never got to your favorite."

Lily thought for a moment. "Well, I do like most chocolate." The pair started walking again. "Sugar in general makes me happy." She smiled to herself. "But if I had to pick a favorite, I would have to say the Chocoballs. They're the ones filled with strawberry mousse and clotted cream."

"Sounds yummy," James said.

"They are," Lily said, nodding. "Have you ever had one?"

"No," James confessed.

"Well you have to try them sometime. They're great," Lily said.

"I'll keep that in mind," James said, smiling. Lily caught the smile and hastily returned to staring at the ceiling.

James was bored of the patrol within the first half hour. Lily, though not ignoring him, was not making much effort to start a conversation. Nothing exciting was happening around the castles, except for the occasional crash that meant that Peeves had just crashed another statue followed by the angry yells of Filch running after him.

Looking around the castle carefully, James could not help but feel sad that this was his last year at the school he loved so much. As the two Heads turned a corner, James accidentally let out an audible sigh.

"Is anything wrong?" Lily asked, turning to look at him.

"No," James lied.

"I didn't think you were a liar, Potter," Lily said, a hint of a smile on her face.

"I'm not," James said defensively.

Lily looked at him, one eyebrow raised.

"Alright, alright," James said. "I'm just…I don't know, sad."

"Because you're patrolling the halls with me?" Lily said.

"No!" James said loudly. Then, he saw her expression and knew she was teasing.

"So what's really wrong?" she asked.

"I'm going to miss this place," James said quietly. "Hogwarts, I mean."

Lily looked at him in surprise. "You and me both. I'm going to miss this place too."

"Yeah?" James said.

"Yeah," Lily replied.

James expected her to return immediately to contemplating the ceiling again, but Lily instead shot him a small smile that caught him off-guard and made his heart lift at the same time.

"This place has been home to me so much more than anything else," she said quietly. "It's my safehold, my haven, you know? I just feel like nothing can touch me here. I'm so happy when I'm at Hogwarts."

"I know how you feel," James said, nodding. "I'm one that has a good life at home, but that's not the same case for some of my close friends. And being here with them means so much to me. I feel like I can't let this place go."

Lily nodded. "I most definitely know that Remus's mum is deathly sick."

James did a double-take, then nodded as well.

"Yeah," Lily sighed. "But what you said about your friends being here, I don't know where I'd be without Marci. She's such a strong person, and she always can see the things that I miss. I don't know. She's always the one calming me down when I'm being spastic."

James laughed. "Yeah, I know what you mean. Remus is kind of like that for us."

"I've noticed," Lily said, smiling. "It's good to have friends like that. I mean, especially with the relationship that I have with my sister…"

She suddenly stopped. "But never mind that," she said hastily. "You wouldn't want to hear about my family problems."

"No, it's alright," James said. "Unless it's something private, I wouldn't mind at all. Spill."

Lily looked at him closely for the first time that night and could tell that he was being honest. "Well my sister Petunia just completely hates me," Lily said.

"Wow, your mum must really like flowers, eh?" James said teasingly. "Lily and Petunia."

"Oh, she's obsessed," Lily said, smiling. "I think if she had another child she would have named her Daisy or Daffodil. Even if the child was a boy."

James laughed.

"Well, me and Petunia got along quite well," Lily said sobering up a bit. "That was, until I got the letter telling me that I was a witch."

"Was she jealous?" James asked carefully.

"I think so," Lily said firmly. "Either that, or she hated magic altogether, but I think she was jealous. She had written a letter to Dumbledore when we were really little, right after I was accepted, asking him if she could come to Hogwarts too. We had an extremely heated conversation back at Christmastime, but I don't want to go into that."

James nodded.

"You see," Lily said, smiling grimly. "I have a sneaking suspicion that mum and dad knew somehow about me being a witch. I don't see how they possibly could have, because they're just ordinary muggles, but I've done some odd things when I was younger. I don't know. But they were so proud of me, and from Petunia's point of view it might have seemed like they shoved her aside for a bit."

"That's not your fault," James said.

"I know," Lily said slowly. "At least, I think I know. But she hates me terribly, and as much as I want to hate her back, I can't. She's my sister. I just can't hate her. And it hurts so much that she sees me as a freak."

"I feel so sad for you," James said. "Is there anything I can possibly do?"

Once again, Lily was surprised by how understanding James was being. "No, it's alright," she said, smiling. "Petunia's boyfriend Vernon, however, is the biggest pig on the face of the planet. He chugged down half of the food at our dinner table when Petunia brought him to meet the family during summer."

"Nothing a little mouth-shrinking hex wouldn't cure," James said jokingly. He thought for a moment that Lily would start yelling at him, but to his surprise, she actually laughed. It took a moment for James to adjust to this strange new phenomenon. Lily Evans was laughing. Not at him, but at one of his jokes.

"I'm sure that would be illegal," Lily said, grinning. "But all the same, it would be funny."

As they rounded yet another corner, Lily checked her watch. "Wow," she said in surprise. "We overshot our patrol by ten minutes."

"Time flew by," James said. "Just like Dumbledore said it would."

Lily didn't respond. "We'd better go and write up that report," she said, suddenly business-like.

"Right," James said.

The pair headed to the staff room to get some parchment and a quill. Neither of them said anything on the way there, and Lily resumed to examining the ceiling with even greater interest than before. When they arrived, Lily took the initiative and wrote simply on a piece of parchment:

_Nothing happened on the Head Boy and Girls' patrol for the week of the First of September._

James folded the piece of parchment and the two headed to McGonagall's office to stick it under her door.

After they had done that, the pair silently headed back to the Gryffindor common room. "Malaclaw," Lily said firmly to the Fat Lady, who seemed to be dozing off to sleep. Grumbling, she let them in.

The common room was empty at the time. As the Heads had extended curfews, everybody was in their dormitories, either asleep or almost asleep. James and Lily lingered for a moment in the common room. The fire was roaring, though it was still warm outside, but James found himself sweating not because of the weather.

"Uh, so I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" James said, looking at Lily.

She nodded. "Well, either in classes or on patrol, I guess. I'll see you tomorrow, Potter." And with that, she turned and climbed up the stairs to her dormitory.

James stood alone in the common room, but he didn't feel like going up to bed. He plopped down on the nearest squishy chair and stared for what seemed like forever into the flaming fire that reminded him so much of Lily's hair.


	49. The Downsides of Growing Up

A/N: I know! Relatively quick, wasn't it? Well my free time is now more than during school, and I'm working my head off!

This chapter I did like when I was finished with it. It's an average length, but I think it marks a turning point in a lot of ways. For all the romance-lovers, that's next chapter. And for the angst-lovers, I believe that's two or three chapters later. We're just getting started into Seventh Year, which I just know I'm going to looooove writing about. For a quick preview, it's basically a lot of setting up, lots of romance, and drama. It's going to be a fun year.

And thatnks to all for the overwhelming response of my last chapter! I would like to thank Nietta, Bri Leonard, elise bentwin, MaraudingChick (I promise, more Sirius in fufutre chapters. Last chapter was very Lily, and there will be no Padfoot, no fear!), living-is-easy-with-eyes-closed, brona, Cappygal116, glory boots, CarmenElizabeth (Yay! Cookie!), miwako, Kates Master, Seriously Moony, SweetLikeALemon, Young Prewett, Kendra-the hyper one, tresdrole, RitaSkeeterGossip, and felicia! Thank you reviewers so, so much!

* * *

_September, 1976_

* * *

The Downside of Growing Up

"Alright, alright," Lily said, smiling. "Here goes." She lifted up her right arm dramatically and with a motion that James couldn't quite follow, suddenly popped her right shoulder out.

"Gah!" James exclaimed in surprise.

Lily laughed at the expression on his face and popped her shoulder back in. "You asked for it."

"I asked if you could do anything weird, but I certainly wasn't expecting that," James said, laughing as well.

"It's your turn," Lily said. "Can you do anything weird?"

"Not really," James said truthfully. He sighed dramatically. "I guess I'm not unique."

Lily smiled sarcastically. "You are unique, just like everyone else."

James laughed again.

It was three weeks into the school year and James was getting used to the patrols that they had every single night. Sure, it cut drastically into the time he could spend fooling around with the marauders, and since Remus's next transformation was coming up in a couple of days, James was worried about how he might possibly ditch patrol. But he was not dreading patrol anymore. He and Lily had not been completely warm to each other, but they were becoming more civil and shared a few laughs every now and then.

Lily stole a glance at James as they continued walking along. _He isn't that bad, really,_ she thought to herself. _But he certainly can be._

A week ago the Heads had spied Remus and Snape patrolling together, both looking miserable and annoyed. While he thought Lily wasn't watching, James had muttered a hex at Snape, who instantly started to sprout a bigger and greasier nose. Lily caught this and was instantly angry at James. She had refused to talk to him for the next two days of patrol before he apologized.

"You need to take this seriously, Potter," she had snapped during his apology. "Head Boys don't curse Prefects, alright? _Never_ do that again, I am serious."

"Alright, I promise," James had said lightly.

"No, that's not enough!" Lily had shouted. "You said to me on the train that you were going to _try_, and work your _hardest_. You haven't proven your words, Potter! And just in case you didn't pick this up already, I am _bloody_ _angry_ at you! If you think you can hex anyone that passes you by, you've got another damn thing coming!"

That had rendered James speechless for the first time he could ever remember. The rest of that patrol had been awkward because neither of them talked to each other. The next day, however, James had restrained himself from hexing Snape as he and Remus once again passed by. Instead, Snape took the initiative to hex James, to which Lily shot him one of the coldest glares James had ever seen. It was a wonder Snape didn't freeze over. Lily forgave James a bit that day as James had not tried to hex Snape back. Now the two were slowly rebuilding the civility that they had gained before their spat.

"How much time do we have left?" James asked.

"Another hour," Lily replied.

James groaned. "How are you not bored? How do you actually enjoy patrol?"

She shot him a glare.

"Just being truthful," James said, raising his hands defensively.

"It's not because of you, for sure," Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"Ouch," James said, grinning.

Lily grinned as well. "Oh, it's probably because I enjoy the responsibility and I'm odd like that."

"Yeah?"

Lily laughed. "Yeah. Just like with-"

"Your shoulder," James finished.

"Yeah," Lily said slowly, and their eyes met for the first time. James had never stared straight into Lily's sparkling green eyes, especially not when she was, for once, not mad at him. Lily broke the eye contact first, and returned to a habit that she had not done in weeks – staring at the ceiling.

The rest of the patrol was eventless, and the two Heads didn't really talk much to each other. Lily was relieved when she looked at her watch and realized that their patrol was over. They parted way as usual in the Gryffindor common room, knowing full well that they would always see each other the next day.

* * *

Peter was stalling. He didn't want to unpack his luggage, knowing full well that it came from home. His vacation had not been much of a vacation at all. He was so miserable over his mother's anguish and his father's death that he had grown paler and a bit thinner. More people had been murdered during the summer, and Peter was sick just thinking about it. A couple more kids had been pulled away from Hogwarts, and Peter had a sinking feeling that he would probably never see them again.

But finally, after three weeks of his friends fussing over him, he decided that he needed simply to put the past behind him. He started eating again, and his skin color returned to him. But he had been stalling in his unpacking. All his items and clothes outside of his school robes reminded him of the past summer, and he didn't want to deal with it.

With the date with Lauren in an hour, he needed to finally dig up something that he hadn't been wearing for the past three weeks. Sighing, he finally opened his trunk and began unpacking. James was on patrol, Remus was on patrol, and Sirius was off somewhere with a girl named Annelise.

As he unpacked his clothing, he saw something that he didn't recognize, and frowned. Examining the object closely, he realized that he had seen in a year ago when he was unpacking his things as well. Heart pounding faster, he realized that it was a circular box.

Peter looked wildly around the room for something to pry it open, but he didn't need to. As soon as hr touched the lid, it opened almost automatically. Confused, Peter reached inside the tiny box and pulled out a tiny scroll. As he opened it, his eyes widened.

_Dear Mr. Pettigrew:_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the Secret Slytherin Club. Your initiation starts in September, 1976._

_The Slytherin Club_

Peter's eyes furrowed. 1976? That was last year. Breathing a sigh of relief, he looked at the scroll again with contempt. No doubt his father had put it there last year, hoping he would find it and join the so-called club. Peter shook his head in disbelief. He wasn't even a Slytherin, for goodness sake.

_I have no reason to go_, Peter thought, convincing himself. _I have Lauren and the Marauders, and that's all that matters._

And with that, he stuck the scroll roughly back inside the tiny box, closed the box, and threw it into a corner of his trunk and buried it with clothes.

He didn't realized how long unpacking took, and saw that he only had ten minutes left before he was supposed to meet Lauren in the common room. Swearing a bit, he pulled out random pieces of clothing, threw them on, and flew down the stairs to meet Lauren.

She was there, waiting for him and smiling. "Hi, Peter."

"Hello yourself," he said, smiling at her. "Shall we go?" He offered his hand.

She took it. "Yup, let's go."

It was an hour before curfew and the castle was relatively empty except for those on patrol. The seventh years did have a more extended curfew than the rest, so Peter and Lauren were allowed to walk around the castle in relative peace. As they walked, holding hands, they came upon a few prefects every now and then. They passed by Remus and a Hufflepuff, who were patrolling together. They also passed by James and Lily, who were determinedly not looking at each other.

Finally, after climbing flights of stairs, Peter and Lauren reached their destination: the Astronomy Tower. Peter helped Lauren up and they stepped into the brisk, cool night air.

It was a clear night. The inky sky was punctured with bright stars that glowed, and the moon was almost full. Wisps of clouds covered the moon, but it shined through brightly. Peter shivered a bit, thinking about Remus and his transformation.

"It's beautiful," Lauren said softly.

"I know," Peter smiled. "This is why I miss Hogwarts, being up here with you."

Lauren smiled. "Aw, thanks, Peter."

"I mean it," Peter said. "So how has your Seventh Year been so far?

"Relatively good," Lauren said. "We've all been so busy."

"I know," Peter sighed. "I feel like I haven't gotten to talk to you since before break."

"Yeah," Lauren said, smiling sadly. "How is your mother? She must be pretty sad about the loss of your father."

"She is," Peter said quietly. "They really did love each other."

"I'm sorry, Peter," Lauren said. "Are you okay, though?"

"Yeah," Peter replied. "At least, I think I am."

The two stood for what seemed like forever on the Astronomy tower, talking about life and admiring the beautiful view. Suddenly, Lauren broke out into a sob.

"Lauren, what's wrong?" Peter asked, alarmed.

"No, nothing," she said, forcing a smile. "I'm-no, nothing."

"Are you sure?" Peter asked concernedly.

"Yeah," Lauren replied, trying to stop sobbing.

Peter put his arm around her. They both stayed up in the astronomy tower for another while, and then Peter knew that it was time to head on back to the common room. Their curfew was coming up, and Peter was sure that if they ran into Snape he would not be as nice as Remus or James.

As they started to head out of the Tower, Lauren let out another sob. This time, Peter knew something was really wrong. "Lauren," he said softly. "What is it? I know it's not nothing."

She took a deep breath. "My parents are pulling me out of Hogwarts," she said quickly.

There was a long moment of silence, broken only when Lauren let out another sob.

Peter slowly felt his heart sink. "What?" he croaked out.

"They're pulling me out," she repeated, tears now falling freely. "They're the overprotective type, and if we were to die…" she gulped. "They want the family to die together."

"What?" Peter said disbelievingly. "B-But they can't! What about your friends here?" Peter bit his lip. "What about me?" he finally croaked out in a whisper.

Lauren shook her head sadly. "I know, Peter, I know. I've tried talking to them, but they won't budge."

She looked about ready to collapse. Peter felt tears welling up in his eyes too, but he wanted to be strong for her. She let her head rest on his shoulder, still crying uncontrollably.

"So what're you going to do?" Peter asked finally, voice void of any emotion.

"I don't know," she whispered, shaking her head. "I don't know."

Peter patted her shoulder softly. "Did you tell Mary and Rachael yet?" he asked quietly.

"They already know," Lauren said weakly. "I really didn't want to tell you this, Peter. I put it off as long as possible. Maybe I should have told you sooner."

"It's alright," Peter managed sadly, forcing a smile. "Better late than never."

Lauren let out a weak laugh. "But I'm not alone," she said, sobering up. "Rachael's parents have been considering pulling her out too. By the looks of it, she'll be gone by Christmas."

Peter shook his head. "This war…"

"It's terrible," Lauren said, biting her lip. "But what can we do, right?"

Peter wavered for a moment, dreading the question he was about to ask. "So when are you leaving?" he finally spurted out.

Lauren didn't look at him. "Tomorrow," she finally said in a whisper.

Peter felt his knees give out a bit from under him. "Tomorrow?" he repeated, eyes wide.

"Don't worry," Lauren said hastily. "I'll really only be going back to England. We can still see each other during Christmas break, Peter."

"Yeah, that's true," Peter said, heart lifting a bit. "Yeah."

"And after you graduate school, we can start seeing each other again," she said, voice rising a bit. "It'll be okay, Peter. I promise."

Peter felt his breathing become easier. "Yeah," he said again. "It'll be fine."

He knew that by this time, it was way past curfew, and the longer they stayed on that tower the larger their chances of getting in deep trouble. But he didn't care. Not this night. He would give all of time to spend one last night with Lauren.

As they looked out into the starry night, Lauren put her hand in his. Her silent tears were still dripping onto Peter's shoulder, but he didn't care.

"I love you," she said suddenly, lifting her head up, breaking the silence.

Peter turned to stare at her, at a loss for words.

"I love you," she repeated, a smiled lighting up her face.

Dumbfounded, Peter felt himself smiling as well. The gripping sadness he had felt suddenly exploded into a whirlwind of happiness and some disbelief as he just realized what she had said. Unable to speak for a couple of moments, he finally was able to pry his mouth open, still overwhelmed with joy. "I love you too."

* * *

"Uh, Lily," James said, sitting himself down next to Lily and Marcella during lunchtime.

"Hello," Lily said, frowning a bit. "What's wrong?"

"How d'you know something's wrong?" James said. "Maybe I just came over here to say hi."

Lily looked at him, one eyebrow raised. "I don't think so."

Marcella stifled a laugh.

"Well anyway," James said, nonplussed. "I have a-a bit of a favor to ask."

"Okay," Lily said, putting down her fork and turning to look intently at him. "What's wrong?"

"Why d'you think something's wrong?" James said, peeved.

"Because that's the only reason you'd give up your lunch period to come talk to me," Lily said. "Now tell me before I refuse to help you."

James couldn't help but grin. "Okay. Tonight, I can't do patrol. Can you cover for me?"

"Why?" Lily asked suspiciously.

James took a deep breath, thinking of the excuse Sirius had helped him think up. "Well, you know that there's a huge Defense test tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah," Lily said.

"I promised Peter I would help him study for it. I really, really don't want to see him fail that class after he's worked so hard to scrape by these past years," James said in one breath.

Lily narrowed her eyes. "And when did you make this promise?"

James faltered. "A couple of weeks ago, sometime around there."

"And you made that promise knowing full well that you have patrol every day?"

"Well, I thought maybe Dumbledore was kidding," James said, grimacing at the lame excuse in spite of himself.

"Really," Lily said dryly. "Well that just shows me how seriously you take the job."

"No!" James said defensively. "It's not like that at all. At the time I really did think he was joking, because I didn't take the job as seriously. But now I really see what it entails." James moved himself closer to Lily. "Please," he said quietly. "Please, Lily."

"Is Remus taking time off of Prefect duties today as well?" Lily asked.

"Why would you say that?" James asked quickly.

"I would have thought that he would be helping Peter as well."

"Oh," James breathed. "No, he doesn't have duty today."

"Right," Lily said. There was a moment of silence.

"Lily, I am literally begging you," James said with a hint of desperation in his voice. "Please."

"Lily, just cover for him," Marcella spoke up.

Lily shot a look at her friend. Marcella stared at her right back. "Come on, Lily. Is it that much trouble? From what I hear, nothing ever happens on patrol anyway."

There was another moment of silence.

"Oh alright, Potter, I'll cover for you," Lily said at last. "But you owe me."

"Thank you so much, Lily," James said, relieved. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"Stop your groveling," Lily said, letting out a laugh.

James walked away from Lily and Marcella, feeling happy that he would be able to accompany Remus on his journey tonight, and happier that Lily had agreed to help him. He could swear he felt a playful little push from Lily, and felt his heart begin to beat faster.

"Why did it take you so long to decide whether to help him out or not?" Marcella said, gulping down the rest of her juice as James returned to the rest of the Marauders.

"I wanted to make sure that he wasn't trying to simply ditch," Lily shrugged. "It seems like he was honest enough. We do have that test tomorrow, so his excuse was at least valid."

Marcella smiled in spite of herself. "Is he really that bad of a person, Lily?"

Lily shrugged, but then grinned at Marcella. "Nah. Potter's not that bad. Well, at least not as bad as I first thought he would be."

Marcella laughed. "You're a hard one to please."

"And I should be!" Lily said, laughing as well. "He's been a complete jerk for six years, and I'm not going to let him off the hook just because he's been civil for three weeks! And these three weeks he hasn't been a complete angel either. That whole thing with cursing Snape… that made me so _mad_."

"Yeah, well, it's James and Snape. They've had a feud since, I don't know, first year," Marcella said lightly.

Lily shrugged. "Eh. At least he hasn't tried to hex me. That's a plus."

Marcella laughed again.

Over at the place the Marauders were sitting, Sirius was intently watching the two girls and James, though he could not hear what they were saying. He finally saw Lily laugh and sighed in relief, knowing that probably it was a good laugh. Then, he saw James leave the table, and felt himself breathe a bit easier. But his eyes didn't follow James back to the table, where Remus and Peter were anxiously awaiting the news. His eyes lingered on Marcella chatting gaily to Lily, and he felt himself smile for an unknown reason.

"So what'd she say?" Remus asked intently. Sirius whipped around to find James grinning at the three of them.

"She said she'll cover for me," James said. "Our plan shall go on, gentlemen."

Peter clapped enthusiastically.

"Hey Wormtail," James said quietly, sitting back down beside his friends. "Is Lauren still leaving today?"

Immediately sobering up, Peter nodded slowly.

"It's alright mate, you'll get through it," Remus said sympathetically.

"You can visit her over Christmas," Sirius shrugged. "It's not that big of a deal, really."

"But she won't be here anymore," Peter said sadly. "I can't see her every day."

James and Remus smiled at him bracingly.

"Well, since it is her last day here, why don't you go over to sit with her? It's her last lunch at Hogwarts," Remus suggested.

Peter smiled sadly. "I guess you're right, Moony. Thanks." Slowly, Peter got to his feet and made his way towards Lauren, Mary and Rachael, dreading the moment that he'll have to say goodbye to the girl he loved.

"Poor guy," Remus sighed as he watched Peter sit down beside Lauren.

"Yeah, I really do feel bad for him," James said quietly. "I mean, those two really do like each other."

"Right," Sirius said in a bored voice. "Can we go over our plans for tonight? You know, if we're going into the forest, or into Hogsmeade?"

"We can do forest again," James shrugged. "As long as we're careful."

"Whoa, whoa," Sirius said, laughing. "Prongs, you're beginning to sound like Moony."

"Well, I just think we ought to be careful!" James said defensively. "There's nothing wrong with that. Maybe we shouldn't go into the forest at all."

"No, don't give me this 'careful' talk, James," Sirius said, suddenly angry. "You were the one that thought up of Animagi in the first place! Ever since you've become Head Boy, you've been reluctant to do anything against the rules, to go on our nightly escapades. It's been three bloody weeks and what's been built up over six years, including our map and us being Marauders…doesn't that matter anymore?"

"Of course it does," James said stonily. "But having responsibilities and being Head Boy matters too, and-"

"You won't hex first years anymore, and you don't even curse Snape as regularly," Sirius said bitterly.

"Yeah, well, Lily got very angry-" James started indignantly.

"Who are you?" Sirius said quietly, cutting him off.

The two glared at each other for a moment. Then, with a sudden jerk, Sirius picked up his bags, swung his leg over the bench, and stormed out of the Great Hall.

"Moony, please tell me what just happened," James said, dumbfounded.

Remus, to James's surprise, sighed. "You don't see it, Prongs."

"See what?" James asked.

"You're maturing. Oh, not too much," Remus said, trying not to laugh at the horrified expression on James's face. "Definitely not much, but enough where Sirius can see a difference. He doesn't want to lose his best friend, James, not to a bunch of rules and responsibilities. He doesn't want to lose the one who'll always risk anything to break the rules with him."

"_Best_ friend?" James said, frowning. "I don't think Sirius and me are _best_ friends, I think we're all equally close."

Remus shook his head, smiling sadly all the same. "You two definitely are best friends. Peter and I see it. I'm too much of a rule-lover, and Peter… well, he's not as brave as you two. I guess I'm not either."

"Remus…" James started.

"It's okay, Prongs." Remus smiled reassuringly. "It's fine."

The bell rang at that moment, breaking up the conversation.

That night, Peter returned to the dormitory both silent and sad, after having just waved goodbye to Lauren, who promised to write regularly to him. James and Sirius were waiting for him with the map clutched in Sirius's hands, though the two were refusing to look at each other. Peter thought it would be best if he didn't ask what the problem was. The three silently let themselves out of the common room and headed down to the Whomping Willow. As routine, Peter froze the tree and then the other two dived in after him.

Remus was waiting for them in the Shack. James routinely looked over the map to make sure that mo one had followed them and the four stood in the living room, tensely awaiting the arrival of the moon.

Once Remus had transformed, Sirius dived at the wolf first. This time, it was much, much quicker than usual to subdue the wolf inside and expose Remus. Surprised but pleased, James led the way…not through the hole in the house, but through the tunnel.

Padfoot frowned. He thought that James did not want to go back on the Hogwarts grounds in the talk they had at lunch, but apparently he was wrong. Holding the map gently in between his teeth, Padfoot followed Wormtail and Moony out into the tunnel and headed for the safety of the Forbidden Forest, however ironic that might be.

The rest of the night passed without too much trouble. The four literally sat and play-wrestled for a bit in the forest. Padfoot and Prongs refused to look at each other, and Moony was more subdued than usual. Wormtail ran around, squeaking incessantly until Padfoot smacked him with his paw. Thankfully, the moon was not too bright in shining, but James had a feeling that even if it was, Remus would not be too hard to bring back. The monster seemed subdued, just like Remus.

They headed back to the Shack earlier than usual, when the sky was still dark. For the first time in a long time, Moony actually fell asleep in the living room of the Shack. That hadn't happened since the time Rosmerta caught sounds of them in Hogsmeade. Feeling that it was indeed safe to transform back into human form, Peter, James and Sirius headed as far away as they could from the sleeping wolf and transformed.

Tiny parts of the sun could be seen, just enough to lightly illuminate the night. Peter, Sirius and James plopped down on the floor. Though it was a rather uneventful night, James and Sirius were still exhausted. The silence was unnerving, and only disturbed by the occasional rustling of Peter on the floor or Remus in his sleep. Eventually, Peter too fell asleep on the floor.

Sirius looked over at James, who was staring out a window, and sighed to himself. His best mate was no longer the giddy little boy that had asked to sit beside him on the train on the first day of school. His face seemed older, and the shadows seemed darker. The smile was still there, but sometimes it seemed a bit strained. But then again, they were all strained, strained for time, struggling for life among death. They weren't kids anymore. But Sirius knew that he didn't want to admit that. He didn't want to say goodbye to joy, to laughter…and trade it for somber mourning.

But James had already taken the fist step. Though the Head Boy position didn't change him that much, Sirius for once realized that he could not catch up to James. But he didn't want to lose his best friend.

"James," he whispered. "Prongs!"

James turned to looked at him, expression unreadable.

"I'm sorry," Sirius started. "I didn't mean-"

"Forget it," James said, cutting in. "It's alright."

"Prongs-"

"Forget it," James repeated, smiling a bit. "There's nothing to forgive. I didn't realize I was being a bit of a prick until Remus talked me down. I've been a hypocrite, Padfoot, but you do have to realize that we are…well, growing up a bit."

"I know," Sirius said, crinkling his nose.

James laughed quietly, and Sirius knew that everything was alright with them. The two spent the rest of the morning laughing quietly at random doings.

"Can we check the map?" James said at last. "I think it's about time for Pomfrey to be coming." He glanced over at Remus, who was no longer a wolf, but a Seventh Year sleeping on the ground.

"Sure," Sirius said. He said the password, and saw Madam Pomfrey's dot heading out of the hospital wing.

"Good call, Prongs," Sirius said. "She's coming, but she's still in the castle. We have plenty of time."

The two woke up Peter and then the three scrambled upstairs and hid in one of the bedrooms. Madam Pomfrey arrived eventually and helped Remus out of the room, marveling at the fact that he only had a couple of scratches on his body.

Glad that they were friends again, Sirius and James headed out of the tunnel with Peter, beaming.

* * *

Peter sat at the Great Hall during breakfast, eagerly awaiting any mail. Lauren had promised that she would write to him as soon as she arrived at home, and Peter really wanted to talk to her, even if it was only by owl post.

"Wormtail's anxious," Remus laughed, sitting himself down beside Peter.

"Moony!" James said, surprised, almost spitting out his bacon. "They really let you out early this time, didn't they?"

"Yeah, only two hours in the hospital wing, where they didn't treat me at all, really. I think Madam Pomfrey healed my three cuts and then kept me there for the hour and fifty-nine minutes for I have no idea why," Remus said dryly.

Sirius laughed, and almost choked on his eggs.

Remus and James thumped him in the back, and soon Sirius was grinning, though his face was a bit red.

"Wormtail's waiting for a letter from Lauren," James said once things calmed down a bit.

"Ah, that's why he's so anxious, then," Remus laughed.

A flock of owls suddenly came shooting in. Peter looked up eagerly, and positively beamed when a brown owl that he realized was Lauren's swooped down and dropped a letter in front of him. He tore it open and unfolded it, hands shaking with excitement.

Remus watched Peter closely as Peter read the letter. James and Sirius were obviously not paying attention to the letter. James was watching amusedly as Sirius attempted to make flirty eye contact with Marcella from across the long table (and failing miserably). Marcella was avoiding his gaze, though James could tell she was suppressing her laughter. Lily finally shot the boys a merciless gaze, to which James let out a snort of laughter. That earned him a glare from Lily.

They didn't notice when Peter dropped the letter in shock, and they didn't notice when he shakily stood up from the table and walked quickly out of the Great Hall. They only noticed something was wrong when Remus stood up abruptly as well, and tried to chase Peter without causing too much of a distraction.

"Let's go," James said quietly to Sirius.

"Hold on," Sirius said, and picked up from the floor the letter that Peter had been reading.

The two friends promptly exited the Great Hall as well, this time causing many curious stares. They headed straight up to the common room. Sure enough, as the portrait swung open, the common room revealed a rather defeated-looking Peter with Remus trying to talk to his friend.

"Alright, what's wrong," Sirius said, sitting himself down on the floor beside the couch where Peter was sitting. "I picked this up." He held up the letter.

Peter shot a sad look at the letter. "Burn it," he said tonelessly.

"What's wrong, Wormtail?" James asked cautiously. "We didn't want to read your letter without your consent.

Peter gestured to Remus, who understood that he was to tell the others what had happened. "Lauren wrote a letter saying that her family is moving."

"Oh," Sirius said, frowning. "That doesn't sound so bad."

"Well it gets worse," Remus sighed. "For one, they're moving out of the country."

"Oh," James said, grimacing. "Wow."

"And her parents are also forbidding her to send out any letters, in fear that they would correspond to anybody in Britain and send Voldemort after them."

"That's absurd!" James said, frowning.

"I know," Peter sighed. "But she can't write anymore letters to me, and she's hinting that I shouldn't write anymore to her either. I don't want to get her in trouble…"

"So is it over between you guys?" Sirius asked.

James kicked him in the leg. Sirius was always so insensitive at the wrong moments.

"Not officially," Peter said sadly. "Who knows? Maybe there's still hope for us. Maybe someday…"

The four friends sat silently, not knowing what to do or say.

Later, as Peter sat alone in the dormitory during dinnertime, he felt like crying. Not even Remus could persuade him to go down to eat. He wasn't hungry.

Hands trembling, he pulled out his suitcase and his hand reached for the little box with the invitation. It opened slowly when he tapped the top. Peter stared at the little scroll until his eyes watered. Then, with a force, he snapped it shut and threw it as hard as he could into the bottom of his trunk, hoping it would break. No such luck. The dull thud just seemed to echo how empty Peter felt at the moment.

And Peter felt emptier than he had his entire life.


	50. One Last Chance

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the relatively late update. I think I rewrote this chapter three times because I was never satisfied with it. Overall, now I think I'm alright with it.

Alright, so I couldn't wait another chapter before coming full on with Lily/James. Call me excited, because I am, so this is a chapter of romance and general happiness, but as a warning, it's pretty crazy. I had a lot of fun writing the chapter, though, and it's a bit shorter than usual, but I hope you enjoy it! And by the way, fiftieth chapter! Yay!

And once again, thanks so, so much to everybody who reads and reviews! Thanks to MaraudingChick, CarmenElizabeth, elizabeth bentwin, DSK, kendra-the hyper one, living-is-easy-with-eyes-closed, brona, glory boots, Padfootz-luvr, RitaSkeeterGossip (five times!), miwako, Seriously Moony, and Young Prewett!

And a special thanks to RitaSkeeterGossip, whose great constructive criticism I take deeply to heart, and I'll go back and fix some of the earlier chapters soon! Thanks so much!

* * *

_October-November, 1976_

* * *

One Last Chance

Winter was descending upon the Hogwarts students. Slowly but surely, the leaves began to fall from the trees, leaving them looking cold and barren. Inside, however, the castle was as warm and inviting as ever, especially in the middle of all the warfare. Inside the castle everybody felt safe.

James and Lily had gotten quite used to each other during their patrols. They rarely argued nowadays, though awkward moments were still plenty. Even Lily had to admit to Marcella that she may have exaggerated about James's incompetence over the past years, earning a winning grin from Marcella, which made Lily want to both scowl and laugh.

The only problem was that James had run out of excuses fast for leaving on full moon nights. His last excuse was an extremely hurt leg from Quidditch practice. Lily got more and more suspicious every time, though she always ended up covering for him. James was worried that Lily might figure out a pattern to the nights he was gone. Then, he and the marauders would be screwed.

"Okay, so Sirius," James said grinning. "He really isn't that bad, you know."

Lily looked at him skeptically. The two were patrolling together…again. Lily had almost come to enjoy the patrols. James made her laugh easily, and he was always eager to strike up a conversation. She hated herself for it, but she really thought that the two of them had become friends, at last.

"No, really," James said earnestly. "He's just had…problems with his family."

"I heard," Lily said.

"From who?" James frowned. "Not Snape, right?"

Lily laughed. "No, no. From Remus, back when you still needed him to get you out of trouble."

"Oh," James said, grinning. "Yeah. Well I think now I would take back ninety-five percent of my petty crimes committed against students."

"Would you?" Lily said skeptically.

"Maybe," James said, grinning charmingly at her.

"Oh stop it, Potter," Lily said, rolling her eyes. James felt sort of let down as she called him by his last name. He had hoped that they were making progress into the first-name zone, which he had accomplished for the patrol…up until that point.

The problem was that James really, really liked Lily…again. But it wasn't superficial like it used to be. Of course her hair and her eyes were as brilliant as ever, but he liked her now because of her biting wit, her confidence, her charm, and her determination to make anything work. He had never met a girl who was so sarcastic and yet stole his heart from him every single time they locked eyes.

James very consciously checked his watch to patch the silence. "Are we done for today?"

Lily shook her head. "Didn't you get the notice about the Hogsmeade weekend? We have to decide a date for it."

"Oh yeah, I forgot," James said, smacking his head.

"Smart," Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm sorry," James said truthfully.

Lily smiled. "It's alright. Look, I interviewed some people, and they said that two weeks from now would be a good time. What do you think?"

James nodded. "Sure."

"Are you sure?" Lily asked, peering at him closely. "I want this Hogsmeade weekend to work for everybody, or as close to everybody as it can be."

"It's fine with me," James shrugged. "I don't have a problem with it."

"Alright," Lily said. "We'd better go and tell McGonagall. Then we need to post the news on the message boards."

"Lovely," James said, groaning.

Lily laughed.

The two headed to McGonagall's office and slipped a note under the door. Then, they headed to the notice board.

"Do we even get to go to Hogsmeade?" James said frowning. "We do have patrol every night."

"They give us a break on Hogsmeade weekends," Lily said. "Emmeline told me years back, I still remember."

"Oh," James said, and the two walked along in silence.

"You know, Slughorn's going to be throwing a party next Hogsmeade weekend," Lily said suddenly.

"Really?" James frowned jokingly. "How come I wasn't invited?"

Lily laughed. "To be fair, he hasn't had one of these since I believe our third year."

"Why?" James asked.

"Oh, because of Voldemort and everything," Lily said shrugging. James did a double-take. Lily had just said Voldemort's name. He didn't know anybody other than his parents, Sirius and Remus who actually said 'Voldemort'. "I don't think he was in the mood." Lily continued. "But this year he apparently feels that cheering up is needed."

James searched his memory. He did remember Remus telling him about one of Slughorn's parties, a long, long time ago.

"I heard you need a date to get in?" he said questioningly.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Nah, that rumor was going around for a while. But no, generally they're only restricted to his little club. I've been to the smaller parties in his office, but I heard the big ones were really elaborate."

"Oh," James said. "What d'you do in his little club anyway?"

"Go to parties," Lily said, grinning. "He has the oddest people in the room. There's been vampires and Quidditch players…everyone."

"Quidditch players?" James said, astounded. "Wow."

"They're pretty nice, I guess, but I don't usually go to them," Lily said, shrugging.

"Then are you going to the one this Hogsmeade weekend?" James asked as they turned a corner.

"Maybe if somebody asked me," Lily said. "I'm not going alone."

"Oh," James said.

Lily sort of braced herself then for James to ask her to the party. After all, he had tried (and failed) many times in the past. But this time she thought she might actually consider it. James Potter wasn't that bad, and who knows, maybe he could be even easier to talk to outside of patrol. He was careful around her, and she saw that he was trying really hard to get the job right. He was not only respectful to her, but he could also make her laugh. And she really, really did want to go to that party, but she really didn't want to go alone either.

But James didn't ask her to the party. In fact, he changed tack top-speed and they went on to talk about, of all things, _gnarls_. They finally reached the notice board and posted a message for the date of the next Hogsmeade weekend. After clambering through the portrait hole, they were alone in the common room once again. James gave her a smile, then waved and headed up to his dormitory.

Lily stayed in the common room for a little bit. She felt a bit let down that James didn't ask her to the party, but that was absurd! Shaking her head, Lily tried to convince herself that she had simply temporarily lost her mind when wanting James to ask her, but in the end, she sighed.

"Oh alright," she said out loud to no one in particular. "I did want him to ask me, alright? So I was curious to what he might be like when we're not in patrol, and I really want to go to that party. Now leave me alone."

And with that, she headed up to the girls' dormitories, still grumbling and shaking her head.

* * *

"So _why_ didn't you just ask her to the bloody party?" Sirius asked loudly.

"Padfoot, don't," James groaned.

"You've never been afraid of it in the past," Sirius said, now pacing the room. "I'm really curious! Tell, me, Prongs, my head's going to explode!"

James laughed.

"Are you afraid of asking her?" Remus said from his bed. He was flipping through a transfiguration book.

"No!" James said defensively. "Why would I be afraid?"

Remus closed his book and shot him a knowing look.

"Okay, well maybe," James mumbled.

"What do you have to be afraid of?" Peter asked. "I'm sure she'd say yes."

"Maybe she was hinting at it little bit," James said. "But still, I'm scared that she'll say no."

"Are you still afraid of being rejected?" Sirius said, grinning.

"I was never!" James said, mocking a look of shock.

Peter, Remus and Sirius laughed.

"Well, I don't know," James said, voice getting quieter. "I really like her. I mean, I really, really like her. I feel like this is pretty much my last opportunity to ask her out, and I don't want to blow it." He sighed. "Maybe I'll wait. Maybe I'll ask her after Christmas or something."

Sirius gaped at his friend. "Mate, you can't wait that long, some other guy will have asked her out by then."

"Who?" James said, frowning. "Is anyone else going to ask her?"

"Calm down, mate," Remus said. "But she is really very popular."

James sighed. "I don't want to blow it."

"Prongs," Sirius said. "Listen. You've liked this girl since our first year. First year! And from what I hear, you two are getting along quite well. Just go for it. She won't say no. Didn't she say she didn't want to go to that party alone? Just think of it as you doing her a favor."

James grinned a bit. "I still think I'm going to wait until after winter break, maybe until graduation, I don't know."

"I'm not going to watch you two stretch it out until you're both forty," Sirius said irritably.

"This is an interesting turnaround," Remus said, amused. "In the past years we've always been the ones telling James _not_ to ask her while he went ahead and did it anyway."

"Yeah," Sirius said impatiently. "Well anyway, mate, if you're not going to ask her, I will."

James just laughed. "Yeah, right. Go ahead, Padfoot."

Sirius shrugged, but didn't say anything else.

* * *

By the time their latest patrol was over, it was two days away from Hogsmeade weekend, and Lily was getting slightly fed up with James. She knew that she was probably being unreasonable, but she had expected him to ask her to the party already. He had never wasted a chance before, and she didn't think she could stand it any longer.

In talking it over with Marcella earlier that day, Marcella suggested that Lily ask James herself. But Lily didn't want to do it.

"What if the reason that he won't ask me is because he doesn't like me?" she had moaned.

"I'm sure he does," Marcella had said soothingly. "I think he would have asked you out first year if he had the chance."

"But what if he doesn't like me now?" Lily had frowned. "I _have_ been kind of mean to him…"

"Lily Evans!" Marcella had said, shocked. "A month ago you were assuring me that you still thought he was annoying, and a week ago you told me that you only slightly wanted him to ask you."

"Alright, so I changed my opinion," Lily said grumpily.

Marcella laughed. "What caused this sudden turnaround?"

"I'm curious about him," Lily had said, shrugging. "Well, I was curious a week ago, but now I guess I'm really curious. He's changed a lot. He's not that arrogant prick anymore, and he's actually trying his hardest to be Head Boy. I don't think he's gotten more than two detentions this year." She sighed. "And if he's willing to change that much to fit the job, then I do believe that he can at least mold himself around, you know, a relationship of some kind. But if he does ask me, then I'm only giving him one chance," Lily added. "The moment he tries to hex me, I'm out of there."

"Whoa, Lily, he hasn't asked you yet."

Lily had sighed inwardly, both disappointed and angry at herself. "I know."

"You're not going to try and change him, are you?" Marcella had said, peering at her. "We do still need our Quidditch Captain."

"No," Lily said, shaking her head. "Of course not. But meeting halfway is a good sort of mediator. And I never realized how funny he could be. The awkward moments are still there, but, you know, the laughs make up for it."

She paused, and smiled a bit. "Plus, he's good looking - I mean, as far as looks go, he's not bad," she quickly added, as Marcella smirked at her. "Oh don't give me that look. You know it's true." Her face was flushed.

Marcella smiled. "You really want him to ask you, don't you."

It wasn't a question. Lily had smiled grudgingly. "I guess. Potter grows on me like fungus."

But by the end of this patrol, James still hadn't asked her, and she was beginning to wonder if she was wasting her energy hoping all the time. Many times throughout patrol, she wondered why on _earth_ she was hoping he would ask her. But the more she tried to convince herself that she didn't have growing feelings for him, the more she knew what a lie felt like.

"I am losing my mind," she muttered to herself.

"What?" James said.

"Oh, nothing," Lily said, smiling a bit. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah," James breathed. "Tomorrow."

Lily plopped herself down on the couch as James traversed up to the boys' dormitories, extremely confused. She realized that Potter had just made her undo nearly six years' worth of hatred in three months, give or take a few weeks, and now here she was, _wanting_ him to ask her out!

"What am I thinking of?" she groaned loudly. "Even if he did, he'll dump me like garbage." Burying her head into a cushion, she let out a groan.

"Evans?"

Lily shot up straight on the couch and turned to see Sirius Black coming down the stairway.

"Sirius," Lily said, frowning. "Hi."

"Hello," he said, grinning as he came and leaned against the couch. "How are you?"

"Fine," Lily said, brows furrowed even deeper now. "Look, I don't mean to be rude, but why are you here and talking to me?"

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "I actually came down here to ask you if you would like to go to the next Hogsmeade weekend with me."

It took Lily about a whole minute to register what he had just asked her. "What?" she finally said, wanting to make sure that she had heard properly.

"I wanted to know if you would like to go to the next Hogsmeade weekend with me," Sirius repeated, still grinning. "What say you?"

Still in shock, Lily stared at him. On the one hand, she was waiting for James to ask her, but she didn't know if he ever would. And she really wanted to go to that party. On the other hand…_Sirius Black_? But wait, Sirius was James's best friend! She couldn't do this to Potter…unless the two had planned this? Yes, it seemed likely that the two had talked it over and James decided that he didn't want to ask her and sent Sirius as a pity date. Filled with disappointment, Lily did the most irrational thing she could have done:

"Sure, I'd like to go with you."

"Great," Sirius said, beaming. "I'll se you around then, Evans." And with that, he headed back up to the boys' dormitories, humming like the ordeal had never happened.

Lily was still on the couch, still trying to make the event sink into her brain. Suddenly, Marcella appeared on the stairs, peering down at her. "Lily?" she said quietly. "Are you alright? I've been worried."

"I'm just…in shock," Lily said monotonously.

Marcella stepped down the stairs and sat herself down beside Lily on the couch. "Alright, Lily dearest, what's wrong?"

Lily was shaking her head in disbelief. "Sirius Black just asked me to Hogsmeade, and I accepted," Lily said, sounding like she didn't believe her own words.

Marcella sat there, also in shock. The common room was unnaturally quiet as the two girls simply stared at each other without a word.

"Marcella?" Lily asked tentatively. "Are you alright?" Suddenly, the truth smacked her in the face, and she clapped her hands over her mouth. "You like him, don't you?" she whispered. It wasn't really a question.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Marcella nodded.

"Marci, I am so sorry!" Lily said, eyes wide open. "I didn't know! Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"You always hated the lot of them except for Remus," Marcella said, shrugging. "I felt it would have been nothing more than base treachery."

"Oh my God," Lily said, covering her face with her hands. "What have I done? Alright, the first thing I'll do tomorrow is break that date with Sirius-"

"No," Marcella said firmly.

Lily took her hands off her face and looked at Marcella, confused. "What? Why?"

"You guys made a date," Marcella said simply. "Keep it. I know how much you want to go to that party, and I'm not going to let a simple crush ruin that for you."

"Marcella," Lily said. "No way. This is really important to you as well, and I'm going to cancel that date."

"Lily, it's alright," Marcella said, smiling a bit. "Trust me. Keep it, alright?"

"But-"

"Keep it."

"But-"

"Keep it," Marcella said with a tone of finality.

Lily sighed. "You're making me hate myself."

Marcella laughed. "Your best friend still loves you."

Lily smiled slowly at her. "Thanks," she finally said. And the two headed up to the dorms together, chatting and laughing.

Up in the boys' dormitories, however, things were not as calm, as James was staring at Sirius in disbelief. "You _what_?" he said, trying to keep his voice down.

"I asked her to Hogsmeade," Sirius repeated, sliding into his bed. "So what?"

"I-" James started angrily.

"Alright, James," Sirius said crossly. "Don't start giving me rules on who I should and should not date. I can bloody well ask whomever I like. And as in the case of Evans, you yourself told me I could go ahead."

"I thought you were joking!" James said incredulously. "You've known for six years that I've liked her, how could you do this?" On top of his disbelief, James was incredibly hurt, and even more offended by the fact that Sirius didn't seem to care.

"Let's not get personal, Potter," Sirius snapped before pulling the covers over his head.

"This is unbelievable," James sputtered out loud before diving under his covers as well.

Remus and Peter were staring at each other, terrified. They had both been too afraid to say anything during the conversation. "Should we do something?" Peter whispered to Remus. "Anything? They seemed pretty mad at each other."

Remus thought for a while, then shook his head. "Let them work it out," he whispered back. "I think that would be the best." Peter nodded. Then, both Remus and Peter dived under their covers as well.

* * *

It was Hogsmeade weekend and nobody was happy. James and Lily had not had one conversation during their last patrol. James felt so betrayed by Sirius that he couldn't possibly talk to Lily. Lily, on the other hand, believed that James didn't want anything to do with her, and resolved to be angry at him. Their patrol was awkward, and they only spoke to each other when it was absolutely necessary.

Sirius and James were also not speaking to each other. James felt so angry and betrayed by Sirius that he thought about not going to Hogsmeade at all until Remus talked him out of that plan. Sirius, on the other hand, remained nonchalant about the situation, as carefree as anybody could be.

James, Peter and Remus left the common room and headed down to Hogsmeade as soon as Filch would allow them, James wanting to avoid both Sirius and Lily. Marcella and Faye went with them, wishing Lily a good day. Sirius stayed in the common room and waited for Lily.

And when she did come down, even Sirius had to admit that she looked great. Dressed down in a simple sweater and black pants that fitted her obviously much better than school robes, she looked relaxed, though Sirius couldn't see that on the inside she was still regretting accepting his date invitation.

"Shall we go?" Sirius said, beaming at her.

"Uh, yeah," Lily said, trying to offer a smile that came out more of a grimace than anything else.

"Great," Sirius said enthusiastically and steered her out of the common room. All the while, Lily was wondering what the heck she had gotten herself into, but at least she was anxious to see the party.

Back down in Hogsmeade, James was moodily kicking pebbles as he went. Marcella and Peter were looking quite awkward, Faye was holding Remus's hand, while Remus was looking at James with concern. "James," he said. "James!"

"What, Moony," James muttered.

"I know you're upset about Sirius having asked Lily, but you can't go around like this forever. At least try to enjoy the day," he said reasonably.

"I can't," James said angrily. "How could Sirius ask her when he knows how I feel about it?"

"Then you should have asked her," Remus said quietly.

"Whoa, wait, back up," Marcella said suddenly. "James, _were_ you going to ask her?"

"Maybe," James sighed. "I was afraid she would say no, because then I would have blown the last chance I had to ask her out."

"So you did want to ask her?"

"Yes," James said impatiently.

Marcella smacked her head. "Lily only accepted the date with Sirius because she thought you didn't like her! She was waiting for you to ask, but you never did, so she assumed that you asked Sirius to take her because you knew she wanted to go to that party."

James stared at her. "I would never ask Sirius to take a date in my place."

"Well now we know," Marcella groaned. "This is so messed up."

"So Lily likes me?" James said slowly, both apprehensive and excited at the same time. "As in, enough to give me a chance?"

"Yes," Marcella said, smiling.

It was James's turn to smack his head. "What am I going to do?"

"I think you should tell Lily what really happened," Faye spoke up.

"I agree," Remus said, nodding. "She deserves, at the very least, to know that you like her."

"But she's known that for six years," James sighed. "How will this time be any different?"

Remus smiled at his friend. "Because this time, she likes you too."

The five friends arrived at a part of Hogsmeade around where students were gathering. Slughorn was holding his party in an empty building that he had rented out for the day, and Remus recognized members of the Slug Club arriving and passing through the door.

"Hey guys, I'm going to Scrivenshaft's," Peter said tonelessly. "I think I need a new quill."

"Alright," Remus said concernedly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Peter said, and walked off.

"There are more of them than I thought," James said, frowning. "I mean, the people who are entering Slughorn's party."

"Probably half of them are dates," Marcella said, rolling her eyes.

James and Marcella then said goodbye to Remus and Faye, who set off on their date. "You don't have to wait with me, you know," James said to her after they left.

"I know," Marcella shrugged. "But I have nothing better to do anyway."

The two launched into an exciting discussion about the last Quidditch game between Slytherin and Ravenclaw. Suddenly, Marcella noticed that Lily and Sirius were coming down the road.

"There they come," she said quietly, interrupting James.

James whipped around then looked back at Marcella, hesitant and unsure.

"Go for it," she smiled.

Taking a deep breath, James walked toward Sirius and Lily. Lily looked like she was trying hard to look like she was happy, and Sirius was simply grinning serenely at her. "Lily," James said, approaching her. "Uh, hi."

"Hello," said Lily, a bit surprised.

"Hey, Prongs," Sirius grinned. James ignored him. He didn't seem to notice.

"So can I talk to you really fast?" James breathed.

"Me?" Lily said. "Oh, okay."

Seeing that Sirius probably wasn't going to leave, James sighed. "Lily, I wanted to ask you to Hogsmeade, to the party," he said straight out. "I chickened out because I was afraid that you wouldn't go, and that I'd blow the last chance I would ever have. I really like you, and I made a huge mistake, and I just wanted you to know that."

Both Sirius and Lily stared at him for a moment in silence. Suddenly, Lily broke into a beaming smile, and wordlessly, James knew that he had done the right thing. He turned to look nervously at Sirius and was shocked to see that he too was beaming widely.

"Took you long enough, mate," Sirius said calmly.

And the truth hit James with the force of a thousand rampaging hippogriffs. James inwardly cursed himself for not seeing it directly. Sirius had intentionally asked Lily to Hogsmeade, knowing that it would spark a reaction from James and that their true feelings would come out.

"Lily, I'm sorry, can I talk to Sirius for a moment?" James asked.

"Sure," Lily said easily, and went off to join Marcella.

"Padfoot, I'm sorry," James said once she was gone. "I was so caught up in nervousness that I forgot to think properly. You would never do something like that to me."

"Hey, no problem," Sirius grinned. "Did you think I was going to sit around and watch you pine over her forever? Or, until after Christmas? Nah, something had to be done. I know you, Prongs, well, enough to predict your actions."

"I know," James said. He shot Sirius a grateful grin.

"Lily's waiting for you," Sirius said, letting out a bark-like laugh. "Hurry up, I don't want this wonderful scheme of mine to blow up in my face."

James laughed as well. "You're right. Come on, let's go."

As the two approached the two girls, James and Lily headed straight into Slughorn's party. Slughorn himself greeted Lily with a wide beaming smile. The building, which was usually empty, had been decorated to the maximum for the winter party. Bright pieces of what looked like confetti hung in midair. Ice sculptures and snow that didn't melt lined the walls, and for some reason there was a gigantic Christmas tree, though it was only November.

"Wow," James said, impressed. "I can see why you were so anxious to get to the party."

Lily looked up at him and shrugged. "Truthfully, Potter, now that I'm here, the party itself doesn't matter. What matters is the company."

James grinned cheekily down at her. "I know what you mean."

Meanwhile, outside, the sun was still shining on Hogsmeade, though it did not smother the chilly winds that blew briskly into everybody's faces. Sirius and Marcella stood next to each other outside of the party building, trying not to freeze.

"Sirius?" Marcella said at length.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for doing what you did for Lily and James."

Sirius frowned. "How did you know about that?"

"Lily told me," Marcella said simply. "She figured out what was going on about the same time James did. It was about time they got together. One more conversation about whether or not to ask him out…"

"Would have killed me," Sirius said, laughing. "I know how you feel."

"Yeah," Marcella grinned.

The two stood in silence for a while.

"I wonder if they're having a good time," Marcella said, cocking her head to the side.

"Probably," Sirius shrugged. "But nobody needs a party to have a good time."

"Yeah?" Marcella said, amused.

Sirius turned to look at her, and their eyes met. "Yeah," he said, grinning. "Come on, Marci, walk with me."

It wasn't a command, it was an invitation. Marcella grinned. "You're on."

* * *

As they walked into the common room, James and Lily were both on top of the world. They had a great time together in Slughorn's party, and when it finally ended, both of the Heads were disappointed. And finally, it was time for the two to part, though neither wanted to say goodbye.

"I had a great time," Lily said, smiling up at James.

"Me too," James said. "I feel like since I chickened out on properly asking you to the party, we need a real first date. So would you like to go with me to the next Hogsmeade weekend?"

Lily laughed. "I would love to."

They looked at each other in silence for a moment. Lily was expecting James to kiss her, but instead he gave her a hug. Then, the silence was rudely broken by the entrance of Marcella and Sirius, who looked like they'd just entered through the portrait hole while snogging each other madly.

"Oh, hello," Marcella squeaked, seeing Lily and James standing there. "I'll-uh…" Blushing furiously, she gave Sirius one last small kiss and hurried up to her dormitory.

Sirius, on the other hand, was wearing a sort of roguish grin. "Coming Prongs?" he said.

James smiled one last time at Lily and watched her go up to her dormitory. "Why'd you have to ruin our moment?" he said to Sirius after Lily had gone.

"On the contrary, you ruined the moment," Sirius grinned. "Marcella is one hell of a kisser."

"So I'm assuming you had an interesting time in Hogsmeade," James grinned.

"The best," Sirius said, stretching his arms. "Marcella's great, you know? She's got that fire."

"Yeah, it helps on the Quidditch field," James said. "So are you guys –you know- boyfriend-girlfriend?"

"I thought you knew that I didn't really _date_," Sirius said.

"Only snogging buddies," James said impatiently. "I know. But I don't think Marcella's the type of girl to stand for that."

"How d'you know?" Sirius frowned.

"Quidditch teammate," James shrugged. "I'm just warning you, mate. Be careful, alright?"

"Alright," Sirius shrugged.

"Are Remus and Faye back yet?" James asked.

Sirius shrugged. "Dunno. They should be, though."

"What about Peter?"

"I think he came back ages ago," Sirius said. "Me and Marci saw him walking back toward the castle."

"Right," James said. The two started up to their dormitory together.

"So I have to know," Sirius said, grinning. "Did you snog her?"

"Lily?" James asked.

"Who else?" Sirius said impatiently.

"Oh," James said, flushing a bit. "No."

Sirius stopped at the top of the stairs and looked at him in shock. "You _didn't_?"

James shook his head. "I think I want to wait for this one. Like I said before, I really think this is my last chance. I can't screw it up. And if it means waiting for our first, you know, kiss, then so be it."

Expecting Sirius to throw him an exasperated look, James looked at him quickly, but to James's surprise, Sirius was grinning somewhat proudly at him. "Good for you, mate," he said. "But no interfering on my part this time."

James laughed and pushed open the dormitory door. "I think you've done enough interfering for the whole school year."


	51. Eyes Wide Open

A/N: I know! How fast am I? I think I cranked this one out in three or four days. It's mainly because I've hand more spare time on my hand than usual, but still, consider this a treat.

Anyway, as to this chapter in particular, it's got a fair amount of romance and drama in it. I was relatively proud of it when I finished it. It has center on relationships, but it's not necessarily all happy. Not at all. Well, you'll see.

And again, thanks so, so much to all the readers and the reviewers! Thanks, to FairiesandDragons911, living-is-easy-with-eyes-closed, CarmenElizabeth (new puppy! Awesome!), brona, elise bentwin, MaraudingChick, Phathom (5 times! Thanks!), kendra-the hyper one, Young Prewett, glory boots, and Alexa Krystal. Thank you all so, so, so much for the awesome support. You guys rock!

* * *

_November-December, 1976_

* * *

Eyes Wide Open

Unluckily, there was a Hogsmeade weekend the day after a full moon night, and Remus was trying to recover himself in order to go out with Faye. James and Sirius were pretty much healed, but Madam Pomfrey insisted on keeping Remus in the Hospital wing until he became angry and annoyed. Finally, begrudgingly, she let him out, and he breathed a huge sigh of relief.

As he returned to the dorm, he saw James sitting on the bed looking rather frazzled and nervous, with Sirius talking to him, who seemed rather amused. "What's going on?" Remus said.

"Moony!" James said looking up. "So they did let you out."

"Thankfully," Remus said, grinning. "So what's wrong?"

"He's nervous about his date with Lily," Sirius said before James could speak. "I've been telling him that I would smack him if he said that again, so I'm speaking for him."

Remus laughed. "Prongs, you've got nothing to worry about. I mean, you guys already went out on a date once, right?"

"Well it wasn't official," James mumbled. "It was more like I cut into Sirius's date."

Remus and Sirius grinned at each other.

"You've got nothing to be worried about," Remus said firmly. "You guys are going to have a great time. Stop fussing. I don't see Sirius worrying about his date with Marci."

"It's not technically a date," Sirius said peevishly.

"Call it what you will," Remus laughed. "But I'm calling it a date."

Sirius scowled.

"Peter, are you _sure_ you're going to be alright alone?" Remus said, turning to the marauder who was sitting in a corner. "I mean, any one of us would be willing to spend the day with you, right?"

Remus received alarming looks from both James and Sirius, but he shot them a glare. Finally, grudgingly, James said, "Oh, yeah." Sirius nodded.

"No, it's really alright," Peter said, forcing a smile. "Really," he added. "I'll be completely fine. I don't mind. We're still all meeting up for lunch, right?"

"Well actually," Sirius started, but Remus gave him a sharp kick. "Of course," Sirius recovered. "Just like all the other times before." Then he gave a grimace that only James could see. James sniggered.

"Great," Peter said, giving a genuine smile, not seeming to have noticed the sarcasm in Sirius's tone.

Sirius spent the rest of the time before he, James and Remus were to go down and meet their dates by telling extremely detailed stories about the different girls he's snogged. James and Remus shot each other a look of exasperation and tried to tune him out.

"Hey Padfoot," James said suddenly, interrupting him. "Weren't you out with some girl named…I don't remember…"

"Annabelle?" Sirius said helpfully.

Remus rolled his eyes. "It was Annelisse, you prat."

"Right, her," Sirius said lightly. "Well, she has to move on."

"Obviously you have," James said. "But shouldn't you at least tell her?"

Sirius shrugged. "Nah. She'll understand."

James frowned a bit, but didn't say another word.

The time finally came for the boys to head down to Hogsmeade. Quickly, Sirius mussed up his hair, which fell back straight into place. James watched, a bit jealous, as he ruffled his own hair, which simply got messier and messier. Desperately, he conjured a comb and tried to smooth it out, but it lay hopelessly messy.

"Nice conjuring spell," Remus commented.

"Thanks," James grinned, tossing the comb aside. "It was easy to learn."

Remus shook his head and laughed. He remembered how hard he worked to learn his conjuring spell back in fifth year, when he was desperate to get some flowers for Faye. Their relationship was extremely strong, and they understood each other perfectly. Remus would admit that maybe he wasn't as good-looking at Sirius, or as confident as James, but he was happy in his relationship. He wouldn't trade it for the world.

But still, he squirmed a bit when he thought back to the conversation that he and James had at the end of sixth year. No matter how stupid it sounded, Remus was truly hoping that he would never have to tell Faye his secret. But he knew James was right. It wasn't fair to her, and he sought for the right time to tell her. But when was there a _right time_?

Shaking his head, Remus followed his friends down to the common room, where Faye was waiting. He immediately smiled brightly and leaned down to give her a kiss. She blushed a bit, but smiled happily. They weren't generally the couple to snog in public. That was a territory that Sirius was king of.

"Here they come," James said nervously to Sirius as Lily and Marcella walked down the stairs. They were chatting happily, and James saw Sirius grin. To James, Lily always looked amazing, whether she was in her school robes or in a sweater and a pair of jeans, as she was in at that moment.

"Shall we go?" James said nervously after the girls had reached him and Sirius.

"Absolutely," Marcella grinned, and she and Sirius immediately took off. James thought he saw them beginning to snog before they turned a corner and walked out of sight.

Remus shot James a look and laughed. Then he and Faye also disappeared from sight.

James looked awkwardly at Lily.

"So I think we're supposed to go now," she laughed. "I think they left us in the dust."

James smiled.

"Oh, loosen up, Potter," she said, smiling. "You look like you're being dragged into this date."

"No way!" James said loudly.

"Good," Lily said. "Then stop acting like it and loosen up. And for a Quidditch player, you move really slowly. At this rate, we're never going to get into Hogsmeade."

James laughed and shot her a deliberately charming smile that won the hearts of all the other girls in Hogwarts.

"And don't do that either," she said lightly. "Your charm's not going to melt me. I'm not easy, James Potter, and I'm not going to be like putty in your hands. Perhaps for the first time in your life, you might have to actually try on this date, when there's no party already set up."

"Is that a challenge, Ms. Evans?" James grinned.

"Maybe," Lily said, smiling a bit.

"Well then, I'd be glad to take it. Come on, I have a really special day planned out."

Lily laughed. "As soon as you get your feet moving."

James did indeed get his feet moving, and the two walked silently down to the Hogwarts Grounds, to the path to Hogsmeade. "Lily," James said at length. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," Lily said.

"Well…I was just wondering…why you hated me for six years," James said slowly.

She looked him in the eye, frowning a bit. "You really had no idea, did you," she said finally.

James shook his head. "I didn't," he said truthfully.

Lily sighed and looked away. "First impressions count a lot for me," she said at last. "And when I saw you in first year, I think I was a bit intimidated."

"Why?" James asked.

"Because you were so…good at everything," she smiled. "You, Sirius and Remus. And in my first year I was so, so scared that because I was Muggle-born, I wouldn't catch up, so I studied hard. And it seemed that you never did have to study. I was jealous, I guess, in a way. But there's more to it than that," she added.

"Go on," James urged.

"I think it really started in second year," Lily said quietly. "For you guys, I mean. The rule-breaking, the bullying…the hexing. I hated you all for that. Maybe I was too much of a goody-two-shoes, but seeing you lose the house points so easily that others struggled to earn frustrated me.

"And the bullying. You were always hexing one kid or another, and at that point I really couldn't think of you positively any more. And then there was the thing with the Amortentia, and the fights with Snape." Lily turned to look James straight in the eye, and saw that they were filled with shame. "I immediately pinpointed that behavior to how you were in all situations. I couldn't like you, James."

"I wouldn't have liked myself either," James sighed. "Looking back, those things were a bit trivial and ridiculous. But I did some of those things to impress you."

Lily looked taken aback. "Impress me?" she said gently. "James, that was the last thing that could have impressed me. If anything, it made me even more intimidated and even angrier."

"I know," James said quietly. "Well now I know. Back then it was about the power too, the popularity. But none of it seems to matter to me anymore. I don't want people to be scared of me. I think the Head Boy position has really made me realize that I can help. And I can do this."

Lily smiled. "And that's why the hatred went away. I started seeing you for the first time this year, James. I started seeing the man behind the pranks and the low jokes. I knew you would be willing to compromise for anything you cared about. But deep inside there's still that joy, that humor that won't go away. And I like it."

James smiled as well. "Thank you, Lily."

Lily reached for his hand and entwined her fingers around his. "You're welcome."

* * *

The four boys and their dates (except for Peter, who had no date) met for lunch at the Three Broomsticks. Sirius and Marcella were snogging and occasionally stopped to chat (surprise, surprise). Remus and Faye were looking slightly embarrassed to be around them, and Lily and James were simply laughing and having a good time with everybody. Peter was trying to have a good time, but Remus could tell that he felt lonely and left out a bit.

"Peter," Remus said quietly to him as James was telling everybody else a joke so that nobody heard. "Are you absolutely sure that you're alright? I mean, me and Faye could accompany you if you would like."

"No," Peter said. "No, really Moony, it's alright. I'll be fine. I don't want to ruin your date."

"You won't be," Remus said. "I know Faye wouldn't mind. If you need some company then you've got it."

"I'll be fine," Peter insisted. "I'm just looking forward to Christmastime when I can possibly talk to Lauren again."

"If you're sure," Remus said hesitantly.

"I'm sure," Peter said.

"Hey Wormtail!" James called from across the table. "What d'you think?" And instantly, he chugged a whole mug of butterbeer and his face turned bright red.

Peter laughed along with everybody else, and Remus thought that maybe his pal would be okay.

After lunch was over, James, Lily, Sirius, Marcella, and Peter set out. Remus and Faye were the last ones to leave the restaurant. While eating, Remus had accidentally stretched one of he gashes on his hand, and it started bleeding freely again. In panic, he smothered the cut with one of the napkins, not knowing that Faye was watching him intently, frowning the entire time. After his friends left, Remus gathered the coins that they had thrown on the table and added a couple sickles of his own. Then, he reached for Faye's hand and they headed out of the shop.

As they walked along the gaggle of shops, Faye accidentally ran her hand over the scar on his hand. Remus instinctively pulled his hand away.

"Sorry," Faye said quietly.

"It's alright," Remus said, giving her a smile.

The couple walked along, with Faye glancing furtively at Remus every so often. Suddenly, when the two reached the edge of the little town, Faye stopped. "Remus, I can't stand it anymore," she said loudly. "I need to know what is going on with you."

Remus paled. "What?" he croaked.

She stared straight into his eyes. "I know you say that every month you go to see your mum, but I don't believe you. I don't. I might be completely wrong and offensive right now, but there's something not right, Remus."

"You don't believe me?" Remus said, trying to sound as offended as possible.

Faye shook her head sadly. "I don't. Your mum looked perfectly healthy when I went to visit you this summer." Remus paled and wanted to smack himself for forgetting about that. "I have a hard time that she's only sick during the school year. Please, Remus, is there anything you want to tell me?"

When he remained silent, she sighed. "You might think I don't notice, but I do," Faye said quietly. "I see the scars, and I see the bruises. And for a few days every month you're increasingly moody and withdrawn, and then the days after that I don't get to see you. Something is wrong, Remus, and I need to hear it from you."

Still, Remus remained silent, but his head was reeling with confusion and uncontrolled anger at no one in particular.

"Remus," Faye said, somewhat tonelessly. "Please." She closed her eyes. "I'm worried about you. I deserve to know. I can feel that I'm not getting the truth from you, and we can't go on like this."

A sudden surge of recklessness and extreme annoyance came over Remus. "Come with me," he said to Faye, starting to lead her in the direction of the Shrieking Shack.

"Remus!" Faye said, now sounding scared. She could tell by how his face was contorted that something was terribly wrong. "Where are we going?"

"Just come!" he said, more loudly and roughly than he meant to. She followed him in fear and apprehension.

"Remus, where are we going?" Faye asked again as he tore down the road to the shrieking shack. She was running and had a hard time trying to keep up with him.

"You wanted to know, didn't you," he said loudly. "Well then, I'm going to show you what's going on." He half wanted to turn back, but he knew that it was too late. Gripping anger was still consuming him, and he hated himself for it, but he realized as he was walking that he was directing it toward Faye. He couldn't help it.

"Hurry up!" Remus said loudly. Faye was too scared to say anything, but sped up.

The two trampled on and on until Remus reached the Shrieking Shack. He opened the door with force, and Faye, now out of breath from the running, followed him into the shack. "Why are we here?" she asked, confused. "The _Shrieking Shack_?"

"You'll see," he said impatiently.

"Remus, there are ghosts that are rumored to be in here," she said nervously. "What are we doing here?"

But Remus didn't give her a chance to ponder. He wheeled towards her and sort of led her roughly to one of the walls on the shack. "Do you see this," he said, trying to control his voice as he pointed toward a splatter of blood. "And that," he said, motioning toward the torn open couch. "And that," he continued, motioning toward the severe scratches on the staircase.

Faye let out a shuddering gasp. "Are there actually ghosts in here?" she asked, frightened. "I always thought that it was a simply story, but-but…"

Then, she saw the blood on the walls. "No ghosts could have done that…" she said slowly.

"There are no ghosts here," Remus snapped. "It's all a lie. The spirits, everything is a lie. Dumbledore encouraged the rumor to hide the truth." He looked away from her. He couldn't bear to see her face. "I did this, Faye. It was me."

"You?" she asked, incredulous. "What are you talking about? You couldn't possibly have done…this."

"I certainly could have," Remus said stonily, still refusing to look at her. "If I am a werewolf."

Faye let out a silent gasp, and her eyes grew wide. It was hard to think that Remus, her Remus, was… "You're a-a werewolf?" she sputtered, eyes wide. A flicker of complete horror came into her eyes that Remus noticed when he looked back at her.

"I am," Remus said tonelessly.

"No, no, no," Faye said, shaking her head, now starting to back slowly away from him. "No, you can't be, Remus, please tell me this is a joke."

And anger like nothing else fired in Remus. "This is not a bloody joke!" he screamed. Faye looked shocked. "You wanted to know the truth about me, and here it is! Do you want to know why I didn't tell you for the past two years? I wanted to avoid this! I wanted to keep our relationship going!"

"So you were going to hide it from me forever?" Faye shouted back, now tears streaming down her face. "And I was never going to find out about it?"

He advanced toward her. "I didn't want to lose you," he croaked.

Faye let out a shuddering gasp. "You can't be a werewolf. You just can't," she whispered.

"Well too bloody bad," Remus snapped, temper flaring again. "I can't help it, alright? Do you think I want to be a werewolf? Do you think it's been easy on me? It's already been a burden on my friends!"

"So Sirius, James, and Peter know about this," she whispered.

Hesitantly, Remus nodded.

"You told them. And you were never going to tell me."

"I couldn't find the right time," Remus said. "Honestly." He tried to walk toward her, but she backed away again. Seeing that she was silent, Remus started talking to fill up the silence, but his words felt empty to him. "Now you know. That's why I'm gone every month, and that's why I come back with the scratches and scars. There are no more secrets between us now, Faye."

"You kept this from me," she said disbelievingly. "You kept something like this from me…"

"I'm sorry, alright?" Remus said, more angry at himself than at her. "I'm sorry."

"You can't be a werewolf," she whispered.

Faye seemed to be struggling with something, but Remus finally understood something in her eyes as they darted around the room, taking in the terrible scratches and the demolished furniture. Those bright blue eyes, past the tears, showed Remus something that broke his heart and tore out his soul. "You're scared of me," he said slowly.

Faye backed away further from him, crying even harder than before. "I am," she finally whispered. And before Remus could say anything, she pried open the front door and started running down the cobbled steps.

"FAYE!" Remus shouted, watching her run down the path with blurry eyes. "No, please, I love you!"

She wheeled around, already halfway down the pathway, sobbing harder than ever. "You can't love me," she said painfully. Then, she sped down the rest of the pathway and out of Remus's sight.

Feeling his anger and his strength leave him as one, Remus collapsed onto a half-standing couch. "Faye," he said weakly, stretching out a shaking hand to the door. "Please, please come back." And though he knew he was alive, his heart felt deader than ever before.

* * *

James knew something was wrong the moment he saw Faye storming back into Hogsmeade, tears still fresh on her face. He didn't dare ask her what was wrong in front of Lily, but he went on a rampage throughout Hogsmeade and found Sirius snogging Marcella in the corner of Madam Puddifoot's.

"Lily, can you please stay with Marcella?" he asked her pleadingly as they approached the couple. "I really need to go somewhere with Sirius."

"James, where are you going?" Lily asked, her eyes narrowed.

"I'll explain everything to you in due time," James said quietly. "But please, I really need to go, I'll be back as soon as possible."  
"Do you promise?" she said.

"Absolutely," James said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

Slowly, a smile lit up on Lily's face, and she reached up to touch the place where he had just kissed her. "I'll be waiting."

"Thank you," James said, relieved. It seemed ridiculous that he would give up a date with the girl of his dreams, but something was wrong with Remus. And Remus needed the Marauders. James would give anything up to help a fellow marauder.

"Padfoot, move," James snapped and dragged a very reluctant Sirius away from Marcella. Sirius waved one last time at her before turning to James as James dragged him out of the shop.

"What?" Sirius said impatiently. "You just interrupted a perfectly good time."

"Remus is in trouble," James said worriedly.

Instantly, Sirius's annoyed demeanor turned into one of seriousness. "Where is he? Let's go."

"First, we have to find Peter."

Luckily, the two boys ran into Peter on their way up to the Shrieking Shack, and the three marauders moved quickly. Neither Peter nor Sirius ever questioned how James knew something was wrong, or how James suspected where Remus might be. All they had to do was to reach their friend.

Sirius burst in through the door of the Shrieking Shack first. "Alright, Remus! We're here for you."

"Where is he?" Peter frowned.

"I'm over here," Remus said tonelessly from behind the couch.

James, Sirius and Peter went over and sat down beside him. "Remus, what's wrong?" James said quietly. "I saw Faye…"

At this, Remus closed his eyes. "I told her," he croaked out. "I thought about it, James. You were right. She does deserve to know. And I told her after she confronted me, and…"

It scared James when he saw Remus start to cry.

"What'd she say?" Sirius asked gently.

"I think she's in denial," Remus said quietly. "A little bit. But what really hurt is when she said…" he gulped. "She said she was scared of me."

And he buried his head in his hands. Sirius almost turned away. It was hard to see his friend like this.

The four sat in silence for a while. Finally, Remus lifted up his head. "I guess you were right, James," he said sorrowfully. "I guess me and Faye…we just-we're not meant to be." He sighed. "I kept hoping that she would understand… But I guess I have to just get over it, right?" Remus forced a smile. "I have to get over her."

"It'll be alright, mate," Sirius said bracingly.

"Mr. Optimistic for once, eh?" Remus said, smiling sarcastically.

Peter, James and Sirius laughed.

"D'you want to get out of here?" James asked Remus.

"I think I do," Remus nodded. "Let's go."

"We spend enough time here during full moon nights," Peter said.

"Yeah," Sirius said grinning."

As the four friends headed out of the shack, Remus suddenly frowned. "James, isn't your first official date with Lily today? And Sirius, yours with Marcella?"

"Yeah," James and Sirius shrugged simultaneously.

"Lily and Marci are really important to you guys," Remus said, frowning. "You should be back on your dates."

"They're not as important as a best friend," James said, smiling. "You'll get through this, Remus, and we'll be right beside you whenever you need us."

Taking in a deep breath, Remus smiled. "Thanks."

* * *

The rest of the day passed without further event. Sirius got back to snogging with Marcella, though she did stop for a while and ask what was going on with him. Sirius tactfully avoided the subject by simply leaning in to snog her again.

James and Lily, on the other hand, left Madam Puddifoot's as soon as James got back, and headed toward Honeydukes.

"Lily, I'm really, sorry," James said at once. "It was an emergency, and I swear it'll never happen again."

"Hey relax," she said, smiling up at him. "I trust that when it's an emergency, it's an emergency. Would you care, though, to tell me what it was?"

James closed his eyes. "Lily, I can't," he said slowly, opening his eyes. "I promise you, it's not an issue of trust at all. It concerns Remus, and I can't tell you, simply because it's not my secret to tell."

Lily looked at him for a moment, then nodded. "Fair enough. I trust you, James, and I trust Remus. If you say it's important, then it certainly must be important."

James smiled. "Thank you."

Lily laughed. "You're welcome."

James sighed dramatically. "Lily, I feel demolished."

"Why is that?" Lily said in mock concern.

"Well, my dear, it's been two dates ruined mostly by me," James said, grinning. "How will I ever make it up to you?"

Lily laughed. "By being spectacular on our third date."

"Third date?" James asked.

"Yes, third date," Lily grinned. "You see, since you asked me to, well, this one, I thought that I should take the initiative to ask you to the next Hogsmeade weekend." When James stared at her, she laughed. "Is that a no?"

"It's an absolutely yes," James beamed.

"Good," Lily smiled. "I wouldn't have taken no for an answer anyway."

The two entered Honeydukes, and James insisted on buying Lily a whole bag of Chocoballs. Lily protested, but eventually she gave in, smiling at how sweet it was for James to have remembered her favorite chocolate all the way back from their first patrol.

When it was time to go, James and Lily headed back to the castle. On the way, Sirius and Marcella passed them, and for once they weren't snogging. Instead, they were chatting and laughing happily as they went hand in hand, occasionally sharing a kiss. James looked at them in surprise. It was the first time Sirius had talked to one of his "dates" without having a fight with them. Sirius and Marci didn't even notice Lily and James.

"Well they seem like they're having fun," Lily said, laughing.

"Definitely," James grinned. "Although I think this is the most serious I've ever seen Sirius with a girl."

"That's good to hear," Lily said. "I think I was worried a bit when I heard about the day they spent in Hogsmeade. I didn't want Sirius to break her heart."

"He doesn't deliberately do it," James laughed. "He's just…I don't know. It's hard to explain."

"I know," Lily grinned. "I mean I accepted a date with him, right?"

"Only because I was too stupid to not have asked you first," James grinned.

They arrived in front of the portrait. Lily said the password, and the couple clambered through the portrait hole to find Sirius and Marcella back to snogging on a nearby couch.

Lily laughed quietly. "I had a great time, James," she said, looking straight into his eyes. Her eyes were sparkling, and James could tell she meant it.

"Me too," James smiled. "Sorry for the interruption."

"It's okay," Lily laughed. "Really."

Not sure quite what to do, James said, "Good night." Then, he leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Lily felt a little disappointed as she waved goodbye and headed up to her dormitory. It had been two dates, and James hadn't kissed her yet. But she would simply have to be patient, wouldn't she. Yes. Ad she couldn't wait for Marcella to come back to the dorm so the two could share their incredible dates.

* * *

A month passed without much incident. By this time, the winter holidays were approaching, and the Marauders were getting increasingly worried about Remus. He refused to go down to the Great Hall to eat, so Sirius, James and Peter took turns bringing food up to him at breakfast, lunch and dinner. He avoided Faye, and Faye avoided him. They seemed too traumatized to look at each other.

Lily and Marcella were also incredibly worried about Faye, but they didn't dare ask what was the matter, though they knew it probably had something to do with Remus. They realized that Faye probably just needed some time to recover, and decided that they would approach her after Christmas.

Faye herself contemplated telling the girls, but she knew that she couldn't. No matter how much she needed somebody to talk this out with, she couldn't spill Remus's secret like that. She just couldn't. She knew that it wasn't her secret to tell. But it pained her so much.

A couple of days before Remus's last full moon before Christmas, James was getting extremely worried about his friend. Remus snapped at everyone, and was constantly moody. What worried James the most was that Remus was becoming better at being Sirius than Sirius himself.

"What should we do?" Sirius asked James quietly one day. To talk away from Remus, they had bravely gone where they had tried to avoid before: the library.

"I have no idea," James sighed. "But it can't go on like this. I really liked Faye, but she hasn't been understanding of Remus at all. And Remus can't go on like this. I'm so scared that Faye will tell somebody. Then Moony's secret will be around the whole school."

They had tactfully avoided the word Moony around Remus for the last couple of days, hoping that it wouldn't bring back memories of that day in Hogsmeade.

"I know," Sirius said, and his face hardened a bit. "I just don't see why Faye didn't understand. I think she might have a right to be mad at him for not trusting her, but completely breaking his heart because of a condition he can't even control is crap."

"Yeah," James sighed. "I think we'd better brace ourselves for this full moon. I have the distinct impression that it won't be an easy one."

On the day of the full moon, Faye sat in her common room, staring out the window. Remus couldn't be a werewolf, he just couldn't… She shook her head, tears starting to well up in her eyes. She brushed them away impatiently. She had known Remus for so long, more than two years, and he had kept the secret from her…but she was terrified. She was terrified by his secret, and it hurt her more than she could have ever imagined.

Her eyes caught the full moon that was still partly hidden, and she stood up suddenly. She needed to see for herself. She needed to see Remus to believe that what he said was true. Faye stealthily crept out of the Ravenclaw common room, but then she realized that she had no idea how Remus got to the Shack for his transformations. Then, she stared out the hallway window, and distinctly saw a couple of figures approaching the Whomping Willow. Transfixed, she saw something small suddenly bump a knot and the tree froze. Squinting her eyes she could just make out some figures diving into the roots of the tree.

Faye tore from the window and sprinted as fast as she could down to the Hogwarts Grounds, where she saw the tree was beginning to lash again. She searched frantically for a branch nearby and found a long one. Carefully, she stuck her branch in between all the other branches and poked the knot, hoping it would work. When she was done wincing, she noticed that the tree was frozen.

Cheering a little inside her head, she slid down into the tunnel and ran apprehensively down the dark passageway. Presently, she saw a distinct light, and ran even faster. However, she slowed when she reached what seemed to be a living room that she recognized as the Shrieking Shack.

And she saw Remus staring at her.

But he wasn't alone. James, Sirius and Peter were staring at her too.

"Why are you guys here?" she asked, puzzled.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Remus said slowly. One part of him was angry as hell that she had followed them into the Shack, and another part of him was terrified for her life.

"I-" Faye started, looking at Remus, but she had nothing to say.

There was a moment of deadly silence.

"Let me repeat my question," Remus said, voice now icy. "What the _hell_ are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see with my own eyes if you were a-a…" Faye closed her eyes painfully. She couldn't say it.

"A werewolf?" Remus finished. "I am, Faye. I bloody well am. This Shack is where I transform every month, and that tunnel is how I get here every month. You didn't believe me when I told you I was a werewolf?"

"I did," Faye said desperately. "I did!"

"AND YET YOU STILL HAD TO COME DOWN HERE ANYWAY?" Remus roared.

"I'M TERRIFIED, REMUS!" she screamed. "IS IT JUST THAT EASY FOR ME TO BELIEVE? THAT THE MAN THAT I'VE KNOWN FOR TWO YEARS IS A WEREWOLF?"

"IF YOU'RE THAT BLOODY SCARED THEN YOU SHOULD JUST GET OUT!" Remus roared.

"MY BROTHER WAS KILLED BY A WEREWOLF!" Faye screamed, now crying.

Suddenly, the whole shack was silent. "What?" Remus finally croaked.

"My little brother," Faye repeated, now crying uncontrollably. "He was killed by a werewolf. He was killed…"

James, Sirius and Peter stared at her, comprehension dawning now on why she was so traumatized to learn Remus's secret.

"We found his mangled body in the middle of our yard…" Faye looked away, pain filling her eyes. "But it was good that he died before-before our father started getting sick..."

Remus couldn't look at her. He hated himself at the moment. A werewolf had killed Faye's little brother. And he-he was a werewolf. It didn't matter; whatever James and Peter would ever say, he wouldn't believe that it's not his fault. Remus found himself hating everything he represented.

"Faye, I'm so sorry," James said.

She didn't speak and looked on the edge of collapsing for a moment, but then she frowned slightly. "So what _are _you guys doing here?" she asked James, Sirius and Peter.

"We can't really say right now," Sirius started.

Suddenly, James shoved her roughly to the side. "Faye, get out of here right now!"

"What?" she asked, confused. Then, she looked at Remus and saw that he had gone rigid. "Oh my God!" she shrieked. "Is he transforming?"

"Faye, you need to get out of here right now!" Sirius shouted at her, looking panicked. "Now! Leave!"

"What about you guys?" she asked, eyes wide.

"We know what we're doing," James shouted. "Trust me! Now move! And don't repeat this to anybody!"

She glanced one last time at Remus's half-furry body and she started crying harder, but she obeyed James and Sirius and ran as fast as she could down back into the tunnel, never turning back.

James breathed a sigh of relief that she had gone, then motioned for all of them to transform. Sirius and Peter did so immediately, and James followed suit.

Soon enough, the full-grown werewolf was standing in front of them, and it showed no mercy. Again and again it lunged, time and time again. James winced to himself, but not in pain. He winced in realization, and with a sinking feeling he knew that the wolf was going to be harder to subdue than usual.

It was going to be a long night.


	52. New Directions

A/N: I don't know why this chapter took me so long to write! I worked on it every day, and still I got it out so much later than I expected. Thank you all so much for sticking with me! School has started and my schedule is crunched. I won't be able to write the weeks before the SAT, but other than that I hope to continuously write.

This chapter in particular marks a lot of turning points in the story. It's not really lengthy but it does the job. As to the question of liking it, I'm alright with it. It's not a favorite, but I hope you all enjoy. And I apologize again for the wait!

Once again, many, many thanks to give. Thanks so much Hahukum Konn, Cappygal116, Phanthom, Nietta, Suicidal Duck (wow, thanks!), DSK, LovePadfoot5867, CarmenElizabeth (hey, Gus!), living-is-easy-with-eyes-closed, Kendra-the hyper one, Leah, brona, elise bentwin, glory boots, Padfootz-luvr (yep, you were 500!), Young Prewett, Kates Master (Three times!), and Jenwah (thanks so much!). You people are sooo awesome.

By the way, 500 reviews! Thanks so much!

* * *

_December, 1977_

* * *

New Directions

Remus was running through a forest as quickly as possible, breathing heavily, struggling to carry on. He looked back over his shoulder with apprehension, and saw no one there. He breathed a sigh of relief. "I think we lost them," he said to himself.

"There he is!" somebody suddenly growled. Remus spun around in terror to see a huge pack of werewolves gaining on him, teeth bared and smiling a twisted smiled at him. Remus groaned and kept running away from them. Suddenly, he reached a beautiful clearing, with the sun shining brilliantly through the holes between the forest leaves. The clearing looked strangely familiar, and then he remembered. It was the place where he and Faye first kissed. As he stopped to admire the scenery, suddenly he saw Faye in front of him.

"Faye?" he said, puzzled, leaning forward cautiously to see her face.

And suddenly, her face blew up ten times its original size, and she was screaming hysterically. "YOU KILLED MY BROTHER!" she cried in an anguished voice, the sound carrying clear across the forest. "YOU KILLED HIM!"

"No!" Remus protested. "I didn't!"

But Faye kept on screaming, tears pouring down her face, and behind him Remus could feel the werewolves closing in, and they laughed and laughed their mirthless, merciless cold laughter that never ceased…

"Remus, wake up!" he heard the voice of Sirius say loudly. "Wake up!"

"Give him a moment," he then heard the voice of James say.

And Remus's eyes shot open. "What's going on?" he said loudly.

"You had a bad dream, mate," Peter said quietly. "We heard you thrashing around in your bed, screaming 'No!'."

"Oh," Remus said, groaning. Sharp pains came shooting in through his arms and legs, and as he looked around, he finally remembered that he was in the hospital wing. "How long have I been in here?" he asked quietly.

"Three days," James said, forcing a smile.

Remus looked carefully at his friend for the first time, and saw that James and Sirius were covered in so many bruises and gashes that they looked like they had just been mauled. "Oh God," he said hoarsely.

"We're okay," Sirius said impatiently.

It was by far the worst full moon night the Marauders have ever had. James and Sirius didn't dare lead their friend outside the Shack, not that they could have. Moony didn't let up one single bit. The ordeal with Faye seemed to bring out the worst transformation ever. The werewolf scratched and bit with increasing strength and accuracy, much to the dismay of both Padfoot and Prongs, who were losing energy by the second. Remus never regained control that night, and James had a sinking feeling that the ordeal had left him hopeless, and he was trying very little or not at all.

By the time the sun rose, bruised and bleeding, James and Sirius dragged themselves to an obscure corner instead of upstairs, because they did not have the strength. They feared of going to Madam Pomfrey, for it seemed way too coincidental that on a day that Remus was badly hurt, they to would be badly hurt. So instead they bandaged themselves up and slept the Sunday away in their dormitory, extremely tired.

"I should have tried harder," Remus groaned. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," James said firmly. "We got through it alright. And even if you did try harder, I don't think it would have made that much of a difference. The wolf was simply too strong that night. Rest, Remus. We'll be fine."

Remus looked gratefully up at his friends. "Thanks," he croaked.

"Is Madam Pomfrey going to let you out for Christmas break?" Peter asked anxiously.

"Yeah, we're leaving tomorrow," James said. "Are you going to be out?"

"I think so," Remus nodded. "I don't think she can force me to stay in here all winter break, at least."

"Good," James said.

There was a moment of silence. Remus looked up at them apprehensively, not daring to ask the question that's been gnawing on his mind the entire time.

"No, I'm sorry, Faye has not spoken to us," Sirius said quietly, as if he could read Remus's mind.

Remus sighed sadly. "I guess we're done then. I don't blame her. I'm a werewolf…and a werewolf killed her little brother…"

"You're not blaming yourself for it, are you?" James asked shrewdly.

"No," Remus said defensively, but James could see him lying.

"Remus, it's not even close to being your fault," he said steadily. "You didn't kill her brother, and you can't blame yourself for this."

"But I understand now," Remus said quietly. "I understand why…"

The four sat in silence for a while.

"So is it over between you two?" Peter asked.

Remus sighed. "I don't know. I really don't know. I guess it's not official yet, but considering what happened…"

He closed his eyes and opened them again. "I can't choose my battles. I have to accept them as they come."

Madam Pomfrey suddenly appeared behind them. "Out!" she screeched. "This boy needs his rest, didn't I say a limit of ten minutes?"

"We forgot?" Sirius said charmingly.

"Out! Now!" she said loudly.

James, Sirius and Peter looked over one last time at Remus, then obeyed her and walked out of the hospital wing.

* * *

"It's our last patrol before Christmas break," Lily said, smiling happily. "I think we should, I don't know, celebrate or something."

"With what?" James said, laughing. "Want to go dance with Peeves?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "No way."

James smiled. "I didn't think so."

"Anyways, I'm looking forward to Christmas," Lily said.

"I thought you didn't like holidays," James said.

"Well, mainly because of my sister, I don't," Lily shrugged. "But Mum told me that Petunia would be bringing, er, her boyfriend home for Christmas…again. My God. That man is going to eat our entire house up."

James laughed.

"So, to keep myself properly amused, I will simply watch Vernon eat," Lily smiled. "It should be fun."

James grinned. "I'm looking forward to Christmas too, although I'll miss you."

"Aw," Lily said, grinning as well. She put her head on his shoulder. "I think I'll miss you too."

"You think?" James laughed, pretending to look extremely offended.

"I think," Lily said, smiling. "You know why?"

"Why?"

"I want to invite you over to meet my family for Christmas."

James stopped walking abruptly. "Whoa, Lily," he said, shocked.

"What?" she asked.

"Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, this is a huge step," James said hesitantly.

"Is that a no?" she asked, frowning.

"That's not it at all," James said. "It's just that it's a pretty big step." He paused. "Do you think we're ready for this?"

"I think so," Lily said, smiling.

James paused for a moment. "Well, I'm sure my parents wouldn't object to you coming over as well," he said, a smile spreading across his face.

"So is that a yes?" Lily laughed.

"If it's a yes for you, then it's a yes for me," James grinned.

"Well then, I guess I'll just have to say yes," Lily grinned happily.

"Great!" James said enthusiastically. "I can't wait!"

"You might want to curb that excitement," Lily laughed. "Petunia and Vernon aren't going to like you very much."

"What?" James said, pretending to be shocked. "Everybody likes me."

Lily laughed. "Sure. Whatever you say."

The truth was, Lily had been shocked at how well her dates with James had turned out. He was quite honest with her, but he was also sweet. Lily could tell that he was trying extremely hard not to mess anything up, and that made her appreciate him even more, knowing that he had put effort, real thought into going on dates with her. Lily admitted to herself that she was a bit demanding at times, and broke up with a few boyfriends because she thought she deserved more. James went above and beyond to try to make her happy, and she could tell that he wasn't messing around. He really liked her, and that made her happier than anything.

The rest of the patrol passed happily as the two of them planned out what they were going to do for Christmas. Before James knew it, patrol was over.

"I never thought I'd say this," James said. "But I think I'm actually going to miss patrol."

"Yeah, me too," Lily said. "Though I enjoy it. Well, I do now, anyway."

James smiled. "I know what you mean. Should we head back up to the common room?"

"I guess," Lily said reluctantly. "Eh, and once again, nothing happened."

James laughed. "I think we should consider ourselves lucky."

"I'm actually kind of hungry," Lily said.

"D'you want to go down to the kitchens? I know where it is," James said.

"Oh, I know too," Lily smiled. "I don't really want to bother the house elves, though."

"Oh," James said. Then, a sudden idea came to him. "Hey, Lily, d'you want to go somewhere special?"

"Where?" Lily asked. "I think I've been everywhere around the castle."

"I don't think you've been to the place that I'm thinking of," James challenged.

Lily smiled. "Well then, you're on. Lead the way."

"Okay, follow me," James said. Then, he suddenly stopped. "Wait a minute. No, we can't by the time we get there we'll be past curfew."

"So?" Lily said.

James stared at her. "So… we'll risk getting caught when we're heading back up to the common room, won't we? I mean, even though we're the Heads, we still have a curfew, and security's ten times tighter."

Lily shrugged and grinned. "Eh, just this once."

James kept on staring at her.

Lily burst out into laughter. "Weren't you the one that once told me to have a sense of adventure? Well, I'm going to loosen up for once, so are we going?"

"Of course!" James said, beaming. "Let's go."

James led her through a series of obscure passages. By now he knew the ways to avoid prefects and the places of patrol, and navigated through the castle with ease. "We're here," he finally said.

Lily stared at the place, and then stared blankly at James. "We're where?"

"I'll show you," James said, smiling mischievously. He started to pace back and forth in front of a blank slab of wall.

"This picture is relatively disturbing," Lily said, smiling a bit at the picture of the dancing trolls.

"I know," James said, grinning. Lily turned around and suddenly saw a door appear on the wall which James had just passed.

"What's this?" she said curiously.

James beckoned her over. "It's called the Room of Requirement," he said easily. "It's pretty self explanatory. You just pace back and forth in front of it three times concentrating hard on what you need."

"That's amazing," Lily said, beaming. "I never knew about this!"

"Surprisingly, more people do than I thought," James said. He reached for the door handle.

"So what did you wish for?" Lily said, smiling.

James paused, and grinned. "I think you'll see."

He held the door open for her and ushered her in. Lily gasped in delight at the sight. The room was a sight of red, with rose petals scattered everywhere. Comfortable couches lined the wall, and in the middle of the room was a round wooden table on which two plates of food, two glasses of drinks, and one single rose sat.

"Oh, it's beautiful!" Lily said. "Did you wish for a dinner?"

"Sort of," James said. "I was wishing for a romantic, quiet, comfortable place where we could have dinner."

Lily looked at him in surprise. "I didn't peg you to be the romantic type."

"I'm not," James said truthfully. "But I try."

"I see that," Lily laughed. Just then, her stomach rumbled loudly. "Oops," she said, grinning sheepishly.

James laughed. "Let's dig in, then."

"I wonder what it is," Lily said as she walked over. James pulled out her chair for her. "Thank you," she smiled as she sat. Suddenly, she laughed. "Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?"

James looked at the plates, and grimaced a bit. "I've got to be specific with the food next time," he muttered out loud.

Lily shook her head. "No, I love it," she said earnestly. "It's so simple but elegant."

"Let's hope the jelly isn't sloppy," James grinned. He sat down in his chair. "Shall we dig in?"

"Let's," Lily said.

They both bit into their sandwiches at the same time. "I guess this could be considered a date," James said, laughing once he swallowed his sandwich.

"I guess," Lily said. "And I wanted to be the one that took you out for a third date."

"I guess I fail miserably, then," James sighed.

"Not even close," Lily laughed. "I love this."

After their casual midnight dinner they relaxed together on one of the couches. "This year seems like it went by so fast," Lily sighed, reaching for James's hand. "Well, this half-year anyway. It kind of feels like yesterday that I was yelling at you for hexing Snape."

James laughed. "True. I'm really glad we got to know each other."

"Me too," Lily smiled. "I was wrong about you, James. And for the first time I'm ecstatic that I'm wrong."

James laughed. "Little miss perfect."

"Not even close," Lily laughed. She put her head on his shoulder. James felt a chill up his spine.

"Can I ask you something?" Lily said quietly after a moment of silence.

"Of course," James responded. "Anything."

Lily paused, then looked straight into his eyes. "Would you change for me?"

James looked surprised. "Of course," he said. "Of course I would. Why?"

"Because I don't want you to," Lily said.

Now James was confused. "Wait, what?"

Lily turned away from his and stared blankly at the opposite wall. "You've already changed enough."

"Huh?" James said, still confused.

Lily smiled a bit. "I really like you, James. One of the reasons that I wanted to go on a date with you was because I saw how you changed for the Head Boy job, and I was hoping, wishing that maybe you would change for me." Now she looked back at him, stared straight into his eyes, and she seemed a bit ashamed. "But I like you. _You_. I don't like who you _could_ be. I don't want to change you, because the more I think about it, the more I realize that without your humor and pride and pranking streak, you wouldn't be James. You wouldn't be so dynamic, and you certainly wouldn't get on my nerves as much."

James smiled.

"And as much as it hurts me to admit it, I kind of fall for it," she smiled. "You've made me look at life past grades, and enjoy the little things that make my day."

"Wow," James said, taking a deep breath. "Am I awesome or what?"

Lily rolled her eyes and socked him playfully in the shoulder. "Cocky."

James laughed. "But you love it."

Lily laughed too. "I guess I do."

They looked deep into each other's eyes. "Now I have a question to ask you," James said, not taking his eyes off of hers.

"Of course, anything," Lily said.

Their faces seemed to magnetically move closer together. "Do you believe in taking chances?"

Lily smiled. "I didn't," she whispered. "But you make me believe."

And with a courage she didn't know she possessed, Lily leaned closer and kissed him.

James knew as soon as their lips touched that it was meant to be. He thought back to his first kiss with Rachael in Hogsmeade. He had wondered where the fireworks were, and he realized that he had held out this long for just this one moment, when his heart was full and he felt nothing but pure love. He had waited this long for something that felt right.

And it was worth it a million times over.

* * *

Lily and James got back very, very late from the Room of Requirement, so late that both Remus, Peter, Sirius and Marcella were waiting for them in the common room when they came through he portrait hole.

"Thank God!" Marcella sighed in relief. "Where were you two? We thought you two had died while on patrol!"

"Aren't you guys supposed to be asleep?" Lily frowned.

"We should ask you the same question," Sirius said slyly.

Both James and Lily flushed.

"We were-"

"We just-"

"I don't need to hear an explanation," Remus laughed.

"Where'd you guys go?" Peter asked interestedly.

"We don't want to know," Sirius said firmly. On the side, he shot James a wink that only James could see. But when he turned back toward the group, Remus thought he saw a flicker of a shadow behind his eyes that was both dark and angry, but in the next second, it was gone.

The next morning, Remus, Peter, Sirius and Marcella went for a nice stroll on the grounds before they had to pack to leave Hogwarts. Lily and James were too tired to get up.

"This is so nice," Marcella said, looking appreciatively at the dewy morning grass. "It's hard to think that half a year from now, we'll no longer be students here."

"Please don't say that," Sirius groaned. "I don't want to think about it."

"Isn't that why we're outside?" Remus shrugged. "To enjoy the last Christmas vacation we'll ever have while still at Hogwarts."

"Don't say that," Sirius said again through gritted teeth.

"Alright," Remus shrugged.

The four were eagerly engaged in conversation and Sirius occasionally planted a kiss on Marcella. Suddenly, Peter went sprawling forward.

"What the-?" Sirius said, spinning around. Then, his face became stony. Snape and Regulus were walking right behind them.

"We thought your friend needed a little push. He was in our way," Regulus sneered.

"You watch it," Sirius growled, pulling out his wand. Snape and Regulus instantly pulled out theirs as Remus and Peter whipped out their wands as well.

"Sirius, what's going on," Marcella said, looking confused.

"Step back," Sirius snapped.

Marcella didn't move. Sirius shoved her to the side, a little more roughly than he had meant to. "Sirius!" Marcella said angrily.

"We seem to be missing a member of the pack," Snape said, interrupting Sirius and Marcella's exchange. "Aah," he said slowly, sneering. "Where is Potter?"

"Asleep," Remus said testily.

"Couldn't drag his pride out of bed this morning, could he," Snape spat.

Something flickered in Sirius's eyes.

"Sniv-Severus, stop," Remus said stonily. "We're too old for this."

"We're not too old for this," Regulus snarled, and shot a spell at Remus, knocking him off his feet.

Sirius let out a growl of rage and flew at Snape, who stood closer to him than Regulus did. Remus and Marcella both made a grab for him, but it was too late. As Sirius tackled Snape and knocked him on his back, Regulus aimed at his brother. The next second, Sirius was blasted off of Snape and landed on the grass a couple feet away.

Snape dragged himself back up and aimed his wand at Remus, who thought quickly and spotted Professor McGonagall talking to a fellow teacher across the yard. "Hello, Professor McGonagall!" Remus called out loudly.

Both Snape and Regulus paled a bit as McGonagall nodded back.

"Let's go," Regulus muttered. He and Snape quickly swept away.

Marcella quickly ran over to Sirius and knelt down beside him. "Sirius," she said loudly. "Sirius, can you hear me?"

Sirius groaned and moved a bit on the ground. He sat up slowly, hand on his head, and then immediately sprung up as if nothing had happened. "Where's Snivellus?" he growled, holding his wand up on top of his head.

"Easy," Remus said, pulling Sirius's arm down.

"They left," Peter said.

"They left?" Sirius roared. "Where did they go? I want to destroy them!"

"Sirius!" Marcella said, alarmed. "Alright, let's look at this rationally."

"Rational?" Sirius laughed bitterly. "Rational? I'm not a rational person, Marcella. You don't know anything about me."

"I'm trying to," she snapped. "Can't you see that?"

There was a long moment of silence.

"I think we should go," Remus said, edging away. "Come on, Wormtail. Let's get out of here."

"Don't," Sirius said in a voice that had a hint of pleading.

"Sorry," Remus said, shooting a small smile at Sirius. He turned away and Peter followed him into the castle.

"Sirius, talk to me," Marcella said at length.

"I don't want to," Sirius snapped.

"Well, I'm confused," Marcella pressed on. "I've seen you and Snape fight, but I've never seen so much hatred on anyone's face. I don't think even Snape can make you do that. Who was that other guy? The guy with Snape?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Sirius said testily.

"I do!" Marcella exclaimed loudly. "Why do you do this, Sirius? Why can't you just talk to me? You're so closed, that I feel like I know absolutely nothing about you!"

"I'm not an open person," Sirius snapped. "Alright? There. Now you know something about me."

"Well I know something about me," Marcella said stonily. "I won't stand for this. If you don't talk, Sirius, we're done."

"God, what is it with girls and talking?" Sirius exploded, thinking back to Nora. "Why do you all feel the need to talk everything out? How the hell do you know it'll make things better?"

"Have you tried it?" Marcella challenged.

Sirius paused.

"Then how do you know?"

Sirius glared at her, but his face softened a bit. "I don't," he said roughly. He looked straight at her, and saw in her eyes that she really did care, and wasn't there to condescend or berate him. He waited for her to say something, but she didn't. She waited it out. And Sirius realized that he had met somebody special.

"Why are you so patient with me?" he asked.

"I like you," Marcella responded.

"Why?" Sirius said.

Marcella paused. "Right now, I don't know."

They stared straight at each other

"That was my brother with Snape, did you know that?" Sirius said finally. "A little brother whose idiot head found its way deep into the dark arts, the hole I've spent my life trying to stay out of."

Marcella said nothing. She waited.

"We used to be close." Sirius let out a bitter laugh. "Do you know how hard it is to see him with Snape? I don't know who I hate more right now-Snape for being a greasy git or Regulus for being a full-on idiot."

"You can't hate your brother," Marcella said, voice warbling for the first time.

"Maybe you can't," Sirius snapped. "I can. Maybe you come from a tight, loving family, but I don't. They hate me, I hate them, except for Uncle Al and Andromeda."

"Hate is a strong word," Marcella said carefully.

"You can't tell me that you haven't hated anyone," Sirius said in surprise.

Marcella shook her head. "I haven't."

They sat in silence.

"I know we're different," Marcella said at length. "You hate your brother. My brother almost didn't come with us to Mexico. He would have died along with my mother and sister. I'm close with my dad. I heard you stuck a wand in your dad's eye." She turned to look at him. "But it doesn't matter, Sirius. I just need to know anytime something's bothering you. You can't bottle it up. Maybe you wouldn't want to confide in me, but you need to confide to somebody. Please talk to me once in a while, even if it's about the most trivial things. Can you promise me that?"

Sirius took one look at her pained face and nodded. "I think I can do that."

She smiled. "Good. That's what I want to hear."

They leaned in to kiss each other. As their lips touched, Sirius couldn't help but marvel at the situation. For the first time, a girl had really made him talk, even if only for a bit. However, Sirius had the sinking feeling that James was right, and that Marcella was looking for a long-term relationship. Deep in his heart, he didn't want that…did he?

* * *

"I'm nervous," James moaned to Sirius. "I'm so nervous."

Sirius rolled his eyes slightly. "What do you have to be worried about?" he said impatiently. "I mean, honestly. You're only going to see her family. It's not a life or death situation. You'll be fine."

"I feel like I'd rather duel with Snivelly," James sighed. "Or get in ten million detentions, though I haven't been in one for a while."

"More like the entire year," Sirius muttered.

James didn't seem to hear him. "I'm afraid I'll mess up, Padfoot. I really like her."

_I know_, Sirius said vindictively inside his head. He didn't say that. Instead, he smiled. "I know," he said calmly. "Maybe you should lighten up a little bit. I'm sure if you're all stiff they'll notice."

"Yeah," James said absently. "I would take on Snivellus instead of doing this any day."

Sirius glanced at James. There was no lack of emotion in his face, but he seemed solely concentrated on Lily. Lily. It was all Sirius heard these days. Good people don't get jealous of their best friend's girlfriend, but Sirius couldn't help it. He never thought he was a good person anyway.

"Did it ever occur to you," Sirius said quietly. "That you'd rather duel Snape because it's a battle you know you can win?"

James stared at Sirius and realized with a mixture of both pride and shame that they were growing up. He sat silently for a while, contemplating this. "You're right," he said finally. "I choose battles I can win."

Sirius saw a shadow of doubt in James's eyes. "You'll be fine," he said knowingly as if he could read James's mind. "You can win this one." His tone was oddly encouraging. It sounded distant even to him-not fake or superficial. Just distant. "Lily's parents can't be that hard to charm."

James grimaced. "I don't know about that. I probably shouldn't be worried, but I am. I'm not worried about them hating me. That I can handle. I'm worried about disappointing Lily."

Sirius looked at James and realized that on normal days in the past six years, James would have recognized Sirius's distant tone and realized something wasn't quite right. He opened his mouth to make an angry comment, but couldn't do it. Instead, he plastered on a grin, realizing that in the past six years James would have realized that it was fake as well.

"Charm the heck out of them," Sirius said lightly instead, barely hearing his own voice.

James grinned too. "Yeah."

A couple of minutes later, Sirius watched his best friend walk down the stairs to go to a girl that he liked, maybe on the verge of loving. And he felt in his heart a sense of loss deeper than the sense of hate that had been spent on his brother. And he realized just how much of a brother James really was to him.

James was literally shaking as he walked toward the fireplace. His trembling hand reached into the pot that held the floo powder.

"James," he heard his mother call out. "James!"

James quickly withdrew his hand from the pot, secretly glad for the distraction. "I'm here, mum," he said.

Mrs. Potter walked into the room. "Oh there you are, dear," she said happily. "Were you getting ready to go to Lily's?"

James nodded. "Yeah."

"Well you don't sound so excited," Mrs. Potter said shrewdly.

"I am," James said defensively. "I'm just… scared."

"It's the first time that I've heard that in a long while," Mrs. Potter mused, smiling. She put her hand on her son's shoulder. "You're my son, James. I know how you are. It's great to be brave, but…sometimes it's okay to be scared too. It doesn't make you weaker. In fact, I think it makes your relationship with Lily stronger."

James smiled. "Thanks, mum."

"No problem," Mrs. Potter said. "Oh, by the way, when is Lily coming over for dinner?"

"I'm going there today," James said. "I'll probably bring her tomorrow. Is tomorrow good? Dad doesn't have anything to do, does he?"

"I hope not," Mrs. Potter said, smiling weakly. "We only have two days off, but I would love to meet this Lily, and I'm sure your father would too. She sounds like a great girl."

"She is," James nodded. "She is."

"Well, go on, then," Mrs. Potter smiled. "You don't want to be late."

"Thanks, mum," James said as his mother walked back toward the kitchen. He refocused his attention on the fireplace and the floo powder, steadying himself. Then, he sighed, thinking back to what Remus had said in the hospital wing. "Remus was right," he said out loud to no one in particular. "We can't choose our battles. Not anymore."

Then, James took a longing look at the fireplace and saw a brilliant red brick that reminded him so much of Lily's hair, and he grinned. "I'm coming, Lily," he said quietly. Then he took the floo powder, flung it into the fireplace, and disappeared among a swirl of green flames.


	53. An Icy Winter

A/N: You guys, I'm so sorry! School just started and it's been so hectic, I haven't been able to get my act together enough to write as much as I want! Add that my SAT's are two weeks away, and I'm just feeling stressed. After that, you'll see a LOT more updates from me, I promise! Plus, I have a new plan. I'm going to write at least half a page every single day. Hopefully, that'll get me to update sooner.

Anyways, back to this chapter. One other important element was supposed to go in here, but I decided to leave it until the next chapter, as I knew some of you were anxiously waiting for an update. This one is all about contrasting moods and friendship. Yes, James is meeting Lily's parents and Lily is meeting James's parents, but that's not the focal point of the chapter. It's all about friendship and, well, Sirius. ("YAY!" goes the Sirius lovers, with me included.)

So, to hem my rambling, there are people I must thank. Thanks to 3-Legged Dog, Kates Master, Cappygal116, brona, living-is-easy-with-eyes-closed, Young Prewett, miwako, Kendra-the hyper one, RitaSkeeterGossip(3 times!), Rxc, elise bentwin, Snuffles Is My Idol o.O, Jenwah, Carmen Elizabeth, glory boots, and Diana MC. You guys just make my day, thanks so much!

* * *

_December, 1976_

* * *

An Icy Winter

"Right on time," Lily beamed as James stepped out of the fireplace.

James brushed himself off with his hands and ran his hand through his hair. "Do I look okay?" he said anxiously.

Lily laughed. "Don't worry about it. I think you look fine."

"Only fine?" James said pretending to look offended.

"Oh, am I supposed to lie?" Lily said, laughing.

James laughed as well, and took a good look around the house. "So where are your parents?"

"Out," Lily replied. "They're doing some last minute present and food shopping, you know, for the big holiday dinner tonight."

"Present? For me?" James said, grinning cheekily.

Lily laughed again. "No, not really. Well, maybe. I never know."

"Oh," James said, pretending to look sad, but failing miserably. He was, after all in Lily Evans's house, with the girl of his dreams. It was hard to even act depressed. He grinned instantly. "So I guess I've come at the perfect time, yes?"

"Sure," Lily grinned. "Perfect."

"So what should we do while your parents are out?" James said, beginning to smile roguishly.

"Oh, stop it," Lily said, flushing a bit. "How about a tour of the house?"

"Sure," James nodded. "Let's go."

"Great," Lily said, taking his hand. "I guess we're starting here, then," she said, gesturing to the room they were in. "Obviously this is the living room. As you can see it's really very cozy. This is where I watch muggle television deep into the night on holidays."

"Television?" James asked.

"It's sort of like, you know, moving pictures but they're planned out," Lily said. "I'm not quite sure how to explain it, but I find it fun to watch."

James laughed. "I was under the impression that all you did during holidays was to do your holiday work."

"Nah," Lily shrugged. "Sitting on the couch watching reruns with a giant box of chocolate is my guilty pleasure."

"Any…er…show you recommend?" James asked.

"We're getting off topic, aren't we," Lily grinned. "I'm supposed to be showing you around the house! Alright, I promise to show you the television later."

"Deal," James said, grinning. He allowed himself to be led out of the kitchen, through the dining room and up the stairs.

"Alright," Lily said as they gained the top of the stairs. "Let's start with the guest room. You're staying over tonight, correct?"

"Yep," James nodded. "I have to bring you back to my house tomorrow to meet my parents."

"Right," Lily nodded, face struggling a bit.

"Why, what's wrong?" James frowned, noticing the look on her face.

"No, nothing," Lily said airily, which usually meant something. "There is a slight problem, however. You'll, er, have to share the room with Vernon."

James paled immediately. "What?" he asked incredulously.

"I'm sorry, James," Lily said, though clearly trying to stuff in her laughter. "You see, our house only has one guest room. Petunia and I refuse to share a room to make room for both you and Vernon, because, well, you know."

"Why can't I just share a room with you?" James said desperately.

Lily rolled her eyes. "James, are you that thick? Do you honestly think my parents would let us? They keep telling me that it's their house. Anyways, who know," Lily shrugged with a slight grin on her face. "You and Vernon might become bosom buddies."

James looked at her smiling eyes. "You're enjoying this, aren't you," he said, planting a quick kiss on her lips.

Lily laughed, and pushed him away. "Yeah, I am. Come on."

They walked further down the hallway. "As you can see, this is the bathroom. And that," she said, pointing to a large room with a king-sized bed. "That is my parents' room. We won't go in there."

"Why not?" James asked, smiling mischievously.

Lily punched him playfully. "My parents won't like me with my boyfriend, rolling around their room."

"Boyfriend?" James asked. "So we're official?"

Lily looked at him expectantly.

"Oh, right," James said, grinning. He cleared his throat. "Lily Evans," he said slowly. "Will you do me the honor of being my one, my only, girlfriend?"

Lily half-scowled, half-smiled. "I'd better be the only one. Took you long enough. Of course! See, that wasn't that bad, was it."

The two walked further down the hall and passed Petunia's room, where the door was closed. "And lastly, of course, is my room," Lily said as they arrived at the last room down the hall. "So, what do you think? It's probably not even near the size of your spacious mansion, from what I've heard of it."

"I think it's great," James said truthfully.

Lily blushed happily. "Thank you."

James glanced at her room door. "Is there any particular reason you keep your room closed?" he asked.

"I like it the way it is," Lily said softly. "Our world is changing around us. I…Well, especially when I leave for school I like coming back and knowing it's the same as before, so I keep it closed."

James nodded. "That's understandable."

Lily looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to ask if they could go in, but he didn't. She could tell that he was trying to respect her privacy, and she felt her heart soar. Lily smiled and leaned in to kiss him.

"Well," said a sneering voice from behind the couple. "Isn't this cozy."

Lily gasped and quickly whipped around to find Petunia and Vernon standing there, looking at them. Vernon's face was full of apprehension; Petunia's face was a mixture of fury and fear.

James took one look at Lily and sensed the tenseness of the situation. He cleared his throat. Petunia and Vernon redirected their attention to him. "Hello," James said, offering them the most charming smile he could muster. "I don't think we've formally met, have we?" Without waiting for an answer, he plowed on. "I'm James Potter. And you, madam, must be Petunia," he said, stepping up to shake her hand vigorously.

Petunia looked nothing less than shell-shocked, and once James let go of her hand, she withdrew it quickly as if she had just been mortally offended.

"And you, my dear man, must be Vernon," James said, now turning to Petunia's boyfriend. James was tempted to laugh upon seeing Vernon's face for the first time. Vernon Dursley was slightly taller than Petunia, and was an extremely corpulent man, to be generous. Though clearly only around twenty years old, he had almost no neck and his pallid face was extremely pasty-looking, except for one prominent, bulging vein on his forehead that was pulsing madly.

If this loser had gone to Hogwarts, James would have laughed in his face and hexed the hell out of him-not that James wasn't tempted to, no matter how much of a Head Boy he was now. James still could not believe that he could use magic without getting in trouble for it, as he was of age. But his plan of charming Lily's family might be a bit tarnished if Lily's parents find that James had turned Vernon into a pig.

Instead, James reached out his hand. Vernon reluctantly took it for a second, but just like with his girlfriend, withdrew it immediately as if James's hand might be poisonous. Lily looked at them shrewdly. No doubt Petunia had told Vernon that there was something peculiar about her sister and her friends.

"Great," James beamed, stretching his mouth into the widest smile he could manage. "Now that we're all introduced, would you like to join me and Lily down in the kitchen for a snack? We were headed that way."

"It's my house," Petunia said coldly, regaining her voice. "And you two were most definitely not headed for the kitchen."

"You're quite right," James said, without missing a beat. He reached out, grabbed Lily's hand, and made to snog her again. Lily's face was struggling against laughter, but neither Petunia nor Vernon noticed.

"Let's go," Petunia ordered to Vernon, looking disgusted. They set off quickly down the hall, Vernon looking extremely confused.

"James," Lily said, trying to sound serious but grinning all the same as Vernon and Petunia sped out of sight. "What on earth are you trying to _do_?"

"I'm trying to be friendly," James said seriously. "I think they like me."

Lily burst out laughing.

* * *

Remus stepped easily out of the fireplace, brushing soot from his shirt. "Sirius," he called out. "Where are you?"

"In the kitchen!" Sirius yelled predictably.

Remus shook his head and laughed. He entered the Potter kitchen to find Sirius munching down a plate of cookies that Heda had made. "Of course," Remus said, sitting himself down beside his friend. "Can I have one?"

"What's the magic word?" Sirius sang.

Remus laughed again. Sirius wasn't a day older than that giddy first year. "Tarantallegra," Remus replied.

Sirius quickly pushed the plate of cookies over to Remus. Remus was easily known for his quick and sharp Defense Against the Dark Arts spells, especially the _tarantallegra_ spell, and Sirius didn't feel like spending the rest of the afternoon dancing uncontrollably.

"So what brings you here?" Sirius said, turning to fully face Remus.

"You invited me over, remember?" Remus said. "You said you needed company while James was at Lily's."

"Oh yeah," Sirius said, smacking his head. He dug into another cookie.

Remus studied Sirius carefully. There was something not quite right about the look in Sirius's eyes. A dark shadow, like the one Remus thought he caught a glimpse of days earlier, had passed over him at the mention of Lily and James.

"Padfoot," Remus said carefully. "Is there anything wrong?"

Sirius stared at Remus for a bit. "No," he finally said.

"You were never great at lying," Remus said sharply.

Sirius winced a bit. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Yes you do," Remus said. "It's me, Sirius. What's wrong?"

There was a moment of tense silence. Then, suddenly, Sirius burst out laughing. Remus was shocked to find that he wasn't surprised by it. After all, he had heard the same toneless, emotionless laughter way back in the marauders' third year, and occasionally after that. And every time, it unnerved him.

"Sirius, stop," Remus begged. But Sirius wouldn't stop; he couldn't. He didn't want to have that pain rush in. Back in third year, it was because he didn't want to think about spending Christmas time with his family. And now…he felt like he was losing his best friend.

Remus's face was contorted in pain for his friend. He waited patiently. After what seemed like hours, Sirius stopped laughing. The empty smile didn't die from his face.

"Are you ready to talk?" Remus said quietly.

"Goddamn it, Remus," Sirius whispered, slamming his fist down onto the kitchen counter. "I feel like I don't know him anymore."

"James?" Remus asked.

Sirius nodded. His eyes were stormy. "Ever since he and Lily started being all…" he stopped. He couldn't say it. "You know what I mean," he continued. "It seems like he doesn't have time for the marauders anymore. What happened to best friends? What happened to our pact?" He kicked the counter in frustration.

"You know those nightly patrols aren't his choice," Remus said. "I'm sure James would rather spend that time with us but you know he can't."

Sirius snorted.

"Think about it," Remus said quietly. "James has liked this girl since first year. That's seven years of waiting, Sirius. Seven years. And finally, they're building a relationship. Of course he's spending a lot more time with her than we might like."

"Fine, take his side," Sirius said bitterly. Remus was struck by how much Sirius sounded like a child. But they weren't children - not anymore.

"I'm not taking sides," Remus said patiently. "I'm just seeing it from his point of view."

"Can't you see it from mine, then?" Sirius snapped. "He's changed, Moony! He's changed into a rule-loving, first-year hugging..." Sirius drew in a deep breath. "I don't see _him_ anymore," he said, averting his eyes from Remus. "That's not him."

"I could never see any sign of this from you," Remus said candidly.

"I held it in," Sirius snapped. "What was I supposed to do?"

Remus looked at the side of Sirius's face. It was contorted in anger, but mostly pain. In truth, James hadn't changed that much, but to Sirius, James seemed like a new person altogether. Sirius was bitter, Remus could tell. "Maybe he hasn't changed as much as you think," Remus said.

"Maybe he's changed more than you think," Sirius retaliated. "Maybe it's Lily. She's trying to change him, I know she is."

Remus frowned. "I don't think it's Lily."

"Maybe it is," Sirius snapped. "Little miss perfect."

"You're being unfair," Remus said quietly. "You set up their first date in the first place."

"True," Sirius shrugged. "I never envisioned it would be like this, though. She must have some sort of twisted power over him... maybe she's using a love potion," he said irrationally. "That would explain it..."

"Sirius," Remus said disapprovingly. "You know it was James's decision to go on more dates with her."

"You're right," Sirius said moodily. "It's all James's fault. His fault for not marauding around with us. His fault for not breaking the rules. His bloody fault for forgetting his friends."

The two sat together for a while in silence, munching on cookies occasionally. After a long time, Remus finally raised his head. "If it bothers you so much, why don't you just tell him?" Remus said reasonably.

Sirius stared at the counter for a time, and when he finally tuned to face Remus, Remus was startled to see a hint of tears in his eyes. "I can't," he said brokenly. He shook his head, as if every word was causing him pain. "I just can't."

* * *

"And then, he said, 'I saw you coming from a mile away!'"

Lily's parents and Lily burst out laughing. James beamed with pride. Jokes were his specialty, and he was not going to forsake that talent. Petunia simply sat there looking sulky. Vernon was looking nervously around as if trying to find an escape.

"That was great!" Mrs. Evans said, wiping her eyes. "I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard!"

James grinned.

The Christmas dinner was a jolly affair. Lily and Petunia, though refusing to sit next to each other, were at least not bickering. James was going out of his way to be nice to Vernon and Petunia, no matter how cold and icy they were to him. Lily laughed silently to herself whenever she saw James doing this. He was being extremely obnoxious, but it was funny.

"It's time for dessert," Mrs. Evans said, getting up to head for the kitchen.

James quickly sprang up from his seat, beating Vernon to it. "I'll get it," he said grandly.

"No, it's quite okay, dear," Mrs. Evans said warmly. "I will go and get it."

"You're had a long day, ma'am," James said smiling. "Don't worry. I will go get it. You just rest."

Mrs. Evans smiled gratefully. James passed by Lily on the way to the kitchen. "Don't use magic," she whispered to him out of the corner of her mouth.

"Fine," James said. Lily grinned.

Lily had made James agree that he wouldn't use magic in the Evans' household. James felt like showing off, but Lily knew that doing magic in front of Petunia and Vernon probably wasn't the brightest idea. Chances were that at this point, Petunia hadn't told Vernon exactly what was so odd about Lily and James. If James chose to show off, and Vernon and Petunia broke up, Lily would probably have to pin Vernon down and perform a memory charm on him, which was unlucky because Lily didn't want to be within 100 feet of that man if she had a choice.

James looked around the kitchen surreptitiously, unsure of what to do. He finally spied a large chocolate cake sitting in the corner. "Aha," he said out loud. He pranced toward the cake. Looking around, he made sure that no one was there, and took out his wand. With a wave, the cake sliced itself into six equal pieces.

"Mr. Potter," a voice said from behind him. James quickly pocketed his wand and turned to find Mr. Evans looking straight at him.

"Hello, sir," James said. "I'm, er, just bringing the cake back into the dining room."

"Never mind that," Mr. Evans said, somewhat impatiently. "I would like to talk to you."

"Absolutely," James beamed, though he was secretly a bit nervous.

"I would like to know what your intentions are with my daughter," Mr. Evans said flatly.

James looked at him, a bit taken aback. "What do you mean by that, sir?"

"You know what I mean," Mr. Evans said.

James furrowed his brow a bit. "Sir, I really like your daughter-"

"Why?" Mr. Evans said, cutting him off.

"Well," James said. "She's-"

"And this had better be good," Mr. Evans said, cutting him off once again. He was now staring James down. James shifted his foot uncomfortably, but did no look away from his gaze.

"May I tell you something, sir?" James said. Without waiting for an answer, he plowed on. "I used to be confused. I came to Hogwarts hoping to find an adventure, hoping to stir up some trouble and get the most out of life." He took a deep breath. "And I did that. I have three best friends I would die for. For the past six years we've been closer than brothers. I loved the rule-breaking, and I loved the thrill of freedom I got from it."

Mr. Evans didn't interrupt him. He simply kept looking at James.

"Even when I didn't know Lily at all, from the first time I saw her, confusion went away," James continued. "She made me want to be a Gryffindor. I've done some stupid things in the past. I know that. Most of it was to impress your daughter. But there's something about her that just makes me want to live every day like it's my last. She's intelligent, witty, and beautiful, and she brings out the best in me." He paused, and smiled. "No matter what happens, I will always be blessed knowing that I've known somebody like her."

Mr. Evans stood still for a moment, then he nodded ever so slowly. James felt a gigantic rush of relief course through his entire body.

"Would you like some help in bringing the dessert back into the dining room?" Mr. Evans said kindly, coming out of his stiff position and now looking at James with a level of warmth and understanding.

James nodded and smiled. "Thank you, sir."

* * *

The finished plate of cookies laid there, crumbs sprinkling the otherwise clean plate. The Potter manse was quiet and empty. Remus noted how lonely the big mansion was without James and without his parents. Heda was always in the background, but she kept to herself. Remus turned and looked at Sirius apprehensively, who was staring moodily at the empty plate.

"Do you want to go somewhere else?" Remus asked at length. He felt like they had been sitting in the kitchen forever.

"Sure," Sirius said indifferently. The two stood up. Not knowing quite where to go, Remus wavered. Stonily, Sirius led the way out of the room. Remus followed him to the back door. The two friends stepped out into the Potters' back yard.

Sirius felt rather guilty as he walked on. He didn't want to take out any frustration on Remus, but he couldn't help it. Every particle of disbelief had wanted to course out before the holidays, but he shut them in tight, only to unintentionally release them when Remus came over. Remus had suffered enough, especially in his hands. Sirius knew that Remus was hurting from Faye, even though he didn't let it show. Sirius didn't deliberately invite Remus over to talk about James. He had hoped Remus would distract him from James, but instead Remus was the one who let Sirius spill it all, made Sirius talk it out.

Sirius knew that a lesser friend would have made him feel better.

As the backyard came fully into view, Sirius looked around slowly at the giant field of land. Piles of beautiful roses and daffodils lined the side of the garden, big enough to make him suspect that Mrs. Potter had used a very controlled engorgement charm on them at some point. Now they were covered in layers of snow. Sirius breathed in the fresh air, and looked with sadness upon the open field which the snow-covered flowers framed, and remembered the past few times when James had patiently tried to teach him to ride a broomstick, no matter how incompetent Sirius was at it.

The damp night air shrouded the two friends, and the twinkling stars were veiled by thin strips of cloud that passed over them. A moon crescent was in sight. Remus shivered involuntarily, not because of the cold night temperatures. He was worried about Sirius.

Sirius, however, looked emotionless. When he couldn't see the stars, it meant something to him. He had never spent a night at the Potter manse without James to crack jokes with, without James to fool around with, without his other half, it seemed.

"Are you scared?" said the distant voice of Remus Lupin, pulling Sirius back to reality.

Even in the damp darkness, Remus could see Sirius's face tighten defensively. "Of what?" he asked.

Remus smiled soberly. Sirius never liked to admit he was scared of anything. "Are you scared of losing your best friend?"

Sirius thought about this for a moment. "Maybe," he finally said. He looked pained again. "Maybe." He took a deep breath and let it out, the mist enshrouding his mouth for one second in a thin layer of fog.

Remus looked at Sirius for a second, then focused his attention on a faraway rosebush, opening his mouth to say what had been built up for the past six years. "You and James-you're different from me and Peter."

There was a pause. "How so?" Sirius asked slowly.

Remus closed his eyes for a second. The stars seemed to shine a little brighter, but it could have been his imagination. "You two had the special bond that neither I nor Peter had with you two."

Sirius turned fully around to look at Remus. "What?" he frowned.

"I sometimes felt left out, all these years," Remus said quietly, candidly. "You and James were so close in spirit, hearts and soul. You were irreplaceable to each other. I sometimes talked to Peter." Remus let out a somewhat bitter laugh that scared Sirius immensely. "We didn't feel like part of the group. We, at times, felt like we didn't belong."

"I'm sorry," Sirius said truthfully. "I never realized…"

"Don't apologize," Remus said, cutting him off, staring blankly at the thin strip of moon with his face tightened. "You guys have done for me what others would and could never do. It's more than I could ever ask for." He turned to Sirius and smiled. "Trust me."

Sirius nodded slowly. "Is that why it's so hard for me to see James and Lily together?" he finally asked.

Remus nodded. "I think so. Padfoot, James is irreplaceable to you. I think it's time you talked to him. Maybe he's spending all this time with her subconsciously, and he doesn't fully realize it. Think about it."

There was a long moment of silence. "Okay," Sirius finally said.

The two friends both looked up at the stars. Remus could just make out the Sirius constellation, and he smiled lightly, wondering if James at this time was looking up at the sky as well, and seeing something that reminded him of his best friend.

"Remus?" came the quiet voice of Sirius.

"Yeah," Remus said.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said quietly.

Remus never took his eyes off of the distant stars. "Don't be."

* * *

Sharing a bed with Vernon was not James's idea of fun. When he entered the guest room and found only one bed, James first swore loudly, and covered his hands over his mouth, hoping that no one else had heard it. Thankfully, no one else did.

The next thing he did was lock the door. Fearing that muggle locks were unstable, he cast a charm on it. Certain that nobody was looking, James thought of the conjuring spell that he had learned for N.E.W.T. class and attempted to conjure up a bed.

On the third try James succeeded. Immensely happy and relieved, he pushed the bed so that it stood as far away from Vernon's as possible. He then unlocked the door, and went to go brush his teeth.

When James came back to the room, he found Vernon in the doorway, staring at the bed James had conjured. It was a shocking purple, with nine fluffy pillows and a giant mattress that looked like air. "Hello, Vernon," James said cheerfully from behind Petunia's boyfriend. Vernon jumped a mile, and grunted in response.

The two men set off to bed, James in his highly comfortable bed, and Vernon in his wooden, thin-mattress stained bed. James felt ten times better as he drifted off to sleep.

The night had been mostly uneventful. After a private talk with her parents, Lily came running back to James and announced that both her parents like him, and better yet, they liked him better than Vernon. They spent the rest of the night in front of the living room couch, where Lily showed James how to work a television. They finally parted near midnight, when James got to bestow one last kiss on Lily before they both headed off to bed. Not wanting to risk breaking the law, James had to conjure his bed while Vernon was in the bathroom.

The next morning James and Lily both rose early. James was down in the kitchen first, desperately trying to cook some pancakes, but failing miserably. Lily same down too, yawning.

"Wow," James said, grinning. "Aren't you a sight in the morning."

"Shut up," Lily said grumpily. Her hair was like an afro-it frizzed in almost all directions. She had bags under her eyes, and was in a pink, flannel pair of pajamas.

"Aw, you look great," James grinned.

"Don't lie to me, James," she snapped. "I hope you know that I couldn't sleep the entire night because I was worried about you and Vernon sleeping in the same room. Well, I was slightly worried about Vernon, actually. It's not like he could do anything to you, but you could have done plenty to him."

"Believe me, I thought about it," James said remorsefully. "Unfortunately, my angelic side got the better of me, and I therefore had to endure a night of his grunting and snoring. I hope you realize the tremendous sacrifice I've made for you."

Lily grinned. "Would you do it all over again?"

James laughed. "In a heartbeat."

"Good," Lily grinned. She pushed back her frizzy hair and leaned in to kiss him.

Even in the morning, James felt alive and well, and with Lily in his arms, he felt like nothing could stop him. "I think the breakfast is burning," he murmured, breaking the kiss.

Lily's green eyes smiled at him. "Let it burn," she said softly.

It was lucky that nobody else woke up during the time that Lily and James were snogging in the kitchen with the fire on the stove in full force. They were forced to abort their snogging session, however, when the fire alarm went off.

"Gah!" James exclaimed loudly. "What the hell was that?"

With a quick wave of her wand, Lily cleared away the smoke and the beeping stopped. She started laughing. "You're right," she grinned. "Probably shouldn't have let the breakfast burn."

They cleared up the mess with one wave of their wands, and soon the rest of the family joined them for a breakfast. Though the ordeal was mostly silent, James kept winking at Lily from across the table, who kept blushing and glaring at him to stop. Both Vernon and Petunia looked bedraggled and uncomfortable at the table. Lily was relieved when it was finally time for James and her to leave and go to the house of Potter.

"Bye mummy, daddy," she said, hugging both her parents as James offered her a handful of floo powder. Petunia and Vernon were upstairs, refusing to see them off.

"Is that floo powder?" Mrs. Evans asked, pointing at the powder in Lily's hands.

"Exactly," Lily beamed.

"Let's go, Lily," James said. "My parents are only going to be home for one day." He turned to Lily's parents. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Evans, sir, and you, Mrs. Evans. Thank you for having me."

"No, thank you, for making our little girl happy," Mr. Evans said, smiling. "Now, get going."

Lily smiled at her parents gratefully. They smiled back. She then threw the powder into the fireplace and disappeared. James thanked Mr. and Mrs. Evans one last time before disappearing as well into the fireplace.

He stepped out of the fireplace quickly and saw Remus heading towards it. "Moony," he said, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I stayed overnight," Remus grinned. "Padfoot invited me over, I hope you don't mind."

"No, not at all," James said. "Are you leaving now?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I have to go. But Sirius is upstairs in case you need him. I think he's still sleeping."

James laughed. "Thanks. Bye."

"Bye Remus," Lily said, smiling.

Remus waved and disappeared among the green flames.

"Did Remus leave?" Mrs. Potter said, coming into the room.

"Yeah, mum," James said, pulling Lily beside him.

Mrs. Potter saw her, and smiled. "You must be Lily Evans!" she said happily. "It's so nice to meet you!" Mrs. Potter enclosed Lily in a tight hug.

James laughed, and Lily beamed. "James was right," Mrs. Potter said, still smiling. "You are beautiful!"

"Oh," Lily said, blushing heavily, somewhat embarrassed. "Oh, thank you." She punched James in the shoulder.

"Oww!" James laughed.

"Anyway, come on into the living room," Mrs. Evans said brightly. "James's father is waiting. He'll love you."

Lily's nervousness had washed away quickly. Her family was warm to James, she knew, but there was something about the Potters that simply exuded love and care. She looked at James and smiled. No wonder Sirius chose to spend his holidays here.

James could tell that his parents loved Lily by dinnertime. They made a huge feast for her, grander than the one that Lily's parents had made. Granted, magic wasn't on their side. Lily felt right at home in the Potter manse. She marveled at the size of the great house, and teased James about it.

Only one person wasn't speaking a lot during dinnertime, and that was Sirius. James occasionally glanced over at his best friend, wondering what was wrong, but thought it best not to bring up anything in case Sirius went into one of his stormy moods. It was still near Christmas eve, and none of them needed that.

Sirius sat stonily viewing the dinner scene, feeling both angry and betrayed. James barely made an effort to talk to him, and threw all his energy into making Lily happy, and doing whatever Lily wanted. It was enough to make him sick. Sirius thought about what Remus had said, but he couldn't bring himself to do it, especially not now, when it was Christmas and James looked delighted to have Lily over. Excusing himself from the table early, Sirius therefore retreated to the tallest part of the Potter manse, the attic.

Alone, he sat in the dark, dust blanketing around him. No one could see him. No one would hear him. And he began laughing, the cold, emotionless laugh, echoing through the attic, as far as his pain and misery could take it.


	54. How To Deal

A/N: My writing schedule is serving me well so far, which is definitely a good thing! I might not be able to write in the next week, but I can resume the schedule afterwards. Hopefully the SAT's won't kill me.

This chapter is really more of a transition chapter, but in saying that, it's pretty crucial. The main focus is on the relationship with Remus and Faye, with side focus on Peter and Sirius. I know, finally a chapter without focus on Lily and James! They've been getting a little spoiled. I hope you guys enjoy!

d: Interesting... I've never seriously thought about the characters losing their "v-card" as you say because it all begs the question where would they have that much privacy. I don't think they need to to show maturity, but hey, you're right, they are normal tenagers too! So I'll think about it :)

And of couse, of course, I thank the readers and reviewers so much! Thanks to Cappygal116, brona (you'll see), living-is-easy-with-eyes-closed, Kates Master, Young Prewett, kendra-the hyper one, elise bentwin, miwako, Carmen Elizabeth, DSK, RitaSkeeterGossip, Phanthom (twice!), 3-Legged-Dog, and d! Thank you all so much, I feel so happy to have such wonderful reviewers.

* * *

_December-January, 1976-1977_

* * *

How to Deal

Peter stepped off the train with some trepidation and walked silently to a remote part of the train station after waving good-bye to his friends. He knew that his mother hadn't been feeling too well from that last couple of letters they've sent back and forth to each other. He knew that she was hurting, hurting from his father's death.

Peter only wished he could feel that way about his father.

He was allowed to apparate this time from the train station to his house, so his mother didn't have to get out of bed simply to retrieve him. In a way he was glad, because it was good for her health. And in a way, he selfishly knew that a long car ride home would delay his depressed looking house that contained haunting memories. That longevity he would give almost anything for.

Taking a deep breath, Peter held his trunk tightly in his hands. It was Christmastime. He was going home to see his mother, and his father wasn't around. It was alright. Everything would be alright. Peter felt himself being compressed from all side as he swirled into nothingness…and then the train station was gone to be replaced by a damp, gloomy living room that still, after his father had gone, smelled like alcohol.

Forcing his fingers to let of his trunk, Peter breathed in the familiar air. There was nothing here to comfort him. He hadn't heard from Lauren in months, and had be stoic as to expecting letters, though a deep part of him always wished for one. Letters to and from the school were being checked anyway. Peter sometimes told himself that the school might have confiscated some of her letters for no reason.

He thought every day back to the box in his trunk. Every single day, he wondered whether to go to one of the meetings or not, even if his invitation was long expired. He had secretly plotted to go to several meetings in Hogsmeade, but always backed out at the last second, lest James, Sirius or Remus should walk by. Peter knew what was right, but he couldn't help wondering what else there was to live for.

Shaking his head, Peter trekked upstairs to unpack his stuff. His mother was probably sleeping, and he didn't want to disturb her. As he dragged along his suitcase, he stopped suddenly. He could legally use magic now. Starting to beam widely, he took out his wand with a trembling hand. "_Locomotor Trunk_," he whispered excitedly, thinking of the spell Remus had taught him years back.

What pure joy he felt seeing that trunk move! Peter knew he was incompetent at spell-work, but gosh, who said spell-work was the most important aspect of being a great wizard?

After entering his room and unpacking his stuff, Peter sat down on the bed. He didn't want to be here. A part of him was itching to sign up to stay at Hogwarts during the holidays, but his mother needed him. Trembling, Peter opened the first compartment of his trunk and fished out about a dozen unfinished letters that he had written to Lauren. He knew that he might never see her again, but still. Hope was still alive.

"Peter, is that you?" a weak voice called from a few doors down.

Peter sprang up from his bed immediately. "Mum? Mum, are you awake?"

"Yes," Mrs. Pettigrew said.

Peter immediately rushed out of the door and flew into his mother's room. He felt weakened at the knees when he saw her lying in bed. Quietly, he pulled a chair up to her bed and held her hands in his own.

"Peter," she said, smiling. "I'm so glad you're back. I'm sorry I couldn't go get you from the station…"

"Mum, it's okay," Peter said, forcing a smile. "I'm allowed to apparate freely. You don't need to go to all that trouble anymore."

Mrs. Pettigrew simply smiled as if to reassure herself that her son was going to be alright. After a while, Peter knew that she had drifted off to sleep again. Even more quietly than before, Peter got up, gently let go of her hand, and removed the chair from her bedside. Then he silently left the room and went into his own, holding back tears for the only person left on this earth, other than the fading Lauren, that he truly loved.

The next few days Peter threw himself into housework. It was all made easier by the presence of magic, but still. Peter could never remember much of the housework spells. It didn't make his day go faster. Instead, every moment he was awake, he thought of his mother, likely dying of grief.

On the third day into vacation, the house was still damp and gloomy, but at least it was clean. Peter breathed deeply, and smiled grimly at his accomplishments. "Unbelievable," he said out loud. And he laughed lightly, something he hadn't done in what felt like forever.

Though he had been purposely avoiding his mother's room, going in there only to help her out of bed or to bring her food, Peter couldn't help it on the fourth day. He trekked lightly into her room past dinnertime. Mrs. Pettigrew looked genuinely happy to see him.

"Peter," she croaked out. "My son…"

"Mum, it's okay," Peter said. "I'm here for you. I'm here."

Mrs. Pettigrew attempted to get up, but couldn't.

"No, mum, don't," Peter said quietly. "Just rest. It's going to be alright." He looked at her, hoping his pain didn't show on his face. He could tell that she was growing weaker by the day. He didn't want to think about how much longer she had to live.

"I thought I'd never see you again," Mrs. Pettigrew said, smiling weakly. "When you went back to Hogwarts after summertime, I thought I'd never see you again."

Peter felt a chill up his spine.

"But you are here," Mrs. Pettigrew said, the smile growing wider.

"I'm here," Peter repeated faintly, as if he couldn't hear his own voice. He just wanted to get out. He didn't know how much more of this he could take.

"Peter," Mrs. Pettigrew said, reaching out her hand for his. Peter offered it subconsciously. "In case I die in the near future, there's just something I need you to know."

Peter gripped her hand tighter. He wanted to leave. He couldn't leave. His head hurt in all directions. His head felt shriveled and cold. Tears were pushing their way out of his eyelids. He had to keep them in. His mother couldn't see them.

"I am so proud of you," Mrs. Pettigrew whispered, mouth trembling.

Peter closed his eyes. He almost couldn't bear to look at her.

"You are everything I have left," Mrs. Pettigrew continued softly. "I've lost your father. I've lost both our parents. I've lost my health, and I'm losing myself."

Peter felt as if he had been doused in cold water. He reopened his eyes. "Mum, no," he said slowly, painfully.

"I'm dying, my son, I know it," Mrs. Pettigrew nodded. "But you…you stay alive at all costs, do you hear me?"

Peter stared at her.

"You stay alive," she repeated. "I want you to stay alive. Live, Peter. Don't go the same way as me and my father. Live your life. Live the life we gave you. Do you promise me that?"

Peter nodded slowly. He wasn't even aware of his body functions anymore.

"Good," Mrs. Pettigrew said, relaxing on her bed. "I love you, Peter. I know you'll do what's right."

His whole body trembling, Peter removed himself from her bedside and quickly sped out of the room. He leaned against the wall as if his body couldn't support itself. Slumping down on the ground, Peter looked at his clenched fists, and for the first time in a long while, he really did cry.

* * *

Faye dragged her trunk up to her room slowly, trying her hardest not to think about what had happened in the last month. There was a gnawing pain against her sides whenever she thought about Remus. Her Remus.

He was a werewolf.

Of all the things he possibly could have been, he was a werewolf! She would have been okay with maybe a vampire or something, not that that wouldn't have been gross, but still. Faye sighed, flung her trunk down, and plopped face-first on her bed.

She stayed like that for what seemed like forever, until it was late into the night and she felt hungry.

"Faye, honey, dinner!" she heard her mother call. Faye sprung up from the bed and immediately flew out of her room.

She entered the familiar living room with some trepidation. She hadn't truly looked around the house since her return, and she didn't want to. Her father was still at the hospital. Faye knew that her mother had tried to get him back home for Christmas, but with a heart condition like his, the hospital deemed it almost impossible.

Faye loved Hogwarts with all her heart, but she was ready to give that up and work if her family needed her that much. Faye knew that her mother was always tired, always stressed. Three jobs would put a strain on anybody, but her mother valued her education more than anything else.

The small house that they lived in was cramped together with many other houses. They had been forced to sell their spacious lakeside home to pay for Mr. Taten's treatments. That fund had held out for a while, but Faye could see it deteriorating. One look around the living room convinced her of everything. Several prized possessions of her mother were missing, and several expensive paintings were as well. Faye didn't know how much more of their house her mother could sell before selling the entire thing.

"Hi, honey," Mrs. Taten said as Faye walked into the dining room.

"Hi, mummy," Faye said, engulfing her mother in a big hug.

"How was Hogwarts?" Mrs. Taten asked.

"Yeah, how was it?" Faye's little brother, Evan, asked.

Faye laughed. Evan could never wait to go to Hogwarts.

"Brilliant," she responded.

"Good," Mrs. Taten asked, now spreading out the dishes on the table. "And how's Remus?"

Faye stopped short. "Oh, uh, great," she said airily. "We're great. Do you need any help with setting the table?"

"Thank you, honey," Mrs. Taten smiled.

"Sure," Faye said, glad to have any reason to change the subject.

After a filling dinner, in which Faye's mother had made all her favorites, the family sat down in front of the small television. "We had to get rid of cable," Mrs. Taten said apologetically. "But I thought, for your return, that we could all watch a movie, as a family."

"That sounds great," Faye said truthfully.

"Great," Evan said excitedly. "I picked out a movie all by myself!"

"Did you really?" Faye grinned.

"He did," Mrs. Taten laughed. "He wouldn't even let me see it."

Faye laughed as well. "Well, then, let's play it. I'm dying to see it."

Evan pushed the play button, and an old-fashioned black and white movie zoomed onto the screen. The credits rolled by slowly. Faye and her mother smiled merrily at each other.

Then, the first character came onto the screen. He was a dark-looking man, and he held a deadly-looking axe in his hand.

Faye frowned. What on earth were they watching? "Evan," she said out loud. "What kind of movie is this?"

"It's a horror movie," he said excitedly. "Some friends at school told me about all the cool gory parts, and I knew I wanted to see it."

"Okay," Faye said uneasily.

Then, as if out of nowhere, a large creature leaped out of a huge bush and at the man with the axe. Faye gasped. She recognized the creature, and it made her sick to her stomach.

The creature snapped and bit at the man, clawing, clawing, clawing…Faye's world seemed to swirl before her…the man with the axe regained use of his arm and started hacking, hacking, hacking…Faye screamed out loud…

"STOP THE MOVIE!" Mrs. Taten thundered.

Evan, now standing in fright, quickly turned off the television.

"Faye, honey!" Mrs. Taten said, alarmed. "Come, we'll get you up to your room. Evan, get the movie out of the television this instant! Put it back in its box, we are returning it first thing tomorrow morning!"

Evan obeyed her, still with a scared look on his face.

Faye's mom helped her daughter up to Faye's bedroom. "I'm sorry, honey," Mrs. Taten said, shutting the door. Faye collapsed on the bed.

"It's okay, mum," she shuddered. She thought about telling her mother about Remus.

"I know it must be hard for you to see something like that, especially after what happened to your brother," Mrs. Taten whispered.

Faye nodded. She couldn't tell her mother about Remus. She couldn't.

"That's exactly why," Faye said, referring back to the movie. "I'm sorry about that. Maybe I shouldn't have overreacted."

Mrs. Taten sighed. "You didn't. I was screaming like that on the inside, too."

"Don't blame Evan," Faye said.

"I won't," Mrs. Taten smiled sadly. "It's not like he knew about his brother…"

Faye sat silently. Her mother had always been of the opinion that they should keep Faye's brother's death away from Evan. She didn't want him to go through life scarred.

"Are you going to be alright?" Mrs. Taten said worriedly.

"I'm fine, mum," Faye nodded. "It's okay."

"Okay," Mrs. Taten smiled. "I guess I'll leave you to yourself, then. I have housework to do."

"Do you need any help?"

"I'm okay," Mrs. Taten said reassuringly.

She planted a kiss on Faye's forehead, then left the room, closing the door behind her.

Faye snuggled up in her bed, enclosing the covers around her. The clawing of the wolf resonated in her brain, and the hacking of the axe kept replaying over and over again in her head. Faye buried her head in her pillow.

She kept imagining Remus in the place of the movie-wolf, being hacked to death by the axe. And that's what she saw, on the screen. She had screamed, not only in horror, but in fear. She was scared for him. She didn't want him to die. He didn't deserve to die. He couldn't help what he was.

She knew Remus.

She thought she did.

She loved Remus.

Remus loved her.

Could she still love a werewolf?

Could she love a creature that had killed her brother?

* * *

The Hogwarts Expressed loomed ahead just like any other year to take them back into Hogwarts. Because the war was getting worse, and a few more families of Hogwarts students had been killed, Lily and James thought it fitting to have another meeting with the prefects on how to deal with upcoming losses.

Peter ascended the train slowly, his trunk getting heavier by the second. He wanted to leave home, he really did. With his mother dying, where was he supposed to go? She had left everything to him, and there was a faint glimmer of hope that she could make it through. But there wasn't much left. There was too much that reminded him of sadness and grief.

The first one Peter saw was Sirius. "Padfoot," he called out.

Sirius turned toward his friend and wordlessly abandoned his trunk, strode over, and placed a reassuring hand on Peter's shoulder. "Mate, are you alright? I got your letter."

"I'm fine," Peter said, forcing a smile.

"Alright," Sirius said, still looking a bit concerned. "Is she okay?" He never knew what it would feel like to lose a mother, but he did know how it would feel if he had lost Mrs. Potter, who was so much of a mother to him.

"She's okay, I suppose. Alive but very weak. How-how are you?" Peter managed.

To his surprise, Sirius smiled bitterly. "Not great. I need to talk to James, I guess."

"About what?" Peter asked curiously.

Sirius sighed. "Lily."

"Oh," Peter said, scolded into silence. "Well I'm sure you two will work it out. You always do."

"Thanks, mate," Sirius said, managing a grin. "D'you need some help with the trunk?"

"I'm fine," Peter said. "I keep forgetting that I can do magic now."

Sirius laughed his dog-like laugh. "I know what you mean. Come on, let's go find our compartment."

The two friends ascended the train and entered what would be the last time, their compartment. Sirius and Peter stowed their luggage, then sat down, waiting for the others. Impatiently, Sirius peered through the window. James had left his side to go find Lily, but he saw Remus boarding the train as well.

"Moony's coming," Sirius said happily.

Sure enough, a couple minutes later, Remus entered the compartment. "A little help here, guys?" he said, dragging his trunk along.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You are a wizard, you know."

Remus grinned. "How could I forget?" Whipping out his wand, he muttered a spell, and his trunk rose into the air and deposited itself between Peter and Sirius's trunks. "I would love to stay and chat," he said, pocketing his wand. "However, our Head Boy and Girl want to talk to the Prefects, so I guess I'll see you guys later, then."

"Did you already see them?" Peter asked.

"Yeah, I saw them heading toward the large compartment," Remus nodded.

A dark shadow passed over Sirius's face. "Prongs didn't even want to say hello?"

"I'm both of them are quite busy," Remus said. "They do have to prepare a speech after all."

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius said, slouching deeper into his seat. Both Remus and Peter looked at him.

"Think about what I said," Remus said calmly. "I'm not going to be the mediator. You two need to work it out, alright? Just do it." He gave Sirius one last meaningful look before striding out of the compartment.

"What was that all about?" Peter asked quietly after Remus had gone.

"Our friend is going over to the dark side," Sirius growled.

Peter's eyes widened, and he looked shocked.

Sirius looked at him, eyes betraying both his annoyance. "No, not like that, Wormtail," he snapped impatiently. "By dark side I mean Evans. Lily Evans."

"Oh," Peter said in a small voice. He never knew quite how to deal with Sirius when he was in a mood like this.

"It's just as well," Sirius said bitterly to no one in particular. "Next thing you know Snape'll become a saint. What the hell is the world coming to?"

Remus walked slowly to the front of the train, deep in thought. He had debated with himself over the winter as if whether he should intervene in the rift between James and Sirius. On the one hand, James wasn't doing it on purpose. He was so head over heels in love that he seemed oblivious to anything that smacked him in the face, except for Lily's hand, maybe.

On the other hand, Remus had almost never seen Sirius this moody. He felt that Sirius could explode at any moment, and it was therefore not safe to have him around anybody else. He specifically told Marcella not to ask him how his vacation was. He would blow up at her and maybe damage their relationship, and seeing as how James and Lily got closer every day, a breakup was not what Sirius needed on his plate.

Remus was so preoccupied in his thinking that he felt his body slam into another, which jolted him out of his reverie. He found himself and the person he had bumped on the ground. "I'm so sorry, it was my fault, I wasn't watching where I was going," he said at once.

He found himself looking into the shocked face of Faye Taten.

"Oh, um, it's quite alright," she said uncomfortably. "I should probably take partial responsibility as well."

"It is a rather small corridor," Remus joked. To him, his words sounded dry.

The two laughed nervously. Remus sprang up from the floor and offered out a hand to her.

"I'm okay," Faye said, and made to get up. The train jolted unexpectedly at that second. Instinctively, Remus reached over and grabbed her arm to keep her from hitting the floor.

Once she stood up and looked at him, he immediately withdrew his hand.

"Thanks," she breathed.

"Uh, no problem," Remus said, shifting his foot a bit.

There was a moment of awkward silence.

"Are you headed for the meeting?" the two said together. They both stopped in shock, and laughed.

"I guess I forgot how much we think alike," Remus said, giving her a genuine smile. "I guess if we're going, we're going together. No use escaping in this corridor."

Faye smiled back weakly, and Remus wanted to smack himself for saying that last line.

Awkwardly, the two headed to the front of the train, where they found the same seats they sat in their first day as prefects. "Brings back memories, doesn't it," Faye said, smiling.

Remus laughed. "Yeah. I guess it does."

The compartment was only half-filled. Remus could faintly make out the figures of James and Lily in the front of the room, being very cozy with one another.

Remus looked sideways at Faye. He knew that he still loved her, but he knew that he had to get over her. Something as tragic as what happened to her brother still haunted Remus at night, and knowing that he was one of them…

Remus knew she was right. She couldn't love him.

He had to stay away from her. He had to stay away for as long as it took until these wounds in his heart could heal. It may be never, but Remus had to try. He couldn't go on like this.

Before he knew it, the compartment had filled up with people. James and Lily were in the front of the room, getting ready to make their speech. He held her hand in his. Remus remembered faintly how James was jealous of Remus's strong relationship with Faye, and wishing that he and Lily could be like that. Now, the situation was reversed. Remus found himself jealous of James's situation.

He knew James was right. Faye didn't accept him. And even with good reason, Remus knew that maybe they just weren't meant to be.

"It's been a tough year," James said loudly, snapping Remus back to reality.

"Most definitely," Lily nodded, addressing all the prefects that were assembled. "I'm sure you all have friends who have been-er-harmed by Lord V-I mean, You-Know-Who. "

"Exactly," James nodded. "But there will be no fear here. The best way we can show our support is through courage. We will not be scared off. We will be strong. As prefects and Heads, we have a duty to protect those who are younger, and who may not fully comprehend what is going on. We need to set examples for them, to show them courage, show them the light at the end of the tunnel. This war will be over." James clenched his fists in his hands. "It will end. We will live to see it end."

Sitting through James and Lily's speech, Remus felt slightly mollified. There was something about James that was definitely different. He spoke with an air of credulity. A year ago, if somebody had asked James to stand up in front of a row of prefects and make a speech, likely he would have been kind enough to leave you still standing on a good day after some nasty spell-work. Now he seemed much more mature, much more able. Remus smiled sadly. Maybe Sirius was right. Maybe James really did change more than Remus thought.

He was only slightly aware when the meeting was over, and only when Faye tapped him on the shoulder. A familiar swoop made its way through his stomach, but he held it back. He couldn't feel like that anymore. He was done.

"I guess I'll see you around, then," Faye said, standing up.

"I guess," Remus echoed. They exchanged small smiles.

"Bye," Faye said finally. She drifted away, out of the compartment and out of sight.

"Hey Moony," the voice of James called out as Faye walked away.

Remus turned around and smiled at Lily and James, who were walking toward him, hand in hand. "Hi, guys. Where are you headed?"

"We're headed back to me and Marci's compartment," Lily said, smiling. "James said he would come. Isn't that right?"

"Exactly," James grinned.

Remus had the fleeting impression of Sirius mimicking throwing up if he were to witness this scene. "Uh, Prongs, aren't you going to tell Sirius and Peter where you're headed?"

"They'll understand," James said easily. "I'll check in on you guys later. Can you tell them for me?"

"Sure," Remus said, smiling on the surface. He wanted to grab James's arm and shake sense into him that Sirius was hurting from all this, but instead he watched James walk away with Lily, hand in hand, laughing gaily as if nothing could stop them.

Remus shook his head. Slowly, he walked back to their compartment. The Marauders' compartment, as it had come to be called. But they were missing a marauder, and that made all the difference.

"Hey Moony," Sirius called out as Remus entered the room. His spirits seemed to have lifted a bit since Remus left. "Where's Prongs?"

Remus would have lied. He would have said that James was in the bathroom, or he was attacked by Snape. Anything. Everything. But he didn't. He couldn't.

"He's with Lily," he said quietly. "In Lily and Marcella's compartment."

The look of hope and happiness was replaced by an extremely ugly look. "That's it," Sirius growled. "I'm going to curse the hell out of Evans."

"She's not the problem!" Remus snapped.

So rarely did Remus snap at anyone, that both Peter and Sirius stopped and looked at him in shock.

"Sirius, you are avoiding what needs to be done," Remus said impatiently. "Talk to James, for Christ's sake! Lily's not the problem! It's you and James that have a problem."

"Are you saying that I'm mental?" Sirius said heatedly.

"Maybe I am," Remus said, his eyes narrowed. "What difference does that make?"

The two glared at each other for another minute, Peter looking back and forth at both of them, wide-eyed.

"Moony, I-" Sirius started.

"Please don't say you're sorry," Remus interrupted, knowing what Sirius was going to say. "At least, not to me. Talk to James, Sirius. In fact, why don't you go now? You can talk to him and be with Marcella at the same time. She misses you. You haven't seen her all vacation."

"I would go if she wasn't in the same room as James and Lily," Sirius said darkly.

Remus shook his head. "You are unbelievable," he said irritably. "Fine, Sirius. I'm just going to sit here and watch you rot away, all because you can't talk to your best friend."

Sirius glared at him, but didn't say another word.

* * *

"I can't do this anymore," Faye said out loud.

No one heard her, and she didn't expect anyone to. After all, she was alone in her dormitory. She didn't know where her dorm-mates were, and she didn't care. Every single night in her dreams, that one scene from the movie and Remus kept flashing into her head, usually causing her to scream out loud. Her dorm mates were worried, but didn't say anything to her, though she heard them talking when they thought she was asleep.

A week back into the school year, Faye was desperately seeking somebody to talk out her problems with. She had hoped that she could talk to her mother, but she was too scared to after that movie. She knew what her mother would think. Her mother had found her brother's mangled body in the back yard, the moonlight illuminating the deep gashes and open wounds that led to his death. Cries echoed in her head; her mother tried to resurrect him…he wasn't moving… She couldn't trouble her mother with something like this, especially at this time.

Faye was glad that it was a Sunday, as it gave her an excuse to roam around the castle without classes. But she was feeling more alone than ever. Aside from being mixed in all aspects of feelings for Remus, Faye felt frustrated that she couldn't talk this out with anybody. She respected Remus's secret, and didn't want to spill, but how long would she hold it in before she spilled it out accidentally?

Sirius, James and Peter already knew about Remus, but what had they been doing in the shack? Faye shook her head. She didn't know any of the three well enough to discuss her problems with.

Sighing, Faye stood up from her bed and left the room. Departing from the common room altogether, she entered the hallways of Hogwarts. The winter sun shone through brilliantly through the windows, but Faye didn't notice anything around her.

"Can I still love him?" Faye said out loud, turning into a deserted corridor.

"Talking to yourself?" came the cackle of Peeves.

Faye turned to face the Poltergeist, who was grinning evilly at her, balancing two very large water balloons in his hand. "Go flush yourself down a toilet," she snapped.

Peeves's grin turned ugly. "I can get you wet another way," he sang, lobbing one water balloon into the air and catching it with his hand.

On a normal day, Faye would have run for her life. But this day, she didn't care whatsoever about getting a little wet. Maybe she needed the shock of icy water to bring her back to reality. "Hit me with your best shot," she challenged.

Peeves looked surprised at first, but then transfigured that look into a demonic grin. He cackled loudly and threw back his arm. Faye braced herself…

"Impedimenta!"

Faye opened her eyes in shock and saw Peeves zooming away, cursing loudly. The water balloons dropped to the group and exploded nowhere near Faye.

"Are you alright?" Marcella said, rushing over, her wand still raised. Lily was right at her heels.

"I guess," Faye said, forcing a grin. "You guys didn't need to do that."

Marcella looked at her friend closely. Something about Faye wasn't quite right. The three girls hadn't talked privately in a long time, and Lily had always suspected that something was wrong. Now, looking at Faye's darkened eyes, Marcella knew Lily was right.

"Nah, I've always wanted to do that," Marcella said lightly.

Faye laughed. Lily noticed how forced it was.

"Is there something that's bothering you?" Lily asked gently.

"No," Faye said quickly.

Marcella could tell by the tone of her voice that she was lying. "Well, alright," she said, shrugging. "Now that Peeves is gone, I guess our job here is done. Let's go, Lils."

Lily stared at Marcella. Marcella gave her a look that plainly said 'don't contradict me'.

"Right," Lily said, smiling at Faye. "I guess we'll see you around."

"Wait," Faye said quickly, wringing her hands. She sighed. "I guess there is something bothering me, but I don't know if I should say anything…"

"We're here to listen if you want to talk," Marcella said gently. "We're not forcing anything. We're worried about you, Faye. You just seem so…out of it. But again, if you don't feel like talking, then that's alright too."

Faye took a shuddering breath. "It's about Remus," she said, biting her lip.

"Did you two break up?" Lily frowned. "I never see you two together anymore."

"Not officially," Faye said quietly.

Lily and Marcella waited patiently.

"He told me something…" Faye said. Then, she paused. She couldn't spill Remus's secret.

Lily and Marcella looked at each other. "Well, go on," Lily said.

Faye started to pace. "He-he told me something that I didn't want to hear, and I panicked. I mean, he was finally telling me the truth, but he had waited so long to do it, and the truth was just so horrible…" She was rambling, and she knew it.

Faye shook her head and started to pace even faster. She was beginning to sweat. "And I just didn't know what to do! Because my brother, I mean, you guys don't know, but he-well, anyways, what Remus said just caught me off guard…"

Her voice was rising, slowly but surely. "And then he said that he was- and I was-I didn't know what to do, I felt sad and confused and betrayed and angry, my mind stopped, and my brain felt like it was malfunctioning, but my heart felt like it had been stabbed a thousand times over, but I was still so confused…"

Faye's voice had now risen to a shrill shriek. Tears were fighting their way out of her eyelids. "And I told him I couldn't love him, and maybe I was right, but I don't know…"

"Faye," Marcella said, alarmed at the hysterical routine of her friend. "It's okay. I'm sure whatever it is you two can work it out."

"It's not okay!" Faye screamed, turning to look at her with a wild look in her eyes. "He's a WEREWOLF!"

As soon as she uttered the last words, Faye collapsed on the ground, shocked, with her hands over her mouth. "Oh my God," she whispered. "I shouldn't have said that…"

Both Lily and Marcella stared at her, unable to speak.

"He's a what?" Lily whispered finally, breaking the silence.

Faye was sobbing freely now. "He's a werewolf," she said, ashamed at herself. "A werewolf. One of the kind that killed my little brother."

Lily and Marcella immediately sat down on the floor beside Faye. They were both too shocked to speak.

"Am I not allowed to be a little afraid?" Faye whispered slowly.

Wordlessly, Marcella and Lily leaned in to hug her. As they let go, Lily's mind was reeling. She didn't know what to say. She wasn't prepared for something like this. How do you just tell your friend that everything is going to be okay when her boyfriend is a werewolf?


	55. Confrontation

A/N: Before I start, I would truly like to apologize for my lack of updates. I've been completely on edge with SAT's, and the scores have come back...and I did alright! Whoot! Relief. So, now I have more free time to write, and the next chapter will be up within a week or two, as I've already started on it!

Now, about this chapter. I was writing this over a month, bits and pieces every time, so I would really like to apologize for the less than smooth flow of it. I tried to edit it, but...well, I'll just have to work with it, won't I? Please forgive me! I might go back and refix it in the future.

And of course, thanks to all the patient people who have stuck with me for so long, and who (rightly) can yell at me after I post this. Thanks to Young Prewett, Kates Master, Padfoot2446, SweetLikeALemon, elise bentwin, LeonaKat (going until a bit after their death, for now!), Kendra-the hyper one, living-is-easy-with-eyes-closed, Miwako, Phanthom, Goddess of Grammar, Mrs. Radcliffe-Efron, DianaMC, RitaSkeeterGossip, elven cats eyes (five times!), brona, Snuffles Is My Idol O.o, 3-Legged Dog, shopaholic90, dixio (three times!), tresdrole, dumbledoresgirl1 (twice!), ghosty, and Sissyspacedout! Thank you all so much!

* * *

_January, 1977_

* * *

Confrontation

Lily and James were off somewhere on patrol, and Remus was thoroughly bored. Sirius for some reasons just wanted to sit around the common room, doing absolutely nothing, and Peter…well, Peter never really had any original ideas. Remus had finished all his homework, and was now resorting to drumming his fingers on the couch.

"Guys, please," he pleaded. "Can we please go do something? I think I'm going to explode."

"No," Sirius said tonelessly.

Remus ignored him. "D'you want to go down to the library?" Remus suggested. "We could study transfiguration."

"Remus, no," Peter groaned.

"Why not?" Remus said defensively. "We're being tested on the new spells tomorrow."

"Do you honestly think that's what I would rather be doing?" Sirius growled.

"Unless you want to sit around here and rot, I'd say the library is a desirable destination," Remus said flatly. "Do you have anything better?"

Sirius slumped back in his seat. The three sat in silence for a while. Suddenly, Sirius's eye gleamed.

"Uh oh," Remus said, smiling a bit. "What do you have planned, Padfoot?"

"How about we go exploring?" Sirius said excitedly.

"Without James?" Peter asked.

Sirius rounded on him, the look of excitement turning into an ugly glare. "What's that supposed to mean?" Sirius growled.

Peter faltered, looking scared. "I-" he stuttered.

"Why does everything have to revolve around him?" Sirius said angrily, ignoring Peter.

"It doesn't," Remus said calmly.

"We're going exploring," Sirius said resolutely, as if he didn't hear Remus. "And we're going to do it without Potter." He stood up abruptly. Both Remus and Peter were too scared to disagree.

Remus registered the use of James's surname as a sure sign of trouble. He hadn't heard Sirius say it since First Year. He knew that Sirius was losing his temper more and more quickly by the day. As James was currently patrolling with Lily, Sirius must have felt a bit betrayed, and was exerting that pent-up anger and energy into exploration. As it was a relatively harmless way to calm Sirius down, Remus had no problems going along with the exploration.

"What time is it?" Peter asked.

"Who cares?" Sirius said roughly. "Look, we're going to be back before curfew. The Head Boy might throw us all into detention if we don't." Then, Sirius laughed, as if that was preposterous. Remus noticed how hollow it was.

"Alright," Remus shrugged. "Let's go."

"Hold on," Sirius said. "I'm going to grab the map."

He dashed upstairs and returned a few minutes later, clutching the map in his hand. "Alright. Let's go."

It was half past seven and the halls were dotted with a few people here and there. It was one of the few days that Remus didn't have patrol, and today he wasn't thankful for it. He would rather have patrol than listen to Sirius rant about James, when he refuses to even talk to James about it. Remus could tell that James was extremely confused about what was going on with Sirius, but never had the time to really think about what might be bothering his best friend.

The three marauders set out together, not quite sure where to go. They first went to the kitchen and nicked some food, for Sirius was always hungry. Then, they went outside for a while. Pretty quickly, however, the sky darkened, and they were forced back into the castle by the blistering cold.

"I know," Peter said excitedly. "Let's go visit the Room of Requirement!"

"That isn't really exploring, though," Sirius said moodily.

"We haven't really been doing much exploration," Remus said fairly. "We've been to the kitchen a thousand times."

"Alright," Sirius said resignedly. "Off to the Room of Requirement we go."

Peter looked thrilled to have finally gotten his way. Obviously he wasn't too happy about the rift between James and Sirius, but a part of him was excited. This was one of the few times that James and Sirius weren't that close, and it made him feel more like part of the group.

On their way up to the Room of Requirement, Sirius had the distinct feeling that somebody was following them. He whipped out the map and tapped it quietly, muttering the password softly. His suspicions were confirmed.

"Snivellus," he spat, suddenly wheeling around. "Why the hell are you following us?"

Snape looked surprised at first, but then recovered quickly. "I'm not," he said, eyes narrowed.

"Oh, really?" Sirius jeered. "Can't get enough of us, can you?"

Both he and Snape pulled out their wands at the same time. Sirius stood there, face malicious, eyes gleaming. He was breathing heavily, but he welcomed the challenge of Snape. Maybe blasting the hell out of his enemy would make him feel better. Certainly, nothing could make him feel worse.

"Enough," Remus said, stepping between the two of them. "This is childish. You two need to get over childhood feuds. Put down your wands right now."

"Moony, get out of this!" Sirius ordered, trying to push him aside.

Remus stood his ground. "I'm not leaving until you two put your wands down. I have full right to give you both detentions."

"So do I," Snape spat.

There was a tense silence.

Suddenly, without warning, Snape made a silent movement with his wand. A spell with tremendous force hit Remus, and he went flying and landed with a loud thud on the ground.

Sirius let out a roar of rage. He started shouting out random spells, whichever one came to mind. He wanted to destroy. He needed to destroy. There was no more Remus there to stop him, no more barriers. He would destroy until his pain went away.

A small crowd had gathered to watch. One spell in particular hit Snape full in the face and when he got back up from the ground, his nose was bleeding.

"Maybe now your grease can wash out, you slimeball," Sirius spat. The crowd cheered.

Snape, face livid, sent a couple of spells flying at Sirius. But Sirius dodged them, laughing. "Give me a challenge, Snivellus," he taunted, still laughing. Sirius waved his wand, and another spell hit Snape full-force. Snape keeled over.

Sirius laughed again triumphantly. Peter stood against the wall, thoroughly scared. Sirius raised his wand again.

"STOP!" a voice shouted loudly.

Snape and Sirius both whipped around to see Lily and James striding toward them. Lily's hair seemed to crackle with electricity. "Clear the area, now," she commanded. The small crowd of people immediately scurried away, not wanting to face the wrath of Lily Evans.

"Severus, are you alright?" Lily asked, offering a hand to Snape.

Snape glared at her and got up himself. Lily withdrew her hand.

"A week's worth of detention," James said, glaring at Snape.

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Fine," he spat. "I'll honor you and the Mudblood."

"What did you call her?" James said angrily, starting toward Snape.

"James, let it go," Lily said impatiently. "Snape. Hospital wing. Now."

Snape glared at her one last time before he grudgingly set off to the hospital wing.

James and Lily turned as one to face Remus, who was now recovering on the ground, and Sirius, whose hollow laughter had not quite died from his face.

"Sirius, why did you do that?" James asked. "You don't have to curse Snape all the time, you know."

Sirius stared at him. This couldn't be James speaking. No, it couldn't. It was Lily speaking through him, wasn't it? The old James would never say something like that…

His face hardened. "Old habits die hard," he snapped.

James looked at Sirius, trying to figure out what had happened to his best friend. There was so much that they didn't say to each other. James was beginning to feel like he didn't know Sirius anymore.

"James," Lily said with a hint of impatience. "Hurry up, will you? You know what you have to do. We have patrol to do."

Remus finally stood up, and his heart began to beat faster. Was James seriously about to do what Remus thought he was going to do?

"Lily," James began, voice betraying a hint of pleading.

"James," Lily said quietly, firmly. "Just do it. You have to."

James looked away from Sirius, trying to keep his hands from shaking. He looked at Lily, whose green eyes were boring holes straight through him. "A week of detention, Sirius," he said, and every word shook violently. "Don't do it again."

He chanced a look back at Sirius. Sirius stared at him, eyes hollow. All the color had drained from his face. He looked gaunt, skeletal, and his eyes were so full of hurt that James could barely look at him without cringing.

Then, without a word, Sirius turned on his heels and strode quickly away

James let out a shuddering breath. "I can't believe I just did that," he whispered. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them, he saw both Remus and Peter gaping at him in disbelief.

"You did the right thing," Lily said impatiently. "Now let's go, we're supposed to be patrolling, not standing in one area."

James waved goodbye to Remus and Peter, and disappeared with Lily down the hall.

"What just happened?" Peter asked Remus fearfully.

Remus's mind was reeling. James had just given Sirius detention. Sirius was used to detention, but from James…Remus recalled the times he was too scared to give his friends detention back in fifth and sixth year. He knew James had too much courage, but sadly it probably wasn't the right time to use it.

Remus shook his head. "I wish I knew," he sighed sadly. "All I know is that this is not going to help Sirius's temper."

* * *

James arrived back at the common room late at night. He cringed every time he thought about what had happened an hour ago. Shaking his head, he shuddered, and clambered up to the dorm room.

As he pushed open the door, he found the light on. Remus was still up, reading a book for transfiguration. Peter was trying to charm a quill. Sirius, however, was asleep, his loud snores filling up the room. James looked at him suspiciously. Sirius never went to sleep before Remus and Peter, and he didn't snore.

"Moony, is he asleep?" James asked Remus quietly.

Remus gave him a look that plainly indicated that he refused to answer.

James sighed and walked beside Sirius's bed. "Padfoot, I'm sorry, alright? I know you're awake." James paused. "I had no choice."

Sirius sprung up from his bed at once, with eyes full of fury. His fists were balled tightly into his clamped, damp hands, and they were shaking slightly. "You did have a choice," he spat, glaring at James so coldly that James shivered involuntarily. Remus, sitting on the side, closed his eyes.

"Sirius," James began, but Sirius abruptly turned away from James and snatched up the covers from his own bed.

"Where are you going?" James asked Sirius as Sirius kicked his way to the door.

"I'm not sleeping here," he said icily, and slammed the dormitory door behind him.

"Padfoot, come back here!" James said loudly, flinging the door open and rushing out of it on Sirius's heel. "Can't we talk about some of this? Hell! I didn't have a bloody choice, Sirius!"

Sirius was halfway down the stairs by now, stomping quickly as if his life depended on it. He ignored James.

"What was I supposed to do?" James said, panting, trying to keep up with Sirius. "Sirius. Stop!" He caught hold of the neck of Sirius's shirt.

Sirius stopped and whipped around so abruptly that James let go. His face was convoluted and contorted in a mixture of anger and confusion. "What were you supposed to do?" he growled, each word ringing with disbelief. "You were supposed to keep to our promise. You were supposed to think of your friends."

James clenched his jaw. "This is my job, Sirius."

"And you're becoming so attached to it," Sirius said dryly. "Why don't you go marry it? Or is Lily your job? I'm sure you love to do it, then."

James did a double-take and glared at Sirius angrily. "How could you," he said in anger. His voice shook.

Sirius shook his head. His eyes were stormy and lost, filled with something almost inhuman. "How could _you_?" he said hoarsely. Sirius gathered up his covers roughly in his arms and continued on his rampage out of the common room.

"Sirius, stop," James said again forcefully. With the quick agile style of a Quidditch player, he lunged and once again caught Sirius by the neck of his shirt. Sirius once again whipped around forcefully, but this time, James did not let go.

"You let go of me, Potter," Sirius seethed.

"No," James said firmly. "Not until I know what's bothering you. We need to talk."

"I have nothing to talk to you about," Sirius said, baring his teeth. "Let me go. Now." He pulled out his wand and aimed it at James's face.

James stood his ground, staring forcefully into the unreadable anger in Sirius's face. He thought he saw a trace of hurt pass by.

Sirius glared at James. His face fully read that he would curse James if James didn't let go. But James glared staunchly back. His face plainly told Sirius that letting go was not an option.

With a quick movement, Sirius clenched his jaw and brought down his wand in a swift movement. James flinched and withdrew his hand as if it had been burned. Sirius gave one last vindictive look at James before disappearing out of the portrait hole.

James stood in the middle of the common room, massaging his hand. Shaking his head in disbelief, he trekked back up to the dormitory.

"What happened?" Peter asked as James reentered the room. "Where's Padfoot?"

"Gone," James sighed. "I don't know why he's making such a big deal out of this."

Remus couldn't help but glaring at James.

James caught this. "Remus, you don't think I should apologize, should I?" he asked disbelievingly. "I'm not even sure why he's so mad. Help me, Moony."

Remus looked back down at his book. "I can't help you, James, not this time. Work it out yourselves."

"But-" James started.

"No," Remus said firmly.

James looked at his friend, and wondered if he really had waited too long to speak.

* * *

James stepped sleepily into the corridor that contained the Room of Requirement. It was six in the morning, and a Friday. James never woke up this early, especially when Remus was still sleeping, but he needed to work things out with Sirius. Sirius was not in the common room when James had woken up this morning, and James had a hunch that Sirius was in the Room of Requirement.

"Alright," James whispered out loud to himself. He thought explicitly of what Sirius would think if he needed a place to crash for the night.

_I need a place to crash for the night, _he thought over and over again as he paced back and forth in front of the room.

The third time, a door appeared. James threw open the door excitedly, but the room was empty. On a big bed, however, James spied Sirius's blankets. He groaned. "Oh come on," he said out loud to no one in particular.

James tore out of the room and thundered down to the Great Hall. Sirius had to be there. After all, he was always hungry. But when James reached the long tables, a couple of scattered Gryffindors sat, eating-and not one of them were Sirius. James swore loudly. It was lucky that most of the teachers had not arrived to breakfast yet.

James waited patiently until class. He waited for Sirius to appear, but Sirius did not appear until the last second, and then chose a seat far away from the Marauders. Frustrated, James tried to reach him after class, but Sirius was out of sight before James could even talk to him. The next class James showed up at the last minute, hoping to catch Sirius. To his dismay, he found Sirius sitting a lone in the corner, shrouded by a bunch of giggling girls that James did not dare go near. Once again, Sirius tore out of the classroom before James had any chance to speak to him. Remus watched the events unfold, slightly amused at how well Sirius knew James even in times of discord.

Finally, after their last class, James managed to get hold of Sirius as he attempted to flee out of the room.

"Sirius, we need to talk," James said firmly, wrenching Sirius's arm tightly.

Sirius kept on walking, ignoring the pain on his arm.

"Aren't we marauders?" James said pleadingly. "Sirius, talk to me."

Sirius's face was instantly darkened. "Marauders?" he said, voice shaking so badly James loosened the grip on his arm. "You ask me if we are _marauders_?" He threw back his head and let out a derisive laugh. When he turned his face back to James, his eyes were wild. "You forgot," Sirius spat. "You forgot us."

"Sirius," James began.

"Get away from me," Sirius said, turning away from James. "There is nothing to talk about." He wrenched his arm from the now-loosened grip of James and sped out of sight, lost among the milling crowd.

The afternoon sun shone coldly on James's face. The bitterness of winter had not died, and had not yet been replaced by verdure. Gray clouds loomed, threatening rainfall. James looked out grimly upon the open doors of the entrance hall, lost.

* * *

Sirius snatched up the map and studied it eagerly. He knew that James still needed Lily's permission to go on patrol. The thought of Lily and James made him seethe, so he shook it out of his mind.

Peter was in the library doing some last-minute studying, and McGonagall was coming to retrieve Remus any minute. Sirius stood up. He was too angry to wait for James. He stole out of the dormitory and down the stairs, where he saw the robes of McGonagall and Remus disappear out the portrait hole. Smiling hollowly, Sirius steadied the map in his hands and proceeded out of the common room as well.

Sirius walked along slowly, meandering. He felt a certain relief and savage pleasure in realizing that James was not going to have the map. A part of Sirius wished James would be caught sneaking out, but he then shook his head, thinking of how badly that would damage Remus.

Sirius was so preoccupied that he didn't even notice Peter, who he passed. Peter stared at Sirius and the map, too scared to speak up. Checking the map every so often, Sirius wandered down to the Whomping Willow.

Once there, he conjured up a long stick, and stuck it through the slashing branches to press the knot. He slid down the hole and into the tunnel. Once there, Sirius felt like crying. "AAARGH!" Sirius screamed. He drew back his fist and punched the wall of the tunnel with all his might. He felt his skin scrape, and he felt the thick blood trickle down his hand, but he didn't care. The pain was welcome.

Sinking down to the ground, he shook his hand, so that droplets of blood splattered upon the damp earth. Sirius shook his head. Digging his heels into the ground, he forced himself back up, and threw his body forward. The caked, drying blood on his hand made movement uncomfortable, but the pain hadn't sunken in yet.

Back in the common room, James had just met up with Peter.

"Where the hell is Sirius?" James growled, pacing back and forth. "I don't care if we're in a fight, he cannot jeopardize Remus's life."

"I saw him walking down to the Whomping Willow," Peter spoke up.

James wheeled around. "What?" he said disbelievingly.

"He had the map," Peter said helplessly.

"Why didn't you stop him?" James asked.

"I was too scared," Peter said in a small voice.

James breathed in heavily. He closed his eyes, then opened them again. "Alright, Wormtail, we're leaving."

"How?" Peter asked, terrified. "We don't have the map!"

James squatted down and pulled the invisibility cloak out of his trunk. "Let's just hope there's no strong wind," he said grimly.

Back in the tunnel, Sirius was still leaning against the wall. Suddenly, thunder cracked menacingly, and Sirius heard rain falling to the ground. Torrents of the rain splattered, and some made its way down the hole and into the tunnel. Sirius blindly stumbled to the hole leading to the tunnel. The Willow was thrashing even harder, as if trying to fight against the raindrops. Sirius stood at the hole, and felt the occasional splatters of rain pound his face.

He opened his mouth and let out a chilling laugh. It echoed darkly through the tunnel, sound bouncing off and reverberating in every direction. Sirius knew he had been laughing too often, and he knew Remus worried about him. But he couldn't stop. It was his way to deal. It was his easy way out.

Through the rain, he could see two figures suddenly appearing by the Willow, and in squinting his eyes, saw it to be James and Peter. Sirius stumbled back into the tunnel, and gasped, breathing in the damp air. He picked up the Marauder's Map from the muddy ground. It was covered in specks of mud, but he didn't care at the moment. His legs sinking into the mud, Sirius made his way to the Shrieking Shack.

"Where were you?" Remus asked Sirius as he trampled in.

"In the tunnel," Sirius said tonelessly.

Remus searched his friend with widened eyes, noting the Marauder's Map in Sirius's bloody hand, noting the state of his drenched clothes. "Where are James and Peter?" he asked, voice dropping.

Sirius looked at Remus, then looked down at the ground.

"Sirius, what did you do?' Remus asked, voice now rising, a panic coming into his voice. "Where are they?"

"Right here," James said. He and Peter entered into the tunnel, cloak in hand.

"Thank God," Remus breathed. "I thought you two weren't going to make it."

James wasn't listening to him. He dropped the cloak, which Peter immediately picked up, and strode straight over to Sirius, drew back his hand and punched him in the face. "You selfish bastard," he spat.

Sirius flinched from the punch, and looked at James with hollow eyes. He didn't respond with anything, but simply stood there, arms rigid, hand clutching the map. The two stared at each other for what seemed like hours.

"Guys, Remus is transforming!" Peter yelled suddenly, backing away. Both James and Sirius turned and saw Remus go rigid. With one last glare at each other, they both transformed into their animagi forms.

Moony stopped transforming, and stared at the stag and the dog blankly. Prongs stared at the wolf right back. He was expecting Moony to lunge, but the next thing he knew, a blurry shape had knocked him backward. Staggering up, Prongs stared into the snarling face of Padfoot. Prongs' eyes narrowed dangerously. _This is not the time to take out aggression!_ he wanted to shout. But he couldn't.

Moony, instead of howling, scratching or biting, simply stood, rather transfixed by the scene before his eyes. Wormtail eyed the scene nervously, on edge.

Padfoot's eyes were full of a wild fury, an uncontrollable anger. Sirius didn't even feel like he had control over his body-it seemed like his anger was controlling him. He was mad at James. For the first time, he realized he was truly mad at his best friend. He lunged wildly again for Prongs. Prongs was ready for him. Just like he would do to Moony, he fended Padfoot off and pushed him away with his antlers.

Sirius could feel his blood pumping. He was almost blind to what he was doing, but he couldn't regain control. It was as if a second monster had been created. He lunged full-force at Prongs, this time successfully knocking the stag off his feet. Before James could fend himself in any way, Padfoot once again flew into the air and slammed on top of Prongs. Dazed, James could only do what he could. He fended off the attacks, and occasionally threw in a kick or a lunge.

Wormtail was staring, terrified at the events. He decided to turn and see what Moony was doing…and saw Moony prancing toward the tunnel, sneering. Wormtail let out an alarming squeak-Remus had not fought his way back, and Moony, seizing the opportunity, was sneaking out of the tunnel.

It took Prongs a few moments to realize Wormtail's squeaks. As he saw the shadow of Moony disappear into the darkness of the tunnel, he tried to wrench himself away from the attacking Padfoot. It took a couple of tries, but he finally broke free, and tore into the tunnel, Padfoot on his heels.

The rain was beating down mercilessly. Prongs panicked-he could not see the shape of moony through the downpour, though he did notice the lashing of the trees had stopped. He cautiously stepped out, and was immediately thrown down onto the floor by Padfoot, who had knocked him over. The two rolled down out of the tree's vicinity, the mud covering their bodies, their wounds. Neither could properly open their eyes. Prongs was desperately defending himself. Padfoot was growling and lunging. Wormtail had finally made his way out of the tunnel and was now trying to run in between the raindrops.

In the shield of dark and rain, Prongs could distinctly hear humming from far away. Padfoot heard it too, for he had stopped and his ears had perked up. The rain distorted the noise, but Padfoot was almost sure that it was Hagrid approaching the entrance of the castle, near where they were rolling around at this moment. Both Sirius and James froze and looked at each other.

Out of nowhere bounded a black shape, hurtling toward the sound of Hagrid's voice. Prongs reacted immediately. Dashing at top speed, he reached Moony and lunged at him, pinning the wolf down with his antlers. Moony growled menacingly. The humming was getting closer, and now the distinct light of a lantern could be seen protruding out of the darkness.

With a sudden bite, Moony escaped the grips of Prongs' antlers, and hurtled once more toward the speck of light. Prongs once again gave chase, and was praying to God Hagrid would not hear the oncoming werewolf. Luckily, the downpour gave an extremely heave shield both in sight and in hearing.

Prongs intercepted Moony and tackled him out of Hagrid's way. Hagrid had now stopped. He had undoubtedly seen something move. "Who's ou' there?" he boomed, swinging the lantern around him.

Prongs was trying desperately to pin down Moony again. The werewolf was still for a moment-then it grinned evilly and once again wrenched itself from Prongs. Prongs got up again to give chase, but before he could reach Moony, Moony had set its paw straight into the mud, and lunged straight at Hagrid.

The blurry vision of Padfoot tackled Moony in midair. Hagrid's attention was now fully turned to the shape that had passed him straight by. "Who's ou' there?" he boomed once again through the roaring rain. He swung around wildly a couple of times. Prongs held his breath. Nearby, Wormtail was squeaking madly, running around in a circle.

Padfoot and Moony had rolled down the mud now and were struggling against each other near the edge of the forbidden forest. To Prongs's horror, Hagrid now turned and walked slowly in that direction. Thinking fast, he picked up Wormtail with his antlers and threw him blindly at Hagrid. All the years of Quidditch training in the rain with the Quaffle came together. The rat hit Hagrid in the face, and Hagrid was distracted. He swung his lantern round and round, but could not see anything that had attacked him, as Wormtail was so small.

It bought enough time. Padfoot and Moony had retreated into the depths of the forest, and were now out of sight completely. After another pause, Hagrid started walking and humming loudly again, heading toward the castle. Immediately, Prongs bounded near the forest and joined in the fray in trying to subdue Moony.

Hours passed, and Remus finally gained control, but he did not look at either Padfoot or Prongs the entire time. The four animals retreated back to the Shack. Padfoot's energy seemed completely worn. James was still angry at Sirius. It was a tense time until the sun came up. Remus transformed back peacefully. Then Sirius retrieved the map and left alone. James glared at Sirius's retreating back before beckoning to Peter. They both slipped on the invisibility cloak and sped out of sight before Madam Pomfrey entered the Shack.


	56. Working Things Out

A/N: I'm truly sorry for the delay, but I wanted to make this chapter good, as it is a milestone in many ways. I enjoyed writing it immensely, and I really hope you all will enjoy reading it too! It's really part two of the last chapter I wrote.

As for me, yes, I will be going on vacation, but also, I will be bringing with me my laptop. So, you might get a couple of updates, as a Christmahannukwanza treat, either a bit early, or a bit late. I do promise to work on it, though. That is the truth.

And of course, thanks to all the dedicated readers and reviewers. You all are my driving force. Thanks sooo much to Skippy Agogo, SnufflesLuva, MaraudingChick, Contorce, Miracle Angel Summers, Nietta, Siriute, Kates Master, living-is-easy-with-eyes-closed, Brona, LeonaKat (all things will be explained in due time, but I'm taking it a bit past the Potters' death), Kendra-the hyper one, elise bentwin, DianaMC, RitaSkeeterGossip, Young Prewett, Cappygal116, MarisAlexia, chocoluvr, , elven cats eyes (twice!), Eclipses Shade, Alex, aclytie, and theo darkstar! Thank you all a million times over, you all rock!

* * *

_January, 1978_

* * *

Working Things Out

James, Sirius and Peter arrived in the hospital wing around the same time on the cold Saturday morning after the full moon. The three looked at each other awkwardly, and proceeded to Remus's bed in the corner that they were so familiar with.

Remus was still asleep. Sirius and James had turned away from each other, arms crossed. They seemed a bit like children after a childish fight. The scene was almost comical. Peter sighed, standing in between the two.

"So, guys," Peter asked warily. "How much did both of you sleep?"

"Couple of hours," James grunted, while Sirius ignored both of them.

Then, silence fell again.

Minutes later, Remus's eyes opened slowly, and he grunted at seeing them. Immediately, the three friends gathered around him. "Hey Moony," James said quietly, kneeling beside the bed. "How're you feeling?"

Remus looked at James for a second. Something like anger seemed to flash in his eyes. He turned away quickly and did not respond.

"Come on, speak to us," James said, forcing a smile.

Remus remained silent.

"Are you alright?" Sirius asked abruptly.

"Not really," Remus said acidly.

Sirius, James and Peter were all taken aback by his tone. "What's wrong?" Peter frowned.

"Oh, it's nothing to do with you," Remus said to Peter, eyes narrowing. "It's these two idiots."

"What have we done?" James said defensively.

"Are you two speaking to each other again?" Remus asked shortly.

Both James and Sirius remained silent.

"That proves my point. You two are idiots." Remus pulled the covers over his chin. His hands were shaking slightly.

"Remus," James said pleadingly. "You're being unfair."

"Oh, I'm so unfair," Remus said sarcastically, throwing his hands up in the air. "You're right. It's not fair for all three of you to being in the Shack on full moon nights if you're not going to do anything about me. In fact, from now on, just stop going. It should be fairer to Peter, at least."

Peter turned red. Sirius narrowed his eyes at Remus. "What's bothering you?"

Remus glared at both Sirius and James. "You bloody well know I'm not unconscious during full moon nights. I try to fight my way back. And as I'm fighting the wolf, you two start fighting each other."

"I didn't start it!" James said loudly. Sirius glared at him.

"It doesn't matter!" Remus snapped. "You two almost let me escape! Did you ever think about that? Did you ever think of what would have happened if, say, the entrance door to the castle was open? How about if I attacked Hagrid and killed him?" His voice had risen to a scream.

"Moony," Sirius started.

"You thought about your own selfish fight, or maybe you didn't think at all. Do you know why I let you guys in there when I transform? I trust you! I trust you not to be idiots, and I trust you to keep me in line! Isn't that why you're there?"

"Sirius-" James started.

"Neither of you blame this on the other," Remus said loudly. "You brought it upon yourselves. But you didn't think about why you were in that Shack on full moon nights." He shook his head. "If you two want to tackle the hell out of each other, go ahead, but not when I can seriously kill somebody!"

"Remus, please, quiet down," James said pleadingly, hoping Madam Pomfrey could not hear Remus's voice.

"I'm tired of being quiet!" Remus said angrily. "But if you two don't pull your heads out and talk things over, I swear on pain of death I will never speak to either of you again!"

James and Sirius looked at each other uneasily.

"And don't think I'm joking either!" Remus said, pulling the covers back over his chin.

There was a moment of awkward silence. "Go," Remus said finally, refusing to look at any of them.

Sirius turned on his heel and swiftly left the room. James and Peter looked at each other for a moment, then followed suit.

* * *

Sirius sat alone by the river, dipping his feet into the icy cold water. He wanted to punch something. He was still furious with James, but didn't dare confront him again, not with Remus's threat in mind. Sirius knew that Remus would never speak to them again if they kept on fighting. Remus was persistent like that.

The brittle dead leaves swirled around him like a tornado. Spring was coming, some of the lush green poking out from beneath the damp earth. Sirius could feel his robes getting wet due to last night's heavy rain, but he didn't care.

Footsteps sounded behind him and stopped just short of him. Sirius shook his head. "What do you want, James?" he said tonelessly. It was amazing to him how he could still tell his friend out in times of anger.

James sat down beside Sirius and flung off his shoes. He too dipped his feet into the water. "I want to talk to you."

"Do I have a choice?" Sirius said bitterly.

"Well, not really," James said apologetically. "Neither of us wants to lose Remus."

Sirius remained silent.

"You were right though," James breathed, looking out across the lake. His breath misted in front of his face. "I did have a choice. I had a choice, and I chose to send you into detention."

"I know that," Sirius said darkly.

James opened his mouth, then closed it again.

Sirius looked across the lake as well. "So why did you do it?" he asked blankly.

"I was caught up in the moment, I guess," James said quietly.

Sirius looked at him expectantly.

"I mean, I think I was too caught up in my job as Head Boy that I disregarded our friendship pact for a moment," James continued, staring down at his feet. "I'm sorry."

There was a moment of silence.

"Is that it?" Sirius asked disbelievingly. "That's all you have to say? You didn't disregard our friendship for just a moment, James. You've been doing it for months."

James turned and looked at him, confused.

Sirius stood up abruptly, his feet digging angrily into the muddy ground. "Where do you place your loyalty?" he said, voice shaking. "Is it with us, or Lily?"

"What are you talking about?" James said confusedly. "Are you asking me to choose between you guys and Lily?"

"Well, apparently you can't fit into both categories," Sirius said angrily.

"Yes, I can!" James argued loudly.

"You're a different person around her," Sirius snapped. "It's like we completely disappear out of your head the moment you see her."

"That is not true," James said defiantly, springing to his feet.

"Will you stop being so stupid?" Sirius said, exasperated. His eyes had grown darker. "Answer me this truthfully. If you were head boy this year, without Lily, would you have put me into detention?"

James looked at Sirius. "I already said I was sorry about that," James said softly.

"The detention is not the problem," Sirius said impatiently. "I don't really care about spending an extra ten hours in McGonagall's office. It's practically my second dorm. You said you made a choice, and you did. You chose her. Over me."

"No, Padfoot, I didn't-"

"Would you have done it if Lily wasn't there?"

James's eyes flickered.

Sirius shook his head. "I didn't think so," he said bitterly. "She's changed you, Prongs. You're different now. "

"How?" James asked quietly.

"You really don't see it," Sirius said disbelievingly.

James simply stared at Sirius.

"If I gave you a pensieve, with everything that's happened, maybe you would see the same things I see," Sirius said, looking across the lake again. "You're happy, Prongs. You're with somebody you really like, hell, really love. I should be happy for you. I should be a good friend, I should be supportive. But I - I feel like I'm losing you, you know?" He paused. "I'm not the best person. You know that."

"Sirius," James began.

"And with Lily Evans," Sirius said, letting out a bitter laugh. "Well, times do change. And people change."

"Sirius," James started again.

"No, let me talk," Sirius said quietly. His eyes were hollow. "Do you remember all the milestones? The Animagi, the Marauders' Map." He smiled ruefully. "We did it together, the four of us. Together," he repeated.

"And what have we done this year, besides almost getting killed a couple times? I haven't seen you without Lily for the past month. Remus is right, I shouldn't blame her. It's not her fault, after all. I shouldn't blame you either."

He shook his head. "But you're different. We don't prank around anymore. We don't joke anymore. We don't break rules anymore. What are we living for, James?"

"We can't stay kids forever," James said softly. "We have to grow up."

"We may have to grow up, but I don't want us to change who we are," Sirius said, hands shaking a bit. "I still want us to be - to be us." The dark and stormy look in his eyes broke, to be replaced by a sad one.

James looked at him, a loss for words.

"Do you remember our pact?" Sirius said, smiling sadly. "Marauders forever. Friends forever. We promised each other that we would always stand by one another."

"I remember!" James said earnestly.

"Do you?" Sirius asked quietly.

"Of course," James said. "I would never forget."

"I guess - what I'm trying to say, is - I'm afraid," Sirius said, voice starting to shake unsteadily. "I'm scared that the heart of this friendship will fade. You guys are the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'd be too afraid to ever let go. I'm scared of change, James." His voice had lowered to a whisper. James had never seen his friend so vulnerable before.

"I can't lose this friendship," Sirius said brokenly. "I'd be lost. I'd be without a family. I wouldn't know who I am."

Sirius blinked back tears, and turned away. And James's heart welled with so much hurt that it was almost unbearable.

James knew he cared for Lily. But the past years came back to him in a whirlwind. It was Sirius who always thought up of new ideas to have fun, who kept him amused, who made him laugh when he was in a bad mood. It was Sirius who always fought alongside him against Snape, and defended him through any hard times, stuck up for him. It was Sirius who showed up to almost all the Quidditch practices, no matter how much he hated them.

Sirius had always been there for him. And James realized with a sinking feeling that he had not been there for Sirius this past year. He had known Lily for a couple of months. He and Sirius were supposed to be brothers.

Family.

"Padfoot, I've been a selfish bastard," James whispered ashamedly. "If you've been a bad friend, I've been ten times worse."

"Don't say that," Sirius said, shaking his head.

"Everything you said was right," James said, hands quivering. "I _have_ been abandoning you all for Lily. I shouldn't have."

Sirius paused. He seemed to be struggling with something. "But you love her," he finally said.

James hesitated. "I don't know yet. We'll see."

"You love her," Sirius said. It was a firm statement.

"It doesn't matter," James said. "I've been stupid. And I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," Sirius said, looking down at his hands. "I was so caught up in anger I completely put my selfish needs first, not Remus."

"That was my fault," James said, shaking his head.

"Hell, it was both our faults," Sirius said quietly.

They both stayed silent for a minute.

"Let's just promise each other that from now on, no matter what argument we're in, we'll never jeopardize others," James said solemnly.

"Deal," Sirius nodded.

They looked at each other, and grinned uneasy, though genuine, grins. "Welcome back, Prongs," Sirius said, slapping James on the shoulder.

James laughed, and ran his hand through his hair. "It's good to be back."

* * *

Remus had been trying to avoid it ever since school started. He begged and begged both McGonagall and Lily and James. He managed to avoid it for months. But now, he could no longer avoid it anymore. The Hufflepuff prefect he was supposed to patrol with was sick. His only other option was Faye.

He laid out his options with Peter. He could pretend to be sick. Lily and James would let him off the hook, especially since Lily had been acting weird around him for the last couple of days. He could also ditch, but that would completely undermine his moral values. Or, he could drink polyjuice potion, which was a last resort.

In the end, Remus decided to just take a deep breath and go for it. Sooner or later, their paths would have to cross. He would rather get it over with sooner.

He sighed deeply and smoothed out his robes. Then, he descended down from his dormitory into the common room. The roaring fire brought a calming heat into the air. Remus sighed again. This was going to be an uncomfortable patrol.

"Remus," Marcella called from the couch as Remus was starting to leave the common room.

"Oh, hi," Remus said, turning around. "Anything wrong?"

Marcella sprung up from the couch and ran to Remus. Her face was full of worry. "Is everything okay with Sirius?" she asked in a low voice. "He's been ignoring me. I've never seen him this detached before."

"Oh," Remus breathed, smiling humorlessly. "He and James had…a bit of a fight. Don't worry, they'll straighten it out soon."

"How do you know?" Marcella asked anxiously.

"Because I gave them an ultimatum," Remus said grimly. "Don't worry, Marci. They'll be fine. And if they aren't…well, then they're both going to have more problems than they have now."

"So they're both going to be okay?" Marcella asked softly.

"Yeah," Remus said, nodding.

"Okay," Marcella said. "And everything's alright with you?"

Remus saw that she gave him a strange look when she said that. "Yeah, I'm fine," Remus said, frowning. "Look, I really have to go, I think I'm late for patrol."

"Alright," Marcella said. "I'll see you later, then."

"Yeah," Remus breathed. He walked quickly out of the common room and down to the library, where he was meeting Faye. _Isn't this ironic,_ Remus thought to himself as he sped down the stairs. _The library is where I first asked Faye out on a date._

Faye was waiting for him when Remus arrived, breathless. "Sorry I'm late," he said, gasping for breath.

"No, you're not," Faye said, shrugging. "Another minute and you would have been, but you're fine."

"Great," Remus breathed. He could feel his heart pounding, but it wasn't because of the cardiovascular exercise. _Stop it_, he told himself sternly. _It's been over for too long._

The two set off from the library with an uncomfortable silence between them. Faye glanced over at Remus every few minutes as they walked along. She knew that telling Lily and Marcella wasn't the brightest idea, but she felt like she was about to explode. She wanted somebody to share her pain. But she hated herself for telling Remus's secret. It wasn't her secret to tell.

"So how have things been going?" Faye asked casually, trying to mask the uncomfortable situation.

"They've been going well," Remus replied, shrugging. "You know, relatively."

"That's good," Faye said. The two lapsed into silence again. Remus shook his head lightly as he walked along, both amused and aghast at their current situation.

Faye felt torn. She had been thinking about her relationship with Remus for the past months. She couldn't push away that feeling of love. She missed him, and she knew it. And on top of that, her guilt was overriding almost every other feeling. She regretted the fact that she told Lily and Marcella anything, despite the fact that she knew the two would never tell the secret…just like she herself pledged that she never would.

And every time she saw him, that day in the Shack came flooding back to her, and she wanted to cry. She told herself that it wasn't fair, and that life wasn't supposed to be fair. She also told herself that she wasn't being fair to Remus. He couldn't help what he was. He didn't ask for it. And she had betrayed his trust and his love.

Faye hated herself at the moment. There wasn't a person in the world she hated more.

And every pansy she plucked from her small garden told her that she loved him. She plucked the petals by the thousands, and every time it spoke to her that instead of "I love him not", it was "I love him". And in the end, sitting alone by the circle of petals, all she felt was sad and guilt from having killed so many of them. Faye wasn't a shy person. She knew it. But she wasn't strong either. She couldn't handle such startling emotions and feelings. And now, she didn't know how to deal with them.

"Oy!" Remus said suddenly. Faye snapped back to reality. Up ahead they could make out three boys gleefully hexing a smaller boy.

Remus started walking quickly, and Faye followed suit. "Break it up," he said as they reached the group of four. His voice was loud and clear.

The three boys pretended to ignore him.

Remus's eyes flashed, and he pulled the three boys away from the smaller boy with immense strength. The three looked at him hatefully. "A week's worth of detention," Remus said firmly. "You three. For fighting in the halls and for being out after hours."

As the three bullies skulked away, Remus bent down kindly over the remaining boy, who was cowering on the floor. "Are you alright?" he asked gently.

The boy nodded with wide eyes.

"Alright then," Remus said, smiling. He held out a hand. The boy took it, and pulled himself up. Then, he quickly scuttled away.

Remus watched him go with a feeling of sadness. Seeing the three bullies beat up the little boy reminded him so much of what he and the marauders had done to Snape or others. Granted, Snape always fought back, but it was the same concept. Looking back, Remus was slightly angry with himself. He never had the nerve to send his friends into detention, and yet he had no problems sending the three bullies into detention. And he knew that even if he was given the choice now, he could never send Sirius and James into detention.

Faye watched Remus carefully. Remus had so much kindness in him. She saw how being what he was made him a stronger and better person. She knew he was a better person than her, anyway. He always loved helping people, and he always tried his best at everything. Faye felt ashamed to be standing next to someone whose heart grew with each passing minute.

And just like that, the patrol was over. Both Faye and Remus were surprised at how fast it was gone. "I guess we're patrolling together this entire week," Remus said, smiling.

"Yeah," Faye breathed.

"Okay, then," Remus said. They reached the bottom staircase that led to the Ravenclaw common room. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"Yeah," Faye said again, offering a smile.

Remus nodded. "Alright." They both lingered for a minute more before Remus turned slowly and left Faye outside of the common room, staring after him.

* * *

The next day, their patrol was hardly less awkward. Faye and Remus met up once again in front of the library. However, this time, Faye was determined to tell Remus the truth. Heck, she _needed_ to tell Remus the truth. She was bursting with emotion, and she knew it.

And all throughout patrol, she was preoccupied, waiting, wishing for the right time. But there was never a right time. The conversation never did help her out. Remus noticed her flustered manner. "Is anything wrong?" he asked, frowning. "You seem really preoccupied."

"Remus," she said, then stopped. What was she going to say? She shook her head.

"It's okay," Remus said quietly. "You don't have to say anything. But if you want to talk, I'm here for you."

"No, but that's just it," Faye said, voice shaking.

"What d'you mean?" Remus asked, eyes wide.

"Remus, I'm sorry," she said softly. "For everything. For being ignorant, for acting the way I did."

Remus's face hardened a bit, but then softened immediately. "It's okay," he said, offering a smile. "It was a hard time. I understand."

"No, it's not just that," Faye said slowly. "I thought I would never get over myself, Remus. But I did." She stopped. Her heart seemed caught in her throat.

Remus looked at her inquisitively.

"I mean, you can't help what you are, and I've been thinking about this, and Remus, I really miss you," she continued, and looked him straight in the eye. "I was wrong. I do love you."

Staring at her in shock, Remus's eyes widened. There was a long moment of silence between them.

Faye looked at Remus expectantly. "So?" she said with a shaky laugh. "Are we alright?"

Remus closed his eyes, and opened them again. He reached for her hand. Her hands were icy cold. He placed her hands in his. "Faye," he said quietly. "I can't."

She frowned. "What do you mean, you can't?"

"I can't…be in a relationship with you," Remus said painfully.

Faye withdrew her hand quickly, and gaped at him, mouth open. "Why not?"

"You're right," Remus said simply. "There are things I can't help, and I can't help what I am. Maybe you've accepted that in yourself, but I haven't."

"Remus, I'm already over that," Faye began.

"But I'm not," Remus interrupted, and something sad flitted over his eyes. "You don't need a broken man, Faye. You don't need to deal with my condition. _I'm_ dealing with it," he breathed. "I know the trouble it's caused. I don't want you to deal with it."

"But what if I want to?" Faye whispered.

"I'm not going to put you in danger," Remus said, quietly but firmly.

"What if I don't care?" Faye said, voice raised.

"Do you know what I would think of every time I look at you?" Remus said loudly. "I would see you, just like your brother, dead, because of a werewolf! Because of what I am! I can't stop thinking about that, Faye! I don't want you hurt because of me!"

She shook her head, and stared at him. "What does this mean," she said in a whisper.

Remus looked at her. His hands quivered. "I love you too much to make you go through this. Say that you love me enough to respect my decision."

Her eyes widened, and her mouth opened, as if in protest. But slowly, she nodded. "I do," she croaked.

Remus breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Thank you."

"Wait, Remus," Faye said quickly, hoping she could get this out before she completely lost her nerve.

"Yeah?" Remus asked, loosening up a bit. A big weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"I told Lily and Marcella about your condition," she blurted out in one breath.

Remus immediately tensed up again, and stared at her.

"I'm sorry," Faye said, wringing her hands. "I just…I was so stupid, and I felt like I was going to burst, and please don't be mad at me, but if you are, then I understand…"

There was a moment of tense silence.

Remus finally sighed, and smiled wearily. "It's okay. I think it's about time they knew anyway."

Faye looked at him in surprise.

"What exactly did you tell them?" Remus asked apprehensively.

"Not much," Faye said, still feeling ashamed. "Just the basics."

"Alright," Remus said. He patted her shoulder. "Come on, let's go up to the Gryffindor common room. Our patrol's over, anyway."

"Why?" Faye asked.

"I'm going to tell the entire story to Lily and Marcella," he said resolutely. "I think they deserve the truth from me."

"I'll come with you," Faye offered.

Remus smiled at her, and she felt like crying. "That would be great," he said.

* * *

The two entered the Gryffindor common room, and found James and Lily talking in the corner. However, to Remus's surprise, Sirius and Marcella were sitting with them. Remus smiled to himself, realizing that James and Sirius must have made up.

"Hey, Moony," James called out. "Care to join us?"

Remus smiled, and walked over to the four, Faye in tow. "Actually, I was wondering whether I could talk to all of you up in the dorm."

Sirius, who had his arm around Marcella, was ready to ask Remus if they could have a talk tomorrow, but then he saw the slight quiver in Remus's smile and the uncertain look in his eyes. "Yeah, sure," he said, looking at James.

"Yeah," James echoed.

The six trudged up to the boys' dormitory. Peter jumped as they entered. "Wow, what's going on?" he asked, abandoning his book.

"This is really important for me," Remus said carefully, and shut the door. Taking a shuddering breath, he faced the group, now looking at him attentively. "Lily, Marcella," he said slowly, trying to turn away from them but finding that he simply could not.

"Remus, what is it?" Marcella said worriedly, as she, Lily, James and Sirius sat down. "Is anything wrong?"

"Not really," Remus said, forcing a smile. "I just thought that you two really deserved to know the truth. It's time for me to give you what you need to know."

Faye looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to blame it all on her, even hoping for him to blame her. But he didn't. His eyes were sad, but determined. And Faye hoped, with all her heart, that Lily and Marcella would understand.

"I know you both know that I am a werewolf," Remus said in one breath.

"Oh God, it's true?" Lily exclaimed.

Remus nodded. "I'm sorry I never got the chance to tell you myself. You two have always been there for me, and I feel that this is the…the time." He took in a deep breath. Slowly and painfully, he relayed all there was to his story: how he became a werewolf, and what he dealt with these past years. He watched through blurry eyes Lily and Marcella staring at him, James, Sirius and Peter looked at him sympathetically, and Faye looking at him, eyes full of tears.

"Questions?" he asked shakily once he had stopped talking.

Every particle of his body was afraid, afraid that Lily and Marcella would see him as a monster, just like Faye did… The two girls got up simultaneously. For a panicky moment, Remus thought they were going to simply leave. Instead, they reached Remus, and gave him a warm and supporting hug, with Lily sobbing and Marcella smiling weakly.

Without any words, Remus knew it was going to be okay.

"I can't believe what you had to go through," Marcella whispered.

Remus laughed shakily. "I'm sorry I never got the chance to tell you earlier."

"Don't be," Marcella smiled. "It's your secret. I respect that. We promise never to let anybody else know without your consent."

"Remus, you know we're always going to be here for you, right?" Lily asked quietly.

Remus looked at them, and smiled. "Thank you."

Marcella and Lily engulfed him in another hug. Remus turned and saw Faye, who stood by the door, tears streaming down her face.

"I have to go," Faye whispered to the group, trembling hands reaching for the door.

"Wait, before you go," James said, standing up. He looked pointedly at Peter, Sirius and Remus. Sirius nodded first. Then Peter. Remus nodded slowly.

"There's one more part to this that we also think you all deserve to know," Sirius said. "Prongs, care to demonstrate?"

Faye turned fully around to face James, as did everyone else. James stepped out into a clear space. Suddenly, he was gone, to be replaced by a very large stag.

Lily screamed. Marcella and Faye stood, shocked into silence. Then, suddenly, James turned back into himself.

"We're animagi," James said simply. "Remus can't harm other animals. We decided to do it after we figured out what he was going through in second year. We did it in fifth year, and we've been accompanying him on his journeys ever since."

"Animagi?" Lily said, dazed. "That's…illegal."

"We never cared, and we still don't care," Sirius shrugged. "Anything for Moony."

"Oh, so those nicknames came from this too," Marcella said, smiling. "It all makes sense."

"And all those lame excuses you gave me on full moon nights?" Lily asked James.

James nodded apprehensively.

Unexpectedly, Lily laughed. "Well, at least now I know, right?"

"Yeah, no more lame excuses," James said, laughing as well. "And now, there's really no more secrets."

"And that night," Faye spoke up quietly. "That's why you guys were there."

"Right," Peter nodded.

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with us," Marcella said, beaming. "Isn't it?"

Both Lily and Faye nodded.

"Sirius, show me your Animagus form," Marcella said, turning to him.

"Eh," Sirius said, offering her a challenging smile.

"Do it," Marcella said, pointing out a finger playfully.

"Or what?" Sirius said, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Sirius, just do it."

"Alright," Sirius said, though never taking his smiling eyes off Marcella. "And it's Padfoot, if you don't mind." And in a second, Sirius was gone, to be replaced by a large black dog.

Marcella shrieked delightedly. "I love dogs!" she exclaimed, and reached down to pat Sirius-dog on the nose. Sirius leaped up into the air, knocked her over, and began to nuzzle her like crazy. Marcella laughed. And when Sirius transformed back, he lay down right beside her.

"Come on, Peter, show them yours," Remus said encouragingly.

"It's okay," Peter mumbled.

"Oh come on," Faye and Lily said, smiling at him.

"It's really not as impressive," he said, casting Sirius a glance.

"Please?" Marcella called from the floor.

Peter gave in. In a second, he was replaced by a fat rat, running around on the ground. Faye shrieked, and Remus remembered that she hated rodents. But even she was brave enough to reach down and pat the rat on the head, along with Lily.

Faye stood by Remus as the girls fawned over the guys. She still felt like crying every few seconds, but she wanted to be strong. She had to be strong. Remus looked over at her, and let out a warm smile that was as much an apology as anything else. Faye smiled back.

Lily laughed delightedly as James changed back into the stag. A couple of years ago, she would have probably turned him in if she ever found out anything like this was going on. But that was then, and this is now. She reached out her hand to gently stroke James's stag head. With sadness, she remembered herself thinking specifically in her fourth year why on earth Remus would put up with people like James and Sirius. And now, she realized that there was more to these men that she ever could have dreamed of back then. And she realized, with tearing eyes, that they were not simply friends: they would do anything for each other. They would die for each other. They were brothers.

* * *

Everyone except Peter had gone back down to the common room to talk the night away. Peter sat alone in the dormitory. He had tried reading, but he couldn't concentrate.

He felt alone. Absolutely alone. His family was gone. Lauren could not contact him. And the only true family he thought he had, his friends…they were drifting apart. They all had patrol or dates. They hardly ever talked to him anymore. The only time that he ever felt truly like a part of the group is during full moon nights, and even then it's marred, because Sirius and James do the bulk of the work. He's just the rat that pushes the tree knot.

Peter hated feeling alone.

And slowly, his hands dipped farther and farther into his trunk, trembling, shaking, but unusually steady all the same. His fingertips found the box. And his hand reached over it, and he could feel it in the palm of his hand.

And then his closed his fist tightly around it.


	57. Uncle Alphard's Will

A/N: Yes, it's been slightly less than a month since I've last updated. I know, and I'm truly sorry, but I'm telling you right now that I'm not giving up on this story. Not by a long shot. I love writing it so much! I hope you'll all forgive me for my slow updates, but after finals are over, I'll be able to write more.

As for this chapter, I went a little Sirius-crazy. I think Lily and James got their time in the beginning of Seventh Year, and now it's Sirius's turn. Yey!

And of course, I have to thank all the fabulous people who have put up with me for so long! Thanks to Nemrut, living-is-easy-with-eyes-closed, Brona, LeonaKat, DianaMC, ChapstickBlack, RitaSkeeterGossip, elise bentwin, Contorce, Skippy Agogo, elven cats eyes, Kendra-the hyper one, MarisAlexia, theo darkstar, julie (thanks for your input!), liz, summerlovin9191, Kates Master, , -MaRaUdErLoVeR423-, and Superpa! Thank you all so much for the comments and constructive criticism!

And by the way-over 600 reviews? Oh my! Thank you all again!

* * *

_Februrary-March, 1978_

* * *

Uncle Alphard's Will

Padfoot surged down the stairs with all his might. He knew that tonight, the wolf would be easier to subdue. A lot of weight had been lifted off all their shoulders the past month. His body connected with Moony so hard that they both toppled over. Moony growled, and took a couple of swipes at Padfoot.

Prongs flew in at the moment, his antlers keeping the claws of Moony at bay. Padfoot rolled out of the fray. He thought back to the first time that they tried to subdue Moony…it was near impossible, and he and Prongs were exhausted within an hour. Now, he felt like he could hold Moony off for days.

Remus fought. He fought with the demon, he fought with himself. _Tonight_, he determined as he entered the shack, _I will not allow the wolf to win. I will keep it down._

Padfoot leaned in for one last tackle. Prongs scurried out of the way as Padfoot leaped and knocked Moony over again. Moony sat on the ground, as if dazed, almost landing on top of Wormtail, who was squeaking and running in circles. Then suddenly, Moony shook his head, and his eyes cleared. Prongs and Padfoot grinned at each other. Remus was back.

Tonight, they had decided earlier that day, they would explore the Hogwarts Grounds again, this time preferably staying out of either Hagrid's or the school's way. They would go down to the lake, and perhaps explore more of the unknown of the school grounds, though Sirius scoffed that there was no part to the school they were not familiar with. They would also take the map with them in case they needed it. Remus had said that he needed a clear night out.

Padfoot held the map delicately in between his teeth as he pranced toward the tunnel. Wormtail, squeaking, trotted beside Moony, who was followed by Prongs. Together, the four animals made their way into the tunnel and out at the end of the Willow.

Moony breathed in the night air, but did not dare to look into the moon. He had always been scared of it, and feared that it would bring back his enemy. But tonight, with his three best friends by his side, and with no more secrets, he fell free. He felt alive. He felt invincible, like nothing could stop him. But Remus, always being the careful person he was, did not dare look into the moon.

The four animals pranced away from the Willow. The Hogwarts Ground doors were closed, but several windows were thrown open. Spring was rapidly approaching, and the sweet scent of flowers were beginning to rise from the school grounds.

Prongs led the way down to the lake. He dipped his leg into the thawing water, and yelped at its coldness. Padfoot decided that he didn't want to test it. Instead, he picked up Wormtail with a paw, and threw him into the lake. Wormtail protested and squeaked, and flailed in midair, but to no avail. Padfoot had not thrown him in very deep, but it was Moony who waded in and helped the shivering rat get out. He then cast a reprimanding look at Padfoot and Prongs, who were snickering. Remus sighed. At least the two were best friends again.

The animals wrestled and rolled around for fun in the lake. Once or twice they thought they saw something move in the lake, and Wormtail squeaked in terror, thinking it to be the giant squid. Both James and Sirius scoffed, and growled to let the others know they thought they could take on the squid, any day. Moony rolled his eyes.

When the hint of a sun was beginning to rise, Moony ushered them back to the Willow. The wind had picked up at this time, and sweet scents of flowers reached Padfoot's nose. He took in a deep breath, and in the moment forgot completely about the map gently held between his teeth. In one swift breeze, the wind carried the map away from the four. Padfoot yelped and lunged at it helplessly. Prongs made to stop it with his antlers, but the wind tricked him. The four animals watched helplessly as the map flew into a castle window on the third floor.

With Padfoot leading the way, the four animals lunged as fast as they could back into the tunnel. Sirius was extremely frustrated with himself for losing the map. They waited until Remus transformed back before transforming into their normal forms. "Shit," was the first thing out of Sirius's mouth.

"It's alright," James said firmly. "Trust me. We've had our time with that map. Plus, we know the castle forwards and backwards at this point."

"Exactly," Peter said, though he was a little disappointed that he couldn't randomly peek at the map anymore.

"I feel like such an idiot," Sirius said angrily. "We can still find it! It landed on the third floor!"

He made to dash toward the tunnel, but Remus pulled him back. "Not now," he said firmly. "You cannot risk running into Madam Pomfrey! Wait until I'm gone."

"But-" Sirius started.

"Don't you think our secret is more important than a map?" Remus demanded.

There was a small silence. "Yes," Sirius said finally. "You're right."

"Good," Remus said, relieved. "Now all of you go upstairs while I pretend I've been beating myself up the entire night." The three obeyed him, and immediately rushed to the second floor. "And be careful!" Remus called behind them.

As soon as Madam Pomfrey and Remus were both out of the tunnel, Sirius made a mad dash for the castle. James and Peter were not far behind him. Panting, the three reached the third floor.

"There it is!" Sirius said, spying a piece of parchment down the hall. Before they could move toward it, however, Filch had come out of nowhere and swept the parchment up in his hand. He examined it closely, his eyes narrowed.

James led the way, and the three approached Filch. "Um, hello," James said, clearing his throat.

Filch whipped around suspiciously. "What do you want?"

"Uh, I was wondering if I could have that piece of parchment back," James said, as charmingly as possible. "You see, I ran out and I need it to write a composition on."

Filch glared at him. "No, I don't think so," he wheezed maliciously. He clutched the parchment even closer to his chest.

Sirius's temper flared. "Listen, you give that back right now," he growled.

"I will write you up, I will," Filch said, sneering unpleasantly.

Sirius was about to retort, but James shook his head lightly and stamped on his foot. After the Snape incident with the Willow, he didn't want Sirius to get kicked out of Hogwarts in his Seventh Year.

The three could only watch as Filch shuffled away triumphantly, Mrs. Norris following him.

"Let me curse him, just this once," Sirius growled, reaching for his wand.

"No," James said firmly. "It's not worth it."

"The map," Sirius said in protest.

James shook his head just as McGonagall came out of nowhere. "See what would have happened?" James said after she passed them by. "It's not worth it, alright?"

"But-"

"No," James said, eyes set.

Sirius glared at him, but relented. He realized James was probably right, but he was still mad at himself for letting go of the map.

On their way back up to the Gryffindor dormitory room, they saw Remus hurrying toward them. "Did you guys get it?" he asked anxiously.

"Wow, you're out of the hospital early," Peter commented.

"Well, of course he is," Sirius snapped, still angry at himself. "No, Filch got it, the dirty-"

"He got to it before we did," James said, cutting Sirius off in the middle of a rude word.

"I wanted to curse the hell out of him," Sirius said darkly.

"It's not worth it," Remus said, echoing what James had said. Sirius looked even sulkier than before.

"We'll be okay without it," James said reassuringly. "We know the patterns by now."

The four friends walked the rest of the way to the common room. They were greeted by Lily and Marcella, who immediately stole James and Sirius away from Remus and Peter. Remus just smiled, and headed up to the dormitory, Peter behind him.

"Lily," Sirius said stiffly in greeting.

Lily was surprised at the reluctant tone of his voice. "Sirius," she said, eyebrow raised.

The two simply looked at each other for a bit until Marcella dragged Sirius away. "What's wrong with you?" she said in a low voice as soon as Lily and James were out of hearing distance.

"What's wrong with me?" Sirius said, laughing derisively.

"Alright, what happened last night?" Marcella asked.

"How d'you know?" Sirius said, a bit taken aback.

"You think I don't know you well enough by now?" Marcella asked, a bit hurt.

"No, I mean, yes, of course," Sirius said, backtracking.

"Yeah," Marcella said, still eyeing him. "So what happened?"

"What do you care," Sirius said, slipping back into a sulking mood.

Marcella glared at him, her jaws set. "I don't know if you've noticed, Sirius Black, but I do happen to care about you. I don't even know if _you_ bloody care."

"Of course I care!" Sirius snapped.

"Well, great!" Marcella shouted.

"Yeah, fantastic, isn't it?" Sirius yelled. By this time, the entire common room had turned to look at the two of them, in shock.

"Well then, do you feel like digressing?" she yelled back. "How am I supposed to know what you're thinking? I'm not exactly skilled at reading minds!"

"What if I don't feel like digressing?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know what to say, then?"

"I don't know!" Sirius shouted furiously. He couldn't help but notice how pretty Marcella looked, even with her face bright red, and dark hair flying all over the place.

"What are you feeling, Sirius?" Marcella screamed. "Right now! What do you feel?"

"I'm bloody angry!" Sirius roared. "I'm mad at my self, damn it, because I made a stupid mistake!"

"Fine! That's all I needed to know!"

"Well isn't that fantastic!" Sirius shouted. "And…"

"And what?" Marcella demanded.

Without warning, Sirius stepped right up to her, put his hand on her face, and kissed her. The entire common room fell silent at that one moment, and Sirius heard nothing, saw nothing, and felt nothing other than her lips against his. After what seemed like forever, they broke the kiss. Marcella looked up at him, the fire still in her eyes, but a different kind of fire. "Is that what you feel?" she asked, looking straight at him.

"Are you satisfied now?" Sirius asked back, a devious smiled lighting up his face.

"Not even close," Marcella responded, the corners of her lips twitching up.

James and Lily watched as Sirius and Marcella snogged their way out of the common room and into the halls. There was laughter and activity was restored in the common room. "Wow," James said, eyebrows raised.

"I know," Lily laughed. "Only those two could be mad at each other one second and be snogging the next."

"Well, at least they're happy," James shrugged.

"Yeah," Lily said, smiling.

* * *

"This is terrible," Remus said at breakfast the next day, eyes scanning the Daily Prophet. "There's been more killings and arrests."

"How many?" Peter asked with a strange tone in his voice.

"Three," Remus said shortly.

"Anyone we know?" James asked.

"No, I don't think so," Remus said slowly. "No, no one," he finally said, relieved. He closed the paper firmly.

"This is just too depressing," Lily sighed.

"Yeah," Sirius said, stuffing some pancakes into his mouth. "At least it's no one we know."

"True," Marcella said. "Although that sounds absolutely horrible."

"It does," Sirius teased.

"Ha ha," Marcella said sarcastically, though with a smile in her eyes. She pushed Sirius playfully. Sirius pretended to scowl.

"Those two," Remus muttered to himself, shaking his head.

Suddenly, an owl swooped down in front of Sirius, and a letter fell into his lap. Sirius was so surprised he almost knocked over his pumpkin juice. "Who's sending me a letter?" he said out loud as he picked it up. He examined it suspiciously.

"Dunno," James said, leaning over to look.

"Who's it from?" Remus asked.

Sirius's eyes narrowed as he saw the names of the senders. "It's from my parents."

"What?" James said, frowning.

Sirius tore open the envelope and extracted a very small piece of parchment from inside it. As he cast his eyes over it, his expression instantly darkened.

"What is it?" Marcella asked.

"It's my uncle Alphard," Sirius said, angrily crumpling the piece of parchment in his hands. He slammed his hand on the table. "He's dead." There was a struggling expression in his eyes, caught between sorrow and hardened anger.

There was a prolonged moment of silence.

"I'm sorry," Marcella said quietly at last.

Sirius grunted.

"How did he die?" Remus asked fearfully.

"Natural causes," Sirius responded monotonously. "He was old. And he loved to smoke. I think it finally got to his heart."

"Oh," Remus said, a bit relieved.

"Then what do your parents want?" James asked, frowning.

"Nothing," Sirius said, laughing bitterly. "They did leave me the date of the funeral. Probably just to mock me. They know I'm not going to go."

"Why not?" Marcella asked.

Sirius stayed silent. Marcella was the one that liked to talk things out. He knew it helped him. Releasing his emotions by talking was the most sensible and least dangerous way for Sirius to deal. But he couldn't help thinking that Marcella would never understand what he was going through. They were so different. He didn't want to bog her down with his problems.

The clock turned and it was time to go to class. Marcella and Sirius didn't talk the rest of the morning. Marcella sensed Sirius needed some space, and Sirius sensed that Marcella knew that he needed some space.

However, she wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily. "Why aren't you going to the funeral?" Marcella asked Sirius at lunchtime. Her words were blunt and to the point. Sirius looked at her in surprise.

"I just don't feel like going," Sirius said moodily as they sat down.

Marcella clenched her jaw and looked straight at him. "Sirius Black. We've been through this before. I'm trying to help you because I care about you! Now will you just tell me what's wrong? Do you care about me enough to trust me with your problems?"

Sirius's moodiness took over his logical train of thought. "No," he snapped. Instantly, he wanted to backtrack, as his senses came to him.

Marcella's eyes widened, then narrowed. "Fine," she snapped. "We're done." Instantly, she picked up her books and her book bag, slung it over her shoulder and stormed out of the Great Hall.

"Shit," Sirius said loudly, forgetting everyone around him. Forgetting all his school stuff altogether, he ran out after her.

"Marci, will you wait?" he yelled, trying to catch up to her as he flew out of the Great Hall.

She wheeled around in the middle of the hallway, eyes flashing in anger. "How dare you say you don't care about me!"

"I do!" Sirius said pleadingly. "I just lost my train of thought, alright?"

"No! It's not alright! Do you not trust me, Sirius?"

"Of course I trust you!" Sirius said.

"Then why do you not trust me with your thoughts? Am I going to spoil them for you?"

"No!" Sirius protested.

"Then what?" Marcella shouted, now close to tears. In anger, she took one of her schoolbooks and slammed it on the ground. "Answer me!"

"I'm afraid you wouldn't understand me," Sirius said quietly.

Marcella was thrown completely off-guard. She had expected Sirius to scream. She hadn't expected this. Slowly, she walked over to Sirius.

He looked at her as she came. They were making steps, he knew. But he was still scared. He had told more to her than any other girl, and he was so unsure of himself for the first time. "My uncle Alphard was a great man," Sirius started as she stood in front of him. "My favorite uncle. The only person I could stand other than Andromeda. He was probably the closest person I ever came to loving in that family. But I can't go to that funeral, Marcella."

"Sirius, I'm not going to pretend that I understand you," Marcella said softly, looking into his eyes. They were troubled, she could tell. "Because as much as I can try, I won't understand you. But I can try to help you. Release your emotions. Sirius, I care so much about you. I just want you to trust me, and know that I'll always be there for you."

"I know that," Sirius said, smiling at her. "I don't want you to be bogged down with my stupid problems."

"They're not stupid," Marcella countered. "And your problems are not stupid. I mean, I'm your girlfriend, right? It's my job."

Something about the word girlfriend bothered Sirius greatly, but he didn't want to say anything about it.

"What are you scared of?" Marcella asked gently.

"I'm not scared," Sirius sighed. "I don't want to see my family again. I ran away from them, Marcella. I ran away from their idiotic principles. I respect my uncle Al. But I just…I don't think I could handle it."

It was the first time Marcella had seen Sirius break down. He was always so tough on the exterior. Something about it broke her heart. She put her hand in his, and smiled up at him.

"I think you should go," Marcella said gently.

"Why?" Sirius said brokenly.

"Your uncle would have wanted you to be there," she said softly. "He cared about you. Just forget the rest of your family. Do it for him."

Sirius was silent.

"You once told me that Remus inspired you," Marcella said. "Remember? Because he faces his worst fear every single month." She paused. "This may not be your worst fear, Sirius, but you can be brave. You can be brave for those that have given you a reason to live. Be brave for yourself. Be brave for your uncle. I know he would be proud."

* * *

"Professor, may I please leave school for the weekend?" Sirius asked before Transfiguration class started.

Professor McGonagall looked up at him suspiciously from her desk. "Why, Mr. Black?"

"My uncle just died, and I'm attending his funeral," Sirius responded.

Instantly, her expression softened. "Did he die from-"

"Natural causes," Sirius finished. "Yes. He was old."

"Oh, well then," McGonagall said hastily, peering at him. "Yes, I will give you permission to get in and out of Hogwarts this weekend. Take a seat, please."

"Thank you," Sirius said.

She called him back into her office after Transfiguration class. "I've arranged everything for you, Mr. Black," she said. She handed him a silver pass and two tickets. "These tickets are for the train ride there and back. Make sure you show the pass to the guards at the train station and near the school. They will not let you get in here without it. The security has been tightened too much."

Sirius nodded, trying to absorb all the information.

"If I may ask, which uncle was it?" McGonagall asked, somewhat kindly.

"My uncle Alphard," Sirius replied, with an unexpected pang in his throat.

McGonagall nodded, with a trace of sadness in her eyes. "I thought so, Mr. Black. He's the only one, perhaps other than your cousin Andromeda, that I could see a bit of in you."

Sirius nodded again, this time somewhat proud.

As he sat on the train taking him to the place of the funeral, he thought about Marcella. She had helped him more than she knew. She had controlled his spouts of anger a bit, and helped him realize that talking could help. But he was also scared of their relationship. It was moving along steadily, and becoming serious. Sirius didn't want a commitment…

When he exited the train station, he found the address of the funeral to be fairly close to the train station. He walked slowly, savoring the fresh air of the streets, which he never got to see. He saw shops and was tempted to buy something for the Marauders and Marcella, but stopped himself, knowing that he only had a small amount of gold left in the bank. He could always take his parents' gold, sure, but they might kill him if they found out, though he did have legal access to it.

He wandered into the funeral sight. Everything seemed to pass by him in a whirl. His parents ogled at him as if he was a ghost. Sirius ignored them. None of his cousins were there except Andromeda. She was being shunned by the rest of the family. Sirius walked over to her.

"Hi!" she exclaimed as she saw him.

"Andromeda!" Sirius said, smiling. "It's so good to see you!"

"Same," she said, beaming.

"And who do we have here?" Sirius said, looking at the small girl beside Andromeda.

"My name is Nymphadora," she said proudly.

"It's nice to meet you," Sirius laughed.

"Ooh, look what I can do!" she squealed. She squenched up her nose and concentrated hard. Instantly, her black hair turned to pink, then to brown.

Sirius looked at Andromeda in surprise.

"She's a metamorphagus," Andromeda said proudly. "Still learning how to control it at this stage, but it's such a rare gift."

"Oh wow," Sirius said, awed. "That's fantastic."

"I know. It's always so ironic to me, seeing as she's a half-blood," Andromeda laughed. A bit of bitterness was in her eyes, but she tried to brush it off.

"Speaking of that, how's Ted Tonks?" Sirius asked, picking up Nymphadora in his arms. The little girl giggled.

"He's great," Andromeda said, smiling. "He wanted to come, but I wouldn't let him. I was just scared that the family would curse the hell out of him." She said it jokingly, but Sirius noticed the sadness in her tone.

"I'm happy for you," Sirius said quietly. "I really am."

She smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Sirius."

The funeral went without any hitches. Aunt Elladora, now old and wheezing, could barely mutter any words to speak. Mr. Black droned on about Alphard in an emotionless tone. None of the family even wanted to acknowledge the presence of Sirius and Andromeda, but that was fine with Sirius. He was content simply with Nymphadora in his arms. She said nothing, but often changed her hair color.

And he was allowed to go up and see the man in the casket, dead and gray. He waited his turn, but as he was finally allowed his turn, Sirius swallowed back the urge to kick something. His uncle had inspired him. There were so many things that he wished he could have said to him.

"Thank you, uncle Alphard," Sirius murmured softly, looking down at his motionless face. "For inspiring me, and teaching me that being myself is alright." He drew in a deep, shuddering breath. "Thanks for teaching me about bravery, and choices. I've chosen, Uncle Al. I'm not going to die a Black. I'm going to die as Sirius, just as you died as Uncle Al. Thanks for everything."

When he was done, he stepped away slowly, and felt a large pang in his heart. He watched as the casket was lowered, bit by bit, into the soft earth.

Afterwards, the crowd filed into a large hall for the reading of the will. Sirius and Andromeda took a seat in the back. He tuned out most of the will. He vaguely heard the barrister read off the sums to his cousins. He snorted to himself when he heard that Bellatrix only got a lousy flat. She would not be very happy when she heard about that-she had wanted all of Alphard's money. And then:

"To my nephew, Sirius Black, I leave five thousand and sixty-four galleons."

The hall fell silent. Sirius could hear the wind blow outside.

"What?" roared Mr. Black at last, fuming in rage.

"Filthy ingrate!" Aunt Elladora shrieked. "I will not allow him to get that inheritance!"

"I am bound by the law!" the barrister said loudly.

"Let me see that will!" Mr. Black snarled, striding up to the podium. The barrister protested, but let him see the paper. Mr. Black let out a yell of fury, and made to rip the parchment, but the barrister shoved him roughly away. The security guards then came up and dragged Mr. Black back to his seat.

Aunt Elladora was still shrieking. Mrs. Black was hysterically sobbing. And Sirius was in the back, smiling to himself. "I will not allow him to get this inheritance!" Mr. Black yelled from his seat, where the guards were pinning him down.

"I am bound by the law!" the barrister said again, this time in a louder voice.

"There must be a mistake!" Aunt Elladora screamed. "My husband would not give his money to this…filthy, ungrateful little traitor!" She pointed hysterically at Sirius, who was calmly absorbing the scene.

"We do not question the will of the deceased," the barrister said calmly. "Sirius Black will get the money in question."

The reading of the will ended. One by one, the members of the family filed out of the hall. Mrs. Black gave her son a hateful glare. Mr. Black twitched his fingers toward his wand a couple of times, but restrained himself. Aunt Elladora was hurling insults at Sirius as she passed, but Sirius didn't care. He didn't feel connected to them. He felt closer with his dead uncle than his live family.

"It's great to see you again," Sirius said to Andromeda and Nymphadora as they got up to leave.

"Siri!" Nymphadora squealed. Sirius laughed and picked her up one last time.

"It was great to see you too, Sirius," Andromeda smiled. "I always believed in you. Take that money, and don't be afraid to use it, alright?"

Sirius nodded. The two hugged, and Sirius gently put Nymphadora back on the ground. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Of course," Andromeda said.

"Bye Siri!" called Nymphadora as mother and daughter headed out of the hall.

"Bye," Sirius said, laughing. He watched them leave with a sense of happiness. Andromeda had exactly what she wanted-a loving family. Sirius was going to follow in her path. He could feel his strength and energy go up whenever he thought about becoming an Auror. It was his life dream, and he wasn't letting go of it until he got it.

He walked back outside to the place where his uncle was buried. He felt free, and he felt so alive. Kneeling, he placed his hand on the dirt that covered his uncle. "I don't know why you gave me this much money," he said softly. "But I promise you that I'm going to use it well. I'm using it to chase what I've always wanted. I want to be an Auror, Uncle Al. I think you'd approve."

He leaned back, and sighed. "I'm going to fight, Uncle Al. I've always been fighting. I'm not tired yet." He patted the earth, and stood up. The wind blew softly, and Sirius stretched out his arms to meet the air, wanting to breathe in his uncle's spirit that he had left behind.

* * *

A couple of hours later, the sky was dark, and Sirius stepped out of the train. He flashed his pass at the security guards at the station. A carriage then arrived to take him up to the castle. All the way, he thought about his life. He knew what he wanted, but his Uncle's death had shown him that he only had one life to live.

As he entered the common room, he was greeted by Remus, James and Peter. "Hey guys," Sirius laughed as they crowded around him eagerly.

"So? How'd it go?" Remus asked.

"It went well," Sirius shrugged. "The family ignored me, just like I hoped they would. I saw Andromeda and her daughter."

"Really?" James asked. "How are they?"

"They're fantastic," Sirius said, grinning. "Ted and Andromeda are still married. And get this-their daughter is a metamohpagus!"

"No way!" Peter gasped.

"Yes, isn't that ironic?" Sirius laughed.

"So how was the will-reading?" James asked, eyebrow raised.

"The family hates me," Sirius shrugged. "They tried to prevent me from getting my inheritance. Five thousand and sixty something galleons."

"Five thousand?" Remus said disbelievingly. "Sirius, that's a lot of money."

"I know," Sirius said, grinning happily like a little child.

"What're you going to do with it?" James asked, grinning.

"I dunno," Sirius said. "I'm probably going to spend some of it on something really stupid, but I'm putting some away for Auror training needs."

"I'm proud of you," Remus said, beaming.

"Thanks Moony," Sirius laughed.

"Sirius!" Marcella squealed suddenly, coming down the stairs.

"Marci!" Sirius said, grinning.

"Oh god," Remus said, rolling his eyes. "We're out of here." James and Peter didn't need telling. As soon as they ducked out of the way, Marcella and Sirius wrapped their arms around each other and started snogging furiously. They barely noticed when a laughing James and Remus directed them out of the common room just so the rest of the people could study.

"So how'd it go?" asked a breathless Marcella out in the hallway.

"Great," Sirius said, grinning. "I saw my favorite cousin again, and I also inherited five thousand galleons."

Marcella gasped. "Oh my God!" she laughed. "What're you going to do with it?"

"Well first of all," Sirius said, taking her hand, and leading her down the hallway. "I'm going to take you out to the best restaurant that money can buy."

"Oh really," Marcella said, grinning. "Go on."

"And then, we're going to spend a night under the stars," Sirius grinned. "With first-rate sleeping bags and a fantastic tent, I might add."

Marcella laughed. "Alright, then what?"

"Then we make out like crazy," Sirius said devilishly.

Marcella rolled her eyes. "Well Sirius, I must say, I think I like that part better than the dinner and the fancy tent."

"Do you really?" Sirius said, grinning roguishly.

"Of course I do," Marcella smiled.

They had arrived at the corridor which contained the Room of Requirement. Sirius looked at her, and she smiled back. He walked back and forth in front of the door three times. A door sprang up, and they looked at each other. Sirius took hold of her hand. And the two, side by side, opened the door and walked in.


	58. Love is a Battlefield

A/N: Everyone, I am so sorry for the delay. My mother decided, for some random reason, to delete Word on my laptop...and I couldn't write for like a solid month. Thankfully, I have it back now, and am writing like crazy to catch up.

I'm so excited for DH to come out! I will keep writing this fic after it comes out, but I'm sure it'll destroy some of the theories in my fanfiction. No matter, I'll still love doing it.

This chapter...is...mature. I enjoyed writing it, but be warned. It was a long time coming, and I'm not saying any more.

Thanks again to the faithful readers, who have stuck with me for so long. I owe you all so much! Thanks to: summerlovin9191, Snuffles is My Idol o.O, Young Prewett, LeonaKat, Goddess of Grammar, Hahukum Konn, elise bentwin, living-is-easy-with-eyes-closed, Kendra-the hyper one, SarcasticLemon, elven cats eyes, DianaMC, FrodoFever, MarisAlexia, Brona, LaniHEARTS, nineTsuki-chan, julie, chocolvr, , RitaSkeeterGossip, Black'sBeauty, and prongette! You all are wonderful!

* * *

_March, 1978_

* * *

Love is a Battlefield

"Do you really feel like going to Hogsmeade?" Sirius asked in a whisper.

Marcella looked straight at him. Her dark eyes glittered. "Not particularly," she answered with a laugh.

The two were sitting together at lunchtime, completely oblivious to the rest of their friends, who were trying to ignore the fact that Sirius and Marcella both had no problems with public displays of affection. Lily was trying to supress looks of disapproval and laughter at the same time. Remus simply rolled his eyes. After all, he saw this everyday. Peter was absently stabbing his pancakes.

James couldn't help but intersect. "Are you two seriously not going to Hogsmeade this weekend?" he asked with one eyebrow raised. "It would be the first time."

"Oh, I think we can find better things to do at the castle," Sirius said, grinning.

Marcella turned red, and kicked him.

"Ow!" Sirius scowled.

James shook his head, eyebrows raised, and didn't turn away soon enough before Sirius and Marcella started snogging.

Remus looked at them, and simply laughed. James noticed a bit of sadness in his tone. "Moony, what's wrong?" he asked quietly.

Remus shrugged. "You know me too well, Prongs," he sighed.

"I know," James said, smiling. "So what's on your mind?"

"It's just me being stupid," Remus said, letting out a shaky laugh. "A part of me just regrets the whole situation with Faye, that's all."

"Really," James said, frowning a bit. "How so?"

"God, Prongs," Remus sighed. "I've loved her for two years. It's hard to let that go."

"So why didn't you take her back?" James asked, frowning.

"Because even if I did, there would always be that veil separating us," Remus said disparagingly. "We could never be as close as we once were. It's impossible."

"Maybe not," James said, shrugging. "Maybe it'll make you two even stronger."

"Doubt it," Remus said bitterly.

James looked at his friend sadly. "I'm sorry, Moony," he said, and instantly regretted it.

"I don't need your pity, James," Remus said quietly, just as he had done once before.

James's memory flashed back to that day after Defense Against the Dark Arts with Storm. "You've got my friendship," James said, smiling.

"And mine," Peter chimed.

"And that idiot's," James said, nodding over at Sirius, who was tangled up in Marcella.

Remus let out a laugh. "He can tell me himself as soon as he can breathe his own air."

* * *

Hogsmeade weekend came in a flash. James and Lily were excited to go, as they always were. Remus was going to spend his time in the bookstore, to which Sirius scoffed, "no snogging?" Peter was going alone. He said he had to meet somebody.

James and Lily were talking in the Common Room when Remus and Sirius headed downstairs, followed by Peter. "Ready to go?" Remus asked.

"No," Sirius replied just as everyone else replied "yes".

"I wasn't asking you," Remus said, rolling his eyes. "It's not like you're going anyway."

"Yeah," James said, laughing. "Come on, guys, let's go."

"You're going to leave me here alone?" Sirius said incredulously. "What's taking Marcella so long?"

"Excuse me, bonehead," Lily said coolly. "She's getting ready for you. So can it."

Sirius was about to retort angrily when James shot him a glare. Clenching his jaw, Sirius fought back the urge to say something. He and Lily weren't exactly bosom buddies, and it made James nervous.

"Alright, no name-calling," Remus said jokingly, hoping to lighten the mood. Lily simply glared at Sirius and turned away. Sirius responded by sticking his tongue out at her turned back.

There was a moment of tense silence.

"What's the matter?" came the voice of Marcella descending from the staircase.

Sirius whipped around, and almost got the wind knocked out of him. He knew Marcella looked good in her school robes, but in a fitted skirt and a bright shirt she looked almost ethereal. Remus saw the expression on Sirius's face, and fought back the urge to laugh.

"Nothing," Sirius said, still staring at her.

Marcella rolled her eyes as she stood next to him. "Stop gawking at me," she laughed. "I would have thought that you've never seen a member of the female race before."

Sirius tried to rearrange his face into a scowl, but failed miserably.

"Alright, we're going," Marcella said, taking Sirius's hand.

"Hah, out before you guys," Sirius said, laughing.

Lily rolled her eyes.

Remus watched as Sirius and Marcella disappeared down the hallway, thinking distinctly that he had that relationship, and he gave it up.

Sirius and Marcella held hands all the way, and took every step slowly, as if they were breathing in every moment, afraid it would be their last.

"So where are we going?" Marcella asked.

"Oh, I don't know," Sirius said, grinning mischievously. "We could go anywhere, you know."

"I'm well aware of that, since we're not in Hogwarts, and you seem to know every nook and cranny of the castle," Marcella said, one eyebrow raised.

"Glad you appreciate my skill," Sirius said, grinning.

Marcella shot him a look that was halfway between laughter and exasperation.

"Want to go to the kitchen?" Sirius asked.

"Isn't that a romantic way to spend a weekend," Marcella said sarcastically, but she laughed. "Fine, chowhound. Lead the way."

"Nah, forget it," Sirius said suddenly. "We can eat sometime else."

"What's better than the kitchen?" Marcella asked playfully.

"You," Sirius said, grinning.

Marcella looked at him in feigned shock. "My gosh! Sirius Black likes me better than he likes food! What a great achievement for me, I think I'll go make a plaque and hang it up somewhere."

Sirius laughed. He liked her quirky sense of humor.

The two started walking again, further down the hall. They just seemed to be wandering around. The school was almost empty, save for a few teachers and some first and second years, because almost everyone was at Hogsmeade.

They reached an empty, silent corridor with a dead end. There was no sound except the breathing of the two people that stood in it, hand in hand. Sirius looked down at her, and grinned devilishly. "Want to share mouths?"

"Sirius!" Marcella laughed, pushing him away. "That's the worst pick-up line I've ever heard!"

"Hey! It took me a month to come up with!" Sirius said, a little offended.

"Oh shut up, you idiot," Marcella grinned. She pushed him against the walls of the corridor, and leaned in to kiss him.

The moment their lips touched Sirius felt nothing, heard nothing, and saw nothing other than Marcella. It was like they were alone in the world. It was as if time had stopped. The truth is, snogging Marcella was just…different than snogging all the other girls. It felt odd, but in a great way.

The thing was, Sirius knew Marcella wasn't easy. She didn't melt at his charm. It bothered him at first, because he was so used to girls falling over him. But he realized that that was what attracted him to her. She wasn't afraid of him, and she said whatever she wanted. She was strong. She was brave. And she was pretty damn dangerous with a wand in her hand.

More and more, Sirius wanted to be around her. Oh, he still didn't want commitment, but he was intrigued by her strength, intrigued by her individuality. No girl had ever challenged him before. They always did whatever he wanted, and although he liked it for a while, soon it got boring, and he always moved on. It was like snogging a couch to be with those girls. They never put up any sort of opinion, and stalked him everywhere he went. It got annoying, too. Pretty soon they seemed like nothing more than dead weight. Remus had always told Sirius that he needed to find a real relationship. Sirius had always scoffed at this - no girl could pique his interest.

But Marcella was different. She would fight with him. She would present her thoughts with no hesitation. She was interesting. Sirius was never bored to be around her. And she even denied him kisses at times, which always made him work harder to get one out of her. Marcella wasn't afraid of anything. When they kissed, Sirius always felt a fire, a passion that never burned in those other girls. He had come to admire that passion.

Marcella pulled back and smiled, her eyes glittering.

"Don't stop," Sirius said, breathing. They slid down the wall together and sat on the floor, side by side. Marcella put her head on his lap, and he gently stroked her hair. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"Sirius Black, you are one hell of a kisser," she said, grinning. "Those other girls weren't lying, that's for sure."

"You're not bad yourself," Sirius said, laughing his bark-like laugh.

They sat like that for a while, Sirius absently running his hand through her hair, and Marcella lying there, head on his laps. Sirius's heart felt different somehow. In fact, his whole body felt different somehow; a new, strange and foreign feeling.

"Are we just going to sit like this for the rest of the day?" Sirius asked.

Marcella looked up at him. "Got a problem?" she said challengingly, a glitter in her eyes.

"What if I want to go somewhere else?" Sirius said, trying to look serious.

"Then you'll have to drag me, and hope that I don't stick my wand in your stomach," Marcella laughed.

"I'll take that chance," Sirius said, grinning devilishly. He picked her up and carried her, walking through the corridor.

"Hey!" Marcella said, protesting. "I can walk, you know."

"I'm fully aware of that," Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

"You have bony arms," she grinned.

"Wrong," Sirius said defensively. "It's not bone. It's hard muscle."

"Sure," Marcella said sarcastically.

"Hey!" Sirius said, trying to look offended.

Marcella laughed. "Where are we going?'

"Room of Requirement," Sirius said, turning a corner. "I want to conjure up something really special for you."

"Assuming you don't get lost," Marcella said.

"Hey!" Sirius said again, this time looking truly offended. "You said yourself that I know every nook and cranny of the castle."

"Oh, I'm kidding," Marcella said. When he still looked offended, she leaned out and gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

"I should be offended more often," Sirius said once she pulled away. He was grinning.

"Oh shut up and keep on walking," Marcella laughed.

The two finally arrived on the seventh floor corridor. Sirius set Marcella down, and paced in front of the blank slab of wall. And just as it had done many times in the past, a door appeared. Marcella smiled, and they joined hands, and entered the room together.

* * *

"James, I need to talk to you," Sirius said, pulling James aside after Transfiguration class.

James sensed the urgency in his best friend's tone. "Uh oh," he said, frowning. "What happened?"

"Not now," Sirius hissed, glancing over at where Lily and Marcella were chatting.

James watched his friend, and caught the look in his eyes. Suddenly, comprehension dawned on him. "Oh no," James said, groaning as he understood the situation. "Sirius, please don't tell me…"

"Sorry, James," Sirius said, grimacing. His face was white.

"You can't be serious," James said, staring at his friend.

"I am," Sirius groaned.

"Alright," James sighed. "It's Friday. Tomorrow we sneak out to Hogsmeade, alright? We'll talk it over there. Come on, let's round up Wormtail and Moony."

The three friends on Saturday morning made their way to the Three-Eyed Witch. James and Sirius went first, under the invisibility cloak, then cleared the way for Remus and Peter. It amazed James how the four fit under the cloak first year, and how James and Sirius barely fit under it now.

The four silently made it into the tunnel and sneaked out of the candy shop. "Where d'you want to go?" Remus asked.

"Three Broomsticks," Sirius said tonelessly. The brisk wind screamed in their faces, but they plodded on.

Remus shook his head. "Sirius, what's wrong?"

"It's bad," James said.

"I'll tell you once we're inside," Sirius hissed. "Let's go."

The four boys stepped into the shop and were greeted enthusiastically by Madam Rosmerta. "Hello, boys," she said, smiling.

"Hi, Rosmerta," Sirius said, straining to smile.

"What's the matter?" she asked, noticing his face.

"We really need a private place to talk," James said.

"Done," Rosmerta said, nodding. She led them into a remote corner of the Three Broomsticks. The four sat down, and Sirius clenched his jaw moodily.

"I'll leave you boys to it," she said, walking away.

"Thank you," Remus breathed. He then turned to Sirius, who had that dangerous stormy look in his eyes. "Alright, what happened, Padfoot? Why did you drag us here just to talk?"

Sirius swallowed. "You know last weekend?"

Remus frowned. All he had seen was Sirius and Marcella leaving the common room and walking down the hall together right before he, James, Lily, and Peter left for Hogsmeade. "Vaguely," Remus replied.

"Well, we were talking," Sirius said quietly. "And we were having a good time. And we arrived at the Room of Requirement. We just sort of looked at each other, and we both wanted to go in. That feeling's been kind of repeating itself over the past week."

"Yes…?" Remus said, prodding Sirius.

"And…out of sheer stupidity, we…" Sirius couldn't go on. He smacked his head over and over on the table.

Remus and Peters' eyes widened in shock. "Oh God, Sirius, no," Remus gasped.

"Did you guys break up?" Peter asked stupidly.

"What?" Sirius said disbelievingly. "Peter, you're missing the entire point!"

"He didn't come back to the dorm that night, Pete," James sighed. "And he's been avoiding Marcella for most of the week."

It took a minute before it dawned on Peter too. "Oh God…" he whispered. "You…did it?"

"I am such an idiot," Sirius said, still smacking his head against the table. "We never should have. Now we're…just…connected."

"In more ways than one," Remus said sarcastically.

"Moony, don't," Sirius groaned. "Please don't lecture me right now. I don't think that I can handle it."

"Alright, I'm sorry," Remus said, though the corners of his lips twitched up a little bit. "Although I don't think I'm the beast here anymore."

"Moony!" Sirius moaned hysterically.

"Okay, I'll stop," Remus said, fighting back a laugh.

"So why did you do it?" James asked curiously.

"It was impulse," Sirius said, sighing. "I mean, I saw how my Uncle Al died, and then all those people killed that were reported in the daily prophet. And then after they read the will, I felt so free, and so alive, and…we just were kissing…she looked so beautiful…"

James and Remus looked at each other, lips twitching upward, but neither daring to smile or laugh.

"So, uh, want to give us the details?" James said jokingly. He and Remus couldn't help it. They burst out laughing.

"Is this funny to you?" Sirius said, pained. "I'm in such deep shit here!"

"Aw, Padfoot, you know we're joking," Remus said. "Alright, we promise we'll behave."

"Yeah, it's just weird," James said. "I mean, you and Marci are close, but I never expected this…just not this soon…"

"Yeah, if anything I expected James and Lily to do it first," Remus said, shrugging. "I mean, they're loved each other for seven years…though the first six years were rather lopsided…"

"Oh shut up Moony," James scowled.

"The point is, it's kind of unexpected," Remus continued.

"It's true," Peter nodded.

Sirius looked moodily across the room at nothing in particular.

"I don't really want to ask you what the problem is, but, well, what's the problem?" Remus shrugged. "I mean, you guys really like each other, right?"

James shook his head. Remus never fully understood the dynamics of Sirius. "Moony, he's afraid of commitment. He won't even call Marcella his girlfriend. And then, they go and do…this…and Sirius is screwed over because they both gave something extremely precious to each other."

"What?" Peter asked.

"Virginity, Wormtail," Remus said quietly.

"It's an eternal bond type thing," James sighed.

"I can't handle it!" Sirius half-wailed. He put his head in his hands. "What am I going to do?"

"About Marci?" Remus asked.

"Yes!" Sirius said loudly.

"How's she handling it?" James asked.

"I mean, she seems normal, but I know now it's different..."

"Do you love her?" Remus asked bluntly.

Sirius stared at him. "I don't know," he said slowly.

"She loves you," James said.

"No," Sirius moaned. "She can't! I don't want to be all…all settled! I'm only seventeen, damn it."

"Love doesn't mean settled, Padfoot," Remus sighed.

"I don't want to be tied down right now," Sirius said, a reckless look coming into his eyes.

"Like I said, he's afraid of commitment," James said, leaning back in his chair.

"Sirius, most girls want commitment," Remus said quietly. "They don't want a snogging buddy. They want real love."

"I don't know if I'm capable of giving it," Sirius said bitterly. "Hell, I barely even know what it means."

Remus sighed again, looking at Sirius. Some of that boy that had been there the night before was now gone. Sirius was a man, as much as Remus hated to admit it. A really whiny, immature man, but a man all the same. Marcella had changed him in more ways than one.

"Sirius, do you want to be committed to Marcella?" he asked.

Sirius thought for a moment. "I don't," he finally said slowly. "Moony, I can't. I just…I can't do it."

"Then break up with her," Remus said firmly.

Sirius stared at him. "What?" he sputtered out. "Why?"

"Do you care about her?" Remus asked.

"Yes, of course I do!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Then do you think it's fair to hinge her on a relationship that you don't want?"

Sirius averted his eyes. "I guess not," he said slowly, reluctantly.

"Sirius, you're being selfish," Remus snapped.

"Oh yeah?" Sirius said, voice rising.

"Yeah," Remus said, nodding. "You want her to be around you, but you don't take the time to be around her."

"That is not true," Sirius said heatedly.

"Tell me this isn't true then: you just want someone to snog, and you're oblivious to the fact that she wants a deeper relationship."

Sirius opened his mouth, but said nothing.

"That's what I thought," Remus said angrily. "Sirius, think about someone other than yourself for a change."

"Remus, what's gotten into you?" Sirius asked, frowning.

"What's gotten into _me_?" Remus asked disbelievingly. "Damn it Sirius, open your eyes!" He slammed his fist on the table - an action so rare that James and Peter were frightened. "People spend their entire lives searching for what you have," he snapped angrily. "Someone who loves you and cares about you. And what do you do? You bloody toy with her feelings! And you're unwilling to let her go for your own selfish purposes! I'm beginning to wonder if you even care about her at all."

"Of course I do!" Sirius said in protest. "She's the favorite of all my…um…girls!"

"If you care about her, you'll get off your lazy arse and do what's right," Remus said firmly. "I'm done, Sirius. I've said all I need." Giving Sirius one last pointed look, Remus stood up abruptly. He grabbed his jacket and was out the door the next second.

"James," Sirius said pleadingly.

James looked at Sirius sadly. "Sorry mate," he sighed. "Remus is right."

"What's gotten into him?" Sirius said, bewildered.

"You don't see it," James said. It wasn't a question. It was a statement. James sighed again. "I'm not sure if you've noticed, but Remus has been depressed lately. Ever since he and Faye talked."

"But didn't she want to get back together with him again?" Sirius asked, confused.

"Yeah," James said. "But Remus couldn't do it."

Sirius stared at him. "He never told me that part."

"You were too busy brooding," James shrugged. "Either that, or you were too busy snogging. Anyway, Moony feels that it's just never going to work out with Faye because of the family problem. And he's just frustrated because you and Marcella have no barriers, and yet you still don't seem to appreciate your situation."

"Oh," Sirius said, now feeling ashamed.

"Sirius, listen to me," James said, looking straight at his best friend. "It's not fair to Marcella if you keep leading her on like this, alright? It's your decision, in the end. But this is not a light situation. It's not going to just blow over. You owe it to yourself, but more importantly, you owe it to her."

Sirius stayed silent.

James sighed. "Maybe the girls at school are right."

"What are they right about?" Sirius snapped.

"It's not like they've been perfect to her," James said sarcastically. "You know the almost the whole female population at Hogwarts is after you. Some of the girls have been really mean to Marcella just because you two spend so much time together."

"What?" Sirius said, fuming in rage. "Who are they? I'll kill them!"

"And this is why Marcella never told you," James sighed. "But anyway, they comfort themselves in knowing that your relationship won't last."

"And how do they know that?" Sirius asked in a low voice.

"Because that's how you are, damn it," James said quietly. "You move on, girl after girl. They think it's the same with Marcella. I thought you two really had something. But hey. Maybe this time, your best friend read you wrong."

Sirius stared at him for the longest time.

"Think about it, Padfoot," James sighed. "I'm leaving. I have patrol."

And finally, Sirius was left, sitting alone with Peter. "Wormtail, what do you think I should do?"

"I wouldn't know," Peter said, almost angrily.

Sirius didn't seem to hear. They both wordlessly stood up and left Hogsmeade by way of the tunnel.

That night, Sirius couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned in his bed, but nothing worked. Silently, he stepped out of bed, and down to the common room. He looked around him, and faintly remembered the first time he stepped in there as a first year. He was so excited, and it had chased away all thoughts of his cousins.

The fire in the fireplace was roaring merrily. Sirius gazed at it, and the dancing flames reflected in his eyes. And he knew what he had to do.

* * *

The next day, Sirius didn't want to get out of bed. He had struggled all night with internal conflict, trying to figure out what his situation was with Marcella. He liked her, he knew. He liked her more than he thought he did. But Sirius was so unsure. He had never hesitated to break it off with any other girl, but this time it was different. Something about what he had to do just tore at him.

He couldn't look at her, and disappeared right out of the common room before she saw him. It was too uncomfortable for words. He knew he had made a mistake, and he didn't know how to fix it. If he could take back everything that night, he would. Sirius sighed. He just wasn't ready for this.

Remus was gazing across the Great Hall at breakfast time. No matter where he tried to look, his eyes always seemed to lock on Faye. It annoyed him so much he had to force himself to turn away, and found himself face-to-face with Marcella.

"Gah," he said, surprised. "You scared me! Where did you come from?" He took his goblet and downed some pumpkin juice.

"The common room," Marcella said, with an odd look in her eyes. "What's wrong with Sirius? I can't find him anywhere. I think he's avoiding me."

Remus nearly spat out his juice. Sirius was nowhere to be found, and Marcella clearly sensed something was not right. "Um, I don't know," Remus said nervously, wiping his mouth with a napkin and forcing himself to swallow his juice. "Why don't you go ask James?"

Marcella looked at him, eyes narrowed. "Because you're not entwined around a red-haired girl and unable to talk. Plus, Peter seems too engrossed in his toast to talk to me. You never were a good liar anyway," she said pointedly. "You know exactly what's going on. Now tell me."

Remus groaned. "Marci, I can't tell you. But if Sirius doesn't soon, then I might have to."

"What is it?" Marcella asked, concerned.

Remus fiddled with his fingers, trying to keep his expression blank.

Instantly, her face blanched, and her expression went blank. "He told you, didn't he," she whispered, clearly mortified.

"About what?" Remus croaked.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Marcella snapped. She seemed to be shaking a bit.

Remus looked at her, eyes sad. "Yeah, I do."

"Damn it, it was a mistake," she sighed, putting her head in her hand. "We never should have."

"Are you angry?" Remus said quietly.

"Not at you," Marcella sighed. "I just thought he would have had more respect for our relationship than to divulge it to everyone he knows."

Remus grimaced. This was not going to be a good day. "He only told us, as far as I know," Remus defended weakly.

"Is that a fact? Or an idealization?" Marcella said, jaw clenched.

"Maybe both," Remus sighed resignedly.

She shook her head. "I need to talk to him."

"Don't make the first step," Remus said to her firmly.

"Why?" Marcella frowned.

"He needs to learn something from this ordeal," Remus said. "Let him come to you. Will you promise me that?"

Marcella paused for a moment. Her eyes were hardened. "Yeah," she finally said. "I promise."

Remus nodded. "Thank you."

The bell rang just then. Remus, Peter, Lily, Marcella and James headed off to class, thinking that there was no way Sirius would avoid going to class. They were wrong. Sirius didn't show up the entire day. James had a sneaking suspicion that Sirius had used a charm to make himself sick and was really sitting, perfectly healthy, in the hospital wing.

The entire day, Sirius was nowhere in sight. Everyone was surprised, and rumors floated around like crazy. James ignored all of them. He knew his friend too well. Sirius was trying to avoid the inevitable, and James hated that.

After dinner, James strode up to the hospital wing. He begged Lily to cover him on patrol, and she did so, sensing how much rift existed between Sirius and Marcella. James burst into the hospital wing and strode straight into the back, and found Sirius propped up against a bed, twirling his wand around his fingers aimlessly.

"Hey, Prongs," Sirius said, grinning as he saw his best friend.

"Padfoot, get up right now," James snapped, snatching the wand out of his hand.

"What's wrong with you?" Sirius said, frowning.

"I know fully well you are not sick," James said.

"Ah, well," Sirius said, gazing off into space.

"No, you listen to me," James said bluntly. "You can't spend your life avoiding the issue, alright? You need to face it."

"Who told you to mess with my business," Sirius snarled, still not looking at James.

"I did," James growled, eyes flashing. "I'm your best friend, Padfoot. Anything that happens to you, it's my business. All these years, and I never knew you were a bloody coward."

Sirius turned to him, jaw clenched. Something like hurt flitted across his eyes. "What did you call me?" he whispered.

"You heard me," James said, face set. "You're the one who always wanted a fight. You taught us to stand up for our beliefs, Padfoot. And now, not only are you ignoring someone who loves you, you're running away."

"I'm not running away," Sirius murmured. His eyes weren't angry. They were lost.

James shook his head, and looked at his best friend. There was a moment of silence. "You're confused," he said quietly, at last. "But you can't hide forever."

"I _am_ confused," Sirius said. "I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do."

"It doesn't matter," James said softly. "Doing something is always better than hiding."

Sirius looked at him, and nodded.

James patted Sirius on the shoulder. And wordlessly, the two knew that they were okay.

They walked out of the hospital wing together, and immediately ran into Marcella, who stopped dead as she saw them. "Hello," James said uncomfortably, as Sirius and Marcella stared at each other.

"I thought you might be in here," Marcella said to Sirius, eyebrow raised.

James glanced at the both of them. "Good luck," he whispered to Sirius and walked away down the hall.

Now the two were standing in the middle of the hallway, alone. Marcella remembered her promise to Remus, and simply stared at Sirius, waiting for him to speak.

Not knowing exactly what to do, Sirius teetered on his feet for a minute. "Um," he finally croaked out.

Marcella couldn't stand it anymore. "What is your problem?" she said angrily. "Why have you been hiding from me?"

Sirius mumbled something incoherent.

"What was that?" Marcella said, jaws clenched.

"Don't yell at me," Sirius growled.

"I'm not," Marcella said calmly. "I'm trying to get an answer out of you."

"I've got your answer," Sirius spat. "We're done."

Marcella simply looked at him. Her face was nothing but shock. "What?" she finally whispered.

"Y-Yeah," Sirius said, uncomfortably.

"Oh, okay," Marcella said, eyes narrowed. "D'you want to inform me of the reason?" Before Sirius could answer, she cut him off. "No, don't say anything. I know exactly what it is. You just love taking advantage of people, don't you."

Sirius opened his mouth to protest, but she didn't give him a chance to speak. "You know what I thought? I thought that you were actually capable of some affection behind your bloody cold heart. But I was too idealistic, wasn't I, to even hope that Sirius Black, master of all things, could even hope to feel anything for me, isn't that right? ISN'T THAT RIGHT?" she yelled the last sentence.

"WHAT?" Sirius sputtered in disbelief.

"You know what I gave to you?" she said, teeth clenched. "Everything. I opened my heart to you, I let you in. I wanted you to do the same but you fought me _every step _of the way. You pushed me away, again and again. You're doing it now."

"I don't have to listen to this," Sirius snapped. He was expecting her to cry, just like every other girl. He was expecting her to break down so he could walk away.

But Marcella didn't cry. She looked at him with cold, hard disappointment. And Sirius, for the first time, felt a stabbing pain at his heart. He had almost forgotten that she was too different from the other girls, too brave, and too smart to cry.

"Yes, you do," Marcella snapped.

"What's it to you," Sirius said sullenly.

"Damn it, Sirius," she said, shaking her head. "I love you."

There was a moment of dead silence.

"What?" Sirius stammered. His mind seemed to have stopped, along with his heart.

"I love you," she said again, her hands shaking a bit. "Or, at least, I did." With one last hard look at him, she turned away and walked down the hall.

Sirius was left alone, standing there. He didn't know what to do or say. But oddly, he felt like a big hole had been put through his stomach, and he didn't understand what he was feeling.


	59. Friction

A/N: Hi guys! I know, I'm sorry it's taken me this long to get out a new chapter. Truth was, I didn't feel like writing any more before Deathly Hallows, and now that everything is out in the open, it's going to make it so much easier for me to stick to a storyline.

Also, I've taken some time to fix the earliest chapters so that they do correspond to Deathly Hallows. The first and second chapters, mainly, were given a complete makeover. When I have time I'll go and fix some of the later chapters as well.

This chapter in particular is shorter than the usual. I'm working my way into getting back into writing fanfiction. I really did like writing it though, and I hope you enjoy it too!

And, as usual, I've got shout-outs and thank-yous to everyone who read and reviewed! Thank you to Hahukum Konn, theo darkstar, brona, phanthom, living-is-easy-with-eyes-closed, flaylda, LunaSky, SarcasticLemon, summerlovin9191, Kates Master, chocoluvr (No, but I do like that idea), Siriute, Kendra-the hyper one, elise bentwin, Young Prewett, RitaSkeeterGossip, Rum and Coke, Adenosine Triphosphate, siriusluver92, julie, Xx-Erin Black-xX-XPadfootX, atram, dilaimar, -MaRaUdErLoVeR423-, harley, and noodlez! You guys are all fantastic, and thanks so much!

* * *

_March - April, 1977_

* * *

Friction

"What happened, Sirius?" Remus asked immediately as Sirius walked into the common room. He, James and Peter were sitting on the couch, and sprung up immediately at the sight of Sirius.

"What do you think happened?" Sirius said snappishly. He was still in shock over what had just happened. Thoughts and images of Marcella swarmed in his head, and the words she spoke attacked him like a bunch of angry birds.

"You broke up with her?" Peter asked quietly.

"We're just done," Sirius spat.

James put a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. "It had to happen, mate. You did the right thing."

"It didn't feel like the right thing," Sirius said with a clenched jaw.

"Do you love her?" Remus asked.

"No," Sirius replied, a bit too quickly.

"Then you did the right thing," Remus said quietly.

Sirius didn't say anything, but felt a large pang in his throat that he could not push away. There was a tense moment of silence as the four friends sat down in the deserted common room.

It was a Sunday. The spring flowers were blooming, and the weather was turning warmer with each passing day. The teachers also were piling insurmountable amounts of work on the students, as the N.E.W.T.s were quickly approaching. Even James and Sirius were forced at points to study, and Peter was pretty close to hysterics half the time the Marauders saw him. Remus practically lived in the library. He and Faye were slowly rebuilding a solid friendship by helping each other with different study subjects.

"You'll be alright," James said after a while.

"Of course I will," Sirius said impatiently. "I never said I wouldn't. I mean, I've never had problems readjusting in the past, have I?"

"Well, no," Remus admitted.

James thought it wise not to point out that Marcella was radically different from those other girls.

"And I'm happier too," Sirius continued, shrugging. "I mean, I won't have to worry about her. I won't have to think about what Valentine's present to get her. It's a load off my back." He stood up and started pacing.

His voice became more feverish, as if he was trying to convince himself. "I won't have to worry about her falling in love with me, for Merlin's sake." He laughed, although it was hollow. Then he saw the expression on Remus's face and became quiet.

There was another tense silence.

"Okay," James said after a while, standing up. "Come on, guys. It's a beautiful day, let's go do something, eh?"

"Agreed," Sirius said quickly, as he, Remus and Peter sprung up from the couch. He was happy to get away from the tense atmosphere, but he also needed time to convince himself that he was happy. Happy that he had gotten out of the relationship before he had to deal with love. And that he was happier by himself.

* * *

The rest of the year dragged on slowly. McGonagall was working them even harder than before. The atmosphere in the common room was usually tense, as both prefects and the Heads shouted at students to keep quiet.

"This is total hell," James moaned, coming out of their recent transfiguration class. "I'm going to need three rolls of parchment just to complete the next homework assignment! McGonagall's crazy!"

"Why thank you, Mr. Potter," McGonagall said dryly behind them. The Marauders jumped in shock.

"Hello, professor," James said, charmingly.

"I expect an outstanding essay," McGonagall said briskly. "Good day."

Once she was gone, James groaned. "I'm dead."

Remus laughed. "You and your big mouth, Prongs."

"Hey, I'm proud of it!" James said defensively.

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Oh, here come Lily and Marci," James said, waving to the girls across the hallway as they came towards them.

"Shit," Sirius said, and immediately dived behind Peter, who was inevitably too small to cover him.

Remus shook his head and yanked Sirius back up by the hair.

"Oww!" Sirius said in protest.

"Stop it," Remus said, jaw set. "You're acting immature."

"No I'm not," Sirius whined.

Remus sighed as the girls arrived in front of them. "Hello," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Hey Remus," Lily said, smiling, as she gave James a quick kiss. Sirius thought she gave him a cold glare as she disentangled herself from James.

"Hello Sirius," Marcella said, turning to him. She sounded as if nothing had happened between them at all, and it threw Sirius off-guard.

"Yeah," he mumbled.

"How are you? We haven't talked in a while," she said lightly. James noticed the slightly sarcastic tone in her voice, which was hidden by extreme politeness.

"Fine," Sirius said, trying to shrug causally.

"Okay, great," she said, then turned to James. "We do have a Quidditch match soon, no?"

"We do," James responded. "I'm just glad we didn't have to have tryouts this year. We have a really great team, and there was no need."

"Yeah," Marcella laughed. "Though I think some of the second years were mad about that."

"They can get over it," James said airily.

Lily giggled, to the surprise of everyone.

Sirius was watching Marcella's animated conversation, trying to convince himself that he didn't miss talking to her. He failed. There was just something about her that he missed. He couldn't understand it, either. He had never felt like this.

The group headed off to their next class. "Your N.E.W.T.s are coming," was the first thing Slughorn boomed as they entered the dungeon. "You all are brilliant students, and I expect you all to pass, and to pass well." He gave Lily a charming smile, and Lily blushed slightly.

He set them to work on some complicated potions. James fought back the urge to laugh when Sirius nudged him and pointed at Snape, who was concentration so hard that his eyes seemed glazed. Unfortunately, Lily caught this and punched James on the arm.

"Owww!" James hissed.

"Stop it," Lily snarled. "We have our N.E.W.T.s coming up, you can't goof around like this anymore!"

James opened his mouth to protest, took one look at her narrowed eyes, and closed his mouth.

* * *

James had called a Quidditch practice on a rainy day to prepare for the final match of the year against Hufflepuff. The score was incredibly tight, and the last game would determine everything. The team was enthusiastic about the final match, and therefore trooped out into the relentless storm to get some last shots in.

Sirius almost always accompanied James to the matches, and Lily went for both Marcella and James, but today they both sat in the common room. Faye and Remus were, predictably, in the library, and Peter was off somewhere doing his own thing. Lily was poring through a book and looked up when she realized that she was alone in the common room with Sirius, who was shooting random spells out of his wand while lying on the couch.

Lily clenched her jaw and stood up. Sirius was distractedly firing spells into the air. "Sirius," Lily said. "Sirius!"

Sirius jumped a bit and sat up. "Hey Evans. What's up?"

"I want to talk to you," Lily said.

"Um, okay," Sirius said, frowning a bit. He shifted down the couch to make room for her. "Shoot."

"I want to know - " Lily started.

"Is this going to be about Marcella?" Sirius interjected, frowning.

"Yes," Lily said.

"I don't want to talk about it," Sirius said moodily.

Lily glared at him. "Well I do!" she exclaimed. "You dumped her, and especially after what you two did together…"

"That night was a mistake!" Sirius said, voice and temper rising. "It was a mistake on both our parts, alright? We never should have done it!"

"Mistake?" Lily said, laughing derisively. "You used her!"

"That is not true," Sirius snarled.

"You coward!" Lily spat venomously, body shaking. "You bloody coward! You got what you wanted out of her, then you ditched her!"

A couple of second-years who had just entered the common room looked at them in alarm and sped up to the dormitories.

Sirius looked ready to kill. "That was the last thing on my mind!" he roared.

"This is why I loathe you, Sirius Black!" Lily screamed.

"Oh yeah?" Sirius shouted.

"Yeah!" Lily spat. "Do you know how heartbroken she is?"

Sirius wanted to scream back, "yes", because he felt exactly how Marcella felt. But he kept himself silent.

"She was crying, damn it!" Lily shouted, now beside herself. "And do you know how rarely she cries?"

Once again, Sirius wanted to scream "yes".

"I don't bloody trust you, Black! I warned Marcella…I warned her to keep her heart close…But she trusted you, Sirius! She trusted you!"

"I know!" Sirius roared.

"No, you don't know!" Lily screamed.

"Yeah, I bloody well know!" Sirius spat. "I broke it off with her against my will!"

Lily shook her head and looked at him disgustedly. "Against your will?" she said, laughing sardonically. "Since when has your judgement stopped you from breaking other girls' hearts?"

Sirius glared at her coldly. "You don't get it - " he started.

"No, you know what I don't get?" Lily snarled, cutting him off. "What everyone sees in you. James has defended you so many times. So has Marcella. For a while, I trusted what they said, but now I'm coming to see that you're worse than what I ever thought you were."

She made to stand up, but Sirius grabbed her arm and wrenched her back on the couch.

"Let go of me," Lily snarled.

"Not until you hear what I have to say," Sirius snapped, pulling out his wand.

"Are you threatening me?" Lily said, eyes narrowed.

"What are you going to do, give me detention?" Sirius said sarcastically.

Lily's jaws clenched. Sirius's hand was vice-like on her arm; her eyes watered with pain.

"Listen to me. I broke up with Marcella because the guys told me it was the right thing to do," Sirius began.

"The right think to do?" Lily said incredulously. "How can that be the right thing to do?'

"Will you just let me talk?" Sirius snarled. "Look, you're right. I don't want a commitment, and that's why we broke up. I didn't want to string her along on a relationship I don't want!"

"She wanted it!"

"I don't, it's the same thing with you and James for six years. The relationship is lopsided!" Sirius snapped.

Lily glared at him.

"It wouldn't be fair to her," Sirius added.

Lily let out a snort. "Right, like you ever cared about what was fair to other people."

Sirius let go of her arm, his eyes narrowed. "You really know nothing about me."

"What's that to do with anything?" Lily demanded.

"I don't care if you believe it, but I care about Marcella. I do," he snapped before she could say anything. "I just…don't love her. Not like that."

Lily stared at him for a few seconds. His eyes were stormy.

"She loved you," she said quietly.

"I know," Sirius whispered sadly.

Lily closed her eyes and turned away. Without another word, she stood up and stormed up the stairs into the girls' dormitories.

* * *

Sirius and Marcella were extremely polite to each other whenever they had to communicate. On many levels, this made Remus, Lily, Faye, James and Peter even more uncomfortable than if they had started yelling at each other in the middle of the great hall. Marcella seemed to be coping well.

"Who's she going to next Hogsmeade weekend with?" Sirius asked curiously one breakfast time.

Remus mumbled something incoherent.

"What was that?" Sirius asked.

"Daniel Wyatt," James supplied.

"Isn't he on the Quidditch team?" Sirius asked, frowning.

"Yeah," James said, grimacing. "That's how I heard about it, actually."

Remus gestured to the couple, who was eating breakfast with Lily down the bench. Marcella was laughing, and Daniel was talking animatedly. The marauders watched as Daniel placed a kiss on Marcella's cheek.

Sirius looked sulky and moody the rest of the day.

The next day, at breakfast, he showed up snogging Mary MacDonald. They barely pulled their lips apart the entire time; Remus wondered if either of them was hungry, because they ate nothing. He also wondered how they could breathe.

"Sirius, why are you doing this?" James hissed when they were about to enter Transfiguration class.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked innocently.

"You never liked Mary much," James snapped. "Plus, do you want Lily to yell at you again? They are good friends, you know."

"I know," Sirius snapped. "I don't know, I mean. Mary's…"

"Attractive?" James supplied sarcastically.

"No, more like clingy," Sirius said through gritted teeth. "But, you know, she seemed perfectly willing to go out with me again, even after we broke it off..."

"You're just doing this to retaliate Marcella and Daniel," James scowled.

"So what if I am?" Sirius shot back.

James sighed, shaking his head. "Don't do this, mate. This isn't the right way to go about this."

Sirius clenched his jaws but didn't speak.

* * *

It was Saturday, and the group of friend had agreed to gather around for a study session. The N.E.W.T.s were closer than James had expected, and he suddenly found himself panicking before a test, which he never did.

"What are we doing today?" Sirius said, putting down his bag to sit between Remus and James in their study circle. With a jolt, he realized that Daniel was sitting next to Marcella. He scowled.

"Charms," Lily said, poring through their third year textbook. "There are so many of them! What if I don't remember any of them during the exam?" she asked, a bit hysterical.

"Not going to happen," James said, putting an arm around her.

"You never know!" Lily said shrilly, as she frantically turned a page.

James shot Sirius a look halfway between amusement and exasperation.

"Honey, you'll do great," Marcella said reassuringly. Sirius noticed that she and Daniel were holding hands. "You study a lot, and it'll pay off."

"Thanks," Lily said distractedly.

"Hey, Dan," Sirius said suddenly. Everyone turned to look at him. "Great aim. You know, for the Quidditch game against Slytherin."

Daniel turned red. That game, he had lost control of the beater's bat when he swung at the bludger. Not only did the bludger almost knock Marcella off her broom, the bat dropped, and in the time it took for Daniel to retrieve it three goals had scored against Gryffindor.

"Oh, that was – I mean - " he said, embarrassed.

"That's not fair," Marcella cut in, glaring coldly at Sirius. "Daniel usually is an excellent player."

"Of course," Sirius said, smiling hollowly. "Although that cost you the game, did it not?"

"Sirius," Remus began.

"It was only by ten points - " James started.

"It was a mistake," Marcella said coldly, jaws set, cutting both boys off. "We all make mistakes, Sirius. You should know better than anyone."

Sirius stood up at about the same time Marcella did. "I'm leaving," he snapped, picking up his bookbag.

"No, you stay, I insist," Marcella snarled. "Come on Dan, we're leaving." Sirius watched as Marcella stormed out of the common room, Daniel in her wake.

"What the hell is your problem?" Lily shouted at Sirius once Marcella had gone.

"I don't have a bloody problem!" Sirius roared.

"Sirius, why did you do that?" Remus asked quietly.

"I couldn't help it, okay?" Sirius snapped, glaring at Remus.

Lily stood up. "That is not okay!" she shouted, clearly beside herself.

Peter recoiled, looking quite scared. The rest of the common room had turned to look at them.

"I don't have to stand here and listen to this," Sirius spat. "I'm going."

"I'm not finished with you!" Lily snarled.

James watched in shock as Sirius stormed out of the common room, bag already slung over his shoulder. Lily abandoned all her books and drew out her wand, stomping after him. "Oh shit," James said hurriedly. Leaving Remus, Faye and Peter sitting in the common room, he too pulled out his wand and ran after them.

"You come back here right now!" Lily screamed, her voice echoing off the walls of the hallway.

"Leave me alone!" Sirius roared, now pulling out his wand. "You have to poke your nose into every goddamn thing - "

"This is my business, Sirius Black!" Lily spat. "She is my best friend! You have no right, no right at all – not fair - "

"Fair," Sirius said, letting out a maniacal laugh. "I thought you said the other day that I didn't care about what was fair?"

Lily's green eyes narrowed coldly. She made a movement with her wand, and a red jet of light shot out of it. But Sirius was too quick for her; he dodged, and retaliated with a spell that narrowly missed her right arm.

"Stop it right now! Both of you!" James boomed, running up.

"Prongs, get out of the way!" Sirius snarled. "This is between me and her!" He shot another spell at Lily, which missed.

"Sirius!" James said, trying to pull his best friend's wand out of his hand.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY, PRONGS!" Sirius roared, pushing James away so roughly that he nearly collided with the nearest wall.

"Lily, stop," James said pleadingly, regaining his balance.

"NO!" Lily screamed. "I WILL NOT STOP! HOW _DARE _HE? JAMES, MOVE! _IMPEDIMENTA_!"

James watched, horrified, as Sirius flew backwards and hit a wall. He immediately jumped up again, now cold anger stormy in his eyes. He shot a spell out of his wand; it was so powerful that even though Lily dodged it, the part of the skin it was nearest to suddenly glowed red, and she crumpled on the floor.

"PROTEGO!" James roared as Lily and Sirius were both about to fire another curse. The shield charm expanded, and another moment later, Sirius had stormed off.

"Are you okay?" James asked, running over to her.

"I'm fine," Lily snapped. "Why did you do that? I wanted to curse the hell out of him!"

"And how would that have looked on your Head Girl record?" James said lightly.

Lily shot him a glare. "I want to know," she said through gritted teeth. "Why he's being such an arse?"

"That's the way he is," James said placatingly.

"What kind of excuse is that?" Lily spat, springing up from the floor.

"It's not an excuse, it's just how he normally is," James said. "He's going through some rough times, Lily - "

"Rough times?" Lily said, letting out a sarcastic laugh. "You know, somehow, I have a hard time believing that. He dumped Marcella. He used her."

James considered this a low blow. "Lily, come on. He didn't use her - "

"Yes, he did!" Lily snapped.

"No, he didn't," James said, trying to stay calm. "They both consented to their mistake, and he had a hard time deciding what to do afterward."

"What, like ignore her?" Lily scoffed.

"He was confused," James said, now beginning to sound defensive. "He's really broken up about it! He did the right thing by letting her go - "

"How can that be the right thing?" Lily shouted, stamping her foot.

"He's not leading her on, he cut it off early," James said. "Alright? And this breakup is really hard on him."

"Somehow, I don't believe that," Lily snarled.

James's eyes narrowed. "That's not fair," he said coldly. "You don't know Sirius. He's irrational, but he's not a bad person. He really cared about Marcella."

Lily glared at him.

"Now, come on, let's get back to studying charms, alright?" James said, lightness returning to his tone.

"Forget it," Lily said sullenly. "Let the other three study."

"Why? Are you sure you're okay?" James asked quietly.

"Of course I'm sure!" Lily snapped. "It's not like you care anyway."

James looked down at her, frowning. "What do you mean by that?"

Lily laughed derisively. "Well it's not like you really care if you flunk any tests, right? You don't care. You don't even like to study."

"Just because I don't like to study doesn't mean I don't care about my N.E.W.T.s," James said, temper rising.

"Sure," Lily said sarcastically, looking away.

James looked at her disbelievingly, anger rising dramatically. "It may not seem like it, but I bloody care about my future just as much as you care about yours. Just because you might have to work harder for it - "

"Excuse me?" Lily said icily, turning to look at him with narrowed eyes. "There's the old ego again, I was wondering where it had gone."

James threw up his hands. "I can't deal with this right now," he snapped.

"Then don't!" Lily shouted. "Walk away!"

"With pleasure!" James yelled, whipping around to head back into the common room. The portrait swung open, and he disappeared from sight.

Once again, Lily collapsed on the floor, looking at the spot where he had just been standing. She shook her head and sighed wearily, wishing she could take back this whole day and start over.


	60. Recovery

A/N: Hi guys! Yep, quick update from me to make up for that long lag period.

This chapter has a lot of fluff, combined with a lot of sad moments with stupid teenagers, so it was inevitably fun to write. I apologize for the sap in advance, I hope it wasn't too unbearable! I hope you all enjoy!

Now, of course, I have to thank the wonderful people who have helped me with their reviews! Thanks to -MaRaUdErLoVeR423-, Contorce, Xx-Erin Black-xX-XPadfootX, Young Prewett, Kendra - the hyper one, chocoluvr (thanks for pointing out the mistake!), dilaimar, dandn5000, elise bentwin, living-is-easy-with-eyes-closed, layle the cat, and LunaSky! You all are the best!

* * *

_April - May, 1978_

* * *

Recovery

For Remus, Faye and Peter, the next couple of days were extremely awkward. Sirius was so sullen that he wouldn't speak to anybody; only rarely did people ever see him. He seemed to be spending a lot more time out of the castle than in. Marcella held her head high and was plodding forward with Dan, who never hesitated to call her his girlfriend.

On the other side of the spectrum, Lily and James were barely speaking to each other; Remus was reminded of the polite conversations between Marcella and Sirius before that blew up in all their faces, and was wondering if James and Lily would suffer the same fate.

"Remus, I didn't do anything wrong, did I?" James asked his friend anxiously one Sunday morning in their dorm.

Remus looked at James and closed the book he was reading. "I'm not sure, but I don't think so," he said quietly.

"I hope not," James sighed. "I was trying to prevent a full-scale duel between Padfoot and Lily…and you know how Lily doesn't understand Sirius. Then she started making assumptions about Sirius because she didn't understand him…so I felt I had to defend him. Then, out of the blue, she accuses me of not caring about my N.E.W.T.s! That's when I lost my temper."

Remus looked at James thoughtfully. "You didn't do anything wrong," he said reassuringly.

"But what am I supposed to do now?" James groaned. "She's my girlfriend, and I love her. And Sirius is my best friend, and has been for so long. They seem to hate each other, but ironically, neither of them are speaking to me."

Chuckling, Remus opened his book again. "Your life is really tangled, isn't it," he said, looking down to read again.

"Yes, it is!" James said desperately. "Moony, please help me, I don't know…"

Remus looked up from his book. "Prongs, you didn't do anything wrong and you know it. So will you please stop stressing? Look, Lily and Sirius need to work this out on their own. Once they do that, I think this will all blow over."

"Really?" James said hopefully.

Laughing at the expression on James's face, Remus nodded. "Lily's been really stressed, and she's also trying to be a loyal friend. What you said about how you don't need to study as much probably didn't help her mood, only because it was true. Once she and Sirius work out their problems, everything should return to normal. They need to understand each other."

"What about Marcella?" James asked.

"Ah, well," Remus sighed. "That one's more complicated. Sirius loves her, I can tell, but he's too afraid to admit that to himself. Just don't push him. He's smart enough; he'll realize it sooner or later."

James nodded. "Thanks Moony. I don't know what we'd do without you."

Remus laughed. "Do me a favor though, okay? Make sure Sirius is okay by the next full moon coming up soon. If he does something stupid we could all get in danger."

"I'll try," James promised.

* * *

It was another patrol night for Lily and James, and things were not going smoothly at all. Lily had returned to her annoying habit of staring at the ceiling. She only talked to James when it was absolutely necessary.

James, on the other hand, had decided that he wasn't going to be the first to give in this time around. He knew, and Remus assured him, that he did nothing wrong. He hated not talking to Lily like this, but she was being unfair to him.

Finally, after what seemed like decades, the patrol was over. As James and Lily wordlessly headed up to the common room together, James vaguely heard a noise overhead. His seeker's instincts told him to get out of the way, and he pushed Lily roughly to the right.

"Hey - " Lily screamed.

The statue head Peeves had pushed onto the two of them crashed beside them, missing James's leg by inches.

"Peeves!" James yelled. But Peeves had already zoomed off, cackling.

Lily shook her head. "That damn poltergeist," she muttered, pulling out her wand. "_Reparo_." Instantly, the statue head mended itself, and James placed it back on the stand where it belonged.

There was an awkward silence as James and Lily looked at each other. "Um, thanks," Lily said, clearing her throat.

"No problem," James mumbled.

She sped off, but James caught up with her. "Lily, please, listen to me."

"What, James?" she said peevishly. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Fine," James snapped. "But go talk to Sirius, will you?"

Lily stopped dead in her tracks. "Why the hell would I want to do that?" She glared at him. "I'm not exactly fond of him, as you bloody well know."

"Maybe if you two talked you could see why he had to break up with Marcella," James said pleadingly.

"I already tried that," Lily snapped.

"Are you going to at least try to understand him?" James asked.

"No," Lily said bluntly.

James's eyes narrowed. "You're too damn stubborn for your own good," he said, beginning to walk again.

"What did you say?" Lily's angry voice called from behind him. But he didn't stop to listen; he sped up, and climbed through the portrait hole.

* * *

On the other side of the castle, Remus was studying in the library once again, books piled like mountains beside his arm. He vaguely realized that it was past curfew, but he didn't care. A couple more books wouldn't hurt, and Madam Pince seemed to be on the other side of the library.

He read and read about Transfiguration, about Goblin Wars, about plants and gillyweed. His eyes watered with concentration as he flipped through the pages. He was just about the put the fourth year Defense book down when he heard someone pulling out a chair to sit beside him.

"Is this what you do when you can't sleep?" Faye said, laughing.

"You know me too well," Remus grinned. "I can't stand going up to the dormitory to watch Sirius be sullen and James be confused and Peter be hysterical. What are you doing here?"

"I figured you'd be down here," Faye said smiling. "I couldn't sleep either, there's too much stuff to study."

"Agreed," Remus sighed. "It's crazy, isn't it? Just think about it; after we take these exams, it'll be like our Seventh Year is over, and we'll leave Hogwarts."

"I know," Faye said. "I think I'm really going to miss this place. But I am looking forward to having a career."

"Me too," Remus nodded. "But I just feel like it'll all be over, and I'm not ready for it to end." He sighed again, and looked down wearily at his book.

"Hey, cheer up," she said, reaching for a package wrapped in tissue she had brought with her. "Look, I nicked some desserts from the kitchens. It's a midnight snack."

Surprised, Remus looked up at her.

"Oh come on," she said, laughing. "You were the one who showed me how to get in there."

Remus turned red as she opened the package containing cookies and eclairs. "We're not supposed to eat in here," he said, laughing nervously. "Madam Pince would kill us -"

"Do you see her now?" Faye asked softly. "Oh, come on, Remus. Who cares if we get kicked out? And there are chocolate chips on this cookie…yum…" She picked one up and deliberately wafted it in front of him. "Some sugar will make you study better."

"I don't know," Remus said, though his stomach betrayed him; it let out a loud rumble.

Faye laughed. "You're hungry. And come on, take a chance. When's the last time you've done that?"

"Last full moon," Remus said sarcastically and instantly regretted it. Faye's smile wavered a bit, but she held it there.

"Oh alright," he said, grabbing an éclair and stuffing it in his mouth. "This is really good!" he said after swallowing.

Faye grinned. "Commend the House Elves, their cooking is superb."

"Couldn't agree more," Remus said, licking the last of the éclair from his lips.

They sat in silence for a while, both munching on snacks, hoping Madam Pince wouldn't discover what they were doing. The package of biscuits and eclairs soon disappeared, and Faye smiled as she wrapped the tissue and stuffed it in her pocket. Remus smiled back awkwardly.

Faye eyed him carefully as he reached for another book and began poring through it. "Remus," she finally said apprehensively. "Have you…given more thought to our…relationship?"

Remus stopped dead. He turned to look at her. "Faye, I don't – I mean - "

"You know," Faye fumbled. "Us."

"Of course I've thought about it," Remus said quietly. "And I already told you, I can't."

"Remus, I've already told you that I'm okay with you being a-a werewolf," she whispered.

"But I'm not," Remus said sadly. "Faye, I can't look at you without thinking what happened to your brother. I've already told you that too."

"That wasn't you!" she whispered fiercely.

"I know, but even so…" Remus trailed off.

"If I never got the chance to truly apologize for what happened down at the Shrieking Shack, I really am so sorry," Faye said, tears glittering in her eyes. "I didn't mean it, I was so shocked…so scared…"

"No, it wasn't -" Remus mumbled.

"How can I blame you?" she continued, lips trembling. "You didn't ask for this."

"No, but I -"

"I've missed you, and I want you back," she said, almost desperately.

"Please drop it," Remus said weakly, a pleading look in his eyes.

She bit her lip. "But I love you," Faye whispered.

"I love you too," Remus said quietly.

"Then why can't we be together?" Faye said, frustration clear in her voice.

Remus sighed. He didn't want to hurt her, but here he was, doing it. "We just can't," he finally said.

She stared at him for a while, as if telling him that his answer wasn't good enough. He stared right back into her eyes, and half expected her to walk out.

Just as he was about to return to his books to break the awkward staring contest, Faye threw herself forward and kissed him full on the mouth. Remus's eyes widened in shock; he wanted to pull away, but he found that his body wouldn't let him. That same passion that was there the first time they had kissed in the Hogsmeade forest with the leaves swirling around them was still there. In a wonderful moment, Remus saw her smiling face; in another, he saw her crying at the tunnel's entrance that night she had gone down there, saw her eyes widen in shock, saw her telling him that she was afraid…of him... Gathering all his strength, he pulled away.

She was looking at him, her eyes full of tears. Remus stood up clumsily, knocking the chair over. "I'm sorry," he croaked out.

Then, he turned on his heels and ran out of the library, down the corridor and up the stairs to the common room.

* * *

The Sunday afternoon was warm and the sun shone brightly over the Hogwarts grounds. The lake glittered, and the waves rippled gently. Students could be heard laughing, rightly knit in groups, snogging or playing Gobstones or a game of Wizard's Chess. Sirius sat alone on the bank of the lake, staring into nothingness, eyes dark and stormy, oblivious of his surroundings.

In the common room, Lily and Marcella were studying History of magic, but neither girl's mind was concentrated on schoolwork.

"Marci, are you okay?" Lily asked for the thousandth time, peering into her friend's face.

Marcella sighed, half exasperated, half amused. "Lily, honey, I've already told you that I'm fine, alright? Honestly, sometime I think you worry more about me that I worry about myself."

"I know," Lily said, picking at the edge of her book. "I'm still worried about you."

"Don't," Marcella said, laughing. "Daniel is great to me, and I'm very happy. I can't change what has already happened, Lily. I regret it, but I'm moving on, and you should too."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"Your fight with James is silly," Marcella said matter-of-factly.

"No, I don't think it is," Lily said hotly.

Marcella sighed. "Lily, he's right. You're being stubborn. He shouldn't have said what he said, but you did provoke him a bit. Actually, that's an understatement."

"But - " Lily sputtered.

"James was trying to do for Sirius what you were trying to do for me," Marcella said gently. "You two were both trying to be loyal friends."

"But that's different!" Lily exclaimed.

"Is it?" Marcella said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes!" Lily said.

Marcella shook her head, laughing. "It really isn't. Look, you two love each other. Don't let this get in the way of that, it would be stupid."

Lily's face crumpled. "Oh, you're right," she said grumpily. "Is this a bad sign, that we're fighting?"

"What do you mean?"

"We've never had a fight before," Lily said. "Does this mean we're not right for each other?"

Marcella sighed, though she was smiling. "One fight, especially over something like this, isn't going to ruin your relationship, alright? If anything, it'll probably make it better. Once you guys get over that first hurdle, I think it'll be for the better. You guys fought because you care for each other. If you didn't care, you wouldn't exert that effort."

Lily thought for a moment. "I suppose," she said finally. "What are you going to do about Sirius?'

"What about him?" Marcella said, shrugging. "I can't change his feelings. He's being an arse, but that's nothing new, is it. I'm not going to talk to him. And I urge that if you try to talk to him again, keep your temper. A third shouting match is not healthy for either of you."

"I was trying to protect you," Lily said softly.

Marcella smiled at her. "I know. But you know he's right; you really don't understand him."

Lily looked down at her book.

"I have to go, I have to meet Dan," Marcella said, stacking up her books. "I'll see you later, alright?"

"Sure," Lily said, and watched as Marcella headed out of the common room. As soon as she was gone, she shook her head. "I need a walk," she muttered to herself.

Abandoning her books in the common room, Lily headed out of the common room and descended floor by floor until she was out of the tower and onto the school grounds.

A Hufflepuff couple was snogging near the front entrance; Lily nearly tripped over them, but they didn't seem to notice. She swore under her breath as she strode into the beaming sunlight. She confiscated some inappropriate items from some fourth years, who scowled at her retreating back. Lily rolled her eyes.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sirius sitting alone by the lake, solitary, looking at nothing in particular. She teetered on the spot; should she go talk to him? Would he just leave? Gathering up her determination, she strode toward him and sat down beside him on the bank.

Sirius didn't look at her as she sat down, but his body tensed.

"Sirius," Lily said quietly.

"Evans," he mumbled.

"Are you okay?" she asked. He didn't answer.

"Okay, look," Lily began. Then she paused and couldn't think of anything to say.

Sirius picked up a flat pebble from near the root of a tree and threw it into the lake. The ripples caught sunlight in rings, and the rock skipped, flying like a thick frisbee through the air until it sank in the water.

Lily cleared her throat. Sirius paid her no attention.

"Look," Lily began again. "I'm really sorry…you know, about what happened the other day. I didn't mean to lose my temper, I was just trying to be a good friend."

Sirius didn't speak.

"I was just worried about Marcella," Lily plodded on.

Sirius shook his head. "Don't get into the same conversation we had before," he said roughly. "I don't need another screaming match. If you came here to curse me, go ahead, I'm not going to stop you."

Lily looked taken aback. "No, that's not why - "

"I'll say it again," Sirius said, cutting her off. "I hated breaking up with her, but for once I was thinking about someone else. If you don't believe me, I'm not going to go wasting my breath trying to convince you."

"No, really," Lily said desperately. "I didn't come down here to talk about Marci, I came down to talk with you."

Sirius gave a bitter laugh. "Really," he said. "Okay, talk."

Lily's throat was dry. "I talked with Marcella today -"

Finally, he turned to face her, and his countenance was full of anger. "I thought this wasn't about her," he said, voice shaking. "What else can I say to you? I care about her! You don't understand anything about me -"

"Please help me to understand," Lily said, looking straight into his eyes.

Sirius glared at her, and turned away again. "Where would you like me to start?" he said sarcastically.

"I - anywhere," Lily responded.

"I'll give you me in a nutshell," Sirius said. "My family hates me. They're pureblood supremacists. My brother is the same way as they are. I grew up with little love, and I don't understand it as well as James or you would. James's family has shown me what's its like to be loved."

Lily looked at him in shock. James had always defended his friend and told her that Sirius had a troubled past, but she never imagined something this harsh.

He sighed softly and focused his attention on a point across the lake. "I've hurt people, Lily," he said, slowly, deliberately, as if he was forcing every word out of his mouth. "I've hurt my only family many times; I've hurt Remus, James and Peter. Now I've hurt Marcella. It's bloody rough, knowing that the only people who have shown you love are the ones who suffer at your hand…but they forgave me. James, Remus and Peter forgave me every time, no matter how much of an idiot I was... I can't ask the same of her, not when it was intentional."

Eyes wide, Lily tried not to stare.

"I didn't think," he sighed. "I was caught up in the moment that night, and the consequences didn't matter. I didn't think it would turn out this way, but it did." He smiled ruefully. "Remus always tells me that I need to think before I act, but damn it, that's just not me." He picked up a pebble and chucked it as far as he could into the lake.

"I have to figure things out," Sirius said quietly after a moment. "It's not easy for me. You may think I'm cold and heartless. Fine. But as of right now, I'm still trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do with my life, and the people in it."

"Oh," Lily said, at a loss for words. She had never known Sirius, not like this. But she still didn't forgive him…

She studied his face carefully in the glow of the sun. It was the same face she had watched grow over the past seven years, but this time his eyes were sunk deeper, his jaw more lined. The boyish grin was gone, to be replaced by a troubled look etched in every part of his visage. And at that moment, she trusted him; it was a bit later than James, but he had changed. Lily felt a huge swell of emotion surge into her heart.

"It's your turn," Sirius said suddenly, looking her in the eye.

"W-What?" Lily stammered.

"Tell me about you," he said, giving her what she took to be a small smile. "It's only fair."

"Alright," Lily said, surprised. "What is there to say? I mean, I'm obviously different from you…and maybe James has already - but I suppose I can compare my sister to your parents."

"What, she's evil and sadistic?" Sirius said sarcastically.

Lily let out a small laugh. "Well, no," she said. "She hates magic though. I think she's jealous; she's been this way ever since…" she stopped, and did not bring up Snape's name. "Ever since I got my letter," she finished hastily.

Sirius did not seem to notice her uncomfortable tone. Instead, he looked at her sympathetically. "I'm sorry," he said honestly. "It must be hard for you…were you and your sister close?"

"Very," Lily answered sadly. "Were you and your brother close?"

"Very," Sirius said, giving her a smile.

They sat in silence, both staring aimlessly across the lake.

"Sirius, I really am sorry," Lily said presently. "I didn't mean the things I said. I had no right; I didn't even know where you were coming from. I believe you that you did the right thing."

"Thanks," Sirius said gratefully. "I'm sorry too, I lose my temper a lot. But seriously, Breaking up with her was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do."

"I believe you," Lily smiled.

They both watched as a small fish leaped out of the water and dived back in. The sun was sinking lower and lower into the faraway mountains. The water glowed gold, and Lily's eyes glittered with tears. Sirius simply looked into the setting sun.

"Is she happy?" he asked finally.

"I believe so," Lily said softly, turning to look at him.

Slowly, painfully, he nodded.

"You do love her," Lily whispered.

Sirius's eyes were unreadable in the glare of the sunlight.

* * *

The next night Lily had patrol with James. He greeted her at the bottom of the stairs of the girls' dormitory with a polite nod. Lily wasn't surprised; she wasn't expecting James to talk to her. She had finally realized that Marcella was right. Now that she understood Sirius better, she had an ego check; she didn't know everything. In fact, in this case, she had thrust herself into a situation that she knew little about.

Lily watched with pride as James handled the patrol perfectly; he handed out two detentions sternly but fairly to second years wandering in the halls after curfew. He saved both himself and Lily from another one of Peeves' practical jokes. Lily had tried many times during the patrol to speak, but somehow her tongue felt glued to her mouth.

As patrol was nearing the end, Lily finally gathered up her courage. "James," she said, taken aback by the hoarseness of her own voice.

"Yes?" James said politely, turning to her. His expression was hard.

"Oh, I don't know how to say this," Lily said, fumbling her words and wringing her hands.

He looked at her expectantly.

"I'm so sorry!" she finally blurted out.

Instantly, his face softened. "I'm sorry too," he said softly. "I never should have said what I said…"

Lily waved it away. "That doesn't matter," she said. "I was so stupid…I think it was a combination of stress and egotism on my part. Sirius was right, I made myself nose into everyone else's business, and I didn't even understand…"

"You were trying to protect your friend," James said reassuringly. "That's a good thing."

"But not the way I went about it," Lily sighed. "I was stubborn, and it caused me to not understand a complex person for years. Not that I completely understand him still...but it's a start."

James smiled a bit.

"And I know you care about your N.E.W.T.s, I don't know what made me say it, I was just so mad…" Lily plodded on.

"Hey, don't worry about it," James said.

"But I -"

"Lily, I just don't want you to have doubts about my wanting to build a future for us," James said, cutting her off. "I will do whatever it takes to take care of you, even if it means studying. Hell, I will collect rubbish for the rest of my life if that's what it takes."

Lily let out a shaky laugh. "I know," she said.

"I want us to be together," James said, drawing closer.

Lily's heart beat faster. "Do you really think we can make it?" she asked. "With all that's going on…"

"I believe in us," James said earnestly.

"I do too," Lily said. "But God, what if - "

"Shh," James said, putting a finger to her lips. "No doubts. Look at all we've already been through. I don't care about the war, because all of that disappears when I'm with you."

Lily thought she was going to melt as she looked into his hazel eyes. "You've made me the happiest girl on the planet this past year," she said, half-laughing. "If last year you had told me that I would be in this spot right now…"

"You would have cursed me," James said, laughing as well.

"James?" Lily said. She gathered up all the courage she never knew existed in her.

"Yeah?" James said softly.

"I love you," Lily whispered. It was the first time she had said it, though she had felt it for a long time. It felt so right; she knew that she did love him, and she knew that he felt the same way.

James looked surprised, but very pleased. "I love you too," James said, smiling. "I love you so much."

Lily beamed and threw herself at him.

Their lips touched; Lily wrapped her arms around his shoulders and James put his hands around her waist. James literally saw fireworks in front of his eyes, even though he knew it was just his imagination. Deeper and deeper they kissed, until Lily finally pulled away.

"We really should get going," she murmured. "It's past our curfew."

James looked quite dazed. "Yeah, I suppose," he said, grinning.

Lily smiled.

"Can we have another fight soon?" James said as they walked back up to the common room hand in hand.

"Why?" Lily asked, confused.

"So we can make up again," James said devilishly.

Lily laughed and punched him playfully on the shoulder. "You are the least subtle guy I have ever had the pleasure to kiss."

"Ah, but you liked it," James said, smiling.

"Maybe," Lily said, grinning, and ran up the stairs as fast as she could.

James laughed, and ran after her until they both disappeared into the common room.


	61. Dumbledore's Offer

A/N: Well guys, I have no viable excuse! I've been gone for way too long, and it's been the usual - school, getting into college, etc. But most of it was deciding whether or not I should continue this story. Some of the central points of the storyline had been changed due to Deathly Hallows, and on top of that, being in college is undoubtedly going to make it harder to find time to write. Would you believe me if I told you I actually worked on this chapter over the course of the entire year, bits at a time, never able to finish it? Well I did...and every time I loved it. I'm thus sticking to the story, to writing it, though updates may be rare. Again I apologize so much for the wait. I hope you will all bear with me, and I thank all of you so much for the support you've given me, the critiques, everything. My gratitude is immeasurable.

As for this chapter? Well I wanted to include more...but seeing as that would take another week of writing, I decided to post it as is. You may see stylistic changes in writing throughout! But this truly marks a turning point in the lives of these people, and I enjoyed relaying it immensely.

I will individually thank everybody when I have time! For now, I just have one huge thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing. Now, onto the fanfic!

* * *

_June, 1978_

* * *

Dumbledore's Offer

"Shit," Lily moaned.

"Profanity," Marcella laughed. "Lily, for the last time, calm down. You are not to going to fail everything, alright?"

"No, but what if I do?" Lily asked in a panicked voice. She looked slightly crazy as she turned the pages to her book so roughly that she ripped it. "Oh crap!" she squealed.

"Reparo," Marcella said firmly, pointing her wand at the book, and the page mended itself instantly. "Lily, stop. The exams start tomorrow. You know everything, you just need to calm down! I'm serious, or I'm taking your books away."

"No!" Lily gasped.

"Then stop it," Marcella said, suppressing another laugh.

At that moment, James came bursting through the portrait hole. "Hi," he said to Marcella as he briskly walked up, and placed a kiss on Lily's frazzled cheek. "Okay, let's go."

"Go?" Lily asked incredulously. "Go where?"  
"I can't believe you forgot!" Marcella exclaimed. "Lily, it's the last Quidditch game of the season, and we're playing against the Hufflepuffs for the cup!"

"Oh," Lily moaned. "Oh, right. Maybe I should stay and study…"

"Not happening," James said firmly. He tugged the book out of her hand and threw it across the room.

"Hey!" Lily said in protest. She attempted to move towards where the book had landed, but James held her back.

Just then, Remus burst in though the portrait hole as well. He had two pieces of toast in his hands, and handed one each to Lily and Marcella. "Eat," he said firmly. "It's not healthy to skip breakfast."

"Thanks," Marcella said gratefully, taking a bite.

"Remus, will you tell Lily that she has to go down to the Quidditch game?" James said. "She can't be holed up in here studying all day."

"Well I can't now, you threw my book away," Lily said sarcastically.

"Lily, you're going, okay?" Remus said firmly.

Lily looked around helplessly, obviously hoping someone would come to her aid. "Oh, alright," she finally said grumpily, taking a bite of her toast. "Fine. But if I fail all my exams, it's all your fault! All of it!"

James and Marcella laughed. "Deal," Marcella said.

Just then, Peter came in climbing through the portrait hole.

"Wormtail!" James exclaimed in greeting. "You ready to go down?"

"Oh. Right," he said, blushing a bit. "Well, actually, I'm not going to go down with you today, Remus, I hope that's okay."

"No problem," Remus shrugged. "Who are you going with?"

Peter blushed a deeper scarlet. "My new girlfriend," he mumbled hesitantly.

James beamed and slapped him on the shoulder. "That's great!" he said. "Finally getting over Lauren, right?"

Peter gave a weak smile.

"Good for you, Wormtail," Remus said, smiling. "Who's the lucky girl?"

By now, Peter had turned completely scarlet. "Um – I – someone," he stammered.

Marcella raised an eyebrow. James looked as if her was going to say something sarcastic, but Lily punched him on the arm before he could do so.

"Uh, right," James said instead. "Do you know her name?"

"Er, not really, don't remember," Peter mumbled. "Um, I have to go. I'll see you all later." With that, he turned and quickly sped out of the portrait hole.

James looked at the closing portrait, eyebrow raised. "Just when I thought he couldn't get any stupider…" he muttered, shaking his head.

Marcella laughed, and even Remus smiled hesitantly.

"Oh shut up," Lily said reproachfully. "It's exam time, and I'm sure he's very nervous. He's just frazzled."

"What, like you?" James said, grinning playfully.

Lily scowled. "You are lucky, James Potter, that I'm not cursing you right now. First you throw away my book…"

"Enough bickering!" Remus said sharply. "Honestly, we're all going to be late."

"Hold on, where's Sirius?" James asked, looking around. His friend was always there beside him before a game.

"He said he'd be in the stands," Remus said. "Now, let's move!"

Marcella marched out with a determined air about her. James was sure that the only reason Sirius didn't show up in the common room was because he didn't want to see Marcella and Daniel together. Well Sirius didn't know that Daniel was already in the changing room, getting ready for the game.

"Alright, you two go," Remus said firmly as they hurried along the castle. "I'll make sure Lily gets to the game."

James grinned at his friend. "You're the best, Moony."

Lily scowled again at James, but he grinned at her, and hurried out of sight with Marcella.

"What were you two doing?" Amber almost screamed as James and Marcella burst into the room.

"Sorry, we got caught up," Marcella said as Daniel placed a kiss on her cheek.

"We were getting worried," Michael said. Balin nodded.

"We're here now," James said grinning. "Come on, everyone, gather around."

"James, we only have a few minutes - " Perry said in protest.

"It'll be quick," James promised. He gathered his breath and waited for a circle to form.

"As you all know, this is my final year at Hogwarts," he said, looking around at the familiar faces gathered about him. "I don't want to get mushy or sentimental, but I've been on the team since my second year. I've watched familiar faces go, and fresh ones come in."

All their attention was upon him; he drew in a shaky breath. "Quidditch is so special to me," he said. "I have lived for it, and it has been a comfort whether I was getting into detentions or having McGonagall yell at me. I look forward to practices, no matter how much it may be raining or snowing. This year, I am certain that we have the best team there possibly can be."

He smiled out at his teammates. "Of course I want to beat Hufflepuff today, but in the long run that doesn't matter to me. I have no doubts we can win. I just want us…all of us…to fly out there as a team. One last time. No matter the results. Just as a solid, Gryffindor team, which I am so proud to be captain of."

The room burst into cheers. Marcella shot him a beaming smile. "Now let's go win that Quidditch Cup!" James roared. The seven players mounted their brooms, and at the signal, kicked off into the air.

It was exhilarating, as always, but James felt something special this time around. As the wind whipped in his face, he turned to look at the Gryffindor stands, and felt his heart soar. He saw Remus, roaring and stamping his feet as James had never seen him roar. He saw Sirius, who was beaming and waving a gigantic banner, which said "Potter Rocks" in giant red letters, with a rather messy animated drawing of a lion chasing off a badger. Then, he saw a blur of red; Lily was on her feet screaming and cheering as hard as she could, all thoughts of exams apparently completely forgotten.

James was so dazed he nearly collided with a Hufflepuff Chaser before the game even began.

"This is for the Quidditch Cup," Madam Hooch was saying as James moved into position. "As always, I want a clean, fair game. Since both teams are deadlocked in points, it is winner-take-all. Good luck."

She released the snitch; James tried to follow it with his eyes, but it zoomed out of sight.

Madam Hooch then threw the Quaffle into the air and flew out of the way. "Let's go!" James yelled into the air as Marcella zoomed by him.

As he circled higher into the air, he caught a glimpse of Balin catching the Quaffle. "Yes," he said to himself. There was no sign of the snitch; the Hufflepuff seeker was also circling. He hadn't seen anything either.

A bludger hit by a Hufflepuff beater narrowly missed him. He saw Daniel zoom out of nowhere and whack the bludger as hard as he could toward a Hufflepuff chaser, who was forced to fly out of the way. In the momentary distraction, Marcella had intercepted his throw, and was now in possession of the Quaffle.

After a while of play, James zoomed back down to weave his way through the players, looking for the snitch. Suddenly, he thought he say a flick of gold; he turned quickly, but was forced to make a sharp dive to avoid a bludger that had been hit at him. As he regained his balance, he swore under his breath. The snitch was nowhere to be seen. The only good news was that the Hufflepuff seeker had not seen it.

"Gryffindor leads, 70 to 50!" the commentator was shouting. James heard the red-and-gold clad supporters cheer loudly.

Suddenly, he saw it, and apparently everyone else did too. The snitch zoomed right by a group of chasers who were trying to intercept and pass the Quaffle. Most of them stopped to watch. James sped toward it, heart pounding loudly. He could feel the adrenaline rush.

From the opposite end of the Quidditch pitch the Hufflepuff seeker also flew toward the snitch. He and James were going at relatively equal rates, equal distance from the snitch, which was moving neither to him or James, but zooming up. James directed the end of his broomstick as far up as possible, as did the Hufflepuff seeker.

They were so close that James feared a collision, but suddenly, the snitch did a nose-dive and zoomed directly downward.

"Shit," James thought, teeth gritted. He weighed his options in a millisecond; he could either continue going up and circle back down, or he could perform a dangerous dive that could throw him off his broom.

He dived. The end of his broomstick, which was before pointing directly up, now pointed directly down. He almost slid off his broom in the front, but he clutched on tight. The Hufflepuff seeker did not want to take that risk; he continued flying upward.

James's eyes were watering, even through his glasses, as he forced himself not to take his eyes off the tiny, glittering ball. He knew he was gaining. Out of nowhere, a bludger rammed past him; he dodged it by mere centimeters. He was back into play now; his team was leading by 80 points, and if the Hufflepuff seeker caught the snitch they'd lose…

A second bludger pelted right at him, and this time he wasn't so lucky; it smashed his arm, and he knew his wrist was extremely hurt, if not broken. Eyes watering, he kept flying, gaining on the snitch with every second, and holding on to his broom through the blinding pain.

In the distance, he heard someone hit the bludger away from him. He heard cheers as someone scored. But he was concentrated on this one moment…he reached out his unbroken hand…

The crowd erupted into the loudest cheers James had ever heard. Perhaps it was just his perception, but he beamed as no person ever beamed as he held up the snitch in his functioning hand. "YOU DID IT!" Marcella screamed, pelting at him. He watched her throw away the Quaffle in celebration.

"No, we did it!" James roared, laughing and crying out of both happiness and pain. He landed lightly on the ground. The swarm of Gryffindors mobbed him, and mobbed the team, carrying them on their shoulders. James saw McGonagall smiling and clapping, and saw his friends screaming in joy.

He believed it was one of the best moments of his life.

* * *

"You were wonderful!" Lily squealed, almost tackling him as he came out of the hospital with a completely healed wrist that was mended in a second by Madam Pomfrey.

"Thank you, thank you very much," James said, grinning. "I'll be here all day, folks." He gave Lily a huge hug.

Remus laughed. "I'm presuming there's a party in the common room?"

"Likely," Marcella said, smiling. She and Daniel were holding hands. It was therefore no surprise that Sirius was nowhere to be found.

In jolly spirits, the group made its way up to the common room. As soon as the portrait swung open, there was a giant, bellowing roar, and James was immediately engulfed in a sea of red and gold clad supporters. Marcella was screaming loudly, Sirius was roaring, apparently tipsy from firewhiskey, Remus was laughing abnormally loudly while exchanging conversation with Faye, who had come to celebrate Gryffindor's victory, and Lily was completely uninhibited, all thoughts of exams apparently completely forgotten.

"James!" she screamed, laughing as someone poured her another bottle of firewhiskey. "Come over here and dance with me!"

Some one had turned on the magically modified radio to full blast, and now the entire common room was booming with rock songs. "This is more like it!" Sirius roared, raising his bottle and spilling butterbeer all over. He grabbed a hold of Mary MacDonald's hand, and the two disappeared into the bobbing swarm.

Remus looked at the scene with amusement, and wondered mildly where Peter was, but that thought was pushed out of his head when Faye gently touched his arm. "Want to dance?" she asked, eyes twinkling. Remus knew that it wasn't a demand, and that he could say no and everything would be okay. But he didn't say no. She smiled encouragingly up at him and led him to the middle of the common room where the rest of the House was enthusiastically partying.

Lily was about to head on to the dance area with James when a fifth year girl came rampaging down the stairs, eyes narrowed. "Will you all keep it down?" she snapped at Lily. "Our O.W.L.'s are coming up too!"

"Oh, get a grip," Lily said loudly, rolling her eyes.

The girl looked taken aback. "You're Head Girl!" she said angrily. "Can't you do something?"

"Oh, let us have a little fun," Lily said merrily. "Just go upstairs and cast a charm or something."

"Lily," James began, a little shocked at her behavior.

"No, it's fine," the girl huffed and began to head back toward the stairs. "I hope you have a nice day."

"You too!" Lily said, giggling.

"Lily!" James said sharply.

"Yes?" Lily said innocently.

"What is wrong with you? Are you drunk?" James said, brows furrowed.

"No, just a little," Lily said, grinning. "But come on James, dance with me."

"But - " James started.

"No buts. You wanted me to have some fun, right? So dance with me." She dragged him coyly out onto the dance area.

It was midnight, and the party was still going on strong. Sirius and Mary had headed off somewhere, and were nowhere to be found. Remus and Faye were chatting gaily on the couches. Marcella and Daniel were snuggling by the fireplace. James and Lily were still on the dance area, staring so passionately into each other's eyes and their arms and legs so entwined it seemed easier to identify them as one entity.

By three o'clock in the morning, a vast majority of the Gryffindors had gone back up to their common rooms, yawning. Lily's energy from the firewhiskey had completely petered out, and now she was stirring feebly on the couch, her head on James's lap. He stroked her hair gently while she slowly fell asleep.

"James, go to sleep," Remus said wearily, performing charms to clean up the common room so the elves weren't completely overwhelmed.

"I can't," James said sleepily. "Lily needs to sleep, and I can't afford to wake her up. I can't carry her upstairs either, or the stairs will turn into that slide thing, and I'm not quite sure where Marcella is."

"James, please just go to bed," Remus moaned. "We have our N.E.W.T.'s tomorrow, and I swear to you that if you sleep like this lolling on the couch you'll be completely uncomfortable. If you just lay Lily down on the couch she'll be fine."

"No, I'll be fine," James said stubbornly.

Remus sighed. "I admire the gallantry, mate."

"What are you talking about?" James said, smiling sleepily. "I saw you and Faye swaying on that dance floor."

Remus flushed. "Prongs, you know perfectly well-"

"Yeah, yeah, just friends, I know," James said, brushing the comment away with his hand. "If you're sure."

Remus went up to bed without another word as James smiled to himself. He slowly fell asleep, his hand in Lily's hair.

* * *

"Mate, wake up!"

James stirred. Sirius was impatiently prodding him with his finger. "Wake the bloody hell up!" he roared.

James and Lily simultaneously shot up on the couch. "Ow!" James said as he massaged a crick in his neck.

"What the hell was that for?" Lily shouted at Sirius, obviously in a cranky mood. Her hair stuck up all over the place, and there were bags under her eyes.

"To get you up," Sirius said, half-amused, half-exasperated. "Or did you forget that our N.E.W.T.'s start today?"

Lily sprung up, eyes bulging like dragon eggs. "Oh no, oh no, no!" she moaned hysterically. "No! I haven't studied yet today! James, where did you throw my book? Ugh, I look like a mess!"

Suddenly, Lily swayed a bit on the spot. Sirius caught her by the shoulders and steadied her.

"Are you okay?" James asked.

"Too…much…firewhiskey," she said, looking a little sick.

James and Sirius exchanged a look, and burst out into laughter.

Lily glared at both of them. "Fine, laugh at my expense," she snapped. "Where is my Transfiguration book? Ugh!" In a storm, she stomped up the stairs.

Sirius raised an eyebrow and cracked a smile. "Excitable little girl you've got there," he said, grinning.

"I know, isn't she great?" James said, laughing. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, then ran his hand through his hair.

"I've almost forgotten that annoying habit," Sirius mused. "Let's go down to breakfast, Moony and Wormtail are waiting for us there."

James looked up at the stairs to the girls' dormitory.

"She'll be fine," Sirius said, as if he was reading James's mind. "Lily will come down with Marcella, I know she's still up there." There was a slight swallow in his voice as he mentioned Marcella's name.

James shrugged and followed Sirius out of the portrait hole.

Down in the great hall, there was a great deal of chatter among the Seventh Years, most of whom were muttering spells under their breath or reading books with a panicked look. Peter looked extremely close to tears, while Remus was patiently explaining to him a concept in Transfiguration.

"Hey Moony, Wormtail," Sirius said in greeting as he and James sat down on the bench.

"Hey," Peter said feebly. James thought he looked pale and a bit sick.

"Anything wrong?" James asked. "We missed you last night."

"Yeah, I was studying," Peter said. "For the exams today, you know."

"Well that makes one of us," Sirius said, laughing. "I'm pretty sure the rest of us didn't study too much."

"Yeah," Peter said, a little uncomfortably.

"Eat," Remus said, shoving a piece of toast under James's nose. He took it sleepily.

"Thanks mum," Sirius quipped as Remus handed him one too.

Remus rolled his eyes, but smiled.

"Ah, there you are!" Sirius said, beaming, as Lily stalked up to them, looking extremely grumpy and carrying 7 books under her arms. She shot him a glare.

James attempted to give her a kiss on the cheek, but she smacked him on the arm with her book.

"Ow!" James protested.

"It's exam day!" she hissed. "Study!" She immediately took out the largest book in the pile and flipped to a random page. "Test me," she ordered.

James sighed good-naturedly. "Alright. Give me the spell for turning an owl into opera-glasses."

"I know this!" Lily said, and roughly grabbed the book out of his hands.

James looked helplessly at Sirius, arms smarting. Sirius shook his head. "Women," he muttered.

"I heard that," Lily snapped.

Remus smiled, amused. "Don't bite," he said. "Let's just get through this."

Sirius was about to make a comment about biting when James kicked him with a choose-another-time-to-be-witty kind of look.

They were ushered out of the Great Hall after breakfast time, as they were reconfiguring the Hall for exams. The group headed up to the common room. James and Sirius were practicing human transfiguration spells with each other, each trying to make the other look as ridiculous as possible. Lily looked on the verge of laughter, but also on the verge of hysterics. Peter was reading the books with a sort of glossy look in his eyes while Remus explained concepts to him in practical terms.

"Hey Wormtail," Sirius laughed after hitting Peter with a spell that made him grow a bright blonde beard. "I think that's a good look for you."

Peter laughed weakly. "Definitely," he smiled.

In no time at all, they headed down to the Great Hall again to sit their first N.E.W.T. examination. Lily looked panicked, James looked amused, Sirius looked bored, Peter was pale, and Remus looked determined. The hours seemed to pass by slowly after they sat down. Afterwards, many students muttered and complained of a headache as they left.

"That was okay, wasn't it?' Lily said cheerfully as they headed out onto the grounds.

"I take it you thought it was easy?" Remus laughed.

"Better than I thought," Lily grinned. "I'm pretty sure I passed."

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter exchanged looks of relief. They all knew that Lily was impossible to live with after a bad exam.

After the first written test, the students took the practical Transfiguration part, which Sirius thought was amusing. He was supposed to turn a rabbit into a pair of slippers, but decided that he would rather turn it into a pair of giant, black monster slippers that snapped its jaw at the examiner, who panicked and blew them up into tiny pieces.

The rest of the week seemed to pass in a blur. Day after day of exams assaulted the seventh years, and yet, after the week was done, no one seemed to be in a bad mood. In fact, celebrations could be heard all around Hogwarts – a couple of courageous Hufflepuff seventh years went streaking across the grounds. Miraculously, none of them got into any sort of trouble.

"It's over," Lily sighed happily as they walked out of the exams for the last time. "Done, completely done. We will never have to go through that ever again."

"Yeah," Remus said, with a sad little smile on his face.

"I know you'll miss the exams, Moony, but think of the rest of us!" Sirius said jokingly.

"Oh shut up," Remus laughed. "I'm just as glad as you are the exams are over, but sad because we won't be going through this together, ever again."

"Remus, you're going to make me cry," Faye said, slipping her arm through his.

"Stop with the depressing stuff," James said. "It's the end of our seventh year, and we'll be graduating shortly. We have our entire futures ahead of us to look forward to, isn't that something?"

"Well, that's the optimist point of view," Sirius said, and everyone laughed.

No one voiced the uncertainties, and no one voiced the ever-present fear chilling all their hopes – that Voldemort and the Death Eaters were looming outside the castle doors. There would be no protection, no comfortable home and dinner waiting for them. They would finally be on their own.

* * *

The last couple of days of school were both exciting and chaotic. For one, the day before the graduation ceremony, Remus had his last full moon at the school.

"I can't ask you guys to come with me," Remus said that day.

"Why?" Peter asked.

"It's graduation the next day!" Remus exclaimed. "Honestly, it's the proudest moment of our lives thus far, and I cannot make you all bruised and bloody during the ceremony and the dance afterwards, it would not be right."

"Don't be stupid," Sirius said shortly. "We're coming."

"But - " Remus started.

"You think we'd leave you alone? It's legacy, Moony," James said. "It's our last full moon together. We're going to make it count."

Peter nodded.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Sirius grinned.

"There's no place we'd rather be," James said, smiling.

So, with that, the Marauders went down the hole for the very last time. Remus stood at the couch, tears welling in his eyes, looking into the faces of his three best friends who stood side by side in front of him, muscles tensed, waiting for his transformation to begin. He couldn't even remember full moons without them.

Sirius stood there, and remembered the very first time that he had made it down this hole, how upset and angry Remus was, and how utterly terrified he felt. They had come a long way since then, and Sirius had come a long way too. He had learned more than he knew from Remus – how to accept, how to apologize, and how to really care.

It was one of the mildest full moon nights they ever had. Remus seemed to control the wolf within the first ten minutes, and knew that as long as he didn't see the full moon or smell blood, it would be a tranquil night. The four friends sat and explored the Shrieking Shack, every nook and cranny, for what they knew would be the last time.

And when the sun rose, they quietly returned to human form. Aside from a couple of scratches, James and Sirius were unharmed.

"Time to go," James whispered as he heard pattering footsteps and the freezing of the tree branches outside. He headed upstairs with Sirius and Peter to retrieve the cloak.

"Thank you," Remus said hoarsely as they stood at the top of the stairs.

They just smiled at him, and Remus knew they would gladly go through it a million times more. He smiled as he pretended to fall asleep.

* * *

Lily came into the boys' dorm as James was packing up his trunk. "Hey you," she said, smiling sleepily.

James looked up at her in her nightgown and laughed. "A little early, are we?"

"Slightly," she yawned. "But I wanted to say good morning."

"What's on your mind?" James asked.

"Oh, I don't know," Lily said, sitting down next to him. "Separation anxiety, really."

"From Hogwarts?" James asked.

"I suppose," Lily smiled. "The people, the food, the secret passages, everything. I feel silly."

"Don't, I feel the same," James said reassuringly.

"And, you know, on top of that, I'm terrified," Lily said. "Of the world, you know? We've been so sheltered – Dumbledore and Hogwarts and this magical protected place. But what's going to happen to us? What's going to happen to our friends? I don't only mean the physical dangers we're going to be in. I mean the emotional…will we still be so close, or will we go our separate ways? I'm uncertain. And that scares the bloody living hell out of me."

James smiled sadly at her. "Nothing's going to be the same," he said gently. "But this…us going out into the real world…it scares everyone. Our lives can be cut so short – it could be the end every day. So let's take each day as an absolute wonder, and just make the best of everything."

Lily looked down at her hands, which were folded up in her lap. "What about us?" she asked quietly.

James stopped folding his socks and took her hands. "I love you," he said steadily. "I may not know where we're going and what we're doing when we get there, but we'll figure it out."

Lily sat quietly, her hands in his. "Thank you," she finally smiled.

They sat together, watching the sunrise for a while. Lily rested her head on his shoulder while he held her hand.

"Well what is this?" a voice came from the door. Remus strode in, Sirius by his side. They were both grinning.

"Nothing too risky, you two," Sirius said seriously. "We are on sacred ground. You wouldn't want Dumbledore to revoke your graduation diploma because of inappropriate behavior, would you?"

"Oh shut up," James scowled.

"Finished packing?" Remus asked.

"Yep," James grinned. "Out from the hospital wing so early? Half an hour is a new record."

"Hmm, fitting," Remus laughed. "I've never felt better."

Sirius clapped him on the back.

"Actually, we came in because Dumbledore said he wanted to see all of us," Remus said. "We ran into McGonagall on the way back to the common room."

"What would he want to see us for?" Lily said, brows furrowed. "Graduation is this afternoon."

"It's not only us, it's also Marcella, Peter, two Hufflepuffs, and three Ravenclaws," Remus explained. "Or so she told us."

James shifted through his mind for a moment. Suddenly, the end of his third year flashed vaguely to mind. What was that Emmeline Vance had told him right before she left school? He racked his brain. "Every year it seems, Dumbledore asks a number of students into a secret society. The number apparently varies; some years seem to have many worthy students, some years none. The society is called the Order of the Pheonix," she had said.

"We're the new recruits," James said quietly.

Instantly, Sirius shot up, a gleam coming into his eyes. He and Remus remembered when James had come running up to the dormitory with Emmeline's information. "Yes!" he said triumphantly. "Finally!"

"Not so loud," James said, still deep in thought.

"Recruits for what?" Lily asked slowly, confused.

"You'll find out soon enough," Remus said. "Come on, we have to go, McGonagall said to meet him in his office as soon as we could."

"Wait!" Lily said.

"Why?" James said.

"I'm in my nightgown!" She said crossly and rushed back up to her room. Sirius shot James a look and they burst out laughing.

When she came back down, the group set out. They saw Peter along the way, and he too had received the message from a third year. He thus joined them. They entered his office and found him sitting behind his desk, a twinkle in his eye. Already present were two Hufflepuffs and one Ravenclaw, all of whom Remus recognized as good students and good people, two of whom were prefects settled on a couch. He, James and Lily smiled at them.

"Welcome," Dumbledore said warmly. "Please, make yourselves comfortable." He pointed to several empty comfortable-looking couches that were not there before; no doubt he had conjured them for the meeting. "It's a bit tight in here but I do believe we shall manage."

James and Lily settled down on one couch, while Remus and Sirius settled on another. There were several minutes of small talk and chatting between everyone there. The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaw looked quite baffled on the reasons of being there.

"I hope I'm not late," a breathless voice said. Sirius turned to see Marcella rush through the entrance, face flushed as she stepped off the spiral staircase. "I came here as soon as I got the message."

"Ms. Greenwald," Dumbledore nodded in welcome. "Thank you for coming."

"No problem," Marcella said, smiling. She sat down next to Lily on a couch.

"Hey, how are you?" Lily asked her friend.

"Good," she said, blushing. "I just spent the morning with Dan."

James, who heard the interchange, stole a quick glance at Sirius, and saw in a twitch in his jaw that he had heard Marcella too.

"We are just waiting for two more," Dumbledore said calmly from his chair. "I thank you all for your patience."

"Do you know why we're here?" Marcella whispered to Lily.

"I have a vague idea," Lily said quietly. "But I think we'll find out soon enough."

They heard the spiral staircase move, and out of the entranceway stepped a Ravenclaw girl and Faye. Remus turned white when he saw her, especially after the outcome of their last meeting.

"Sorry for the delay," the Ravenclaw girl said.

"Not a problem, Ms. Pollini," Dumbledore said kindly. "Will you and Ms. Taten please sit?"

Faye and her companion sat next to Remus and Sirius.

"I thank you all again for coming," Dumbledore said, smiling. "The subject I am about to discuss with you is very serious, and very private – I daresay in the wizarding world's current situation, however, nothing should surprise you any more."

Sirius let out a sarcastic chuckle, while all the Ravenclaws looked positively alarmed.

"Without sounding too grim, you may have noticed the constant reports of death, of Voldemort's influence spreading. Some of you, I am sure, have felt the effects of this personally."

Many people in the room shuddered or twitched at this statement.

"I have called you all in here to assure you that you are the best and brightest of this year's graduating class. I would have called in two students from the underrepresented House of Slytherin had not my colleagues assured me they would want nothing to do with what I am about to propose."

Remus sat up a little straighter; one Hufflepuff looked completely baffled and terrified.

"There is an organization, led by myself, created by myself, that works to protect all people, muggles and wizards alike, from Voldemort's onslaught. I come to you with a proposal to join the Order of the Phoenix as recruits."

Several people looked shell-shocked.

"Sir, Professor Dumbledore," Faye's companion spoke up.

"Yes?" he said, turning to her.

"Isn't the Ministry supposed to take care of…you know, the death eaters and them?" she asked hesitatingly.

"Ah, how right you are! Unfortunately, the ministry is too much of a political organization to be able to give aid quickly and when necessary. I guarantee you the Order has within its members a diverse group of people, some of whom work within the ministry. We provide an aid, if you will, to the ministry's efforts."

The group sat silently.

"So that's it then?" Sirius said, smiling eagerly, breaking the silence. "Okay! Where do I sign up?"

"Yeah, me too," one Hufflepuff girl spoke up.

"Not so fast," Dumbledore said mildly. "I have yet to go over the most important parts of this meeting, which will undoubtedly change some of your minds."

Lily shifted in her seat and gripped James' hand.

"I am about to tell you up front about the dangers of joining the Order. Voldemort and his supporters are aware of the Order – they will try to kill you, just as with any Aurors they meet." He looked around the room seriously. "You will be in serious danger if you join with the Order. We will ask you to be in situations you do not want to be in."

Several people who before had gleams of glory in their eyes now looked doubtful.

"The Order is a group of dedicated people who do not seek glory," Dumbledore continued, as if guessing what some were thinking. "We do our job, we hopefully prevent innocent people from being harmed, and then we remove ourselves from the scene. Though there are several very successful people working in the ministry as well as in the order, that is because of our connections with the ministry. Otherwise, it would be hard, though not impossible to attain another job of your own. Thus, your income may be low, though of course the Order will provide lodgings at headquarters should you wish."

The room was silent as he talked.

"Again I shall reiterate the most important point. You will be in danger. Your families and friends may be in danger. These are the consequences. These are all things to think about." He paused for a moment. "I have just pressed upon you all a great deal of information to take in, and a hard decision to make. You have until this afternoon, after graduation and the ceremonial ball."

At this, Faye asked, "Sir, what if we aren't sure by then?"

"Go with your instinct," Dumbledore said, smiling. "I beg all of you not to repeat anything that has been said at this meeting to anybody – for the good of the Order, and for the safety of yourselves. I put all my trust in each and every one of you."

They all nodded.

"Now. This evening, should I say, when you all return, I will have pieces of parchments for all of you to sign. The parchment is binding. By signing it, you will officially be inducted into the Order, and shall meet us at headquarters when you get the message to. If you should not choose to sign, then I wish you the best of luck in the future, and, I will put a memory charm on you. If at any time you should choose to leave the Order, that also can be arranged. Does everybody understand?"

They all nodded again.

"I shall not delay you from the graduation ceremony any longer," he said, smiling. "I myself need to be there! Go on, all of you, and think carefully. I will not think bad of you at all should you wish not to join."

A bit dumbfounded, everybody got up from their couches and stepped onto the spiral staircase.

"So what do you think?" Peter asked as they entered the hallway.

"Of course I'm joining!" Sirius said. "What, ever since James told me - "

"Shhhhh!" James said, frowning.

"I've wanted this for so long," Sirius said, lowering his voice. "To fight, to prove myself, and to finally be able to make the people who have been doing so much wrong pay for what they've done."

"You heard what Dumbledore said," Faye said, catching up to them. Remus' ears turned red. "You, your family, will be in danger."

"Because I have so much family to lose," Sirius said with a crooked smile.

"Are you joining?" Lily asked Marcella.

"It's a lot to think about," Marcella sighed.

"Well I'm joining," James said, smiling. "Both my parents are in the Order – or at least they're familiar with it, and they would never let me live it down if I didn't."

Remus chuckled.

"What about you, Moony?" Peter asked eagerly.

"I'm at a 60 percent yes right now," Remus said carefully.

"What?" Sirius yelped.

"It's a lot to think about," Remus said, laughing at his reaction. "And excuse my not being brazen and ready to start a flaming riot at every second like you, Padfoot."

"Wormtail, are you joining?" James asked.

"I'm going to think about it too," Peter said.

Deep in thought, the group walked toward the Great Hall for the graduation ceremony. James knew that the hopeful yet ominous meeting with Dumbledore, the prospect of the Order, and everything was just a preparation for what lies beyond Hogwart's doors – was a taste of what the world, the war, would be like.


	62. The End of an Era, Part I

A/N: I can't believe the chapter has not ended yet! I intended originally to write "The End of an Era" into one chapter...and now it looks like it will be extended into three chapters. The third part will likely be very short though, so look to have that finished in about a week.

About this chapter. It was originally going to wrap it up, but somehow veered into relationship-zone, so be forewarned! (A correction has been added - thanks to Siriute for pointing it out! And some changes have been made since the original update.)

Thank you again so much to everyone that has stuck with me, and to this story! You are all amazing! Personal thanks to HoMeSlIcE4LiFe, angsty-otaku, Brona, wolfygirl58, Phanthom, chocoluvr, Nina Alloway, and Reggae Groove! Y'all rock :D

Update: I decided to change the name of Part I, so this chapter is now Part I. Sorry for any confusion!

* * *

_June, 1978_

* * *

The End of an Era, Part I

The Great Hall looked spectacular for the Graduation ceremony. Banners hung from the ceilings, glitter and intricate details adorned the walls. The number _1978_ appeared in a giant floating wreath-like object, switching colors constantly to represent the four Houses, right above the podium in the front of the hall, now cleared of the teachers' dining tables. Chairs were lined up in a row, set on a floor that elevated the further back from the podium it was, quite like an auditorium.

It wasn't until they almost reached the Great Hall that the group realized that none of them were in their graduation robes, and thus, all quickly ran back up to their respective dormitories. They straggled into the Great Hall, one by one, faces flushed. The ceremony had not started yet, but there was a surprise waiting for them.

"Mum!" James roared. "Dad!" He ran straight to them and gave them both a giant hug. He then grabbed Sirius by the shoulders and practically pushed him into the hug as well.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Potter," Sirius said, slightly embarrassed, but grinning all the same.

"How are you, Sirius?" Mrs. Potter asked warmly.

"I'm getting along," Sirius said, smiling.

"After you graduate you are most welcome at our house any time," Mr. Potter said.

"Thank you," Sirius said, sincerely grateful. "But I think over the past years I have trespassed on your hospitality long enough. My uncle Alphard left me some five thousand galleons in his will – I think I'm going to seek out a flat in London."

James was startled by this proclamation. "Wow, mate! You never told me any of this." He wasn't offended so much as proud of his friend.

"It's been in development phase for a while," Sirius said, letting out a bark-like laugh. "I've also been thinking about getting a motorcycle, for transport reasons. What d'you think of that, mate?"

James looked startled. "No apparition?"

"You know I hate apparition," Sirius said. He still held a grudge against not passing the test his first time around. "No, it seems more convenient for the muggle world, to get around, you know. Plus I heard motorcycles are very stylish now."

"Right," James said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Sirius laughed. "I knew you'd approve."

"It may be too early to warn you boys now, but I really want you to be careful," Mrs. Potter said anxiously. "Once you two graduate all your witty pranks may not seem so well-received by the wizarding world."

"Oh mum," James sighed, smiling. "We'll be fine. We promise not to do anything stupid, alright?"

Mrs. Potter smiled and wiped a tear from her eyes. She and her husband looked quite older than when Sirius first remembered seeing them – the wrinkles around their eyes were pronounced, and their skin color was pale and listless. Despite all this, they looked proud and happy. Sirius could not help but smile.

Elsewhere in the Great Hall, Lily had spotted her parents as well, though Petunia was nowhere to be seen. "Mum! Dad!" she squealed, launching herself at them.

"Lily, dear!" Mrs. Evans said, beaming. They looked a bit out of place in the Great Hall, but they also looked very proud.

"So I'm guessing Petunia couldn't make it?" Lily said airily.

"No, she had work to do," Mr. Evans said, trying to make his answer sound as nonchalant as possible.

"Ah," Lily said, nodding. There was an awkward pause. To try to placate the moment, Lily found Marcella's arm and dragged her in front of her family.

"Hi!" Marcella said, sounding surprised. She shot Lily a confused look.

"Marcella! How are you?" Mrs. Evans asked, smiling.

"Great," she replied, beaming. "Have you met my father and brother?" She motioned to her father, who immediately came over with a little boy beside him. Mr. Greenwald was a tall, medium-built man who was amiable, who Lily had met several times. And yet Lily was sure he was still not over the loss of his wife and other daughter. He was looking at Marcella like she was the last jewel on the planet – almost like she was all that was left of his family.

Marcella herself had traces of sadness in her eyes as she looked at Mrs. Evans, especially. Lily knew she was wondering what it would have been like to have her mother here.

"Thank you all for coming," a loud voice said over the babble of the excited students and parents. The Great Hall instantly quieted down as a magically vocally magnified Dumbledore took the stage.

"I ask all the parents, guardians and spectators – in short, anyone not graduating today, to take their seats. Students, please also take your seats in the front."

There was a shuffle as everyone slipped into his or her seats.

"Thank you," Dumbeldore said, smiling as everyone quieted down again. "I say this every year, but I do mean it – I am so very proud of this graduating class."

Applause rang out.

Dumbledore bowed. "These young people have a tremendous amount of talent," he continued as the applause died down. "I have watched them grow over the past seven years, some more personally than others. There are no words to describe their caliber of strength, intelligence, and wit; at times, I am sure, these same qualities drove our staff to insanity."

Several people laughed appreciatively in the audience.

"I can honestly say that I could not be more proud," Dumbledore said, smiling. "They have earned the right to live outside of these castle walls as adults, as graduates of Hogwarts. I am sure they will all make a lasting impression on our world, and beyond."

There was a huge round of applause. Several people stood up.

"Now," Dumbledore said, quieting the applause with a wave of his hand. "I have asked the Head Boy and Girl to make a speech. Let's see if they have had time to prepare anything. Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans, I welcome you both to the stage."

Again, applause rang out, and Sirius, who was sitting next to Remus, exchanged a look of surprise. James had not informed him of this speech – then again, so many things had happened in the past few weeks that it could simply have slipped his mind.

Lily and James came up to the podium together. "Hello everyone," Lily said. Both she and James had magnified their voices as they came up. "James and I both somewhat rehearsed a speech – unfortunately, we do not have it written. So, uh, we're just going improvise."

"She means we're going to speak from the heart," James chipped in. Everyone laughed.

"Yes, thank you," Lily said, trying to glare at him, but couldn't help smiling. "Perhaps James is just one example of what Hogwarts means to me. When I first stepped on that train to come to Hogwarts, I had no idea how much I would learn, how much I would enjoy being here, and what great, terrific friends I would make here."

"I think 'friend' is an understatement," Sirius' distinct voice rang out from the crowd. Many people laughed appreciatively.

Lily blushed to the roots of her hair. She pretended not to hear. "What I mean is, this castle has been the best of comforts to me. Whatever problems I'm having, there is always someone here, whether it be a fellow student, or a professor, to help me with my problems. I don't know one person who doesn't love it at Hogwarts – I myself wake up every day and think of just how lucky I am. This castle will always be in my heart as home."

She held back a tear; James found her hand and held it under the podium. "We're stepping into our futures now," she said, eyes glittering. "And I know, with all my heart, that each and every one of us has something great to offer. So thank you, Hogwarts. Thank you professors, caretakers, nurses, and creatures, parents. Thank you for the education, your patience, and love. But most of all, I thank the friends, the peers, who have pushed us all to do our best, and were there to catch us when we fell. Thank you to the students of Hogwarts for making my time, and everybody's time here so, so special."

The Great Hall at once exploded with applause. Lily blushed harder. Beaming, she turned to James and squeezed his hand. "James, is there anything you would like to add?"

"I think you pretty much said it all," James laughed as the applause faded. "Hogwarts has meant all these things and more to me. I will never forget this place and the people here as long as I live."

Lily smiled sadly – she looked out into the audience, and saw that her parents were in tears.

"I think most of the teachers remember me, but perhaps not exactly for my academic excellence," James said lightheartedly. "I've done more damage to the school than it deserves." Laughter rang out.

James paused, smiling. "Truthfully, Hogwarts has instilled changes in me over the years," James said, now switching to a more serious tone. "Looking back at my first year…I can't even imagine that used to be me. That is the beauty of Hogwarts. It has allowed all of us to grow from children to adults; it has guided us in that epochal journey. We have been put into difficult situations, and yet, with help, we have learned how to deal. Perhaps that is what I am most thankful for. I stand before you, not as a child, but as an adult. We are all now adults."

He paused again. "It may be the end of our era, but an exciting new journey is beginning for all of us. The best I can say is to seize every moment, to face whatever comes with the strength and intelligence you have gained here. I only have one thing left to say to you; congratulations, class of 1978! We made it!"

There was a collective cheer from the student section – the Great Hall once again erupted into thundering applause as the new graduates stood up like a rolling wave. Hats were thrown in the air, parents and faculty were sobbing messes, and Sirius's whistles and applause could be heard above all else. Peter and Remus were embracing like brothers. James smiled at Lily; she squeezed his hand again. "I'm trying so hard not to cry right now," she said, laughing.

"Me too," James said truthfully. They stepped off the stage and joined the milling crowd of students, who were now mingling with the parents and staff. Everywhere, people were embracing, laughing, and sometimes crying. Hand in hand, James and Lily made their way over to their families, who were standing together.

"Jamesie! You were so brilliant!" Mrs. Potter cried as he approached.

James flushed. "Thanks mum," he said, smiling nevertheless. Turning to Lily's family, he said hello, and thanked them again for their hospitality during winter vacation. "Have you met my family yet?" he said, gesturing to his parents.

"Oh of course," Mrs. Evans said, smiling warmly. "We sat next to each other during your speech and both of you were wonderful."

"Awww," Lily said, laughing.

The families chatted some more. James soon pulled Sirius into the circle, whose parents had pointedly decided not to come. Sirius, of course, was rather glad of that. He doubted he would ever talk to them again after the funeral, and that suited him perfectly fine. Remus and Peter's families soon joined suit, and the big group chatted gaily and introduced each other. Mr. and Mrs. Evans broke out their muggle cameras first and the other parents soon followed suit. Flashes of light filled the room as many people were laughing and congratulating one another while posing for pictures with just about every person they knew (the ones they liked, anyways). James was smiling so hard he thought his face would freeze, and this continued until the parents and guardians were ushered out to give the students their graduation ball.

"We're staying in Hogsmeade, like every other parent," Mr. Potter said as he left his son. "Come visit us if you get the chance, alright?"

James nodded, and caught Sirius' eye. They both grinned. Then he thought of something that had been milling around in his head for a long time.

"Mum, dad, can I talk to you quickly before you both leave?"

"Sure honey," Mrs. Potter said. "Is everything alright?"

James pulled them both into a corner in the Great Hall. "I'm not sure if you're already aware of this, but Professor Dumbledore extended to me an invitation to join the Order of the Phoenix. I intend to join," he added quickly, before they could input a word.

They looked at him, their eyes full of both weariness and pride.

"James," Mrs. Potter sighed.

"Mum, I've made up my mind," he said, blocking off any protests. "I want to help with the war, I want to fight! I know it won't be easy, but I want to." His tone was defensive.

"James," Mrs. Potter started again. "I'm not going to protest this."

"You're not?" James said, startled. "Oh."

"We already knew," Mr. Potter said, giving him a strained smile. "We know about Dumbledore's recruits, so to speak, and we were quite sure he was going to try to recruit you and your friends."

"Oh," James said again.

"Honey, you're of age," Mrs. Potter said, shrugging. "We can't stop you even if you wanted to. But I am warning you – it is not easy. I have watched many a good friend either die, be permanently damaged by magic, or be driven to the other side out of fear for themselves and their families."

"It is mentally and physically taxing," Mr. Potter added.

James, for the first time, noticed truly how tired and old his parents looked. The weariness seemed a part of them, like a scar that they could not erase. He felt his excitement drain a bit.

"We're not officially in the Order any more," Mr. Potter said, somewhat resignedly. "We both are too old, and thus feel like more of a liability. But that does not mean we are out of contact with the Order at all. I guess what I can say is that your decision to join will not affect us, in terms of our safety and where we stand with the Order."

"Oh," James said, a third time. He felt like he had been reduced to a mere echo of himself, and looked at both of his parents doubtfully. There was a long pause.

"James, we will support you no matter what, you know that," Mrs. Potter said finally, her eyes wet with tears. "We're proud of you. We love you." Her voice was firm; she ruffled his hair fondly.

"Thank you," James said, voice cracking. He knew he was one of the luckiest people in the world to have a family like this.

* * *

It was late in the afternoon and the golden sun was setting in the distance. Hogwarts glowed; perhaps it was from this illusion of light, perhaps from the happy spirited brightness of its new graduates. After the parents left, the students were ushered out of the Great Hall for quick touch-ups before the graduation ball began. Nobody was sure of what to expect.

Outside of the entranceway groups of students gathered, somewhat timidly, as if everyone was meeting for the first time. Up until this point the parents and the faculty were responsible for most of the tears shed, but now, one by one, the students seemed to break down.

"Oh, I can't believe this is finally happening!" Sirius heard a familiar giggle. He turned to see Mary Macdonald talking to Rachael Lorman. "If only Lauren were here!"

Somewhere in the crowd, Remus saw Peter pale a bit. Somewhere else in the crowd Sirius caught James' eye, and they both burst out laughing. It was like the attack of the ex-girlfriends. To be fair, neither Sirius nor James had spoken to either Mary or Rachael since their respective awful breakups, and saw them even less, as Lauren had moved away and Peter couldn't see her anymore.

Sirius tried to count in his head all the girls he had snogged either in the castle or in Hogsmeade. He got to Mary, Marcella, and Nora Angy before he gave up – there were too many to remember. James, however, reflected with fondness his short and bittersweet relationship with Rachael. She was the first one he ever had a serious relationship with, and ironically, the only one to completely map out his feelings for Lily even when he was in denial.

He walked over to her as she separated herself from Mary. "Hi," he said hesitantly.

She turned around, looking surprised. "Hi," she said. Her face still retained its famous solemnity, but clearly etched on her brow was the question, _what do you want_?

"I just wanted to say hi to you, you know, before we leave Hogwarts," James said honestly. "We're graduated and all, and we may never see each other again, so I wanted to say goodbye." He shuffled his feet a bit.

Rachael looked at him intently. "Well thank you," she said at last.

James was about to smile and walk away; he did not know why he rambled on. "And also, I wanted to apologize again for – for what happened, you know. Between us," he said quickly in one breath.

Clearly taken aback, Rachael raised her eyebrows. "James," she said after a pause. "That was such a long time ago. I'm over it, you're over it. I already take enough pride in knowing I was right."

James let out a laugh. "You were," he said. He couldn't help but admire her simple, straightforward honesty. After all, it was what had attracted him to her in the first place.

"No, honestly," she said, letting out a small smile. "You and Lily are great. And I really am glad you came over here to say hi, or rather, goodbye. So goodbye, James Potter. If ever we should meet in the future, I hope you will consider me a friend."

"I already do," James said truthfully.

Rachael smiled. "Good."

The Great Hall opened its doors at that moment, and the graduates were allowed inside. The chairs and benches that had composed of the sitting-places of the parents and students were gone replaced by a completely empty floor, save for the back of the hall, which was filled with tables and chairs all with menus and plates. The floor tiles were colored and placed so that the Hogwarts coat of arms was constructed. There were musicians onstage. Banners adorned every inch of the walls.

"Oh this is beautiful!" Faye whispered to Remus. Startled, he looked at her and smiled. She had just caught up to him as they were entering the Great Hall.

"It is," he agreed.

She beamed. "Do you want to dance?" she asked.

Remus shifted his foot. "I – I'm hungry," he mumbled.

"Oh come on," she said. "Remus, I know when you're lying. If you don't want to dance with me then just say so."

"No, I didn't say - " Remus started.

"Then come!" Faye said, beaming. She dragged him out onto the dance floor. They were the only ones there, but Remus hardly noticed as he put his arms around her waist and stared into those pretty blue eyes.

Soon, other couples joined them on the dance floor. Remus saw Marcella and Daniel pass by them once, and saw Lily and James pass by them three times. Lily and James, of course, were oblivious to anything around them anyway, so Remus wasn't surprised when he said "hi" and they didn't even pretend to notice.

'Those two," Remus laughed, shaking his head after his third unsuccessful attempt to say hi.

"They're a sweet couple," Faye said, smiling.

Remus flushed. Was she trying to play the guilt card again? He had grappled with their relationship for many nights. Many nights he had stayed up, unable to sleep, thinking of her. Faye had made it clear many times that she still loved him, and didn't care about his condition. But Remus couldn't bring himself to start a relationship again. It had hurt like nothing before to know that a werewolf killed her little brother. He can't imagine how much it would hurt him if he ever hurt her.

He was doing the safe thing and he knew it. But then again, he thought bitterly, wasn't he always considered sensible, safe Remus? He sure lived damn well up to his reputation.

"Are you okay?" Faye asked gently, sensing his change in gait and posture.

"Yes," Remus answered, snapping back to reality.

They danced for a while like this. Her head rested lightly on his shoulder. Presently, she looked up at him. "Remus," she said.

"Yes?" he said tentatively.

"I want to ask you something."

_Here we go again_, Remus thought, bracing himself for another version of Faye's attempts to fix their relationship.

It didn't come. Instead, Faye asked him if he was going to join the Order.

Remus felt relieved. "Oh. Of course," he replied quickly. "Are you?"

She paused. "I don't know whether I should or not."

"Well, what are you thinking about?" Remus asked.

"That's really why I wanted to talk to you, Remus," she said, brows furrowed. "I'm really quite torn about the entire situation."

"I'm here for you," Remus said attentively.

She smiled a genuine smile. "Well I want to join," she said. "I really want to help out this situation – what's going on is absolutely terrible and I just – just really want it to end." She bit her lip. "And yet…"

"Yet?" Remus said gently, encouraging her along.

"I know it's no use being scared…but I am, I completely am," she said, a bit breathlessly. "It's so dangerous, and I'm terrified for my family, my friends. Being in the thick of things as they're getting worse is nerve-wracking." She grimaced. "I don't want to be a coward about it -"

"You're not," Remus interrupted firmly. "This is a situation where being afraid is normal."

"Alright then, I'm petrified," Faye said, letting out a small laugh. "And then there's the fact of my family… they wouldn't let me stay home and work, and insisted on putting me through school. I feel like the least I could do is work and help support them now. But they keep telling me that they're fine and that I should not worry about their income."

There was a long silence. Remus held her close as they moved about the dance floor. She was deep in thought, obviously distraught.

"Do what you think you should," Remus said finally, attempting to be consoling.

"Ah, and there's the problem," Faye shrugged. "I don't know what to think."

Remus sighed. "I'm not sure what to tell you," he said, quite honestly. "Either way I think you can find ways to make it work."

She forced a smile.

"I will always be here for you," Remus promised. "If you ever need anything at all, I will do everything to help."

Faye knew he meant it. She looked up at his face and gave him a look that expressed her greatest, fullest gratitude. Something inside of her heart had moved since their last meeting where she had tried, one last time, to get him back. Perhaps for the first time she clearly saw what he needed, and not just what she needed.

"I love you," she whispered.

Remus tensed again, preparing for the déjà vu of their last meeting. But something in the way she said those words – so calming, not expecting anything in return, relaxed him. "I love you too."

And because she knew now how much he meant those words, for the first time, Faye was content on just being loved in that comforting, warm embrace, knowing that for his sake, this was all that she needed.

* * *

Elsewhere, Sirius was not doing so well on his own. Seething, he watched Marcella and Dan go out onto the dance floor for what seemed like hours. In actuality it was two songs.

"Hey Wormtail, what do you make of them?" he asked Peter for the hundredth time, voice teeming with frustration.

"They are a terrible couple," Peter said exasperatedly. He had been robotically repeating this phrase whenever Sirius went into the mode of ranting about Marcella and/or Dan.

"Terrible," Sirius repeated absently. "Yeah, really bad."

Peter couldn't help it – he rolled his eyes.

"Hey Wormtail," Sirius said, almost as if a sudden thought struck him. "How's that new girlfriend of yours?"

Peter was a bit taken aback. "Which – what?" he stammered.

"That last one that you were with," Sirius said.

"You mean Lauren?" Peter asked.

"No, the other one."

"Oh. I'm not sure," Peter mumbled. Sirius didn't seem to really notice.

"Hey Wormtail," Sirius said for the third time. "Gonna join the Order?"

Peter nodded. Then, realizing that Sirius wasn't looking at him, reinforced that with a "yes".

"Good," Sirius said, patting him on the back. "You should."

"Uh-huh," Peter replied.

They sat together for a while at the dining tables. Sirius was frowning, muttering things to himself quite constantly. Peter kept looking back behind him at other tables.

Finally, Remus and Faye came off the dance floor, both looking flushed and happy. "I'm exhausted!" Faye proclaimed, dragging Remus with her to the dining tables and settling down on a chair. "How are you guys?"

"Good," Sirius and Peter said at the same time, both equally listlessly.

While Faye and Remus ordered food from the menus, Sirius remained with his eyes locked on Marcella and Dan. The look in his eyes was getting increasingly hard to read, and as Remus knew from experience, that was dangerous.

"Chocolate eclairs," Remus said clearly at his plate, going for the old favorite that was ordered when the marauders first discovered the kitchens on the second day of school their first year. They appeared on his plate, and Remus picked one up.

"Padfoot, you know you want one," he said jokingly, wafting the éclair in front of Sirius's nose. Sirius ignored him.

"I'm gonna go," Peter said after a while.

"What? Why?" Remus frowned.

"Bladder is exploding," Peter joked dryly.

"Later, Wormtail," Remus said as Peter got up and walked away. Sirius didn't even seem to notice.

A couple of minutes later Sirius got up suddenly from his chair as Remus and Faye were deep in conversation.

"Where are you going?" Remus frowned, interrupting his own conversation for a moment. The look in Sirius' face had a mix of wildness and determination.

"Going to settle things," Sirius muttered.

"Sirius - " Remus started, but Sirius ignored him and walked straight onto the dance floor.

Remus had a thought of getting up to pull Sirius back, for he had a pretty good idea of what Sirius was about to do. He looked around – Peter was nowhere to be found, and James was so engrossed in his dance with Lily that he didn't notice Sirius approach Marcella and Dan. Remus started to rise from his seat, but thought better of it. He hoped that Sirius could handle this, at least, on his own.

"May I cut in?" Sirius said, intercepting Marcella and Dan. Without giving either of them time to respond, he grabbed Marcella by the waist and seemed to scuttle her away from Dan.

She stared at him with a mix of curiosity and anger. "Sirius, what are you doing?"

"What, not even a 'hi'?" Sirius said dryly.

"If you wanted to argue with me, you can do it later," she said through gritted teeth. "Unfortunately, you're ruining my graduation ball." She stopped moving on the floor, and attempted to push him away. He stuck to her like glue.

"Sirius, please, let go," she said, voice steely.

"Not before I say something," he said.

"What could you possibly say to me?" Marcella said angrily.

"I miss you," Sirius said, smiling.

She simply stared. "What?" she said finally, face expressing absolute incredulity.

"I said, I miss you," Sirius repeated, smile now faltering a bit.

"You can't be serious," Marcella said, still with a look of disbelief. Suddenly, she let out a harsh laugh and shook her head. "You are unbelievable," she snapped. "Bloody unbelievable."

"Wait, what?" Sirius said, now confused.

"You are mental. Mental. Sirius, get away from me." She tried once again to push him away.

Daniel Wyatt, who had been watching this exchange carefully, intercepted between Sirius and Marcella. "Okay, enough," he said to Sirius, trying to push him. "Please get away from my girlfriend."

Sirius let go of his grip on Marcella and turned on Dan. "Says who?" he spat.

"She asked you to get away twice now," Dan said, trying to keep the politeness that was edging out of his voice with every word. "It would be best if you respected her wishes."

"What are you going to do about it?" Sirius sneered. "Throw a bat at me?" He again resorted to the only weak jab against Dan, the Quidditch game where he had lost control of the beater's bat.

"That was such a long time ago," Marcella snapped. "You're being pathetic. Stop"

By now, several people had noticed that there was a growing problem in the middle of the dance floor. James and Lily were now approaching the three, both unsure of what was going on. Many times, Remus fought back the urge to leap in and jerk Sirius away.

"Let's go," Dan said to Marcella, reaching for her hand.

Remus knew what was going to happen a split second before it happened. Sirius seemed to lose his composure and reached up with his hands, pushing Dan so hard that he reeled back and hit the floor.

Half the Great Hall seemed to turn in their direction.

"Sirius!" Marcella said sharply. She knelt down beside Daniel. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm fine," Dan said, pulling himself up. He turned to Sirius with a look of pure anger on his face. "What is your problem?" he spat.

With a look of unmatched hatred, Sirius reached into his robes for his wand. Fortunately, after the push, both James and Remus had lunged toward the three. Just before Sirius could hex Daniel, Remus and James tackled him to the floor.

"Get – off – me!" Sirius snarled.

"Sirius, stop it," Remus said, teeth clenched as James wrestled Sirius' wand away from him.

Some of the staff were now noticing a commotion. Several got up from their seats and started to head toward the circle that had now gathered. Marcella grabbed Daniel's hand and they both disappeared into the crowd.

"Give me back my wand," Sirius said to James, voice toneless. "Give it back to me."

"You can have it back when you calm down," James said.

"I am calm," Sirius snapped.

"Oh, we see that," James said sardonically.

Sirius glared at both of them. Remus and James retained an iron-grip hold on him. "We're not letting you get your newly earned diploma revoked," Remus said mildly.

Sirius struggled a bit more, but then realized he was overpowered. He stood back up. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Marcella speeding out of the Great Hall alone.

"I – be back later," he muttered as he broke off from his two friends and sprinted for the doors.

Marcella was already halfway down the halls when Sirius came through the doors. "Marcella, wait!" he called, dashing after her.

She whipped around, so clearly frustrated and angry that she could barely look at him. "Sirius, leave me alone!" she snapped, and continued down the hall, now quickening her pace.

Sirius chased her down the hall. "Wait!" he yelled. He caught up to her at the end of the hallway.

"Wait for what?" she said tonelessly, not looking at him. "I am long done waiting for you."

"Hold on - " Sirius said, grabbing her arm.

That effectively stopped her. She wrenched it away with such force that Sirius staggered back. "You have some _nerve_," she whispered, every word filled with contempt. "You have no respect for me, or my boyfriend. Yes, he is my _boyfriend_, get that through your thick head."

"But – But I-" Sirius started.

"What now?" Marcella said, clearly exasperated. "What can you possibly do to mess my emotions up more?"

"I never stopped," Sirius said.

"Never stopped what?" she snapped.

"I never stopped missing you. I missed you the moment you left," he finished.

For a moment she looked like she was expecting something else, but that look was soon replaced by disgust.

"You honestly think that you can come back to me after all this time, tell me that you miss me, and - and then what?" She glared at him. "Really, what kind of pathetic idiot _are_ you? I mean, I think I've said that before, and apparently you haven't changed." Marcella wasn't yelling or screaming – her anger seemed to have extended past that point. She spoke her words with a distinct degree of weariness.

Sirius now looked a little panicked – this was not going according to plan. "Marci - " he tried to say.

"Sirius, what did you expect?" she said, rather softly. "That I'd drop everything, pretend it never happened? That it would be so easy for us to get back together? You must be deluded. Little as you do know me, I thought you would know me better than that." She was now breathless, face flushed.

"Wait," Sirius tried again.

"I can't," she cut in. "Look. Dan loves me, and he's not afraid to say it. And I couldn't be prouder to say how much I love him."

Sirius seemed scolded into silence by those words, which seemed to knock the wind out of him. They hurt him much more than he expected those words could hurt. It took him a while to regather his emotions.

"I thought – I thought you loved me," he said stupidly.

Several looks flashed across her face, and her features softened. The raging anger in her heart was eclipsed by an incomprehensible mix of exasperation, disbelief, and pity.

"I did," she said quietly. "And that was the truth."

"But you don't now," Sirius said, trying to keep from sounding desperate.

She sighed. "What do you want me to say, Sirius? That I still love you, after all that's happened... But - well, let me put it this way. Some people, Sirius, have their hearts open. They can be easily hurt, but they are open to love, and to give love, from and to many people."

_And some people_, Sirius thought, _have their hearts so guarded that they can only love a few times. _And he knew perfectly well which one he was.

They stood in silence for a while. Marcella was moved by how somber Sirius was being, and how much he genuinely seemed to cared for her, despite his erroneous ways of showing it. She smiled sadly. She knew it was unfortunate, the way things turned out between them.

He turned his face so he was looking straight into her eyes. They were that beautiful, dark, intelligent brown he had always known. Perhaps for the first time, he realized just how futile his attempt had been to win her back. She had clearly moved on. It was Sirius's immature pride that kept him thinking that she would forgive him easily, would be eager to take him back. He had convinced himself of that, convinced himself that she could not love anyone past him. He knew now that that was a stupid thought, but he clung to it because it was the littlest bit of hope he had left for her love.

"I'm going to go back in," Marcella said finally. "I came out to gather my thoughts and I think they've dispersed so much that I think I'm going to have problems gathering them back now."

Sirius let out a small but genuine chuckle.

She started to walk back to the Great Hall, but stopped after a couple of steps and turned to look at him. "Look," she said quietly. "I'm going to sign the parchment for the Order."

"You are?" Sirius said, not at all surprised.

"Yeah," she nodded. "That means that we won't be able to avoid each other. And I am really tired of fighting with you, us always being on bad terms. In all likelihood, we'll probably be working together. So I really hope, with all my heart, that we can be friends."

And with a stroke of maturity that Sirius didn't know was in him, he said, "I will accept anything you are willing to give me."

She looked surprised, but pleased. Shooting him a small smile, she headed back toward the Great Hall as he looked on, unsure of what to think.


	63. The End of an Era, Part II

A/N: Hi guys! It's another chapter here, and definitely the last of the "End of Era" chapters. Though this was a shorter chapter, I feel like it's one of my best written, and I can only hope that you will think that too :) It's finally putting the closure on the Marauders at Hogwarts, and starting with the next chapter, I'm ready to dive into a whole new scenario for these characters. I hope you will continue to join me on the ride!

And as always, I could not possibly have the motivation to keep writing were it not for you wonderful readers and reviewers! Thanks so much for sticking with me! Personal thanks to Hairspray07fan, Siriute, SportsNightLover, jewelledhunter, Reggae Groove, chocoluvr, Phanthom, nina, and meiscool2! You all are amazing.

* * *

_June, 1978_

* * *

The End of an Era, Part II

At midnight, the ball ended. Exhausted, full and happy, the new graduates left the Great Hall for their dormitories one last time. Some had to be woken up, as they were slumped over on the chairs, asleep, while some had to nearly be forced off the dance floor. As everyone emptied out, Sirius was back to sitting at the same table, this time alone, ordering food listlessly. He didn't even feel like he could eat any of it, but he ordered anyway for the pure satisfaction of seeing food appear on his plate.

The new recruits had been told to stick around after the ball. As the Hall emptied and people trickled slowly out, only a handful were left. James and Lily had rarely let up the entire night. The dance floor was theirs – they waltzed around it like a couple that had been together for their entire lives.

Sirius watched them now, a million emotions flashing through his body. A part of him had never lost that old grudge. They were so happy, and so together – and whenever they were engrossed in each other like that, they quite obviously ignored the world. Sirius shook his head. _Snap out of it_, he told himself. He knew that deep in his heart he was really quite fond of them as a couple. Never in his life had he seen James so filled to the brim with happiness. It was hard to not be delighted for his best friend.

"Hey, what are you up to?" Remus said, sitting down beside Sirius.

"Where's Faye?" Sirius asked, a teasing smile coming onto his face.

"With Marci and Dan," Remus said nonchalantly. "And some of the other recruits."

"You guys sure don't seem broken up to me," Sirius said, letting out his bark-like laugh.

Remus had to smile. He hadn't heard that laugh in so long. "It's complicated," he said.

"It always is," Sirius said knowingly. "Moony, you are one hell of a beast."

Remus flushed. "Aren't we all?" he said sardonically.

Sirius laughed again. "True."

"I'm the head beast."

"You define beast."

They laughed together. "That was the most immature, pointless conversation I've had in a long time," Remus smiled.

"Aaah, feels like we're young again," Sirius laughed.

"Speaking of that," Remus said pointedly. "Your birthday is coming up soon, isn't it."

"I completely forgot," Sirius said, surprised. It was true – with all that was going on, it was hardly believable he could be eighteen soon. Sure, the big seventeen had passed last summer at the Potters', where they had given him a celebration fit for a king, but this was his first birthday after he was a full-blown wizard.

"Padfoot," Remus said, shaking his head good-naturedly. "What would you do without us? Alright, we're going to get planning on this as soon as – well, I don't know where Wormtail is," he said, frowning. Scanning the Great Hall, he did not see him. "Perhaps he forgot we were supposed to stay?"

"Wouldn't be surprised," Sirius muttered. "D'you know where he went?"

"Last I heard he went to empty his bladder," Remus said.

Sirius snorted. "And here I thought he was actually going somewhere meaningful," he chortled.

"He's probably wandering the halls, lost. Hopefully he finds his way back," Remus said, mouth twitching. He and Sirius looked at each other and cracked up again.

"What's gotten into you?" Sirius breathed, still gulping air from his guffaws.

"I don't know," Remus said honestly. "But it feels good, you know? Just to be a bit looser."

Sirius clapped him on the back. "To the beast," he barked, beaming.

"Be very afraid," Remus cheered.

Just then, Lily and James finally stepped off of the dance floor and made their way over to the table. "Wow, that was so much fun!" Lily exclaimed as she plopped down on the nearest seat. Both she and James had flushed faces, and were looking as if they were on top of the world.

"Well finally," Sirius said dryly. "I thought you two would never get off each other."

"Believe me, we didn't want to," James said, grinning.

Lily turned beet red, and Remus almost choked on his laughter. Sirius mimicked gagging noises. "You two make me sick," he said good-naturedly.

James laughed. "Then our job is done."

"Believe me mate, for Lily's sake, you can disgust us as often as you'd like," Sirius said, mouth twitching.

"Oh stop it," Lily said, looking thoroughly embarrassed.

Sirius laughed his bark-like laugh and slouched down in his chair. "I'm glad to know you can no longer threaten me with detentions," he said jokingly.

"I can still put a world of hurt on you," Lily said with a sarcastic smile. "Don't underestimate my Head Girl experience."

Sirius beamed at her. "If I suddenly wake up with a full body bind I'll blame you."

She laughed. "I'm a very busy woman, Mr. Black. You'll have to earn every hex I'll put on you in the future."

"Oh, that will probably not be very difficult," Remus said sardonically.

Sirius grinned. James was pleased – Sirius and Lily seemed to be getting along much better these days, which made his life easier; he recounted with a wry smile the days when he had to mediate fights between them that erupted constantly.

"May we join you?" Faye, Marcella and Dan had come over from the other side of the great hall. Sirius jerked his head – it was Marcella who had spoken.

Immediately, Remus, Lily and James all turned to Sirius. None of them knew what had gone on in the hallway between Sirius and Marcella, and they avoided the question out of sheer apprehension. James and Remus tensed in their seats, as if poised to break up another fight.

"Sure," Sirius said politely, offering a strained smile. "Let's make some room." He moved his chair and helped bring three more to the table.

James and Remus almost gaped with shock, but they hid it well. They still kept their guards up for any sign that Sirius may tackle Dan to the ground – Remus still had Sirius' wand for safekeeping. However, Sirius was acting unnaturally polite and restrained, almost like a gracious host. Lily watched the scene with a raised eyebrow as the group chatted.

When Dan kissed a smiling Marcella on the cheek, James thought Sirius would lunge and punch him. Instead, Remus saw Sirius simply clench his fist, and do no more. It seemed that in that moment, Remus couldn't be prouder of his friend.

"Here comes Dumbledore," Marcella said as she looked over at the front doors. Sure enough, Dumbledore was striding into the hall, a smile on his face.

"I should go," Dan said. He stood up, and gave Marcella one last kiss. "Bye," he said to everyone.

"Bye," they chorused back, everyone except Sirius, who forced a nod. As he left, Dumbledore's voice said, "Will everyone please gather around the dining areas?"

The other recruits joined the group that was already sitting at the tables. "We seem to be missing one," Dumbledore said as he walked over to the group and sat down also on a chair. He looked quite different; students were only used to him sitting behind his desk, or behind his seat in the high tables. Seeing him sit in a chair that was too squat for his tall frame was a bit unsettling.

"No, I'm here!" Peter's voice called. Everyone turned their heads to see him rush in to the Great Hall, face flushed and embarrassed. "I'm sorry," he said miserably as he reached themand sat down on a chair. "I lost track of time."

"No matter," Dumbledore said cheerfully. "You are here now, which means we can start." He looked around carefully at the students gathered around him. "I see we have no casualties yet, and I thank you all again for giving up your valuable sleep to be here tonight. First of all, I congratulate all of you on graduation – you are all, as Mr. Potter so eloquently put it, adults."

James laughed. "Glad to be of service, professor."

"And what great service you and Ms. Evans were! I do wish I could talk more about the ceremony, but unfortunately, I am keeping you from a last night in the comfort of your dormitories, so I must move forward." He paused, and looked seriously at the collection of faces around him. Some people had looks of excitement on their faces, some looked terrified, and some simply looked confused.

"I hope you all have had enough of a chance to think about my offer. I know it was a lot to put on you so quickly. Now, however, you all must make this decision for yourselves." Dumbledore reached into his robes and drew out a quill and a giant scroll. He slowly unfurled the scroll; it had immeasurable amounts of lines, with words arranged in a neat, slanted handwriting. The words worked their way slowly, line by line down to near the bottom of the page. They were so miniscule that James couldn't make any of them out from where he was sitting. On the top, however, clearly emblazoned, were the words, _The Order of the Phoenix_.

Everyone sitting seemed to stare at the scroll, including Dumbledore. Lily examined it with utmost curiosity – perhaps it was awe and apprehension that kept her looking. Others turned away after a while, clearly unsure if the scroll held a large part of their future commitment.

Sirius was sitting nearly opposite of Dumbledore and the scroll – he had the clearest view of the very bottom of the scroll, which listed many names, some of which had slight dashes through them. For the first time, Sirius shuddered – he did not want to think about what those tiny dashes meant, even though he was pretty sure the meaning was clear.

Dumbledore sat silently, as if waiting for the group to absorb the moment of reality, of their decision. Finally, he placed the quill neatly, parallel to the edges of the scroll, and folded his hands on the table. Everyone seemed to snap out of a reverie – they focused their attention on him.

"Before you make your written decisions, are there any questions?" he asked, peering at them over his half-moon glasses.

There was a moment of silence. Finally, Faye shifted in her seat. "Professor," she said hesitantly. "Why are some of the names crossed out with dashes?"

Marcella held her breath, unaware that she was doing it.

Dumbledore smiled sadly. "They are broken lines," he said quietly. "They signify some that have left on their own, but mostly, they signify those who are broken in body, but remain with us in spirit."

It wasn't a direct answer, but no one needed to hear the direct answer; everyone was painfully aware of what he meant. Faye seemed to shrink into her seat. Her hands clutched the bottom of the chair.

"If there are no more questions, I would like to reiterate this point: I will think just as highly of you should you choose not to join the Order," Dumbledore said. "And I must insist on a memory charm for your own safety, if you should choose not to join. However, for those that do want to join – you may do so now." He withdrew his folded hands from the table, as if it was an invitation to all of them to make a final choice.

There was a moment where no one was sure what to do, what to say. Then, suddenly, Sirius grabbed the quill, his eyes shining. The sound of the quill scratching on the parchment was all anyone heard for a few seconds. When he was done, Sirius shoved the quill at James, who smiled appreciatively. He too bent over the parchment and signed his name next to the list of all others. As he finished, he saw the names of his parents, with slight dashes through their names. He smiled wider, and handed the quill to Remus.

When Remus had signed his name, he offered it to Peter. Peter gave the quill a hesitant look and with shaking fingers took it from Remus' palm. His scrawl was slightly wobbly, and yet he finished with a satisfied air, and set the quill back down on the table.

Wordlessly, Lily snatched up the quill, signed her name, then handed it to Marcella to sign. When she was done, the room had a deadened air. The spirit was tense. Remus saw one Hufflepuff twitch, but do no more. No one else seemed capable of moving. Faye's Ravenclaw friend had turned her head so that she would not see the parchment at all.

"Anybody else?" Dumbledore asked gently after a prolonged silence. He waited for a while longer. Remus stole a look at Faye. He could tell that she was struggling. Her face was slightly red, her eyes were confused, and her hands were still glued to the seat sides. Her eyes focused on the parchment, but suddenly, she stole a glance at him, and was surprised to see him looking back at her. She quickly averted her look.

"I thank you all again for coming," Dumbledore said, now leaning forward in his seat. He made to reach for the scroll, but suddenly, Faye sprang up from her seat. "Wait," she said, voice trembling. Her hands found the quill, and in a couple of seconds that felt like an eternity, she had put her name down on the parchment.

Dumbledore smiled at her kindly. This time, when he reached for the scroll, no one stopped him. He rolled it up gently and tucked it back into his robes, along with the quill. Faye's Ravenclaw friend let out a sigh of relief.

"I have some last minute instructions," Dumbledore said, standing up. "For all of you that did choose to join, you will not leave on the train with the rest of your class. Your instructions are to step into Hogsmeade, and Apparate from there to Diagon Alley. We need to give you information on the whereabouts of the Headquarters. Is that understood?"

"Yes sir," James said.

"Excellent," Dumbledore said, breaking into a smile. "This is the most people we have ever had join in a single year. I welcome you all, and sincerely thank you. You may leave. As for those who did not choose to join, I would appreciate your sticking around for a few more minutes while I perform small memory charms."

James, Sirius and Peter stood up at once and headed for the doors. Lily and Marcella followed them. Faye stood up slowly, obviously still distraught. Remus held her by the shoulders and steadied her as they walked.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked gently.

She smiled at him. "I'll be fine," she said. "Thanks."

As they walked out of the Great Hall, Remus felt three hands grab him and jerk him into a corridor. "Hey!" Remus managed before he found himself in front of James, Sirius, and Peter, who were all grinning widely.

"Hey yourself," James laughed.

"What is going on?" Remus said, massaging his arm.

"We decided to have one last night of what we used to do," Sirius said, smiling mischievously. "You know, marauding. Causing wrecks. Making others miserable."

"Should be fun," Peter said excitedly.

Remus laughed. He saw the spark of youth in their eyes, something he had not seen in James and Sirius, especially, for a long time. For a moment he was transported back to their first years, before they had the map – when they explored every inch of the castle as if discovering a precious treasure worth more than any amount of galleons in the world. It almost seemed that once they had extracted every secret of the castle, they began to take it for granted. They no longer treated it as a treasure, but more of an everyday set piece for something bigger. Remus knew there was nothing wrong with that, but to see the castle again as he had seen it when it was foreign, would be like reacquainting himself with an old friend.

"What are we waiting for?" he said, beaming. "Let's go."

* * *

Sirius was the first one packed and ready to go in the morning. He had his luggage down in the common room before Peter had even fallen asleep. The sky was still dark – only a hint of the sun was peeking from the horizon. He flung himself onto the couch and slouched lazily, his arms slung over the sides.

He wasn't aware that he was absentmindedly looking at everything in the room, from the fireplace to the curtains on the windows. In fact, he was so absorbed in his own thoughts that he didn't notice Marcella coming down the girl's stairs with her own luggage.

"Hey," she said sleepily.

Sirius jumped and sat up straight on the couch. "Hi," he said, trying to keep his voice as composed as possible.

She laughed and settled herself down on the couch, in almost exactly the same pose he had before. "Can't sleep?"

"I was up all night anyway," Sirius said. "What's your excuse?"

"I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that we're leaving," she said. "It's surreal. And now that we're in the Order, everything really is going to change for us. I have no idea what to expect."

"Me neither," Sirius said.

She smiled at him, her dark eyes sparkling. One wisp of hair covered the center of her forehead. Sirius wanted to reach up and brush it away – he raised his hand, but changed his mind at the last moment and instead ran his hand through his own hair. He smiled sarcastically to himself, thinking of James and his habit.

"I'm really going to miss this place," Marcella sighed. "I've said that a billion times already, but it just – it is so hard to leave."

"I know how you feel," Sirius said earnestly.

"It's been like home," Marcella said.

"It has been home for me," Sirius shrugged. "You know, except for the Potter house." He paused for a moment. "I'm going to get my own flat," he added, hoping he sounded nonchalant.

"Really?" Marcella said, surprised.

"Yeah," Sirius nodded. "With my inheritance."

"Your uncle did leave you quite a bit of gold," Marcella laughed. "I'm proud of you, Sirius. You deserve a place of your own. Is it going to be a birthday gift to yourself?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "You remember my birthday?"

"Don't act so surprised," she said sarcastically. "I remember almost everything you've ever told me. I suppose it's no use now asking what to get you for that lovely birthday?"

"I have everything I want," Sirius said, knowing that he was lying through his teeth. There were only two things he didn't have – his status as an Auror, and her.

"Lucky bastard," she said teasingly.

He smiled at her glowing face. "That I am."

They stayed in the blossoming dawn until the sun made its way through the morning clouds. Then, they heard the sound of a trunk being dragged down the stairway, and saw Lily's red hair precede her into the common room.

"Good morning," Sirius said, eyebrow raised.

Lily's hair was a frizzy mess, and her eyes were tired-looking and baggy. She glared at Sirius with utmost contempt.

"I didn't do anything," Sirius said, throwing his hands up.

"Oh shut up," Lily snarled.

"What's wrong?" Marcella asked, getting up from the couch and striding over to help her friend.

"Those other two – let me rephrase that – Mary, just Mary, will not shut up. She's been crying nonstop and yelling and wailing about how this is the last night here. I could not sleep. I seriously wanted to pick my pillow up and slam her in the head. I almost pulled out a wand and hexed her. Finally I got up, packed, and left. Here I am."

"She wasn't like that when I left," Marcella said, frowning.

"She woke up from a bad dream," Lily said, pushing a strand of hair away from her eyes.

"Oh," Marcella said.

"It doesn't even matter," Lily sighed, setting herself down on another couch. "I don't know why I'm letting this get to me."

"You're a bit crazy dear," Marcella said seriously. "But that's why we love you."

Lily's face broke into a small smile.

A while later, Remus made his way downstairs with his luggage, looking slightly tired.

"Moony I thought you'd be the last one out!" Sirius called.

"Trust me, I would have been, if those idiots didn't insist on sleeping until the last possible minute," Remus said dryly. "I'm going back up there to check afterwards to make sure we haven't left anything behind."

"Good thinking mum," Sirius said, smiling.

Remus shot him a wry smile and set himself down beside Lily on the couch. "Why did you scamper out so early? I wasn't expecting you to be down here."

"Couldn't sleep," Sirius said, with a small glance at Marcella as she sat back down. She smiled.

Just as Remus had predicted, James and Peter came downstairs ten minutes before the group was supposed to be in the Great Hall. Lily was almost about to go upstairs and blast down their door.

"Where the hell were you?" Lily screeched as they finally appeared.

"Getting the beauty sleep you needed?" Sirius offered. James and Peter laughed, but James was silenced immediately by a look from Lily, whose frizzy hair and baggy eyes did not help her mood.

"Sirius Black - " she snarled, but Remus jumped in before she could say anything else.

"No fighting," he said firmly. "We are all going to get along on our last day of school. Is that understood?"

Lily grudgingly backed off. Sirius shot her a look of innocence, which was reciprocated by a cold glare.

"We're going to be late if we don't get moving," Marcella said, looking at her watch.

"Exactly," Remus said. "Everyone move!"

They walked quickly to the Great Hall, where all the graduates were assembled. Dumbledore was walking around, saying his last goodbyes, as were the professors. Hagrid was the one who met them outside of the castle doors in front of the lake.

"No more'n four to a boat!" he yelled over the scrambling crowd. The same boats that had been used to transport them to the castle their first year were there in the lake, like a small fleet coming to greet them. They had been expanded to fit their grown bodies. Remus looked at it with pride. They had come full circle.

James let go of Lily's hand and wordlessly she understood, and accepted, that today he wanted to sit with his best friends, his brothers, the people he had known and loved for seven years. She loved him too, but she knew it was a different kind of love – one she had only known for less than a year.

Sirius smiled as James, Remus and Peter piled into the boat. He felt safe, with these three around him. They were the Marauders. They would stick together. They were his real family.

The boats started to move across the lake. James once again felt that great sense of wonder, just as he had when the boats had first made its way to the castle. The trip across the sparkling waters seemed to last for just a nanosecond, but in that nanosecond James was fully aware of his life. When he had come to Hogwarts, the boats pointed in the direction of this castle, his life for seven glorious years. Now, the boats pointed outward, to a great expanse on the vast horizon. They now led to his dreams, his hopes, his fears; they led to his future, and everything he would make of that future.

He looked at Remus; he seemed to think exactly what James was thinking. Sirius and Peter too had smiles of serenity on their face. James looked at the boat beside them – Lily, Marcella and Faye had identical silent tears running down their faces.

James turned now to look at that expanding world beyond the castle grounds, and he felt in his heart that he was finally ready to explore this brave new world.


	64. The Order of the Phoenix

A/N: Well hello! I want to thank all of you again for sticking with this story. It's been wonderful writing it, and I will try to continue this year, even though it may be difficult. And how could I possibly give this story up now? I've reached beyond the halfway point, and I sincerely hope to finish the story when I can!

This chapter was such a turning point; I keep reminding myself that these people are no longer in Hogwarts, but are out in the world on their own. The safety net of Hogwarts is gone, so some really crazy stuff will be happening soon! I really did enjoy writing this one though; it was like reintroducing myself to all these characters.

A super-thank-you to alix33 for your great sense of humor and inspection of my chapters! I will definitely go back and fix my grammatical/spelling errors that you have pointed out.

And once more, all my gratitude goes to those who have read and reviewed! Special thanks to Phanthom, Contorce, Captain-Beatty, Nina Alloway, Lovinthehorses, Mareda, alix33, floss bucket, chocoluvr, SportsNightLover, Lugia Smiles, an onymous, A Purple Soul, and MyPenIsSharperThanYourSword! You guys are amazing.

* * *

_June, 1978_

* * *

The Order of the Phoenix

There were seven distinct popping sounds as seven different people suddenly appeared in front of Florean Fortescue's ice cream parlor on a Saturday morning. The people in the streets looked up for a nanosecond, but then returned to their daily duties. They were used to this by now. One man in the group of seven almost fell over on the spot, while the red-haired girl beside him steadied him. "Thanks," he said, slightly embarrassed.

"Honestly, Peter," another said exasperatedly. His dark hair lazily covered one of his gray eyes. "You'd think that after a year your apparition skills would have improved."

"Stop it," the red-haired girl snapped as Peter turned a darker shade of red. "If I remember correctly we've all gone a year without apparition, and he's not the only one who didn't pass the test the first time." She stressed the word _only_ while smirking at him.

The dark-haired man's face arranged itself into an ugly scowl. Before he could say anything, a third man cut in. His light brown hair and youthful face nevertheless had a worn and tired look permanently etched. "Can't you two get along for two minutes?" he said pleadingly. "Look. We just came out of Hogwarts, and we're about to see Order Headquarters. Life is going to be unbearable if you two keep squabbling."

"Fine," the red-head huffed, refusing to look at the dark-haired man. "But only for you, Remus."

"Good enough for me," Remus sighed. There was a moment of silence.

"Does anybody want to go visit the shops?" the girl with the light brown-blonde hair spoke up. "We can't just stand here with nothing to do."

"I would want to," the dark-haired girl said, her deep brown eyes twinkling. "But Dumbledore told us to wait in Diagon Alley, didn't he?"

"He didn't specify where," the dark-haired man said, smiling sardonically. "For all we know Dumbledore could be meeting us in the Owlery. You know, or in the broom shop, but there'd be nothing to look at because all the brooms are stuck up Lily's - "

"Sirius!" the dark-haired girl said sharply.

"You think you're so funny," Lily snarled, rounding on Sirius.

"I don't think, I know," Sirius smirked. He bowed mockingly.

Lily let out a noise that was somewhere between a scream and a growl, and plunged into her robes for her wand.

"Lily, stop," Remus said loudly, with a pleading look in his eyes. To his friend who was standing beside him, he said, "James, do something!"

The one man who had not spoken a word yet ran his hand through his untamed hair and looked at Remus helplessly through his glasses. "What do I do?" he whispered uncertainly.

"I don't know, do something! Anything!" Remus said exasperatedly.

Lily now had her wand out and pointed at Sirius' forehead, even though the two other girls tried to snatch it away from her. Her eyes were set, her face was flushed.

Sirius looked at her carelessly. He leaned on one of the tables outside of Florean Fortescue's parlor. "Gonna curse me, Evans? Seems a bit rash of you, don't you think?"

"Shut up," Lily snapped. "I talked to you. I thought I understood you. I thought we could be friends, but you're making it so damn difficult."

"_I'm_ making it difficult?" Sirius said incredulously. "The only thing I'm guilty of is making a joke, and you take it so bloody seriously."

"I do not!" Lily said angrily.

"Come on Evans," he said, lips curled. "Get yourself into a joke shop and buy yourself a sense of humor, eh?"

Sparks flew out of her wand; her frizzy hair seemed to teem with electricity.

Sirius laughed. "Come on, Evans," he said again. "I dare you to curse me."

"Stop!" James yelled as Lily made a slight movement with her wand. Before her spell hit home Remus had yelled "Protego!" and a shield had expanded between them. The spell bounced off harmlessly.

"What is wrong with you?" James said angrily as Remus stood on the side, wand held steadily. "Yesterday you two were fine, and now you're ready to kill each other. How are we supposed to work together in the Order if you two don't get along?"

Lily folded her arms. Sirius didn't say anything; his expression was blank.

"Can we just- just call a truce for now?" James said. "We're supposed to be fighting the Death Eaters, not other people that are working with us."

Grudgingly, Lily held out her hand. Sirius reached forward and took it. They held on for about two seconds before they let go.

"There, that's better," Remus said, forcing a smile. He flicked his wand, and the shield charm disappeared.

"Now, who wants to walk around?" the dark-haired girl spoke up. "Faye and I do, what about the rest of you?"

Remus shrugged. "Everyone okay with that?"

"Great!" Faye squealed, beaming. "Lead the way, Marci!"

The group made their way through the crowded streets. James dawdled to wait for Sirius, who was deliberately lagging behind the rest of the group.

"What is wrong with you?" James muttered to Sirius under his breath.

Sirius ignored him.

"Sirius - " he said again.

"Look, maybe some people just aren't meant to get along," Sirius said, very quietly.

"But can't you just try?" James said, with a hint of sadness in his voice.

Sirius looked at him, clearly trying to hide the hurt look on his face. "I can't believe you think I haven't." He then sped up and caught up with the rest of the group. James stood still for a moment, then too caught up with the group.

Soon, Lily and Sirius seemed to have forgotten all about their differences, and were chatting and joining the conversations like nothing had happened. The group went into all parts of Diagon Alley; they visited Madam Malkin's, Eeylops Owl Emporium, Quality Quidditch Supplies, Flourish and Blotts, and even went back to the Leaky Cauldron to say hi to Tom.

Diagon Alley had changed. There was a visible shift in atmosphere from when James had been there last – when he was buying his school supplies nearly a year earlier, the shops had been a bit more cautious, but they had been bustling with happy shoppers. Now, because of the fear that had spread due to Voldemort's reign, people mainly kept to themselves. There was no longer the friendly quality that had before been so prevalent. Everything seemed rushed, hurried, even furtive. The shops had their doors closed instead of thrown open into the sunshine-filled street. The sight of the seven friends walking along while chatting gaily was looked upon by many people with a wistful glance, as if they wished that this scene was more present in Diagon Alley, as it had been before.

All the while, as they moved from place to place, Remus felt like they were being followed. Once or twice he saw a bulky figure disappear behind a shelf in a store, or duck down an alleyway when Remus turned his head. It gave him an uneasy feeling.

"James, I don't like it," he muttered the third time this happened. They were in the Leaky Cauldron; the girls, Peter and Sirius were having a chat with Tom and some of the other tenants "I have a bad feeling about this. What if it's a Death Eater, or someone trying to gain information on us? What if they found out we were in the Order?"

"I don't see anyone following us," James said, frowning. "Have any of the others seen anything?"

"I don't know," Remus said quietly. "Peter swears he hasn't, and I think telling Sirius would ruin his currently affable mood. But maybe I'm just hallucinating. All the same, keep an eye out, alright?"

"Of course," James said.

"Where to next?" Faye asked after they headed out of the Leaky Cauldron; none of them particularly wanted to go to Ollivander's or Gringotts.

"What say we take a stroll down Knockturn Alley?" Sirius said, smiling surreptitiously.

"I don't know," Faye said uncertainly.

"It'll be fun," Sirius said. "It's really the only interesting place we haven't been."

"I'm not sure that's a great idea," Remus said carefully.

"Why not?"

There was a small silence. "I think someone has been following us," Remus said, very quietly.

Faye and Lily looked alarmed, but Sirius threw back his head and laughed. Everyone stared at him.

"That's nothing to laugh at," Lily said weakly. "They could be out to get us!"

"Really," Sirius scoffed. "If they had been out to get us, they would have attacked us already. Knockturn Alley is just as crowded as Diagon Alley, though perhaps by a different crowd. James and I have been there many times."

James shrugged. "True."

"I don't know," Faye said again. "What if Dumbledore can't find us?"

"It's Dumbledore," Sirius said, as if that explained everything. When no one responded, he said, "it'll be really quick. I just want to have a look. And besides, it's seven of us against one person that may or may not be following us. We can take him."

He sauntered in the direction of Knockturn Alley. The rest of the group glanced at each other uneasily, but then followed him.

Lily relaxed a bit as they walked through Knockturn Alley. People stared at the group as they passed; perhaps they were too conspicuous, these youths, huddled together. She wondered what they thought of them. Once or twice she caught a shadow moving swiftly near them, but when she turned, she only saw a few old wizards leering at her. She frowned. Perhaps she was just scaring herself, so she shook the feeling of apprehension off.

"This is quite interesting," Marcella commented as they walked out of Borgin and Burkes. The shop owner had given them nasty looks as they wandered around, looking at the objects in the store. "I've never been here before."

"Isn't it?" Sirius said, a note of glee in his voice. His step became lighter, almost challengingly jaunty.

Remus raised an eyebrow. He wasn't sure what Sirius was doing, but he had a faint impression that Sirius didn't want to go down Knockturn Alley simply to look nonchalantly at the shops for no reason.

"Moony," James said urgently, briskly moving next to his friend as they passed another store. "I think you're right. Lily and I both have seen shadows following us. We actually saw the same man in a bowler hat twice – I think we should get out of here."

"Right," Remus said quickly. "Okay. Sirius, I think we should get out of Knockturn Alley."

Sirius looked disappointed, but he did not argue. He placed himself sullenly next to Marcella, who offered a small grin. As the group turned around, Lily and Remus saw a man in a heavy overcoat and a bowler hat duck into an alleyway ahead of them.

"That's him!" Lily whispered, pointing at the corner, her eyes widening. "I swear that's the guy that has been following us!"

Sirius's eyes narrowed. "Bastard," he growled, to the surprise of everyone. Without warning, he had pulled out his wand, and was taking off toward the alleyway.

"Sirius, stop!" Lily yelled, but it was too late; Sirius had turned the corner and out of sight. Two seconds later there was a deafening sound and Sirius's yell came from the alleyway; the next second they saw his body fly out as he landed on the ground with a loud thud.

"What the -?" James said, shocked. He ran to Sirius as the others surrounded the entrance to the alley and helped him up. "You okay?"

"Yes," Sirius snarled. "Who the hell -?"

A shadow emerged from the alleyway, and the man that was casting the shadow soon followed. Seven wands instantaneously pointed at the stranger's head, but he didn't seemed fazed at all. His posture was unnaturally calm, as if he had been standing in that position for his whole life. His eyes were covered by the bowler hat; his mouth was arranged into a distinct sneer. He took a step forward, and everyone else took a step back, except Sirius.

"Who the hell are you?" Sirius demanded.

The man's contemptuous smile grew wider. He lifted up his bowler hat, which removed the dark shadow of his face. Faye shuddered, though her hand remained firmly on her wand.

He was a man who looked as if he had lived through unspeakable horrors, and had seen much more of life than he had wished to see. His face was physically worn, and yet still retained a spirit that was lively and dangerous. His graying brown hair hung limply down from his head, while his small, beetle-like eyes glittered in apparent enjoyment. A chunk of his nose was missing, adding to the wood-like, carved quality of his battle-scarred face.

He moved toward them once again, and James saw that he had a distinct gait, as if he was used to walking with a limb hurt. In this case, James saw that his right shoulder was heavily bandaged through his open coat.

"I know you," James said suddenly, remembering a picture in the Daily Prophet that showed up every so often when a Death Eater was put into Azkaban; he remembered the man who was victorious, it seemed, every time, with the same limp hair and intent eyes. "You're Alastor Moody. The famous Auror."

He heard Remus intake a sharp breath beside him, and knew that he also realized who this man was, and everything he had accomplished in the wizarding community.

"Very good, Mr. Potter," Moody said. His voice was a low growl, but his mouth remained curled upward.

"How do you know who I am?" James said, bewildered.

Moody let out a small, harsh laugh. "I have been watching all of you ever since you arrived here. I know all about every single one of you; it is amazing how much information one can gather by simply taking in words that others speak. You all need to be more careful. Words into the ears of a dangerous enemy can leave you for dead."

There was an uncomfortable silence. Lily was slightly red, as if ashamed for not paying more attention.

"How do we know that this is really you?" Marcella spoke up, a slight waver in her voice. "Anyone with Polyjuice Potion or the right disguise…"

"Right you are," Moody growled, though he had a genuinely satisfied gleam in his eyes. "Very good, Ms. Greenwald. Constant vigilance." He did not answer her question, but pulled out his wand. A silvery dragon emerged from the tip of it, its misty scales gleaming in the scant sunlight of the alleyway, rearing its head and thrashing its tail. And with a wave of his wand, it was gone.

"Patronus," he said simply, tucking his wand swiftly back into his robes. "If you don't know how to use the charm I suggest learning it, fast." He paused. His right hand reached for his robes – for a split second Sirius thought Moody was taking out his wand again, but instead his fingers grasped a flask that hung at his hip. Moody lifted the flask to his mouth and dumped the contents into his mouth. Faye winced as he slammed the flask back onto his hip.

"One more thing," Moody said, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. "I would appreciate it if Mr. Black did not try to attack me any more; I may have to hurt him more the next time around."

Sirius's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I may not have tried to attack you," he said mockingly, "if you hadn't been sneaking around like some spy."

Moody's sneer disappeared, to be replaced by a very ugly look indeed. He glared right into Sirius's eyes with contempt. "Spy," he spat. "Choose your words carefully, Mr. Black. They may be the last you ever speak."

"Are you threatening me?" Sirius said incredulously.

Moody ignored him.

"Are you?" Sirius asked again, this time forcefully jabbing his wand, almost touching Moody's forehead.

Moody's eyes narrowed, but he did not flinch. "You may call me 'sir'," he growled.

"And you may call me anything but Mr. Black, sir," Sirius said, gnashing his teeth.

"It'll be Mr. Black, as it were," Moody said, the twisted smile returning. "I should think that you are proud enough of where you come from."

Sirius stood there, so furious he could not utter a sound.

"Sir," Lily spoke up.

Moody diverted his attention and now turned to look at her. "What is it, Ms. Evans? Oh, and lower your wands, all of you." Everyone did as they were told immediately, except Sirius, who lowered his wand very slowly and reluctantly, the tip of it almost scraping Moody's coat.

"Sir, if I may ask, what are you doing here in Diagon Alley?" Lily asked breathlessly. "I thought Dumbledore was supposed to show us to Headquarters?"

"He is," Moody answered calmly. He offered no further explanation.

There was a moment of tense silence. Sirius glared at Moody, hatred still filling his body. He could not understand why Moody had taken such an immediate disliking to him.

"So if you're not here to show us to the Order, then what are you doing here?" Sirius asked roughly.

Moody glanced at Sirius carelessly. "I'm here on my own accord," he answered.

There was a moment of silence.

"Sir," Remus spoke up.

"Ah, Mr. Lupin, who first noticed I was following you. Shrewd eye, boy."

"Thank you," Remus said, suppressing a smile. "I was wondering whether you were in the Order?"

"I will get to know all of you much more personally," Moody said without pleasure in his voice. "In fact, I will be doing your training in the Order."

"No!" Sirius blurted out.

Moody swung around and faced him, a mocking smile on his face. "What was that, Mr. Black?"

"Nothing, sir," Sirius said, words teeming with sarcasm.

"Excellent," Moody growled. He readjusted his bowler hat so that it covered once more a good part of his face. "Albus."

Sirius immediately turned; Professor Dumbledore was striding up to them, his robes swishing in the damp air. He had a smile of serenity on his face. Old, worn wizards that were slumped on the side of the street looked at him, and some showed emotion, while some offered a crooked smile.

"Hello Alastor," Dumbledore said, smiling. He sounded neither surprised nor shocked that Moody was there. "Come to see the new recruits for yourself?"

"Yes Albus," Moody said. "I highly commend your choices, for the most part."

Sirius narrowed his eyes.

"Since you're here I will now be going," Moody said, moving back into the alleyway. "Good day." They heard a _crack_, and he disapparated.

"Glad to see you all could make it," Dumbledore said, surveying the seven of them. "I hope Alastor did not scare you, he does this every year to the new recruits."

"No, not at all," Sirius muttered.

"Excellent," Dumbledore said, beaming. "Really, this is the most recruits that we've ever had sign up! I speak for the entire Order when we say we are quite excited. Now, shall we walk?"

Wordlessly, the seven followed Dumbledore out of Knockturn Alley, out of Diagon Alley, and into the Leaky Cauldron. "Hello Tom," Dumbledore said as they entered.

Tom looked at the group, surprised. "Back so soon?"

"We missed your place," Peter said, smiling.

"You're welcome any time," Tom said. "Are you staying?"

"Thank you," Dumbledore smiled. "We would love to stay, but we have some business to attend to. Some other time."

He led the group outside into the streets of London, and guided them to the nearest underground railway station.

"We're going by public transportation, sir?" Marcella asked.

"Oh yes," Dumbledore said. "We can get to the Headquarters easier this way, as having you apparate to an unknown place that you have never been to before could cause some complications, including you getting lost or splinched."

"Where exactly is Headquarters?" Remus asked.

Dumbledore smiled. "It is in a house that I used to own. I bought it when I was younger – it is near the neighborhood where I grew up." There was a flicker of sadness in his eyes, but it disappeared quickly. "I no longer live in it now, of course. It has been given many protections, as many as the varied and talented members of the Order could put on it without burying the house with magic. I myself am the secret-keeper, thus why I will be the one showing you where it is concealed."

"Professor, who else is in the Order?" Lily asked. "We know you are, and Mr. Moody, and – and that's about it."

"You will meet them all at Headquarters," Dumbledore said.

"All of them?" James asked.

"Yes, all," Dumbledore said calmly. "Consider it a reception, in your honor."

"Wow," Peter said. The train slowed down and came to a halt.

"This is our stop," Dumbledore said, rising.

It must have looked extremely odd to others, Remus thought, as they walked through the railway station and through the streets. Dumbledore strode neatly along in his swishing robes. While Marcella and Peter had on their muggle clothes, the rest of them had on robes as well. If they had been conspicuous in Knockturn Alley, Remus couldn't even imagine how strange they looked among the crowds here.

They followed Dumbledore into a suburban area, and walked through streets with houses packed around every corner. Lily spied a playground along a street corner and smiled bitterly, thinking of Snape and her sister. She wondered if Dumbledore had ever played on that playground, if he had ever lost his best friend to the wrong side, if he ever had gotten into arguments with his siblings over magic.

They arrived at the middle of a short street called Arundel Close. Large farmhouses surrounded them, but they were nevertheless in a mostly suburban neighborhood with small, two-story houses. The area was not in central London, and thus was not nearly as crowded. Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"The location of the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix is at number nine, Arundel Close," he said, quietly but clearly.

At once a house appeared between eight and ten. Faye, Peter and Lily, who were not familiar with the Fidelius charm, looked surprised. Dumbledore stepped up to the door and knocked.

The door was immediately thrown wide open, and a beaming girl with bright, white-blonde hair and gray-blue eyes was staring straight at them. "Hi!" she said, obviously excited. "Oh my, you all have grown so much! Remus, Faye, great to see you again!"

Remus stared. "Marlene?" He had known her for one year in his fifth year, when she had been Head Girl and he and Faye had been Prefects. "Wow! I didn't know you were here."

She laughed. "Come on in, everyone! We welcome you to Headquarters! The others are so excited, we're all so excited every year for new recruits. I know that Emmeline is so, so anxious to see who exactly joined."

"You mean you don't know yet?" Faye asked curiously.

"Of course not," Marlene said as she led them into the house. "This information is top secret; the only ones that have known are Dumbledore, of course, along with the Longbottoms and Moody. The rest of us have been waiting with bated breath. We couldn't wait to see you for ourselves."

Sirius looked around the house curiously. From the outside the house had appeared ordinary, but inside it was much better than expected, due to alterations from Dumbledore. The house was furnished sparingly, and the decoration was kept simple, but it was easy to see how it functioned as headquarters. There were spacious rooms with couches and chairs, and every piece of furniture served its purpose. The house, though bare, still felt warm and inviting.

Marlene guided them through the central hallway to a room that stood on the very end. Smiling widely, she opened the door and let them in. They were instantly surrounded by smiling people. Some faces were familiar, and some were strange, but they all had a quality of genuine pride.

"It's great to see you," Emmeline Vance said to Sirius and James, smiling. Hers was the first face James had run to when they saw the members of the Order. Emmeline's hair was pulled up into a severe bun, which made her features look sharper than they had remembered. "I thought you two would make it here, and it seems all these years you haven't changed a bit."

"Of course not," James said cheekily, smiling.

"You look great," Sirius said sincerely.

"Do I?" Emmeline said, laughing. James detected a tiny spark of bitterness in her voice. "That's the first time I've heard that in a while, I've been too busy…but please, don't listen to me. You will both do great."

As she walked away, James saw Hagrid, and eagerly scuttled over to say hello. Sirius looked curiously around the room. He spotted Dumbledore talking to another man that looked disturbingly similar to him. He saw Professor McGonagall, who gave him a curt nod from across the room. Then, he saw a couple that looked to be in their thirties who were talking to Moody. The woman, who had a cheery face, caught Sirius looking and smiled at him. Sirius smiled reluctantly back.

"Alright, alright that's enough," Moody's voice came from the corner of the room. He had been sitting there with some of the older-looking members of the Order. They were the only ones that did not get up when the new members came through the door but, rather, sat with their lips tightly pressed together. Moody stood up as everyone became silent and turned their attention to him.

"Welcome," he said in a low growl, without any gracious tone in his voice. "To the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. You will be familiarizing yourselves with this place over the next however many days you choose to remain here."

There was an uncomfortable silence. "He's not that bad, really," Marlene whispered to Sirius, smiling reassuringly.

"You sure about that?" Sirius whispered back grimly.

"Now, I suppose, is the time when we shall introduce ourselves," Moody said, glancing at his watch. "Oh, and make it quick."

There was another silence. "I guess I'll start," a kind-looking silver-haired wizard standing next to Moody said in a slightly wheezy voice. He had a small smile on his face. "I'm Elphias Doge. I've been in the Order since Dumbledore started it – we've known each other since we were both in school. Welcome; it's great to have you here." He readjusted the shockingly orange hat on top of his head – Sirius thought the hat looked rather stupid, and, from the grimace Moody had on his face, Sirius thought that was the one thing he and Moody had agreed on all day.

Doge looked to a man beside him. "Caradoc Dearborn," the man said, bowing. "Been a member for five years, currently work in the Ministry. Personally escaped death four times, and hoping to work that number into the range of Dorcas." A twisted smile lighted up his handsome face. Lily shuddered slightly.

"Next," Moody said sharply. "Quickly now, we don't have all day."

"Edgar Bones," the next one said, and Lily recognized the Ravenclaw Head Boy from her fifth year. "Been in the Order since I graduated, current Ministry Auror trainee, hoping to protect my family members in the War."

"Marlene McKinnon," Marlene said brightly. Her face seemed to be the only happy, genuinely joyous face in the entire room. "Joined the Order with Edgar, part-time journalist for the Prophet, and – oh, I'm just really glad to see you all here, welcome!"

Moody shot her a weary look that was both exasperation and admiration. He said nothing.

"Sturgis Podmore," said a man who was dressed in a smart suit that did not fit his loose hairstyle and dingy mustache. His hair was a thick straw color, and his jaw was distinctly square. "In the Order for two years, current Ministry employee."

Beside Sturgis were twin brothers who Remus recognized as brilliant students that had graduated three years before them. "Gideon and Fabian Prewett," Gideon said, looking at the new faces calmly. "Been Order members for three years. Collectively have turned in quite a couple of Death Eaters."

"Benjy Fenwick," the next one said, offering a small smile. Lily remembered the former Prefect of her first through third years. His choppy brown hair slipped lazily over a pair of brilliant, shrewd yellow eyes. "In the Order for four years, current Gringotts liaison."

"Emmeline Vance," Emmeline said. "Joined the Order with Benjy, current attorney-at-large."

"Dedalus Diggle," a short, excitable-looking man piped up. "Been in the Order since Albus started it."

"Aberforth Dumbledore," the next man said curtly, standing up from his chair. Sirius almost jumped in his seat – he was unaware that Dumbledore's brother was in the Order. He caught Marcella's quizzical look and knew that she too was surprised. Upon further inspection, however, Sirius noticed that Aberforth bore an uncanny resemblance to Dumbledore, especially in his brilliant blue eyes. "Been in the Order since Albus started it."

"Arabella Doreen Figg," a shrewish, thin woman said as Aberforth sat down. "I am Albus's liaison to the Muggle world."

"Hold on," Sirius cut in. "Are you a witch?"

Mrs. Figg drew herself up to her full height. "I am a Squib."

"Then how do you - "

"She is every bit as valuable as any of us," Dumbledore interrupted calmly. Sirius closed his mouth.

"Minerva McGonagall," Professor McGonagall said next, a hint of a smile on her face. "I have been in the Order since Albus started it, and of course, as you all know, I am also an employee at Hogwarts."

"Rubeus Hagrid," a familiar voice spoke up. Hagrid was beaming at all of them with pride. "I knew yeh would all make it here! There ain't nothin' ever ter stop yeh from doing what yeh want! I told Albus, I told him you'd all sign!"

"Wrap it up," Moody growled.

"Right," Hagrid said, looking a little flustered. "Uh, Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of the Keys and the Grounds a' Hogwarts."

A woman whom Sirius had not yet seen stepped out from behind Hagrid. Sirius was sure he had never seen her in his life, but he involuntarily shuddered as her eyes scanned the room. Her short hair was pulled into a severe, slick ponytail at the back of her head. Her face was thin, but not gaunt – it was angular and pronounced, confident and powerful. Her chin was held up high and Sirius saw on her neck a thin but visible scar that ran down to her collarbone. In her right hand she twirled her wand, as if carelessly, but Sirius saw how swift she was with her movements, how steady and sure her every step was.

"Dorcas Meadows," she said. Her voice was quiet, but had power stamped in every syllable. "Part-time Auror, full-time Order member for five years. I remember each and every Death Eater I have fought."

She looked at Sirius for a moment; her eyes were such a pale blue they almost looked white. Sirius felt a small smile curl his lips, not in fear, but in admiration.

The couple who Sirius had spotted earlier how stepped together to join Moody, who had moved to directly face the seven new recruits. "Alice and Frank Longbottom," the woman said, smiling. "We've been in the Order since Albus started it. Welcome."

"We have been Aurors for years," Frank said. His voice was quiet and gentle, yet deadly serious. "We have both faced Voldemort face-to-face. Erase all, if any, pretenses of glory in this war. We work underground, not for us, but for the future of the wizarding world. I am sure that you all will do just fine."

"And I," Moody said, "am Alastor Moody. That's 'sir' to you seven. If you have any problems, you come to me. Whenever Albus is away, I am in charge. If I am away, the Longbottoms are in charge. I don't expect all of us four to not be here, ever." His voice was hard, but for the first time since James had seen him, he looked mildly satisfied.

His eyes roved to stare straight at Sirius. "I expect all of you to live up to the demands of being here," he said quietly. "But for now – welcome to the Order. You will know in time whether or not you belong here."


	65. I Don't Trust Him

A/N: Hi there! It should be very surprising that I've gotten a chapter up so quickly :) I've had a surprising amount of time to write (or maybe it's because I'm too into the story!). Either way, I've really been enjoying it.

This chapter is really more of a set-up chapter than anything else. I think here is where you will see things progressing, getting a bit darker. The information here is dense, but vital to the rest of the plot. It's also a shorter chapter. Enjoy!

And of course, where would I be without my fabulous readers and reviewers? Thank you all so much for your support! Personal thanks to MyPenIsSharperThanYourSword, Contorce, meiscool2, an onymous, Nina Alloway, dawnsflame (wow, that's really flattering, thanks!), Phanthom, and chocoluvr! You guys are so, so amazing :D

* * *

_June, 1978_

* * *

I Don't Trust Him

"It hasn't been easy," Emmeline shrugged. James, Lily and Sirius were sitting with her, Benjy and Caradoc Dearborn at a table in the Order living room.

After the initial introductions, Moody was called away on official Ministry orders. "Do not leave until I get back," he had said to the seven of them as he walked out, bowler hat pulled down over one eye. "Even if it means all night." Since then, most of the Order members stayed around to talk to the new members, and Alice Longbottom brought out food and refreshments from the kitchen. The whole event felt more like a party than anything else.

"What do you mean?" James asked curiously.

"Oh come on, James," Emmeline said exasperatedly. "Everything we've been through…it's just one battle after another. I'll tell you, I was so excited to join when I did. And don't get me wrong, I wouldn't quit for the world. But it's been tough. If you tell me that you think this will be easy I swear I will curse you in the face."

"Our lives are completely dedicated to the Order," Caradoc said. "I've already had my sister killed – she was in the Order too, by the way." His eyes flickered slightly, but his voice remained steady. "It was the worst day of my life. I never felt so helpless. The worst of it is, I couldn't even bring myself to shed a tear for her when I saw her lifeless body."

Emmeline put her hand gently on his.

Caradoc smiled humorlessly, his eyes fixed on the table. "It was like my heart was cold; I thought I had already seen too much death to care. But the night after her funeral, I sat in my room, and I broke down like never before. Emmy and Ben were there for me, they knew what a bad state I was in."

"I'm glad we were there," Benjy said in a low whisper.

"That must have been terrible," Lily said sadly.

"It was," Caradoc said, his smile now bitter. "But you learn quickly that it simply gets worse."

"We're supposed to be an underground organization," Benjy said, leaning back in his chair. "We're supposed to be low-key and unknown, but no matter how hard we try to keep members' identities protected, it's never completely safe. We've had Death Eaters threaten our friends, our families – we've had various jobs interrupted due to Death Eater threats to our bosses, and have had to look for new ones. Who can blame them? We made the conscious choice to be here, we know what we're doing."

"Our various associations with the Ministry isn't making it any easier," Emmeline said, her face hard. "Don't get me wrong, sometimes Crouch's influence can help us. He's not the Minister – yet, but for all his power, he might as well be. For example, he can get us exemptions within the law. And many of our members work in the Ministry, and are thus closer to any new information that would otherwise be impossible to gain. Moody himself is the head of the Auror department – that's how we managed to recruit people like Dorcas. Plus, Crouch can help us to find jobs within the Ministry."

"But as always, it's a double-edged sword," Caradoc said. His face was fixed into a dark scowl. "Crouch counts on us, a lot of the time, to bail the Aurors out of trouble in a battle. Being associated with the Ministry puts a lot of our people at greater risk. Plus, with all his bloody 'obligatory action'…"

"What's that?" Sirius asked, frowning.

"If you've been reading the Prophet you'll see that Crouch is putting in many new laws," Emmeline said, her voice low. "Marlene works at the Prophet, she keeps us informed. People have less and less freedom in the courts these days – many innocent people have been put on trial and sent to Azkaban with no hope of defending themselves. He calls it 'obligatory action', due to the 'obvious dangers' of our time." She rolled her eyes. "Of course this makes it harder for us too. We have to be careful not to incriminate those that are innocent. Not to mention we have to watch out for ourselves; Crouch would just as easily throw us in Azkaban."

"No!" Lily cried in disbelief.

Benjy let out a sarcastic laugh. "Believe it, Lily; he would do anything to fool the public into thinking the war is almost over. Unfortunately, it's getting harder and harder to tell who is really innocent these days," he said, shaking his head. "Whenever they're arrested, people claim they were being tortured or threatened, or even under the Imperius curse, which are all very plausible."

"The Imperius curse?" Lily gasped. "But that's an Unforgivable Curse, it's illegal!"

"You think the Death Eaters care?" Benjy said quietly. "They're willing to kill on sight, it's really amusement for them at this point. They prefer to watch people squirm. Putting innocent people under the curse and having them do the work is another cowardly way of avoiding Azkaban."

"It may be cowardly, but it's smart," Caradoc said darkly.

Sirius let out a laugh, thinking of his cousins, who he wouldn't exactly qualify as "smart". Emmeline looked at him in surprise. "Oh, sorry," Sirius said, genuinely startled at himself. "It's not that I find it funny or anything, I -"

"It's okay," Caradoc cut in. "We understand."

Benjy smiled, and stood up. "I'm going to go get some refreshments. Anyone want anything?"

"Sure," Emmeline said. "I'll help you. We'll be right back."

As they left, James watched them sadly. He saw and heard clearly the bitterness in the three Order veterans, and felt a pang in his heart. He had known Emmeline when she was as joyous and hopeful as Marlene. Four years later, he felt like he had never known her at all. The way she talked about the Order had such a helpless tone that he shuddered involuntarily every time she spoke.

Was this what they were meant to become? Was this what people change into after they've been in the midst of a war for too long? Was he helping the future of the Wizarding world, or becoming one step closer to losing hope himself?

* * *

It was one o'clock in the morning, and most of the Order had left. The only members that remained, aside from the seven required to stay, were Frank, Alice, and Elphias Doge.

"You all can go home if you want," Peter said, yawning. He was slumped in a chair, clearly trying not to doze off. "We can wait for Moody."

"Don't worry about it," Alice said, offering a smile. "Besides the fact that Alastor gave us strict orders not to leave you seven in here alone…"

"What, are we going to blow the place up?" Sirius muttered.

"Standard procedure," Doge said, frowning at Sirius.

"Don't you people ever sleep?" Sirius said grumpily. He was slumped on a couch, his hair almost as wild-looking as James's hair, and he resented the fact that Frank, Alice and Elphias all looked fully calm and awake.

"We learned, as you will learn, to simply need less of it," Frank said, mouth twitching.

"Ha ha," Sirius groaned.

Marcella was on the couch next to Sirius – she leaned over and hit him playfully on the head.

"What was that for?" Sirius scowled, looking up at her.

"This is what you wanted, Sirius, waiting up all night for Moody" she said teasingly. "It would do you no good to complain now."

"I'm not complaining," he said, grinning.

She smiled. "Same old Sirius."

"The one and only," he laughed.

Elsewhere in the room, Faye had fallen asleep on Remus's shoulder. Doge walked by and looked at them with an eyebrow raised. "What, are you two a couple too?" He jerked his head over to the corner of the room where James and Lily were holding hands, their foreheads touching, whispering to one another.

"Oh, no," Remus whispered fervently. "No – well it's complicated, see, we were, but then we weren't, and -"

"I see," Doge said, cutting him off.

"Yes, sorry about that," Remus said, feeling embarrassed. "It's just -"

"No explanations are necessary," Doge said. "You are a werewolf, Mr. Lupin?"

"Yes," Remus said hesitantly.

Doge gave him a searching look that was neither approving nor disapproving. "I see," he said again, and walked off.

Remus barely had time to think about his conversation with Doge than when Peter sat down on the couch beside him. "Hey Remus," he said.

"Hi," Remus said. "What's wrong? You look terribly pale."

"I'm just tired, that's all," Peter mumbled.

"Rest for a little, I suppose," Remus said, smiling. "We have a bit of time. Hey, are you thinking about what sort of job you might want while in the Order?"

"No," Peter replied, surprised. "I didn't know we were supposed to have one."

"They're not going to provide for us," Remus said jokingly. "Anyway, didn't you say you wanted to be an Auror?"

"Oh, well – not really," Peter said, now feeling embarrassed. "You see, that was only because Sirius always talked about becoming one, and it would be a really cool profession…"

"Cool," Remus said, letting out a small laugh. "Yes, that's all we cared about, wasn't it."

It wasn't a question. Peter smiled a sallow, almost-bitter smile. "Remus," he said, somewhat hesitantly.

"Yeah?"

Peter paused. "Did you ever feel left out?"

Remus looked at Peter in mild surprise. He didn't have to ask what he meant; it was a question that stuck in the back of his mind whenever the four Marauders were together. Even throughout their differences, James and Sirius were, many times, in a world of their own.

He knew that there was an understanding between those two that he could never have, but he didn't feel slighted. There were times, of course, when Remus had wondered whether he was worth anything to them. Sometimes he felt a stabbing kind of pain, knowing consciously that he was the third wheel. But he knew what they had done for him, and he knew he meant just as much to them, even if it was on a different level.

"All the time," Remus answered quietly. There was no defeat in his voice, no jealousy, no bitterness. It was an admittance to what he had always known was true.

"I just feel…invisible…sometimes," Peter murmured.

"Don't think like that," Remus said, his voice reassuring. "You're not invisible to us, you know we'd do anything for you. You're family to me, to them."

"Yeah," Peter whispered, more to himself.

Remus forced a smile. "If it makes you feel any better, I have felt all of what you feel."

Peter smiled sadly. "It doesn't. But thank you."

* * *

An hour later, Sirius was beginning to feel the embers of anger flaring. He was tired, having woken up ridiculously early to catch the boat out of Hogwarts in the first place. He had been harassed by Moody and wandpoint, and had endured a party that was as tiring as it was relaxing.

"When the hell is he getting back?" Sirius growled.

Doge looked at him with a frown. "Soon, Mr. Black. Please be patient, Alastor is a busy man."

"Yeah? Well so am I," Sirius snapped.

"Sirius, please," Marcella said sharply.

He shut his mouth for a moment, but then burst out, "Where the hell is he?"

The door suddenly slammed; everyone looked up to see Moody walk through the door. Faye jolted out of her sleep, and Marcella straightened up from her stance on the couch. Moody took off his hat and gingerly peeled his coat off. His right shoulder was still heavily bandaged. "I'm right here, Mr. Black," he growled. "I apologize to keep you all waiting, but we have rules to go through before I let you go for the night."

"Shall we go?" Doge asked Moody.

"If you would like," Moody responded. "There would be no use in staying."

Doge bowed. "Good night then, Alastor." He removed his bright orange hat from a tabletop and disappeared into the hallway.

Frank and Alice smiled at the recruits scattered across the room. "Goodnight to you all," Frank said. "And again, welcome to the Order." They too then disappeared into the hallway.

"Alright, gather around," Moody said loudly. "Evans, Potter, come here." When everyone was gathered around the couch that Sirius and Marcella were sitting on, Moody leaned against the nearest table and looked at all of them.

"First let me begin with the basics," he said, voice low. "As you already know, I will be training you for the next however many months you need to be trained. You need to complete the training sessions and succeed. Any questions?"

"Where will we be training?" Marcella asked.

"Here," Moody said, a smile twisting onto his face. "But if you're lucky you may get to do field work. On weekdays and weekends that I assign, you need to be at Headquarters at seven a.m. sharp, or I will make sure that you have less sleep the next night."

"Seven a.m.?" Lily said weakly.

Moody swirled to her. "Is that a complaint?" he growled. "I can gladly make it five if you'd like."

"No, no of course not," Lily said hastily.

"Good," Moody said. "Next order of business. I am sure very few of you have quarters of your own, since you just left Hogwarts today. You are free to live wherever your want, but if you should ever need quarters, the Order will provide them, and there are here, upstairs. There have been many a house destroyed by Death Eaters through the course of the Order's time; we know this will be necessary. For tonight, I suggest you all stay here. Your luggage has been brought in for you and is upstairs in the bedrooms."

"Sir, who supervises the people living at Headquarters?" Remus asked.

"I do, Mr. Lupin," Moody answered.

Sirius's jaw tightened.

"As you may already have seen, many Order members hold jobs outside of what they do here. There is no reason you should not pursue a career, but just remember, the balance will not be easy. Choose wisely, and I will suggest, choose soon. If you are looking to work within the Ministry, come speak with me. You will not have training tomorrow, or rather, today; it is a Friday. You will have this day and the weekend to get your affairs in order."

"Finally," Moody said, now a hard glare coming into his eyes, "there is one thing you all must do. And that's to follow orders." He shrugged his bandaged shoulder, as if in warning. "You will do what I say," he said, voice dangerously low. "Because I know better than any of you. If you want to stay alive, you follow my orders. If you want to die, that is your own choice. Constant vigilance," he said softly, and moved away from the table. "You are dismissed."

"Sir -" Lily started.

"You will find everything you need upstairs," Moody said from the doorway, as if he knew what Lily was thinking. He disappeared out of sight.

"He's insane," Sirius growled.

Remus smiled sarcastically. "True as that may be, he's also a bloody genius. Have you been keeping up with his exploits? He's fought more Death Eaters than you can count."

"I don't care," Sirius said hotly. "I want to know why he has it out against me."

"Oh, stop thinking you're so special," Lily snapped tiredly. "If you haven't noticed, he's not exactly peachy to the rest of us. And arguing with him probably isn't going to help either."

Sirius glared at her.

"Let's all just go to bed, alright?" Marcella yawned. "I'm exhausted."

There were no arguments from anyone else. The seven ascended the stairs, and found their respective rooms that held their luggage. After he had said goodnight to everyone, Sirius closed the door to his room and sat down on his bed.

"_Lumos_," he whispered. The tip of his wand illuminated the room, and Sirius looked around. It was a small room, very bare, devoid of all decoration save for a single oval rug that lay under his feet. There was a small closet in the corner, next to where his luggage stood.

"We are definitely not in Hogwarts anymore," Sirius said to himself. For a moment, he thought about barging into James's room, but then realized that James was probably asleep. Sighing, Sirius flopped down on the bed, not bothering to change into his pajamas, and pretty soon he too fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore sat at his desk, poring over a large pile of papers. At the top of the neat stack was a recent edition of the Daily Prophet. A picture of Barty Crouch Sr. at the head of the Ministry legislature was in the middle of the page, with the associating headline: "Crouch Calls for Harsher Punishment", and in smaller print, was a quote from Crouch: "We will not back down! We will show them who controls the Wizarding World."

The spiral staircase began to move. Dumbledore looked up curiously. "Hello Alastor," he said as Moody stepped off the staircase. He sounded mildly surprised. "I was not expecting you this evening."

"Forgive me, Albus," Moody said. "I hope I am not interrupting your work."

"No, not at all," Dumbledore said pleasantly. "Please, sit."

Moody obliged. He removed his bowler hat and took a quick swig from his hip flask.

"Now, what is it that you wish to discuss?" Dumbledore asked, pushing his piled of papers to the side of his desk. He folded his hands on the table, and focused his attention on Moody.

"The recruits," Moody said, voice low.

Dumbledore's blue eyes flickered in the candlelight. "Yes," he said softly. "I thought it might be that."

"Albus, how much do you trust these kids?" Moody asked bluntly.

"With my life," Dumbledore said simply. "You know I would never bring in recruits I didn't have full confidence in."

"I am just as pleased as you that so many decided to join this year," Moody said, his eyes narrowed. "However, my first reaction to these kids are not nearly so pleasant."

Dumbledore looked at him patiently; Moody stood up abruptly from his chair and started pacing.

"Let me start with Potter, simply because we all know his parents," Moody growled. "He seems like a nice enough kid, but nice isn't going to cut it. From what I've heard, he's talented enough, but he's so up to his goddamn neck in puppy love he can't see straight."

Moody whirled around. "Which leads me to Evans. Same story as Potter – talented, affable, though quite emotional at times, which can be dangerous. Has potential, if she can get her mind off Potter."

"Peter Pettigrew," he said, teeth gnashing. "Completely useless. Can't even apparate properly."

He whirled around again. "Faye Taten. Also useless, not nearly as brave as Evans or Greenwald. Her attitude is, I suppose, acceptable; she's like Marlene McKinnon."

"Which brings me to Marcella Greenwald," Moody growled. "I like her. Perhaps not as intelligent as Evans, but she makes up for it in spirit and quick thinking. Also a brave fighter; I consider it a good choice."

Moody stopped pacing and turned right to face Dumbledore, who was looking at him keenly through his half-moon lenses. "Remus Lupin," he said, voice dangerously low. "A werewolf, Albus? Is that the best you could find this year? How the hell am I supposed to be responsible for a werewolf?"

"I expect you to figure that out," Dumbledore said calmly.

"There's no doubt that he's a smart kid," Moody said, jaws clenched. "Probably the most disciplined out of all of them. But he's a danger to us all on full moon nights, useless to us the days after it. The smartest thing to do is to let him loose on Death Eaters during full moon."

"Alastor," Dumbledore said sharply.

"He's a liability," Moody growled.

"He's an Order member," Dumbledore leveled. "You know what he's been through. He's survived more in his eighteen years of life than most do a lifetime."

Moody looked at Dumbledore, eyes dark. "He won't be able to find a job," Moody said. "The Death Eaters will find out eventually what he is, and they will blackmail him. No one in their right mind hires a werewolf these days; Greyback is terrorizing the community."

"He will try," Dumbledore said quietly. "And I suggest you help him to the best of your ability. This is a man who has fought every type of prejudice, who has yet to give up on himself. I should think that you would be proud to have such a man in the Order fighting for us."

Moody didn't speak for a moment. His eyes glittered in the candlelight.

"If that is all, Alastor - "

"Not nearly," Moody said, voice steely. "I saved the best for last, of course."

Dumbledore looked at him expectantly. "Sirius Black?"

"Black!" Moody barked. He started pacing again, this time with heightened fervor. "Where do I start with that little sonofa - "

"Shouldn't you get to know him better before you attack his character?" Dumbledore cut in.

"No," Moody growled. "I've learned all I need to know by following them in the morning. As soon as they arrived at Diagon Alley he antagonized Evans. He led them all into Knockturn Alley, without giving a thought in hell about any possible dangers he could have put them in. He tried to attack me in such a stupid way it would never work on a Death Eater."

Moody stopped pacing and slammed his fist on Dumbledore's table. "He is an idiot," Moody said, teeth bared. "I can deal with idiots, but he's also from the Black family. No one trustworthy or noble ever came out of that family, Albus. They're a bunch of stinking cowards."

Dumbledore looked at Moody calmly. His expression had not changed. "Alastor, I hope you will reserve such judgement for a while," he said solemnly. "Sirius Black has shown tremendous talent at Hogwarts."

"Talents for _what_, Albus?" Moody said indignantly, straightening up. "I heard what he did to that other boy, that Snape boy – you call that talent?"

"I'm not saying his record has been spotless," Dumbledore said. "But neither were any of the other students."

"The other students didn't take such pleasure in murder," Moody growled, voice low. "He has no regard for human life. He has no regard for consequences. An idiot, I can work with. Someone who has no regard for anything except his own goddamn amusement – that I can't work with."

"Give him a chance," Dumbledore said quietly. "I am not budging on this – I want him in the Order, and will not see him kicked out. He is not perfect, but he is talented in many respects, and I know that he wants to do the right thing."

"He comes from a family of insolent cowards, many of whom are Death Eaters," Moody snapped. "Blood runs thick, Albus. From what I've heard his little brother is all set to join Voldemort. How do you know he's not just a spy for the other side?"

"I trust him."

Moody looked at Dumbledore. "I don't trust him."

Dumbledore sighed. "There is no way I can convince you," he said wearily. "But as a favor, do this for me. Give him a chance to gain your trust. He has spent his entire time at Hogwarts trying to disassociate himself with the background he has been raised in."

"He should try harder," Moody muttered.

"Treat him like the other recruits, Alastor," Dumbledore said. His voice was soft, but Moody knew it was a command. "In time he will prove himself to you."

"And if he doesn't?"

Dumbledore smiled. "He will."

Moody still looked uncertain, but he recognized the note of finality in Dumbledore's voice. He picked up his hat from the chair and pulled it over his head. "Goodbye Albus," he said, and disappeared as the spiral staircase swirled out of sight.


	66. Starting Again

A/N: It took me longer to get this up, but what can I say - I just started college! I've been so busy that I've barely had time to write, so it usually is a couple of lines at a time. If this chapter seems more disjointed than normal, and not my best, well, you know why :)

Another transition chapter here - the real drama/action will start next chapter. And keep in mind that what the characters say may not be my personal beliefs, before the attacks start coming on my point of view of life.

A special thanks to Satan's Angelic Mistress, whose critique I have taken to heart and will try to fix in later revisions!

Again, a huge, huge thank you to all the people that have read and reviewed! Thanks to .KeiraGrange., meiscool2, an onymous, Captain-Beatty, austenfan92, Nina Alloway, Kyra Ryuiko, MyPenIsSharperThanYourSword, chocoluvr, ElementUchihaMaster, Phanthom, AliceIsLost, and Satan's Angelic Mistress. Without you guys I'd be totally lost!

* * *

_June, 1978_

* * *

Starting Again

Sirius felt himself backed against the corner of a street in Knockturn Alley. Trembling, he reached into his pocket for his wand, but he couldn't find it. "Damn it," he whispered to himself; he had never felt so defenseless.

He crouched down in the alleyway, his back against the brick wall of a dead end as a shadow approached from around the corner. "Shit," he muttered. He spied some stray rocks sitting at the right side of where he crouched, and he inched toward them, eyes still on the corner of the alley.

The shadow approached ominously, and Sirius saw a foot clad in a worn brown boot before he grasped the rocks firmly in his hands and raised his arms.

All he heard was a low, humorless growl before he felt himself tackled to the ground. He was unable to tell what was happening for a moment, but the next second, he saw Moody breathing over him, his face arranged into a malicious scowl.

"Black," he snarled, grabbing the font of his shirt with such force Sirius gasped for breath. "I will make sure you die, right here, right now."

"What did I ever do to you?" Sirius yelled.

Moody gave no answer. He raised his wand…

"Sirius, wake the hell up!"

Sirius's eyes shot open. Marcella was crouched on his bed, her face so close to his that he could feel her breath on him. She was punching and hitting him in the chest.

"Ow! Okay, I'm up!" Sirius yelled. He sat up so fast that he hit Marcella in the forehead accidentally with his shoulder. She fell off the bed and landed with a thud on the floor.

Sirius flew off the bed and crouched down beside her, dressed in nothing but blue boxers with rubber ducks on them. She glared at him and punched him on the shoulder. "What the hell was that for?" she snapped, massaging her forehead.

"Ow!" Sirius protested. "It was an accident, I swear!"

She scowled. "Not much of an apology."

"Apology?" Sirius said indignantly. "You nearly took out my lungs! What the hell were you doing, punching me in my sleep?"

"I was trying to wake you up!" Marcella said, pulling herself up from the floor. "I mean honestly – you were doing weird things in your sleep. Were you having a nightmare or something? You were yelling."

Sirius didn't answer her.

"I'll take that as a yes," Marcella said. She brushed the hair out of her face, and extended a hand to Sirius. Sirius looked at her, grabbed her hand, and pulled himself up.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking at the red area now appearing on her forehead.

"It's not a problem," she said, waving her free hand away. "Are you okay?"

Sirius forced a smile. "Bad dream, that's all."

She looked at him carefully, then glanced down at her hand, which Sirius was still holding onto.

"Oh," he said hastily, pulling it away. "So what were you doing in my room?

"The others sent me up here. Everyone else is up already; James, Lily and Remus left to go seek out careers, the motivated people they are." She smiled. "Lily told me to tell you that it's our precious time to go seek a job, so we should be taking advantage of it instead of sleeping on our lazy backs."

"Sounds like Lily," Sirius muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Marcella called.

"Nothing," Sirius said quickly. "Good excuse, but that wasn't the reason you came into my room."

Marcella looked mildly surprised. "Enlighten me," she said, amused.

"You wanted to see my beautiful body," Sirius said cheekily, beating his fists on his naked chest.

She raised an eyebrow. "Actually, I came in to make fun of your obnoxious boxers. I thought rubber ducks were solely a muggle commodity?"

"They were a present!" Sirius protested.

"Sure," Marcella said, rolling her eyes. "Now can you get dressed already? We have to get moving. Some of us are going to use this day to actually find a job."

"Alright alright, hold your hippogriffs," Sirius grumbled. He pulled out trousers and a shirt from his luggage, and proceeded to put them on. Marcella glanced over at him several times, with a slightly furtive look on her face. "All done," he announced.

"Good job," she said, grinning. "Now can we go already?"

"Sure. And Marci?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

She smiled. "I was just kidding, you don't have to be."

They walked out of Sirius's room and headed for the stairs. "Hey," Sirius said, as they were walking down. "Where's my apology?"

"You don't get one," Marcella said seriously. "You see, you've had those punches coming for a long time…" She suddenly laughed and ran down the rest of the stairs, leaving him standing, a bit shell-shocked.

"Well good morning, or should I say, afternoon," Faye said, laughing as Sirius walked into the dining room.

"What time is it?" Sirius asked.

"Noon," Peter answered promptly. "I'm sure if James didn't tell Marci to wake you up you'd have been up there the whole day."

"And neither Peter or I wanted the task of waking you up," Faye said, grinning.

"So it was me who took on the job," Marcella said jokingly, emerging from the kitchen with a plate in her hand. She shoved it at Sirius, who saw on the plate a neatly cut sandwich and a hard-boiled egg.

"Thanks," Sirius said. "I'm starved."

"Don't thank me, thank Faye," Marcella said as he sat down with his sandwich half in his mouth. "She's the cook around here."

Faye blushed. "All in a day's work."

"Are you all staying here or are you going out?" Sirius asked, food flying out of his mouth as we spoke.

"You are disgusting," Marcella laughed. She pulled out her wand and flicked it; a handful of napkins flew and landed beside Sirius's plate. "But to answer your question, I'm going out. Dan's helping me find a job."

"Oh," Sirius said, feeling slightly deflated. "I don't really want to go to the Ministry alone…"

"Sorry," Marcella said apologetically.

"I would go with you, but I already have a job planned," Faye said. "It's near my parents' house; I set it up at Christmas vacation. I have to help pay for my dad's medical bills, and it's easier near home. In fact," she looked up at the clock on the wall. "I really should be going."

"Sirius, I'll go with you," Peter spoke up.

"You sure, Wormtail?" Sirius asked, feeling a bit unsure himself.

"Yeah, of course," Peter said, sounding excited. "I mean, I was going to stay here because I didn't know what I wanted to do at all, but I'm thinking that if I go with you I could get a better idea of what I'm looking for."

"Well…sure," Sirius said, smiling. "Yeah, that sounds good."

"Great," Marcella said, beaming. "I have to go meet Dan, but good luck!"

"I'll walk with you," Faye said. "Bye guys, I hope you find what you want!"

After they left, Peter and Sirius sat alone at the dining table. "I have to figure out how to get into the Auror department," Sirius muttered to himself as he wiped his mouth.

"Why is it so hard to find a job?" Peter asked. "I mean, shouldn't we be getting offers?"

"We will, once our N.E.W.T. scores come out," Sirius said. "It should be soon. But until then, we're on our own. Which is why I need to figure out how to get into the program…"

"Didn't Moody tell us to talk to him if we wanted a job in the Ministry?" Peter pointed out.

"I'd really rather avoid talking to him, if possible," Sirius said testily.

"Why?"

"He doesn't like me."

"How do you know?"

"I just do," Sirius said impatiently. "He – you haven't noticed that he's particularly nasty to me?"

Peter stared at him. "Well, I-I mean a bit…"

"Forget it," Sirius sighed. He reached for his wand and flicked it so that the now-empty plate floated back into the kitchen and landed on a counter. "Let's just go."

"Yeah," Peter said as Sirius stood up. He followed Sirius out of the dining room and out of Headquarters, and pulled out his wand in preparation to Apparate.

* * *

"I'm going to be a Healer," Remus said.

He, Lily and James had just walked out of the Ministry. Inside, they met with a couple of people who discussed career options with them. Lily and James were seriously considering jobs within the Ministry; James had his eyes on the Department of Magical Games and sports due to its organization of Quidditch, and Lily had her eyes on the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, though not on the Auror section. She was seriously looking into the Wizengamot and Wizengamot Administration Services, Council of Magical Law.

Remus, however, was not impressed by any job within the Ministry. He didn't want to work for Crouch, and he didn't trust the Ministry at a time like this. Plus, he would easily be kicked out if anyone found out he was a werewolf. He felt St. Mungo's would show a little more mercy.

"You said you would be," Lily said, smiling.

Remus smiled too. After all, it was what he had told McGonagall at their career discussion.

"I wish my mind was made up," Lily sighed.

"You have some time," Remus said.

"Three days," James said, laughing. "That's not a lot."

"More like two and a half," Remus said sardonically. "I'm just waiting for our N.E.W.T.s."

"Don't remind me," Lily groaned.

James and Remus laughed.

"Moony, do you mind if Lily and I go to my parents' house?" James asked. "Dumbledore sent them an owl and everything but they still wanted us to go visit them."

"No problem, I wanted to go to St. Mungo's anyway." Remus said. "Meet you back at Headquarters?"

"Of course."

After Remus left, James and Lily Apparated to James's house. Lily felt slightly nervous, but she didn't know why. She had seen James' parents quite a couple of times, and she knew they liked her, but going there this time felt different. She and James were graduates, and now this new life had many uncertainties. What made her nervous was the fact that she didn't have any idea what to expect.

"Why did they say they wanted us to come again?" Lily asked.

James shrugged. "They wanted to see us, I guess."

Lily found his hand and held onto it. He smiled at her, and squeezed it firmly.

"Hello!" a cheerful voice greeted as the door swung open. Heda the house elf was beaming at them, the loose skin on her face arranged into smiling folds.

"Hi Heda," James said, smiling. "You remember Lily, don't you?"

"Of course!" Heda nodded fervently. "Come in, please!"

Lily and James sat down in the living room, where they were happily greeted by Mr. and Mrs. Potter.

"It's great to see you both," Mrs. Potter said once she released both her son and Lily from a gripping hug. There were tears in her eyes. "I am so proud of you."

"Aw, mum," James said, but he too was beaming.

Heda brought them all some tea, and they sipped on it, laughing and talking.

"How are you both handling it?" Mr. Potter asked, setting his tea down on the table.

"It's been good so far," Lily said. "We haven't really started training yet, and just today we went to look for jobs."

"Jobs?" Mrs. Potter asked.

"Yes," Lily said, looking at them uncertainly. Both Mr. and Mrs. Potter had looks of slight apprehension on their faces.

"Is anything wrong?" James asked.

"Of course not," Mrs. Potter said. "It's just that – well, your father and I have discussed this."

James and Lily looked at each other, confused.

"We know what it's like to be in the Order," Mr. Potter said. "It's really quite time consuming – for you all, especially with training, you will be mentally and physically exhausted if you work."

"What are you saying?" James said, eyes wide.

"Your father and I are going to support you financially, James. We have plenty of funds set aside, and more than enough for us to use the rest of our lives. The rest is yours." Mrs. Potter smiled gently. "It's beyond enough money to live comfortably."

"No, no I can't," James mumbled.

"It's yours once we die anyway," Mr. Potter said.

"Dad," James said quietly.

"It's yours," Mr. Potter said again, this time firmly. "If you don't want to take it, that is your choice. But you will see, as we saw, how difficult it is to get by even without another job on your shoulders."

"Think about it, honey," Mrs. Potter said.

Lily and James looked at each other silently. Neither knew what to say.

"Dinner is ready!" Heda's voice came from the dining room, breaking the silence.

"I guess we should go eat," Mr. Potter said, standing up. Everyone else stood up as well and followed him to the dining table.

As they were eating dessert, Mrs. Potter asked James to come with her into the kitchen to prepare the chocolate eclairs. Mrs. Potter had a habit of doing this whenever she needed to talk to her son about something. "Mum, what is going on?" James asked once they were alone in the kitchen.

Mrs. Potter smiled sadly. "I don't really know how to tell you this, James."

"Tell me what?" James asked, a note of panic rising in his voice.

"Your father and I are sick."

James stared at her. "Sick?" he said after a few moments, dazed. "Let's go, I can get you to St. Mungo's, I can do side-along apparition, I can -"

"You can't do anything, James," Mrs. Potter said, cutting him off gently. "We've fought too many battles; all the spells we've taken in the chest, all the injuries we've sustained, made our bodies quite vulnerable. The Healer's don't know what is plaguing us, but he tells us it's not good, and that we may not have long to live."

"Mum," James started, but he forgot what he was going to say. He was suddenly so overwhelmed with emotion that his body seemed frozen.

"It'll be okay," Mrs. Potter said, pulling James in for a hug. There was a long silence.

"I want to believe that," James finally whispered.

Mrs. Potter hugged him tighter, and didn't say anything.

"What did your mum say to you?" Lily asked as they were walking outside of James' house. It was near midnight. The stars were brilliantly twinkling in the sky's blanket as the couple, hand in hand, wandered down the street.

James stayed silent for a while. Lily didn't prompt him; she knew he simply needed to gather his thoughts. "She said that they were sick," he said finally, very quietly.

Lily looked at him, shocked.

James smiled sadly. "They have anywhere between a day and ten years," he said. "I just don't want to think about they fact that they could be gone tomorrow."

Lily squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry," she said softly.

"I don't want your pity," James mumbled.

"It's not pity," Lily said gently. "I love you."

James closed his eyes. When he opened them, he saw Lily's green eyes smiling up at him, full of infinite warmth and support. "Thank you," he whispered.

* * *

Back at Headquarters the next morning, Sirius was pacing back and forth in the living room. He had tried to avoid for a long time the prospect of talking to Moody about becoming an Auror, but finally he seemed to be rendered helpless. He had gone to Peter to the Ministry to apply to become an Auror, but was told he had to receive his N.E.W.T.s first, as they need at least five and nothing under Exceeds Expectations. They also told him he needed to pass "a stringent series of character and aptitude tests at the Auror office", to be given out by Moody himself.

"Padfoot, you're making me nervous," Peter said, watching Sirius from the couch.

Sirius ignored him.

"Hey, is that the owl post?" Peter said, pointing at the window.

"What?" Sirius shouted. He ran to the window of Headquarters. Sure enough, seven school owls were flying through the hazy morning sky right for their house, each holding a different letter tied to its foot. Sirius threw open the window as Peter got up from the couch to help him.

"What's going on?" Remus asked as he entered the room, still in his pajamas.

"It's our N.E.W.T.s!" Sirius yelled excitedly.

"Really?" Remus said, rushing over to the other two.

"Don't try to hide it, Moony, I know you're excited!" Sirius said gleefully. "I found mine!" Without hesitation, he eagerly tore the letter open.

"How'd you do?" Remus asked hesitantly as he untied the letter from the last owl.

Sirius's eyes were still scanning the paper, but slowly, a smile of pure satisfaction crept onto his face. "Excellent," he breathed. "I now qualify to apply for the Auror program. Let's see what Moody has to say about _that_."

Remus smiled. "Congrats, mate," he said, clapping Sirius on the back. "I knew you could make it."

"Yeah, congrats," Peter chimed.

"Thanks," Sirius said, with a smug look on his face.

"Peter, how'd you do?" Remus asked.

"I'm about to find out," Peter said, laughing nervously. He found his envelope and tore it open with trembling hands.

"Well?" Sirius asked. When Peter didn't respond, Sirius snatched the parchment out of Peter's hands.

"Hey!" Peter protested, his face flushing.

"That's not bad, Wormtail," Sirius said, clapping Peter on the back. "Four N.E.W.T.s and you only failed two classes."

"That is pretty good," Remus said, nodding.

Peter turned even redder. "Thanks guys. But I can't qualify to be an Auror."

"That's okay," Remus said, reassuringly. "There are plenty of other professions that would love to hire you with those scores."

"Thanks guys," Peter said, sounding somewhat relieved.

"Yeah, of course," Sirius said. "What about you, Moony?"

Remus had already opened his letter and it was now sitting idly on the floor. Sirius picked it up as Remus looked slightly embarrassed, but mostly pleased. "Wow," Peter said in awe as he looked at it. "Seven N.E.W.T.s, and all but one of them 'outstanding'!"

"Good job mate!" Sirius said loudly, laughing his bark-like laugh. "Now we can be Aurors together, you more than qualify!"

"Sirius, you know I'm not going to be an Auror," Remus said gently.

Sirius looked slightly deflated, but he shrugged nonetheless. "Maybe you'll change your mind," he said stubbornly.

Remus laughed. "I don't think so, Padfoot. I'm applying for Healer training tomorrow; my scores have qualified me."

"Oh," Sirius said, the smile disappearing from his face.

"Glad to see that I mean so much to you, mate," Remus said jokingly. "Look, you know that being an Auror isn't what I wanted – I'm not naturally drawn to battle."

"I know," Sirius said sincerely. "And you know I'll kill anyone that tries to mess with you, right?"

Remus laughed. "Same here, Padfoot. Same."

"Glad we've got that covered then," Sirius said, grinning.

"Hey, where are James, Lily, Faye and Marcella?" Peter asked.

"James and Lily left already, I think they're on a date," Remus said, mouth twitching. "Marcella went to go visit her father and brother, and Faye is working."

"Already?" Sirius asked, eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, she starts today." Remus looked at his watch. "In fact, I think I am going to surprise her at work. What do you both have planned today?"

"I'm waiting for Moody to get back," Sirius said, part grudgingly, part gleefully. "I have to gloat in his face that I'm qualified for an Auror position."

"Sirius, be careful with your words," Remus said warningly. "Moody has a lot of power in the Ministry – he could easily deny you the position."

"Let him try," Sirius snarled.

Remus threw his hands up. "Okay, I'm just warning you. Peter, what do you have planned?"

"I have an appointment," Peter said quietly.

"For what?"

"For a job interview."

"Oh, congratulations," Remus smiled. "To where?"

"Several small jobs within Diagon Alley," Peter said. "It's not much, but…"

"It's great," Remus said. "Good job, Wormtail."

"Thanks," Peter said, smiling slightly.

"Okay, I'm going to go, but I will be back in the afternoon," Remus said, picking up his coat from the couch. "Have a good day, both of you."

Peter too left soon, and Sirius sat by himself alone on the couch, staring into space. Whenever the door opened Sirius would leap up from his seat, and when he saw that it wasn't Moody but rather another Order member passing by, he would slump back down, disappointed.

He heard the door open in the afternoon for the fifth time and looked up eagerly at the hallway. It wasn't Moody – instead, a woman moved swiftly into the room. Sirius recognized her from the first day of introductions in the Order. Just like that day, her hair was pulled into a severe ponytail, and her mouth was a firm line. She twirled a wand slowly in her right hand.

She walked over to Sirius and sat down on an armchair beside him. Her posture was relaxed, but inherently alert. Sirius had to stop himself from gaping at her in awe.

"Dorcas Meadows," she said in a crisp, quiet yet powerful voice. "You are Sirius Black, correct?"

"Yes," Sirius said hesitantly.

"Hmm," she said. Her eyes roved over his face slowly and carefully. Sirius tried to look as nonchalant as possible.

"I'm just in here waiting for Moody," Sirius offered.

"I gathered that," she said. "I am too."

"Well, I don't really know when he gets back," Sirius said, now feeling like he was rambling. "But I really need to talk to him. I'm going to become an Auror." He said the last bit with his chest puffed up in pride, as if daring her to tell him he wouldn't make it.

She didn't say anything; her gaze didn't change or falter. Sirius felt himself de-puff into silence. He slumped down slightly on the couch and didn't speak.

"If you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer them," Dorcas said after a moment.

"About what?" Sirius said, confused.

"I am a part-time Auror."

"Oh." Sirius frowned a bit, and didn't know what to say. There was another silence.

Sirius looked up and saw her glancing at him, neither disapproving nor approving, with neither interest nor disinterest. Her face was fully blank and unreadable. "I'm here to help you if you need it," she said slowly.

Sirius felt himself twitch a bit. "If you're going to tell me that it's hard work and that I couldn't possibly make it, don't bother," he said testily. "That's all I've been hearing about the Order. I'm going to make it as an Auror."

For the first time since Sirius had seen her, Dorcas laughed. It wasn't a laugh of delight or amusement, but rather one of harsh appreciation. "I am not going to doubt your will," she said, a trace of a smile lingering on her face. "Or your ability."

"What do you doubt, then?"

"Others," she said. "Those with the power to overlook will and ability."

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked, leaning forward.

"If you have been wondering why Moody treats you so harshly, it is not because you are not intelligent and able," Dorcas said, her white-blue eyes gleaming. "If you have been walking around the Order thinking this is Hogwarts, or that we are all Albus Dumbledore, well…you should know better than that."

"Is this a threat?" Sirius said hotly.

"This is a warning," Dorcas said quietly. "To tread lightly, especially around people whose respect you have not yet won."

Sirius was flabbergasted – he did not know what to say. Suddenly, a thought struck him. "Moody detests my family, doesn't he?"

She looked at him, her eyes slightly narrowed. "Even Moody does not people judge like that," she said. "It's what you've done with that background that concerns him. He sees your family in you. You are like any other Black in his eyes."

"He doesn't know me," Sirius said indignantly.

"Perhaps not," Dorcas said. "And perhaps he never truly will."

"That's not fair," Sirius exclaimed.

"The last time I used the word 'fair' in that context I was in Hogwarts," Dorcas said, smiling humorlessly.

Again, Sirius was scolded into silence.

"I want to help you," Dorcas said after a while.

Sirius was taken aback; of all the people he had expected this from, it was not her. "Why?"

"I see myself in you."

He gaped at her. "Really?"

"I was in Slytherin," Dorcas said. "I have faced the same prejudices you have, except that my family was my House. Five years later in the Order, seven years later as an Auror, and I still have to earn my respect every single time I duel because everyone expects me to change sides in the middle and join Voldemort."

Her face was arranged into a steely look so harsh Sirius wanted to back away. "He is horrid. I would never join his side because his values are not mine, and will never be mine. My family, who I have disowned, support him."

She turned to look at him. "Is it fair?"

"I guess not," Sirius said, still awed.

"Fight them," Dorcas said quietly. "Those that doubt you – they may never truly trust you, or understand you. But the more you try, the more you will affirm in yourself that you are worthy – that you are here by choice."

"Who cares what they think?" Sirius said angrily. "Isn't it enough just to know in your heart that you belong here?"

Dorcas smiled a haunting, twisted smile that Sirius would remember the rest of his life. "That is what I said to myself too, before I realized that often it is others, more than myself, who shape my destiny."


	67. Training Day

A/N: Anyone still with me? I know it's been over 2 years since my last update (how time flies!) and I'm so so sorry! I bet you all thought I had abandoned this story for good. I assure you that writing it has been a huge and wonderful part of my life, but with college and job-finding it's been tough to find time.

A few weeks ago one of my best friends and I started talking about Harry Potter. I started missing the fanfiction horribly, but I didn't know how on earth I would get back into writing it after so long! Well that night, I reread the entire thing, start to finish. Would you believe me if I told you I spent the past few weeks tweaking the older chapters, and, specifically, putting in a small Lily/Snape storyline? And it took me forever to write this chapter because I wanted to make sure it was consistent with what I had written years ago, but I loved, _loved_ every second of it.

For all those that reviewed, for all the kind words of encouragement you've given me and my story - don't give up on me. I will see this thing through to the end. And special thank-yous to THEcheeseluver12, Kaleidoscopic-eyes, and MrsHellman. Reading your reviews really made me want to start writing again :)

Without further ado, the latest chapter!

* * *

_June - July, 1978_

* * *

Training Day

It was after sundown when Moody finally walked into the headquarters. Dorcas had left on Order business, and Sirius, though tired and grumpy, sprang up from his seat when Moody entered.

"Black," Moody muttered as he took off his tattered coat.

"Hello," Sirius said in a falsely friendly voice. "Sir," he added quickly, attempting a smile.

"What do you want?" Moody growled.

"Well, sir, I just got back my N.E.W.T scores, and they qualify me for Auror training."

Moody stared at him blankly.

"And, you said to come talk to you if we desired a position within the Ministry," Sirius pressed on. "Where do I sign up?"

There was a moment of strained silence.

"I do not think that is a wise idea," Moody said, slowly. His eyes narrowed as he looked at Sirius.

"Why not? Sir?" Sirius said with restraint.

"I don't trust you," Moody snapped. He turned away and started moving toward the kitchen.

"Why not?" Sirius said heatedly, starting to move toward the kitchen as well. He could feel his insides starting to churn with rage.

"Because," Moody said in a voice that was low and dangerous. "You have not won it. I do not care what Dumbledore says about you. I will reserve any judgment for myself."

Sirius looked at him incredulously, and followed him around the kitchen. "I thought you were supposed to help us find jobs, not deter us," he spat.

Moody stopped walking, turned towards Sirius, and with three strides their faces were so close Sirius could feel Moody's breath.

"I only help those I can trust," he growled. "What happens if I let you in the Auror program? You could be a spy. I would be giving you access to invaluable information, not to mention my time, which I can assure you, is worth a hell of a lot more than yours."

Sirius opened his mouth to retort, but was so angry he could not utter a sound.

"Dumbledore may trust you, but I am not him," Moody said, turning away from Sirius again. "And one more thing, Black – follow me again, and it'll be the last thing you do."

With that, Moody walked through the kitchens and out of sight.

Seething, Sirius stood in the kitchen. Rage was boiling in him - he struggled to keep himself calm.

He wasn't going to give on being an Auror just because one narrow-minded person was getting in the way. He would make it happen, one way or another.

* * *

At 7 a.m. on Monday morning, seven distinct popping sounds could be heard from number nine, Arundel Close. Lily, Sirius, James, Peter, Remus, Faye and Marcella had all apparated into the headquarter's living room at approximately the same time.

"Ow!" Lily screeched as Peter nearly toppled her over.

"Sorry, sorry!" Peter said breathlessly.

"Glad to see you all made it," came Moody's growl. He had appeared at the doorway and was watching them with narrowed eyes.

James stifled a yawn; Remus and Marcella were both tiredly rubbing their eyes. Sirius, though still yearning for the comforts of his bed, glared at Moody. Determination read across his face. He would show Moody that he was destined to be an Auror.

"It wouldn't kill you all to walk down the stairs," Moody said, scowling as Peter still teetered unsteadily on his feet. All seven had apparated downstairs to save time.

Before any of them could say a word, Moody marched towards the center of the living room, and with a quick flick of his wand, conjured a large blackboard and seven chairs. Wordlessly, they sat, and stared at Moody, eyes glossy.

"First day of training," he growled. "I'll be taking it easy on you today. Don't expect to get used to this treatment."

With his wand, he drew letters, which appeared emblazoned in gold on the blackboard.

"Patronus charm," he read. "I told you at our last meeting that you must know how to cast one. Who here does not?"

Everyone except Remus hesitantly raised their hands.

"Mr. Lupin," Moody said. "Please come up here and demonstrate how it's done."

Remus got up from his chair slowly and walked to the blackboard. He raised his wand, and thought of his last full moon with the Marauders, the graduation ball, Faye's lips pressed against his…

"Expecto Patronum!"

A silvery wolf, much friendlier-looking than the one Remus transformed into every full moon, materialized from the end of his wand, and trotted around the room before disappearing out the window.

"Good," Moody nodded with satisfaction.

As Remus sat back down, Moody eyes each one of the remaining recruits in turn. "The concept is simple," he said. "Think of the happiest thought you can, let it fill your mind. You will need to know this spell not only to ward off dementors - rumors are You-Know-Who has been courting their allegiance - but also to communicate with other Order members. This method of communication is crucial, and effective. It is impenetrable by death eaters."

He paused. "You know the incantation. You will have until tomorrow to learn the spell."

He turned back to the blackboard and started writing again with his wand. Remus looked around at the others – they all had a panicked look in their eyes and seemed positively alarmed at being asked to learn such a complicated spell in a day.

"Stunning spells," Moody barked, snapping them back to his attention. "Basic. Useful. Divide into pairs, and start stunning each other. Try to cast it nonverbally."

Without uttering a sound, all the recruits stood up. James paired with Sirius, Lily with Marcella, Remus with Faye, and Peter stood alone, the odd one out.

"With me, Pettigrew," Moody growled, walking over to him. All the color drained from Peter's face, and he looked terrified.

Though stunning spells were an easy feat for all the recruits, Faye and Peter struggled with the nonverbal aspect.

"Taten, concentrate!" Moody barked, making Faye jump. She hastily sent a nonverbal stunning spell at Remus. Already inconsistent, the spell missed Remus by a couple feet and instead smashed a vase above the living room mantle.

"Oh no, sorry!" Faye squeaked in horror.

"Never mind, never mind," Moody said exasperatedly, waving off her apologies. He mended the vase with a flick of his wand, and turned back to Peter, who was concentrating, red in the face.

"Come on, Pettigrew," Moody said in a low voice. "Concentrate."

Minutes later, Peter sent a stunning spell at him which Moody deflected in the nick of time.

"Better," Moody growled. "Again."

Occasionally, Moody let Peter practice with Faye and Remus, and inspected James, Sirius, Lily and Marcella. Both pairs were extremely adept at stunning without speaking, and had begun to practice using shield charms as well. Lily and Marcella were dueling, wands flashing, faces screwed up in concentration. Stunning spells and shield charms flew and expanded, back and forth, so quickly both ways that neither one could get past the other.

James and Sirius were dueling too, though they opted to dodge spells instead of casting shield charms. Though Sirius was slower to cast his nonverbal spells, his aim was much more accurate, whereas James's spellwork was quick but inaccurate.

"Take your time, Potter, that's it," Moody growled as he walked past.

Sirius refused to look at Moody, but went about his work with an air of solemn determination. He would give Moody no reason to find fault with him. Indeed, Moody passed by a few times and did not say a word.

At noon, Moody dismissed the tired and disgruntled bunch. "Same time tomorrow," he said briskly, and strode out of the room.

Lily collapsed on the couch after he had gone, nursing a bruise on her arm from when one of Peter's spell missed and hit her instead. "I'm exhausted," she said weakly.

"I can't believe we have to learn the Patronus Charm by tomorrow!" Faye said hysterically. "I don't think he's being very realistic, how is he expecting us to do that?"

"How did you learn it, Moony?" James asked curiously, turning to look at Remus.

"I read about it in a book last year. I was curious and I thought it would be useful," Remus shrugged.

"How come you didn't tell us?" Sirius demanded.

"Well obviously dementors attacked us day and night at school," Remus said dryly. "It's not like I knew it would be useful, Padfoot."

"Bloody hell," Sirius moaned. He too flopped onto the couch, and made a noise of frustration. "He calls that taking it easy on us? We've been doing spellwork for hours!"

They sat in silence for a while. Remus went into the kitchen and made a plate of sandwiches, which they ate ravenously.

"Much better," James said tiredly, after they had eaten.

"Thanks for the food Remus," Marcella said. "Now let's get to work on that charm."

* * *

By the next morning, no one had managed to master the Patronus Charm. Though Marcella and Sirius were both able to cast something silvery from their wands, their patronuses remained shapeless. James, Peter, Lily and Faye were having trouble casting anything at all, and all of them were terrified to see Moody's reaction.

Indeed, when Moody saw their progress, he was very unpleased.

"How," he said in a low and dangerous voice, "do you expect to communicate with the rest of the Order? How do you expect to ward off dementors?"

"Sir," Faye spoke up in a high voice. "Sir, don't you think it's unreasonable-"

"Unreasonable?" Moody cut in. "Do you think that death eaters are reasonable people, Ms. Taten? Do you think that Voldemort" – everybody shuddered – "-is _reasonable_? We are at war! Pull it together!"

For the rest of the morning they practiced various basic spells, first verbally, and then nonverbally. By noon, when Moody dismissed them, each of them had burn marks and bruises all over their bodies.

"Crazy old bastard," Sirius muttered, rubbing his wrist, which had two burn marks.

Remus swore when he saw that a good chunk of his hair had been sliced off by a curse. Both Marcella and Lily had collapsed onto the couch, heads lolling. Peter was still shaking from when Moody put the jelly-legs jinx on him. James and Faye were sitting on the ground, clearly exhausted.

"I want to take a nap," Lily groaned. Her eyes were bloodshot and her red hair was tousled and messy.

"Go take one," James said.

"I can't," she snapped, irritated. "I have to go to an interview for the Council of Magical Law in two hours. I look like an absolute mess and I haven't slept well in days."

They all relapsed into silence. Finally, Lily got up and stormed up the stairs.

"Such a ray of sunshine," Sirius said sardonically.

Marcella rolled her eyes and punched him playfully.

"What is everyone else doing for the rest of the day?" Remus asked.

"I have to go to work," Faye said, yawning. "My shift doesn't start for a couple of hours though, so I thought I would go do some shopping or something."

"What about you, Wormtail?"

"I think I'll do some more job-hunting in Diagon Alley," Peter said quietly.

"I'm meeting up with Dan," Marcella said, absentmindedly rubbing a scorch mark on her hand. "I think he's found a job for me."

Remus glanced at Sirius – he was determinedly not looking at her.

"I'll be at my parents' house," James said.

"And I will be looking for a flat," Sirius said.

Everybody turned to look at him. "Really?" James said, impressed. "When did you decide this?"

"I thought I'd put Uncle Al's inheritance to good use," Sirius said, grinning. "Plus, you didn't think I was going to live at the Order Headquarters forever, did you?"

James laughed. "Of course not, mate. Good luck hunting, let me know when you find something."

A few minutes later, everybody had dispersed. The only ones that were left in the room were Sirius and Marcella.

"Well," Sirius said awkwardly, clearing his throat. "I hope Dan found a good job for you."

She smiled at him. "I hope so too." She turned to walk away, but then paused, and turned towards him.

"I'm really proud of you, Sirius," she said. "I know your Uncle Al would be too. I think it's great that you're getting your own place."

As he looked at her, old familiar feelings swooped back into the pit of his stomach. He tried not to stare at her, but he couldn't help it- something about the warmth of her eyes drew him in and locked him there.

"I do have you to thank," he said, grinning. "If you hadn't convinced me to go to that funeral in the first place…"

Laughing, she shook her head. "You would have gone anyway." She smiled up at him, eyes twinkling. "You're a good person, Sirius. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise."

She gently put her hand on his arm. "I'll see you later."

Sirius watched her leave. His heart was pounding and his brain was scrambled, and he found himself forgetting why he ever thought he could live without her.

* * *

By Friday, everybody except Peter and Faye were able to produce a corporeal patronus, though they were able to cast some sort of shapeless silvery substance from their wands on a consistent basis.

"Good," Moody said approvingly as he walked around, inspecting. He watched the group duel each other with increasing precision, accuracy and speed.

This time, Lily was paired with Remus. While Lily was quick on her feet, Remus seemed better able to predict her spells, and deflected them quickly and easily.

Sirius was paired with Faye. He danced around most of her spells, which did not come with the speed and intensity of spells cast by others. Though she had a particularly strong shield charm, Sirius was able to shatter it with a well-placed reductor curse.

Marcella was paired with Peter, and though he was better than her at dodging spells, her spellwork was much faster than his. She succeeded in disarming him twice before he could even send a stunning spell at her. James, being the odd one out, usually joined them in practice. Even when outnumbered two to one, Marcella held her own defensively.

"Excellent work," Moody growled at noon. "You all have been working hard this week, I do not take that for granted. You will get the weekend off."

At this, everybody breathed a sigh of relief.

There was almost a smile at the corner of Moody's lips. "Constant vigilance," he said. "You are dismissed."

After Moody left, James decided to join Sirius on his hunt for a flat inLondon. Sirius had a few places in mind, but he insisted on walking.

"Why this sudden desire for fresh air and exercise?" James said, laughing as they exited Arundel Close.

"Oh shut it," Sirius scowled. "I want somewhere that's close enough to headquarters, you know, in case anything goes wrong."

They headed south, down a crowded suburban pass. Buildings jutted up on either side of them and became denser as they headed into the heart ofLondon. The sun shone brilliantly in the sky as the two men walked, winking at girls passing by.

"I love London," Sirius grinned as a particularly pretty blonde passed by.

After a while, they arrived at a small brick building on a busy street. The room inside was very small as well, and smelled of cats. It had a homely feeling, as if it had belonged to a very old lady.

"I don't think even a kneazle could fit in here," Sirius yelled at the confused landlord as they left. James burst out laughing.

The second place they looked at was slightly bigger, but reeked distinctly of rubbish. James knew why – he looked out the window and saw piles of rubbish bins in the alleyway behind the complex.

"Disgusting," Sirius muttered.

"The only person fit for this place is Snivelly," James said, wrinkling his nose.

"If that was the case, I think the rubbish would be the ones trying to find a new place to live," Sirius said. They both cracked up.

They exited the building and walked further along the road until they reached a large brick building with roomy windows. It was perched on a slight hill overlooking the city. The sun was beginning to set and colored the bricks a rich, dark maroon.

"I'm liking this place already," Sirius grinned.

When they entered the flat, Sirius knew right away it was the one. The living room was large and bare, but somehow it reminded Sirius of the Potter manse. He knew that with some furnishings the place would feel like home.

"This space is great," James said, walking around. The hallway opened up into two very large and spacious bedrooms, both of them overlooking the city.

"I'll take it," Sirius said, grinning. He turned to the landlord. "When can I move in?"

"In a week," he replied. "We are doing some last-minute touch-ups on the flat."

"Excellent," Sirius breathed. He turned to James. "Want to be flatmates?"

James was caught off-guard; he had not thought the slightest bit about moving out of Headquarters, but now that he thought about it he knew he would be glad to live somewhere with his best friend and not be under constant surveillance from Moody. He would be free to finally have his own space. "Are you sure, mate?" he said hesitantly. "I wouldn't want to invade your space, after all…"

"Nonsense," Sirius laughed. His eyes had that same shine in them as when they were doing something particularly mischievous at Hogwarts. "It'll be just like old times."

James looked at Sirius, and realized that he hadn't seen his friend this happy in what felt like a very long time.

"Deal," he said, beaming.

Sirius let out a roar of laughter, and clapped him hard on the back, grinning from ear to ear. "One week, mate, one week!"

* * *

After a relaxing Saturday where the recruits did nothing except lounge around headquarters, Lily was feeling quite calm. She lay on the couch, her head on James's shoulder. After surviving the past week with very little sleep, she had slept in until noon. She wasn't the only one – both Peter and Sirius woke up even later than she did.

She had made up her mind to work for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement in the ministry. The job seemed somewhat flexible, and Moody assured her that he would help her in the application process. She also thought her interview went rather well.

Aside from that, she was becoming increasingly irritable at not starting a career. She didn't want to be idle – she knew she wanted to make a difference in the world, and being at the ministry would help put her in that direction.

"Lily?" came James's voice.

She snapped out of her thoughts. "Yes?"

He paused. "I'm going to move into a flat with Sirius."

She lifted her head from his shoulder and turned to look at him with a slightly confused look. "Since when?"

"Yesterday, when he found his flat and asked me to move in," James said, hesitantly.

"Oh," she said, brows furrowed.

"I don't want to upset you-" James began.

"Why would you upset me?" Lily said. "No, I think it's a great idea."

A huge wave of relief swept over James's face. "Really?"

She smiled up at him. "Yes. Look, I know you want your own place, and I don't think I'm ready to move out of headquarters yet. I think it'll be good that you and Sirius are living together."

Laughing at the expression on his face, she put her head back on his shoulder. "Were you scared to upset me because you thought I would think you were abandoning me?"

James smiled. "Something like that," he said truthfully.

"We'll have our time," Lily said lightly. "Not now. I'm not ready. But someday."

He put his arm around her, and placed a kiss on her head. "Thanks."

It was nearly midnight when the last stragglers headed off to sleep. James was the last one to ascend the stairs. He climbed into his bed, thinking excitedly about moving into the flat with Sirius next week. He felt that moving out of Headquarters would finally make it seem like he was starting his life, for real. He soon drifted off to sleep.

BAM.

James sprang up from his bed, startled by the loud noise. Before his eyes could adjust to the dim light from the hallway, he felt a searing pain; his arms had been wrenched behind his back.

"What the -?"

"Do not struggle. Or she dies."

Wildly, James turned his neck; he saw Lily being dragged into the hallway by a masked figure in a long sweeping black robe from his open bedroom door.

"Who are you?" James demanded. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see his assailant, who was also wearing a black mask and long robes.

"You're not in any position to ask questions, Potter," sneered his captor. James felt himself being dragged towards the door, wand pointed at his neck.

He started to panic – his wand was still on his dresser, and from the looks of it, Lily was also unarmed; her wand had been snatched out of her hand.

"REDUCTO!" came a scream down the hallway. Marcella, who had also been dragged out of bed, had miraculously procured her wand from a pocket of her dressing gown. The masked figure that had been holding her captive flew down the hall and landed with a thud a few feet from James and Lily.

Then, suddenly, Peter, Faye and Sirius were also dragged into the hallway by masked assailants. Taking advantage of his captor's momentary distraction, James wrenched his right arm free and punched his captor full in the face, just as Marcella sent another curse at Lily's holder, loosening his grip on her and forcing him to drop her wand.

"RUN!" James bellowed at Lily. Fear was racing through every vein of his body. They were being attacked by death eaters…they had to get out of this alive…but he was wandless, defenseless...

But before he could even move two feet, James felt a blunt force on his head, and he fell to the floor, unable to see straight. Lily screamed and tried to lunge for her wand, which was rolling on the floor, but the next second she was blasted backward by a death eater. She hit a wall and slumped to the floor.

On the other side of the hall, Sirius was roaring at the top of his lungs while attempting to wrench himself free, but his assailant had forced him to his knees. Marcella was now dueling another hooded figure, but he was too fast for her, and she found herself backing into the rest of the group as their wands slashed back and forth…

Out of nowhere, Remus tackled the death eater holding Sirius, having fought off his own with his wand. In a split second, Sirius leaped toward the death eater that was dueling Marcella and knocked him off his feet. They tumbled down the hallway, and Sirius, all thoughts of magic forgotten, was punching every inch of the hooded man that he could get his hands on…

Suddenly, he was blasted into the air. The death eater had sprung up triumphantly with his wand raised, a trickle of blood running down his face. He made a slashing movement with his wand and a torrent of spells shot towards James and Lily, who were both on the floor, wandless and defenseless.

"PROTEGO!" Remus roared. A shield charm expanded just in time, protecting Lily and James, as Remus launched himself at the nearest death eater. They started dueling, wands flashing, just as two more death eaters shot spells at Sirius, who was attempting to pull himself up from the floor.

"PROTEGO!" Marcella screamed, but the moment the shield charm expanded over Sirius a stunning spell hit her straight in the chest, and she collapsed, unable to move.

With a roar of rage, Sirius lunged for Lily's wand, which was still lying on the floor. "PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!" he bellowed. His spell hit one of the death eaters, but before he could do anything else he felt himself blasted off his feet again. His head slammed against the hardwood floor with a dull thud.

"EXPELLIARMUS!" shouted three different voices. Sirius and Remus felt their wands fly out of their hands, and in a split second Remus too was kneeling on the floor, arms wrenched behind his back.

Faye was whimpering and trembling violently. One of the death eaters laughed coldly.

James looked wildly around. His assailant had pinned his arms behind his back again; any movement was extremely painful. Lily was slumped, half-conscious, against the wall she had hit. Remus was kneeling on the floor with a bloody nose, and Marcella was also kneeling, teeth gritted, eyes flashing, still struggling to break loose from her assailant. Faye and Peter looked terrified; neither had made much attempt to escape. Sirius was attempting to pull himself up from the floor, glaring at the hooded figure that was pointing a wand at him.

"Up, all of you," came a familiar growl.

As Moody pulled the black mask off his face, Sirius let out a loud noise of anger.

"YOU!"

Moody's eyes narrowed. "Yes, me," he snarled.

The other figures started to take off their masks as well. Dimly, James could make out the faces of Benjy, Gideon, Fabian, Emmeline, Sturgis and Edgar, who all loosened their grips on the recruits and lowered their wands. Fabian's nose was bleeding.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Sirius exploded. He sprang to his feet, his finger pointed at Moody. His entire body shook with rage. "YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST BARGE IN HERE-"

"Yes, I think I can," Moody said in a low and dangerous growl. "Now kindly shut up, if you know what's good for you."

"Sir, I thought we weren't having training this weekend," Faye said in a defensive voice.

"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" Moody roared, making them all jump. "This was your first practical group lesson. I am teaching you all to expect the unexpected! When death eaters come knocking at your door, at least now you will be prepared!"

Fuming, he glared at each of them in turn. "In a real situation, you'd all be dead," he spat. "Only Lupin here had the sense to lock his door – that gave him enough time to snatch his wand when Fenwick tried to get in. Most of you are without wands. YOU DON'T JUST LEAVE YOUR WANDS LYING AROUND!" he roared, making them jump again.

"The only one with enough sense to keep her wand on her persons was Ms. Greenwald," Moody said, nodding at Marcella, who was still kneeling on the ground, jaw clenched.

There was a tense moment of silence. Sirius was glaring at Moody.

"I expect better next time," Moody said. With that, he turned and swept down the stairs.

"That wasn't too bad, we were worse," Gideon said to them reassuringly, attempting a smile. He and the others swept out of sight after Moody.

Lily groaned, massaging her shoulder, which had hit the wall full-force. Remus had fixed his own broken nose and was now trying to comfort Faye, who looked stricken. James collapsed on the floor, thoroughly exhausted.

"He's mental," Sirius said angrily. He was still standing upright, his body shaking. "Crazy bastard."

"He's right though," Peter spoke up. He was still shaking, but his breathing had calmed. "We need to be more careful."

Sirius shot him a venomous look. "That doesn't give him the right to scare the living daylights out of us," he snapped.

"You're just upset because he beat you," Lily said irritably.

Sirius opened his mouth to retort, but Remus cut in.

"Not that this hasn't been incredibly fun," he said sardonically. "But I think I'm going to go back to bed."

"Me too," James said, yawning.

Sirius cast an angry look at him, but did not respond. Wordlessly, he strode to his room and slammed the door shut. One by one, the rest of them each headed back to their rooms, taking special care to lock the doors behind them.

Seething, Sirius tried to fall asleep but found he couldn't. Moody's face haunted him.

"I can't wait to get out of this madhouse," he muttered to the ceiling.


	68. The Full Moon

A/N: Hi guys! I thought I'd surprise you with another update :) I should have gotten this one up faster but I was working on a side story OneShot that some of you may have read, The Prince's End. It's one of my favorite things that I have ever, ever written (and it's only 400 something words long!) Please do check it out!

But anywho, this chapter mixes the light and the heavy, but it's really a focus on Remus. I thought he needed some time in the limelight.

And again, a huge huge thanks to all the readers and reviewers, especially Zali Loves Writing x3, nell, malfoygirl16, THEcheeseluver12, amanda, Hahukum Konn, and Valandar. You guys keep me going!

* * *

_July, 1978_

* * *

Full Moon Again

As the fourth week after graduation drew to a close, a terrible reality was setting in for Remus. For the first time since the prank on Snape in the beginning of their sixth year, he would be going through his transformations completely and entirely alone.

He, Sirius, James and Peter had talked about the full moon, on one night when they found themselves with no other company. Remus knew Moody had cleared out the basement of the Order for him to transform in. He had enchanted all the doors and windows to make sure Remus couldn't get out as a werewolf. But the basement room was small, and there was definitely no room to also fit a stag, a rat, and a large black dog. Not to mention that Moody would be the one escorting Remus out of the room, and even if the invisibility cloak could cover all of them, there was no way in hell Remus would risk Moody finding out that James, Sirius and Peter were illegal Animagi.

They had protested, but Remus knew he had no choice. Once again, he would have to go through it alone.

The days wore on slowly for him. Training still happened every day during the week. The hours were arduous, and Moody was tough on them, relentless. They were all mentally and physically exhausted on a daily basis. Though he tried to keep himself occupied, Remus couldn't help but think of the upcoming full moon.

"You're so pale," Faye said quietly. They were sitting in his room together the night before the full moon.

"I always am, this time of month," Remus said. He laughed humorlessly, and absentmindedly looked out the window. He instantly regretted it. Sitting calmly in the night sky was the moon, now almost completely spherical.

Remus smiled ruefully – it looked so innocuous, so innocent. In the moonlight, his skin looked even paler. He shuddered.

But the next second, a warm hand closed over his cold and clammy ones. He looked down and saw Faye smiling her little smile at him. Her bright blue eyes, the ones that had captured his heart years ago, were looking straight into his weary ones.

He still loved her – there was no doubt of that in either of their minds. But he couldn't let go of the past. He knew that no matter how much he loved her, the simple knowledge that a werewolf had killed her little brother would never allow him to truly love her the way she deserved. Even though it wasn't his to feel, Remus couldn't help it. He felt guilt.

But this time, as she gazed at him and held his hand in hers, he didn't pull away, like he had done on so many other occasions. Tonight, he could be a little selfish. He needed her. He needed her love, her comfort.

Tonight, he was still Remus Lupin. Tomorrow night, it would be a different story.

"You should get some rest," Faye said gently. She gave his hand a small squeeze. "You're going to have a hard night tomorrow, I'm glad Moody's giving you the day off from training."

"Me too," he murmured. "I don't think I could handle it."

She gave his hand another squeeze. They sat in silence for a little while.

"How does it feel?" she asked at length.

Remus started. "What do you mean?"

"To transform. You don't have to answer me, I don't want to upset you. I just always wanted to know."

Remus's eyes found hers. They were wet.

"Well," he said slowly. "I honestly don't remember much of it. I always feel my body go rigid at the beginning." He paused. "When I first transform, I have control of my mind… but only for a bit. I struggle to keep control but I've never been able to manage it on my own."

She gazed at him, her eyes wide.

"It takes – it takes something pretty big to help bring me back," he said. "When Sirius, James, and Peter are there they help calm the wolf – the werewolf mind starts relaxing. It's not as destructive. Its hunger for blood is not as strong, not with camaraderie of other animals. It's easier for me to fight back."

He shook is head. "But control is so volatile. Any smell of human flesh, blood – any weakness on my end, and the wolf is back, in full force."

They were both silent for a while.

"There's been talk," Faye said quietly. "Of a potion that's being developed. I found out about it yesterday, overheard from someone at work. It's supposed to help werewolves keep their minds during transformations."

Remus stared at her. "Really?"

Faye nodded. "It's still in the preliminary stages, but it's definitely real. I just – I wanted you to know. There's hope, Remus."

Her blue eyes glittered in the moonlight, and all Remus wanted to do was kiss her.

"Thank you," he croaked instead.

"For what?" she asked, smiling.

He smiled too. "For believing in me."

She gave his hand a squeeze. "I won't give up on you. I promise."

* * *

"This is amazing!"

Sirius was yelling, beaming as he burst through the front door of his new flat. Without thinking, he leaped forward and dived onto the hardwood floor with a roar, sliding across it on his torso with his arms spread. He was smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. There were few other moments in his life that made him this happy - he was finally moving into a new place, his own place, with his best friend.

As he surveyed what was to become the living room area with a gleam in his eyes, James walked through the front door, panting and clutching a stitch at his side.

"What took you so long?" Sirius shouted at him gleefully from the floor.

James laughed. "Are you excited mate? Because I couldn't tell from the way you sprinted here from headquarters…"

Sirius scowled at him good-naturedly. "Isn't this wonderful?" he said, still grinning widely. He gazed at the brick fireplace. "I would imagine heaven to look exactly like this."

"You've got high expectations of heaven then," James said sarcastically, glancing at Sirius, who was now sprawled on the floor as if it were his bed.

"Oh shut up," Sirius scowled. He slowly pulled himself off the floor. "Don't tell me you're not excited."

"Trust me, I am," James said. "I couldn't wait to get out of there, Frank's endless scriptures on the importance of wandlore at dinnertime – I swear, last night I almost told him to shove his fairy-dust stick up his -"

His last words were drowned by Sirius's roar of laughter.

Moody had kept them all extremely busy at headquarters for the past week. There was barely any occasion when the recruits actually left Arundel Close. Both James and Sirius were feeling quite stifled – they hadn't been able to sit still at school, and they certainly couldn't stand it now. They were both restless. They wanted to catch death-eaters, to fight for the Order, but every time they pestered Order members about it Moody would intervene.

"You're not ready," Moody would growl. "You still think it's glorious. Wait until you watch a friend die…"

Lily was pressing on with her training at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement at the ministry. Marcella had obtained a job at the Daily Prophet with the help of Dan and Marlene McKinnon. Though both women were under a lot of stress, both kept it together and rarely complained. Remus was applying for Healer training, but the process was long, arduous and required a full two years of commitment.

Peter had gotten a job at Borgin and Burke's, in Knockturn Alley. His hours were late and he usually got little sleep, but he often praised the job for its lack of stress.

"It's pretty good," he would say, whenever someone asked him about it. "Late night shifts, but pays decent." He never told anyone about the type of people he usually interacted with in that shop – none of them would approve of the Malfoys, and Sirius would be simply livid.

James still was undecided as to what career to pursue, but he knew he wanted to take his time and be sure of what he wanted before he jumped into anything. He spent most of his free time at his parents' house. He knew he couldn't cure their sickness or prevent them from dying, but after seven years of barely being at home, James knew he wanted to spend as much time with them as possible while he still could.

Though Sirius had gotten many career offers from a variety of employment places including Gringotts and the Ministry due to the strength of his test scores, he refused to even consider any of them.

"I want to be an Auror," he would say stubbornly, every time someone suggested something different.

Only James and Remus realized the extreme effort Sirius was putting into training. Sirius was being extremely careful around Moody. Gritting his teeth, he ignored every negative word Moody threw at him, trying hard not to lose his temper. He knew winning Moody's trust was the only way in.

But on that day, Sirius felt nothing except pure joy from the moment he walked into his new flat.

"James, what do you reckon we should do about furniture?" Sirius said cheekily, gesturing to the bare unfurnished living room.

"Oh, I don't know," James said, grinning. "Lily's sister's boyfriend, Vernon, says he knows quite the place – if the chairs are big enough to fit his abnormally large bottom, just one chair should be able to comfortably seat everyone in the Order. Think of all the galleons we could save."

Sirius guffawed. "You know, charming as muggle furniture may be, I do believe our decorations should be, I don't know, more _cool_."

"Couldn't agree more," James grinned.

Together, they raised their wands. As they swished through the air, the walls seemed to glow, and the red bricks turned a rich brown hue. Fire sprang up in the fireplace. Two large, comfortable looking couches appeared on top of a rug depicting a giant lion.

Sirius grinned. With one more flick of their wands, the ceiling changed. It had been a drab white color before, but now, it was bewitched so that it looked just like the ceiling in the Gryffindor common room.

"Now, it feels like home," Sirius sighed happily, flopping down on their new couch.

"I see you couldn't wait to decorate until we got here," Remus's voice came from the door.

"Moony! Wormtail!" Sirius yelled happily as they walked through the doroway.

"Are you sure this flat doesn't have a de-aging charm on it?" Remus said sarcastically as Peter laughed.

"Aren't I allowed to be excited?" Sirius protested.

Remus laughed. "Of course you are." He and Peter walked across the living room, and sat down on the other couch. Remus was pale and his eyes were bloodshot. After Faye left his room last night, he couldn't sleep, dreading the night ahead.

"Moony, you look terrible," James said, frowning. "You should be resting, your full moon is tonight."

"And miss Padfoot acting like he's five? Never," Remus said cheekily.

James, Peter and Sirius roared with laughter.

Remus and Peter helped James and Sirius to unpack. Sirius had offered both Remus and Peter to live in the flat as well, but they both declined. Remus wanted to stay at headquarters until he completed Healer training, and Peter's mum, who was still very ill and lingered close to death, lived nearby.

The four friends sat on the two couches and talked for hours. All of them felt like they were back in the Gryffindor common room, enjoying the warmth of the fireplace, talking and laughing about both serious stuff and nonsensical stuff. They laughed so hard they doubled over; Peter once fell off the couch, guffawing. Time seemed to fly right by, and for a couple hours Remus forgot completely about the night that was to come.

Finally, the sun began to set.

"Well, I think it's time for me to go," Remus said finally, wiping a tear of laughter from his eyes. "It just wouldn't be right, you know, to go gallivanting around London as a werewolf."

James laughed.

"Are you going to be alright?" Peter asked anxiously.

Remus shrugged. "Probably not," he said truthfully. "But I'll manage, I always do."

"You know we want to be there mate," Sirius said, looking at Remus. "If you change your mind about us being there-"

"No," Remus said firmly. "It's not worth it. It's not your burden – it never has been. You all have done so much more for me than I could have ever hoped for."

He stood up and grabbed his coat. His eyes were watery as he looked around at their faces, all fiercely loyal. He knew they would do anything for him.

"Thank you," he said quietly. Then he strode out the front door, into the sunset.

* * *

Remus walked briskly into the front door of headquarters as the last light of the sun dipped below the mountains. He took off his coat and saw his reflection in the hallway mirror.

"Good lord," he muttered to himself as he looked at his pale face and red eyes.

"Good, you're back," came Moody's voice.

Startled, Remus turned and saw Moody walking towards him with a grim look on his face.

"Come on, Lupin, we haven't got all night," Moody growled.

They walked silently to the door of the basement. Moody ushered Remus through it and down the stairs. The basement was small and slightly dusty. There were no windows, no light source, save for a single small light bulb enchanted so that it was embedded in the ceiling. Moody had moved all the boxes and chairs that were stacked there into another room. Remus looked around him – he was in a small, dark, enclosed space.

It felt like prison.

"We've put a noise reduction charm around the room," Moody said. "That way people living upstairs won't be able to hear the noise."

Remus nodded absentmindedly. His throat felt dry. Dread was pumping through his veins, and he tuned Moody out.

"And we've put a charm on the door so you won't be able to break out," Moody was saying. "But you already know this."

Again, Remus nodded.

"In that case, I shall be leaving now," Moody said. He looked Remus straight in the eye, and for a moment Remus thought he saw a flicker of sadness, but in the next moment he was sure he had imagined it. "I will be back in the morning."

He turned to go, but at the top of the stairs he stopped.

"Good luck, Lupin."

And with a slam of the door Moody was gone.

Remus sat down on the cold cement floor. The room was pitch-dark. He could have turned on the lightbulb, but he chose not to. He didn't want to see anything – he wanted to be blind, he wanted to have this night over with.

He waited in the dark, gritting his teeth. The worst part about not having a window in the basement was that he couldn't see the moonlight…he didn't know when the wolf would strike…

And suddenly, he felt his body go rigid, and he knew it had begun. He felt himself grow taller, he felt stabs of pain that left him breathless… He fell himself slipping out of consciousness as he fell to the floor, panting…

The wolf let out a blood-curling howl that no one could hear. It sprinted around the small enclosed basement in a frenzy. Snarling, it became impatient. It wanted to kill. It wanted blood. It sank its teeth into its arms, its claws bared, ready to scratch, to slash…

Suddenly – flesh. The smell of flesh, close by, just beyond the basement doors.

The wolf leaped, hurtled toward the door, slamming its body against it, willing to break it down, to have a bite of sweet human flesh that was so close, so near by…

"Remus," a voice was saying softly. "I know you're in there, I know you're a werewolf right now. I don't even know if you can hear me, but I just wanted to let you know, I'm here."

And suddenly, Remus heard the voice too, dimly inside his head. It seemed so weak, so far away, but he knew that voice. He knew it so well. He had to fight back… he had to hear it again…

"I'm going to stay here all night, okay? All night. I won't leave this door, I won't leave you. I'll be here."

_No!_ Remus screamed inside his head as the wolf tried to beat him back into submission. _I won't let you, I have to hear that voice again…_ He fought for control. All the while, that angelic, beautiful voice floated over him. It was music to his ears.

"You must be so miserable right now. But it's alright, I'll try to make you feel better."

Remus fought with all his might, but the wolf was too strong tonight – it had taken all his fears, his trepidation, his dread over the past week and turned it against him. Try as he might, he could not gain control…

And suddenly, it was all over. He slipped back into unconsciousness, and remembered no more.

* * *

"He looks terrible."

"I knew we should have been there."

"I've seen that basement, it's tiny, there's no way-"

"Shut it, Wormtail, I know that already."

"Stop squabbling. Look, I think he's stirring a bit-"

Remus forced his eyes open. His vision was blurry.

"You okay, mate?" came James's voice.

It took a few seconds for his eyes to focus. When his vision sharpened he saw James, Peter, Sirius, Lily, Marcella and Faye all crowded around his bed, peering anxiously at him. Faye's face was ghostly pale.

"Yeah," he said groggily. He tried to sit up, but at a warning look from Faye and a searing pain in his stomach, laid back down. "How long have I been out?"

"Two days," Lily answered, lips trembling. "When Moody brought you out of the basement, we all thought you had died… you weren't even stirring."

"It was a pretty rough full moon," Remus said quietly.

"We should have been there," Sirius burst. "We shouldn't have let you do it alone-"

"Sirius, be quiet!" Remus hissed. "What if Moody overhears? I still stand by what I said before, I'd rather go through it alone than risk having your illegal you-know-what status revealed."

"We don't care!" James said fiercely. "Tell Moody you'll find somewhere else to transform, somewhere bigger-"

"Because that won't be suspicious at all-"

"We want to help," James protested. "Face it, Remus, we're the only ones who can."

Remus opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He glared at them. "No."

A stream of protests started coming from Sirius, James and Peter, but Remus silenced them all with a look. "Like I said before, it's not your responsibility," he said quietly. "It never has been. Maybe after I move out of headquarters we can find another place for me to transform, but for now that is too dangerous and inconvenient. I'm staying in the basement."

With that, he pulled the covers over his head.

He didn't remember when he fell asleep, but when he woke up he saw a pair of brilliant blue eyes. For a wild moment he thought it was Dumbledore, but as his vision cleared he saw Faye smiling at him.

"Hi sleepyhead," she said, laughing.

He groaned. "How long was I out this time?"

"Just a couple of hours," she smiled. "Frank and Moody came by again, they fixed you up pretty good. Most of your scars have healed by now."

He studied her carefully. "How long have you been here?"

Faye blushed. "The entire time," she said, grinning sheepishly.

"That's got to be three days!" Remus exclaimed. "Did you sleep?"

"I did, a bit, over there." She pointed to a pile of blankets crumpled up in the corner of his room. "The others were in here a lot too," she added.

He stared at her, at a loss for words. Suddenly, something hit him.

"Faye, were you outside the basement door on the night of the full moon?"

She bit her lip. "Yes," she said quietly. "So you did hear me, then?"

Remus nodded. He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off.

"Look, I know what you're going to say. You're going to tell me not to do it, that it's dangerous, in case the charm breaks. You're going to tell me that you won't even hear me most of the time, that I should be spending my time doing other things."

She shook her head. "But I don't care, Remus. I don't care if you don't hear me. I'm going to be there for you on the nights that you need me most, and if I can get through to you just a little bit, that's more than enough for me."

Her eyes found his - they were blazing. "I love you."

He wanted to protest, but as he looked into her eyes, he knew she wouldn't take no for an answer. And at that moment, he realized just how much he loved her.

"I love you too," he said, voice breaking.

She beamed at him. "I know."

And as their lips met, in a whirlwind of joy, Remus forgot all about the past few days. In this moment, all he needed was her.


	69. Shock of Reality

A/N: Hey guys, another update! This one is also pretty short. I spent the last couple of chapters setting up things for the marauders outside of school, and this chapter really starts kicking things off. From here on out, things are just going to get more intense. I really enjoyed writing this one, I hope you enjoy reading :)

And, of course, a huge huge thanks to the wonderful readers and reviewers! Thank you to LianneH, amanda, Alexa Krystal, prongster, hpluvr, and THEcheeseluver12!

* * *

_July, 1978_

* * *

A Shock of Reality

After another week of training, Sirius was becoming restless. His patience, which up to this point had held up rather well, was becoming paper thin.

"If he tells us to practice the bloody reductor curse one more time, I swear I'll bloody kill him," Sirius snarled as he and James arrived back at their flat after another long day of training. "We've been able to do that spell since second year, he's wasting our time."

"I know," James sighed, plopping down on the couch. He too was becoming impatient – he wanted to fight, not to sit around practicing spells. "I wish we could go out there and catch those bastards."

"We've taken on Snivellus," Sirius muttered. "He's one of them now, so if we can take him we can take any of them."

"I don't know why Moody thinks we're not ready," James said angrily. "We're more than ready, he knows we're good. He just doesn't want to admit it."

Sirius's eyes darkened. "He still doesn't trust me."

James shook his head. "I'm sure you're just thinking that."

"No, he told me to my face." He was about to say how unfair he thought it was, but remembered Dorcas's words to him, and promptly shut his mouth.

"Well, at least we can look forward to Frank and Alice's dinner," James said. "It's tonight, right?"

Sirius nodded.

"Good," James said, smiling. "I can't wait for Moony and Wormtail to get here so we can get going, I'm starving."

"Ah, just the thought of a feast makes me happy," Sirius said, smiling. He rubbed his stomach.

James grinned. "I'm looking forward to some good food, Lily can't cook to save her life."

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "Looks like you two'll be eating sandwiches the rest of your life."

"Ha ha," James said, scowling. "Remus has it good, Faye makes great stuff..."

Two distinct popping sounds diverted their attention – they turned to see Remus and Peter standing in the middle of the living room.

"Welcome," Sirius grinned. "We were just talking about you, Moony."

"I'm apprehensive to know what it's about," Remus said, mouth twitching.

"Oh, just how lucky you are to have Faye, she makes one hell of a breakfast-"

"Aw, shut it," Remus muttered, flushing. "You know we're not together-"

"_Technically_," James said, rolling his eyes. "Come on Moony, when are you going to ask her out again?"

"Yeah, come on," Peter said, grinning. "We all know she stayed up the entire night talking to you on the full moon."

Remus stared at him. "How?"

"Lily and Marcella woke up early in the morning to get breakfast and saw her."

"Come on mate, she loves you," James chirped. "I know you feel the same, don't even try to deny-"

"Oh shut it," Remus scowled. "We should get going, we're going to be late."

"I wonder how long it'll take us to get there," Sirius said sardonically. "Two seconds? Three?"

Remus rolled his eyes. He turned on the spot, and was gone.

James, Sirius and Peter grinned at each other. All three turned on the spot and were soon gone in a flash.

* * *

They arrived at Frank and Alice's place at a quarter past six. The couple's house was large, but felt extremely warm and inviting. The walls were painted a brilliant warm yellow hue, and small lights danced from the ceiling. Soft, squashy sofas sat in the middle of the living room. In the dining room sat a long wooden table covered by a bright orange tablecloth, on top of which sat many sets of plates, cups, and silverware.

Most of the Order was assembled there. Faye was laughing at Caradoc's joke. Lily was chatting animatedly with Hagrid, who grazed the ceiling. Marcella was on the couch, deep in conversation with Marlene, Benjy, and the Prewetts.

"Glad you four could make it," said Aberforth briskly, shuttling them through the doorway. "Dinner is almost ready."

"Where's Moody?" Peter said, peering over Aberforth's shoulder.

"He couldn't make it," Aberforth said. "He's out on business."

Sirius and Peter exchanged looks of glee.

They walked into the living room. Peter and Remus soon joined Faye and Caradoc in conversation, while James walked over to Lily and Hagrid. Sirius glanced around the room, looking for Dorcas – but she and her famous steely eyes were absent.

" – using Inferi," Gideon Prewett was saying in a low voice as Sirius joined them on the couch. "There's been talks, rumors that he's been trying to recruit dementors-"

"Aren't they under ministry supervision?" Sirius spoke up, frowning.

Gideon turned to look at him. "For now," he said darkly. "The powers of persuasion that You-Know-Who has… he's already turned some powerful ministry witches and wizards around, they're probably under the Imperius curse."

"Crouch is getting really frustrated," Marlene said quietly. "He's afraid – we all are – but to the point where he'll stop at nothing. He's making those even on his own side paranoid."

"I respect him for now," Fabian said. "You-Know-Who has no mercy. It's not the right time to show any weakness."

"Let's hope he doesn't get too power-hungry," Marcella said in a low voice.

"It's already started though," Benjy said, eyes narrowed. "He swore to assist the Order, and he is, but he's leaning on us more and more. He doesn't even trust the Auror department anymore, and Merlin knows how careful Moody is with his training selections."

"Why does he trust the Order?" Sirius asked.

"Dumbledore," Marlene said simply. "Crouch isn't stupid, he knows Dumbledore's the most powerful wizard – he thinks Dumbledore has some sort of magical intuition, that he's never wrong…"

"Sometimes I get that feeling too," Benjy muttered.

"Still, even Dumbledore admits he makes mistakes," Fabian sighed. "No man is perfect. Regardless, the more he leans on us, the more You-Know-Who starts to care about us. Which, in short, is not good."

"Nobody really fancies being You-Know-Who's main target," Gideon added dryly.

"Not to mention, when things don't go according to plan, Crouch has started blaming us more and more," Benjy said resentfully. "His bloody obligatory action – guilty until proven innocent. It's hard to tell what's what these days, with the damn Imperius curse being thrown left and right-"

"Dinner is served!" came Alice's cheerful voice from the dining room, interrupting Benjy's thoughts.

Gideon, Fabian, Benjy and Marlene got up from the couch and started towards the dining room along with everyone else. Sirius and Marcella sprang up at the same time, and their shoulders promptly collided.

"Ow," Marcella said, laughing. "Sirius, your bony shoulders probably gave me a bruise."

"So sorry, m'lady," Sirius said, grinning cheekily. "You first." He gave her a light push towards the dining room.

Once they had all sat down, everybody dug hungrily into their food. Alice had made steaming mashed potatoes with plenty of flavorful meat. Sirius and James grinned at each other as they gnawed at their chicken legs – they felt like they were back at school, in the Great Hall.

"Thanks for the amazing dinner, Alice," Lily beamed.

"Hear, hear!" Sirius clapped. "I haven't been this well-fed since Hogwarts!"

Everybody at the table laughed.

"It's nice to have you all over," Frank said warmly. "Alice and I are so busy, we really never have time to just talk with you all."

"How's training?" Alice asked, smiling at the recruits.

"Tough," Peter said immediately.

Alice laughed. "It always is. Alastor is very hard on you all, I know – but then again he's hard on everyone. You'll appreciate it soon enough."

"That's for sure," Benjy said, while Marlene nodded fervently.

"I think we're ready for some actual field work, though," Jame spoke up.

Caradoc smiled. "It's funny, we all think we are. When I started, Moody wouldn't let us out there until two months after."

"Granted, now there's more need for our services," Aberforth said briskly. "It's quite more hectic now than it was just a couple months ago."

"I never got to ask you all, what's-" Frank stopped speaking, and frowned – there came a rapport of knocks on the front door. Puzzled, he got up and threw it open.

In sped Moody, his eyes narrowed. "Death Eaters," he growled. "Three villages. One on the north side, about five of them."

Without a word, Marlene, Benjy, Caradoc, Gideon and Fabian rose. Within seconds they had sprinted out the door and disapparated.

"What about us?" Remus spoke. "We want to help, we've been trained-"

"I was getting to you lot," Moody cut in. "There's another five or six, down by the south river. They're torturing muggles. Consider this your first assignment – apparate into the forest. Stop them from whatever they're doing. Be vigilant – capture if you can, kill if you must. We will join you as soon as we can."

All the recruits stared.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Moody barked, making them all jump. "Are you going or not?"

Blood pounding in his ears with both excitement and apprehension, Sirius sprinted out the front door with the rest, and turned on the spot into nothingness.

* * *

The night sky seemed to engulf everything as they arrived. Tall, thick trees surrounded them in the forest – Remus could barely see anything in the dim moonlight. He blinked several times before he could see Lily's frame beside him.

"Look, over there," came the frightened whisper of Faye.

Remus turned to see flames flickering not too far away. He heard sounds of distant laughter.

Wordlessly, they sprinted toward the flames. As they got closer, the sounds of laughter became louder. Remus smelled ash. He could just barely make out a burning house with three muggle figures twirling above the flames, dangerously close to being burned.

Two hooded figures were laughing, flicking their wands as the muggles screamed above the flames.

Fuming, Remus shot a spell directly at one of them. The jet of light hit him squarely in the back and he fell forward.

His comrade turned as Remus shot a second spell and deflected it.

"Levicorpus!" James shouted desperately, trying to prevent the muggles from falling into the flames of the burning house.

Out of nowhere, jets of lights blasted through the night sky. There were yells on all sides. James felt himself pushed to the ground as a jet of light nearly missed his head – he blinked, and Sirius was by his side, crouched, eyes narrowed.

A jet of green light narrowly missed his arm.

"Thanks. Let's go," James hissed to Sirius.

They sprinted towards the nearest death eater, who was dueling Peter. Sirius sent a spell a the death eater – he dodged it.

"EXPELLIARMUS!" James roared. The wand flew out of the death eater's hand.

"On the ground," Sirius said triumphantly, pointing the wand at the hooded figure.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, they were surrounded, by at least five hooded figures. Peter let out a squeak of horror, and in the momentary distraction the disarmed death eater lunged for his wand.

"NO!" Sirius shouted. He felt a searing pain on his arm – he knew it was bleeding. The death eaters laughed coldly.

Panic shot through every fiber of James's body. They were outnumbered…where were the others? What had happened to them?

"CRUCIO!"

And suddenly, James felt a thousand burning knives stabbing every inch of his body – he could barely see, barely think – and just as suddenly, it was gone – Sirius had lunged at the death eater casting the spell.

The death eaters all raised their wands…

"REDUCTO!" came two screams.

Lily and Remus, who had fought off their attackers, came sprinting toward them, wands slashing through the air. Jets of light flew in every direction. James felt himself blasted off his feet. He hit the ground hard, but immediately got up and fired a spell at the closest death eater, wand slashing in front of him. Dodging another jet of light, he managed to blast the death eater off his feet. Without hesitation he sprinted to help Peter, who was on the ground, barely stirring.

Five more hooded figures appeared out of thin air, sprinting into the field of battle. Marcella and Faye had just come into view – they had returned the muggles to a safe place, and were now joining the fray, but they were outnumbered, each dueling two death eaters. Remus stunned one, but two more were on his heel… Lily was also dueling two, her face screwed in concentration, but suddenly she was engulfed in ropes, which pulled her to the ground, screaming…

Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius saw James hit with a body-bind curse, but he had no time to help, the death eater he was dueling was particularly quick… he felt himself backing into the flames of the burning house as his attacker laughed an all-too-familiar laugh…

Then, suddenly – "THEY'RE HERE!"

Moody, McGonagall, Dorcas, Aberforth, Frank and Alice came sprinting out of the woods, and before James even had time to react the hooded figures disappeared, one by one, as spells shot through where their bodies stood moments ago.

"Are you lot alright?" Frank said, panting.

Before anyone had time to respond, another group of figures suddenly appeared. Barty Crouch, several aurors, Marlene, Benjy, Caradoc, and the Prewetts came running toward the group.

"Three villages?" Crouch muttered as he approached. His hat was crooked; his cloak billowed behind him. "Three bloody villages, how many death eaters are out here tonight?"

"We were dueling five, sir," Benjy said, clutching his stomach. There was a huge gash in his leg; he was limping. "They all disapparated suddenly, we didn't know where they had gone to-"

"They came here," Moody growled. "This was a planned attack, they knew where to regroup. This village is the most secluded of the three."

"You had no authority to be here," Crouch suddenly snapped. "How did you find out?"

"I have my ways," Moody said, his voice dangerously low.

Crouch glared. "I didn't give any permission-"

Moody's eyes narrowed to slits. "Permission? Muggles would be roasted to a crisp before we would have gotten your _permission_-"

"You've overstepped your boundaries," Crouch spat. "You forget who is in charge."

"You called the aurors out, they are under my supervision."

"And you are under the Ministry's," Crouch snarled. "You think I couldn't get someone to replace you?"

"I thought, Crouch, that you wanted more of our help? That's certainly the impression I got last time we spoke."

Crouch looked murderous. "How many total?"

It took a couple of seconds for everyone to register that he was talking to the recruits.

"About ten, maybe more," Faye spoke up weakly.

"Anyone hurt?"

"Shaken up, mostly. We took the muggles to a shack and put protective enchantments around them."

Crouch's face looked impassive. "Anyone captured?"

"They all disapparated. We were completely outnumbered," Remus said.

There was a moment of tense silence.

"Three villages," Crouch muttered again. His eyes glinted in the dim moonlight. Without a word, he turned on his heels and strode toward the forest. He disapparated with a _pop_.

Remus turned to look at Moody, whose jaw was clenched.

"Good work, you lot." He scanned the group. "Go home, get some sleep."

With that, he strode off, and disappeared into the night.

* * *

They had battled, they had lived. They had kept the death eaters at bay, they had saved the muggles.

_So why don't I feel happy? Isn't this what I wanted, to battle evil?_ Sirius thought to himself.

But he knew – he was still frustrated. They had been outnumbered, forced to back away…Sirius didn't want to think about what would have happened if the rest of the Order had not arrived. Would they be dead now? Would anyone have cared if they all died?

There was no glory, no glory at all. Crouch had no thanks to give to them. They weren't in Hogwarts anymore. There were no House points for good deeds, no praise from professors. They were adults, facing dangers that were very real. Grudgingly, he had to admit that Moody was right - they weren't ready to face it. It was a jarring change from what used to be.

For the first time, Sirius fully understood. They were underground; they weren't meant to be celebrated, acknowledged. They did their duty without an ounce of expectation.

He looked over at James, who was slumped on the couch, tiredly rubbing his head, and knew without even thinking that he felt exactly the same.

Sirius knew he didn't care about glory – he never cared about being the hero. He didn't want to be. But something in the way Crouch's eyes glinted and the way Moody spoke made him uneasy. The two men responsible for the good side battling against evil were so distrusting of each other. He shuddered, thinking of just how easily a single mistake could mean catastrophe for the movement against Voldemort.

And that laugh, from the death eater who almost backed him into the flames… that laugh… jeering, familiar. Chilling. He couldn't place it. It was a man's laugh, one he knew he heard before. He just couldn't remember where.

Sirius looked over at James again, and saw that he had fallen asleep. With a sigh, Sirius too laid his head down, and fell asleep on the living room floor, dreaming of flames engulfing the night and a laughter that never died.

* * *

After another day of training, James and Remus decided to grab some food inLondon. Peter had to work. Sirius was acting mysterious, and took off immediately – nobody asked where he was going, because they knew he wouldn't tell them anyway.

"I don't know what I want to do, Moony," James said as they strode along. "It's not that I'm not motivated – I just- can't decide."

"Luckily, you don't have to," Remus said. "Not yet, anyway. Merlin knows that the Order is keeping us quite busy as it is."

"Lily's training for the Ministry, Marcella's at the Prophet, Peter and Faye have jobs, and you-"

Remus laughed. "Me, I'm biding my time. Look, I want to be a healer. Ever since my aunt died, it's what I've wanted. But you, James – you can do everything, or you can do nothing. What do you really want?"

"I want to be a Quidditch player," James said. "It sounds incredibly stupid, I know. But I'm good at it. It's always been what I enjoyed the most."

"Then do it," Remus said simply.

James turned and stared at him.

"You have one life to live, James," Remus said. "That's it. With the war, nobody even knows how long that life will be."

"McGonagall said it would be a waste of my talent," James muttered.

"She's a practical person," Remus shrugged. "Now's not the time to be practical."

They turned a corner, and found themselves outside a jewelry shop. Without thinking about what he was doing, James slowly came to a halt, and stared at the shop window.

"I'm going to ask Lily to marry me."

Where those words came from, he didn't know- but they felt so natural, so right.

Remus stared at his friend. "James?"

"I love her." James turned to Remus, eyes shining.

Remus couldn't help but smile - at the moment, James reminded him of the James who, in his first year, jumped on his broomstick for the first time and rode off into the sky with joy. "I know you do. Are you sure you're ready?"

"I love her," James repeated. "And you're right. Our lives are likely not going to be very long, not with this war. I don't know much, but I want to be with her forever, that much I do know."

Remus beamed, and clapped him on the back. "Congrats mate, you know I'll support you."

Just then, a huge roaring sound came from behind them. "OY!" a voice shouted. James and Remus turned to see Sirius speeding toward them on a giant black motorcycle.

"IS THIS INCREDIBLE OR WHAT!" Sirius yelled, zooming past them. "JUST BOUGHT IT, OFF A MOTORBIKE LOT!"

James and Remus burst out laughing. "AMAZING!" James yelled back. "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

"TO SHOW MARCELLA! I LOOK SEXY!" Sirius's voice faded as he rode out of sight, drowned by the roaring of the motorbike's engine.

Doubled over in laughter, the two marauders watched his disappearing frame, standing side by side on the sidewalk of the cobbled street.

"He still loves her, doesn't he," Remus said, still laughing.

James nodded. "He's too proud to admit it."

Remus fell silent. He looked over at James, who was now glancing longingly into the jewelry shop again, no doubt picking out a wedding ring in his mind.

In that moment, Remus envied his friend. James may not know what he wanted to do with his life, but he had Lily, and he wasn't afraid to take a huge leap of faith. James wasn't afraid to love.

He, Remus, was still wading in the pool of guilt and regret, too scared and too timid to go after what he wanted.


	70. Matters of the Heart

A/N: So sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up! I've been writing this concurrently with another story but since chapters for this story are twice as long and much more complicated, it's been slower to finish things.

Thank you again for all your support! To the readers and reviewers, you guys are amazing, and I really appreciate all the kind words you've given me over the years.

* * *

_July, 1978_

* * *

Matters of the Heart

"I gather you've all properly recovered from your first attack," Moody growled. "As you've seen, learning spells in training is very different from defending against a group of Death Eaters."

The recruits nodded sleepily. It was early in the morning once more, and training had just commenced. Lily rubbed her eyes tiredly.

"You all know the basics thoroughly by now," Moody continued. "Yes, even you, Pettigrew. But that won't be enough."

He paced around the room, eyes narrowed. "As you all know, Voldemort and his followers have been using the Unforgivable Curses without abandon. Of course, this is making things more difficult for us, but I'm not here to talk about that."

Suddenly, he halted to a stop. "Mr. Black. Stand up."

Startled, Sirius stared, and slowly obeyed. Before he had time to even process anything, Moody pointed his wand at him and shouted "Imperio!"

Instantly a sensation of pure joy floated over him, and his mind went blank. He had never felt so happy, so serene. Is this what heaven feels like?

And from far away, he heard a distant voice call out to him. _Leap onto the table,_ the voice sang, beautiful and ethereal in his head. Sirius felt happier than he had his entire life, as if his life desire was to leap onto the table. _Why not?_ he told himself. It sounds like such a good idea…he felt his knees bend…

Suddenly, the sensation was gone, and he found himself crouched on top of the dining table as James and Peter roared with laughter and Lily fervently giggled.

"Think it's funny, do you?" Moody snapped, whipping around, wand now pointed directly at James. "Get down, Mr. Black. We'll see how this one does."

The smile was wiped immediately from James's face and he now looked uncertain.

"UP!" Moody roared, and James quickly obeyed. "Imperio!"

And within seconds, James was doing cartwheels around the living room, shouting Remus's name non-stop. It took all of the recruits' control not to burst into laughter.

When Moody finally lifted the curse on James, James looked thoroughly confused. Sirius couldn't help it- he let out a snicker.

"Sit down, Potter," said Moody, and James quickly returned to his seat. "Right, now as you can see, the Imperius Curse is powerful. It gives you total control, and I'm sure you all are smart enough to recognize the consequences."

"Are you going to be teaching us how to use the curse?" squeaked Peter stupidly.

Moody's eyes narrowed. "No, Mr. Pettigrew. I'm going to teach you how to fight it." Abruptly, he turned to Sirius. "Up again you get, Mr. Black. Try and fight off the curse."

Sirius opened his mouth to protest, but with one look at Moody grudgingly stood. Before he had any time to gather his thoughts Moody yelled "Imperio!" and his mind went blank again.

This time, when the curse was lifted, he found himself beneath the dining table, crouched in fetal position. Moody's eyes were full of cold laughter.

"That wasn't fair," Sirius snarled. "You didn't give me any time to prepare."

"And the Death Eaters will?" snapped Moody, eyes blazing. "Again, Mr. Black, up!"

Hating Moody with every fiber of his being, Sirius dragged himself out from under the table and steadied himself. This time, he was prepared. For the third time, Moody shouted "Imperio!" and Sirius's mind went blank.

_Go to James Potter, walk to Potter_, the serene voice was saying in his head. Instantly, Sirius felt his body lumber towards where James was sitting. There was no resistance, walking to his best friend was the right thing to do…

But the voice, angelic and ethereal, did not stop. _Punch James Potter_, it said, _punch him across the face._ A small alarm went off in the back of Sirius's mind. Punch James? Suddenly, the voice didn't feel so right…

_No, maybe I shouldn't, that doesn't seem right,_ Sirius's thoughts argued. His brain felt scrambled. He felt his arm lift and could barely make out James's apprehensive face, not two feet away…

_Hit him,_ the voice echoed.

_I don't think I should_, Sirius responded.

_Do it now, now!_

"NO!"

There was a scream; Sirius snapped out of the curse and instantly felt agonizing pain in his knuckles; he had instead swung at a wall, and punched it full-force, leaving a dent in the plaster.

"Bloody hell!" cursed Sirius, teeth clenched. His hand throbbed; it felt broken.

Moody pointed his wand at Sirius's hand. Instantly, some of the pain subsided, though the part of his skin that had made contact with the wall was still peeled and bloody.

"YOU!" Sirius roared at Moody, losing his temper completely. "What if I had actually hit James? You can't do this! You can't pit us against each other for target practice, you'll have nobody left by the end!"

Chest heaving, Sirius stood defiantly, expecting Moody to give him an earful for his outburst.

Astonishingly, Moody smiled.

"That was well done, Mr. Black," said Moody, ignoring what Sirius just said. "You damn near beat it. I think that's enough for today. We will continue with this tomorrow." Without another word, Moody swept out of headquarters, leaving Sirius looking stricken.

Most of the recruits let out a sign of relief. Everyone groggily stood up and slowly disbanded. "Are you alright?" James asked, standing up to examine his friend's hand.

"Yeah," Sirius muttered. "Crazy old codger…"

There was a look in James's eyes, one that Sirius couldn't place. "Mate, are you okay?" Sirius asked, frowning.

"That curse is scary," spoke Marcella, making both boys jump. "It really seemed like you were going to hit James."

"But that wasn't me!" Sirius protested. "It was the curse-"

"Yes, I know," said Marcella patiently. "But you see, that's what makes it so powerful. With it you have total control. Someone could turn your best friend against you."

Sirius fell silent. He turned to look at James, and finally understood the look on his face. It was one of apprehension, as if he couldn't believe that Sirius would actually hurt him, even under the curse, and that Moody's demonstration had given him a bit of shock.

"I for one am glad Moody's teaching us how to fight it," Remus spoke up. "It takes lots of practice, and you can be sure the Death Eaters are using it even now to control important people."

"Why me, then?" said Sirius, teeth clenched. "What if I had seriously hurt James?"

Remus paused.

"You think it was smart of him!" said Sirius loudly, rounding on him.

"No, Sirius, we _know_ it was smart," interjected Lily, frowning. "Moody knew that the most resistance you would put up would be when he asked you to hit a friend. And he was right."

"You nearly beat it," said Remus evenly.

Sirius glared at all of them, but couldn't seem to find a proper retort. His hand was still bleeding. Instead, he turned and walked briskly out the front door, slamming it forcefully behind him.

"So full of joy, that one," Marcella said breezily.

* * *

James arrived at his parent's house in the late afternoon. He had been going to visit them every weekend since he found out they were sick. He knew he couldn't do anything – he was no healer. But it seemed even the healers couldn't do anything for them these days.

He always wanted to talk about their condition with them, but Mr. and Mrs. Potter were not fond of that topic.

"It's inevitable," his father would say. "Let's not linger on the future, let's just enjoy today." After a while James never brought it up, but their illness was always lodged in the back of his mind.

But today, he went to visit them with another topic in mind.

"Hi mum, dad!" His parents were in the living room, smiling up at him as he entered.

"It's great to see you," Mr. Potter said. He was looking paler and paler with each passing week. Both he and his wife rarely left the house now, partially due to lack of strength and partially due to James's fear that Voldemort supporters would kill them for information on the Order. The lines of age across both their faces were branching, expanding and deepening.

"Where's Lily, dear?" asked his mother.

"She's in training right now, for the ministry. She got the job," said James proudly.

"Oh that's fantastic!" said Mrs. Potter. "The one at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement?"

"Yes, that one." James paused, and sat down in an armchair. "Mum, dad, I want to talk to you about something."

His parents looked at each other. "What is it?" asked his father.

James took a deep breath. "I'm going to ask Lily to marry me."

He wasn't quite sure what reaction he was expecting, so he was only a little surprised when both his parent smiled wearily.

When they didn't say anything, he plowed on. "I know we're young, but Voldemort is getting stronger and stronger, and this war is getting worse. I love her and I want her by my side, always."

"James, you don't have to defend your decision to us," his mother said. "We'll always support you, and you know we love Lily."

"Really?" James said, surprised.

His mother smiled. "I could say you're too young, but this war has matured you, all of you. I could say that you haven't experienced enough of the toughness of life, that you're not ready to commit, but that would be a lie." She paused. "You've been through already what many don't experience in a lifetime."

"What your mother is saying is that we have no excuses, no reason you two shouldn't get married," his dad spoke. "We'll be behind you, everything you do. You're sure you want this?"

"I love her," James said simply.

"Then you're ready," said Mrs. Potter, smiling warmly at her son.

Relieved, James reached over to hug them both. "Thanks," he said quietly.

* * *

The next morning, Moody took turns putting the Imperius Curse on all of them in turn. By the end of the day, Sirius and James were the only ones that made progress in trying to fight it, though most of their attempts ended up in them crashing into a piece of furniture.

"Good, good!" Moody called as James, refusing to tackle Remus, had instead thrown himself into a table. "Progress Potter, very good! You can see it in his eyes, the rest of you, take notice!"

"He's mad!" hissed Sirius after training was over. His arm was bleeding and his head, which had rammed into the arms of a couch, was throbbing.

"How are you two able to fight it?" Peter asked, frowning. "I can't do it! The moment he puts the curse on me I slip into oblivion and I can't remember anything…"

"I don't know," James said truthfully, siphoning blood off his leg with his wand. "You really do have to focus."

"Plus, we have an advantage," Remus spoke. His last attempt at fighting the spell had been the only mildly successful one. "We know exactly what's coming, we can prepare for it. If you're just hit with the curse without being prepared it's a lot harder to fight off."

"You mean it gets harder than this?" Peter moaned. "I can't do it, I've tried, it's just not working…"

"You're not the only one," said Sirius. His eyes were slits. "Why d'you think Crouch is so suspicious? It takes a lot of time and skill to fight off a powerful curse like this, I'll bet you anything there are people in the ministry under the spell-"

"Don't say that!" interrupted Lily. Her green eyes were wide. James knew exactly what she was thinking – that she was now working at the ministry, and that she couldn't bear the thought of those under the curse around her.

Sirius opened his mouth to protest, but stopped at a warning look from James, and promptly shut it instead.

Suddenly, two people burst into the living room, and the recruits turned to see a very rosy-faced Alice Longbottom and an extremely pleased-looking Frank.

"We're engaged!"Alice shouted gleefully.

Instantly, the girls in the room gasped and erupted into cheers. Lily, Marcella and Faye rushed over to examine Alice's new ring, while Sirius, James, Remus and Peter congratulated Frank.

"Oh, it's beautiful!" Faye gasped, beaming. "Alice, this is wonderful news!"

"Isn't it though?"Alice laughed. There was a light in her eyes that James had never seen before. "He proposed in Hogsmeade, where we had our first date! Very quaint and romantic."

As the girls chattered, James grinned, along with everyone else. He couldn't help but notice how young Alice suddenly looked, as a bride-to-be…Alice's beaming smile lit up the room. Sometimes he forgot that she was not much older than they were.

He supposed that war aged people quickly.

* * *

It was Saturday, and after a long week of having their minds controlled by Moody, James and Sirius were looking forward to having some downtime in their flat.

"This is fantastic," Sirius said, grinning as he flipped on an old muggle television that Remus had given them for their new place. "Brilliant, really brilliant!"

James laughed. "Enjoying the muggle life?"

"Now that you mention it…" Sirius stopped on a channel with bikini-clad muggle girls strolling on a beach. A wolfish grin came to his face. "Absolutely."

Laughing, James got up to go grab a cold drink from the kitchen. As soon as he stood up, he heard a rapport of knocks on the front door. Frowning, he walked over and threw it open to find a completely enraged-looking Lily.

"What happened?" he asked, as she flew into the room, her face as red as her hair.

"I just got a call from my mother – OH SIRIUS BLACK WILL YOU TURN THAT DOWN?" she shrieked, as muggle girls on the television program giggled loudly.

"Alright, alright!" Sirius shouted, throwing his hands up. He grabbed the remote control and examined it with a look of utmost confusion. "How do I turn this off?"

James roared with laughter as Lily stomped over, snatched the remote from his hand, and clicked off the TV with the press of a button.

"You're a genius!" Sirius said cheekily.

"Shut it," snarled Lily, throwing the remote down on the ground. "James Potter, this isn't funny!"

"You haven't even told me what's the matter!" James protested, trying his hardest to suppress his laughter.

"Petunia's engaged!"

This effectively wiped all the laughter from James's face. "Wait, what?"

Lily paced quickly around the house. Sirius was now looking at her apprehensively from the couch, a gaping look on his face.

"I got a call from my mother," said Lily. Her whole body seemed to shake. "She asked me whether or not I was going to the wedding. When I asked her what wedding – she - "

She couldn't seem to finish her sentence, and instead plopped down on the couch next to Sirius, her head in her hands. Gingerly, Sirius put a protective arm around her shoulders. She lifted her head to look at him, surprised but pleased.

"Go on," said Sirius encouragingly.

"When I asked her what wedding, she said, 'Petunia didn't tell you? I thought she did! She's engaged to Vernon,'" Lily repeated, biting her lip. "My own sister, didn't even tell me that she's getting married… I knew we weren't on good terms, but it hasn't always been that way, and I always thought that when it came to something as important as this…"

James sat down on the other side of her, and held her hand in his. He knew she was trying very hard not to cry by avoiding his gaze, but her green eyes glittered with tears.

"And to that absolute pig!" Lily shook her head vigorously. "I loathe that Vernon guy, he's horrible! What she sees in him, I can't fathom…"

"At least you don't have to see his fat bottom waddling down the aisle-" Sirius started, but quickly fell silent at the stricken look on Lily's face.

"That's the thing," she whispered hollowly. "I don't even know if I'm invited to the wedding…"

"Well of course you would be!" James said, incensed. "How could she not invite you?"

"She didn't seem to find it important to tell me." Lily shook her head. "I had to find out from my mother, two weeks after it happened."

Hiding her face from James and Sirius, she buried her head in her hands again, relapsing into silent sobs. James squeezed her hands, and Sirius patted her on the back. Neither man knew what to say.

"What did Marcella say about all this?" asked James after a long silence.

Lily lifted her head; her eyes were puffy. "Oh, I don't know," she said. "She's been with Dan this entire morning, she said she had something important to discuss with him. Where are Remus and Peter?"

"Peter's working," James said. "Remus should be coming over any moment, I think he spent the morning with Faye."

"Those two should stop pretending like they can't be together," Lily said, letting out a shaky laugh. "They're only fooling themselves."

"That's what I told him!" Sirius said. "Blimey, he never listens to me…"

At that moment, there was another rapport of knocks on the door.

"Ah, must be Moony," Sirius said, springing up from the couch. Grinning, he threw the door wide open, to find himself face to face with Marcella.

"Hi!" he said loudly.

She laughed at the expression on his face. "Hi Sirius. Is Lily here?"

"I'm here," came Lily's voice from the couch.

"I thought you might be here, after I couldn't find you at Headquarters." Marcella stepped into the room, and gazed over at Lily on the couch, James's hands over hers. "Are you alright?" she asked concernedly.

"Petunia's getting married," said Lily in a constricted voice. "And she didn't tell me."

"Oh Merlin," sighed Marcella, sitting down next to Lily and giving her a huge hug. "Are you alright?"

"No, I'm very upset!" Lily said angrily. "I can't believe she wouldn't tell me about this, I thought she would finally be mature enough, after all these years, to accept me! Lord knows I've tried, you know I have!"

"I know," Marcella said patiently. "Petunia's not worth getting upset about, she'll never let go of her petty jealousy."

Lily sighed, and lapsed into silence. James gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, and Sirius had sat back down on the couch.

"I broke up with Dan," Marcella said conversationally.

"What?" Lily gasped, whipping around to face her friend. "You kept that quiet! Why did you let me babble on about Petunia?"

Marcella laughed. James quickly glanced over at Sirius, who was now two shades paler, and determinedly not looking in Marcella's direction.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked.

"I'm fine," Marcella said. "It just wasn't working for us. He's a great person, but I always felt like something was missing."

"Wow," Lily said, gaping at her. "You seem so – so _fine_."

Marcella laughed at the look on Lily's face. "I think it's been coming on for a while now. We're still friends. Don't worry about me, Lily."

Lily shot her a wobbly smile. "I really admire you sometimes," she said. "You're not shaken by anything."

"Not true," Marcella grinned. "But thanks all the same."

The girls stayed for a while to chat with the guys, and soon Remus, Faye and Peter had showed up as well. James and Lily made dinner for everyone, while Sirius and Marcella flipped through the channels of the television set, laughing and joking with each other.

"Look at those two," Lily whispered, nudging James as he chopped vegetables. "They're totally still in love with each other."

James glanced over to see Sirius playfully tackle Marcella onto the couch as she shrieked with laugher. He couldn't help but grin. "And you'd be okay if they got back together?" he whispered back.

Lily looked thoughtful for a moment. "Yes," she said finally.

"I thought you couldn't stand the idea," James said, mouth twitching.

She scowled playfully at him. "That was before." Smiling, she glanced over at Marcella and Sirius, who were now arguing about whether Remus should get a haircut. "I learned a couple months ago when Sirius and I had our talk by the lake just how much he loves her."

"He's scared," James said.

Lily shot him a small smile. "Aren't we all?"

Laughing, James pulled her in by the waist and placed a kiss on her lips.

"Oy!" came Sirius's voice. "You two! Stop snogging, our dinner's going to burn!"

Flushing, Lily broke away from James long enough to shout back, "stop complaining, you lazy arse! If you actually tried _helping_ us, for once-"

"Then the dinner would burn faster," Sirius yelled back cheekily.

"Don't worry, Lily, I'll get him back for that one," Marcella grinned, now chasing Sirius around the living room as Remus, Faye and Peter roared with laughter.

When they all had settled down enough to eat, Lily and James brought out the food, and everybody dug in, famished. Lily had forgotten all about Petunia andVernonby this point. But as she glanced over at her best friend, she noticed a hint of sadness in Marcella's eyes, one that her laughter couldn't mask.

"Thanks for dinner," Peter squeaked after everyone was done eating. "I have to get back to Diagon Alley, I have the night shift too."

"Blimey, mate, they're working you to death!" James said, frowning.

Peter shook his head. "I'm alright, I promise."

"Take care, Wormtail."

As Peter walked out the door and disapparated, Lily and Marcella stood up to leave as well. Lily gave James a quick kiss, then the two girls headed out and towards Headquarters.

"Marci, are you positive you're alright?" Lily asked quietly as they walked along the cobbled streets. The flat was not a very far walk from Headquarters, and the stars were bright in the summer night sky.

Marcella grinned ruefully. "You know me too well Lily. The breakup with Dan was actually pretty difficult. I really did love the guy, you know."

"I know," Lily said softly. "So why?"

Sighing, Marcella turned to look at her. "Lily, you're going to hate me, but here goes. I still have feelings for Sirius."

To her surprise, Lily smiled. "I know."

"And you don't hate me?"

"Never," Lily laughed. "I just don't want to see you get hurt again…"

"I'm not looking to start something with him," said Marcella quickly. "I just didn't think I was being fair to Dan." She paused. "It was clear to me he wasn't the one."

They walked along in silence for a while, each marveling at the quiet streets ofLondonat nighttime.

"I do have to tell you something though," Marcella said presently. "Remus told me something that I'm probably not supposed to be telling you. The only reason I am is because I'm not sure you're entirely prepared or ready for this."

"What is it?" asked Lily apprehensively.

Marcella took a deep breath. "James is going to ask you to marry him."

Lily was thunderstruck. A thousand different emotions seemed to shoot through her body at once, and her breathing became shallow.

"Oh my god," she gasped. "Oh Merlin… Are you sure?"

"Just relaying what I heard."

"No, no I'm not ready for this," Lily said, beginning to panic. "We just graduated, I'm only eighteen years old! I'm not ready to get married – I – Marci, what do I do?"

Marcella shook her head, now looking like she regretted her decision. "I don't know… Maybe I shouldn't have told you - "

"I'm glad you did," Lily said, nodding so quickly she resembled a bobblehead. "Yes, because now I can prepare, now I can tell him-" Suddenly, she fell silent.

"Lily? Are you alright?" Marcella asked concernedly.

"I don't know," Lily sighed.

Marcella turned and grabbed Lily by the shoulders, eyes locked on hers. There was a glimmer of anger in them and Lily wanted to back away, but the next second it had disappeared. "Lily, listen to me," Marcella said quietly. "You love him, don't you?"

"Yes, of course!"

"There's no saying when he'll ask you. Maybe it's a week from now, maybe it's a year from now. All I'm saying is, don't panic. Don't overthink it. Just – let things be. He loves you, so much so that he wants to live his life with you."

Lily stared at her for a moment, then gave a wobbly smile. "You're right, Marci," she sighed. "I was being stupid. I really do love him."

Marcella laughed. "I know. And trust me Lily, you're very very lucky."

And in that moment Lily knew that her best friend was thinking about Sirius, and she truly realized just how lucky she was.


End file.
